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00:00:01,485 --> 00:00:04,670
-♪ Look up there ♪
-♪ What do you see? ♪
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00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:06,154
♪ Nature and stuff ♪
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-♪ Like a rock ♪
-♪ And a tree ♪
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00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:10,250
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
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♪ Way up here,
you can breathe the air ♪
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♪ Catch some fish ♪
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♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
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♪ Wow ♪
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♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
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00:00:21,413 --> 00:00:22,913
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
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♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
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♪ From longest night
to longest day ♪
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♪ In the Great North. ♪
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(cheering)
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Oh, my God. The vibe
in the cafeteria today
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is electric.
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I can't believe
the lower 48 exchange student
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00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:43,617
from our sister city
of Long Grove, Illinois
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00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:44,710
arrives next week.
20
00:00:44,861 --> 00:00:46,194
Oh, right.
You know, as someone
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who until this year
was homeschooled,
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I cannot wait
to taste that fresh meat.
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Sorry, I know
not to call her fresh meat,
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but it's just fun to say.
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-Fresh meat.
-And Long Grove is just
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00:00:55,114 --> 00:00:56,797
an hour outside of Chicago,
so that meat
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is gonna be bringing
the sophistication
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00:00:58,634 --> 00:00:59,874
in her meat pockets.
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Sorry, I know
I should also not say that.
30
00:01:01,804 --> 00:01:03,395
Remember how last
year's student-slash-meat had
31
00:01:03,547 --> 00:01:06,290
a fake ID and just casually
brought red wine
32
00:01:06,308 --> 00:01:08,642
to the Bon Voyage Bonfire
at the end of the week?
33
00:01:08,794 --> 00:01:11,628
It was so cool and also got
a lot of people suspended.
34
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It's so rad that my family won
the lottery to host.
35
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I know!
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00:01:15,301 --> 00:01:17,651
Can you imagine rolling
into the Bon Voyage Bonfire
37
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with this incredible, big city
sophisticate on our arms
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after spending a week
becoming her closest friends?
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I don't want to get
ahead of ourselves,
40
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but it might make us
cool forever
41
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and finally get Stacy B.
to leave us alone.
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Look at my former best friend
over there
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with all her-- pfft--
already popular friends.
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I bet she's furious that
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the exchange student will be
in our group.
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She'll have to stop
calling us the...
47
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-The Three Muska-weirds!
-(others gasp)
48
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,340
What are you guys even doing?
49
00:01:40,492 --> 00:01:41,675
Probably something super weird.
50
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,343
Eating a bowl of finger nails?
51
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That's what I heard
from when I told everyone that.
52
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Ugh, you know what we're doing.
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We're eating lunch,
which isn't weird.
54
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Yeah, everybody does it,
except maybe those who...
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had, like, a large breakfast.
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But most people,
they eat lunch.
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-Thanks for the lecture,
Dr. Lunch.
-You're welcome.
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Uh, no, actually not.
You don't get to give me
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another stupid nickname,
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and also stop calling us
"The Three Muska-weirds."
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00:02:02,197 --> 00:02:03,847
I bet you haven't even
read the book
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that you're basing
that insult on.
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What are you talking about,
Judy?
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I based it on a candy bar.
Bye...
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Ugh, she's so mean.
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00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:11,705
But pretty soon
there will be four of us,
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and she can't call us
The Four Muska-weirds.
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She absolutely can call us that.
69
00:02:15,694 --> 00:02:17,544
But overall
things are looking up.
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HAM:
Did you get "A"
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for number four?
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Uh, because I'm also
feeling "B" and "C."
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-And honestly, "D" has a little
something going for her.
-It's "C."
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And that's why you have
the highest GPA in our grade
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and get to go to Illinois
on the exchange program.
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-Are you jazzed?
-Of course.
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Who doesn't want to
see Long Grove,
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home of the longest grove?
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Oop, before I forget.
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I wanted to leave you
with something
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to remember me by
while I'm gone,
82
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so I found
this handsome little devil
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at the garden center,
and I was wondering
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if you'd like to cactus-sit him
while I'm gone.
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Oh. He is... so cute
and sharp.
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I named him Robert.
Robert Plant-inson.
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You know I am very slightly
afraid of cactuses,
88
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but this one is so small,
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and I have always
thought about having kids,
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so cactus-sitting sounds
like an easy way to practice,
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00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:05,667
especially if I have
a baby with thorns one day.
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00:03:05,761 --> 00:03:08,836
Now, what are we thinking on
this next one? "A," maybe "C"?
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-It's "B."
-I knew it!
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Thanks again for letting us
sleep over all week, Esther.
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00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,026
Of course, girls,
we've already got
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-Kima's cousin here.
-Nasty.
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00:03:15,921 --> 00:03:17,754
Uh, you mispronounced
"extremely cool."
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00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:20,032
Uh, you mispronounced
"My name is Dane,
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"and my farts smells like
gasoline-soaked Cheetos
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"that someone ate and then
threw up
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"and then someone
ate that barf
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and then farted
again after that."
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Kima, stop. Although, Dane,
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-your farts really are a mess.
-Thank you, Uncle Walt.
105
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So, you dweebs are
staying here all week
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just to hang out
with someone from--
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checks notes--
Illi-nerd?
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(laughs) Why do I hate it
when Stacy makes fun of me,
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but I love it
when Dane makes fun of me?
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Because I'm like
the guys from Jackass,
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a little wild but a lot lovable.
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Judy, no, Dane's gross.
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And he has a tattoo of Garfield
saying "no worries"
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-on his calf.
-Roasted.
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You know who else is
getting roasted pretty bad?
