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‎NETFLIX 原創影集

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‎我要你們見見我的家人
‎他們南下與我同住

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‎-大摩斯
‎-你愛我嗎？

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‎-耶
‎-我是可可

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‎潔德，我當然有很多話要說
‎我是大姊，怎麼可能不叛逆

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‎趕快叫我夏卡，現在由我當家搖滾

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‎馬吉就是我

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‎我是小媽媽艾咪

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‎大聲歌唱、盡情歡樂

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‎闔家團圓

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‎（歡迎來到喬治亞哥倫布）

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‎我們要教他們怎麼以老派方式戰鬥

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‎那群電玩遜咖會被電得不明不白

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‎準備好了嗎？

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‎開始吧，寶貝，聽我的指令

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‎我中彈了！

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‎別管我，你們先走吧

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‎好的

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‎格蕾絲，我的老妹妹，不！

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‎都過來

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‎好的，慢慢來

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‎很遺憾是這種結局

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‎我不遺憾

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‎轉告你們媽媽我愛她
‎她最好不要改嫁！

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‎-屋裡是怎麼回事？
‎-喂！

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‎對啊，嘿，到底怎麼回事？

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‎-別假裝你沒玩
‎-就是說啊，摩斯，丹尼爾

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‎你們真該為自己感到丟臉
‎我試過阻止他們，親愛的媽媽

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‎冷靜點，梅利，別激動

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‎隨便

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‎把東西清理乾淨

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‎-他在跟妳說話
‎-是你

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‎親愛的奶奶最近有點反常

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‎對啊，她沒有一次不打人屁股

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‎我也是

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‎今天非常適合騎腳踏車

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‎之後再穿著緊身健身衣上超市

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‎吸引多餘的關注

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‎有用嗎？

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‎沒有

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‎天啊，我想念生龍活虎的時刻
‎等不及膝蓋完全恢復了

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‎你活該

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‎你已經是中年大叔，臀部笨重
‎不該玩跳跳屋

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‎爸，你應該跟我去
‎騎車是很棒的運動

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‎不了，我每晚走去廁所三次
‎運動量就夠了

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‎變老一點也不有趣

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‎這讓我想起
‎有個特別的人準備過生日了

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‎小子，我說提到那兩個字會怎樣？

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‎親愛的奶奶！

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‎妳要幾歲了？

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‎我看起來像幾歲？

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‎六…

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‎16歲

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‎很接近

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‎爺爺，她到底幾歲啊？

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‎這麼多年來我一直被她弄得很迷糊
‎我真的不知道

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‎我一度擔心可能因為
‎娶未成年少女被捕呢

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‎我真的很喜歡過生日
‎親愛的媽媽，妳期待嗎？

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‎本來期待，但我有朋友昨天過世了
‎菲莉絲

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‎不會吧，真遺憾，我愛菲莉絲女士

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‎對，我也是

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‎我們三年級就認識了
‎她的六場婚禮我都有參加

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‎她挑老公的眼光沒有挑朋友好

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‎現在我知道妳怎麼那麼反常了

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‎是啊

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‎今年我根本不想慶祝生日了

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‎親愛的媽媽真的心情很低落

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‎是啊，各位

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‎也許我們該取消她的驚喜派對

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‎不行，如期舉行對她有好處

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‎梅利喜歡派對

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‎好吧，你最了解她

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‎對，而且我知道
‎45公斤的蝦不能退貨

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‎好了，大家分頭去找有沒有

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‎派對能用的照片紀念品

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‎但記住，只能拿親愛的奶奶
‎不惦記的東西

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‎妳是說馬吉嗎？

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‎衣櫃裡有個保險箱，但裡面沒有錢了

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‎我空閒時做什麼不關你們的事

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‎-為什麼沒上鎖？
‎-可能忘記密碼了吧

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‎你們看 ，是丹尼爾叔叔的成績單

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‎上面沒有成績
‎只寫著“馬上跟我聯絡”

