1 00:00:01,896 --> 00:00:03,206 [woman] Previously on 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way... 2 00:00:03,241 --> 00:00:04,448 [both] Next. 3 00:00:05,379 --> 00:00:06,310 [Kenny] Next. 4 00:00:06,344 --> 00:00:08,310 Today we're going to pick our egg donor. 5 00:00:10,275 --> 00:00:13,517 Doing this, I realized that we have the same taste in women. 6 00:00:13,551 --> 00:00:15,482 If we ever want a three-way... [laughs] 7 00:00:17,413 --> 00:00:21,896 Last night, Sarper promised to make a post of us and he didn't follow through. 8 00:00:21,931 --> 00:00:23,551 [Shekinah] I just don't know why you promised that 9 00:00:23,586 --> 00:00:25,379 if you aren't gonna really do it. 10 00:00:25,413 --> 00:00:27,482 I will post right now. 11 00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:36,172 Our first post. 12 00:00:38,068 --> 00:00:40,379 -[Holly] I'll miss you. -I'll miss you too, babe. 13 00:00:40,413 --> 00:00:43,448 Wayne's been working a lot, so I'm alone a lot. 14 00:00:43,482 --> 00:00:46,000 I'm just having a hard time adapting to living here. 15 00:00:46,034 --> 00:00:47,344 Yeah. 16 00:00:47,379 --> 00:00:52,206 I agreed to this life, but I don't know if I can make it work. 17 00:00:55,482 --> 00:01:01,862 Brandan's mom arrived here in Candoni and, to me, it's been so awkward. 18 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:05,689 Brandan, will you come here, please? 19 00:01:05,724 --> 00:01:08,172 Your mom is not talking to me at all. 20 00:01:08,206 --> 00:01:09,862 I'm on your side. 21 00:01:11,862 --> 00:01:13,793 [dramatic music playing] 22 00:01:17,896 --> 00:01:20,172 [music playing] 23 00:01:24,896 --> 00:01:28,517 -Look at those. Oh, my... -Oh, my God. 24 00:01:35,689 --> 00:01:36,723 Come, babe. 25 00:01:36,758 --> 00:01:39,275 -Oh, this is so darling. -Here, sit here. 26 00:01:40,068 --> 00:01:41,620 -Here? -Yeah. 27 00:01:49,620 --> 00:01:51,413 -Hello. -[Shekinah] Hi. 28 00:01:51,448 --> 00:01:52,378 Hi. 29 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,344 [Sarper speaking] 30 00:01:59,758 --> 00:02:01,310 -Fusun. -Hi, how are you? 31 00:02:01,344 --> 00:02:02,241 -Fine, how are you? -Nice to meet you. 32 00:02:02,275 --> 00:02:03,275 Nice to meet you. 33 00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:04,758 [Sarper speaking] 34 00:02:11,689 --> 00:02:17,448 I'm only child of my parents, so my cousins, we grew up like brother and sister. 35 00:02:17,482 --> 00:02:21,620 Introducing Shekinah is a big deal for me. 36 00:02:21,655 --> 00:02:25,931 -[Sarper speaking] -[Shekinah] Yeah. I know. 37 00:02:25,965 --> 00:02:28,931 It's so interesting there's two with the same name in the same family. 38 00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:30,275 -[Sarper] Yeah. -[Shekinah] Yeah. 39 00:02:31,448 --> 00:02:32,586 -[girl] No. -Oh. No? 40 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,103 Did she see the baby sheep? 41 00:02:34,137 --> 00:02:35,310 -Did you see them? -[Fusun] Yeah. 42 00:02:35,344 --> 00:02:37,862 [Fusun speaking] 43 00:02:40,379 --> 00:02:42,896 She's so curious about you. 44 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:43,827 -[Shekinah] She is? -Yes. 45 00:02:43,862 --> 00:02:45,827 Oh, my gosh. 46 00:02:45,862 --> 00:02:48,930 -[Shekinah] 'Cause she loves her uncle so much. -Very much, yeah. 47 00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:50,827 What about your family? 48 00:02:50,862 --> 00:02:53,586 Do you feel close with them? 49 00:02:55,172 --> 00:02:56,482 [Fusun] Oh! You have a daughter. 50 00:02:56,517 --> 00:02:58,517 I have a daughter, yeah. 51 00:02:58,551 --> 00:03:01,482 -How old is she? -She's 15. Yeah. 52 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,275 And she's in boarding school, 53 00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:07,137 so I'll keep going back every five weeks to spend a week with her. 54 00:03:13,413 --> 00:03:15,517 -No, never. Never. -[Fusun laughs] Okay. 55 00:03:21,931 --> 00:03:24,172 Do you plan to have a child? 56 00:03:25,551 --> 00:03:28,379 I don't plan to have another child, no. 57 00:03:28,413 --> 00:03:30,586 At this age, it would be like starting over. 58 00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:41,827 The most important. What does he want? This is also important. 59 00:03:45,241 --> 00:03:46,827 [groans] 60 00:03:53,689 --> 00:03:55,862 -Let's change the subject. -Okay. 61 00:03:55,896 --> 00:03:57,930 -[all laughing] -Okay. 62 00:03:59,689 --> 00:04:00,931 [Sarper speaking] 63 00:04:22,931 --> 00:04:25,793 So, in the name of celebration of 64 00:04:25,827 --> 00:04:27,241 -[Sarper speaking] -Yeah. 65 00:04:27,275 --> 00:04:29,965 We have to write our wishes. 66 00:04:31,517 --> 00:04:36,379 It's great to make wishes all together because good energy. 67 00:04:36,413 --> 00:04:38,103 [Sarper and Shekinah] Yeah. 68 00:04:38,137 --> 00:04:40,482 I want to think about if I wanna draw a picture or write something. 69 00:04:44,172 --> 00:04:45,586 What are you doing? 70 00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:47,620 -Sorry, sorry. -[Sarper speaking imperceptibly] 71 00:04:50,896 --> 00:04:52,551 [Fusun and Shekinah] Oh, so cute! 72 00:04:52,586 --> 00:04:55,655 [Fusun and Shekinah laugh] 73 00:04:55,689 --> 00:04:59,137 -You have to write names. You have to be precise. -[Shekinah] Oh. 74 00:04:59,172 --> 00:05:01,724 I don't know his name. That's the problem. 75 00:05:01,758 --> 00:05:04,000 -[Fusun] His name? -Wait a second. What? 76 00:05:06,379 --> 00:05:09,862 The thing that I told you before, you know it. 77 00:05:09,896 --> 00:05:11,965 -Oh. -Yeah. 78 00:05:13,034 --> 00:05:15,379 A few months after Sarper and I started dating, 79 00:05:15,413 --> 00:05:18,793 he revealed something to me about his past. 80 00:05:18,827 --> 00:05:20,344 He hasn't told very many people about it, 81 00:05:20,379 --> 00:05:27,034 but I think this talk about having kids has brought it up for him. 82 00:05:27,068 --> 00:05:30,620 I don't if know my parents already told you that, but... 83 00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:36,206 I have a son. 84 00:05:37,482 --> 00:05:39,344 What? 85 00:05:39,379 --> 00:05:43,689 I have a son, but I never met or seen him before. 