1 00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:05,337 Welcome to "the misery index," where misery loves company. 2 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,939 -Yeah! Yeah! -Yeah! 3 00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:08,540 Jameela: We have scoured the globe 4 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:11,009 For the world's most miserable true stories, 5 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,077 Then asked a panel of respected psychologists 6 00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,880 To rate those stories based on three pillars of misery -- 7 00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,549 Physical pain, emotional trauma, 8 00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,684 And long-term psychological impact. 9 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,020 The higher the combined misery, 10 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,755 The higher it lands on our misery index. 11 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,090 What is going on? What is going on? 12 00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:27,025 Our two contestants must try and decide 13 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,095 How those events were rated for a chance at our grand prize 14 00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:32,230 Of $30,000. 15 00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,299 You're about to win some money! 16 00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:35,900 So, let's get miserable. 17 00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:38,170 [ cheers and applause ] 18 00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:43,308 ♪♪ 19 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:44,977 Hello. I am jameela jamil, 20 00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:46,711 And welcome to "the misery index." 21 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:49,314 Tonight, we have two very miserable contestants -- 22 00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:53,318 Mark mira, whose penis once itched for two weeks straight... 23 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,519 [ audience groans ] 24 00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:56,188 ...And leanna finley, 25 00:00:56,190 --> 00:01:00,124 Who once went to the er after popping and locking. 26 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,861 And now, from trutv's hit "impractical jokers," 27 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:04,196 Give it up for the tenderloins -- 28 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,731 Sal, joe, q, and murr. 29 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,334 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 30 00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:11,804 Yeah! Yeah! -Yeah! Yeah! 31 00:01:11,806 --> 00:01:14,339 -Yeah! -Yeah! 32 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:16,475 We're ready. We're ready. 33 00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,477 Oh, we're fired up today 'cause it's "the misery index," 34 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,679 And we're about to win some money! 35 00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:24,483 [ cheers and applause ] [ imitating air horn ] 36 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,551 Jameela: Okay, let's just start with mark. 37 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,086 Your penis, what happened, man? 38 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,154 [ laughter ] 39 00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:30,955 I was weed-whacking, and -- 40 00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:33,158 -Oh! -Sure. 41 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:37,162 I was trimming the lawn and I hit a patch of poison ivy 42 00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:39,031 And a bunch of oil splattered all over me, 43 00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:42,634 And within like two hours, my weenie had, like, swelled up 44 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,569 To the size of a two-liter soda. 45 00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:45,704 I got a question. 46 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,506 Does anybody here believe that bullshit story? 47 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,375 You were weed-whacking, not naked, and somehow, 48 00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:51,776 You got poison ivy on your junk, 49 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,579 Or were you weed-whacking and then whacking? 50 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:57,516 That seems way more likely to me. 51 00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,384 I don't know what you're selling, you dirty pervert, 52 00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:00,785 But I ain't buying it. 53 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,987 Jameela: Well, good thing he's not on your team. 54 00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:05,724 That's right. You're going down. Let's get to know leanna. 55 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,392 -We got leanna! -We got the winner over here. 56 00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:08,793 [ cheers and applause ] 57 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,930 We are not allowed to ask leanna about her [bleep]-whacking. 58 00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,598 [ laughs ] 59 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,734 Tell us about your pop-and-lock bullshit. 60 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,802 So, I was watching music videos with my friends back in the day, 61 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,672 A few years ago, so I hit the pop, lock, and drop it. 62 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,941 Third drop, couldn't get back up. 63 00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,677 They had to take me to the er. 64 00:02:24,679 --> 00:02:27,011 Turns out, I pulled my thigh muscle. 