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‎這堆是寫著爸媽名字的財務報表格

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‎是聲請破產文件

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‎在《大富翁》遊戲裡，破產很糟糕

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‎對，現實生活中也很糟
‎意思是爸媽都破產了

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‎-天啊，這表示我們也破產了
‎-爸媽為什麼瞞著我們？

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‎可能是不希望我們嚇壞吧

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‎沒有用，因為我現在嚇壞了！

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‎這都要怪妳，潔德

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‎因為妳的水晶美甲
‎讓我們的大學教育基金飛了

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‎關我屁事，你參加的機器人學計畫
‎才貴得離譜吧

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‎至少我受的教育能幫助我們家脫貧

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‎我可以靠音樂天賦用唱歌換一頓晚餐

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‎恕我直言，我們會餓死的

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‎不會的，爸媽一定會想辦法養我們

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‎我們只需要提供協助

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‎-妳指的是我想的那個嗎？
‎-別說出來

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‎我必須說

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‎我們得去找

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‎工作！

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‎（夏卡和馬吉理容店）

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‎嘿，熱狗小姐

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‎第一天過得怎麼樣？

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‎他們叫我打掃廁所
‎我看到的畫面一直揮之不去

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‎到底為了什麼？賺這70元嗎？

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‎稅後剩45元

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‎都好了，先生

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‎謝謝

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‎好的

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‎下一位是誰？

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‎你知道你是剪髮不是修草皮吧？

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‎關注我們談的事，我們下週見

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‎下次又有讀書報告時
‎別緊張，深呼吸就好

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‎當人生教練是我的天職

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‎說真的，有了我的幫助，潔德
‎妳還有機會如期高中畢業

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‎告訴妳吧，我的輔導員說

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‎我進得去提帕諾理工學院

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‎隸屬於哈佛社區大學！

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‎好吧，你們情況怎麼樣？

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‎我們三個人一共賺了

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‎八塊五

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‎連炸熱狗套餐都買不起

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‎我們得更努力工作
‎爸媽沒辦法留住我們所有人

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‎妳說得對
‎他們可能會送走最差的那個

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‎給我吧

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‎抱歉，老弟，我們保持聯絡
‎但我相信你會找到一個很棒的家

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‎我聽說岡薩雷茲家一直想要個兒子

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‎他們家有游泳池

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‎梅利，妳幹嘛躲在這裡裝睡？

131
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‎-妳的生日晚餐冷掉了
‎-別管我，賈伯

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‎我不想吃生日晚餐

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‎妳的子女費了很多心思幫妳準備的

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‎就連丹尼爾也出了力

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‎現在我知道你說謊了

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‎試試看也無妨

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‎聽著

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‎我知道菲莉絲的事讓妳很難過

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‎賈伯

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‎我累了

141
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‎到了這把年紀
‎我每天醒來都不知道下一個會失去誰

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‎所以妳才要好好活下去

143
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‎何必呢？

144
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‎我的未來日子已經屈指可數

145
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‎這個代表性生日更凸顯了這點

146
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‎嘿，怎麼這麼久還沒下來？

147
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‎問壽星啊，也許妳可以跟她講道理

148
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‎快來吧，親愛的媽媽，妳有很多…

149
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‎家人在等妳

150
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‎如果能讓你們兩個不再煩我

151
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‎-我就去
‎-好，先等等

152
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‎妳不先換衣服嗎？

153
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‎穿上我為妳挑的那件漂亮洋裝？

154
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‎不要，今晚不穿

155
00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:55,429
‎我只想快結束這一切，繼續躺回床上

