1 00:00:01,485 --> 00:00:04,670 -♪ Look up there ♪ -♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:06,154 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,581 -♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:10,250 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,904 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:14,073 --> 00:00:15,014 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:15,165 --> 00:00:16,682 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:16,833 --> 00:00:17,850 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:18,077 --> 00:00:21,186 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:21,413 --> 00:00:22,913 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:22,931 --> 00:00:24,189 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:24,416 --> 00:00:25,916 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:29,987 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:31,681 --> 00:00:33,449 (cheering) 15 00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:37,761 Oh, my God. The vibe in the cafeteria today 16 00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:39,096 is electric. 17 00:00:39,114 --> 00:00:42,099 I can't believe the lower 48 exchange student 18 00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:43,617 from our sister city of Long Grove, Illinois 19 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:44,710 arrives next week. 20 00:00:44,861 --> 00:00:46,194 Oh, right. You know, as someone 21 00:00:46,288 --> 00:00:47,954 who until this year was homeschooled, 22 00:00:48,107 --> 00:00:50,274 I cannot wait to taste that fresh meat. 23 00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:51,775 Sorry, I know not to call her fresh meat, 24 00:00:51,868 --> 00:00:53,201 but it's just fun to say. 25 00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:54,961 -Fresh meat. -And Long Grove is just 26 00:00:55,114 --> 00:00:56,797 an hour outside of Chicago, so that meat 27 00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:58,615 is gonna be bringing the sophistication 28 00:00:58,634 --> 00:00:59,874 in her meat pockets. 29 00:00:59,968 --> 00:01:01,785 Sorry, I know I should also not say that. 30 00:01:01,804 --> 00:01:03,395 Remember how last year's student-slash-meat had 31 00:01:03,547 --> 00:01:06,290 a fake ID and just casually brought red wine 32 00:01:06,308 --> 00:01:08,642 to the Bon Voyage Bonfire at the end of the week? 33 00:01:08,794 --> 00:01:11,628 It was so cool and also got a lot of people suspended. 34 00:01:11,721 --> 00:01:13,739 It's so rad that my family won the lottery to host. 35 00:01:13,849 --> 00:01:15,074 I know! 36 00:01:15,301 --> 00:01:17,651 Can you imagine rolling into the Bon Voyage Bonfire 37 00:01:17,727 --> 00:01:20,079 with this incredible, big city sophisticate on our arms 38 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,748 after spending a week becoming her closest friends? 39 00:01:22,899 --> 00:01:24,416 I don't want to get ahead of ourselves, 40 00:01:24,568 --> 00:01:26,109 but it might make us cool forever 41 00:01:26,161 --> 00:01:28,478 and finally get Stacy B. to leave us alone. 42 00:01:28,497 --> 00:01:30,163 Look at my former best friend over there 43 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:33,092 with all her-- pfft-- already popular friends. 44 00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:34,501 I bet she's furious that 45 00:01:34,653 --> 00:01:36,077 the exchange student will be in our group. 46 00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:37,504 She'll have to stop calling us the... 47 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,005 -The Three Muska-weirds! -(others gasp) 48 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,340 What are you guys even doing? 49 00:01:40,492 --> 00:01:41,675 Probably something super weird. 50 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,343 Eating a bowl of finger nails? 51 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,011 That's what I heard from when I told everyone that. 52 00:01:45,164 --> 00:01:46,588 Ugh, you know what we're doing. 53 00:01:46,682 --> 00:01:48,181 We're eating lunch, which isn't weird. 54 00:01:48,334 --> 00:01:50,925 Yeah, everybody does it, except maybe those who... 55 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,093 had, like, a large breakfast. 