65 00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:28,280 Ooh. [ audience groans ] 66 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:32,284 Okay, guys, behold the keeper of all things miserable. 67 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,687 It is the traumatron. 68 00:02:34,689 --> 00:02:37,690 [ cheers and applause ] 69 00:02:37,692 --> 00:02:40,092 The name of our first game is misery lane. 70 00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:42,627 I'm gonna put two misery markers on the index, 71 00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:47,966 And the first one is your ex has a podcast about you, 72 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:51,770 Which our shrinks rated at a 50. 73 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:54,106 And the second one is 74 00:02:54,108 --> 00:02:56,708 Your new psychiatrist keeps saying, "yikes." 75 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,110 [ laughter ] 76 00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:02,180 Which our shrinks rated at a 35. Yeah. 77 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,917 Okay, so, guys, I'm gonna show you each an event, 78 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:06,184 And you don't have to tell me the exact number, 79 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,986 Just if it falls above, below, 80 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,522 Or in between the two cards that are on the index. 81 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,991 Mark, you get to go first. Perfect. 82 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,259 Check out this misery. 83 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:16,729 -Or is it moving closer... -Oh. 84 00:03:16,731 --> 00:03:18,330 -Nope. -No. Don't watch. 85 00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:21,333 -I cannot. I will not. -Okay. 86 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,001 Guys, I'm sure everything's gonna be fine, guys. 87 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,869 -Something's gonna -- -oh, what is it? 88 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,138 Something's drowning, and it's gonna come out. 89 00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:27,139 You're not gonna be able to unsee this. 90 00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:28,340 You're not going to be able to unsee this. 91 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:29,474 Murr: No, no, no, no, no, no. 92 00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:30,475 -[ groans ] -aah! 93 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:31,610 Woman: It's okay. Oh, there it goes. 94 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,878 [ audience groans ] 95 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,814 -What is it? -A June bug. 96 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,882 -Are you kidding me? -A June bug. 97 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,552 -A June bug. Oh, man. -A June bug. 98 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,354 You start. What is your instinct? 99 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,355 It's pretty uncomfortable. 100 00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,624 I think it's more of the emotional trauma 101 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,560 Of having that living in your head. Sure. Think about it this way -- 102 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,295 Every time you have a scratch in your ear, 103 00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:52,765 You're gonna think you have another June bug in there, right? 104 00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:54,967 But it's definitely not as bad as the podcast about you, 105 00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:58,236 Because that has long-term privacy effects 106 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,772 On your life, right? 107 00:03:59,774 --> 00:04:01,239 It's not as bad. -Really? 108 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,374 -Yeah. -I was thinking it's worse. 109 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,643 I agree. I mean, think about every time your ear itches. 110 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,311 Like, you'd just think, "oh, there's something living in me." 111 00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:07,245 -Yeah, yeah. -So, I would not want that. 112 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,647 I'd go higher, too. I'm with you. 113 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,849 I'm gonna say "you have a bug living in your ear" 114 00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:13,385 Lands above both of them. -Okay. 115 00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:15,320 Jameela: Okay, you have said it's above. 116 00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:18,390 Let's see what our shrinks say. Good luck. 117 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,858 -It's the truth. -Yeah. 118 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:23,462 -Oh, no. I'm with ya. -Come on. 119 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,798 -Come on. -Got to happen. 120 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,599 [ speaks indistinctly ] 121 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,335 [ cheers and applause ] jameela: Congratulations! 122 00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:33,205 You are correct, and you just earned yourself $500. 123 00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:35,340 Leanna... -Yes. 124 00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:38,811 ...You and your team need to now check out this misery. 125 00:04:38,813 --> 00:04:40,945 Good luck. 126 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,682 Woman: This is flossie dickey, and check it out, folks, 127 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:48,220 We got her very own "good day, spokane" coffee mug. 128 00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:51,423 She is enjoying some coffee this morning because flossie, 129 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:54,426 You say you're a little tired this morning, is that right? 