[narrator] Previously on 90 Day Fiance: The Other way...
Today is the start of our journey,
and we'll be heading south out of England.
I'm just new to communicating in a healthy way.
It's nice that you are just communicating with me now.
This is the whole reason I'm here...
Yeah.
Hi.
Today I'm meeting Ingi's parents for the first time.
[father] Do you want to have kids?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
[Ingi speaking]
I want to know what's your job?
I can't work.
But the thing I could offer her
is just that I'm in love with her.
I knew I would be judged for not being able to work.
I don't want Lily's family to think this marriage is not a good idea.
They want a grandkid so badly. I just know that.
But now, I don't even know if James want a kid.
-Please move. -Okay.
[Shekinah] He was yelling at me in the car and saying
he's changed his whole life for me.
What have I done? What have I done?
I haven't done anything for him.
And then he came over and grabbed my phone,
ripped my hair extension out.
It feels, like, surreal, like, this isn't real.
[sniffles]
And it just, like, what's so wrong? [exhales]
[Meitalia speaking]
I'm still waiting to see how I feel about that one.
But nervous for, uh...
nervous of how it'll all go.
We are officially moving into Tatha's parents' house,
and, right now,
I can't picture myself living here.
It's still their house, their rules.
It definitely has me very anxious about what to expect.
-Yeah. Okay. -[Ratiman] Okay.
Whatever you need, we will help to look for it.
[James] Okay.
The room we're moving into,
it literally looks like a prison cell.
It's a giant bunch of concrete,
so we have a lot of work ahead of us.
We have to put floor in,
put some wallpaper on the wall
to at least make it look less like a concrete cell.
[Ratiman speaking]
[James] Nice.
We've gotten the door done.
Okay.
And there's a bed.
[both laughing]
[James] After all the work we've done to the room,
I'm feeling super-exhausted.
But right now,
it still feels a little bit weird being here
with her parents right beside us.
We'll see how it goes.
I'm definitely...
nervous about it.
[speaking in foreign language]
[Meitalia speaking in English]
[in foreign language]
[in English]
And there's like seven people living at my parents' house.
So it's nice that James brought gift for all of them.
[all exclaiming]
[speaking in foreign language]
[in English] He said, "Thank you so much!"
[Meitalia speaking in foreign language]
[James in English] I brought these beautiful amethyst necklaces
for Tatha's mom and for her sister.
This is silver.
[Meitalia speaking in foreign language]
[Sugirah in English] Thank you.
I also brought moon coins for her dad.
They are just a symbolism of
no matter where we are,
we are always looking at the same moon
under the same stars.
[in foreign language]
[in English] One day when you have a kid, it'll be like this.
[Sugirah speaking in foreign language]
[in English] Go fast to have a kid.
[all exclaim]
[Meitalia speaking] It's just the culture here.
When you're married,
they're expecting you to have a kid.
And this make me sad
because I know James is gonna be a great dad.
[in foreign language]
[chuckles softly]
[in English] The kid will be so handsome like you.
-Aw. -[all laughing]
[in foreign language]
[James in English] I know this is a conversation
that they're going to keep throwing at me
time after time after time.
It's been something they've said
since me and Tatha have been together.
So, I know my doubts about having children,
it's not gonna go over well.
[in foreign language]
[Meitalia in English] If you guys have a kid,
I will have more grandchild and grandkids.
Wow.
[Sugirah in foreign language]
[upbeat music playing]
♪♪ Life's wonderful with you, beautiful ♪
♪♪ Shining so bright ♪
♪♪ It tastes so sweeter with you by my side... ♪
[barking]
[Dempsey speaking]
[chuckles softly]
We've been apart for a few months,
so, yeah, it was nice,
and I think it's released a lot of tension...
[chuckling] if anything.
The van has been christened, yes,
multiple times.
[chuckles softly]
[Dempsey] Hello.
Well, do you wanna go?
I guess we have a boot sale to attend,
whatever the heck that is.
What exactly is a car boot sale?
We don't... I don't know if we have them in America.
[Dempsey] You park on a field
and then you put, like, a table out
and put all your things on the table
a bit like a market, sort of, style vibe.