56 00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,612 But most people, they eat lunch. 57 00:01:53,763 --> 00:01:56,598 -Thanks for the lecture, Dr. Lunch. -You're welcome. 58 00:01:56,692 --> 00:01:58,358 Uh, no, actually not. You don't get to give me 59 00:01:58,452 --> 00:01:59,843 another stupid nickname, 60 00:01:59,862 --> 00:02:02,103 and also stop calling us "The Three Muska-weirds." 61 00:02:02,197 --> 00:02:03,847 I bet you haven't even read the book 62 00:02:03,940 --> 00:02:05,015 that you're basing that insult on. 63 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,700 What are you talking about, Judy? 64 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,702 I based it on a candy bar. Bye... 65 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,111 Ugh, she's so mean. 66 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:11,705 But pretty soon there will be four of us, 67 00:02:11,857 --> 00:02:13,707 and she can't call us The Four Muska-weirds. 68 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,542 She absolutely can call us that. 69 00:02:15,694 --> 00:02:17,544 But overall things are looking up. 70 00:02:17,696 --> 00:02:19,045 HAM: Did you get "A" 71 00:02:19,198 --> 00:02:20,139 for number four? 72 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,624 Uh, because I'm also feeling "B" and "C." 73 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:26,794 -And honestly, "D" has a little something going for her. -It's "C." 74 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,706 And that's why you have the highest GPA in our grade 75 00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:32,133 and get to go to Illinois on the exchange program. 76 00:02:32,227 --> 00:02:33,468 -Are you jazzed? -Of course. 77 00:02:33,562 --> 00:02:35,212 Who doesn't want to see Long Grove, 78 00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:36,638 home of the longest grove? 79 00:02:36,732 --> 00:02:37,823 Oop, before I forget. 80 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:38,973 I wanted to leave you with something 81 00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:40,567 to remember me by while I'm gone, 82 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,052 so I found this handsome little devil 83 00:02:42,145 --> 00:02:44,145 at the garden center, and I was wondering 84 00:02:44,239 --> 00:02:46,556 if you'd like to cactus-sit him while I'm gone. 85 00:02:46,558 --> 00:02:50,169 Oh. He is... so cute and sharp. 86 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,729 I named him Robert. Robert Plant-inson. 87 00:02:52,822 --> 00:02:55,248 You know I am very slightly afraid of cactuses, 88 00:02:55,401 --> 00:02:57,342 but this one is so small, 89 00:02:57,569 --> 00:03:00,179 and I have always thought about having kids, 90 00:03:00,297 --> 00:03:03,089 so cactus-sitting sounds like an easy way to practice, 91 00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:05,667 especially if I have a baby with thorns one day. 92 00:03:05,761 --> 00:03:08,836 Now, what are we thinking on this next one? "A," maybe "C"? 93 00:03:08,931 --> 00:03:10,414 -It's "B." -I knew it! 94 00:03:10,432 --> 00:03:13,007 Thanks again for letting us sleep over all week, Esther. 95 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,026 Of course, girls, we've already got 96 00:03:14,177 --> 00:03:15,919 -Kima's cousin here. -Nasty. 97 00:03:15,921 --> 00:03:17,754 Uh, you mispronounced "extremely cool." 98 00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:20,032 Uh, you mispronounced "My name is Dane, 99 00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:22,426 "and my farts smells like gasoline-soaked Cheetos 100 00:03:22,444 --> 00:03:23,702 "that someone ate and then threw up 101 00:03:23,929 --> 00:03:25,095 "and then someone ate that barf 102 00:03:25,113 --> 00:03:26,688 and then farted again after that." 103 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,207 Kima, stop. Although, Dane, 104 00:03:28,358 --> 00:03:30,267 -your farts really are a mess. -Thank you, Uncle Walt. 105 00:03:30,285 --> 00:03:31,877 So, you dweebs are staying here all week 106 00:03:32,104 --> 00:03:33,770 just to hang out with someone from-- 107 00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:35,214 checks notes-- Illi-nerd? 108 00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:38,032 (laughs) Why do I hate it when Stacy makes fun of me, 109 00:03:38,126 --> 00:03:39,867 but I love it when Dane makes fun of me? 110 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,962 Because I'm like the guys from Jackass, 111 00:03:42,114 --> 00:03:43,705 a little wild but a lot lovable. 