This season on 90-Day Fiance: The Other Way.
This is my entire life in 11 suitcases.
I'm moving to Colombia to marry the love of my life.
Isabel's worth it a 100%.
You tuck your hair all in.
Life in Egypt is hard,
but, you know, love conquers all.
Yee-haw!
Being in Morocco with Osama,
it makes me feel like I'm young again.
Everybody thinks I'm crazy, moving to Colombia
to be with the woman I've never met.
Maybe I am. I don't care.
Oh, my gosh! You're really good with your hands.
I'm good with other things also.
I have a track record of falling for the wrong guys.
But then I met Rishi.
It's wiggly.
That can't be good.
Bugs. Bugs.
I moved mountains to come over here.
Now you're telling me you're not gonna marry me?
You lied to me.
I just keep saying over and over,
just be honest with me.
You're a toxic human.
You don't want me anymore.
Because I won't wear the clothes you want? you.
Find somebody else to pay your bills!
Get away!
She is crazy. Do you look?
No mail.
My name is Kris.
I'm from Haleyville, Alabama.
I'm 40 going on 20
'cause that's how I feel.
Um, I feel like I'm 20.
And I look like it, too.
I have tons of onesies.
Unicorn, of course, is my favorite.
Haleyville is a small town of 3,000 people
it's considered the bible belt.
People are very, very committed to the churches.
If you aren't exactly like them, you're shunned.
I've always loved dressing up in costumes.
Because I can actually be more of myself in a costume,
than I could in my everyday life.
I have two children.
And I have been married twice.
They both were not very long marriages.
I never was happy in my relationships.
So I raised my kids
as a single mother for a lot of years.
After my son graduated high school,
I've really wanted to find
that connection that I've always yearned for.
So I decided to go online.
This crazy ad for this
international dating website popped up.
And for some...
reason, just...
clicked on it, and...
I have a soul mate from it.
Just so happens to be a woman.
My girlfriend's name is Jeymi.
She is Venezuelan.
But she lives in Bogota, Colombia.
I was seeking out women
who have been living the same type of life in hiding.
She is my first serious relationship with a woman.
Hi, love. I miss you.
I love you so much, baby.
And I've always considered myself bisexual.
But I've always been attracted to women more.
Same sex relationships are nowhere near accepted
in the small towns in the south,
especially in Haleyville, Alabama.
So I would sneak off to Birmingham,
which is an hour and a half from where I live,
to go to a gay bar.
'Cause I knew there wasn't anybody there that knew me,
you know, I knew I wasn't gonna get in trouble.
I've only had a couple of relationships with females.
And I don't really call them relationships.
We were intimate. It was just that...
I never went out in public with them...
because it was embedded in me at a very young age,
you know, this is wrong. This is wrong.
And... my fear kept me
miserable for years. And I'm finally happy,
and I would not change it for anything.
Oh, yes, well, I'm trying to get all my dishes together.
Yard sale-ing it up.
Jeymi and I have been in this long distance
relationship for one year.
And we haven't met in person yet.
Our relationship has entirely been over the phone.
So let's put all these cake things together.
I've waited 40 years
to be openly in a relationship with a female.
I don't wanna wait any longer.
So I have decided to move to Bogota,
and I leave in one week.
Have tons and tons of cake pans.
Calling Mr. Beefcake.
Yeah.
Who doesn't want a stud muffin to eat on.
Well, hello, babies.
I think we got enough stuff.
I am currently living in my mom's house
with my two children.
What y'all think? Y'all think people will like my weird taste?
I was about to say your taste is unique.
I got pregnant at 16,
the very first time I had an intimate relationship.
I definitely think we got enough stuff out here to sell something.
I've lived for my children,
but now it's time for me to have my own life.
All right.
Now, we just have to sit and wait.
Luckily, my kids are...
very open to my relationship,
but they are still very nervous about me moving.
Tell me, what you're gonna miss the most
about your fabulous mother?
- Nothing. - All right.
But, uh, I do... do worry about...
you know, you being over there.
How many days is it between
when you actually arrive and when you get married?
Huh... nine days.
Even though Jeymi and I have never met in person,
Jeymi and I will be getting married
nine days after I arrive in Colombia.
That's definitely gonna be wild.
Not something I'd do.
We both wanted to get married as soon as possible.
And this was the first date the venue had...
I'm not nervous at all about...
doing what everybody else thinks is crazy.
What if... what if you don't like the way she sleeps?
Or the way that she... she does stuff, you know.
And then you're like, stuck,
'cause you don't know these things about her.
I get where you coming from on that.
But, I know in my heart that
I want to have her by my side.
Almost lost her to Covid.
You know, and I mean... she was on death door.
Six months ago...
Jeymi got Covid.
And she was hospitalized.
I knew from that moment...
that I was coming to her,
and I was gonna do whatever I had to to go be with her.
I wasn't gonna wait...
for us to do paperwork
for whatever we needed to do for her to come here.
I knew I was gonna go there to be with her.
I'm at a point where...
I wanna follow my heart.
Because if I don't, I will regret it
the rest of my life.
It's very worrisome for her to get married within nine days.
With someone that she's never even met in person
or knows well enough to...
in my opinion to trust them wholeheartedly.