Hopefully, I'll sell some things.
Yeah, hopefully.
[Dempsey] It's called a boot sale,
because in England,
the trunk of a car is a boot of the car.
-How about a spot over there? -Yeah.
Since I've had to downsize so much,
I thought it would be a quick way to get rid of some stuff
and earn some extra cash.
I reckon that'll do for now.
Okay.
-Now we wait, I suppose. -[chuckling] We wait.
-[Statler] Hello. -Hiya.
-Most maybe not. -[both chuckle]
How do people usually do?
We go out and talk to people or... "Hello."
Come and buy out of our boot.
Clothes for sale.
Hiya.
-Hi. -[Statler] Ah, yes. Hello.
-We have all kinds of tarot cards... -[chuckles]
-...regular cards... -Most of the clothes are, like,
size 6 and 8.
-[both chuckle] -That is awesome. Wow.
Yeah. That's £7, please.
[Statler] Very nice. Our first sale of the day.
We appreciate it.
-Thank you. -[woman] Thanks. Bye.
-Have a good one. -Bye-bye.
-So we've sold one thing. [chuckles] -Yeah.
If we were to sell, like, everything here,
by some miracle,
um, how much do you think we would get for it?
I don't know.
[Statler] Okay.
Like, um...
these are, like, difficult conversations
for me to have in general, but I feel, like,
I wanna have a healthy relationship with you.
So I was talking to my friend Natalie,
and she just noticed that I tend to give
and give and give in relationships
of my...
finances.
-And so, I'm trying to be more mindful of that. -[Dempsey] Yeah.
You also have said many a-times,
"I wanna to provide for you."
Like, "You don't need to work.
I'll provide for you. I want to be--"
I've never-- I feel like...
-I never said like 100%. -It's one of your--
It's one of your kinks,
-like, to look after somebody financially. -But not 100%.
-Not 100%. -It's 100% though, is it?
You haven't got the van 100% on your own.
Yeah. No, I'm not-- I'm not saying that I have.
In an ideal world,
I would just spoil the heck
out of the person that I'm with.
But in reality... [chuckles softly]
I'm in a lot of debt.
And so, while I've agreed for Dempsey not to have a job now,
this isn't a long-term thing.
Long-term, I want us to both be able to have jobs.
[Shaun] Dempsey, what are you going to do for work?
-Um... so I'm just gonna do bits of work here and there... -[Shaun] Okay.
For a couple of months, I'll be the breadwinner.
I really would like a partner who's also financially independent.
[clears throat]
Have you girls agree on that? Like...
We talked about finances.
At this point, no.
I've tried to bring up money stuff in the past with Dempsey,
but she just jumps to immediately getting very defensive.
And so it's hard for me
to have a conversation about this stuff
because I'm basically just ready
for her to jump down my throat.
I'll be paying everything for a while,
you know what I mean?
I have the loan that I've taken out,
and then, you know,
I also had to take an extra $6,000 out
-in, like, an advance at work. -Yeah.
I'm just saying going forward,
it would be nice for us both to have money coming in...
-Yeah. -...in some ways.
[Dempsey] I just put, like, my trust in the universe, and...
I know that wherever I go,
I will always find a way to make money.
It's just the way that I am. It's just the way that I live.
Right, but doing, kind of, like, what kind of things,
-out of curiosity? -[Dempsey] Whatever I want.
-Whatever I feel... -[Statler] Just so I have an idea, like--
I don't have an idea, just...
-You just know that you're gonna... -Yeah.
-...manifest a job. -Yeah.
Okay.
-So... -I don't have any money concerns.
-Right. And I do. -Okay.
So...
Yeah.
I'm independent. I always have been.
I will work when I need to work.
Like, that's just the way
that I wanna live my life, at the minute.
[sighing impatiently]
I know that you like to have a plan, but I don't.
So we're just gonna have to work with each other on that.
Like, that's just how I am.
And you knew that before you got into this with me.
I mean, I've got the last, like, month's wages
coming to my bank.
And then I still have the money from my car.
-Oh, from your car? -[Dempsey] Yeah.
I have no worries about earning money.
Okay.