112 00:03:43,799 --> 00:03:45,131 Judy, no, Dane's gross. 113 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,208 And he has a tattoo of Garfield saying "no worries" 114 00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:49,043 -on his calf. -Roasted. 115 00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:50,971 You know who else is getting roasted pretty bad? 116 00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:52,880 Only in not such a fun way? 117 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,124 BOTH: Mother Earth. 118 00:03:54,142 --> 00:03:55,308 Dad, we all get it. 119 00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:56,551 You're a climate scientist, 120 00:03:56,645 --> 00:03:58,295 but also you're preaching to the choir. 121 00:03:58,388 --> 00:03:59,905 We're the ones that are gonna get broiled alive. 122 00:04:00,132 --> 00:04:01,465 It's a bummer. 123 00:04:01,483 --> 00:04:02,557 Oh, sorry. 124 00:04:02,651 --> 00:04:04,134 Is it a bummer that at this pace, 125 00:04:04,152 --> 00:04:05,986 your mother and the other Alaskan smoke jumpers up here 126 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,913 are gonna be fighting wildfires year-round? 127 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,915 Is it a bummer that whole pods of seals 128 00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:11,324 are dying because the sea ice 129 00:04:11,477 --> 00:04:12,659 off Biorka Island is thinner than a... 130 00:04:12,811 --> 00:04:14,235 -Walt, cool it. -Fine. 131 00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,146 But you know what's cooling way too fast? 132 00:04:16,164 --> 00:04:17,572 -Oh, my God. -Stop. -Let us eat, Walt. 133 00:04:17,666 --> 00:04:18,999 So guys, for real, 134 00:04:19,151 --> 00:04:20,166 what do we know about the Illi-nerd? 135 00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:21,426 Esther! All we know is 136 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,153 that she's probably very sophisticated 137 00:04:23,246 --> 00:04:24,838 and her shine will get all over us, 138 00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:27,324 and Stacy B. will stop calling us The Three Musk-a-weirds. 139 00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:29,175 What is Stacy B.'s problem with you three, anyway? 140 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:31,678 It's not Stacy B.'s problem with us three, 141 00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:33,346 it's really just... me. 142 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,440 See, all through childhood, me and Stacy B. were best friends. 143 00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:37,609 We even had matching BFF toe rings. 144 00:04:37,761 --> 00:04:40,094 But then, as we got older, things changed, 145 00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:42,430 and it all came to a head one day at school. 146 00:04:42,524 --> 00:04:44,283 She had already disinvited me from her birthday party, 147 00:04:44,434 --> 00:04:46,176 which was weird because it was happening at my house. 148 00:04:46,269 --> 00:04:49,195 But then I made the fatal error of coming to school 149 00:04:49,348 --> 00:04:50,847 in a very fun airbrushed T-shirt 150 00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:53,274 where the "U" in my name was replaced by a rainbow. 151 00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:57,521 And out of nowhere, Stacy B. turned to me and said... 152 00:04:57,539 --> 00:04:58,630 Are you wearing a shirt 153 00:04:58,857 --> 00:05:00,073 with your own name on it 154 00:05:00,225 --> 00:05:01,691 where the "U" is replaced by a rainbow? 