130 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,228 Uh, yeah, I'm tired. 131 00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:58,897 Later today, flossie's family is gonna be coming out here 132 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,099 To throw you a big birthday party. 133 00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,435 Are you excited for your party? 134 00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,370 Not one bit. 135 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,239 [ laughter and applause ] 136 00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:11,576 How cool is it that she gets to burst into every room 137 00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:13,512 And go, "how you doing? Flossie dickey." 138 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:16,314 It's better than "toothbrush [bleep]" 139 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,450 [ laughter ] joe: Hey, he's a good guy. 140 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:21,119 So, leanna, you're imagining it from the point of view 141 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,522 Of having to live to be 110. 142 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:27,125 Like, you've seen the thousand-yard stare in her eyes. 143 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,193 Here's what I think. 144 00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:30,795 I think that she's in a constant state of misery 145 00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:32,597 And I think those other things 146 00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:36,134 Aren't even as constant as her dying days. 147 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,136 Right, but your ex, depending on the ex, 148 00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,605 Doing a podcast about you lives forever in your life. 149 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:42,006 That's horrible. I don't want that out there. True. 150 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:45,210 A new psychiatrist keeps saying, "yikes"? 151 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,279 I don't like that, either, man. What do you think, leanna? 152 00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:50,815 I think that she is actually going to be 153 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:54,086 In between, actually. Okay. 154 00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:55,087 I see it, I see it. 155 00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:56,755 Okay, let's see what our shrinks say. 156 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:59,091 Put it right there. That's fine. Just pop, lock, and drop it right there. 157 00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:01,226 Pop, lock, and drop. [ laughs ] 158 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,360 Right there, right there, right there. 159 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,896 -It's gonna come back. -Oh, go back. 160 00:06:03,898 --> 00:06:06,431 [ cheers and applause ] 161 00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:07,432 Jameela: You are correct. 162 00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,167 You have just banked yourself $500. 163 00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:11,503 Well done. Yeah, she did. 164 00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,037 And it's round 2. 165 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,641 The name of our next game is more or less miserable. 166 00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,310 So, leanna, this time, you get to go first. 167 00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:19,844 I'm gonna show you two deeply traumatic events, 168 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,781 And you just have to tell me which is worse 169 00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,783 According to our shrinks. -Okay. 170 00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:28,520 For $1,000, please tell me which one of these unhappy couplings 171 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:30,589 Lands higher on the misery index. 172 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,190 Is it this? 173 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,659 "drunk man pleads guilty after he's caught 174 00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,595 Trying to 'have sex' with a pile of leaves." 175 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:37,729 Mark, is that you? 176 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,665 [ laughter ] 177 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,935 Mine was accidental. 178 00:06:42,937 --> 00:06:45,003 You're not alone in life, bud. You're not alone in life. 179 00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,739 [ laughter ] 180 00:06:46,741 --> 00:06:49,207 There's a love triangle between these two and some poison ivy. 181 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,343 [ laughter ] 182 00:06:51,345 --> 00:06:53,345 He was allegedly drunk and high. 183 00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:54,747 [ laughter ] 184 00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:56,582 Or is this more miserable? 185 00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:00,685 "husband creates spreadsheet of wife's excuses 186 00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:03,888 For refusing to have sex with him." 187 00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:06,558 So, the husband made it and gave it to her to shame her. 188 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,827 -Oh. -She posted it on reddit. 