[tense music playing]
[Statler] It's the first time I'm hearing
that she, you know, had extra money.
I didn't know she had extra money from her car.
In fact, when she called me, she was like,
"We need this money now,
or we're not going to get the van."
So I put myself in an uncomfortable position
with my boss, asking for more money.
And then, in reality,
she actually has all this money stashed away.
Like, I don't even know what to feel.
I'm... sad, I think, mostly.
I'm sad because I feel let down.
I feel betrayed.
I feel like she kept this from me, and it's...
She's just, kind of, flying past it
like it's not a big deal.
I just feel like I'm getting screwed over.
I don't feel that she truly hears what I have to say.
It's, you know, opening a wound.
[sniffles]
[Shekinah] He's been texting me all day.
Last night, Sarper and I got into a huge fight,
and I decided the best decision for me
was to go check into a hotel.
Right now, I don't know if I even wanna see him again.
Um, so last night, you know, we had a discussion,
you know, frustration came.
I've been trying to explain something
to her for a few days,
you know, about a little simple thing,
this white light that flashes.
Oh, flash. Did you see a flash?
[Lily] Uh?
[sighing] Oh.
I see 'em all over the highways.
I wasn't sure if it was cameras.
And, you know,
she just usually does a, "Hmm. Okay."
And just, kind of, blows it off.
I think Lily understands me maybe 75% of the time.
And when I'm speaking to her, she cuts me off
or she'll be like, "No, no. I know, I know, I know,"
when I know she really doesn't know,
which is even more frustrating.
All our arguments are probably due
to simple translation errors.
It really comes down to communicating
and understanding.
[sighing sadly]
[speaking in foreign language]
[in English]
"Oh, my God."
[Josh] When we're driving into our parking garage,
you see this white flash.
And I asked her, I was like,
"Can you drive around so I could show you?
Because it just went off."
So she got really frustrated
that I asked her to turn around.
[speaking in foreign language]
[in English] Then she went right back to it, you know,
talking about,
"I buy this, this and this for you."
Always reminding me that... what she spends
and how much she does for our relationship,
it's, you know, opening a wound.
Because we talked about it, so she knew it bothered me.
I know she loves me, I know she cares...
[sniffles] ...but...
I don't...
feel that she truly hears what I have to say.
Because if she truly heard me, she wouldn't do it.
[sniffles]
[Lily speaking in foreign language]
[Shekinah] That's a good boy.
That's a good boy.
Last night, Sarper and I got into a huge fight,
and I decided the best decision for me
was to go check into a hotel.
And, right now, I don't know if I even wanna see him again.
He's been texting me all day.
He sent me even some videos of him apologizing.
He says he's ashamed of himself.
He hates himself.
He uses, like, really strong language
to describe his feelings.
I think what happened was
he didn't have a birthday gift for me.
I told him after we met with his parents,
"Now we're gonna go home and I'm gonna give you your gifts."
And I think he was panicking
'cause he didn't have anything to give me.
And so he was like, "I'm gonna buy this vanity right now
for your birthday."
And I was like, "But I don't like any of those vanities.
Like, let's just wait."
But it turned into a huge fight.
And, like, why would something like that turn into a fight?
I don't even need a gift.
It just turned into such a huge mess.
Sarper showed a side of himself that was different
than anything I've seen from him before.
We've had fights before,
and I've left his house before and gone to a hotel
because I was so upset by his behavior,
but it wasn't to the degree that it was last night.
He'd ripped the phone out of my hand.
He'd ripped out my hair extension.
I get it. He--
He was triggered, and he was upset.
But that side he showed me last night,
I just... I can never see it again.
I can never see that side of him again.
Sarper grabbing the phone out of my hand is so wrong.
Like, I'm never okay with somebody, like,
physically removing something from me.
And it triggered me so much
because I had an ex that was very, um,
physically abusive.
And I know that my hair getting ripped out was a mistake.
He didn't mean that.
But he did mean to grab my phone,
and I'm not okay with that.
Sarper doesn't want to hear about my past,
so he doesn't know, you know, about the person.
But it almost doesn't matter, because, like,
regardless of the fact
that I've experienced that before or not,
it's still not okay.