- Does seem, like... - Crazy.
...a fairytale story.
I gotta follow my heart on this one, you know, I just...
I think that's where we're different.
I'm not much of an emotional person,
so I just do the statistics behind everything and...
statistics don't look great on my end.
This may seem like a giant leap of faith to everybody else.
But it's not to me.
It feels like, it's what I'm supposed to be doing.
I almost lost her once.
I'm not going to risk losing her again.
Sometimes...
it's worth the risk.
Bigger the risk...
can end up being a big reward, you know.
Or it could be a disaster.
The.
My name is Daniele.
I'm 42 years old, and I live in the Big Apple.
I have a love-hate relationship with New York.
I feel like New York is a toxic boyfriend.
You can't get away from him, you love him so much.
But you know that he's making your life worse.
Can I have a large matcha latte please with oat milk?
- Yeah, sure. - Thank you.
I love the energy. I love the people here.
I love the access to good skin care.
- Do you want it iced or hot? - Hot.
But I'm also frustrated by the traffic.
I'm frustrated by how dirty it is.
I'm frustrated by how expensive it is.
- This is a large? - Oh, yes.
Like everything is a struggle.
Yo, bike lane.
I have lived here for 15 years,
and it's been hard the entire time I've been here.
I'm just so tired of the New York city grind,
and having to work so hard to just squeak by.
Press into the mat...
really feeling your back open up.
I'm a high-school history teacher,
and I also have a side hustle,
running a yoga and wellness business.
Press into your hands so that all parts of your fingers
are pressing into the mat evenly.
I became a single mom at 21.
I got married at 26, but we split up six months later.
I've had two live-in boyfriends since then,
and neither of them worked out, so,
I even swore off dating for a couple of years.
When you're ready, you can open your eyes.
About a year ago,
I decided I was ready for love again.
I decided to take a trip to the Dominican Republic...
And that's where I met Yohan, my prince charming.
Yohan is 32 years old, and he was a personal trainer
at the hotel that I was staying at.
And he was absolutely beautiful.
We saw each other from across the lobby.
When I saw him, the first I said was,
"I'm going to marry this man."
Like, that's the one. And I remember pointing.
We could not be more different humans,
he's ten years younger than me.
He lives in another country.
He speaks another language.
And we literally can't see eye to eye
because there's like a two-foot height difference.
Like, he's so big and I'm so little.
We spent a couple of days together
in the Dominican Republic before I had to go back home.
Six weeks later I decided to go back and see him.
That first morning back he proposed.
I knew this was the person I was supposed to marry.
Five months later,
I returned to Dominican Republic to marry Yohan.
But Yohan and I had a lot of challenges that we faced.
I need to clear the energy of this room.
I practice Ifa, which is an African spiritual tradition.
But Yohan is an Evangelical Christian,
and he really doesn't understand my spiritual beliefs.
Come here.
I don't know where you've been.
We struggled with our finances.
I really could kill you.
Yohan ate, uh, $200 worth of peanuts.
I don't really know how that's possible.
Yohan doesn't even take his wallet out if I'm around,
He just expects that if we buy something
I'm going to pay for it.
But the biggest issue we face is where we're going to live.
So, why are we here?
He really wants to come to New York,
he doesn't stay here. I would prefer to come here.
Despite all of that, we're still got married.
Divine light in me honors the divine light in each of you.
Thank you.
I would've loved to stay with Yohan
in Dominican Republic after our wedding,
but it wasn't an option for me,
I had to go back to my job.
Thank you for coming to class.
- Thank you for having it. - It was lovely.
Um, I just wanted to let you know
that was my last class.
I didn't wanna say it in the whole group,
because I don't want people to freak out.
- What? - Why?
Um, yeah, I have like chills saying this right now.
Um, I'm moving to the Dominican Republic.
- Daniele. - I know.
- Really?
- Yeah. - Wow, that's a lot.
That's a lot.
Yohan would really love to move to the U.S.
but it's gonna take a while for him to get a visa.
And I don't want to maintain this
long distance relationship.
So I'm moving to the Dominican Republic.
You're actually, actually moving?
I'm actually, actually moving.
My husband's there and I just...
I don't want to be separated from him anymore.
Oh... let me get this straight.
You met a man while on vacation.
You spent a couple of days with him, got engaged.
Are now married,
and you're leaving everything to go be with him.
That is accurate.
That's an accurate statement.
As you repeat it back to me it sounds really crazy,
but it doesn't feel crazy to my body.
Just a little, just a touch.
I'm a little skeptical.
The fact that they only spent a couple of days together,
and then he proposed
and then they got married so quickly.
It just makes me a little nervous, and afraid.
Have you ever heard... of the term...
I have.
As soon as I met Yohan I told one of my friends,
he's like, "Oh, my God you're bringing home a Sanky Panky."
I'm afraid that he's a Sanky Panky.
A Sanky Panky is a man who works in a resort
and is looking for a tourist to come and, you know,
provide them with money and goods and visas,
and take care of them and their families.
That's my biggest fear.
That's a huge leap of faith, Daniele.
- Yeah. - Are you ready?
Um, I don't know.
I'm excited for you. I'm so happy for you,
but I'm scared.
