[Brandan] Previously on 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way.
I kinda like the idea that, like, maybe you could come here for, like,
couple of months.
We've been fighting more, we've been arguing more,
I mean, it's just a lot to think about.
Are you really sure you still wanna move to the Netherlands?
[Armando's mom speaking Spanish]
[crying]
[Armando in English] Throughout my life, I've let my mom's fears hold me back,
but now I have no excuses.
[speaking Spanish]
[Wayne speaking English]
[Judy] This one.
If Holly wants to be safe in South Africa,
she's definitely gotta change the way she dresses.
I'm scared, like, people think you're single,
or think you a prostitute.
Prostitute's a bit much.
Yeah, okay, I'm gonna go change.
[Holly crying and speaking]
[Yashaswi speaking]
And what did I do?
I moved across the world for him.
[Yashaswi speaking]
No, I'm not showing stupidity.
Don't you dare ever call me stupid.
[Holly speaking]
[Judy speaking]
[Holly speaking]
[Judy speaking]
Okay, okay.
Hey, baby.
Yeah.
-Mm-hm? -Yeah.
I'll be right back.
I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry.
Look, I know you're upset because of what I said,
but I didn't mean it like that.
People could perceive me as a prostitute
and it was like-- that was humiliating.
You know I'd never humiliate you,
I mean, that's how South African people would portray you.
-Because that's what comes to mind... -But--
...when you see a girl with a short dress.
-I didn't say you are a prostitute. -I know.
But you're supposed to be my ally,
like, you're supposed to be my biggest ally here.
And, like, it was kind of-- I kind of felt a little bit betrayed and hurt.
I want to make sure you're safe.
That's all I care about.
Anything could happen on the street,
and I'd never forgive myself.
Yeah.
[Wayne speaking]
Yeah.
-Okay? -Uh-huh.
-All right, I'm ready to go now. -Give me a hug.
Why do we lose the power so frequently?
[Holly speaking]
I was really upset about his stupid comment.
But, it's really hard to stay mad at him 'cause he did apologize to me
and I told him, "You can't talk to me like that."
Thank you for going with me.
Yeah.
I feel disappointed in myself.
Like, I screwed up completely with what I said in the store to her, like,
she's given up a lot to be with me, and...
I just thought that, "You know what Wayne? Just, like,
let's leave the whole dress thing." until you're married,
and then you can approach that.
I just want Holly to be happy in South Africa.
Okay, so we're gonna work down here.
[Wayne] Today, I'm taking Holly to a self-defense class,
because I'm sort of hoping
this is gonna help her, like, if she's in trouble, you know?
No, no I haven't.
The self-defense I teach is--
I call it more "reality based."
I'm not gonna teach you how to disarm a guy with a gun or a knife,
-because-- -Yeah.
-That's not realistic. -[Wade] It isn't--
It's not, so we're gonna work on--
-Okay. -[Wade] All right.
-[Holly] That sounds good. -[Wade] Cool. All right, so,
obviously, one of the things that happens is,
you're gonna be standing around,
someone's gonna come around and grab you by the-- by the neck.
First thing I do, grab into the-- the elbows, on the wrist,
and I turn my head and I look down
-into the gap. -Look down into the gap.
No.
Okay, defend the choke first.
-[Holly] Like this? -Yes.
-[Holly] Then, like-- -I want you to step--
step more this side or me, yes.
And now, kick him.
-Like that. -[Holly] Like that?
Great, I'm tripping myself.
[laughs]
Forget it. Let's try again.
Okay.
Now, I want you to come forward, lean forward for me.
Perfect, very nice.
-Okay. -[Wade] Here we go, again.
Awesome, good work.
That's actually really cool.
[Wade] Excellent.
Holly-- Holly doing self-defense, like,
like, I never thought a small girl could throw a big guy like that.
But, um, [chuckles] that was impressive, yeah.
Good work, Holly. Nice.
Okay, get some water.
It's true, I-- I'm lethal.
Thank you.
That's good, baby.