86 00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:16,620 And that time, I only gave my email account to her. 87 00:06:16,655 --> 00:06:21,413 Three or four months later, I got an email saying that "I am pregnant." 88 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,068 Yeah, and... 89 00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:30,310 I really scared a lot. 90 00:06:30,344 --> 00:06:31,793 And... 91 00:06:34,931 --> 00:06:37,241 -Oh, so you lost track of it. -Yeah, I lost track. 92 00:06:47,137 --> 00:06:50,068 [sighs wearily] It was difficult to handle that. 93 00:06:50,103 --> 00:06:51,586 I tried to forget it. 94 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:09,413 -Well, it's a difficult situation for you. I'm sorry. -[Sarper] Yeah. 95 00:07:15,275 --> 00:07:16,827 How do you feel about this? 96 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,413 I hope he can connect with him. 97 00:07:21,448 --> 00:07:24,793 I think that it's in his heart to do. 98 00:07:24,827 --> 00:07:26,965 That's my wishes too, then. 99 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,931 Yeah, mine too. I hope you get your wish, babe. 100 00:07:31,862 --> 00:07:33,137 [Sarper exhales] We'll see. 101 00:07:39,344 --> 00:07:43,000 I mean, I've a child I didn't see him, I never 102 00:07:43,034 --> 00:07:45,862 have that feeling with him, so,,, 103 00:07:45,896 --> 00:07:48,172 That's why I want a chance to raise one. 104 00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:51,000 I know Shekinah doesn't want. 105 00:07:51,034 --> 00:07:53,275 But I hope I can persuade her. 106 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,206 [banjo music playing] 107 00:08:18,551 --> 00:08:20,172 [Mary] The soy sauce. 108 00:08:20,206 --> 00:08:21,620 -[Brandan] Soy sauce? -Yeah. 109 00:08:21,655 --> 00:08:22,827 [Brandan] Got you. 110 00:08:22,862 --> 00:08:25,034 My mom arrived in the Philippines yesterday, 111 00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:28,758 and things went off to a rocky start. 112 00:08:31,862 --> 00:08:35,136 -I brought you some things. -[Brandan] What... 113 00:08:35,931 --> 00:08:37,068 What have we got here? 114 00:08:37,102 --> 00:08:41,136 Mac and cheese? Can of chili? Awesome. 115 00:08:42,551 --> 00:08:43,827 Thank you, Mom. Appreciate it. 116 00:08:45,379 --> 00:08:48,655 Mary thinks I'm defending my mom and not having her back. 117 00:08:48,689 --> 00:08:54,137 But what I'm trying to do is not have a fight break out between them. 118 00:08:54,172 --> 00:08:56,896 Mary's just about done making some adobo. 119 00:08:56,931 --> 00:08:59,482 -Do you wanna eat outside? -Sure. 120 00:09:01,034 --> 00:09:07,241 So I'm trying to break the ice a little and pull this prank on my mom. 121 00:09:07,275 --> 00:09:09,379 -[Angela] They're like little chickens? -[Brandan] Yeah. 122 00:09:09,413 --> 00:09:12,448 It's not a lot of meat on the bones, but it's really delicious. 123 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:19,586 I having a hard time with the whole fact that they're baby chickens. 124 00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:22,068 -'Cause they're young? -Yeah, they're babies. 125 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,965 I'm not gonna put their body in my mouth. That's all I'm saying. 126 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,310 You'll be happy to know they're not actually chickens. 127 00:09:31,068 --> 00:09:32,413 It's frog. 128 00:09:33,068 --> 00:09:34,275 Are you serious? 129 00:09:34,310 --> 00:09:35,413 -[Mary chuckles] Yeah. -Yeah. It's frog. 130 00:09:35,448 --> 00:09:36,620 Oh, that makes me feel better, actually. 131 00:09:36,655 --> 00:09:37,896 -[Mary] Oh. -[Brandan] Wait, what? 132 00:09:37,931 --> 00:09:39,896 -What? It's frog. -Yeah, it's frog. 133 00:09:39,931 --> 00:09:43,310 I don't care so much about frogs. Now that's not a big deal. 134 00:09:43,344 --> 00:09:46,931 I was so nervous. I thought she's gonna freak out. 135 00:09:46,965 --> 00:09:50,586 And then maybe she'll blame me, not Brandan. 136 00:09:54,068 --> 00:09:55,482 Mm-hmm. 137 00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:57,379 [Brandan] Yeah? You like it? 138 00:09:57,413 --> 00:10:00,379 Mm-hmm, it's good. It tastes like chicken. 139 00:10:02,965 --> 00:10:07,965 But when trying to talk, she's only talk to Brandan. 140 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,620 So I can tell that she's still judging me. 141 00:10:11,655 --> 00:10:14,137 She's still not willing to be okay with me. 142 00:10:17,344 --> 00:10:19,931 [banjo music playing] 143 00:10:26,344 --> 00:10:29,482 Oh, yeah. Right here. Stop. 144 00:10:35,137 --> 00:10:38,931 Okay, so, they have chicken liver, chicken heart, 145 00:10:38,965 --> 00:10:42,137 chicken blood, chicken feet, chicken heads. 146 00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,137 Since my mom liked frog, 147 00:10:45,172 --> 00:10:49,206 I wanted to take her out to go try Filipino street food. 148 00:10:49,827 --> 00:10:51,482 It looks like intestines. 149 00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:52,896 -No, that's this one. -Okay! 150 00:10:53,931 --> 00:10:55,310 [Brandan] That one's actually my favorite. 151 00:10:55,344 --> 00:10:56,758 [Angela speaking] 152 00:10:58,965 --> 00:11:03,896 We're not doing the feet. Or the blood. Or seven of the other pieces. 153 00:11:05,689 --> 00:11:07,827 I really can't believe that Brandan lives here. 154 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:13,965 [Angela] It's good. 155 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,310 -Yeah? -[Angela] Mm-hmm. 156 00:11:15,793 --> 00:11:18,034 I gotta say... 157 00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:24,551 when you were little, this is not where I imagined you would be 158 00:11:24,586 --> 00:11:26,586 -when you're almost 24 years old. -You and me both. 159 00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:28,482 Yeah, you and me both. 160 00:11:28,517 --> 00:11:32,482 And then it just goes to show that you just never know where your life could end up. 161 00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:35,206 -You know what I mean? -Mm-hmm. 162 00:11:35,241 --> 00:11:39,275 Just like I never ever would have imagined in my life that I would become an addict. 