1 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:05,403 Welcome to "the misery index," where misery loves company. 2 00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:06,805 -Yeah! Yeah! -Yeah! 3 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,607 Jameela: We have scoured the globe 4 00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,875 For the world's most miserable true stories, 5 00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:12,945 Then asked a panel of respected psychologists 6 00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:15,747 To rate those stories based on three pillars of misery -- 7 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,616 Physical pain, emotional trauma, 8 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,551 And long-term psychological impact. 9 00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,886 The higher the combined misery, 10 00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,622 The higher it lands on our misery index. 11 00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:24,957 What is going on? What is going on? 12 00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:27,091 Our two contestants must try and decide 13 00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:29,962 How those events were rated for a chance at our grand prize 14 00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:32,297 Of $30,000. 15 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,166 You're about to win some money! 16 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,768 So, let's get miserable. 17 00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:38,236 [ cheers and applause ] 18 00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:44,643 ♪♪ 19 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,378 Hello. I am jameela jamil, 20 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,713 And welcome to "the misery index." 21 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,583 Tonight, we have two very miserable contestants -- 22 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:56,655 Bryan mcintire, who once crashed two cars in two days. 23 00:00:56,657 --> 00:01:02,260 And sam lyons, who once insulted her own wedding guests. 24 00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:04,663 And now, from trutv's hit "impractical jokers," 25 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,531 Give it up for my sons, the tenderloins, 26 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,333 Sal, joe, q, and murr. 27 00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,402 [ cheers and applause ] 28 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,271 How we doing? Whoo! Yeah! 29 00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:14,739 Jinx. 30 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,741 You guys are amazing. I'm pumped. 31 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,811 Yes, we're gonna win! We're excited to be with you, man. 32 00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:20,612 Q is in a full suit. 33 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,414 What's going on this season? The corduroy wonder. 34 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,948 You don't know the corduroy kid? Check him out! 35 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,618 I was born in '76, so I decided to do a throwback 36 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,286 To my birth year. 37 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,288 Okay, so let's get to know our guests. 38 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,224 Bryan, what happened? 39 00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:33,692 So, I was 16 years old. 40 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:37,029 I begged and pleaded my mom to get me a hot sports car. 41 00:01:37,031 --> 00:01:38,763 First day out, I got it, 42 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,765 And I was listening to "99 problems" 43 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,901 By jay-z, took a corner too tight, 44 00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:45,904 Right over a curb, smashed it into a parked car. 45 00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:50,308 Next day, I'm begging my mom to let me take her car to school. 46 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:51,376 She eventually lets me. 47 00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:52,444 I'm backing out of the driveway. 48 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,713 Boom, right into a car passing. 49 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:57,449 And I just haven't driven a car or listened to jay-z ever since. 50 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,184 [ laughter ] 51 00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:01,186 And, sam, offended all of your wedding guests? 52 00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:02,654 Yes. I did. 53 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,256 I wrote my "thank you" notes, 54 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,657 Because my husband refused to help me. 55 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,659 Like they do. Typical. Typical guy. 56 00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,061 Once he locked you down, he stopped caring. 57 00:02:09,063 --> 00:02:10,995 That's what happens. Exactly. 58 00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:14,332 So I ended up writing to one of his college girlfriends -- 59 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:15,734 "so sorry you couldn't make it. 60 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,335 We really missed you at the wedding." 61 00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:20,472 And a week later, we got a screenshot saying, 62 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,474 "guess we weren't that memorable." 63 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,942 I love karma. 