I am taking a big risk for the future that I want.
I'm giving up my career, I'm giving up my home.
But I am confident that I'm making the right decision.
Gonna miss you.
Gonna miss our classes together.
I ma gonna miss you guys so much.
You have no idea.
Oh... you're making me cry.
Piggy, piggy, piggy.
It's hard to pinpoint...
exactly what made me fall for Rishi.
But I knew he was the one.
And within a month of us meeting, he proposed.
Good boy.
I'm happy for you, bro.
The best for you in Colombia.
I will be coming to that bachelor party.
I'm moving to Colombia in under a week,
to marry the love of my life, Isabel.
Her parents, they love me so much.
I feel so bad because it's like...
- You feel you're hiding something from them. - I know.
Exactly.
Organic coconut oil.
Okay.
My name is Rishi.
I'm 32 years old, and I'm from Jaipur, India.
Hold the tire like this and up.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You can do it. Whoa.
Yeah. Quick, quick.
Superb. Superb.
People in my gym told me every time that
you have the potential and the good face
with a good body to be model.
It was not my dream.
People wanted from me and they pushed me,
and I tried it once and it's boom.
Hold yourself.
Yeah.
Very good.
Being a model and a fitness trainer
I have a lot of attention from the women.
- Feeling exhausted? - Yeah.
Swing.
Just swing.
Use your glutes.
And that is how I met my fiance Jen.
Y'all are hungry.
I'm Jen.
And I'm 46 years old, and I live in Stilwell, Oklahoma.
Let's go! Let's go.
I am staying on my family's farm,
with my mom and my brother Charles,
and my sister in-law Tara.
Come on, piggy!
Hey! Come on!
Piggy, piggy, piggy.
Good boy.
I am a bit of a nomad.
I lived in New Orleans,
until I graduated from high school.
Then I lived in about five or six major cities.
His tusks are getting big.
I'm not gonna do the 2.0 kids,
and live in a house in the suburbs.
That's just not me.
Oh, I just stepped in the big pile.
I have a track record of falling for the wrong guys.
I would choose guys who were good looking,
and very charismatic,
but in terms of a long term partner...
they were not what I needed.
And then I met Rishi.
Rishi is 32 years old,
and he's a personal trainer and model.
I know. Oh, my gosh,
it's sounds... it's such a cliche.
But I met Rishi in a hotel lobby
while I was on a solo trip to India.
He was at the hotel for a modelling job.
We just started talking.
And he started showing me modelling photos.
And I just immediately went to... hard pass.
I was not interested in him at all.
I thought he was kind of...
a douchebag, for a lack of a better way to say it.
But a couple days later
we started hanging out as friends.
We saw each other four or five times.
And it's hard to pinpoint
exactly what made me fall for Rishi.
But I don't know, I just...
I knew he was the one.
Aw, yeah. Do that again.
And within a month of us meeting, he proposed.
It was completely out of the blue.
We hadn't discussed the future,
we hadn't discussed me leaving or staying,
or anything like that.
But I did not hesitate at all before saying yes.
It just felt right.
I'm gonna get some, probably some coffee.
- Do you want coffee or tea? - Uh, tea is good.
All right, I'll be right back.
After Rishi and I got engaged, I left India,
but planned on moving there as soon as possible.
Unfortunately Covid hit,
and I haven't seen Rishi since.
All right.
After waiting two years for the border to open,
I'm finally moving to India in one week.
But I think my brother feels like it's huge mistake.
And just one of the many mistakes that I've made
over the course of my life.
Did you get everything done for today?
I'm waiting to... weather to clear up so I can weld.
So I know that you had expressed some concern before
about me moving.
I feel like I'm finally...
in a place where I found somebody that
I'm ready to stay somewhere with.
I really love this guys and...
What do you mean?
You're not concerned that he's tried to...
dodge you, contacting you.
I seem to recall you talking about
- him not responding... - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I did. I went through some insecurity
at the beginning when we were apart.
You're not wrong about that.
After I first moved back to the States,
I kind of spun out a couple times,
if he didn't call me, like at a certain time.
I've thought the relationship is over and...
I've sent him a couple of videos...
I'd love to be wrong about this, but...
I just have a feeling...
I have a feeling that you're distancing yourself,
and that maybe you're not all in.
Oh, I'll always love you.
You're like, my first love.
Um, but I can let go.
Because I have to love myself and...
I don't like feeling like I'm...
chasing you.
He didn't ghost me or anything but the contact wasn't
as consistent as it was.
And so, we definitely went through a period
where I... I've had a lot of doubts.
Jennifer, I don't know
that you've spent enough time.
How many total days have you spent with him?
So, we met and I spent...
like, roughly around 45 days with him and...
Two months, is that what we're talking about?
- Yeah, a little less than two months. - Whooo!
It seems like a lot of risk to go to another country.
You know, you have more support system
that works on your benefit here,
but you're choosing to
make it difficult on yourself.
You know, that does worry me sometimes because
this is like where I come when I'm upset.
This is one of your escape places.
Yeah.
And so...
Now, you'll be in India with nowhere to go.
I don't really know anything about Rishi
other than he does some kind of modeling,
and he's into physical fitness,
which doesn't say anything to me about his character.