163 00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:47,310 [Brandan] I did not think that either. I couldn't believe it. 164 00:11:47,344 --> 00:11:52,310 When I was 14 years old, my siblings, they were five and three years old. 165 00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:58,344 And my mom was starting to disappear from the house 166 00:11:58,379 --> 00:12:00,862 for long periods at a time. 167 00:12:00,896 --> 00:12:02,793 And then I would be left alone with the kids 168 00:12:02,827 --> 00:12:04,379 to take care of them and watch over them. 169 00:12:04,413 --> 00:12:07,551 So, eventually, the DHS comes in, 170 00:12:07,586 --> 00:12:11,620 they take me, my brother, and my sister away. 171 00:12:11,655 --> 00:12:15,241 And that whole time, I was in denial of my mom being a drug addict. 172 00:12:17,034 --> 00:12:18,689 It screwed with me mentally. 173 00:12:19,724 --> 00:12:21,931 It really messed up all of our lives. 174 00:12:24,068 --> 00:12:26,000 I'm really happy that you started recovery 175 00:12:26,034 --> 00:12:28,896 and you're 18 months clean now. 176 00:12:28,931 --> 00:12:31,344 And I'm proud of you for doing that. 177 00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:37,689 The thing about it is you don't just treat addiction by not using. 178 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:42,931 You treat it by creating a life that makes it easier not to. 179 00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:50,379 The only thing that would make it more complete, in a sense, 180 00:12:50,413 --> 00:12:53,206 is the rebuilding of a relationship with you. 181 00:12:54,793 --> 00:12:56,103 Um... 182 00:12:58,655 --> 00:13:02,620 In order to re-establish a good relationship with me again, 183 00:13:03,655 --> 00:13:06,068 you need to connect and bond with Mary. 184 00:13:08,275 --> 00:13:12,310 If all three of us aren't okay, 185 00:13:12,344 --> 00:13:17,862 there's gonna be parts in our child's life that you're gonna miss out on. 186 00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:19,931 And I don't want that. 187 00:13:22,965 --> 00:13:25,275 You know, Mary didn't have her mom. 188 00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:28,517 She never had the type of person that would give her guidance, 189 00:13:28,551 --> 00:13:30,517 and you gotta have her back. 190 00:13:33,655 --> 00:13:35,172 I understand what you're saying. 191 00:13:35,206 --> 00:13:40,000 So I will try to build a healthy relationship with Mary. 192 00:13:41,103 --> 00:13:42,344 I really appreciate that. 193 00:13:45,793 --> 00:13:49,172 And I appreciate that you are willing 194 00:13:49,206 --> 00:13:52,103 to give me a shot at being your mom 195 00:13:52,137 --> 00:13:55,862 even though you are in a position where you are becoming a dad. 196 00:13:55,896 --> 00:13:58,689 Well, even dads need their moms, you know? 197 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,586 [Angela] I believe this is a potential for a fresh start with Brandan. 198 00:14:05,793 --> 00:14:10,206 As to Mary and the toxicity, the jealousy, 199 00:14:10,241 --> 00:14:16,827 I can let that go as long as I see effort for improvement. 200 00:14:16,862 --> 00:14:18,689 If her actions and behaviors 201 00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:22,896 were to continue to reflect the same patterns that she had in the past, 202 00:14:22,931 --> 00:14:24,862 we would have a major problem. 203 00:14:28,379 --> 00:14:29,827 [Holly] I'm a mermaid! 204 00:14:29,862 --> 00:14:31,413 It's been so hard here, 205 00:14:31,448 --> 00:14:32,344 and it'll finally give me 206 00:14:32,379 --> 00:14:33,172 something to do that I love. 207 00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:37,241 You haven't really given it a shot. 208 00:14:37,275 --> 00:14:39,413 I've put more effort into this than you have. I-- 209 00:14:43,827 --> 00:14:45,551 [Armando speaking] 210 00:14:45,586 --> 00:14:47,379 Today, we're meeting with our potential surrogate. 211 00:14:47,413 --> 00:14:49,413 My sister told me, 212 00:14:49,448 --> 00:14:54,344 "You are nuts. How are you going to give a baby?" 213 00:14:54,379 --> 00:14:56,586 [Kenny] We do have some concerns. 214 00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:58,344 We need to know that she understands 215 00:14:58,379 --> 00:15:01,103 everything that comes along with making this decision. 216 00:15:07,413 --> 00:15:09,551 [upbeat music playing] 217 00:15:18,689 --> 00:15:21,551 Babe, a package came for you, I'll put it on the bed. 218 00:15:21,586 --> 00:15:23,206 [Holly] Okay, thank you. 219 00:15:24,586 --> 00:15:28,206 It's been a couple weeks since my mom left. 220 00:15:28,241 --> 00:15:31,068 It's very lonely 'cause I'm used to having a very active life. 221 00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:35,000 Yes. [indistinct] 222 00:15:37,448 --> 00:15:39,344 Hey, baby, come on. I wanna show you something. 223 00:15:39,379 --> 00:15:41,551 -By the pool. -Okay, I'll be there now. 224 00:15:43,793 --> 00:15:44,965 [Holly] I've always loved mermaids 225 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,517 and I've always thought it'd be fun to be one. 226 00:15:46,551 --> 00:15:47,896 I just think it's cool 227 00:15:47,931 --> 00:15:50,517 that there's this whole other make-believe world under the sea, 228 00:15:50,551 --> 00:15:52,103 and we have a swimming pool. 229 00:15:52,137 --> 00:15:55,068 So several weeks ago, I ordered a mermaid tail online. 230 00:15:55,103 --> 00:15:58,068 I thought it would cheer me up and make me feel better about living here. 231 00:16:03,793 --> 00:16:06,413 Who wouldn't want to be a mermaid and wanna swim around all day? 232 00:16:07,172 --> 00:16:08,793 Sounds fun to me. 233 00:16:09,724 --> 00:16:10,758 What's up, babe? 234 00:16:12,586 --> 00:16:14,482 -What the hell? -[both laughing] 235 00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:17,379 [Holly] I'm a mermaid. Don't you love it? 236 00:16:18,068 --> 00:16:19,103 Is your feet in there? 237 00:16:19,827 --> 00:16:21,034 It's my tail. 238 00:16:21,068 --> 00:16:22,862 -Here, come here. -Oh! 239 00:16:22,896 --> 00:16:24,965 [Holly laughing] 240 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,448 What do you think? 241 00:16:28,448 --> 00:16:30,034 [Wayne] Nikki seems to like it. 242 00:16:30,793 --> 00:16:32,482 [Holly] I love it. Look, Nikki. 