155 00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:03,117 (laughter) 156 00:05:03,244 --> 00:05:04,636 AMELIA: Oof. If there's one thing I've learned 157 00:05:04,863 --> 00:05:06,046 from C.J. on The West Wing, 158 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,122 it's that a well-timed rhetorical question 159 00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:09,791 can cut very deep. 160 00:05:09,868 --> 00:05:13,036 All she did was point out a fact, but a line was drawn. 161 00:05:13,129 --> 00:05:15,314 Stacy left me behind, and I never understood it. 162 00:05:15,541 --> 00:05:18,633 And I couldn't even bring myself to take my BFF toe ring off, 163 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,227 and it really hurts, because it got very tight. 164 00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:22,637 And also, it hurts emotionally 165 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,381 because she didn't want to be my friend anymore. 166 00:05:24,399 --> 00:05:25,398 Both things are unpleasant! 167 00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:26,974 Well, when Chicago Jill gets here, 168 00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:29,052 she's gonna take us from The Three Muska-weirds 169 00:05:29,221 --> 00:05:32,222 to the four muska-cool-girls you respect too much to bully. 170 00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:34,574 Just like Dane's calf-Garfield says: "No worries." 171 00:05:34,726 --> 00:05:36,076 -(grunts) -Ah. Ah. 172 00:05:36,228 --> 00:05:38,411 GIBBONS: Attention, let's kick off 173 00:05:38,564 --> 00:05:40,172 this full week of out-of-town fun 174 00:05:40,323 --> 00:05:43,991 from today Meet-Ya-Monday to Friday's Bon Voyage Bonfire. 175 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,678 It's my honor to present Lone Moose's annual 176 00:05:46,905 --> 00:05:48,996 "Lower 48 Exchange Student." 177 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,241 And now, without further ado... 178 00:05:51,259 --> 00:05:52,742 This is further ado. 179 00:05:52,761 --> 00:05:55,520 What you're doing right now is textbook further ado. 180 00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:59,265 -Oh, well, ado apologize. -Mm-mm. Yuck. 181 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,527 Well, I liked it. Anyway, here's Jill Gerbert-Erble. 182 00:06:02,679 --> 00:06:06,681 Oh, man. Here she comes in her leather jacket and heels. 183 00:06:06,775 --> 00:06:08,516 Uh... Jill? Huh. 184 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,093 She told me she wanted to make a big entran-- 185 00:06:10,112 --> 00:06:11,595 -(upbeat music plays) -Oh, here we go. 186 00:06:11,597 --> 00:06:12,854 (imitates fanfare) 187 00:06:13,022 --> 00:06:16,041 Rub your antennas together for the Queen Bee! 188 00:06:16,192 --> 00:06:18,284 Thank you, sir, however, I am not, nor will I ever be, 189 00:06:18,437 --> 00:06:19,769 comfortable sharing the stage. 190 00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:21,028 Please step back. 191 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,106 Now, who's ready to take a Jill Pill? 192 00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:26,443 Side effects include: diah-respect for bees. 193 00:06:26,536 --> 00:06:27,535 Oh, no. 194 00:06:27,704 --> 00:06:28,778 You're probably wondering 195 00:06:28,872 --> 00:06:30,204 what my life is like back home, 196 00:06:30,282 --> 00:06:31,798 on the Gerbert-Erble Family Bee Farm. 197 00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:33,800 So let me tell you: amazing. 198 00:06:33,952 --> 00:06:35,619 Um, what is happening? 199 00:06:35,637 --> 00:06:38,121 The Gerbert-Erble Family Bee Farm is located 45 minutes 200 00:06:38,214 --> 00:06:39,472 outside of Long Grove, 201 00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:41,474 in an unincorporated hamlet called Beesville. 202 00:06:41,627 --> 00:06:43,718 My school is in Long Grove, my online school. 203 00:06:43,795 --> 00:06:45,070 I go twice a year to take exams. 204 00:06:45,297 --> 00:06:47,297 Have you ever even been to Chicago? 205 00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:49,466 (scoffs) Why? So I can get trampled to death 206 00:06:49,484 --> 00:06:51,743 by all the improv actors sprinting to get in line 207 00:06:51,895 --> 00:06:53,394 for deep dish pizzas? No, thank you. 208 00:06:53,488 --> 00:06:55,655 Of course, this absolute bizarro is staying 209 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,082 with The Three Muska-weirds. 