Jen definitely does not
pick the right men historically, or hasn't.
Being on the other side of the world,
having a track record that she does,
I think it's a big risk.
I will admit, I have not had the best
compass for finding the right men.
I don't think that's the case this time.
I didn't really know what I wanted
in a relationship
until I met Rishi.
His whole persona and just his energy
is very different
than anyone I've ever dated.
But at the same time,
I have to admit, I do have doubts.
What if I'm wrong
and what if this is another mistake?
I'm gonna keep an open mind,
let me just say that.
I'll keep an open mind, but I'm skeptical.
But we'll see.
We're gonna make lots of penises.
Penis.
You can see, it's already starting to puff up.
I created a brand.
It is underwear
that already have a bulge in them.
Bada-bing bada-boom, you have a bulge right there.
We're gonna make lots of penises.
Penis.
So welcome to my cooking show.
I'm gonna make a penis forms.
Once I feel it getting thicker,
then I know it's ready.
And then I just pour it in.
My name is Gabriel.
I'm 32 years old
and I'm from Margate, Florida.
I created a brand called Get More Proud wear,
it is underwear for female-to-male transgender people
who have not had their bottom surgery yet,
which is swapping out what genitalia you have.
So my underwear, they already have a bulge in them.
If you look at a guy's crotch wearing shorts,
you're not going to see a bulge, barely ever.
But if you're a trans guy,
just knowing that there's nothing there
and there's nothing under, it's...
it sucks.
So a trans person,
female to male, they have to wear
a packer, which is like a fake limp penis.
And then they have to wear a harness to hold it in place
and they have to put their underwear on.
And that is a lot of work and it's heavy.
And then, you can see, it's already starting to puff up.
I came up with the idea for my business because
packers fall out of pants.
One day, when I was younger,
I was actually swimming,
and lo and behold, guess what?
I am swimming this way
and my sock is swimming that way.
And I'm like, "Oh, crap."
So I'm just like, "Oh, that's not mine."
I'm like, I'm not... we're not doing this today.
And ta-da!
It's nice and right.
I love the feedback that I get from customers.
A lot of people, they'll write to me saying,
"I love your underwear so much,
"you make me so much more confident."
The final product looks like this. It has
a bulge in it.
Bada-bing bada-boom, you have, like,
a bulge right there.
Like, I actually made a product that
people wear on a regular basis.
Sometimes, not all of them come out.
Which sucks, because this...
foam is very, very expensive.
I make the packers myself
and I sew them into the underwear,
but I do get the underwear manufactured.
About a year ago, I went to Columbia
to look for a new supplier.
While I was in Colombia looking for somebody to...
sell my under pants, I met Isabel.
We met at a mutual friend's house,
and I was like, "Dang, girl, she's fine."
Like, she is so beautiful that I'm like...
like my heart is melting.
We definitely had an immediate chemistry.
Like, I felt like our heart was like a boom,
like there was a string, you know it was like,
you don't have to say anything but it's like you're...
you feel like your chest just wants to be like...
all the way to them.
That's how exactly how I felt.
That night we went out...
we was kissing, we was dancing,
we was hugging, it was a great night.
And Isabel told me that she didn't have sex
on the first night. Which, I was kind of relieved because...
she did not know that I was trans.
Today's gonna be a fun day.
I'm going to have a one-man pride parade.
Whoo! Let's go, baby!
I'm trans. Once upon a time I was a girl,
and... now I'm a whole man.
A whole man, 'cause I already got my surgery, yeah.
Yes!
It's what I'm talking about, big daddy.
Big daddy Gabe.
Yes, yes, yes!
That's what I'm talking about.
I love doing my parades.
I do them when I feel prideful.
I've been doing it for two years now.
Happy pride month!
I first started the one-man flash pride parade
because Covid locked down everything.
All of the pride parades, all the festivals,
they were now cancelled.
And I felt like,
people just needed a pick-me-up, you know,
something to smile about.
Yes! That's what I'm talking about!
It's a very hard life being trans.
It's not like, one day you just wake up, you're like,
"Oh, you know what, I'm trans."
No, it's a feeling that you feel you're entire life.
When I was younger, I want to say
in... kindergarten.
My cousin had a friend that dressed like a boy.
Once I found out that, you know,
girls can wear boy clothes.
I started with basketball shorts.
And I just wore basketball shorts every single day.
When I was 16 years old, I came out as lesbian.
Because I didn't know that you can change your gender.
I didn't know anything like that.
All I know was, "Oh, I feel like a boy."
But you know what? I date girls.
Oh, um... that...
when I was little that's what I thought it was, you know.
And then when I was 22 years old,
I saw a video, and this guy was transitioning,
he used to put up videos about that.
And so I was like, "Wow, that's crazy."
So I watched all his videos in like,
back-to-back in like, that whole night.
After that I was like, "All right. I gotta do this."
I knew. Like I didn't have no doubts in my mind.
There isn't a written rule or unwritten rule
when it comes to tell somebody,
even like somebody that you're dating.
But the morning after I met Isabel,
I'm like, "Oh, I have to tell her. I have to tell her."
So, I ended up telling her through text messages...
and she tells me,
"It's okay, 'cause I just see you as a man."