Although, the guy had to throw himself around a couple of times.
-Wait, what? -Nothing.
Look, I'm-- I'm looking at this and I'm thinking,
"She's such a petite girl."
Like, this could be good for her, you know.
See, the nice thing about jiujitsu,
it was designed for a small person to beat the big person.
I understand, one person attacks her,
-she can defend herself, 100% understand that. -Yeah.
But, now you get like, three-four guys are breaking--
-Well, obviously I can't defend myself... -Yeah, that's what I'm--
-...with five people. -No, but this reality, that's what I'm telling you.
-Tell you the reality about this. -This is, like,
if I were jogging and like-- I used to go jogging at night,
no one ever came up behind me but if they did, I wouldn't have known what to do.
I actually feel like I learned a lot.
Yeah, but-- I don't know.
Like, I know that you always have the best intention with me,
but what's it gonna take in your mind to see that I'm capable enough
to go out by myself or jog, or, you know,
what point is when that happens?
Like, I think, like, six months, a year, maybe?
-A year? -Yeah.
When you learn how to be safe,
when you learn how things are done around here,
how do you be more aw-- aware of your surroundings,
then I-I think I can, like, let you out the cage.
I'm just trying to keep you safe.
We're protective of our women, you know what I mean?
We're not gonna, like, let them get hurt, you know.
[Armando] I'm excited for this.
-I'm a little nervous now that we're here. -Oh my gosh.
[Kenny] Armando really wants to have a baby with me.
So, I told him we definitely would seek out
some surrogacy specialist here in Mexico City.
Because I wanna find out everything there is to know about it
to make a really informed decision.
[Armando speaking Spanish]
[receptionist and Armando speaking Spanish]
[in English] I have been very back and forth in my own mind
about wanting a baby.
[Armando speaking Spanish]
-[Armando and Kenny] Hola. -[Mariana speaking]
-[in English] Hi, Kenny. Nice to meet you. -Ricardo Ramirez.
[Kenny] Having a baby at 60-years-old is a huge deal.
I'll be 66 when the child's in kindergarten.
When the child graduates high school, I'll be 79-years-old,
and maybe by the time they married, I'll be in my eighties.
That is mind-boggling to think about.
[speaking Spanish]
[in English] We have been open for seven years.
We have worked, uh, with a lot same-sex couples,
we have, like, 85 babies.
So...
[speaking Spanish]
[in English] Okay?
Are all your surrogates um, Mexican?
International? Oh.
[Kenny] Oh.
Thirty years ago,
when I wanted to have children as a gay man,
I went through the in vitro fertilization process,
which really was quite new at the time.
And a friend of mine offered to do it with me.
But it was very difficult,
because you couldn't be a single person,
much less a gay man.
So, I actually wore a big wedding ring
to all the office visits.
We did a little deceiving, but you know what?
I was going to have children,
and I was gonna find a way to make that happen.
Well, what is the cost for the total package?
[Mariana] Okay, so the total package will cost
[speaking Spanish]
-$72,000. -I thought she said a million.
[all laughing]
-[Mariana] No, imagine million dollars. -You said it--
When you said it in pesos, I thought I heard million.
-I was like, "We're out." -[all laugh]
[speaking Spanish]
Process like this in the United States,
it's completely different.
So, usually, when you start the process,
what's usually the time frame?
It will pass like, a year, a year and a half,
so you can have your baby with you.
So, it's very, very fast.
-That is, yeah. -[Kenny] That's fast.
-[Armando] Very fast. -[laughs]
-[speaking Spanish]
[Mariana speaking Spanish]
It was a pleasure meeting you.
It all is really overwhelming in a way,
because my decision is really life-changing.
And if I decide that I don't want a baby,
my biggest fear is that I will crush Armando's dreams.
[Kenny] Definitely a lot we have to discuss.
-There's a coffee house. -Do you wanna sit in here?
[Kenny] Sure, we can stop and talk.
-[Armando] Sounds good. -[Kenny] All right.