156
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‎天啊，這下慘了

157
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‎妳說得對

158
00:10:02,478 --> 00:10:03,437
‎妳去吧

159
00:10:04,063 --> 00:10:06,023
‎我在這裡等，順便打包行李

160
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:09,026
‎快來吧

161
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:14,948
‎人都跑去哪…

162
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‎-驚喜！
‎-見鬼了！

163
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,916
‎-有人要倒大楣了
‎-是啊

164
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:25,709
‎我們先發制人，怪到夏卡頭上

165
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‎-好主意
‎-我知道

166
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:39,014
‎我來了，讓派對開始吧

167
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‎我說：“讓派對開始吧！”

168
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‎驚喜！

169
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,440
‎我的老天爺！

170
00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:51,068
‎哎呀！你們嚇了我一大跳

171
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:55,531
‎我完全不知道，太意外了

172
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‎蘇西，妳大老遠跑來

173
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‎梅斯，很帥喔

174
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‎開派對吧！

175
00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:11,422
‎嘿，幫我一個忙
‎跟我的好友喬丹跳支舞吧？

176
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:14,466
‎-摩斯，我不想跳舞
‎-他單身

177
00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:18,679
‎喬丹，我們來跳吧！

178
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‎很好

179
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‎謝謝各位跑一趟

180
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‎我們本來想吐槽親愛的婆婆

181
00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:41,660
‎但後來我們覺得這種事
‎交給孩子們比較安全

182
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‎真傻啊

183
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‎他們最好別讓我丟臉

184
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‎放輕鬆，親愛的老媽，只是好玩而已

185
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,463
‎好了，寶貝，上來吧

186
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‎艾米利雅路易絲威廉斯
‎生於1976年6月13日

187
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‎沒錯，是1976年

188
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‎我們有出生證明可以佐證

189
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‎（出生證明）

190
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‎他們從哪裡弄來這份官方文件？

191
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:17,154
‎把我的私事攤在陽光下

192
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:22,367
‎你們知道我的名字艾咪
‎是艾米利雅的小名嗎？

193
00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:25,829
‎我媽以為如果用奶奶的名字幫我取名
‎奶奶就會喜歡她

194
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‎但沒用

195
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,376
‎可可這個瘋丫頭

196
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:36,673
‎現在夏卡和馬吉要表演一齣短劇

197
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:39,343
‎改編自跟親愛的奶奶相處的日常

198
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:49,394
‎你欠人打屁股！

199
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:52,564
‎為何？我做錯了什麼，親愛的奶奶？

200
00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:58,403
‎等我打你的時候會想出理由的

201
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,204
‎害我流了一身汗

202
00:13:08,539 --> 00:13:10,541
‎耶穌

203
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:12,584
‎耶穌

204
00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:14,336
‎哈利路亞！

205
00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,509
‎快起床！該去教堂了

206
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:33,689
‎這兩個小鬼頭！

207
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:38,944
‎太誇張了，他們明知道
‎我揍人不會流汗！

208
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:45,993
‎現在請歡迎親愛的奶奶
‎最年長但最不討喜的孫兒，潔德

209
00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:55,836
‎我弟弟真搞笑

210
00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:58,130
‎-好了，住手！
‎-親愛的！潔德！

211
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:03,385
‎他忘了提到我也是最強壯的

212
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,224
‎好了，大家都以為

213
00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:13,896
‎親愛的奶奶是個莊重的
‎天堂路教堂牧師娘

214
00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:14,980
‎我是啊

215
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,609
‎這個嘛，我有一些回顧影片

216
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:21,361
‎能證明卡蒂B遇到強中手了

217
00:14:21,445 --> 00:14:25,115
‎什麼？可惡的手機照相機

218
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,869
‎先別管老大哥了
‎連自己的孫子都在監視你

219
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,579
‎（親愛的奶奶，又名豐臀美女）

220
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,101
‎我的天啊！

221
00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:57,314
‎現在請各位歡迎

222
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:03,111
‎我那漂亮，才華洋溢
‎永遠45歲的奶奶艾米利雅麥加倫上台