243 00:16:33,310 --> 00:16:34,482 We're in sync. 244 00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:38,103 [Wayne and Holly chuckle] 245 00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:41,896 I have nothing to do here, and I have my tail, and I can swim in it and... 246 00:16:47,034 --> 00:16:49,931 It's been so hard here, and it'll finally give me something to do that I love. 247 00:16:50,758 --> 00:16:52,068 Has it really been that hard? 248 00:16:52,103 --> 00:16:54,551 Yeah, it has. 249 00:16:56,931 --> 00:16:58,586 I think now that your mom is gone, 250 00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:01,379 maybe you'll have a better mindset about this country. 251 00:17:01,413 --> 00:17:04,172 Your mom's put a lot of thoughts in your head when she was here. 252 00:17:04,205 --> 00:17:06,792 [Holly] This isn't really about my mom, it's more about me. 253 00:17:06,827 --> 00:17:08,862 I haven't really made friends. 254 00:17:08,896 --> 00:17:13,344 I don't think you realize how opposite it is from the life I had before. 255 00:17:13,378 --> 00:17:15,482 I personally think you're not trying hard enough. 256 00:17:17,034 --> 00:17:19,378 [Holly] What could I do to try harder? 257 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,550 I put more effort into this than you have. I-- 258 00:17:24,413 --> 00:17:26,482 Because I'm trying to cheer myself up. 259 00:17:28,068 --> 00:17:30,344 I don't know, make new friends, go out with friends. 260 00:17:30,379 --> 00:17:32,827 How am I gonna make friends? 261 00:17:32,862 --> 00:17:34,206 Well, I've given you some friends, 262 00:17:34,241 --> 00:17:35,931 and you didn't spend time with them, so-- 263 00:17:35,965 --> 00:17:37,241 And you have to have friends 264 00:17:37,275 --> 00:17:38,724 that you have things in common with and that you'd know well. 265 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,172 Well, you don't know what you've got common with them 266 00:17:40,206 --> 00:17:42,172 'cause you haven't spent much time with them. So you wouldn't know. 267 00:17:42,206 --> 00:17:43,310 That what I said, 268 00:17:43,344 --> 00:17:46,103 it's like you're complaining about everything 269 00:17:46,137 --> 00:17:48,034 but you haven't really given it a shot. 270 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,172 I'm trying to express to you how hard this is for me. 271 00:17:50,206 --> 00:17:52,827 I'm not adapting well, I'm not doing well. 272 00:17:53,862 --> 00:17:55,827 I am depressed, I am sad. 273 00:17:55,862 --> 00:17:57,931 Everybody has a breaking point. 274 00:17:57,965 --> 00:18:00,275 I don't know how much I can take. 275 00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:06,896 It was my decision to come here and marry Wayne. 276 00:18:06,931 --> 00:18:10,413 I feel like it's on my shoulders to make it work. 277 00:18:10,448 --> 00:18:15,068 But I'm really scared that I don't know if I can make it work. 278 00:18:16,413 --> 00:18:18,241 If I can't handle living in South Africa, 279 00:18:18,275 --> 00:18:19,724 I don't know what that means for the future, 280 00:18:19,758 --> 00:18:22,448 I don't know what that means for our relationship. 281 00:18:22,482 --> 00:18:26,758 All I'm asking, babe, is you need to just keep trying, you know? 282 00:18:26,793 --> 00:18:29,379 You sure chose this life, you know what I'm saying? With me. 283 00:18:29,413 --> 00:18:31,172 And we're gonna make it work here. 284 00:18:32,758 --> 00:18:33,896 Yeah, I know. 285 00:18:40,413 --> 00:18:42,620 [music playing softly] 286 00:18:58,310 --> 00:19:00,172 -[Armando] Oh, here she is. -Okay. 287 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:02,931 [Armando speaking] 288 00:19:02,965 --> 00:19:04,758 -Good morning. -Good morning. 289 00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:06,965 -Hi, Kenny. -[Kenny] Hi. 290 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,413 Today we're meeting with our potential surrogate Gema. 291 00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:11,655 We actually did meet with her yesterday, 292 00:19:11,689 --> 00:19:16,310 but it was more like a job interview and she seemed really tense. 293 00:19:16,344 --> 00:19:18,896 So we want to talk to her in a more relaxed setting. 294 00:19:18,931 --> 00:19:20,241 Oh, that looks good. 295 00:19:20,275 --> 00:19:21,586 We really like Gema. 296 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:23,275 We like that she's had children, 297 00:19:23,310 --> 00:19:26,310 so she knows what giving birth and having kids is all about. 298 00:19:26,344 --> 00:19:30,241 She's from Mexico, and a big blessing for me is she speaks English. 299 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,413 [all speaking] 300 00:19:33,448 --> 00:19:35,448 [Kenny] But we do have some concerns. 301 00:19:35,482 --> 00:19:37,275 She has never done this before, 302 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:40,137 and surrogacy really isn't that common in Mexico. 303 00:19:40,172 --> 00:19:42,862 We need to know that she understands 304 00:19:42,896 --> 00:19:45,689 everything that comes along with making this decision. 305 00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:50,137 It's been a long journey for us as a whole, 306 00:19:50,172 --> 00:19:55,482 so I do wanna get your thoughts on just the aspect of family 307 00:19:55,517 --> 00:19:59,689 because I have the belief that, in Mexico, 308 00:19:59,724 --> 00:20:02,827 women are judged for doing something like this, surrogacy. 309 00:20:02,862 --> 00:20:05,620 Yeah, the women are judged all the time. 310 00:20:14,137 --> 00:20:16,241 But the ones who... 311 00:20:16,275 --> 00:20:19,310 -Matter. -...matter are okay with this. 312 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:23,275 And the other ones can... fired. 313 00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:24,655 -Take a hike. [laughs] -[Gema] Yeah. 314 00:20:24,689 --> 00:20:29,137 Yeah, 'cause when I started talking about this with my family, 315 00:20:29,172 --> 00:20:32,896 one aunt made a comment, "Oh, my God, I don't know how a lady could do this. 316 00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:35,103 Just be pregnant and give it up." 317 00:20:35,137 --> 00:20:38,793 So these are comments that I hear in my family. 