[Major] This is so hard.
Uh...
I've been here before, million times.
The pain never goes away.
I just don't know what to say.
It's a leaving card, John.
Just put "all the best in your new job."
Yeah.
[exhales]
Are you all right, mate?
Yeah,
just things are getting to me lately, you know, it's like...
-[clattering] -[woman gasps]
Shit!
[woman] Oh, my God.
I'm going to jump.
Don't do it mate. Wait.
Have we got a negotiator?
I'll do it.
No, you won't. Now one of you's must have done the course?
Some things in life don't need a course.
Yeah. And this isn't one of them.
Roy.
I've been there.
I died,
I know what he's messing with better than anyone.
[indistinct radio chatter]
I'll do it!
Give us a minute!
Sorry.
I've got this.
[indistinct radio chatter]
It's all right mate, you don't have to do this.
You could talk to someone, get some therapy.
I've had therapy. You've seen me having therapy.
Oh. Yeah, right, that's you, yeah.
How's it going?
How does it look like it's going?
Shit.
[stuttering]
This isn't the answer to your problems, pal.
I'm sick of being ignored.
Now I'm centre of attention.
You'll all remember this.
[Carver] Whoa, whoa, no, no, no. Whoa, whoa.
I remember you! I remember you!
I've seen you a few times in Kelly's office.
Yeah, yeah. You're an alcoholic, aren't you?
That's confidential actually.
Jeez. Sorry, sorry.
[Major] What's all this?
Nothing.
Have you been going to Kelly's office?
No. No, a couple of times.
What for?
Nothing. It's not important.
[indistinct]
What was he in there for?
I don't know, but it was emotional.
I think he wanted...
Hey! You just said that's confidential!
You're back together with her, aren't you?
No, of course not. I've hardly seen her.
You have. I've seen you together.
In corners, whispering.
That's to do with something else.
I couldn't take it if you were back together.
I couldn't live with that betrayal.
Not again.
-[whimpering] -[people exclaiming]
[Carver] John!
What are you doing?
What the fuck!
This is just your emotions again.
There's nothing going on.
Why should I believe you?
[people exclaiming]
I'll tell you why.
Your marriage is over!
We're all free agents, so if I was seeing Kelly,
then I'd tell you to your face,
because I'd have nothing to hide, would I?
Yeah. I suppose.
Now get back over the ledge, you soft twat.
Oh this is high.
Oh. Oh no.
[whimpering]
I'm actually struggling a bit.
Can you shuffle round and give me a hand?
Me? No, it's dangerous.
You're about to kill yourself,
what do you care if it's dangerous?
-[screams] -[people exclaiming]
Careful!
[Major screaming]
[music playing]
[squealing]
Pull me up pull me up!
Get me leg over. Get me leg over.
Steady, steady, steady.
Oh, yeah.
Cheers, pal. You alright?
Oh, my God.
I'm OK.
It's these mood swings I've been having.
You had us worried there.
Yeah.
That was very high, Roy.
I'll make you a nice cup of tea.
Two sugars?
I'll get myself down then, shall I?
[grunts]
[static crackling]
Witness protection?
Why would we do that,
there's a specialist Witpro unit.
In this instance the subject has specifically requested
that you two handle his case.
Oh fuck. Don't tell me.
Cleasby? Again?
You're the only officers he trusts.
If he had any sense, he'd want protecting from us.
He's a valuable source. His life is in danger.
Good.
Look it's not difficult,
just give him his new identity, it's all in here.
I thought I should give you a simple case. Stress-free.
After all, today's Pancake Day.
What's she on about?
No idea.
Pancake Day.
We don't understand, boss. Do we?
No.
Pancake Day.
Oh. Oh, you mean my application for me promotion, boss, yeah?
No.
All right, Carver, we all know
you've got your sights set on higher things.
That's not what I'm talking about.
Look, could you give us a minute, please, mate?
It's all about you, isn't it, Roy?