It's exhilarating to know the possibilities
of being able to have a baby, and how easy it is.
So, I'm over the moon,
and I'm, you know, ready to have a child.
[Armanda speaking Spanish]
The people were very nice.
-You know, I'll say that much. -Yeah.
I really liked them.
I learned a lot, you know, hearing how the process works.
I'm excited.
[Kenny] Excited, like...
-you wanna move forward with it, right? Like-- -I do.
If we can, I totally do.
What are you feeling? What are you thinking?
Armando, I do back and forth on it all.
Um...
[sighs]
-You know, it's a lot. -[Armando] Yeah.
[Armanda] What do you think is a lot?
What's wrong, babe?
[sighs]
[crying softly] I'm thinking I'm too old for it.
You think you're too old...
You can't
or you think you're too old you don't want to
because of your age?
If it's right to do.
[Kirsten speaking]
-For me to move here. -[Kirsten speaking]
Whether you like it or not, I do love TJ.
-And you don't either! -You just--
[Kirsten sighs]
That wasn't even a kiss.
-Do you-- -Maybe you should kiss.
-Let me see. -Uh--
Can I get a real one?
-Can I have the Wi-Fi? -Mmm-hmm.
I'm taking Kirsten to the airport today,
and the mood is...
This trip has not gone the way that I wanted it to.
I mean, just because of the fights and arguments that we've had.
It's just, you know, it made me question things a little bit more.
Yeah, of course I was.
It was nice that you were able to experience like,
-part of my life, you know? -[Kirsten] Mmm-hmm.
[Kirsten] But also...
a lot of fights.
[Julio] I think those are things that
we have to we kind of like, fix,
'cause like, we're gonna spend some time away from each other.
So, we can kind of like, think and all that stuff, right?
Yeah, I know.
-For me to move there? -[Kirsten speaking]
That's the plan, that's the goal.
[Julio] I'm definitely going to miss Kirsten,
but seeing her in my world
opened my eyes a little bit more.
And kind of highlighted some differences that we had.
I love her,
and I'm hoping in the next few months,
we can find a solution
to these small fights that we have,
and be good, and you know.
When do you think we should start looking for apartments?
I'm the one that started looking.
Why do you always say, "I'm the one, I'm the one."
-But I send you them, too. -Yeah, okay.
-Of course. Yeah, of course. -So, it's like-- like--
Yeah, you're the one going-- doing the viewings, I know that.
But you don't have to remind--
like, say it all the time too now.
You make it sound like
I choose not to do the viewings.
But you know I can't, so.
[Kirsten speaking]
You saw a total of two or three apartments.
-I was on FaceTime for one of them, right? -What?
Don't lie to me now.
-I know, I'm not lying, I'm just-- -[Kirsten] You are.
-We were never on FaceTime. -Okay.
-Never. -All right.
[Kirsten] Are you serious?
Do you wanna argue right before I leave?
[Julio] No.
-Okay. -No.
[Kirsten] I can't believe Julio's acting like such a jerk.
I feel like things are so off between us,
and I just want it to be like how it was before.
[Julio sighs] We finally made it.
We're here at the airport.
Oh, my God.
[Kirsten] I really never saw this side of him,
and I really hope things will get better between us
once he moves.
[Julio] It's a bittersweet moment right now.
[Kirsten] Especially when it's like,
three months I'm not gonna see you.
[Julio] Thank you for coming.
Of course, I loved it,
and it was nice meeting your family, your friends,
seeing your life.
It sucks that you're leaving right now, you know?
'Cause I feel like I wouldn't--
would love to spend more time with you.
-[Julio] I love you. -I love you too, babe.
-[Julio] I'll see you very, very soon. -Mmm-hmm.
-[Julio] All right? Just three months. -Yeah.
-[Kirsten] You promise? -Mmm-hmm, I promise.
Pinky promise.
[Kirsten speaking]
-[Julio speaking] -Yeah.
-Let me know when you get over there safe, all right? -[Kirsten] Mmm-hmm.
Bye.