318 00:20:38,827 --> 00:20:44,413 When I speak with my sister, she told me, "You are nuts. 319 00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:50,931 How are you going to give a baby without feeling anything?" 320 00:20:50,965 --> 00:20:53,344 And I said, "No, I will feel something, yeah, 321 00:20:53,379 --> 00:20:59,172 but I'm completely, in my head, 322 00:20:59,206 --> 00:21:01,482 that it won't be mine." 323 00:21:01,517 --> 00:21:05,689 That it is like a gift that I will give you 324 00:21:06,896 --> 00:21:10,034 to have your own family. 325 00:21:10,068 --> 00:21:11,551 [Kenny sniffles] 326 00:21:13,241 --> 00:21:18,000 Oh, man. It's a heavy load, you know? 327 00:21:28,827 --> 00:21:31,241 -It is gonna be hard. -[Gema] Yeah. 328 00:21:31,275 --> 00:21:34,827 [voice shaking] Yeah, I think it will be hard because it's a baby. 329 00:21:34,862 --> 00:21:36,241 It's not easy. 330 00:21:42,517 --> 00:21:47,965 I know that I'm a really loving mother with my daughters, 331 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,379 and I when I was pregnant, 332 00:21:50,413 --> 00:21:55,413 I put music on my belly, I'd read them books, 333 00:21:55,448 --> 00:22:00,758 so I will do the same with the baby. 334 00:22:13,137 --> 00:22:14,896 [exhales] 335 00:22:25,275 --> 00:22:27,379 I guess what makes me emotional 336 00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:29,655 is really just 'cause Hannah lost her mother, 337 00:22:31,034 --> 00:22:34,034 so it feels good that would give it love, you know? 338 00:22:34,068 --> 00:22:37,000 And do all those things that a mother does. 339 00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:43,241 Exactly how she says she was with her children. 340 00:22:53,620 --> 00:22:58,586 We are looking at you as someone we wanna care for and we wanna love, 341 00:22:58,620 --> 00:23:00,896 not just an oven, you know? 342 00:23:00,931 --> 00:23:03,551 That's why we wanna build the connection, have the bond. 343 00:23:05,689 --> 00:23:08,034 -You all right? [chuckles] -Yeah. Just... yeah. 344 00:23:12,655 --> 00:23:14,103 -[Kenny] Yeah. -Thank you. 345 00:23:14,137 --> 00:23:15,379 We feel love for you, too. 346 00:23:20,724 --> 00:23:23,448 [Kenny] I love emotional people, 347 00:23:23,482 --> 00:23:26,448 and I'm getting the feel that she really knows it's going to be hard 348 00:23:26,482 --> 00:23:28,965 and she wants to do good by us. 349 00:23:30,206 --> 00:23:32,724 What a beautiful thing, right? 350 00:23:32,758 --> 00:23:35,275 [Armando] I think she has her heart in the right place 351 00:23:35,310 --> 00:23:38,344 and I can feel her love, and I love that. 352 00:23:38,379 --> 00:23:41,827 Thank you for being so open with us and everything you said today. 353 00:23:41,862 --> 00:23:43,379 It's really gonna help us make a decision. 354 00:23:43,413 --> 00:23:45,689 -[Kenny] Yeah. It won't be long. -Okay. 355 00:23:45,724 --> 00:23:48,275 -Yes. -[Kenny] We'll give you a hug goodbye. 356 00:23:50,034 --> 00:23:51,517 [Gema speaking] 357 00:23:51,551 --> 00:23:53,137 -Wait, we gotta do a three-way hug since it's... -[all laugh] 358 00:23:58,655 --> 00:24:00,379 Do you have any pies available? 359 00:24:00,413 --> 00:24:02,206 -Yes. -Yeah? 360 00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:05,000 We got the first sonogram since she got pregnant. 361 00:24:05,034 --> 00:24:07,586 Whatever the baby's gender is, 362 00:24:07,620 --> 00:24:09,517 one of us is getting a pie in the face. 363 00:24:11,275 --> 00:24:12,275 Ready? 364 00:24:13,103 --> 00:24:15,379 -[gasps] Oh! My... -[laughing] 365 00:24:20,931 --> 00:24:22,758 [banjo music playing] 366 00:24:38,827 --> 00:24:40,344 [Brandan] It's a nice place to eat. 367 00:24:42,758 --> 00:24:45,310 Mary is 24 weeks pregnant, 368 00:24:45,344 --> 00:24:50,413 so earlier today, we got the first sonogram since she got pregnant. 369 00:24:50,448 --> 00:24:56,172 And the doctor hid the baby's gender in a plastic envelope 370 00:24:56,206 --> 00:25:00,103 so my mom can read it to us out loud as a way to include my mom. 371 00:25:00,137 --> 00:25:02,137 Do you have any pies available? 372 00:25:02,172 --> 00:25:03,827 -Yes. -Yeah? 373 00:25:03,862 --> 00:25:09,310 And then I was thinking, "Hey, Mary's hoping for a boy, how about I bet for a girl?" 374 00:25:09,344 --> 00:25:12,206 So if the baby's a boy, 375 00:25:12,241 --> 00:25:13,862 Mary will put a pie in my face. 376 00:25:13,896 --> 00:25:16,551 If the baby's a girl, I put a pie in her face. 377 00:25:16,586 --> 00:25:19,758 Whatever the outcome is, one of us is getting a pie in the face. 378 00:25:21,241 --> 00:25:22,758 So how was hearing the heartbeat? 379 00:25:25,758 --> 00:25:28,413 [Brandan] It's definitely more real. 380 00:25:28,448 --> 00:25:29,689 Seeing that, now I'm like, 381 00:25:29,724 --> 00:25:31,862 "I can't stop thinking about it," if that makes sense. 382 00:25:31,896 --> 00:25:33,034 Yeah. 383 00:25:37,931 --> 00:25:40,517 -God, those motorcycles are loud. -[Angela] Yeah, they are. 384 00:25:44,068 --> 00:25:47,068 So there's some things I wanted to bring up 385 00:25:47,103 --> 00:25:50,000 before we do the gender reveal. 386 00:25:50,034 --> 00:25:53,655 You have now started this family clear across the world. 387 00:25:54,586 --> 00:25:55,862 That... 388 00:25:58,413 --> 00:25:59,827 I'm not... 389 00:26:01,068 --> 00:26:02,551 [voice shaking] I'm not gonna be a part of. 390 00:26:03,551 --> 00:26:04,827 So... 391 00:26:05,931 --> 00:26:07,586 And that is my fault. 392 00:26:10,517 --> 00:26:14,241 But I'm just gonna keep it real here. 393 00:26:15,482 --> 00:26:18,896 You come from 394 00:26:18,931 --> 00:26:23,275 what I believe to be a dysfunctional environment. 395 00:26:23,310 --> 00:26:27,586 You come from a dysfunctional family as well. 396 00:26:29,620 --> 00:26:36,137 As much as I know that you guys love each other, it's not enough 397 00:26:36,172 --> 00:26:43,137 because when you haven't dealt with all the things that you grew up learning, 398 00:26:43,172 --> 00:26:46,137 it just becomes this repeated pattern. 399 00:26:46,172 --> 00:26:50,448 I definitely hear you there and we are trying to work on it. 400 00:26:50,482 --> 00:26:52,896 Because when I was in America, 401 00:26:52,931 --> 00:26:54,896 it was almost a fight everyday. 