It's wrong. And it feels terrible.
If he just thinks we're going to fall back into, like,
our happy life
and things are going to be great...
he's totally wrong.
All day, it was the most important day for us,
both of us birthday.
I wanted to make her happy.
And I got pissed off.
I got so upset.
And I saw my mama got upset.
I don't know.
I mean so much things in my brain,
but I overreacted.
I mean, when I grabbed her phone,
I understood at that moment,
it was totally a mistake.
I am so regretful.
I texted her.
I said that I'm so sorry.
I apologize for a million times.
She didn't reply.
My mom, she's not really like, the gentlest person.
I did promise my family
that we would do a video call with Ingi.
We definitely need to see a wedding happen, though.
-Yeah. Where the ring at? -[laughs]
Did I tell a joke?
[Corona speaking in foreign language]
[Ingi] You want a beer?
Yes, please.
All right.
So I was just texting my mom.
I think we gotta do a little video chat with her.
Yeah. Cool.
You're excited?
Yeah.
-Okay. -[both laugh]
I shouldn't be, or?
I mean, I've been telling you this whole time,
maybe be a little nervous.
Before I left the States, I did promise my family
that we would do a video call with Ingi.
But I'm a little reluctant,
because Ingi comes from such a sweet background,
and his parents are so understanding and accepting.
And my family can be a little in your face and abrasive.
And if you're not ready for that,
it can come out as a lot.
-My mom, she is hard of hearing. -Yeah.
Try to, like, pronunciate your words
-as much as you can... -Okay.
-...because she reads lips. -Okay.
-That's how she, like, communicates. -Okay.
Anything else?
[exhales and breathes deeply]
My mom, she's not really like... [laughs]
-...the gentlest person, you know? -All right.
So if she hurts your feelings,
I apologize in advance for her.
-Because she definitely won't. -Eh.
But she might be nice.
I may be, like, over-prepping you.
But I'd rather you be over prepped than under prepped.
Yeah, let's do it.
Ingi doesn't believe me when I say
that I am throwing him to the wolves.
My family can be hilarious and funny,
but they can also be like, intense and cutthroat.
Like, we can be some vicious ladies.
Like, I just can't see it. [laughs]
Whoo. You gonna learn.
-Hi. -Hi!
This is Ingi. [laughs]
Eh, not really. We're safe.
-[Quentessia] Uh-uh. -All right.
[laughs]
All right. That's good to know.
Should I call her Mookie? Is that--
Do you know her as Corona?
-Yeah. -You can call me Mookie.
That's fine.
My mom calls me Mookie because I have absolutely no idea.
I've been Mookie since I was born.
I didn't know my name wasn't Mookie until I was, like, four.
-I'm down for it, as long as you know that... -Is that--
you know, her being a midwife is really important.
So, I just want to make sure that you understand.
Are you aware of how important it is to her?
Of course.
Did you apply for that midwife school over there?
Not yet, but it's high on the list.
[laughs]
[both laugh]
Did I tell a joke?
So, Ingi, what have you learned from this conversation?
[both laugh]
Granny. Why are you so quiet?
I'm just taking it all in.
You said that you weren't gonna like Ingi.
What do you think so far?
[both laugh]
I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'm gonna be returning Corona, like I said.
[Fannie] No returns.
[all laughing]
No. No returns. No refunds.
So have you seen her, you know, pop off any?
No, not really.
Like, wh-- do-- have I?
No. God, no.
[Quentessia] If it does happen...
-[Tonya] Mmm-hmm. -Just run, or... [laughs]
You guys, you're supposed to be on my side.
Another thing I wanted to discuss is,
um, so you haven't--
you've never been in a relationship before, right?
Eh... yeah. I mean, nothing like this, at least.
Is there like a reason why you haven't?
No, I mean, not really.
I mean, maybe I just enjoyed being single,
like, really figuring out what I wanted
and, uh, searching for the right partner.
But I've been really looking forward
to, like, sharing my life with someone like Corona.
So, uh, eh... Yeah.
I mean, yes.
[Quentessia] Aw, you all look so cute together. Very cute.
We definitely need to see a wedding happen though.
So any-- you know, any talks of that?