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Only in not such a fun way?
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BOTH:
Mother Earth.
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Dad, we all get it.
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You're a climate scientist,
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00:03:56,645 --> 00:03:58,295
but also you're preaching
to the choir.
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We're the ones that
are gonna get broiled alive.
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It's a bummer.
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Oh, sorry.
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Is it a bummer
that at this pace,
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your mother and the other
Alaskan smoke jumpers up here
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are gonna be fighting wildfires
year-round?
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00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,915
Is it a bummer
that whole pods of seals
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00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:11,324
are dying because the sea ice
129
00:04:11,477 --> 00:04:12,659
off Biorka Island is
thinner than a...
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00:04:12,811 --> 00:04:14,235
-Walt, cool it.
-Fine.
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00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,146
But you know what's cooling
way too fast?
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-Oh, my God.
-Stop.
-Let us eat, Walt.
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So guys, for real,
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what do we know
about the Illi-nerd?
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Esther! All we know is
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00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,153
that she's probably
very sophisticated
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and her shine will get
all over us,
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and Stacy B. will stop calling
us The Three Musk-a-weirds.
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What is Stacy B.'s problem
with you three, anyway?
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00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:31,678
It's not Stacy B.'s
problem with us three,
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00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:33,346
it's really just... me.
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00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,440
See, all through childhood, me
and Stacy B. were best friends.
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00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:37,609
We even had
matching BFF toe rings.
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But then, as we got older,
things changed,
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and it all came to a head
one day at school.
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She had already disinvited me
from her birthday party,
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which was weird because
it was happening at my house.
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But then I made the fatal error
of coming to school
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00:04:49,348 --> 00:04:50,847
in a very fun airbrushed T-shirt
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00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:53,274
where the "U" in my name
was replaced by a rainbow.
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00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:57,521
And out of nowhere, Stacy B.
turned to me and said...
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00:04:57,539 --> 00:04:58,630
Are you wearing a shirt
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00:04:58,857 --> 00:05:00,073
with your own name on it
154
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where the "U" is replaced
by a rainbow?
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(laughter)
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00:05:03,244 --> 00:05:04,636
AMELIA: Oof. If there's
one thing I've learned
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00:05:04,863 --> 00:05:06,046
from C.J. on The West Wing,
158
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,122
it's that a well-timed
rhetorical question
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00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:09,791
can cut very deep.
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00:05:09,868 --> 00:05:13,036
All she did was point out
a fact, but a line was drawn.
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Stacy left me behind,
and I never understood it.
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And I couldn't even bring myself
to take my BFF toe ring off,
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and it really hurts,
because it got very tight.
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And also,
it hurts emotionally
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because she didn't want to be
my friend anymore.
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Both things are unpleasant!
167
00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:26,974
Well,
when Chicago Jill gets here,
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00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:29,052
she's gonna take us
from The Three Muska-weirds
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to the four muska-cool-girls
you respect too much to bully.
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00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:34,574
Just like Dane's calf-Garfield
says: "No worries."
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-(grunts)
-Ah. Ah.
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GIBBONS:
Attention, let's kick off
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this full week of
out-of-town fun
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from today Meet-Ya-Monday
to Friday's Bon Voyage Bonfire.
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00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,678
It's my honor to present
Lone Moose's annual
176
00:05:46,905 --> 00:05:48,996
"Lower 48 Exchange Student."
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And now,
without further ado...
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This is further ado.
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What you're doing right now
is textbook further ado.
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-Oh, well, ado apologize.
-Mm-mm. Yuck.
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00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,527
Well, I liked it. Anyway,
here's Jill Gerbert-Erble.
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00:06:02,679 --> 00:06:06,681
Oh, man. Here she comes
in her leather jacket and heels.
183
00:06:06,775 --> 00:06:08,516
Uh... Jill? Huh.
184
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,093
She told me she wanted to
make a big entran--
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00:06:10,112 --> 00:06:11,595
-(upbeat music plays)
-Oh, here we go.
186
00:06:11,597 --> 00:06:12,854
(imitates fanfare)
187
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Rub your antennas together
for the Queen Bee!
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Thank you, sir, however,
I am not, nor will I ever be,
189
00:06:18,437 --> 00:06:19,769
comfortable sharing the stage.
190
00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:21,028
Please step back.
191
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,106
Now, who's ready
to take a Jill Pill?
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00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:26,443
Side effects include:
diah-respect for bees.
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00:06:26,536 --> 00:06:27,535
Oh, no.
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00:06:27,704 --> 00:06:28,778
You're probably wondering
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00:06:28,872 --> 00:06:30,204
what my life is like
back home,
196
00:06:30,282 --> 00:06:31,798
on the Gerbert-Erble Family
Bee Farm.
197
00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:33,800
So let me tell you: amazing.
198
00:06:33,952 --> 00:06:35,619
Um, what is happening?
199
00:06:35,637 --> 00:06:38,121
The Gerbert-Erble Family
Bee Farm is located 45 minutes
200
00:06:38,214 --> 00:06:39,472
outside of Long Grove,
201
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:41,474
in an unincorporated hamlet
called Beesville.
202
00:06:41,627 --> 00:06:43,718
My school is in Long Grove,
my online school.
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00:06:43,795 --> 00:06:45,070
I go twice a year to take exams.
204
00:06:45,297 --> 00:06:47,297
Have you ever
even been to Chicago?
205
00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:49,466
(scoffs) Why?
So I can get trampled to death
206
00:06:49,484 --> 00:06:51,743
by all the improv actors
sprinting to get in line
207
00:06:51,895 --> 00:06:53,394
for deep dish pizzas?