[sobbing]
Yeah, right now, it is, yeah.
No, I was talking about how Major's due to die today.
I was being subtle.
Anyway, you wanted to talk to me about your promotion?
No. I want to talk about John.
Oh, make your mind up, DI Carver.
Or should I say, Superintendent Carver.
Superintendent?
You wouldn't have been my first choice, Roy,
but the panel saw something in you that I don't.
Congratulations.
Thanks, boss.
And it's perfect timing,
just in case, you know, your partner does...
No, we can't give up on him, boss.
There must be something we can do.
I haven't given up. Dr Parfit...
Dr Parfit's useless.
All she's done is build that shitty little robot.
Searching the web for pretty little teapot.
If you'll both just let me finish, please.
Sorry.
Yes, Dr Parfit has let us down.
So I looked for outside assistance.
Private sector.
You helped when Millikan Biotech were victims of crime.
So, I asked them to return the favour.
So which one's the AI?
Hard to tell, right?
I made sure the AI components conformed to human-
[Roxy] The one with the USB port in his head?
Yeah there is that.
Jesus. What is he a PlayStation 2?
It's vestigial.
I've made improvements.
Graphene nanotubes?
Of course.
Convolutional networks?
Naturally.
Sentinel Prime?
Character from Transformers 3.
Oh, DI Carver. This is...
Yeah, we've met.
Right.
Can you fix him?
Yeah.
Good. Because she's been, no offence, useless.
Literally brought a man back from the dead.
I'd have to examine the AI first.
Whoa, whoa. Don't tell him he's dying.
He doesn't know.
He must've noticed.
The drop in functionality,
the inability to pursue rational thought.
That's perfectly normal for him.
Yeah.
Also, his dad doesn't know he's AI.
I told him I'm the AI.
Well, imagine how you'd feel
if you found out your kid was part-robot.
Totally awesome.
Yeah. So cool.
So listen, I was wondering
what your plans are for the weekend.
I've got these vouchers for Laser Quest
Johnnie, I'm going home.
Back to Spain.
What?
The Chelsea Bridge case, it's not solved.
I came here to help on the case and I have done.
But they've got no idea who the real villain is.
Cleasby said it's probably someone in the police.
Leave it, John.
Look, who was a powerful figure in the police?
-Back then... -I said drop it!
Sorry, Johnnie.
Nothing to keep me here now.
John, this is the new AI expert.
She's going to help with some of your issues.
Hey. Good to meet you.
I want my dad.
Why's he leaving me again?
What did I do wrong?
Wow. He really is confused.
So what can you do about it?
Some basic neuromorphic implants should stabilise him.
That simple?
I've never had those resources.
What I do have is passion and commitment...
Great, I'll let you know when we organise a jumble sale.
Look, I've just been promoted.
So I'm going to have more say
in how things are run in this department.
So you do this...
Sorry, do you need to...
Fucking hell! Sorry...
Listen mate, do us a favour.
Stop trying to commit suicide every five minutes, would ya?
Because I'm such a disappointment to him.
I mean, here's you, with your big promotion,
Going nowhere.
This is your mood swings talking, John.
It'll pass, mate.
Yeah.
Open the door, Carver, I'm gonna do it.
I can't take it anymore!
Central locker, John.
Lindsay Murdoch? That's a girls' name.
When it's spelt with an A, it's a boy's name.
You gave me a girl's name on purpose.
If I had my way you'd be Billy Shitpants.
You're Lindsay Murdoch. Get used to it, Cleasby.
Don't call him Cleasby.
What?
Nobody knows his name's Cleasby.
But we know it is Cleasby.
That's why I'm calling him Cleasby.
OK, OK! It's Lindsay Murdoch!
I knew you'd warm to it, Lindsay.
So what's the deal? Where do I live? What do I do?
After you,
Lindsay.
[doorbell dinging]
[chuckles] Look who it is. Luke Skywalker and R2D2.
Gilbert and Ryle?
We're called Jamie and Hilary now.