223
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:16,959
‎天哪，大家坐下，都坐吧

224
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:23,090
‎很感謝你們過來幫我慶祝

225
00:15:24,508 --> 00:15:26,051
‎別忘了我們孫子們呢

226
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,846
‎他們很了不起吧？

227
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:34,351
‎我從沒被吐槽過

228
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:36,603
‎真是不得了

229
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,982
‎讓我們繼續玩吧

230
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,359
‎天哪，要開始了

231
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:48,031
‎我有個美滿的家庭

232
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,616
‎我最年長的兒子和媳婦

233
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,120
‎摩斯跟他的妻子可可

234
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:55,122
‎你們都兩個站起來

235
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:04,798
‎可可是我見過最遜的拜金女

236
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,884
‎她嫁給職業運動員

237
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,303
‎還住在他媽媽的房子裡

238
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:15,684
‎-那不好笑吧？
‎-對，不好笑

239
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:19,438
‎嘿，別介意，摩斯
‎只是好玩而已，記得嗎？

240
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:20,897
‎丹尼爾？

241
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,734
‎我在說話時你要插嘴嗎？

242
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:29,906
‎八成因為這樣你才老是失業

243
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:33,160
‎誰在休假日被開除啊？

244
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:38,457
‎不是這樣！

245
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,209
‎那是因為我沒有一技之長

246
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,462
‎沒錯

247
00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:46,214
‎-你還真的回嘴啊
‎-沒錯

248
00:16:46,757 --> 00:16:49,551
‎她是魔鬼終結者
‎可以回到過去把她關掉嗎？

249
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,970
‎聽著，我已經試了好幾年

250
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:56,183
‎格蕾絲，妳要去哪裡？

251
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,644
‎快回來當笑柄

252
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:03,148
‎我愛妳，親愛的媽媽

253
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:07,235
‎我也愛妳，但請解釋一下

254
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:12,157
‎妳研發出單身基督徒專用的約會軟體

255
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,993
‎怎麼會到現在還單身？

256
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:21,166
‎寶貝，妳別再這麼挑剔

257
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,627
‎為了自己好，開始滑左吧

258
00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:28,715
‎其實是滑上

259
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:34,596
‎她說得太誇張了，我沒有那麼挑

260
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:36,556
‎天啊，那是頭皮屑嗎？

261
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,770
‎不妙，她看到我了

262
00:17:43,814 --> 00:17:45,232
‎妳怎麼現在才來？

263
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:48,443
‎好了，梅利

264
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,822
‎妳對我有什麼要說的？

265
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:55,784
‎我跟賈伯結婚一輩子了

266
00:17:56,827 --> 00:17:57,661
‎是的

267
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:02,249
‎現在他動作沒那麼靈活

268
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:06,253
‎也變得有點健忘

269
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:12,759
‎但他還是我遇過最俊俏的男人

270
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,642
‎派對真的讓妳振作起來了

271
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,185
‎應該是吧

272
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:26,148
‎我失去了一個好朋友

273
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:30,485
‎我有點沮喪

274
00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:37,909
‎但今晚你們讓我明白活著有多幸福

275
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:40,036
‎所以從現在起

276
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,999
‎我要真實地活著

277
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:49,087
‎慶祝我在世上的每個45歲生日

278
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,463
‎-阿門！
‎-阿門！

279
00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:51,840
‎我們來跳舞吧！

280
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:54,384
‎靈魂列車登場！

281
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:55,195
‎馬吉，你想要的高級合成器
‎叫什麼名字？

282
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,367
‎我不想要了， 謝謝，媽

283
00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,622
‎等等，這裡還有一點麵條

284
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,042
‎搞定

285
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:12,045
‎好了，怎麼回事？

286
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:15,799
‎對啊，你們幾個最近這幾天都怪怪的