And at that point I was like,
oh, yes, like, this is like, it couldn't have worked out
in my favor like any better.
A couple months after we met
I started renting an apartment in Medellin, Colombia.
And that's when Isabel
moved out of her family's house and in with me in Medellin.
I've been going back and forth ever since,
but now I'm gonna move there permanently.
And I'm proposing to her
because I cannot be away from this woman.
I love Isabel.
Hey, yo, Kion.
- Yo! What is up, bro? - Kion, what are you doing?
- Hi, hi, hi! - Why you on my block?
One-man parade.
Kion is my best friend.
Yo, waasup?
I met him a couple of years ago,
from a transgender support group.
- Happy pride! - Happy pride!
- Are you hungry? 'cause I'm hungry. - Yes!
He loves the idea of my parades,
so sometimes he decides to join.
I feel a little naked out here, ain't gonna lie.
I'm letting your legacy live on.
- There you go. - A one-man parade,
'cause somebody decided to really go to Colombia.
I'm making it official, bro, like, my sewing machines,
everything is coming with me now.
- Here you go, guys. - Thank you, thank you so much.
I'm happy for you. As long as you happy, I'm happy.
I'm gonna have to come and...
come down there for the one-man parade...
So, how is it out there?
They... they're trans friendly, like,
you know, especially with transitioning going
- to a whole another country. - For sure.
It's like, I'm not the only trans person over there,
in Colombia, not at all.
You've met other guys?
Well, I never meet any guys here. You...
- Try go to Colombia to replace me? - Whoa, whoa...
I'm gonna... you got a best friend that will fly down there,
cause I will come outside, no one taking my place.
No, no. I'm telling you, even down here,
what you see more trans men or trans women?
- Trans women. - They're like... everywhere.
It's like the same thing in Colombia like...
But you know, at the same time you can't clock us,
so it's not like...
Exactly. Exactly.
Is that one of the brother's of brotherhood?
- Exactly. - Oh, no.
I'm more than happy for him that he's going to Colombia,
but at the same time,
I just wanna make sure he's okay.
He's being, you know what I'm saying,
accepted as who he is.
He's not being mistreated,
being anything of the sort,
even if somebody finds out his situation.
So what about like, the family, you around?
Any questions, anything like that?
Her mom and dad, they don't know.
And I'm trying to marry their daughter.
So, like, what would you do? And how would you phrase it?
Do you really want her parents to know that?
- Yeah, they need to know. - It's really bothering you?
They gotta know 'cause they accepted me like...
like, they're... they love me... they love me so much.
and I feel like, every time I see them
I'm like damn, I feel so bad, 'cause it's like...
- You feel you're hiding something from them? - They need to know. Exactly.
I don't make a point to tell everybody that I'm trans.
I even have friends that like,
some of them don't know.
But with her parents I feel like it's different
because I'm becoming a part of this family now.
When we get married, they're now my family.
I don't wanna have any secrets,
and I don't want them to find out from somebody else.
Do I tell them I'm trans first,
or do I ask him to marry is daughter?
So the point of you asking for his permission
let him know he accepts you as a whole.
So let him know...
- Listen, I'm gonna let you know about me. - Before or after?
No, let him know before.
He's giving you his blessings to marry his child.
So let him know, "Listen, this is what I've got going on with me."
You know what I'm saying, "I want you to still
accept me as who I am."
You think it should be like in one conversation?
Yes. Of course. Of course.
I understand Gabe's fear of telling them that
we're a person of trans experience,
because you can't control what people think
or how people feel.
You never know what the consequences are.
I should just do it all in one like,
I wanna marry your daughter, but this is who I am before,
and I don't wanna lie to you, I don't wanna hide anything.
Yeah.
I'm very worried about me coming out to her family,
and them rejecting me,
because Isabel is very, very close with her family.
I've given up everything in the States to be with her.
And if her family doesn't approve of this relationship,
I don't know how it'll affect my relationship with Isabel,
and that is the most scariest part of this whole thing.
Well, I'm happy for you, bro.
The best for you in Colombia,
I will be seeing you.
I will be coming to that bachelor party.
Congratulations.
You were fantasizing about this life
you're gonna have in DR,
how are you gonna afford it?
I'm gonna manifest it.
She wants to leave the chaos of New York City
but I think she's walking into chaos
and she doesn't even realize it.
Life is more than just sundresses,
and walking barefoot on the beach.
Before I move I have to finish off the school year.
But I'm going to Dominican Republic next week.
So that I can get everything lined up for my move.
- Hi! - Ooh!
What's wrong with you? Oh, my...
Who enters like that?
Because I'm travelling so much back and forth
to the Dominican Republic I rarely have time
to catch up with my friends.
Based on the last time I spoke to Lizzette and Sandra,
I'm sure they're gonna have a lot of questions.
I think we're getting married next week.
No! No, no, no...
- No, no, no. - What is she so happy about?
- Hello, there. - Hi.
Some bread.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Can I ask you a question?
So what's the deal? Are you...
Is he coming here? Are you going there?
Like, what's the...
So I'm going down to DR a week.
and then use this trip to set up all the logistics.
And I'm moving there, like, permanently.