I'm Jamie, he's Hilary.
Hungry, DI Major? Here, have a chip.
You know, a chip. Like in a computer.
Why aren't you two in prison?
We co-operated. Gave information on other bent coppers.
In exchange for a quiet early retirement.
Quiet as a mouse.
You know, mouse, like on a computer...
For fuck's sake Simon,
will you give it a rest for once?
It's Hilary.
You remember your old pal Cleasby, don't you?
Stop calling me Cleasby!
Sorry, Cleasby.
You remember your old pal Cleasby, don't you?
Old pal? He shot me in the chest.
Oh, this is a fucking nightmare.
Why would you put me with these two?
Because these are your guardian angels from now on.
They want a quiet life, you want a quiet life.
I think someone's been watching me.
You're paranoid, Cleasby.
Stop calling me Cleasby!
It's watertight.
I've not told anyone apart from my dad,
and neither has Carver.
We're professionals.
What? You told your dad?
Yeah, I've been trying to build a closer relationship with him.
-He's a cop. He's trustworthy. -But that's not the point.
Is he? Is he trustworthy?
We'll soon find out if he is, won't we?
What's that supposed to mean?
Well, if someone does kill Cleasby,
we'll know your dad's responsible.
And when no one kills him, we'll know Dad's clean.
So it's an experiment?
Yeah, if you like.
An experiment? I don't want to be an experiment.
I want to be relocated. Again.
So do I. Not with him this time.
I'm sorry, Simon. I've had enough.
It's Hilary.
Look, you're all safe, yeah, stop worrying.
But if anything happens to me,
anything at all, then your dad will get the blame.
Doesn't seem fair.
What? You mean, I should make sure
Dad's not the only person
that knows where you are?
-What? No, I don't... -No, no, no, no. No, no.
No, you're right.
I'm not having my dad get the blame if you get killed.
Thanks, Cleasby.
Fucking dickhead.
His name's Cleasby! Liam Cleasby!
He works in there
and he's on the witness protection programme!
John, shut up. What are you doing?
Liam Cleasby! A lot of bad guys want that information!
Shut up!
That's him! He's here!
Remember that face.
Shut up!
Look, I'm not having you blame my dad.
I won't blame your dad. I'll blame you!
Liam Cle-
Not Lindsay Murdoch, Liam Cleasby!
Sir! That guy in the coffee shop.
-DI Carver. -Yeah, Witpro cover blown.
Very dangerous individual.
-Do not go in there. -At the coffee...
Tell everybody you know. Liam Cleason.
...Queen Street, now!
Dozy fucking gobshite!
Alright, Roy, you've made your point.
They all need relocating now
just because you couldn't keep your fuckin big mouth shut.
Look I didn't want you pinning anything on my dad.
Well, you shouldn't have told
your friggin dad then, should you!
-Where are you going now? -Fuck off!
Roxy. Roxy.
The sooner you sort him out the better.
Slight change of plan there.
But you said you'd fix him.
I said I could. Didn't say I would.
Well why did you come here in the first place?
Fact finding expedition.
See If I could pick up anything useful.
Which I did.
She made me a very attractive offer.
No, you can't go,
you have got a commitment to SIU.
To Major.
Why would you want me to stay?
You've said it yourself,
I've been, "no offence", useless.
Dr Parfit, what can I do?
How can I save him?
Fuck, no. Wait.
Carver, Major. There's been a hit,
on a witness protection client.
Hospital now!
Is he dead?
No. No thanks to you.
Good.
I'm going to get a Twix.
Gilbert.
What happened?
Have a wild guess.
I got bloody shot, didn't I?
Again.
Where's Cleasby?
Oh, I'm gonna stop you there, Roy,
we definitely have to call him Lindsay Murdoch.
That ship's fucking sailed, mate.
It happened just after you left.
CCTV footage come through.
[Ryle] Weird-looking guy came in,
Cleasby recognised him.
Oh, not again...