Rings and stuff.
Yeah, I mean, look, we will figure this all out.
-Yeah, where the ring at? -[Quentessia laughs]
-[Quentessia] All right. Fair enough. Fair enough. -Nothing.
[Corona] Nothing.
Hearing his response about marriage
does make me feel
that maybe he does not take this seriously.
I'm risking all of this, doing all this,
and like, what am I getting in return?
His response is putting a lot of doubt in my mind now,
because, like, he's not really showing
that he's making a strong commitment.
Well, I hope it doesn't take y'all so long to get married, though.
I wanna see y'all, you know,
go ahead and solidify this bond.
And, you know, some commitment.
[Quentessia] Okay.
-Bye-bye. -Be civil.
Bye.
Nice. Nice.
-This was awesome. -Was it?
-Yeah. -Okay.
Popping off. We'll pop off together.
-Yeah. -[laughs]
[Lily speaking in foreign language]
[in English]
[Lily speaking in foreign language]
[in English]
[Lily exhales]
It's not about being wrong.
You always focus on
you need to be right and Josh wrong.
I'm trying to help you understand
where I'm coming from.
You know, I was always amazed
because I see these white flashes everywhere,
the streets, you know, the gates.
So I tried asking for two days, you know--
Yes. You asked me two days. Yeah.
You know, when I talk, you always cut me off.
And maybe that's why you don't hear what I'm trying to say.
Sometimes it does feel fake when you do things.
I have explained many times.
I don't need you to always tell me,
"I did this, Josh. I bought this for you.
This is for you. For you, for you."
I know you did.
I can't work.
I can't give you money to help.
So it hurts when you tell me that.
It makes me feel small.
Because I can't do it for you.
That's the frustrating part.
I want to feel you hear me and understand.
Lily, this is what you always say.
You saying, like, divorce, or you're leaving me
or you doubt the relationship, that hurts more than anything.
I want you to say, "We will figure it out."
Lily, I am in love with you, and I don't want to lose you.
And I know you're in love with me
and you don't want to lose me.
I don't like when you say that.
And I tell you,
it's a cop-out when you say,
"Oh, if you want to leave so you can be happy,
go, go, go!"
To me, that hurts.
I want to know, no matter how hard it is,
we will work on it together.
This whole experience is stressful.
I'm coming to China.
I only have you.
I don't speak Mandarin.
I am doing all of this for you.
If we argue or disagree, we just need to talk about it.
Moving to China, I gave up everything.
My family, my job, my friends.
And for her to just give up so quickly,
it hurts.
It's like stabbed in the heart and it kills me.
I think, uh...
Yes, and that's what I think I do.
Maybe sometimes I don't do it properly.
But I will fight and do whatever I need to do
to make sure we last.
[in foreign language]
[in English]
[Josh] Love you.
We have our wedding ceremony coming up, and I can't wait.
I love you. I look forward that...
our life is always happy.
I thought that you didn't really, like,
have any extra money.
The van is not in my name.
Mm-hmm.
And I feel like this is all a scam.
[Dempsey] She said she would financially support us.
So I'm really hurt that Statler thinks
that I'm using her.
This is scary.
[Dempsey] So we've got, like, a really long drive ahead.
So we need to find a fuel station first.
What do you call it? A gas station?
-Gas station, yeah. -Yeah.
[Statler] It's our third day on the road,
and we're still making our way towards France.
Dempsey and I haven't spoken about what went down yesterday.
And it's really disheartening.
And it doesn't feel good to know
that she's been hiding money from me,
knowing that I would have to go into more debt
in order to get the van.
It's not fair, and, you know,
the thoughts are just in my head,
like, "Are you getting taken for a loser?
because you look like one."
You didn't pay.
You pay after.
You pay after?
So they just trust you not to run off?
It's all cameras.
It takes your license plate, and if you don't pay,
the police come and get you.
Have you tried that?
No.
Me and Statler have been pretending like nothing's happened.
[Statler] While this is still going, I'll go get some snacks...
-Yeah, I'll see you in there. -...for this road trip.
When Statler said she needs me to have a plan,
she needs me to have income coming in soon,
that just feels like a whole lot of pressure
because that isn't what she said originally.