64 00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,477 I have a question. There you go. 65 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,411 Go on. 66 00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:27,946 It being the year 2021, 67 00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:30,282 Can a man say to a woman, "nice gams?" 68 00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:32,217 Oh, absolutely. Yeah! 69 00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:33,485 Look at them gams! 70 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,087 [ chanting ] gams! Gams! Gams! Gams! 71 00:02:35,089 --> 00:02:36,955 Okay, okay. 72 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:41,426 Everyone, please, behold the keeper of all things miserable. 73 00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,095 It is the traumatron. 74 00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:46,965 -Ooooh. -Ooh. 75 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,101 So, the name of our first game is misery lane, 76 00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:51,570 And I'm gonna put two misery markers on the index. 77 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,705 And the first one is... 78 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,775 "you reel in a trash bag of body parts." 79 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,110 That's, like, an 8. We're from staten island. 80 00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,111 That's, like, an 8. Yeah. 81 00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:02,247 Which our shrinks rated at a 67. 82 00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:04,048 Okay, the second one is, 83 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:07,852 "you help a friend move in 100-degree heat," 84 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:11,055 Which our shrinks only rated at a 42. 85 00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:12,591 Okay, so I'm gonna show each of you an event. 86 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:13,792 You don't have to tell me the exact number. 87 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,327 Just if it falls above, below, 88 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:18,263 Or in between the two cards that you see on the index. 89 00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:19,731 Bryan, you get to go first. 90 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,266 -Okay. Here we go. -Let's go. 91 00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,068 Please check out this misery. 92 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:25,804 Man: Oh, oh. Oh, no. 93 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,872 -Aah! -Ohh! 94 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,474 Jameela: No, no, no. Look. She makes it. 95 00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,143 The little kid makes it. 96 00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:32,945 Oh, my god! Oh, my god! 97 00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:34,346 -God! -God! 98 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,281 That was some "matrix" stuff, man. 99 00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:37,416 That was crazy. Wow! 100 00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,684 If you zoom in, you can actually see bryan is the driver. 101 00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:42,887 -Whoa! -That is terrifying. 102 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:46,424 Look, I think this is definitely worse than the body parts. 103 00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:49,094 As much as I wouldn't want to reel in a bag of body parts -- 104 00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:50,695 That would affect me greatly -- 105 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:53,231 I wouldn't want that to happen to me even more, 106 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,366 And I think we're all in agreeance. 107 00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:55,900 Yeah, I think we're all in agreement here. 108 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,502 It's above. I'm going "above." 109 00:03:57,504 --> 00:04:00,172 Jameela: Alright, you said it is above. Let's see what our shrinks say. 110 00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:01,573 Good luck. 111 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:05,510 -I'm literally... -Please. 112 00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:08,313 -Come on. Come on. Get back up. -It's going extra slow. 113 00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:10,182 Extra slow. -Oh, why is it taking its time? 114 00:04:10,184 --> 00:04:12,450 Come on, get there! Get there! Don't slow down! 115 00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,452 Don't slow down. You're all good. You're all good. 116 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:17,522 Bam! 79. 79. That's what we're talking about. 117 00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:20,325 So, you are correct, bryan. You just banked $500. 118 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:22,394 Yeah! 119 00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:26,398 Okay, sam, you and your team, please check out this misery. 120 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,133 -Oh, I know this. -We have a monkey. 121 00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,935 It's a monkey on a bike. 122 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,338 Monkey sees a baby and kidnaps baby. 123 00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:36,140 -What is that, a monkey?! -It's a monkey stealing a child. 124 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,410 I feel like you'd be disappointed 125 00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,012 If a monkey didn't try and steal your baby. 126 00:04:40,014 --> 00:04:41,746 I don't know what monkeys you're hanging around. 127 00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:45,017 How amazing that a monkey on a tiny, little motorcycle 128 00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:46,951 Isn't the most amazing part of that video. 129 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,087 -Yeah. -What's your feelings? 130 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:52,090 I would say -- 'cause there's not really physical pain -- 131 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,092 Very minimal. 