No, thank you.
208
00:06:53,488 --> 00:06:55,655
Of course,
this absolute bizarro is staying
209
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,082
with The Three Muska-weirds.
210
00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,566
I bet they're gonna spend
the whole week
211
00:06:58,660 --> 00:06:59,734
holding hands on the toilet.
212
00:06:59,828 --> 00:07:00,902
(laughs) Freaks.
213
00:07:00,996 --> 00:07:03,237
It's like my rainbow T-shirt
came to life
214
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,132
and lives on a bee farm.
215
00:07:09,504 --> 00:07:11,078
So, you guys are staying here
all week just to be with moi?
216
00:07:11,173 --> 00:07:12,505
It's like a little hive
and I'm the queen.
217
00:07:12,658 --> 00:07:13,990
Oh, okay, so,
the bee thing is like...
218
00:07:14,083 --> 00:07:15,675
this is, like,
your whole personality?
219
00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:17,677
-Cool.
-Now, Mrs. Esther
and Mr. Walter,
220
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,420
where do you keep
your honey carafe?
221
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,165
-Oh, for... what?
-(laughs): Okay, Walt.
222
00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:24,592
Like we were gonna have tacos
without honey?
223
00:07:24,686 --> 00:07:26,002
-You big clown.
-What?
224
00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:28,930
Dad, Jill, um,
loves honey and bees,
225
00:07:29,098 --> 00:07:30,932
and actually has
a super interesting life
226
00:07:31,026 --> 00:07:33,359
back on her family's bee farm,
so...
227
00:07:33,512 --> 00:07:34,769
Wait a second. A farm?
228
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,271
Not Chicago? I thought
you were a big-city big shot?
229
00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:38,790
I am something of a big shot.
230
00:07:38,942 --> 00:07:40,292
Not to buzz
my own hind wings,
231
00:07:40,519 --> 00:07:42,961
but I'm, uh, in charge of
a whole section of the apiary.
232
00:07:43,188 --> 00:07:46,113
Ooh. Oh, no. Mrs. Esther,
where is the nearest toilet?
233
00:07:46,191 --> 00:07:47,466
Just down that hallway
on the left.
234
00:07:47,617 --> 00:07:49,192
Please do not wait for me
to eat the tacos.
235
00:07:49,211 --> 00:07:51,786
The TSA seized my water bottle
full of honey,
236
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,287
and, without my daily dose,
237
00:07:53,381 --> 00:07:55,715
oof, my bowels have been thrown
for quite a loop.
238
00:07:55,867 --> 00:07:57,701
Okay, go ahead.
You can say it.
239
00:07:57,719 --> 00:08:00,036
We're The Four Muska-weirds now.
This blows.
240
00:08:00,129 --> 00:08:01,871
Come on, Judy,
she's definitely odd,
241
00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:03,723
but she's only here five days.
242
00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:05,225
And we shouldn't
make her feel weird.
243
00:08:05,377 --> 00:08:06,893
Yeah, maybe we'll turn her cool.
244
00:08:07,062 --> 00:08:08,895
-You guys?
-Dane, I will ground you.
245
00:08:09,047 --> 00:08:10,213
I'm in college.
246
00:08:10,215 --> 00:08:12,232
I mean, she certainly
can't get less normal,
247
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:13,566
so I don't see a downside.
248
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,051
JILL:
False alarm,
that was actually
249
00:08:15,144 --> 00:08:17,329
just a very significant
gas event.
250
00:08:17,556 --> 00:08:19,222
The candle you had lit in there
blew right out, ma'am.
251
00:08:19,224 --> 00:08:22,559
(laughs) Now, where are we
on that honey carafe?
252
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,578
All right, Robert. I'm just
gonna get my homework done,
253
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,747
and you... do that.
254
00:08:27,899 --> 00:08:29,174
Ouch! Ow!
255
00:08:29,401 --> 00:08:33,995
Okay. Just gonna drape this
over you carefully and-- Ow!
256
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,680
Okay, now you're
being unreasonable.
257
00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:36,756
That's enough, young man.
258
00:08:36,908 --> 00:08:37,849
All right, while I have dinner,
259
00:08:38,001 --> 00:08:39,926
you sit in your little book jail
260
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,646
and think about
what you've done, Robert.
261
00:08:44,599 --> 00:08:46,966
(snoring)
262
00:08:47,118 --> 00:08:48,418
(gasps)
263
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,511
-Were you watching me sleep?
-(singsongy): Only since dawn.
264
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:53,198
I sleep bee hours,
11:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m.
265
00:08:53,349 --> 00:08:55,850
Are you ready for a wacky
Waco weekend girls' trip?
266
00:08:56,019 --> 00:08:57,202
I read that
in my in-flight magazine.
267
00:08:57,279 --> 00:08:58,611
I have no idea what it means,
268
00:08:58,764 --> 00:09:00,096
but I really enjoyed saying it.
269
00:09:00,115 --> 00:09:01,814
Anyway, what do we have planned
for after school?
270
00:09:01,966 --> 00:09:04,543
Anything is fine with me,
such as and for instance,
271
00:09:04,694 --> 00:09:06,711
there is a very exciting
indoor bee farm
272
00:09:06,863 --> 00:09:08,362
in Fairbanks
I'd love to see.
273
00:09:08,531 --> 00:09:11,107
It's only a nine-hour drive,
but I get sick if the car goes
274
00:09:11,126 --> 00:09:13,459
over 30 miles an hour,
so it will take us 18.