402 00:26:54,931 --> 00:26:56,275 [Angela speaking] 403 00:26:56,310 --> 00:27:00,241 Right, but here, slowly but surely, we are getting better at it. 404 00:27:00,275 --> 00:27:02,103 That's good. 405 00:27:02,137 --> 00:27:04,551 We are trying to be better as a couple. 406 00:27:04,586 --> 00:27:07,034 Also me, I'm trying to be better myself... 407 00:27:12,517 --> 00:27:16,620 ...because my parents abandoned me, and... 408 00:27:16,655 --> 00:27:18,724 [voice shaking] I'm really scared of abandonment. 409 00:27:19,379 --> 00:27:20,551 [Angela] Yes. 410 00:27:24,241 --> 00:27:30,275 I would really like to see both of you doing individual therapy. 411 00:27:31,379 --> 00:27:33,379 The things that you struggle with, 412 00:27:33,413 --> 00:27:36,862 like the fear of abandonment, over thinking, 413 00:27:36,896 --> 00:27:40,206 Brandan has his own things, you know? 414 00:27:40,241 --> 00:27:43,655 Anger and codependency. 415 00:27:43,689 --> 00:27:48,793 When you guys work on those separately, 416 00:27:48,827 --> 00:27:54,862 I promise you that together you will function better. 417 00:27:59,724 --> 00:28:01,896 [Brandan] I'm more than willing to do that. 418 00:28:01,931 --> 00:28:07,206 And if Mary is willing to commit to therapy alongside, 419 00:28:08,241 --> 00:28:11,827 then that would mean a lot. 420 00:28:11,862 --> 00:28:13,586 [Mary] I'm willing to, and also, 421 00:28:13,620 --> 00:28:21,034 I'm really thankful that you give us advice and it helps me a lot. 422 00:28:21,068 --> 00:28:25,586 And it came from Brandan's mom, so really means a lot to me. 423 00:28:25,620 --> 00:28:30,275 Thank you for that. No one's did that to me before. 424 00:28:33,137 --> 00:28:36,103 [Angela] We did have probably the best communication tonight 425 00:28:36,137 --> 00:28:38,310 that we've had since I've been here. 426 00:28:38,344 --> 00:28:43,620 But I really hope that they do the therapy and the counselling 427 00:28:43,655 --> 00:28:46,551 because I worry for the environment 428 00:28:46,586 --> 00:28:47,793 that the child's gonna grow up in. 429 00:28:49,413 --> 00:28:54,793 Thank you for listening and thank you for considering that. 430 00:28:54,827 --> 00:28:57,103 -Yeah. We'll promise you we'll do that. -[Angela] Okay. 431 00:28:57,137 --> 00:28:58,620 [chuckles] Good. 432 00:29:00,965 --> 00:29:03,068 So, are you ready? 433 00:29:03,103 --> 00:29:03,965 [Brandan] Oh, we're doing this. 434 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,103 I'm so excited! 435 00:29:07,137 --> 00:29:12,586 -Okay. If it's a boy, you're smashing Brandan. -[Mary] Mm-hmm. 436 00:29:12,620 --> 00:29:15,517 And if it's a girl, she gets... 437 00:29:15,551 --> 00:29:17,758 -The pie in the face. -The pie in the face. 438 00:29:17,793 --> 00:29:19,000 Okay. 439 00:29:22,517 --> 00:29:23,689 [Mary chuckling] 440 00:29:25,379 --> 00:29:26,413 [Angela] Ready? 441 00:29:28,275 --> 00:29:31,517 -[Mary gasps] Oh! Oh, my God. -[laughing] 442 00:29:33,482 --> 00:29:35,655 Oh, my gosh, it's a girl. 443 00:29:35,689 --> 00:29:37,103 Oh, it's a girl. 444 00:29:38,689 --> 00:29:40,758 -[Brandan] You know what that means, right? -[Mary] Yeah. 445 00:29:40,793 --> 00:29:42,827 -[Brandan] Ready? -Yeah. Go. 446 00:29:45,344 --> 00:29:47,931 [Angela laughing] 447 00:29:47,965 --> 00:29:51,482 [Mary chuckling] Whoa, that's a lot. 448 00:29:51,517 --> 00:29:53,724 You're gonna eat that-- Oh, no! Oh, hell, no! 449 00:29:53,758 --> 00:29:55,965 [Angela and Mary laughing] 450 00:29:57,758 --> 00:29:58,793 [bleep] you. 451 00:30:00,620 --> 00:30:02,655 -[Mary] It's fair. -[Brandan] That's fair? 452 00:30:03,103 --> 00:30:05,000 [laughter] 453 00:30:11,896 --> 00:30:16,413 Let me remind you that on our first date, we covered this stuff. 454 00:30:16,448 --> 00:30:19,172 I said I don't wanna have kids, and you said, "me neither." 455 00:30:23,310 --> 00:30:26,310 Sarper needs to figure out what's more important to him. 456 00:30:26,344 --> 00:30:29,310 Does he wanna have a child or does he wanna be with me? 457 00:30:35,275 --> 00:30:37,206 [blues music playing] 458 00:30:52,206 --> 00:30:54,034 Babe, your life is getting an upgrade, it's-- 459 00:30:54,068 --> 00:30:57,689 -Yeah, we can call it that, right? -[Shekinah] Yeah. 460 00:30:59,068 --> 00:31:01,206 The bed that we picked out a few days ago 461 00:31:01,241 --> 00:31:05,827 finally got delivered and we will finally get to sleep in a bed together. 462 00:31:05,862 --> 00:31:09,103 We've been doing everything on a couch. 463 00:31:09,137 --> 00:31:14,344 This is gonna really open up the possibilities for our fun in the bedroom. 464 00:31:14,379 --> 00:31:15,586 Wow, wow, wow. 465 00:31:15,620 --> 00:31:17,275 -You don't miss your old bed? -No. 466 00:31:17,310 --> 00:31:19,172 -Promise? -[chuckles] 467 00:31:19,206 --> 00:31:20,827 Delete all the memories on it. 468 00:31:22,655 --> 00:31:23,689 Good. 469 00:31:25,275 --> 00:31:28,103 So, what do you think about my cousins? 470 00:31:29,517 --> 00:31:34,103 They're so sweet. They just had the best energy. 471 00:31:34,137 --> 00:31:38,655 You were so reluctant. That's a little scratching my brain. 472 00:31:38,689 --> 00:31:40,310 -Reluctant? -[Sarper] Mm-hmm. 473 00:31:40,344 --> 00:31:42,827 -About meeting them? -[Sarper speaking] 474 00:31:54,137 --> 00:31:56,758 Is it impossible for you to make a child again? 475 00:32:00,620 --> 00:32:04,241 I mean, is it impossible for me to have a child? 476 00:32:04,275 --> 00:32:06,793 No, no, no, not physically. 477 00:32:06,827 --> 00:32:08,344 -Oh. -Mentally. 478 00:32:11,586 --> 00:32:14,000 -Yeah, I just don't wanna start over. -You're totally closed there. 479 00:32:14,034 --> 00:32:18,000 I raised a child practically by myself... 480 00:32:18,034 --> 00:32:21,103 -I know. -...during my whole 20s and 30s. 481 00:32:21,137 --> 00:32:27,172 And now I'm in my 40s and I feel like I have time to give to you, 482 00:32:27,206 --> 00:32:29,344 and a child takes so much work. 483 00:32:34,206 --> 00:32:37,068 I'm not against everything, that's not a fair statement. 484 00:32:37,103 --> 00:32:39,448 -But really, you are. -[Shekinah] Are you really getting upset? 485 00:32:39,482 --> 00:32:40,724 Yeah. 486 00:32:42,620 --> 00:32:48,344 All your genetics, all your money, everything you have, 487 00:32:48,379 --> 00:32:52,172 you transfer it to him or her and it goes on like this. 488 00:32:52,206 --> 00:32:56,655 Do you know our family name will be end with me. 489 00:32:56,689 --> 00:33:00,655 And it's something different for you, okay, I can say that, I know. 490 00:33:00,689 --> 00:33:04,241 You have already a 16-year-old daughter. 