210 00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,566 I bet they're gonna spend the whole week 211 00:06:58,660 --> 00:06:59,734 holding hands on the toilet. 212 00:06:59,828 --> 00:07:00,902 (laughs) Freaks. 213 00:07:00,996 --> 00:07:03,237 It's like my rainbow T-shirt came to life 214 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,132 and lives on a bee farm. 215 00:07:09,504 --> 00:07:11,078 So, you guys are staying here all week just to be with moi? 216 00:07:11,173 --> 00:07:12,505 It's like a little hive and I'm the queen. 217 00:07:12,658 --> 00:07:13,990 Oh, okay, so, the bee thing is like... 218 00:07:14,083 --> 00:07:15,675 this is, like, your whole personality? 219 00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:17,677 -Cool. -Now, Mrs. Esther and Mr. Walter, 220 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,420 where do you keep your honey carafe? 221 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,165 -Oh, for... what? -(laughs): Okay, Walt. 222 00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:24,592 Like we were gonna have tacos without honey? 223 00:07:24,686 --> 00:07:26,002 -You big clown. -What? 224 00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:28,930 Dad, Jill, um, loves honey and bees, 225 00:07:29,098 --> 00:07:30,932 and actually has a super interesting life 226 00:07:31,026 --> 00:07:33,359 back on her family's bee farm, so... 227 00:07:33,512 --> 00:07:34,769 Wait a second. A farm? 228 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,271 Not Chicago? I thought you were a big-city big shot? 229 00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:38,790 I am something of a big shot. 230 00:07:38,942 --> 00:07:40,292 Not to buzz my own hind wings, 231 00:07:40,519 --> 00:07:42,961 but I'm, uh, in charge of a whole section of the apiary. 232 00:07:43,188 --> 00:07:46,113 Ooh. Oh, no. Mrs. Esther, where is the nearest toilet? 233 00:07:46,191 --> 00:07:47,466 Just down that hallway on the left. 234 00:07:47,617 --> 00:07:49,192 Please do not wait for me to eat the tacos. 235 00:07:49,211 --> 00:07:51,786 The TSA seized my water bottle full of honey, 236 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,287 and, without my daily dose, 237 00:07:53,381 --> 00:07:55,715 oof, my bowels have been thrown for quite a loop. 238 00:07:55,867 --> 00:07:57,701 Okay, go ahead. You can say it. 239 00:07:57,719 --> 00:08:00,036 We're The Four Muska-weirds now. This blows. 240 00:08:00,129 --> 00:08:01,871 Come on, Judy, she's definitely odd, 241 00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:03,723 but she's only here five days. 242 00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:05,225 And we shouldn't make her feel weird. 243 00:08:05,377 --> 00:08:06,893 Yeah, maybe we'll turn her cool. 244 00:08:07,062 --> 00:08:08,895 -You guys? -Dane, I will ground you. 245 00:08:09,047 --> 00:08:10,213 I'm in college. 246 00:08:10,215 --> 00:08:12,232 I mean, she certainly can't get less normal, 247 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:13,566 so I don't see a downside. 248 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,051 JILL: False alarm, that was actually 249 00:08:15,144 --> 00:08:17,329 just a very significant gas event. 250 00:08:17,556 --> 00:08:19,222 The candle you had lit in there blew right out, ma'am. 251 00:08:19,224 --> 00:08:22,559 (laughs) Now, where are we on that honey carafe? 252 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,578 All right, Robert. I'm just gonna get my homework done, 253 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,747 and you... do that. 254 00:08:27,899 --> 00:08:29,174 Ouch! Ow! 255 00:08:29,401 --> 00:08:33,995 Okay. Just gonna drape this over you carefully and-- Ow! 256 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,680 Okay, now you're being unreasonable. 257 00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:36,756 That's enough, young man. 258 00:08:36,908 --> 00:08:37,849 All right, while I have dinner, 259 00:08:38,001 --> 00:08:39,926 you sit in your little book jail 260 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,646 and think about what you've done, Robert. 