189 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,895 -Oh. -[ laughs ] 190 00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:13,432 My favorite one on here, though, is, 191 00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:15,900 "I just came back from the gym, I feel gross," 192 00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,369 And then he put in brackets, 193 00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:19,171 "she didn't shower till the next morning." 194 00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:20,639 [ laughter ] 195 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:21,906 This is kind of more like a spreadsheet 196 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,308 Of every time he masturbated that month. 197 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,309 Joe: Yeah, that's pretty much it. 198 00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,578 As ridiculous as the spreadsheet is... 199 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:28,913 -Uh-huh. -...And it is exposed, 200 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,915 It's relatable in a way that people can be like, 201 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:32,985 "I have a spouse. Sometimes, we are intimate, 202 00:07:32,987 --> 00:07:34,386 Sometimes we're not on the same schedule," 203 00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:38,390 Whereas I think being arrested for having sex with foliage 204 00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:40,192 Is, like, mortifying in a way. 205 00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:43,261 Your wife not having sex with you is a solvable problem. 206 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,729 Either cheat on her or get divorced. 207 00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,264 Done. -Find a pile of leaves. 208 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,399 It's done. What are you gonna do? Find a pile of leaves. 209 00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:49,468 -I see where you're going. -Right? 210 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:52,270 Having sex with a pile of leaves is going to follow you 211 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,406 For the rest of your life, no matter what you do. 212 00:07:54,408 --> 00:07:55,808 That's an internet search away. -Not in the spring. 213 00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:57,942 Come spring, it's all brand new. 214 00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:00,012 So, I feel arrested for having sex with a pile of leaves, 215 00:08:00,014 --> 00:08:02,280 No matter how hot those leaves were, buddy... 216 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,948 [ laughter ] 217 00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,551 ...I think that's worse than a wife you could just leave. 218 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,620 Later for you. -You know what? 219 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,755 I'm gonna have to agree with you. 220 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,025 "you're arrested for having sex with a pile of leaves" 221 00:08:13,027 --> 00:08:15,494 Is more miserable than "your wife don't have sex with you." 222 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:16,961 -Yes. -Okay. 223 00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:19,798 Let's first see where our shrinks put the other choice. 224 00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,167 -Ooh. -62 is high. 225 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,702 -Okay. Alright. -We still got it. 226 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,171 Let's see if you're right. This is for $1,000. 227 00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:29,708 [ buzzer ] 228 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:32,577 [ all groan ] 229 00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:33,912 I'm afraid that is incorrect. 230 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,849 Mark, tell me which one of these party poopers 231 00:08:36,851 --> 00:08:38,650 Ranks higher on the misery index. 232 00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:42,387 This is a goodbye card 233 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:45,123 For someone who is leaving their job after five years. 234 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:49,061 500 people he works with, and this is his leaving card. 235 00:08:49,063 --> 00:08:50,795 -No one signed it. -That's one. 236 00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:52,397 And just as a fact, 237 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:55,133 They did later give him a proper card and that was a prank, 238 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,535 But this is from the point of view of someone 239 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:59,337 Who isn't going to get the second card. Joe: Got it. 240 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:02,407 Just, like, imagine he's only received that first card. 241 00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,309 Or is this more miserable? 242 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:06,545 [ wind gusting ] 243 00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:08,280 Very windy. Very windy. 244 00:09:08,282 --> 00:09:09,748 -Oh! -Is somebody in there? 245 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,284 No, nobody's -- oh, it's spraying. 246 00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:13,752 It's spraying everywhere. 247 00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:19,357 Oh, another one! 248 00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:20,759 [ all groan ] 249 00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:23,828 That is a very portable potty. 250 00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,964 Jameela: Yeah. [ laughs ] 251 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,100 Look, you work at a place for five years, right, 252 00:09:28,102 --> 00:09:30,168 You've spent your time with these people, 253 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,237 And you get a crappy card. 254 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,505 That sucks. 255 00:09:33,507 --> 00:09:35,307 You feel depressed. You feel down on yourself. 