132 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,828 Emotional trauma, for sure, 133 00:04:55,830 --> 00:04:57,896 'cause now you're scared for the rest of your life. 134 00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,965 And psychological, you're gonna always think about it. 135 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,101 Where's a monkey? Yeah, I get you. 136 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,703 What do you think? You're the professional. 137 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,438 The endangerment of your child is gonna have 138 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,640 A bigger emotional and long-term impact, I think, 139 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,442 Than finding some random bag of body parts. 140 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,310 For me, I think it's above. 141 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,179 I'm gonna go in between. 142 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,448 We're gonna go with in between. 143 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,916 Jameela: Alright, you've said it's in between. 144 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,284 Let's see what our shrinks say. 145 00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:22,654 Oh! 146 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:26,191 ♪♪ 147 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,192 Oh, god. Oh, god. 148 00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,061 -Ahhh. -Ahh! 149 00:05:29,063 --> 00:05:30,595 Come on! Come on! Yes! 150 00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:31,930 Great job. 151 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,598 Well, you are correct. 152 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,400 Coming up, one of these contestants 153 00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:38,336 Will get a shot at $30,000. 154 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,405 [ cheers and applause ] 155 00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:44,743 ♪♪ 156 00:05:47,048 --> 00:05:48,914 [ cheers and applause ] 157 00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:51,316 Hello. And welcome back to "the misery index." 158 00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:54,786 So bryan has $500, and sam also has $500, 159 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,855 But there's lots more humiliation to explore 160 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,792 Before one of them plays for $30,000. 161 00:06:01,062 --> 00:06:03,795 Sam, this time, you get to go first. 162 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,264 -Alright, here we go. -So I'm gonna show you 163 00:06:05,266 --> 00:06:07,666 Two deeply traumatic events, and you just have to tell me 164 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,668 Which is worse according to our shrinks. 165 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:13,204 So, for $1,000, tell me which one of these misfortunes 166 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,073 Lands higher on the misery index. 167 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,008 Is it this? 168 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:22,814 "man wins $291 million in lottery, and brother wins $7." 169 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,749 Ooh. 170 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,585 Or is this more miserable? 171 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,022 "drunk czech man mistakes bank for bedroom 172 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,091 And sleeps naked by the atm." 173 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,360 We're friends a long time. I didn't know you were czech. 174 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,428 [ laughter ] 175 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:39,230 Okay, so, let's talk your pillars. 176 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,966 Well, there's no physical pain. 177 00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:43,969 Emotional trauma, obviously, extremely embarrassing. 178 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:47,973 And psychological impact -- for life. 179 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,975 I would look back on that moment and just never drink again. 180 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,977 I got to be honest with you, it's not that bad. 181 00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:53,712 -Really? Personal experience? -I can't go to the bank. -It's not that bad. 182 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,780 -I'll never go to the bank. -Personal experience. 183 00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:57,448 I will say this -- if I was in that situation 184 00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:59,050 And my brother won 7 bucks, instantly I'd be like, 185 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,385 "we're splitting this." -yeah, for sure. 186 00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,454 So if he did that, then I'll give you the bank, 187 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,189 But if he didn't do that... -Right. 188 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,857 That's what I was thinking... -...That's a 90 to me. 189 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,058 ...That they might be splitting. 190 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,327 I mean, that would be cruel 191 00:07:08,329 --> 00:07:10,195 If he didn't give his brother something. 192 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,331 Okay, sam, ultimately, the decision is yours. 193 00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:13,665 What are you feeling? 194 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,468 We're gonna go, "you pass out naked in a bank" 195 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,869 Is more miserable. 196 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,138 -I agree. -Okay. 197 00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:22,007 Let's first see where our shrinks put the other choice. 