275
00:09:13,612 --> 00:09:15,536
Or what if instead
we take you to the mall
276
00:09:15,630 --> 00:09:19,132
for new clothes and new hair,
and just, like...
277
00:09:19,284 --> 00:09:21,059
-change everything about you.
-Oh.
-Judy!
278
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,453
(groans) What Judy is
trying to say is, uh,
279
00:09:23,546 --> 00:09:25,546
on Friday,
there's this event at school,
280
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,065
the Bon Voyage Bonfire,
281
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,733
and there's this fun tradition
where you toss things
282
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,435
in the fire
you want to let go of,
283
00:09:30,587 --> 00:09:33,129
and maybe you'd like to get a
new outfit for it or something.
284
00:09:33,148 --> 00:09:36,466
Wait, are you offering me
a human teen makeover?
285
00:09:36,484 --> 00:09:38,225
Offering, suggesting,
demanding,
286
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,636
whatever you want to call it.
287
00:09:39,805 --> 00:09:42,080
-We're offering.
-And if you happen to say...
288
00:09:42,157 --> 00:09:43,564
turn heads at school,
and people wonder,
289
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,141
"Wait, who is
that exchange student,
290
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,643
and look at her normal
and not weird friends!"
291
00:09:46,661 --> 00:09:49,421
Well, pfft, I don't know,
that would be neat.
292
00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:50,738
Oh, my God! I accept!
293
00:09:50,832 --> 00:09:52,498
It'll "bee"
my greatest honor.
294
00:09:52,651 --> 00:09:55,076
-You know, like a bee.
-Yeah. we got it! We get it.
We-we got it.
295
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,744
All right, after school,
we'll have
296
00:09:56,838 --> 00:09:59,155
a Lone Moose
Makeover Extravaganza.
297
00:09:59,324 --> 00:10:03,176
♪ You should be your,
you should be yourself ♪
298
00:10:03,328 --> 00:10:05,328
♪ Unless you're acting
like a bee ♪
299
00:10:05,421 --> 00:10:07,864
♪ Then you should definitely be
somebody else ♪
300
00:10:07,866 --> 00:10:10,183
Did you know there's a hairstyle
named after beehives?
301
00:10:10,335 --> 00:10:13,260
-Jill, no.
-♪ Ooh, be yourself ♪
302
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,763
♪ Unless other people
don't like it ♪
303
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,783
♪ Ooh, be yourself. ♪
304
00:10:18,935 --> 00:10:20,677
Okay, two words: the dump.
305
00:10:20,695 --> 00:10:22,178
Yes. (giggles) The dump.
306
00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:23,655
Have I told you
they've reinstated
307
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:24,956
their early evening hours?
308
00:10:25,108 --> 00:10:26,458
Yes, Dad. Many times.
309
00:10:26,685 --> 00:10:29,185
They haven't had evening hours
since I worked there in my 20s.
310
00:10:29,204 --> 00:10:31,445
I did our trash run
a whole two days early.
311
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,465
-Your turn, Ham.
-Oh, uh, sorry, one sec.
312
00:10:33,616 --> 00:10:35,375
I'm texting Crispin.
"How's Robert?"
313
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,360
Who's Robert?
You know I like to meet
314
00:10:37,379 --> 00:10:39,620
all your new friends,
so I can also befriend them.
315
00:10:39,698 --> 00:10:41,714
Oh, crap, I forgot
I'm cactus-sitting.
316
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,217
Skip my turn, I'm gonna go
snap a pic for Crispin.
317
00:10:44,369 --> 00:10:45,869
I'm up.
All right, babe.
318
00:10:45,887 --> 00:10:47,962
Movie marriage mind meld,
here we go.
319
00:10:48,056 --> 00:10:51,132
-Okay, you're eating,
a-and it's family style.
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
320
00:10:51,226 --> 00:10:53,226
-Family is very important
to you.
-Mm-hmm.
321
00:10:53,378 --> 00:10:54,486
In fact,
your car robbing group is
322
00:10:54,637 --> 00:10:56,303
-an awful lot like a family.
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
323
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,156
-Fast and Furious 7!
-Woo-hoo!
324
00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:01,284
Robert?
325
00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:04,387
Robert!
326
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,073
-Dad, did you really go
to the dump already?
-Why, yes.
327
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,559
They reinstated
their early evening hours, so...
328
00:11:09,577 --> 00:11:10,669
How could you?!
329
00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,486
Hey, bud. Calm down.
What's up?
330
00:11:12,580 --> 00:11:13,821
Oh, I don't know,
331
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,006
my own dad dropped
my boyfriend's cactus
332
00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:17,509
that I promised I'd keep
an eye on at the dump,
333
00:11:17,736 --> 00:11:18,993
and now it's lost forever!
334
00:11:19,087 --> 00:11:22,013
-How could you do this, Father?!
-Ham, don't panic.
335
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,349
The dump's closed
for the next couple of days.
336
00:11:24,576 --> 00:11:26,409
Paulie's taking Wednesday
and Thursday off
337
00:11:26,428 --> 00:11:29,688
to work on his novel:
Jeremy Can, Garbage Detective.
338
00:11:29,839 --> 00:11:32,265
But we can go on Friday
and ask to have our trash back.
339
00:11:32,417 --> 00:11:35,101
And in the meantime,
maybe send Crispin an emoji.
340
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,361
I think teens love those.
341
00:11:36,512 --> 00:11:38,679
Ooh, try shrimp
or the eggplant.
342
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,031
No, Dad, the eggplant is...
343
00:11:40,183 --> 00:11:42,325
Actually, you know what,
I will send him that one.
344
00:11:43,611 --> 00:11:45,036
Hello, everyone.