Oh, shit. He's got a gun.
Get away!
Oh, not again.
Did you push him?
No.
It looks like you pushed him.
What's he saying?
Nothing.
-Can I have a look? -No.
Oh chip pan in the face!
Bloody hell. Look what we missed.
He talking yet?
He said the lawyers name, Churchland.
Soon as he's lucid we'll find out
who she's working for.
The hitman's in a bed next door,
they've moved Cleasby to a secret location.
Good. Where?
No... I mean secret from you.
He said not to tell you, ever.
And I don't blame him, because you're a security threat
who told his dad where Cleasby was.
I tell Dad everything about work.
Everything?
Yeah. We've been helping each other out.
You're an absolute fucking bellend!
Kelly was right!
Your dad's bent!
Kelly?
Yeah, she said your dad was dodgy, right?
And I ignored her because I was trying to protect you!
Oh Right!
So you have been talking to Kelly.
Not fucking half as much as I should have.
-You... -Yeah, go on.
Go on, there you go. Run off to Daddy!
To tell him he's being framed,
by you.
He put our lives in danger.
We could have you for negligence.
Sorry.
Or we could have him done for battery.
You know, battery. Like a...
Simon, I swear I'll turn that fucking thing off myself.
It's Hilary.
[grunts]
Kelly!
[banging at door]
Kelly!
Kel!
Oh, OK.
It's John's dad. He's behind the whole thing.
The picture you showed me, you was right.
Clifford knows the hitman,
and he's probably got the lawyer working for him as well,
and now he's using John.
Shouldn't you be telling Dennett or somebody?
I fucked up, Kel.
I mean, I, I don't know what to do.
My partner hates me.
He's dying.
And now the only person that could have saved him
has resigned because of me.
It's my fault.
I'm sorry I didn't listen to you.
Roy.
I don't know what to do.
Where's John now?
He's gone to tell his dad that I'm onto him.
We need to stop that. I'm gonna get my coat.
-Start the car! -Okay.
OK, let's try Clifford's hotel first.
[Majors] He accused you, Dad.
Said you set up the attempt on Cleasby.
Attempt?
So he survived then, did he?
He's fine.
They got the hitman too.
They'll interview him when he comes round.
Offer him a deal.
Where's Cleasby now?
Dad, you don't get it.
Carver thinks you were involved in Chelsea Bridge.
He wants to arrest you.
I'm not too worried about DI Carver.
Good.
Because I'm going to clear your name.
Then you can stay here, with me,
we can go to Laser Quest--
I'm not worried about your robot pal
because
he won't be a problem for much longer.
I heard some whispers at SIU.
The AI cop's going to be dead by tomorrow.
What?
Something about his AI bit
and his human bit being incompatible.
I don't understand the science
but basically,
his emotions are fucked,
and he's going to crash.
Sorry, son.
I know he's a friend of yours.
John, it was all there, John.
[Carver] John's dying.
You didn't listen.
John.
It's all gone to shit.
Cleasby survived,
they're going to offer Pigtails a deal.
There he is.
[Carver] Clifford!
Where's John?
He ran off,
seemed upset about something.
Roy, we need to go.
John's out there, on his own, on Pancake Day.
Finish your drink.
I'll come back for you.
And you think I'll be sitting here waiting?
Roy!
Off you go.
[Major] These things are getting to me lately.
[Clifford] His emotions are fucked, he's gonna crash.
Oh, fuck. Ugh!
Am I dying?
[Carver] No, I swear on me mum's life.
[Major] These are mood swings, I've been having,
I've seen you together. In corners, whispering.
[groans]
That's to do with something else.
I couldn't live with that betrayal.
Not again.
[Clifford] AI cop...
-[overlapping audio] -...dead.
Pancake Day.
[Major] Am I dying?
I'm not gonna tell ya.
[grunting]
Am I dying?
[distorted] Am I dying?
[groans]
[Clifford] Sorry, Johnnie.
Nothing to keep me here now.