198 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,809 Oh, good luck. 199 00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:27,212 Okay, 47 is completely beatable. 200 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,348 Let's see if you're right. -Come on, come on, come on, come on. 201 00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:30,882 I think ours will be in the 60s. 202 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,617 Come on, come on. 203 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,219 Jameela: You're right! 204 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:35,887 -Yeah! Yeah! -Those razor-sharp instincts you got. 205 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,356 That's $1,000. 206 00:07:37,358 --> 00:07:39,558 That's in the bank with the naked guy. 207 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,494 You step over the naked guy, and you put it in the deposit. 208 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,696 So that is correct, and you just won $1,000! 209 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,832 Yes! Yes! Yeah! 210 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,299 -There we go. -There we go. -Best teammates. 211 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,702 Jameela: Alright, bryan, so for $1,000, 212 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,904 Tell me which one of these sensory overloads 213 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,573 Ranks higher on the misery index. 214 00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:57,042 Is it this? 215 00:07:57,044 --> 00:08:01,847 Okay, so he's quickly reaching in to his ball sack, 216 00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:04,183 And then he's doing a sniff. 217 00:08:04,185 --> 00:08:06,685 -Ohh! -He's holding it, though. 218 00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:10,589 He committed to the sniff. He held it up there for a bit. -You gotta know. 219 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,391 That was the point that really was like, 220 00:08:12,393 --> 00:08:13,592 "this has gone somewhere else right now." 221 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:14,926 There's a difference if he was just checking 222 00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:16,395 If he smelled and was like, "nah, that's not me." 223 00:08:16,397 --> 00:08:18,864 But that was like, "ooh, yeah, it is." 224 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,400 Or is this more miserable? 225 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,803 "bizarre ear condition makes a woman 226 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,738 Unable to hear men's voices." 227 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,339 Sounds like a gift! 228 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,608 This is a real thing. 229 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,744 A specialist diagnosed her with reverse-slope hearing loss, 230 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,946 In which she could only hear high frequencies. 231 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,082 So it's all women and david beckham, that's it. 232 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,218 [ laughter ] 233 00:08:39,220 --> 00:08:40,952 Can I point out the graphic 234 00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:44,089 For "caught smelling your balls on tv"? 235 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,225 What are we doing? Is that really -- -they ramped that up. 236 00:08:46,227 --> 00:08:47,959 -He wasn't doing -- -let's try it out. 237 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,961 Let's see if he can do it. 238 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,563 I can't -- 239 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:54,499 -Ow, ow! Easy, easy! -He got it! He got it! 240 00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:57,102 Murr, you're pretty bendy. 241 00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,304 -Bryan, what are you thinking? -I think it's pretty clear here. 242 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:02,041 So, physical pain, there's not a lot, 243 00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:03,775 I think, on either side. 244 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,045 Emotional trauma -- 245 00:09:06,047 --> 00:09:07,779 So, caught smelling your balls on tv is pretty bad. 246 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,115 You're pretty embarrassed. However, I feel like guys, 247 00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:12,051 Like, we've all kind of been there, right? 248 00:09:12,053 --> 00:09:13,985 Like, a lot of guys are watching that potentially like, 249 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,387 "I've done it." maybe not on live television. 250 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,589 Think of it this way -- 251 00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,258 That's her whole life, right, she's affected. 252 00:09:19,260 --> 00:09:21,927 She can't hear half the planet, literally. 253 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,862 -Yeah. -He had a very, very bad moment, 254 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,464 But it was a moment. 255 00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:28,133 Hers lasts her lifetime. I think that's clear. 256 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:31,336 Yeah. Yeah. I think it's "you can't hear male voices." 257 00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:33,071 Okay. Well, let's first see 258 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,873 Where our shrinks put the other choice. 259 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:37,075 -Come on. -It's got to be high, though. 260 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,543 -60. -Oh, okay. I thought so. -Beatable. 261 00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,946 Beatable. -Now, let's see if your choice is correct. 262 00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:42,948 This is for $1,000. 263 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,284 Sal: You're correct, bryan. You're correct. 