345
00:11:45,188 --> 00:11:48,614
Read us and weep.
It's us, The Oresome Foursome.
346
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,100
That's like "awesome"
but better, and it rhymes, so...
347
00:11:51,119 --> 00:11:53,953
It does rhyme,
but I don't like it.
348
00:11:54,105 --> 00:11:56,881
Hello, Quay,
a cool boy in our grade.
349
00:11:57,033 --> 00:11:59,551
Oh, hey, Judy. Kima.
Amelia. Bee girl.
350
00:11:59,778 --> 00:12:02,111
Uh, okay, take another look.
Not a bee girl.
351
00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:03,871
She's just a regular,
human girl
352
00:12:03,965 --> 00:12:06,616
who is friends with us.
Oh, hi, Stacy.
353
00:12:06,709 --> 00:12:08,785
-I didn't even see you there.
-Oh, hey, Judy.
354
00:12:08,803 --> 00:12:10,211
Hey, Jill.
You look nice.
355
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,563
Yeah, that's right, she does.
356
00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:14,807
You might even say she looks,
uh, Muska-fierce.
357
00:12:14,976 --> 00:12:16,309
Mm-mm. No. Don't say that.
358
00:12:16,461 --> 00:12:18,219
Uh, excuse us! Excuse us!
359
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,647
(laughs) Lower 48 cool girl
and her besties coming through.
360
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,316
-Choo choo.
-Or her best bees.
361
00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:24,576
Jill, no. No, no.
362
00:12:24,803 --> 00:12:27,996
And to think, I knew them
when they were weird.
363
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,310
♪ You should be your,
you should be yourself ♪
364
00:12:34,479 --> 00:12:36,162
♪ Unless you're acting
like a bee ♪
365
00:12:36,331 --> 00:12:39,649
♪ Then you should definitely be
somebody else. ♪
366
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:42,409
See you later, Jude,
and all Jude's dudes.
367
00:12:42,504 --> 00:12:44,262
I cannot believe
the week we're having.
368
00:12:44,413 --> 00:12:46,155
Stacy B. hasn't called me
a muska-weird even once
369
00:12:46,249 --> 00:12:48,674
since Jill's makeover,
and our lunch table is
370
00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:50,159
absolutely popping off.
371
00:12:50,253 --> 00:12:51,752
Do you guys think
we should sell tickets?
372
00:12:51,846 --> 00:12:53,420
To sit with us? No,
you're right, not yet, not yet.
373
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,015
Can you even imagine rolling
into The Bon Voyage Bonfire
374
00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:58,501
-tonight with this momentum?
-I'm gonna go see about getting
375
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,427
more honey packets
from the lunch lady.
376
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:01,838
Buzz right back.
377
00:13:01,856 --> 00:13:05,099
Hey, Jill, big news,
you're sitting with us today.
378
00:13:05,176 --> 00:13:07,343
Okay, but I won't share
my honey packets.
379
00:13:07,436 --> 00:13:08,861
No, no, no, no, no, no!
380
00:13:08,938 --> 00:13:11,848
Did Stacy B. really just steal
Jill away to sit with her?
381
00:13:11,866 --> 00:13:13,699
Well, Jill does love bees,
382
00:13:13,852 --> 00:13:15,034
so this works on
a lot of levels.
383
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:18,704
No, no. She can't have Jill,
too. I can fix this.
384
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,781
-I have to.
-Let it go, Jude.
385
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,041
-Judy!
-Oh, no.
386
00:13:22,193 --> 00:13:24,710
(clears throat) Hello,
it's me, Judy Tobin.
387
00:13:24,863 --> 00:13:26,529
-Jill's friend.
-Jill's friend?
388
00:13:26,622 --> 00:13:29,623
(chuckles):
Anyway, I just wanted to address
the elephant in the room.
389
00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:30,958
Yes, the rumors are true.
390
00:13:31,052 --> 00:13:32,385
Jill just sat down
with Stacy B.
391
00:13:32,537 --> 00:13:33,812
I can't believe
this is happening
392
00:13:33,963 --> 00:13:35,054
during my birthday month.
393
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:38,132
-What a gift.
-But Jill is still our friend.
394
00:13:38,226 --> 00:13:40,543
She's not leaving us
for Stacy B. or whatever.
395
00:13:40,636 --> 00:13:42,303
She will be back
with us very soon,
396
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,896
and a thank you,
and, um, and drive safe.
397
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,883
And, uh, come on back, Jill.
398
00:13:46,976 --> 00:13:48,217
(scoffs) Let's get
out of here, Jill.
399
00:13:48,311 --> 00:13:49,735
I have a piece of toast
in my locker
400
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,721
that looks exactly
like Shawn Mendes.
401
00:13:51,739 --> 00:13:52,889
It's gonna blow your mind.
402
00:13:52,982 --> 00:13:54,165
Okay. Well,
she's just gonna go,
403
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,501
and then we'll go, and then
we'll all see her later.
404
00:13:56,728 --> 00:13:58,394
(laughs nervously)
405
00:13:58,413 --> 00:14:01,230
-Well, that was
probably fine, right?
-Judy, no.
406
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:03,341
It wasn't fine.
It was embarrassing and bad.
407
00:14:03,568 --> 00:14:05,510
Yeah, seriously, Judy,
let it go.
408
00:14:05,737 --> 00:14:06,903
I'm sorry, but no!
409
00:14:06,996 --> 00:14:08,680
The days of Stacy B.
treating me like garbage
410
00:14:08,907 --> 00:14:09,922
have to be over.
411
00:14:10,075 --> 00:14:11,665
I know where she hangs out
after school.