261 00:08:44,599 --> 00:08:46,966 (snoring) 262 00:08:47,118 --> 00:08:48,418 (gasps) 263 00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,511 -Were you watching me sleep? -(singsongy): Only since dawn. 264 00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:53,198 I sleep bee hours, 11:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m. 265 00:08:53,349 --> 00:08:55,850 Are you ready for a wacky Waco weekend girls' trip? 266 00:08:56,019 --> 00:08:57,202 I read that in my in-flight magazine. 267 00:08:57,279 --> 00:08:58,611 I have no idea what it means, 268 00:08:58,764 --> 00:09:00,096 but I really enjoyed saying it. 269 00:09:00,115 --> 00:09:01,814 Anyway, what do we have planned for after school? 270 00:09:01,966 --> 00:09:04,543 Anything is fine with me, such as and for instance, 271 00:09:04,694 --> 00:09:06,711 there is a very exciting indoor bee farm 272 00:09:06,863 --> 00:09:08,362 in Fairbanks I'd love to see. 273 00:09:08,531 --> 00:09:11,107 It's only a nine-hour drive, but I get sick if the car goes 274 00:09:11,126 --> 00:09:13,459 over 30 miles an hour, so it will take us 18. 275 00:09:13,612 --> 00:09:15,536 Or what if instead we take you to the mall 276 00:09:15,630 --> 00:09:19,132 for new clothes and new hair, and just, like... 277 00:09:19,284 --> 00:09:21,059 -change everything about you. -Oh. -Judy! 278 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,453 (groans) What Judy is trying to say is, uh, 279 00:09:23,546 --> 00:09:25,546 on Friday, there's this event at school, 280 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,065 the Bon Voyage Bonfire, 281 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,733 and there's this fun tradition where you toss things 282 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,435 in the fire you want to let go of, 283 00:09:30,587 --> 00:09:33,129 and maybe you'd like to get a new outfit for it or something. 284 00:09:33,148 --> 00:09:36,466 Wait, are you offering me a human teen makeover? 285 00:09:36,484 --> 00:09:38,225 Offering, suggesting, demanding, 286 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,636 whatever you want to call it. 287 00:09:39,805 --> 00:09:42,080 -We're offering. -And if you happen to say... 288 00:09:42,157 --> 00:09:43,564 turn heads at school, and people wonder, 289 00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,141 "Wait, who is that exchange student, 290 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,643 and look at her normal and not weird friends!" 291 00:09:46,661 --> 00:09:49,421 Well, pfft, I don't know, that would be neat. 292 00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:50,738 Oh, my God! I accept! 293 00:09:50,832 --> 00:09:52,498 It'll "bee" my greatest honor. 294 00:09:52,651 --> 00:09:55,076 -You know, like a bee. -Yeah. we got it! We get it. We-we got it. 295 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,744 All right, after school, we'll have 296 00:09:56,838 --> 00:09:59,155 a Lone Moose Makeover Extravaganza. 297 00:09:59,324 --> 00:10:03,176 ♪ You should be your, you should be yourself ♪ 298 00:10:03,328 --> 00:10:05,328 ♪ Unless you're acting like a bee ♪ 299 00:10:05,421 --> 00:10:07,864 ♪ Then you should definitely be somebody else ♪ 300 00:10:07,866 --> 00:10:10,183 Did you know there's a hairstyle named after beehives? 301 00:10:10,335 --> 00:10:13,260 -Jill, no. -♪ Ooh, be yourself ♪ 302 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,763 ♪ Unless other people don't like it ♪ 303 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,783 ♪ Ooh, be yourself. ♪ 304 00:10:18,935 --> 00:10:20,677 Okay, two words: the dump. 305 00:10:20,695 --> 00:10:22,178 Yes. (giggles) The dump. 306 00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:23,655 Have I told you they've reinstated 307 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:24,956 their early evening hours? 308 00:10:25,108 --> 00:10:26,458 Yes, Dad. Many times. 309 00:10:26,685 --> 00:10:29,185 They haven't had evening hours since I worked there in my 20s. 310 00:10:29,204 --> 00:10:31,445 I did our trash run a whole two days early. 311 00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,465 -Your turn, Ham. -Oh, uh, sorry, one sec. 312 00:10:33,616 --> 00:10:35,375 I'm texting Crispin. "How's Robert?" 