264 00:09:45,286 --> 00:09:47,018 I feel really good. 265 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,087 -Whoo! -Yes! 266 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,490 Jameela: That is correct. We have a tight game. 267 00:09:51,492 --> 00:09:53,892 Do not go anywhere, because when we come back, 268 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,161 Someone is headed home, and someone is moving on 269 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,497 For a shot at $30,000. 270 00:09:58,499 --> 00:10:00,632 [ cheers and applause ] 271 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:03,635 ♪♪ 272 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,306 [ cheers and applause ] 273 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:10,375 Oh, welcome back to "the misery index." 274 00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:13,111 It all comes down to this one miserable event 275 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:16,581 To determine who is the true master of misery 276 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:19,251 Moving on to play for their shot at the grand prize. 277 00:10:19,253 --> 00:10:24,389 Currently, bryan has $1,500, and sam also has $1,500. 278 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,191 Wow. I'm checking the numbers. That's a tie. 279 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:28,126 Indeed, we have a tight game, 280 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,263 So whoever's closest to our shrink's score wins the round. 281 00:10:31,265 --> 00:10:35,067 So let's play a game called behind the misery. 282 00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:39,337 So please direct your attention to the traumatron. 283 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,339 -I believe in you, kenna. -Oh. 284 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,275 [ indistinct conversations ] 285 00:10:43,277 --> 00:10:45,677 -Why isn't she getting down? -Set! 286 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,011 [ gunshot ] 287 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,947 [ audience groans ] 288 00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:51,416 -Oh [bleep] -are you okay, honey? 289 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,418 Oh, she got knocked the [bleep] out. 290 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,554 She's so upset. -She's not catching up. 291 00:10:55,556 --> 00:10:57,355 She -- she ran down. 292 00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,692 We are very lucky, 'cause now, 293 00:10:59,694 --> 00:11:01,826 Here to tell us all about her misery 294 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,629 Is the face behind that face-plant. 295 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:07,031 Please, everyone welcome kenna. 296 00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:08,567 -Kenna! -Kenna! 297 00:11:08,569 --> 00:11:10,235 -Hey! -Hi, kenna. 298 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,504 -Yay, kenna! -Hi. 299 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:14,373 How are you? Thanks for coming. 300 00:11:14,375 --> 00:11:15,640 -I'm good. How are you? -Good. 301 00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,041 Wait, wait, wait. Did you win? 302 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,310 -No. -No. Okay. 303 00:11:18,312 --> 00:11:19,978 [ laughter ] 304 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,646 Tell us exactly what happened. 305 00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:26,718 So, I almost got a false start, and, like, I caught myself, 306 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,853 But right when I caught myself, 307 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:32,190 The noise or whatever went off to start, 308 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,659 And then I kind of did the little, like, ehh-ehh 309 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,394 And, like, fell on my face. 310 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,797 And it hurt really, really bad. 311 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:41,600 When I got up, I, like, was really confused, 312 00:11:41,602 --> 00:11:43,602 And I fell over again. -Who was watching? 313 00:11:43,604 --> 00:11:46,070 Was it in front of, like, the whole school, or was this a competition? 314 00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:48,807 Yeah, it was my whole school and, like, other schools, too. 315 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:51,743 How long did people make fun of you in school? 316 00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:53,211 They still make fun of me. 317 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,079 Oh, no. 318 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:57,149 Did you run again in races after that? 319 00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,617 No. Never. 320 00:11:58,619 --> 00:11:59,818 -That was the last race? -Mm-hmm. 321 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:02,086 Good for you! It's dangerous and stupid! 322 00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:03,688 -Wow! -Dangerous if you run like that. 323 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:07,091 Well, kenna, you are a very good sport, 324 00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:08,627 Even if you're not good at sports. 325 00:12:08,629 --> 00:12:11,029 But thank you for being here. 326 00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,297 -Thank you. -Thank you, kenna. 327 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:14,833 -Bye, kenna. Thank you. -Thank you. 328 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:17,235 Q: Good sport, man. 329 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,971 Okay, so for $2,000, 330 00:12:18,973 --> 00:12:20,905 Talk it through and lock in where you think 331 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,641 "you lose the race before it starts" 332 00:12:22,643 --> 00:12:24,242 Lands on the misery index. 333 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,978 It hits all three pillars. 334 00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:28,246 It's embarrassing and emotionally impactful. 