Okay, so the idea is you're giving up your apartment,
you're getting rid of all your stuff,
and you're bringing one...
To DR...
and this is it.
- Forever. - Yeah.
What are you gonna do there?
I like to be at the beach, you know me.
- Okay... - We know you like to be at the beach
- but not forever. - You gonna live a life at the beach?
And financially you're gonna be doing...
I'll eat mangoes.
At the beach forever.
You can't tell me that the beach is gonna be
that fulfilling every single day.
I can teach yoga class on the beach.
- I can... - That's one day, okay, the other six days?
I can teach my Zoom classes online,
I can do lots of things.
I mean, when I'm there I have a great time!
- Because you're on vacation. - You're on vacation.
It's not living there.
Can we focus here?
You were fantasizing about this life
you're gonna have in DR,
- how are you going to afford it? - Pay for it.
How?
I'm gonna manifest it.
Daniele's answer is, "I will manifest it."
That is not how I live.
She wants to leave the chaos of New York City,
but I think she's walking into chaos
- and she doesn't even realize it. - Mm.
Marrying Yohan is one thing,
but she's giving up everything to go over there.
Everything.
And I don't know if she's fully grasped
what that means.
This time you're going for real,
you're not going to vacation.
You have to see what life, the ins and out of...
you know, life with Yohan,
in the Dominican Republic.
Life is more than just sundresses
and walking barefoot on the beach, right?
Just prepare yourself.
All the concerns that my friends are raising are...
in the what-if category.
And I don't really worry about the what-ifs.
I just want to enjoy my life with
the love of my life in a slower pace
near the ocean.
What does Yohan think?
So, Yohan thinks that
we're gonna live in the Dominican Republic
until this visa interview is scheduled
and his visa is approved.
And then we're gonna come to the U.S.
when he gets his green card,
that's like the plan in his head.
I haven't applied for the visa yet.
Does he know that?
Yes. I think so.
- Like, he has... - No, no. Does he know that?
I... yes. He knows that.
I think he knows that.
No, no. I think so it's not a yes.
I haven't said to him, "By the way,
I haven't applied for the visa yet,"
but I also haven't said to him,
"Oh, I just applied for the visa."
My plan is to just keep it moving, and...
unless he fights.
I mean, if I don't apply for a visa, he can't go anywhere.
So I could just hold on to this marriage certificate,
and never apply for the visa.
Oh, that's a great way to start a marriage.
I did tell Yohan that I would apply for the spousal visa
so that we can live in the U.S.
But the more times I go back and forth
to the Dominican Republic,
the more times I realize,
that I don't want to be in New York.
Everything is three times more expensive
than it is anywhere else,
Everything is really hard,
much harder than it needs to be
and I'm kind of over at this point.
Like, have you thought about what you're giving up?
By leaving New York City and moving...
to Dominican Republic.
You're giving up community, your friendships,
you're giving up your pension.
Yeah, that's... that's another thing,
'cause I... I had a pension consultation,
and they told me that if I stayed one more year,
it's like this difference between like,
$15,000 a year or more.
So why is that not even...
why is that not on the table?
Because...
Like an extra $15,000 a year when I'm 63,
isn't gonna be that meaningful to me.
And that's the only place he can be with me right now,
is there.
This is such a big deal.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
This is such a big deal.
Yeah.
I know that my friends think
that I'm taking a really big chance,
making this move and sacrificing
all these things for Yohan, but he's the love of my life,
so, of course, I'm gonna...
do whatever I can to be with him.
I just hope I'm right because this isn't a decision
that I can just snap my fingers and undo.
Obviously, we wish you the best, but...
you know, the whole life on the beach
eating mangoes, like... that's...
That sounds like a cartoon to me.
I am a lesbian today, tomorrow,
and the next weekend, and the next year,
and the next month. I'm sorry, I'm lesbian.
Uh, Venezuela have a problem for gay relationships.
In Colombia, the people is more open...
for the idea.
You are lesbian or you are gay.
So I feel comfortable in Colombia.
I am a lesbian today, tomorrow,
and the next weekend, and the next year,
and the next month.
I'm sorry I'm lesbian.
Bye. Ciao-ciao.
In my past, I have boyfriends...
but...
I feel I have...
bad in me.
This is not normal.
Gracias.
Yeah, she's pretty. I like it.
Kris is very, very special for me.
Her smile is so beautiful...
and say, "Oh, my God."
She is amazing.
She is everything I want in one person.
Saying, "Really?" She's saying, "Yes."
And feel happiness
is amazing feeling.
And finally we meet in person.
Hi, baby.
I know Maria and Andrea eight years.
Hi!
I have to somehow explain to Yohan that
we're never going to New York.
We have a lot to do.
Today, I'm going to the DR,
and this is my final trip before my official move.
I'm so excited.
Yohan and I have a lot things to iron out when I'm there this week.
We have to figure out where exactly we wanna live.
How are we gonna manage our finances.
What are we gonna do about jobs and children.
But most importantly,
Yohan thinks that we're gonna move to the United States,
and live there permanently, and that we're just waiting for his visa.
I'm a little apprehensive to tell Yohan that's not...
an accurate belief because I have no plans
on ever coming back to New York.