412
00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:13,334
Let's just please go there
later and get Jill back
413
00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:14,835
in time for
the Bon Voyage Bonfire.
414
00:14:15,004 --> 00:14:16,704
We're finally getting cool.
415
00:14:16,706 --> 00:14:18,505
-Please?
-Geez, Judy, fine.
416
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,674
Okay, I'll go physically,
but mentally I'm gonna be
417
00:14:20,768 --> 00:14:23,269
at my favorite place: the bulk
bins in the grocery store,
418
00:14:23,421 --> 00:14:26,865
sticking my hands in the malt
balls because it feels great.
419
00:14:27,016 --> 00:14:29,350
Hello, Paulie,
how are you today?
420
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,369
In the middle of
a particularly riveting episode
421
00:14:31,596 --> 00:14:33,187
of Pretty Little Liars,
that's how I am.
422
00:14:33,281 --> 00:14:35,264
-Now, can I help you
with something?
-I hope so.
423
00:14:35,358 --> 00:14:37,041
I accidentally
threw away a cactus, and...
424
00:14:37,193 --> 00:14:39,769
-(gasps) I can't believe it.
-Yeah, it's stressful.
425
00:14:39,787 --> 00:14:42,529
One of the Pretty Little Liars
just dropped a huge truth bomb.
426
00:14:42,607 --> 00:14:44,273
Don't see that every day.
Now, what's going on?
427
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:47,293
Paulie, we just need to get back
some of the trash I dropped off,
428
00:14:47,445 --> 00:14:51,614
-to retrieve
something important.
-A.D.A.F., bud.
429
00:14:51,707 --> 00:14:53,282
Oh, man. Oh, man.
430
00:14:53,301 --> 00:14:54,800
Hmm. We're not beaten yet.
431
00:14:54,969 --> 00:14:56,710
I happen to know
a secret way in.
432
00:14:56,804 --> 00:14:58,229
Let's get that cac back.
433
00:14:58,381 --> 00:15:00,899
You know, bees actually have
big hearts, emotionally,
434
00:15:01,050 --> 00:15:02,417
but tiny hearts, physically,
435
00:15:02,477 --> 00:15:04,310
which often explode
during times of stress.
436
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,146
Ugh! Like, take a Xanax
and get in the hot tub, bees.
437
00:15:07,298 --> 00:15:09,574
Uh, if you ever put a bee
in a hot tub, miss lady,
438
00:15:09,725 --> 00:15:11,634
I'll rip your wings off
and feed you your own stinger.
439
00:15:11,653 --> 00:15:14,153
Ugh! Stacy B.'s just doing this
to get back at me!
440
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,414
She doesn't even like bees!
It makes me sick.
441
00:15:16,565 --> 00:15:18,157
You know what
makes me sick, Judy?
442
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,752
The thought of missing Kima's
mom's tater tot casserole.
443
00:15:20,828 --> 00:15:22,662
So, what exactly
is the plan here?
444
00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:25,239
-Well, I'm gonna go out
there and tell Jill--
-STACY B.: Oh, my God.
445
00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:27,091
Is that The Three Muska-weirds?
446
00:15:27,318 --> 00:15:29,910
Did you follow us here?
That is beyond.
447
00:15:30,004 --> 00:15:31,429
Actually, uh, no,
we didn't follow you here.
448
00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:33,247
We came here independently
to check on...
449
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,658
the wind, and
it sure is blowing, so okay.
450
00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:37,677
Anyway, while we're here,
Jill, you should know
451
00:15:37,829 --> 00:15:40,179
that Stacy is only hanging out
with you to get back at me.
452
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,922
She's trying to make sure
I go back
453
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,000
to being a loser
who gets called names
454
00:15:44,018 --> 00:15:45,685
and doesn't have friends, so...
455
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,761
Wait, "doesn't have friends"?
456
00:15:47,855 --> 00:15:49,839
Yeah, I thought we were
humiliating ourselves
457
00:15:49,857 --> 00:15:51,098
on this freezing cold dock
458
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,359
so our friend could prove
some dumb point.
459
00:15:53,511 --> 00:15:54,827
-I guess not.
-Wait, no. Come on.
460
00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:56,437
-That's not fair.
-Save it, Judy.
461
00:15:56,531 --> 00:15:58,272
We're supposed to be
three queens,
462
00:15:58,366 --> 00:16:00,850
but you just treated us
like worker drones.
463
00:16:00,868 --> 00:16:02,201
Ugh, I can't believe
I accidentally
464
00:16:02,353 --> 00:16:04,687
learned this much about bees!
Let's go, Kima.
465
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:07,239
Uh, there would never be
three queen bees, Amelia!
466
00:16:07,391 --> 00:16:08,800
The hatched queen would kill
the other two
467
00:16:09,027 --> 00:16:10,876
by stinging them.
(burps) Ooh.
468
00:16:11,029 --> 00:16:13,638
This hot chocolate
makes me burp.
469
00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:15,564
Aha! Bingo.
470
00:16:15,566 --> 00:16:17,642
I cut this slit
in December 1999,
471
00:16:17,869 --> 00:16:19,051
after I lost my keys
472
00:16:19,204 --> 00:16:22,038
at a particularly wild
Dump-2-K party.
473
00:16:22,131 --> 00:16:24,131
Crushed a lot of
computers that night.
474
00:16:24,209 --> 00:16:25,149
And a lot of Zimas.
475
00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:26,709
(chuckles):
We felt so free.
476
00:16:26,728 --> 00:16:28,728
Kind of cool to be
at the dump at night, huh?