335 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,248 It's traumatic. -Pain's up there. 336 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,051 Trauma -- in front of everybody. And embarrassed for sure, right? 337 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,654 Everyone, please lock in. 338 00:12:35,656 --> 00:12:37,456 [ speaks indistinctly ] 339 00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:39,724 Okay, go for it. 340 00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:42,260 Okay, everyone is locked in. 341 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,129 Let's see who has mastered the misery 342 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,531 By being the closest to the correct answer. 343 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:50,202 Bryan, you have said that losing the race before it starts 344 00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:52,537 Lands at a...52. 345 00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:54,539 Whoa. 346 00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:57,676 And, sam, you have said that it lands at a... 347 00:12:57,678 --> 00:12:59,678 42. -Whoa. 348 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,680 Okay, we got it. Oh, I like where we are. 349 00:13:01,682 --> 00:13:03,348 Let's see what our shrinks say. 350 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,017 They are currently neck-and-neck. 351 00:13:05,019 --> 00:13:07,019 Joe: Alright, here we go. Here we go, sam. 352 00:13:07,021 --> 00:13:09,153 I think you won. I think you won. I think you won. 353 00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:11,356 I think we got this, buddy. -Come on. Come on, baby. 354 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,091 [ cheers and applause ] 355 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,893 You did it! 356 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:17,229 Yes! Yes! Yes! 357 00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:19,097 -Look at you go. Look at you go. -So sam wins! 358 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,033 Unfortunately, that means we're gonna have to say 359 00:13:21,035 --> 00:13:22,567 Goodbye to bryan, 360 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,369 But sam is moving on and will be playing 361 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:27,305 For the $30,000 grand prize right after this. 362 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,107 Don't go anywhere. 363 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,844 [ cheers and applause ] 364 00:13:31,846 --> 00:13:34,747 ♪♪ 365 00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:42,054 Hello. And welcome to "the misery index." 366 00:13:42,056 --> 00:13:45,924 Sam has chosen q to assist her in the grand prize final round, 367 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:49,862 The $30,000 margin of misery. 368 00:13:49,864 --> 00:13:52,931 [ applause ] 369 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,999 So, sam, if and when you win it all, 370 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,334 What are you gonna do with the money? 371 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,936 I want to help my mom retire early. 372 00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:00,605 She's a schoolteacher, and I want her to be done. 373 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,675 She has one or two more years, and I would love for her 374 00:14:02,677 --> 00:14:04,943 To be able to enjoy herself while she still can. 375 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,945 -Nice. Whoo! -Yeah. 376 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,747 -Good luck, q. -I know. 377 00:14:08,749 --> 00:14:11,617 Oh, just mom's retirement. Here we go. 378 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,753 So I'm gonna show you three terrible events 379 00:14:14,755 --> 00:14:16,689 Worth $5,000, $10,000, and $15,000, 380 00:14:16,691 --> 00:14:19,023 And after each one, you will place a range finder 381 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,293 Where you think it lands on the misery index. 382 00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:24,362 But as the money gets bigger, the range finder gets smaller. 383 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,298 So, are you ready to play? 384 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,900 Yes, I am. 385 00:14:27,902 --> 00:14:29,834 -Whoo! -Alright. 386 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,303 Jameela: Okay, let's do it. 387 00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,806 Let's get miserable. 388 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,444 Okay, so your first event is worth $5,000 389 00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:41,313 And has a range of 30 points this time. 390 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:42,847 Take a look at this. 391 00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:45,049 A man was able to walk away after a car 392 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:48,052 Slammed through a restaurant and pinned him against the wall. 393 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,788 Check out this surveillance video 394 00:14:49,790 --> 00:14:50,723 From a restaurant in arizona. 395 00:14:50,725 --> 00:14:52,056 My goodness. 396 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,592 The car comes barreling through the window 397 00:14:53,594 --> 00:14:56,395 And directly hits blair robertson. 398 00:14:56,397 --> 00:15:00,532 Robertson is a psychic but says he didn't see this coming. 399 00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:02,935 A lot of times, we can't even read our own lives. 400 00:15:02,937 --> 00:15:04,603 That's just how it works. -Here it comes. 401 00:15:04,605 --> 00:15:06,538 [ laughs ] 402 00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:08,073 What you got? Tell me. 403 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,674 Because every time you've said got it, it's been correct. 404 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:13,278 I mean, physical pain, obviously, is high on this one. 405 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,481 Emotional trauma -- you're gonna be nervous 406 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,550 To sit anywhere near where a car is coming. 