My name is Yohan.
I'm from Dominican Republic.
I am... personal trainer.
I have.
I have... 30... 32...
This is for you.
Oh, thank you!
I feel like I don't wanna come home
I already know that and I know it can be hard.
I'm really excited to see him.
I'm really excited to be able to spend this week together.
I'd like to plan our life.
I'm very much looking forward to that.
Did you make them all by yourself?
And like that from the tree?
We have to get a lot done this week,
we have to find an apartment.
And it's like the most important thing to me.
I have to somehow explain to Yohan that
we're never going to New York.
We have a lot to do.
Yohan and I have had many conversations
about where we going to live long term.
I told Yohan that I would apply for the spousal visa
for him to come and live in the United States.
But I have since changed my mind.
I understand that Yohan really wants
to come to United States,
so I'm a little bit nervous about having this conversation.
Yohan is not gonna be happy once he learns that
my plan is to live in the Dominican Republic forever.
Sure you wanna do this?
Yep.
Were you gonna get rid of the other girlfriend's name or...
Gabe moving to Colombia
to be with the woman is stupid decision.
What about her kids?
You said that you didn't want to date someone with kids
- What's going on, man? - What's going on?
- Ready to get this tattoo? - Let's do it.
- Why don't you step in? - All right, cool. cool.
It's happening.
I'm moving to Colombia in under a week
to be with Isabel.
I just can't wait to be with her, to see her,
to start our new life together.
Sure you wanna do this?
Yep.
Before I make my move,
I'm actually gonna get her name tattooed on me.
I feel like it's permanent
And I want to show her that I'm here and I'm here to stay.
It's about to get serious for me.
Kind of professional love.
Yeah.
Hey, Gabe.
Wassup, Monica?
Hey.
I just knew you were gonna show up today.
- I knew it. I felt it in my bones. - Okay, sweet.
Do you think my boyfriend's gonna tattoo
your girlfriend's name on you and he's not gonna tell me?
Really, Malcolm?
Can't really do much without letting my boss know what's happening.
My relationship with my sister Monica is very unique,
because we fight and bump heads
almost every single time we see each other.
But I think it's coming out of love,
because growing up it was just the two of us
living with my mom.
And we're actually very, very close.
Were you gonna get rid of the other girlfriend's name or...
The other name? Yes. We're gonna black it out.
Malcolm said he'll black out the name for me.
Okay. So, you're getting this new tattoo,
is that like... to prove that
you love her just as much as you used to love
the person on the back of your neck or what?
I just... I don't know.
I just want her name.
It's like another notch on the belt, right?
It's how I express myself.
This is not my first time I tattooed a woman's name
on my body.
I was 18, 19 years old. I was impulsive.
But, because it's on my back, I don't ever see it,
so it's out of sight, out of mind.
This is very much gay.
You fall in love after a week,
and then boom, you're living with someone,
you're tattooing their name on you--
How many girlfriends have I lived with?
You've lived with, what, like, two or three?
- But then you also move... - Two or three?
...but then you also move them into our mom's house.
You'd think that Gabe moving to Colombia...
to be with the woman is...
a stupid decision.
But it's just very true to who he his as a person,
'cause he's impulsive.
He has a tendency
to jump the gun and rush into things.
It can get exhausting.
After your last relationship you told me that
you needed to be by yourself and get some alone time,
and then, now...
here you are, getting a tattoo.
It's just fate. It just what happens.
And so what about her kids?
You said that you didn't want to date someone with kids...
after your last relationship.
- What? - You said you'd never do it again.
- Yeah, but her kids are... are big. - And she has two.
How old?
- Sixteen and eleven. - Okay.
So, it's... they take care of themselves.
So does that mean this doesn't bother them?
No, it means that I don't have to,
like, babysit them
Oh, you don't want to help her with her kids?
Is that what you're saying?
I'm not saying I'm not gonna help.
Of course I'm gonna help her, 'cause it's like...
we'll all live together.
But I'm saying that, she's...
motherly and provides for her children.
But you pay the bills.
- Yeah. - So who's providing?
Isabel has two kids.
She has a daughter that's 16,
and a son that's 11 years old.
My relationship with Isabel's kids...
it's very good.
As soon as I step into the house, and they're there...
It's like great. It's...
it's awesome. It feels like a real family.
Hey, we're done with the tattoo, man.
Thanks, Malcolm.
All right, I just wanna watch.
I don't wanna be the devil's advocate,
but, like, I'm concerned because...
you do have a tendency
to like jump from relationship to relationship,
like, you're going with these rose colored glasses,
and like everything's perfect.
They're the greatest thing ever, and you're so much more
different from the other person, it's like...
same thing up and another crazy girlfriend.
So how do you... how do you know that.
This is what the case here is...
It's not like a new relationship
'cause we've been together for like, over a year already.
I just want to be sure that...
she's just as invested in you as you are in her.
I think so, you know, for her to even trust me,
like with her kids.
You know, you're not gonna just do that with anybody,
like you just met.
So you know absolutely this is the one?
Yeah.
In the past my sister has seen me go through
some bad breakups, and I feel like that's why
she's very concerned about me now.
But Isabel's different. I know she's different.