477
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,063
I wish I had fewer cockroaches
in my pant legs,
478
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,639
but overall, not bad.
479
00:16:32,734 --> 00:16:33,899
Put her in park, son.
480
00:16:34,052 --> 00:16:35,827
This is where they dump
the newest trash.
481
00:16:35,978 --> 00:16:38,070
Dad, look,
that's got to be our stuff!
482
00:16:38,223 --> 00:16:41,073
Yup, glad I bought those
hot pink trash bags on sale.
483
00:16:41,242 --> 00:16:42,908
I was a little afraid
they would make our garbage
484
00:16:43,061 --> 00:16:45,578
look too flirty
but sure paying off.
485
00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:47,413
Robert? Dad, I found Robert!
486
00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:49,173
-Oh, no, he's...
-PAULIE: Hey, stop right there!
487
00:16:49,325 --> 00:16:50,733
I'm putting you in dump jail!
488
00:16:50,752 --> 00:16:52,993
Ham, run.
Dump jail is awful.
489
00:16:53,087 --> 00:16:55,071
I got an update
on the salmon count,
490
00:16:55,164 --> 00:16:57,164
-if anybody is interested.
-No, Walt.
-No, Dad.
491
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,665
(clears throat)
Don't mind me, um, uh,
492
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,502
just gonna grab my stuff
for the bonfire and go.
493
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,745
Yeah, good, go.
494
00:17:02,914 --> 00:17:04,171
Okay, I know a fight
when I see one.
495
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,249
What's going on here?
And where's bee girl?
496
00:17:06,267 --> 00:17:10,010
(crying):
We did have a fight,
and we lost the bee girl!
497
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,771
Uh-oh,
should I call Chief Edna?
498
00:17:11,923 --> 00:17:13,847
We didn't literally lose her.
499
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,441
We lost her to Stacy B.
500
00:17:15,593 --> 00:17:18,594
And then I lost
two other friends,
501
00:17:18,613 --> 00:17:20,112
because I, Judy Tobin,
502
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,875
am just in general
terrible at friends!
503
00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:25,618
(crying)
504
00:17:25,694 --> 00:17:27,119
Uh, sorry you suck
at being a teen girl
505
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,338
and everything,
but shotgun on those tots.
506
00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:36,128
-(sobbing)
-What in the hell is going on?
507
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:38,539
What's going on is
that Judy is so obsessed
508
00:17:38,633 --> 00:17:40,374
with proving some dumb point
to Stacy B.
509
00:17:40,468 --> 00:17:41,801
that she basically forgot
we existed
510
00:17:41,953 --> 00:17:43,377
and said she had "no friends."
511
00:17:43,471 --> 00:17:45,546
I did not!
I mean, I did, but...
512
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,582
Judy, these two girls would do
anything for you
513
00:17:47,642 --> 00:17:48,974
and to take them for granted
like that,
514
00:17:49,051 --> 00:17:50,735
well, you're being
a real douche.
515
00:17:50,886 --> 00:17:52,886
-Thank you.
-Not so fast. You two?
516
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:55,615
-Also being douches.
-Yeah, Kima,
stop being a douche.
517
00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:57,817
-Dane, go to your room.
-Are you kidding me? I'm 19.
518
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,652
-Room.
-(scoffs) Fine.
519
00:17:59,804 --> 00:18:01,971
As I was saying, Judy here
is going through some biz,
520
00:18:02,064 --> 00:18:03,915
and when your friends
go through biz,
521
00:18:04,142 --> 00:18:05,808
you don't ice them out
like this.
522
00:18:05,827 --> 00:18:07,401
Understood?
When you have a husband
523
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,403
who pretty much
only likes to talk about
524
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,497
-how the world's about to end...
-It is.
525
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,424
...you realize one thing:
life is short,
526
00:18:13,651 --> 00:18:16,076
and you got to hang on
to your real friends.
527
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,929
What matters is something
you girls already have,
528
00:18:18,156 --> 00:18:20,823
-and it's right here
in front of you.
-I'm sorry.
529
00:18:20,842 --> 00:18:22,583
-Me, too.
-Me three.
530
00:18:22,677 --> 00:18:24,102
I just don't understand, Judy.
531
00:18:24,253 --> 00:18:26,846
We usually don't care
about being popular or cool,
532
00:18:26,998 --> 00:18:29,181
but suddenly
it's all you can talk about.
533
00:18:29,334 --> 00:18:31,667
Ugh! Stacy B. brings that
out in me!
534
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,093
She's my Achilles' heel.
535
00:18:33,171 --> 00:18:34,595
Or maybe my Achilles' toe,
because that's
536
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,930
where that stupid
BFF toe ring still is.
537
00:18:37,024 --> 00:18:39,266
Judy, Stacy B.
is a nonsense person.
538
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,601
Let her have her popularity.
539
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:42,769
For someone like her,
high school is their time.
540
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,272
After high school, you know
what's waiting for her?
541
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,608
Nothing. She's peaked.
It's all downhill after that.
542
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,127
You know who else
it's all downhill for?
543
00:18:49,354 --> 00:18:51,354
-Mother Earth.
-Absolutely not, Walter.
544
00:18:51,356 --> 00:18:52,705
-Understood.
-Now eat up.
545
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,039
And if you go to
that party later,
546
00:18:54,192 --> 00:18:55,466
please make sure
the bee girl's all right.
547
00:18:55,693 --> 00:18:57,084
I saw her try
to sting the neighbor.
548
00:18:57,195 --> 00:18:58,952
She chased him
for a good five minutes.
549
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:00,638
She shouldn't be unsupervised.