313 00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,360 Who's Robert? You know I like to meet 314 00:10:37,379 --> 00:10:39,620 all your new friends, so I can also befriend them. 315 00:10:39,698 --> 00:10:41,714 Oh, crap, I forgot I'm cactus-sitting. 316 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,217 Skip my turn, I'm gonna go snap a pic for Crispin. 317 00:10:44,369 --> 00:10:45,869 I'm up. All right, babe. 318 00:10:45,887 --> 00:10:47,962 Movie marriage mind meld, here we go. 319 00:10:48,056 --> 00:10:51,132 -Okay, you're eating, a-and it's family style. -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 320 00:10:51,226 --> 00:10:53,226 -Family is very important to you. -Mm-hmm. 321 00:10:53,378 --> 00:10:54,486 In fact, your car robbing group is 322 00:10:54,637 --> 00:10:56,303 -an awful lot like a family. -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 323 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,156 -Fast and Furious 7! -Woo-hoo! 324 00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:01,284 Robert? 325 00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:04,387 Robert! 326 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,073 -Dad, did you really go to the dump already? -Why, yes. 327 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,559 They reinstated their early evening hours, so... 328 00:11:09,577 --> 00:11:10,669 How could you?! 329 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,486 Hey, bud. Calm down. What's up? 330 00:11:12,580 --> 00:11:13,821 Oh, I don't know, 331 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,006 my own dad dropped my boyfriend's cactus 332 00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:17,509 that I promised I'd keep an eye on at the dump, 333 00:11:17,736 --> 00:11:18,993 and now it's lost forever! 334 00:11:19,087 --> 00:11:22,013 -How could you do this, Father?! -Ham, don't panic. 335 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,349 The dump's closed for the next couple of days. 336 00:11:24,576 --> 00:11:26,409 Paulie's taking Wednesday and Thursday off 337 00:11:26,428 --> 00:11:29,688 to work on his novel: Jeremy Can, Garbage Detective. 338 00:11:29,839 --> 00:11:32,265 But we can go on Friday and ask to have our trash back. 339 00:11:32,417 --> 00:11:35,101 And in the meantime, maybe send Crispin an emoji. 340 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,361 I think teens love those. 341 00:11:36,512 --> 00:11:38,679 Ooh, try shrimp or the eggplant. 342 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,031 No, Dad, the eggplant is... 343 00:11:40,183 --> 00:11:42,325 Actually, you know what, I will send him that one. 344 00:11:43,611 --> 00:11:45,036 Hello, everyone. 345 00:11:45,188 --> 00:11:48,614 Read us and weep. It's us, The Oresome Foursome. 346 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,100 That's like "awesome" but better, and it rhymes, so... 347 00:11:51,119 --> 00:11:53,953 It does rhyme, but I don't like it. 348 00:11:54,105 --> 00:11:56,881 Hello, Quay, a cool boy in our grade. 349 00:11:57,033 --> 00:11:59,551 Oh, hey, Judy. Kima. Amelia. Bee girl. 350 00:11:59,778 --> 00:12:02,111 Uh, okay, take another look. Not a bee girl. 351 00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:03,871 She's just a regular, human girl 352 00:12:03,965 --> 00:12:06,616 who is friends with us. Oh, hi, Stacy. 353 00:12:06,709 --> 00:12:08,785 -I didn't even see you there. -Oh, hey, Judy. 354 00:12:08,803 --> 00:12:10,211 Hey, Jill. You look nice. 355 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,563 Yeah, that's right, she does. 356 00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:14,807 You might even say she looks, uh, Muska-fierce. 357 00:12:14,976 --> 00:12:16,309 Mm-mm. No. Don't say that. 358 00:12:16,461 --> 00:12:18,219 Uh, excuse us! Excuse us! 359 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,647 (laughs) Lower 48 cool girl and her besties coming through. 360 00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,316 -Choo choo. -Or her best bees. 361 00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:24,576 Jill, no. No, no. 362 00:12:24,803 --> 00:12:27,996 And to think, I knew them when they were weird. 