I feel it in my heart that she's different,
in my soul, in my brain.
And... at the end of the day it's my life and I'm gonna...
just do what I want.
And so that's it, you're just gonna...
- that's it... you're like officially moving? - Yeah.
I'm gonna miss you.
Of course, obviously I love you,
I want the best for you.
I love you, too.
If... if it doesn't work out, I'll be... I'll be here.
And you can say, I told you so.
I was sending money to her,
and I found out about her...
talking to somebody else.
It is a mother's worry.
She's gonna say... see ya.
In just a few days,
I will be moving to Colombia...
to meet and marry my girlfriend Jeymi.
Hey, darling. You in here somewhere?
Yeah. I'm in...
what was Starr's room.
Oh my.
- Watch. - Oh, you're making a mess.
Yeah, but look at how easy this is coming off.
Guess that is one good thing about it.
Six years ago I bought my dream home.
And just two years later,
it burnt.
And I lost everything.
I've always wanted to rebuild my home.
And I've been working on it slowly,
room by room.
This house was once three apartments.
I planned on making it...
crazy cool.
And, uh... renting it out for extra income.
So, darling, what you trying to do or get it done
before you have to leave.
I'm not gonna be able to get this whole apartment ready
before... I'm trying to get as much done as I can.
I'm really just trying to get the other
completely sold.
Also on the house next door...
I'm currently selling it
on a rent-to-own basis.
That way I know that my rent is gonna be paid over there,
I don't have to worry about it.
Because, you know, I'm going over there
with no job to start out with.
Until recently I was...
the manager of a large shipping company.
And I also do security for a school.
So, to go from two jobs...
to no jobs...
It's... absolutely terrifying.
You know, she's gotta be...
really, really special for me to leave...
my kids and my dream home, and everything...
- to be with her. - I know.
Someone you've never met face to face, huh?
Never met.
That's a biggie.
When Kris told me that she was going to...
go to Colombia and marry a lady,
it was really kind of like a big surprise
all at one time to me.
She never brought a lady home to meet me.
Never spoke of it at all.
I'm a devout member of the church.
But I believe...
it's not our place to judge,
it's Heavenly Father's place to judge.
She's been through a lot of things.
And I hope this will bring her happiness.
Only thing I worry about... about going down there is...
you have...
your health care issues, you know.
Have you and Jeymi talked about your narcolepsy,
does she understand how that affects you
and what it does to you?
She says she does.
But until I'm actually there,
and she experiences it first hand,
she's not really going to.
Several years ago, I was diagnosed with narcolepsy.
Narcolepsy is a sleep disorder.
My brain doesn't know
when it's night time or day time,
and when you're supposed to sleep and when you're not.
I have memory problems.
I have sleep spells.
I would just fall asleep
in the middle of eating dinner.
Every day is a battle.
It's very difficult, you know,
a lot of times in relationships people get mad,
you know, 'cause they think you're just not interested in them or...
you know, it's just... in public,
people look down on me,
it's hard for somebody to be with me,
and have to deal with that.
So for our relationship to work,
- she'd have to be understanding of it. - Right.
I just hope it's everything that you hope it's gonna be.
It is a mother's worry.
That, you know, that this is a big masterplan and that
once everybody's gone, and you've given her all the money you've got,
she's gonna say... "See ya."
That's a fair concern.
Especially knowing that I was sending money
- to her and... - I know.
And then I found out...
about her...
talking to somebody else.
Six months ago, I found out...
that Jeymi was talking to a woman from Texas.
I received a message from this other woman.
She found me on social media.
She told me that Jeymi was using me for money.
When Jeymi was sick with Covid
I did help pay her bills.
When I confronted her about it, Jeymi denied it.
This other woman told me that
Jeymi had been working the entire time.
She told me she was at home sick with Covid.
And then you have to sit back and think,
"Okay, well, everything I'm feeling... is this...
person really feeling what I'm feeling,
'cause, how could they?"
I understand why...
Jeymi started talking to this other woman.
I hurt her by ghosting her.
So she hurt me.
Jeymi begged and begged me to forgive her and...
she promised o cut all ties to the woman in Texas.
She's been...
really, really trying to make up for it.
In my heart, I couldn't stand the thought of...
not being able to talk to her,
not being able to see her, anything like that.
I know, I mean that...
I just know we're supposed to be together.
One of my worries at the beginning...
was that, you know, this might just be a scam.
And that she might be just trying to get whatever
she can get from whoever she can get things from.
I imagined that Jeymi has had a much...
harder life than we experience here.
I would like to think that all would go well.
But on the other hand...
if it turns into something she didn't bank on...
it's gonna be a big hurt.
Big fall.
It's your decision, it's your life.
And if she seems like a little nice lady...
but you can't know that,
and I can't know that until you go and find out.
So...
proof is in the pudding so to speak.
I've been waiting to tell Yohan about my new plan.
To live in the Dominican Republic more long term.
'Cause I think this is a really serious conversation,
and not really appropriate for text messages.
But I'm worried about how Yohan is gonna react to this
because he's really adamant about moving to the United States.
Temporary?
Whether or not Yohan understands
this is where we're living.
Because he can't go to the United States without me,
and if I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go.