Don't you dare ever call me stupid.
Because I am not.
-No, I think you're being a smart ass. -[Yashaswi speaking]
I'm not you confining want to--
I understand what you're trying to say.
But I'm trying to let you know,
that this is constricting to me.
Do you not understand that?
Are you the stupid one?
[Kimberly] Yash is a typical virgo.
He's kind of controlling,
thinks he knows what's right,
he's pompous, little bit arrogant.
So, I want him to understand that
I'm not going to sacrifice every bit of myself
just to be with TJ.
He needs to compromise in some way.
[Yashaswi] First understand,
It's a partnership in my country,
but apparently in your country, it's not.
[Kimberly] You've never been there.
So, if you want me to respect your culture,
you better respect mine.
[Yashaswi speaking]
It's everything about him.
He's already a king and I don't wanna be a prince.
I never wanna be a boy and please don't touch me.
-[Yashaswi] Okay? -I asked-- I said please.
If you want me to say, "Don't [bleep] touch me",
I'll say that.
But I didn't say that, did I?
I'm asking you to respect my boundaries.
Whether you like it or not, I do love TJ.
And whether you like it or not, he loves me too.
[Yashaswi speaking]
No, you wanted me to change and morph all of my ways to your beliefs.
That's not gonna happen.
Obviously.
And I don't care about you either.
But again, I'm doing this for TJ.
[Kimberly] If your--
No, it is because of TJ because I hate India.
I don't wanna be here.
-But I'm here for him. -[Yashaswi] You're not because of TJ.
-He is the only reason I'm here. -You--
He is the only reason I have to put up with you.
He is the only reason I have to deal with your parents.
Takes trash to know trash, don't it?
[laughs]
[mocking Kimberly's laugh]
If he cannot be happy where he is in any way,
he won't be happy without me, he won't be happy with me.
He has to be happy on his own,
whether it's at home or on his own.
[Kimberly] Obviously, that's what I just said.
And you don't either.
[Kimberly speaking]
I'm here because I love TJ and I wanna marry him
and I wanna spend the rest of my life with him.
And if that's in India, I'll suck it up.
But...
it needs to be addressed that I'm feeling like
in this family I won't have any say.
It's not gonna change whenever I get married.
I'm never gonna be just like them. It's never gonna happen.
So, I'm gonna stand my ground, I'm gonna be who I am, and...
Yash is gonna have to deal with me the rest of his life.
I booked us some places to look at today, to move.
It's expensive to move.
-Like, it's not cheap. -[Holly] Yeah--
Until my financial situation changes,
I can't afford to move.
The thing is, I haven't been completely honest with her to how bad it's gotten.
I don't know how your money works.
Like, I need to know all that stuff if I'm gonna get incorporated to living here.
Yeah, well, maybe you should have done that
before you said you'll marry me first.
[Holly] Hey, baby.
How's it, babe?
You look so pretty today, baby.
[Holly speaking]
Yeah, but you look pretty.
That's sweet, uh, thank you.
So, like, you know how I'm always, like, having those great ideas?
Mmm-hmm.
You know?
Um, I booked us some places to look at, to move.
I feel like the self defense class is really helpful
but I don't feel comfortable like I did in the United States at all.
One of the biggest concerns I have
is the house has been broken into three times.
And so, I don't think that I'll ever really feel like South Africa is my home
as long as I live in the house that we do now.
So, do you wanna go look at houses? [chuckles]
[Holly] Yeah, but, like, with the safety of the house and stuff,
And the house has been broken into three times.
So, you can't deny that. I mean, that's just proof.
Babe, I explained to you.
-Like, I spent a lot of money on this house already... -[Holly] I know.
...and on the pool and stuff. I made the thing safe.
I signed up for security, like...
Like, I've tried doing everything for you guys to keep you safe.
-[Holly] I know. -And now you go and book appointments behind my back.
Obviously I want Holly to feel safe
but she's just basically got here.
And now Holly wants us to move.
That makes no sense to me.