550
00:19:00,865 --> 00:19:03,123
(giggles) That's gonna make
dropping off our trash
551
00:19:03,217 --> 00:19:05,701
a little awkward
but sure was worth it.
552
00:19:05,870 --> 00:19:07,219
Ham? Everything okay, son?
553
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,296
No, I killed Crispin's cactus.
554
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:12,650
Oh, no, son, are you worried
that Crispin will be mad at you?
555
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:15,987
I mean, yeah, he might be
a little for a minute,
556
00:19:16,138 --> 00:19:18,156
but our relationship
is super strong.
557
00:19:18,383 --> 00:19:21,475
I'll say I'm sorry,
and he'll be okay.
558
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,144
So then,
what are you worried about?
559
00:19:24,238 --> 00:19:26,647
I'm worried about this guy, Dad.
560
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,499
Me, your son, Ham.
561
00:19:28,651 --> 00:19:30,726
I know I'm only 16,
and it's a little weird,
562
00:19:30,819 --> 00:19:32,170
but I think about wanting kids
someday,
563
00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:33,820
as, like,
a life goal, but...
564
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,080
but remember
when I won that goldfish
565
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,508
at the fish toss
and forgot to feed it?
566
00:19:37,735 --> 00:19:38,901
-You were eight.
-Uh-huh.
567
00:19:38,994 --> 00:19:40,403
How that time I watched Moon,
568
00:19:40,496 --> 00:19:42,129
and he ate, like, a whole pie.
569
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,089
He's an unstoppable
dessert hole,
570
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,926
-consuming
all that surrounds him.
-Yeah, but...
571
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,594
those things,
and now this.
572
00:19:48,746 --> 00:19:50,688
If I'm not responsible enough
to keep a cactus alive,
573
00:19:50,915 --> 00:19:53,082
there's no way I should have
an actual human baby.
574
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:55,526
Oh, Ham,
just because you killed a cactus
575
00:19:55,678 --> 00:19:57,678
doesn't mean you won't be
a good dad someday.
576
00:19:57,755 --> 00:20:00,606
Look at me. I used to lose
my keys and use cable cutters
577
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,091
to break into my own job.
578
00:20:02,109 --> 00:20:03,868
But then,
eventually I grew up.
579
00:20:04,095 --> 00:20:07,187
And then one day, I was ready
to take care of you kids.
580
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,040
I mean, I wasn't,
but I had to.
581
00:20:09,191 --> 00:20:11,542
And then I was.
That'll happen to you, too, Ham.
582
00:20:11,652 --> 00:20:14,361
-Just give it time.
-Thanks, Dad. I love you.
583
00:20:14,455 --> 00:20:16,455
I guess I ought to text Crispin.
584
00:20:16,607 --> 00:20:17,606
"Hi, Crispin.
585
00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:19,792
"I'm sorry to tell you
that Robert went
586
00:20:19,944 --> 00:20:21,293
to the big desert in the sky."
587
00:20:21,446 --> 00:20:25,890
Cactus emoji, ghost emoji,
shrug emoji, heart emoji.
588
00:20:26,041 --> 00:20:27,040
And an eggplant.
589
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,951
You know, just to keep it fun.
Send.
590
00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:32,212
See you in hell,
Roger the Friendly Starfish.
591
00:20:32,306 --> 00:20:34,123
Bon voyage, birth certificate.
592
00:20:34,141 --> 00:20:36,292
This will definitely
stir things up at home.
593
00:20:36,385 --> 00:20:38,477
-Whose son even am I?
-Is that...?
594
00:20:38,629 --> 00:20:40,905
My best friends forever toe ring
from Stacy B.?
595
00:20:41,132 --> 00:20:43,223
You bet it is.
It took a lot of baby oil,
596
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,076
but I wrestled it off
in Kima's bathroom after dinner.
597
00:20:45,227 --> 00:20:46,969
Bon voyage, Stacy B.
598
00:20:46,988 --> 00:20:49,247
Yeah, bon voyage, dumbass.
599
00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:51,140
Bon voyage, Stacy's phone.
600
00:20:51,233 --> 00:20:52,491
What the...? What?
601
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,751
You said you were getting
too many texts.
602
00:20:53,902 --> 00:20:55,253
-I was helping you.
-(screams)
603
00:20:55,404 --> 00:20:58,572
All right, let's be
good friends and go save Jill.
604
00:20:58,666 --> 00:21:00,499
♪ They don't want us
to be together ♪
605
00:21:00,651 --> 00:21:02,818
♪ They say we don't work,
like wet weather and leather ♪
606
00:21:02,837 --> 00:21:04,077
♪ But when I stick my hands in ♪
607
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,746
♪ I feel a joy that's all mine ♪
608
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,080
♪ The soothing movin' rhythm
of malt balls ♪
609
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,991
♪ Makes me freeze in time ♪
610
00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:10,601
♪ It may be unsanitary ♪
611
00:21:10,753 --> 00:21:13,253
♪ And it may
technically be a crime ♪
612
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,773
♪ Oh, a dip
in the mothball bin ♪
613
00:21:15,924 --> 00:21:18,276
♪ Sounds absolutely divine ♪
614
00:21:18,427 --> 00:21:20,093
♪ A perfect match
like Alice Toklas ♪
615
00:21:20,262 --> 00:21:22,262
♪ And her sweetie pie
Gertrude Stein ♪
616
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,431
♪ I feel like I've died
and gone to heaven ♪
617
00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:28,452
♪ 'Cause, baby, my hands are
in the bulk bin. ♪
618
00:21:28,645 --> 00:21:30,771
Captioning sponsored by
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619
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