491 00:33:04,275 --> 00:33:08,448 You will maybe have granddaughters and this kind of stuff. 492 00:33:08,482 --> 00:33:09,551 But... 493 00:33:19,310 --> 00:33:21,689 Family legacy is so important for the Turkish culture. 494 00:33:21,724 --> 00:33:23,137 It's a big pressure on me. 495 00:33:23,172 --> 00:33:26,068 I'm the only child of my family, 496 00:33:26,103 --> 00:33:28,482 so that's my responsibility, I always thought of it. 497 00:33:28,517 --> 00:33:30,551 And it was always a scar on me 498 00:33:30,586 --> 00:33:34,758 because I didn't see any possibility to give, but now I found one. 499 00:33:42,620 --> 00:33:44,379 Wait, so this is really important to you? 500 00:33:44,413 --> 00:33:45,896 Like you really wanna have a child? 501 00:33:48,413 --> 00:33:53,000 Let me remind you that on our first date, we covered this stuff. 502 00:33:53,034 --> 00:33:56,310 I said I don't wanna have kids, and you said, "me neither." 503 00:33:59,965 --> 00:34:01,448 [Sarper] I wasn't hoping that. 504 00:34:01,482 --> 00:34:03,827 So you were just saying whatever? You weren't being honest? 505 00:34:03,862 --> 00:34:05,896 I was honest. I didn't want. 506 00:34:05,931 --> 00:34:07,655 Well, you told me you didn't wanna marry or have kids. 507 00:34:07,689 --> 00:34:08,931 I didn't want. I found one. 508 00:34:08,965 --> 00:34:10,310 [Shekinah] One what? 509 00:34:10,344 --> 00:34:14,793 One girl that I can take care... I mean, give my love to. 510 00:34:16,206 --> 00:34:18,034 Okay, so you when you started to get feelings for me, 511 00:34:18,068 --> 00:34:20,034 then you started to want things that you didn't want before? 512 00:34:20,068 --> 00:34:21,344 Is that what you're saying? 513 00:34:21,379 --> 00:34:22,620 Yeah. 514 00:34:23,482 --> 00:34:24,344 [scoffs] 515 00:34:26,172 --> 00:34:27,551 [Shekinah sighs] 516 00:34:27,585 --> 00:34:30,447 I just can't picture myself having another child. 517 00:34:30,482 --> 00:34:31,757 I can't picture it. 518 00:34:31,793 --> 00:34:34,896 I finally found you and we wanna enjoy life together, and-- 519 00:34:38,379 --> 00:34:40,241 -Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm. 520 00:34:40,275 --> 00:34:43,931 How many years, physically, you have chance to give a birth? 521 00:34:43,965 --> 00:34:47,000 Well, I don't wanna give birth ever again. 522 00:34:48,931 --> 00:34:53,000 If you love someone, especially in a relationship, 523 00:34:53,034 --> 00:34:56,275 you want a kid from him or her. 524 00:34:56,310 --> 00:34:58,655 It's so simple. 525 00:34:58,689 --> 00:35:02,931 You have to plan something for the future. 526 00:35:02,965 --> 00:35:08,758 Look at that, I bought a bed for you. I shared a post with a woman. 527 00:35:14,827 --> 00:35:18,206 So, don't close all doors. Nothing is impossible. 528 00:35:20,413 --> 00:35:23,103 I was very upfront with Sarper when I first met him 529 00:35:23,137 --> 00:35:25,586 about not wanting to have more children, 530 00:35:25,620 --> 00:35:29,827 so it's frustrating that now that I've moved here to Turkey to be with him, 531 00:35:29,862 --> 00:35:32,551 he's switching things up on me. 532 00:35:32,586 --> 00:35:35,103 Sarper needs to figure out what's more important to him. 533 00:35:35,137 --> 00:35:38,344 Does he wanna have a child or does he wanna be with me? 534 00:35:38,379 --> 00:35:40,620 Because he cannot do both. 535 00:35:46,827 --> 00:35:48,517 [Holly] I can't take this anymore. 536 00:35:48,551 --> 00:35:51,103 I wanna leave, I wanna go to America. 537 00:35:53,655 --> 00:35:55,413 It hurts that she wants to go back. 538 00:35:58,068 --> 00:36:00,034 So, what, I just go to America? 539 00:36:00,068 --> 00:36:01,965 And you know I can't work there. 540 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,482 [Holly] But that doesn't mean you can never work. 541 00:36:03,517 --> 00:36:05,344 That doesn't mean that that's the never of nevers of Neverland. 542 00:36:11,379 --> 00:36:13,689 [music playing] 543 00:36:23,103 --> 00:36:25,689 [Holly] I've been living in South Africa for four months now 544 00:36:25,724 --> 00:36:28,137 and I'm trying to make it feel like home. 545 00:36:28,172 --> 00:36:31,586 But you have to keep busy, so I paint stupid stuff. 546 00:36:32,379 --> 00:36:34,482 Dressers, furniture. 547 00:36:34,517 --> 00:36:38,482 Anything I can get my hands on, I'll paint, just because I'm so bored. 548 00:36:38,517 --> 00:36:41,689 I have taken Wayne's advice about, 549 00:36:41,724 --> 00:36:45,172 you know, give it a chance and it will grow on you. 550 00:36:45,206 --> 00:36:47,896 And I really don't know what more I can do. 551 00:36:47,931 --> 00:36:50,344 Other than him, I don't have a support system. 552 00:36:50,379 --> 00:36:53,137 I'm less happy, less carefree, 553 00:36:53,172 --> 00:36:55,000 and the stress of things is worse. 554 00:36:57,103 --> 00:36:58,551 Wayne has been working a lot. 555 00:36:59,448 --> 00:37:01,758 Sometimes it's 12 hours, 556 00:37:01,793 --> 00:37:04,103 and I don't like being home alone. 557 00:37:04,137 --> 00:37:06,620 And I don't feel like I'm not getting the support I need. 558 00:37:07,862 --> 00:37:12,448 I'm just to the point where I just wanna go the the US. 559 00:37:12,482 --> 00:37:14,344 I think Wayne has an idea where I'm at, 560 00:37:14,379 --> 00:37:18,655 but he doesn't know that I've 100% pretty much made up my mind at this point. 561 00:37:24,103 --> 00:37:25,241 [Holly exclaims] Ugh! 562 00:37:29,862 --> 00:37:32,344 The load shedding has gotten a lot worse. 563 00:37:32,379 --> 00:37:36,310 I mean, we're lucky if we have five hours of power a day, to be honest. 564 00:37:36,344 --> 00:37:40,137 When the power's out, that's when the robberies happen. 565 00:37:40,172 --> 00:37:44,586 You just feel like you're just waiting there to be victimized, kind of. 566 00:37:44,620 --> 00:37:47,413 I don't wanna be dramatic, but that's how you feel. 567 00:37:49,310 --> 00:37:52,310 There's so many reasons why I don't wanna live here anymore. 568 00:37:52,344 --> 00:37:54,758 This is one of the main ones. 569 00:37:54,793 --> 00:37:56,758 If I don't have to live this way, 570 00:37:56,793 --> 00:37:58,379 it's really frustrating to live this way. 571 00:38:01,310 --> 00:38:02,482 [lock clicks] 572 00:38:06,344 --> 00:38:08,379 [Wayne] Oh, boy. Hey, baby. 573 00:38:08,413 --> 00:38:10,551 -I think we've got power. -I can't take this anymore. 