287
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,301
‎-我們…
‎-哪裡怪了？

288
00:20:19,594 --> 00:20:20,762
‎潔德？

289
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,182
‎好吧

290
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,393
‎好的

291
00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:30,146
‎我們知道你們聲請破產

292
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:32,983
‎我們一直在盡力幫你們賺錢

293
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,653
‎-這是什麼？
‎-我們目前賺到的錢

294
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,197
‎我們想說你們不用為我們擔心

295
00:20:39,823 --> 00:20:42,158
‎這是我們一起存的錢

296
00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:45,078
‎我們會像你們對子女那樣幫你們

297
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:49,291
‎我們的孩子好棒

298
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,251
‎對，真的

299
00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:55,046
‎但你們沒什麼好擔心的，我會…

300
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,925
‎爸媽會一直照顧你們

301
00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:01,303
‎沒錯，有一段時間財務很吃緊

302
00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:07,183
‎但可可原創珠寶開始有不錯的利潤
‎你們爸爸也有好消息要宣布

303
00:21:07,726 --> 00:21:10,312
‎我接洽了好幾個工作機會

304
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:14,566
‎剛剛簽下
‎《橄欖球新鮮事》的球評合約

305
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,401
‎恭喜！

306
00:21:17,736 --> 00:21:20,989
‎聽著，錢的事交給我們煩惱就好
‎有我們在

307
00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:23,074
‎這個家庭很興旺

308
00:21:23,158 --> 00:21:26,995
‎-未來還會有很多更棒的事
‎-沒錯

309
00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:29,414
‎很高興聽到妳這麼說

310
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:30,957
‎那我就

311
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:32,584
‎把這個收回了

312
00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:35,754
‎還有這個

313
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:39,632
‎抱歉，他們很沒禮貌

314
00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:41,968
‎話說妳剛才提的合成器…

315
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,308
‎別那麼貪心，阿迪

316
00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:57,984
‎所有客人都走了

317
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:02,072
‎我們從1999年已經沒玩到這麼晚過了

318
00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:05,825
‎-希望妳喜歡，是我們兄妹合送的
‎-好的

319
00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:13,958
‎真的很漂亮

320
00:22:14,042 --> 00:22:15,251
‎對不對？

321
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:17,921
‎謝謝你們幾個孩子

322
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:19,672
‎說實話

323
00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:25,720
‎我累壞了，也謝謝你們
‎幫我過一個精彩的生日

324
00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:30,809
‎但我這個40歲熟女該上樓去休息了

325
00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:33,186
‎親愛的奶奶，妳越來越逆齡耶

326
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:35,605
‎派對讓我回春啊，寶貝

327
00:22:37,399 --> 00:22:43,238
‎親愛的婆婆，我有東西要給妳
‎其實是我和摩斯送的

328
00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:48,076
‎那我再來拆一次

329
00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:52,247
‎好了，寶貝，看看是什麼

330
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:54,624
‎這個…

331
00:22:58,169 --> 00:23:00,171
‎是我想的那個嗎？

332
00:23:00,255 --> 00:23:01,423
‎是什麼，親愛的奶奶？

333
00:23:01,506 --> 00:23:02,924
‎真不敢相信！

334
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,970
‎那算哪門子禮物？連顏色都沒有

335
00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:09,013
‎是皇帝豆的照片嗎？

336
00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:12,475
‎媽，妳懷孕了？

337
00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:15,145
‎對，我懷孕了

338
00:23:15,687 --> 00:23:17,814
‎-驚喜！
‎-驚喜！

339
00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:21,901
‎不會吧！又來一個孫子

340
00:23:21,985 --> 00:23:24,863
‎這是史上最棒的禮物！

341
00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:28,366
‎難怪妳最近胖了不少

342
00:23:42,589 --> 00:23:44,507
‎（本集編劇要獻給：我老媽）

343
00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:46,843
‎（希望天堂有NETFLIX能看）

344
00:24:26,883 --> 00:24:31,888
‎字幕翻譯：莊雅婷