256 00:09:35,309 --> 00:09:38,711 But the other scenario, you fear for your life. 257 00:09:38,713 --> 00:09:39,844 Are you afraid that a porta-potty's 258 00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:41,246 Gonna rain on you is gonna kill you? 259 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,048 Because you could wash off the porta-potty rain on you. 260 00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,918 You can't wash off that shame of nobody liking you. 261 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,119 -Oh. -For me. 262 00:09:47,121 --> 00:09:49,387 I'm thinking you could also hide it. 263 00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:53,125 Like, you don't have to show off the card where nobody likes you. 264 00:09:53,127 --> 00:09:54,726 -Sure. -No, but you know. 265 00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:57,396 You know that no one cares that you've left. 266 00:09:57,398 --> 00:10:00,465 As much as you try, you can't lie to yourself, buddy. 267 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:03,268 Yeah, you can, joe. Trust me. 268 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,669 [ laughter ] you can. 269 00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:07,205 I'm gonna say that the "porta potty rains on your party" 270 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:10,542 Is more miserable than "your co-worker won't miss you." 271 00:10:10,544 --> 00:10:13,545 Okay, let's first see where our shrinks put the other choice. 272 00:10:13,547 --> 00:10:14,747 This is what you have to beat. 273 00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,616 -Beatable. -40. Very beatable. 274 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,351 -Beatable. Yeah. -That's low. That's low. 275 00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:22,154 But now, let's see if your choice is correct. 276 00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:25,890 -Yes! -Yes! 277 00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,426 -Good job. -Yes! 278 00:10:27,428 --> 00:10:29,561 That is correct. Don't go anywhere, 279 00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:31,429 'cause when we come back, someone is headed home 280 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:35,167 And someone is moving on for a shot at $30,000. 281 00:10:35,169 --> 00:10:37,302 [ cheers and applause ] 282 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,610 [ cheers and applause ] 283 00:10:44,612 --> 00:10:46,812 Hello, and welcome back to "the misery index." 284 00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:49,948 It all comes down to this one miserable event 285 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,418 To determine who is the true master of misery 286 00:10:52,420 --> 00:10:55,754 Moving on to play for their shot at the grand prize. 287 00:10:55,756 --> 00:11:00,358 Mark has $1,500, and leanna is right on his heels with $500. 288 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,027 Normally in this round, I would show you guys 289 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:04,362 A miserable clip from the "impractical jokers," 290 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,632 But tonight, you're going to have to rate a misery 291 00:11:06,634 --> 00:11:08,233 Based solely on what you can hear. 292 00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:09,768 So, that means no video. 293 00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:11,169 -Ooh. -Ooh. 294 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,438 -Yeah. -[ laughs ] 295 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:16,508 So, whoever's closest to our shrinks' score wins the round. 296 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,710 Let's play "the sound of misery." 297 00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:21,246 [ thunder crashes ] [ audience "oohs" ] 298 00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:22,714 Let's have a listen. 299 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:26,652 From the manatee county fair, linda carson, abc 7. 300 00:11:26,654 --> 00:11:28,520 Would you not eat my pants? Aah! 301 00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:30,588 [ laughter ] 302 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:33,792 Sounds a bit like my first audition for hollywood, but... 303 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:34,860 [ laughter ] 304 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,262 -Oh, my god. -Oh! 305 00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,396 So, what do you think this is? 306 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,732 Leanna, mark, give me your first ideas. 307 00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:43,401 I mean, I'm thinking something cute was near her, 308 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:47,139 'cause she's cool with it, and then it starts biting her 309 00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:49,141 Or eating her pants. -That's right. 310 00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,677 -Could be a goat. -Leanna, what do you think? 311 00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:56,614 Yeah, she's by the goat pen, and the goat is hungry. 312 00:11:56,616 --> 00:12:00,418 He saw, "okay. Oh, I see ham. Let's go." so... 313 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,020 [ laughter ] he upgraded. Got it. 314 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:06,892 Okay, well, for $2,000, talk it through, 315 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:10,628 And lock in where you think this awful audio lands 316 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,564 On the misery index. 317 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,099 I think there's more than just eating the pants, 318 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,433 'cause then she freaks -- -then she gets bit. 319 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:16,434 It probably bites. -Yeah, it bites. 