574 00:38:10,586 --> 00:38:12,758 I wanna leave, I wanna go to America. 575 00:38:12,793 --> 00:38:14,379 -Hello. -[Holly] Hi. 576 00:38:14,827 --> 00:38:16,862 [Wayne speaking] 577 00:38:16,896 --> 00:38:19,310 No, but I'm trying to communicate to you how upset I am. 578 00:38:19,344 --> 00:38:22,000 [Wayne] Yeah, but let me just help you first before you fight with me. Please. 579 00:38:22,034 --> 00:38:24,655 I've showed you this a thousand times, how to do it. 580 00:38:24,689 --> 00:38:26,551 [Holly] I don't ever remember you showing me that. 581 00:38:26,586 --> 00:38:30,000 And I'm not fighting with you, I'm trying to tell you how I feel inside. 582 00:38:30,034 --> 00:38:31,965 But babe, I just get here, and you're, like, 583 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,551 start fighting with me about it, first thing. What do you want me to do? 584 00:38:34,586 --> 00:38:37,137 You have to understand how hard this is on me. 585 00:38:37,172 --> 00:38:38,620 I'm sitting in the dark yet again, 586 00:38:38,655 --> 00:38:40,310 you're home late again 'cause you're working-- 587 00:38:44,034 --> 00:38:46,379 [Wayne] Busy working, trying to provide for you. 588 00:38:46,413 --> 00:38:49,172 You think that I wanna come home and hear 589 00:38:49,206 --> 00:38:51,655 about my wife moaning about power? 590 00:38:51,689 --> 00:38:53,000 I'm not moaning about power-- 591 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,379 I'm said. I wanna go to America, and you can come with me. 592 00:39:04,793 --> 00:39:06,068 I don't wanna live this way. 593 00:39:06,103 --> 00:39:08,827 I don't know, it sounded like you wanna go back alone. 594 00:39:08,862 --> 00:39:11,586 That's not what I said. And-- 595 00:39:11,620 --> 00:39:13,448 You didn't say, "We're going to America, we're leaving this place." 596 00:39:13,482 --> 00:39:14,758 I feel like I can't even talk to you 597 00:39:14,793 --> 00:39:16,413 because I know that if I express how I feel, 598 00:39:16,448 --> 00:39:17,689 you're gonna say I'm complaining. 599 00:39:17,724 --> 00:39:21,034 Baby, I'm tired. I've been working the whole entire day. 600 00:39:21,068 --> 00:39:23,517 You can't make excuses. We're having this-- This is happening now. 601 00:39:23,551 --> 00:39:25,862 It's so simple. We can leave, we don't live here. 602 00:39:31,551 --> 00:39:33,068 But you have a wife now. 603 00:39:33,103 --> 00:39:34,275 It's different. 604 00:39:37,241 --> 00:39:39,379 I know that I don't really wanna live in South Africa anymore. 605 00:39:39,413 --> 00:39:40,344 I don't like it. 606 00:39:40,379 --> 00:39:42,965 But I do love Wayne a lot. 607 00:39:44,586 --> 00:39:47,275 So it's putting me in a compromising situation. 608 00:39:48,655 --> 00:39:50,413 So, what, I just go to America? 609 00:39:50,448 --> 00:39:51,896 And you know I can't work there. 610 00:39:51,931 --> 00:39:55,896 You know I can't get salary there until I get my visa or whatever it is. 611 00:39:55,931 --> 00:39:57,103 I mean, I'm the man in the house, 612 00:39:57,137 --> 00:39:58,724 I'm supposed to take care of you. 613 00:39:58,758 --> 00:40:00,103 I'm not gonna let you take care of me. 614 00:40:00,137 --> 00:40:01,931 It just doesn't work that way in my culture. 615 00:40:01,965 --> 00:40:03,620 I don't wanna take care of you. 616 00:40:03,655 --> 00:40:06,689 I wouldn't be attracted to you if you were the kind of man that I had to support. 617 00:40:06,724 --> 00:40:08,862 What I'm saying is that would be a step. 618 00:40:08,896 --> 00:40:10,241 But that doesn't mean you can never work. 619 00:40:10,275 --> 00:40:12,206 That doesn't mean that that's the never of nevers of Neverland. 620 00:40:12,241 --> 00:40:16,344 Why don't you give it some more time in South Africa just to adapt here? 621 00:40:18,103 --> 00:40:19,068 No. 622 00:40:21,103 --> 00:40:24,448 It's crushing my spirit. It's taking away who I am. 623 00:40:24,482 --> 00:40:28,379 I am slowly just breaking away and I'm becoming nothing here. 624 00:40:29,206 --> 00:40:31,241 I can't do this anymore. 625 00:40:31,275 --> 00:40:35,793 I have to leave and I want you to come there and I want you to be with me. 626 00:40:38,413 --> 00:40:41,034 The whole plan with Holly coming down to marry me 627 00:40:41,068 --> 00:40:43,034 was for her to stay with me in South Africa. 628 00:40:43,068 --> 00:40:45,620 Regardless of what happens. 629 00:40:47,482 --> 00:40:49,931 It hurts that she wants to go back. 630 00:41:01,172 --> 00:41:02,827 [suspenseful music playing] 631 00:41:02,862 --> 00:41:04,827 I just don't know if I can go to America. 632 00:41:05,689 --> 00:41:06,655 Like, ever? 633 00:41:08,862 --> 00:41:10,172 [Wayne speaking] 634 00:41:16,620 --> 00:41:19,827 [Shekinah] Next time on 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way... 635 00:41:23,310 --> 00:41:26,655 [Kimberly] Why do we bring that in the kitchen? 636 00:41:28,448 --> 00:41:30,586 What the [bleep]? 637 00:41:30,620 --> 00:41:33,413 I don't want my house to smell like a petting zoo. 638 00:41:33,448 --> 00:41:35,000 [Tejaswi's mom speaking] 639 00:41:39,275 --> 00:41:41,482 [Daniele] I don't think we've solved all of our problems, 640 00:41:41,517 --> 00:41:42,689 but we're trying to move forward. 641 00:41:47,344 --> 00:41:50,172 [Daniele speaking] 642 00:41:54,793 --> 00:41:56,068 [sighs] 643 00:41:57,620 --> 00:41:59,862 [Angela] Brandan told me where to find you. 644 00:41:59,896 --> 00:42:02,310 Brandan and I are supposed to get married tomorrow, 645 00:42:02,344 --> 00:42:06,827 but this morning we got a huge fight over money. 646 00:42:06,862 --> 00:42:09,896 Right now, I'm 50-50 over marrying Brandan 647 00:42:09,931 --> 00:42:13,448 because we don't have a plan for our future. 648 00:42:13,482 --> 00:42:15,172 Yeah, you don't. 649 00:42:15,206 --> 00:42:19,689 When you picture your life, can you imagine raising this baby without him? 650 00:42:27,551 --> 00:42:29,793 [Shekinah] You sound like a little spoiled brat right now. 651 00:42:29,827 --> 00:42:31,793 This is a [bleep] up conversation, 652 00:42:31,827 --> 00:42:33,137 and I'm unsubscribing. 653 00:42:33,172 --> 00:42:34,034 [Sarper] Thank you so much.