And the thing is, when Holly came down the first time,
she's seen that my business was a success, it-- it-- was-- it was flourishing.
Holly saw what, you know, what I had.
And then after that, I lost one of my biggest contracts I had.
These people used to give me up to, sometimes, eight, nine jobs a day.
Holly knows what happened to an extent.
But, um, I haven't been completely honest with her to how bad it's gotten.
I know but, like, you have to understand too, like,
I come from a country that's safe, so,
That is in-- That is-- That is in the US, babe.
Like, you in South Africa now. I explained this to you.
[Holly] That's what I'm saying.
[Wayne] Even in a gated community,
-it's not safe in a gated community. -That's not true because--
My friend got shot in an estate through--
through the gates, like, in his neck.
Nowhere is safe.
You-- You make yourself as safe as you want.
Well, why can't we just go look?
It's expensive to move. Like, it's not cheap.
[Holly] Yeah, well, you never brought up any of that stuff with me
so, I need to, like, know, like,
I don't know how your money works.
Like, I need to know all that stuff if I'm gonna get incorporated to living here.
Yeah, well, maybe you should have done that before you said you'll marry me first.
Wow. [laughs]
I just said "look at houses."
I didn't know you'd get all, like, psycho about it.
I'm just saying, like, it's-- it's hard. Like, it's--
-I need to understand how things work in this country. -[Wayne] Yeah, you do.
I really don't think there's any way that anyone could understand completely
the extent of what I've given up and how I feel unless you've done it because
I have no independence here,
I already feel like I'm super reliant on him.
And just-- I know without a gated community
I don't think I'll ever feel safe here.
In fact I know I'll never feel safe here.
[Wayne] You're right. You're right.
You have sacrificed everything and-- and, um...
-Let's-- Let's go look. -[Holly] I'm not saying we're moving.
Like, it's not gonna hurt-- it's not gonna hurt to go look,
-And I'll keep an open mind. -[Holly] I didn't--
Maybe I'll even like the place. Who knows? I don't know.
Until my financial situation changes,
I can't afford to move but,
I'm sort of thinking, like, I'm taking everything away from Holly, like,
I need to try and give her something,
so, I'm compromising and considering go looking at a house with her.
Like, maybe it'll change my mind. Let's go see.
Okay.
It's time to make a decision.
Well, I don't have an answer today.
[Armando crying]
I feel very misled.
I just didn't expect this.
[sobs]
What scared you from that?
Just thinking about a little baby
and then thinking about if something happened when
they're five or they're six or they're eight...
Because of the age I'm at,
it's something I have to think about
and it just hit me a lot.
Well, that's the thing. All along we have talked about your age
and those factors.
You know, it's not something that just, to me, hit you now.
[Kenny] One of my concerns about having a baby at my age is
what will I miss?
In the next 20 years, a lot of things happen to people,
lot of people's health decline.
This child, I probably would never see their children.
And this is what he's not understanding.
This is called fear, uncertainty.
I know adoption is a far-fetched option
but, see, like, to me, I would feel better about having an older kid
and helping an older child.
Don't act like that.
[Armando] I just get very frustrated because we went to an orphanage and
we found out that the process to be able to have
an adopted child of our own takes so many years.
[Armando in Spanish]
[woman in Spanish]
[Armando in Spanish]
[woman speaking]
[Armando in English] I definitely know that surrogacy
is possible here in Mexico City,
and it would be a much quicker process to expand our family.
The only reason I have entertained this...
is because I love you as a dad, I love you as a parent and,
I wanted to share that together.
We can't keep pushing it further back.
It's time to make a decision.
Well, I don't have an answer today.
So, I'm asking you to kind of respect me on that little bit
because this isn't, you know, about where we're gonna go on vacation.
-[Armando speaking] -No.
That's unfair for you to say. I need-- I need a second.
That's unfair 'cause that is not even the case and you know that.
[sobs]
This is a big decision,
the biggest I think I can make.
And it has to be the right one for everybody involved in the long run.
And the last thing I wanna do is break his heart
so I don't know what to do.