I feel like I've been trying to communicate with Statler
this whole time about money,
and she hasn't heard anything that I've said.
So it's really frustrating for me.
[Dempsey] Ah.
Wow!
Holy cow! 80-- £80 for that...
That's insanity.
£88 for filling up the tank?
Yeah, I pay like 30.
-Thank you. -Thank you very much.
I guess I just didn't have a-- like, clue
it would be that much.
Yeah.
I've never had a vehicle this big,
so I am just frankly amazed at how much this is costing.
I cannot believe how expensive that is.
Like, how many times are we gonna have to fill that up?
I don't know. It depends how far we go.
I'm in debt and the sole breadwinner,
so it's a huge weight on my shoulders.
I somehow have less than her but I'm contributing more.
And if that doesn't say something about me,
I don't know what else will. [laughs]
So...
Something has been weighing on my mind
since we discussed it yesterday.
Mm-hmm.
I remember the day before I got here, like,
you called me and you were like,
-we need another $6,000 to get the van. -Yeah.
So I thought that you didn't really, like,
have any extra money.
But then you told me at the boot sale,
that you had some money left over
from selling your car.
Yeah, which is like £500.
It was just a bit confusing
because it sounded like you...
were like freaking out about money,
but still had some from your car sale.
And you're like keeping it for yourself.
I'm not keeping it for myself.
I told you I still had money-- the money from my car.
Why are you getting like so defensive all the sudden?
-Just-- just chill. -Because--
We're just having a conversation.
That just scared me because the van is not in my name.
Mm-hmm.
-And I feel like it should be. -Yeah.
Because otherwise it puts me in, like,
kind of a dangerous place.
The van can only be in one person's name.
It can't be in two people's names.
When you were in Dallas,
we spoke about whose name the van was going in,
and it was in my name
'cause I had been speaking with the guy,
talking, you know,
about the whole sale and everything.
And I said to you,
"If it would make you more comfortable,
write up a letter, I'll sign it,
if anything happens between us, the van goes 50/50."
And that's just not something you took upon yourself to do.
I don't remember that conversation.
That's frustrating.
There was a lot going on.
I don't know.
You could, like, leave me in another country
and just take off with the van
while I'm on the-- on the toilet or something.
And then I would, like, call the police or whatever,
and then they'd be like,
"Well, it's in her name, so it's hers."
And that just hurts me because you don't trust me.
Dempsey, I do trust you.
Just not enough to think that I would leave you high and dry.
I don't think that you would leave me high and dry.
This is just me thinking worst-case scenario,
these intrusive thoughts that come in
that are like, "She's taking you on a ride.
Yeah, she says she loves you, but like, this is all a scam."
You know?
This is scary.
[Dempsey] When we came up with our plan,
Statler wanted to go now.
She wanted to leave America now,
get the van now.
And I said, "If you're also worried about money,
let's keep my trailer,
I'll stay and work another six months,
you can come and visit, and then we'll go."
"No, I want to go now."
She said she would financially support us.
So I'm really hurt that Statler thinks
that I'm using her.
♪♪
Still to come on 90 Day Fiance the Other Way...
-Ooh. -Agh!
Durian tastes like rotting human flesh.
[laughter]
♪♪
I think in a year I've had sex four times.
And in Ingi's defense, I kind of broke his penis.
[laughter]
What?
I don't have internet.
-Okay. -Without internet no job, no van life.
She's putting all that stress on me like it's my fault.
That's on her.
If this keeps being an issue 100 percent will get fired.
I want you to trust that I'll take care of her.
♪♪
Tata's sister spread some malicious lies about me.
I don't know.
♪♪
Did you really have no idea that I actually want to get married?
For the first time I'm looking at Ingi and I'm like,
"Who the hell is this guy?"
I'm telling you right now you are with the wrong person.
♪♪
I made a mistake, and I feel like
all of my friends and family were right.
I actually can!
Absolutely stunning.
Today is the day of our wedding,
but I really don't know if this is going to happen.
Your guests are going to be here in an hour and a half.
We have to cancel the wedding.
I feel so bad.
Oh, my God!
♪♪