320 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:17,635 So physical pain. -Yeah. 321 00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:20,506 We're also assuming it's a goat. Could be an elephant. 322 00:12:20,508 --> 00:12:22,708 I'm not even kidding. -At a county fair, though. 323 00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:25,844 Jameela: Okay, guys, so I'm gonna need you all to lock in. 324 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,513 -Done. -We're in. 325 00:12:27,515 --> 00:12:29,581 Great. Now everyone is locked in. 326 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:32,718 Okay, I think, before we reveal our scores, 327 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,187 It is only fair for us to take a look at the video 328 00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,322 Behind this miserable audio clip. 329 00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:40,792 From the manatee county fair, linda carson, abc 7. 330 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:43,261 Would you not eat my pants? Aah! 331 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,397 [ laughter, indistinct talking ] 332 00:12:45,399 --> 00:12:48,066 -Crotch bump! -Right in the crotch! 333 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,868 She did. She took a "c" punch. 334 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:50,869 Okay, now that we've seen the video, 335 00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,871 Let's see who has mastered the misery 336 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:55,273 By being closest to the correct answer. 337 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,209 Mark, you seem confident. 338 00:12:57,211 --> 00:13:00,078 You said it was... 339 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,414 A 32 on the misery index. 340 00:13:02,416 --> 00:13:03,949 Okay, that's low. 341 00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:09,020 And, leanna, you said it was at a... 342 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,488 Ooh, 38. 343 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:11,890 This is actually good for us. 344 00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:14,360 Okay, let's see what our shrinks say. 345 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:19,898 This is going to decide who gets to go on to the next round. 346 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:23,501 -Come on! Come on! -35 or above! 35 or above! 347 00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,170 Other way, other way. 348 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,172 [ cheers and applause ] 349 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:28,574 Jameela: Leanna wins! 350 00:13:28,576 --> 00:13:30,376 Unfortunately, that means 351 00:13:30,378 --> 00:13:33,579 That we are going to have to say goodbye to mark, 352 00:13:33,581 --> 00:13:35,713 But leanna is moving on 353 00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:37,649 And will be playing for the $30,000 grand prize 354 00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,117 Right after this. 355 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,452 Don't go anywhere. 356 00:13:40,454 --> 00:13:42,454 [ cheers and applause ] 357 00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:50,061 [ cheers and applause ] 358 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,798 Welcome back to "the misery index." 359 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,066 So, leanna has chosen sal to assist her 360 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,136 In the grand prize final round. -Alright. I like you. 361 00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:01,807 This is the $30,000 margin of misery. 362 00:14:01,809 --> 00:14:03,809 [ thunder crashes ] [ audience "oohs" ] 363 00:14:03,811 --> 00:14:05,543 Oh, leanna, if you win it all, 364 00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:08,280 What are you gonna do with this money? 365 00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,882 I'm gonna head to my family's land, trinidad, 366 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,351 With my girls for a girls trip for carnival, 367 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,688 And we are gonna turn all the way up. 368 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,156 -Pop, lock, and drop. -And drop. 369 00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,225 -Yes. -Yes. 370 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:21,693 Alright, well, leanna, I'm gonna show you 371 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:24,763 Three terrible events worth $5,000, $10,000, and $15,000, 372 00:14:24,765 --> 00:14:27,499 And after each one, you will place a range finder 373 00:14:27,501 --> 00:14:29,301 Where you think it lands on the misery index. 374 00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:32,237 But remember, as the money gets bigger, 375 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,440 The range finder gets smaller. 376 00:14:34,442 --> 00:14:36,442 Are you ready to play? -I'm ready. 377 00:14:36,444 --> 00:14:38,576 Okay, let's do it. 378 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,680 Let's get miserable. 379 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:47,319 Okay, so, leanna, your first event is worth $5,000 380 00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:49,988 And has a range of 30 points this time. 381 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,290 Take a look at this. 382 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:57,529 So that is -- that's -- that's a delivery truck. 383 00:14:57,531 --> 00:14:59,397 -Oh, no. -We have a delivery guy... 384 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:02,067 -Oh, no. -...Who's leaving it there. 385 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:05,270 He's taking a picture, and... 386 00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:07,072 [ doorbell rings ] followed all the protocols. 387 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,207 -He doesn't know yet? -"my truck is over here." 388 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,076 -He's lost his truck. -Here he comes. 