[sobbing]
[sighing] Oh, God.
[exhales]
I feel very misled because he was saying no
and he tries to twist it in his own way.
Like, "Oh, I'm not saying no, but let's see still."
And, like, I am in some ways
heartbroken because...
And for him to try to even say that
I'm not respecting him is just unfair.
And I just didn't expect this.
[Kenny] Come with me for a second.
[sighs]
[Armando speaking]
-I just-- -[Kenny] No more buts.
The thing is, I've had patience with you.
Have you been steering me in the wrong direction?
Have you been, like, making me believe something that is never gonna happen?
Just-- It's almost like, just tell me no. I might be upset for a little bit,
but just say if you don't want to.
[Kenny] Do you honestly, look me in the eye and then tell me,
if you thought I would ever string you along.
'Cause it almost feels like you think I'm not being honest.
[Armando sniffs]
Which I don't think is fair.
And that's why the disrespect comment,
which I didn't even say. You just misread me. I said,
"Just respect me on how I'm feeling." [sighs]
That I'm feeling... Come here.
That I...
That I'm unsure.
We have the information.
A decision doesn't have to be made tonight.
I'm not saying another six months,
but I'm saying it... It's not gonna be made this second.
All I was doing was telling you how I was feeling.
I've been very excited and I've been very worried.
I've been up and down and people do that sometimes.
[breathes shakily]
[cries]
[Kenny] I hate disappointing you.
[both crying]
If you believe something, it doesn't mean that I have to.
[Yashaswi speaking]
[Indian music playing]
[Tejaswi speaking]
[Yashaswi speaking]
[Tejaswi speaking]
[Yashaswi speaking]
[Yashaswi in Hindi]
I feel like Yash has the most controlling voice in his family.
He's outspoken and hotheaded, so it does make me worried
because TJ and I are getting married in only six days.
And I don't want that type of hatefulness to spew on any of us.
Thank you.
[in Hindi]
[Tejaswi speaking]
[in English]
My concern was...
not being able to express myself or being accepted as who I am.
If you believe something, it doesn't mean that I have to.
[Tejaswi speaking]
-Okay, so-- Okay, -Perso-- My personal opinion.
-[Kimberly] Okay. -So...
That's what she's saying. That's what-- She's living--
[Tejaswi speaking]
You just...
-Fine? -Not the way you're acting, no.
-[Yashaswi] No? No. -But it's okay.
-[Yashaswi speaking] -Okay.
That's fine.
Okay.
[Kimberly] It was a great relief
just to feel like TJ has my back.
I want him
to feel like we can be a family.
But if this is how it's gonna be
from this point on, it doesn't feel like
that's what we're gonna be.
[Yashaswi speaking]
The reason these things are important to me
is because in America, we are taught to be happy
and prideful about these.
I know. I'm just--
-I just wanted to explain-- -[Yashaswi speaking]
[Kimberly] Who said I was?
[Tejaswi] Why are you--
[Kimberly] I can't control somebody else's feelings.
I can only express my truth.
Uh-huh.
Okay?
[Tejaswi speaking]
[Yashaswi speaking]
[Mary] Next time on 90 Day Fiance The Other Way...
[in Dutch]
[in English] I'm so flabbergasted
because I'm stuck waiting for Julio now.
[in Dutch]
-So you took our honeymoon money and put it in crypto? -Yeah.
I put everything on the line.
I made it, like, 100% clear to Wayne
that, like, communication is the number one thing
that's important to me in a relationship with a partner.
When you get ready to really apologize, Wayne, you tell me.
[exhales]
[woman in Spanish]
[Kenny] He's at the age where people have children.
I'm not.
Maybe...
I'm not the right person for him.
[Mary speaking]
[Brandan] I don't know where I can look, who I can speak to.
I don't think anyone should have to live like that.
I want you to trust that
-I can look and talk... -[crying]
...to anyone without leaving you.
Mary getting insecure and jealous,
it can't be like this forever.
[Mary speaking and crying]