407 00:15:18,552 --> 00:15:20,419 You're gonna lose faith in yourself a bit, aren't you? 408 00:15:20,421 --> 00:15:21,620 Come on. 409 00:15:21,622 --> 00:15:23,555 Well, he was already making excuses for himself. 410 00:15:23,557 --> 00:15:25,290 He was like, "oh, you can't read your own." 411 00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:26,825 Sure. 412 00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:28,360 So, actually, because of his job, 413 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,562 I actually think it's a little bit more traumatic, 414 00:15:30,564 --> 00:15:32,897 Because now he's dealing with these jokes all the time. 415 00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:33,898 I agree. 416 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,968 We're thinking 35 to 65. 417 00:15:35,970 --> 00:15:38,102 -40 to 70. -30 maybe. Yeah, 40 to -- 418 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,105 -Yeah, you want them high 30s. -30s? 419 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:41,774 Sam: I don't think so. 420 00:15:41,776 --> 00:15:44,176 I think the pain takes it higher than that, I think, 421 00:15:44,178 --> 00:15:46,111 So I would go 40 to 70. 422 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:48,380 Okay, so within a range of 30, where does 423 00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:52,117 "your psychic powers fail" land on the misery index? 424 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,586 Your time starts now. 425 00:15:54,588 --> 00:15:56,422 You going 40 to 70? 426 00:15:57,992 --> 00:15:59,792 Okay. 427 00:15:59,794 --> 00:16:01,660 5...4... 428 00:16:01,662 --> 00:16:03,996 You got it. I love the confidence. 429 00:16:03,998 --> 00:16:05,664 I love the confidence! 430 00:16:05,666 --> 00:16:09,468 Okay, so you are locked in between 40 and 70. 431 00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:13,071 For $5,000, let's see where it lands. 432 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,606 -I think you got this. -It's in the 50s. 433 00:16:14,608 --> 00:16:16,675 You're good. You're good. You're good. 434 00:16:16,677 --> 00:16:19,611 50! 52! 435 00:16:19,613 --> 00:16:21,279 -[ squealing ] -52! 436 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,147 It's not above 70. It's not above 70. 437 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,282 Oh, my god! Oh, my god! 438 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,884 [ cheers and applause ] 439 00:16:25,886 --> 00:16:28,353 Jameela: Oh, my god. Sam, you just made it. 440 00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:31,423 So that was correct, and you just banked $5,000. 441 00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:32,424 Wow! 442 00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:34,226 Whoo! 443 00:16:34,228 --> 00:16:36,961 Next event is worth $10,000, 444 00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:39,964 And you will have a range of only 20 points this time. 445 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,500 Let's take a look. 446 00:16:43,037 --> 00:16:45,103 This here is exclusive footage 447 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,772 Of q and murray every single morning. 448 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:50,775 Murr: What the hell? 449 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:53,178 [ all groan ] 450 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:55,247 -Ohh, now she's in it. -Oh, now she's in it. 451 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,851 [ audience groaning ] 452 00:16:58,853 --> 00:17:01,986 Ooh. She's not getting that broom back. 453 00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,055 What was that over? 454 00:17:03,057 --> 00:17:04,656 I don't know, man. What do you want from me? 455 00:17:04,658 --> 00:17:06,725 I'm just the mistress of misery. Like... 456 00:17:06,727 --> 00:17:08,993 Emotional trauma -- with a neighbor, 457 00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:11,263 It's usually -- this is going to be a psychological impact 458 00:17:11,265 --> 00:17:14,533 For long-term as long -- until you move. 459 00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:16,468 If I had that experience with my neighbors, 460 00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,136 I would be shaken up pretty badly. 461 00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:19,804 -Yeah. -I've lived through this. 462 00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,139 Something similar. Not with the wood. 463 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,942 But I've lived through this, and you lose sleep over it. 464 00:17:23,944 --> 00:17:26,144 -So go 45-65. -I might be at 465 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,947 A 45 to 65 on that. -Yeah, 45-65. Go. 466 00:17:28,949 --> 00:17:34,018 Yeah, I'm gonna go around maybe 43 to 63. 467 00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,888 -Love it. -Okay, within a range of 20, 468 00:17:35,890 --> 00:17:38,557 Where does "you are in a wood war with your neighbor" 469 00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:40,358 Land on the index? 470 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,295 Your 10 seconds starts now. 471 00:17:43,297 --> 00:17:45,097 Murr: 45 to 65! 472 00:17:45,099 --> 00:17:46,831 [ audience shouting ] 473 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,501 No, higher, higher, higher! Higher! 474 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:50,903 -I don't know. -3... 475 00:17:50,905 --> 00:17:52,237 Ooh! 476 00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:55,507 You are locked in between 39 and 59. 477 00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:56,708 Come on, sam. 478 00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:58,911 For $10,000, where did our shrinks rate it 479 00:17:58,913 --> 00:17:59,978 On the misery index? 480 00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:01,980 We're about to find out now. 481 00:18:01,982 --> 00:18:03,648 It could be right in the middle. 482 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,117 It could be right in the middle. -It could be higher. 