389 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:13,745 Murr: Here it comes. [ audience "ohhs" ] 390 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,148 Oh, my god. 391 00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:22,087 I think with your truck rolling away because you neglected it, 392 00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,288 Didn't put it in park... -Right. 393 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,957 ...You may lose your job with that. 394 00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,625 I think it hits on trauma and impact. 395 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,027 -Yeah, more than anything. -You know, it is a truck, 396 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:32,097 And it does smash into someone's lawn and it is his fault 397 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,565 And it was caught on video 398 00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:35,167 And he does have to fess up at work, right? Yep. 399 00:15:35,169 --> 00:15:37,635 Within a range of 30, I think it's gonna be, 400 00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,705 Like, maybe 25 and 55. 401 00:15:39,707 --> 00:15:41,306 -Yeah. -Here, here. 402 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:43,709 Yeah, I'm thinking, like, 403 00:15:43,711 --> 00:15:46,311 A tiny bit higher than that, like 27, 57. 404 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,714 So, leanna, within a range of 30 points, 405 00:15:48,716 --> 00:15:51,249 Where does "your delivery truck rolls away" 406 00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:52,984 Land on the misery index? 407 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,786 Your time starts now. 408 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,189 Come on, trinidad. 409 00:15:57,191 --> 00:15:58,824 Come on, baby. 410 00:15:59,727 --> 00:16:04,662 Five, four, three, two, one. 411 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,264 Lock it in. Okay. 412 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:10,135 Leanna, you are locked in between 28 and 58. 413 00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:13,271 For $5,000, let's see where this lands. 414 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,540 Come on, trinidad. 415 00:16:14,542 --> 00:16:16,208 Oh, god. [ groans ] 416 00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:17,876 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 417 00:16:17,878 --> 00:16:18,944 -Alright, alright. -Alright. 418 00:16:18,946 --> 00:16:20,546 Get up! Get up! 419 00:16:20,548 --> 00:16:23,549 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 420 00:16:23,551 --> 00:16:26,017 [ cheers and applause ] [ laughs ] 421 00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,553 Whoo! 422 00:16:27,555 --> 00:16:31,023 That's $5,000. That's $5,000. 423 00:16:31,025 --> 00:16:34,159 That was correct. You just banked yourself $5,000. 424 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:36,428 That's gonna be a very expensive bikini. 425 00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:37,629 Well done. 426 00:16:37,631 --> 00:16:40,498 Okay, so this next event is worth $10,000, 427 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,634 And you will have a range of 20 points this time. 428 00:16:42,636 --> 00:16:45,270 -Okay. -Let's take a look. 429 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,874 Joe: Oh, no. 430 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:56,114 [ audience groans ] oh, my god. 431 00:16:56,116 --> 00:17:00,185 Jameela: This is a san juan bonfire festival in madrid. 432 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:03,789 Men, alcohol, fire -- what could possibly go wrong? 433 00:17:03,791 --> 00:17:05,323 [ laughter ] 434 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:08,660 Anytime someone is in the center of a fire... 435 00:17:08,662 --> 00:17:11,463 It's really location, location, location. 436 00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:13,665 He was dead center, you know? He didn't, like, skim the fire. 437 00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:15,533 He, like, became it, so, yeah, yeah. 438 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,868 Yeah, yeah. 439 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,871 So pain very much is there, 'cause that's fire. 440 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,073 It hits everything, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. 441 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:23,475 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking it's gonna be a little higher 442 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:24,876 Than just the truck rolling away. Yeah, definitely. 443 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,479 And with a range of 20, I'm thinking we got to get into 444 00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:28,747 The 70s, a little bit, just in case. 445 00:17:28,749 --> 00:17:30,616 Okay, well, within a range of 20, 446 00:17:30,618 --> 00:17:33,218 Where does "you crash into a bonfire" 447 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:34,286 Land on the misery index? 448 00:17:34,288 --> 00:17:37,089 Your 10 seconds starts... Now. 449 00:17:37,091 --> 00:17:38,490 Murr: Follow your instincts. Follow your instincts. 450 00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,358 If you go on fire, it's got to be high. 451 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,160 [ indistinct shouting ] 452 00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:47,433 Five, four, three, two, one. 453 00:17:47,435 --> 00:17:49,101 Okay. -I like it. I like it. 454 00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:52,771 You've locked in between 55 and 75. 455 00:17:52,773 --> 00:17:54,772 Now, for $10,000, 456 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:57,175 Where did our shrinks rate it on the misery index? 457 00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:58,777 Good luck. -[ groans ] 458 00:17:58,779 --> 00:18:00,312 [ laughs ] 459 00:18:00,314 --> 00:18:02,648 [ speaks gibberish ] 460 00:18:02,650 --> 00:18:05,851 Come on. Come on. Fire's got to be more than a ups truck crashing. 461 00:18:05,853 --> 00:18:07,118 Come on. More, more, more. 462 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,021 [ indistinct shouting ] 463 00:18:10,057 --> 00:18:12,324 [ cheers and applause ] 464 00:18:12,326 --> 00:18:14,059 Yes! 465 00:18:14,061 --> 00:18:15,393 Jameela: Correct. 466 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:16,995 You have just banked yourself $10,000. 467 00:18:16,997 --> 00:18:18,997 -Whoo! -Oh, my god. 468 00:18:18,999 --> 00:18:20,798 [ cheers and applause ] 469 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,067 Here we go. 470 00:18:22,069 --> 00:18:26,004 Our final misery is worth $15,000 this time. 471 00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:28,273 However, you are going to have to get it 472 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:30,676 Within a range of only 10 points this time. 473 00:18:30,678 --> 00:18:32,344 -Okay. -Okay. 474 00:18:32,346 --> 00:18:34,612 Let's take a look at this. 475 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,081 -We're on a roll. -Thank you. 476 00:18:36,083 --> 00:18:37,549 "death bed confession: 477 00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:40,952 Man admits murder during heart attack, and then survives." 478 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,088 Oh, my god. 479 00:18:43,090 --> 00:18:47,559 He said, "I killed somebody," and then he didn't die, so... 480 00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,561 -I mean, that's wild. -...That's bad. 481 00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:51,029 -Yeah. -What? 482 00:18:51,031 --> 00:18:52,831 First, he thinks he's dying... Mm-hmm. 483 00:18:52,833 --> 00:18:54,432 ...And then he's been carrying this thing with him 484 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:55,901 His whole life. -Uh-huh. 485 00:18:55,903 --> 00:18:57,969 Then he confesses, it's off his chest, and then he lives. 486 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,438 It's like, there's a roller coaster of emotion here. Absolutely. 487 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,040 Joe: There's also the awkwardness of not dying. 488 00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:04,042 Like, you know how weird it is when you say goodbye to somebody 489 00:19:04,044 --> 00:19:04,843 Then you both walk the same way? 490 00:19:04,845 --> 00:19:06,178 It's like that. 491 00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:08,714 -It's like that but with murder. -Yeah. 492 00:19:08,716 --> 00:19:10,782 -It's painful. -Yes. 493 00:19:10,784 --> 00:19:11,850 -It's humiliating. -Yes. 494 00:19:11,852 --> 00:19:12,984 -It's traumatic. -Yes. 495 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,452 It's emotionally -- 496 00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:15,854 Everything's emotional about it, right? Yeah. 497 00:19:15,856 --> 00:19:17,189 -He's a murderer. -Yep. 498 00:19:17,191 --> 00:19:21,459 And then when you think you're getting your load off by saying, 499 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:22,928 "this is what happened," before you croak 500 00:19:22,930 --> 00:19:24,730 And then you don't croak... 501 00:19:24,732 --> 00:19:26,131 Okay, well, within a range of 10, 502 00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:28,400 Where does "you survive after your deathbed confession" 503 00:19:28,402 --> 00:19:30,402 Land on the misery index? 504 00:19:30,404 --> 00:19:32,738 Your 10 seconds starts now. 505 00:19:32,740 --> 00:19:34,272 Murr: Come on, come on, come on. 506 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,541 [ indistinct shouting ] 507 00:19:35,543 --> 00:19:37,142 -Yeah. -Is that cool? 508 00:19:37,144 --> 00:19:40,678 -Five, four, three -- -alright, alright, alright. 509 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,814 [ cheers and applause ] 510 00:19:42,816 --> 00:19:43,882 That feels right. -That feels good. 511 00:19:43,884 --> 00:19:45,083 That's what I would've went with. 512 00:19:45,085 --> 00:19:50,822 Okay, so, for $15,000, this is it. 513 00:19:50,824 --> 00:19:54,760 Let's see where "you survive after your deathbed confession" 514 00:19:54,762 --> 00:19:56,562 Lands on the misery index. 515 00:19:56,564 --> 00:19:57,896 Good luck, leanna. 516 00:19:57,898 --> 00:19:58,897 We're all with you. -Come on. 517 00:19:58,899 --> 00:19:59,965 Murr: Come on. Come on, now. 518 00:19:59,967 --> 00:20:00,766 -Okay. -Oh, god. 519 00:20:00,768 --> 00:20:03,235 Ah. We all feel this way. 520 00:20:03,237 --> 00:20:04,836 We all feel it. -Come on, come on. Keep going. 521 00:20:04,838 --> 00:20:06,972 We all feel it. We all feel it. 522 00:20:06,974 --> 00:20:10,041 [ indistinct shouting ] 523 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:12,043 [ cheers and applause ] 524 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:17,249 ♪♪ 525 00:20:17,251 --> 00:20:18,984 Oh, my god! 526 00:20:18,986 --> 00:20:21,587 Oh, my god! -Great job. 527 00:20:21,589 --> 00:20:24,189 Wow. Wow. 528 00:20:24,191 --> 00:20:25,723 -Well, that is correct. -Wow. 529 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:30,662 You are going home with $32,500. 530 00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:34,332 [ cheers and applause ] 531 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:36,201 Girls' trip! Girls' trip! 532 00:20:36,203 --> 00:20:38,137 [ all chanting "girls trip!" ] 533 00:20:39,807 --> 00:20:42,340 [ laughter ] 534 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,675 Well, that'll do it for "the misery index." 535 00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:46,144 I'm jameela jamil, and from me and the tenderloins 536 00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:49,347 And our champion, leanna, good night. 537 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:52,083 Congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] 538 00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,953 -Thank you. -What an ending. 539 00:20:56,023 --> 00:20:58,257 -Congrats. -Thank you so much.