483 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,653 Murr: Come on, sam! Come on! 484 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:10,923 -Ohh. -What?! 485 00:18:10,925 --> 00:18:12,791 Oh, no! 486 00:18:12,793 --> 00:18:15,928 I'm afraid that is incorrect, so you did not win $10,000. 487 00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:18,663 However, there's now $15,000 on the table. 488 00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,065 -Okay. -Way more exciting. 489 00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:21,666 Let's go out on a high note. 490 00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:22,867 So here we go. 491 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:25,804 Our final misery, it's worth $15,000, 492 00:18:25,806 --> 00:18:27,005 And you are going to have to get it 493 00:18:27,007 --> 00:18:29,207 Within a range of only 10 this time. 494 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,342 Good luck. 495 00:18:30,344 --> 00:18:32,811 Now, take a look at this. 496 00:18:32,813 --> 00:18:34,613 -Whoa. -Wow! 497 00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:40,218 Jameela: "china: Doctors remove 420 kidney stones from patient." 498 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,086 Well, I mean, on one hand, kidney stones. 499 00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:45,824 On the other hand, 420! Yeah! 500 00:18:45,826 --> 00:18:48,226 The corduroy outfit's really hitting home. 501 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,629 Get your confidence back up. What does your gut tell you right now? 502 00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:52,631 Give me a number right now. -Give you a number right now? 503 00:18:52,633 --> 00:18:53,898 -Yeah. -Oh, my god. 504 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,700 Not a range. Give me a number. Single number. 505 00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:58,703 I would say... 506 00:18:58,705 --> 00:18:59,972 82. -There it is. 507 00:18:59,974 --> 00:19:01,706 82? -82 is... 508 00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:03,908 -Maybe. -It's an operation, right? 509 00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,110 It's an operation. -Right, it's an op-- 510 00:19:05,112 --> 00:19:06,779 And they caught him just in time. He didn't pass. 511 00:19:06,781 --> 00:19:08,313 He was probably in a lot of pain before the operation. 512 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:09,581 -Pain -- high. Pain -- high. -Pain's there. 513 00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,516 They are very painful, not just to pass. 514 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:12,917 -Right. -So, yeah, I think -- 515 00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,186 Yeah, maybe a little bit lower. You might be right. 516 00:19:14,188 --> 00:19:15,187 You might be right. -I think 80 is very optimistic. 517 00:19:15,189 --> 00:19:18,123 Right. Yeah. -I might go like 60 to 70? 518 00:19:18,125 --> 00:19:21,726 I was thinking 55 to 65, was where I was at with that. 519 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,127 Murr: We're all over the place. Oh, my gosh. 520 00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,530 -So we're all over the map. -Within a range of 10, 521 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,600 Where does "you have 420 kidney stones removed" 522 00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:30,402 Land on the misery index? 523 00:19:30,404 --> 00:19:33,338 Your 10 seconds starts now. 524 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:34,272 This is it. -Come on, sam! 525 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,408 -We got it, we got it. -Thinking 68! 68! 526 00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:38,477 Sal: Stay where you want! 527 00:19:38,479 --> 00:19:40,813 Jameela: 5...4...3... -Go back! 528 00:19:40,815 --> 00:19:42,347 -Go back! -...2... 529 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,882 1... -Do what you want to do. That's it. That's it. 530 00:19:43,884 --> 00:19:47,419 -Sam is locked in between 69 and 79. -I think it might be high. 531 00:19:47,421 --> 00:19:49,822 Alright, so for $15,000, let's see where 532 00:19:49,824 --> 00:19:52,757 "you have 420 kidney stones removed" 533 00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,626 Lands on the misery index. 534 00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,628 This is it, everyone. -Here we go. 535 00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:59,097 Here we go. You got it. Okay. 536 00:19:59,099 --> 00:20:00,833 We knew that. Okay. 537 00:20:00,835 --> 00:20:03,502 Let's go. Let's go. We got it. Stop. 10, 20, 30, 40. 538 00:20:03,504 --> 00:20:05,170 -So tense! -Keep going! 539 00:20:05,172 --> 00:20:07,172 Keep going! Keep going! -Keep going! We know it's going. 540 00:20:07,174 --> 00:20:08,707 Hit the brakes, hit the brakes. -Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! -Slow down, slow down! 541 00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:11,043 [ cheers and applause ] 542 00:20:11,045 --> 00:20:14,979 ♪♪ 543 00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:17,049 Both at 70 in the first round at the end. 544 00:20:17,051 --> 00:20:18,050 -Sam! -Thank god! 545 00:20:18,052 --> 00:20:19,251 -Sam! -Sam, you did it! 546 00:20:19,253 --> 00:20:21,053 -Thank god! -You did it! You did it! 547 00:20:21,055 --> 00:20:24,523 -Thank god. -Okay, so that is correct. 548 00:20:24,525 --> 00:20:26,058 Congratulations. 549 00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:30,529 Sam, you are going home with $23,500. 550 00:20:30,531 --> 00:20:32,731 [ cheers and applause ] 551 00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:35,133 And that will do it for "the misery index." 552 00:20:35,135 --> 00:20:37,469 I am jameela jamil, and from me and sam 553 00:20:37,471 --> 00:20:39,071 And the tenderloins, good night! 554 00:20:39,073 --> 00:20:40,138 -Yes! -Yes! 555 00:20:40,140 --> 00:20:41,740 Fantastic! Wow! 556 00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:43,808 Joe: Great job. Great job. 557 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,811 [ cheers and applause ]