363 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,310 ♪ You should be your, you should be yourself ♪ 364 00:12:34,479 --> 00:12:36,162 ♪ Unless you're acting like a bee ♪ 365 00:12:36,331 --> 00:12:39,649 ♪ Then you should definitely be somebody else. ♪ 366 00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:42,409 See you later, Jude, and all Jude's dudes. 367 00:12:42,504 --> 00:12:44,262 I cannot believe the week we're having. 368 00:12:44,413 --> 00:12:46,155 Stacy B. hasn't called me a muska-weird even once 369 00:12:46,249 --> 00:12:48,674 since Jill's makeover, and our lunch table is 370 00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:50,159 absolutely popping off. 371 00:12:50,253 --> 00:12:51,752 Do you guys think we should sell tickets? 372 00:12:51,846 --> 00:12:53,420 To sit with us? No, you're right, not yet, not yet. 373 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,015 Can you even imagine rolling into The Bon Voyage Bonfire 374 00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:58,501 -tonight with this momentum? -I'm gonna go see about getting 375 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,427 more honey packets from the lunch lady. 376 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:01,838 Buzz right back. 377 00:13:01,856 --> 00:13:05,099 Hey, Jill, big news, you're sitting with us today. 378 00:13:05,176 --> 00:13:07,343 Okay, but I won't share my honey packets. 379 00:13:07,436 --> 00:13:08,861 No, no, no, no, no, no! 380 00:13:08,938 --> 00:13:11,848 Did Stacy B. really just steal Jill away to sit with her? 381 00:13:11,866 --> 00:13:13,699 Well, Jill does love bees, 382 00:13:13,852 --> 00:13:15,034 so this works on a lot of levels. 383 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:18,704 No, no. She can't have Jill, too. I can fix this. 384 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,781 -I have to. -Let it go, Jude. 385 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,041 -Judy! -Oh, no. 386 00:13:22,193 --> 00:13:24,710 (clears throat) Hello, it's me, Judy Tobin. 387 00:13:24,863 --> 00:13:26,529 -Jill's friend. -Jill's friend? 388 00:13:26,622 --> 00:13:29,623 (chuckles): Anyway, I just wanted to address the elephant in the room. 389 00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:30,958 Yes, the rumors are true. 390 00:13:31,052 --> 00:13:32,385 Jill just sat down with Stacy B. 391 00:13:32,537 --> 00:13:33,812 I can't believe this is happening 392 00:13:33,963 --> 00:13:35,054 during my birthday month. 393 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:38,132 -What a gift. -But Jill is still our friend. 394 00:13:38,226 --> 00:13:40,543 She's not leaving us for Stacy B. or whatever. 395 00:13:40,636 --> 00:13:42,303 She will be back with us very soon, 396 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,896 and a thank you, and, um, and drive safe. 397 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,883 And, uh, come on back, Jill. 398 00:13:46,976 --> 00:13:48,217 (scoffs) Let's get out of here, Jill. 399 00:13:48,311 --> 00:13:49,735 I have a piece of toast in my locker 400 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,721 that looks exactly like Shawn Mendes. 401 00:13:51,739 --> 00:13:52,889 It's gonna blow your mind. 402 00:13:52,982 --> 00:13:54,165 Okay. Well, she's just gonna go, 403 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,501 and then we'll go, and then we'll all see her later. 404 00:13:56,728 --> 00:13:58,394 (laughs nervously) 405 00:13:58,413 --> 00:14:01,230 -Well, that was probably fine, right? -Judy, no. 406 00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:03,341 It wasn't fine. It was embarrassing and bad. 407 00:14:03,568 --> 00:14:05,510 Yeah, seriously, Judy, let it go. 408 00:14:05,737 --> 00:14:06,903 I'm sorry, but no! 409 00:14:06,996 --> 00:14:08,680 The days of Stacy B. treating me like garbage 410 00:14:08,907 --> 00:14:09,922 have to be over. 411 00:14:10,075 --> 00:14:11,665 I know where she hangs out after school. 412 00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:13,334 Let's just please go there later and get Jill back 413 00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:14,835 in time for the Bon Voyage Bonfire. 414 00:14:15,004 --> 00:14:16,704 We're finally getting cool. 415 00:14:16,706 --> 00:14:18,505 -Please? -Geez, Judy, fine. 416 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,674 Okay, I'll go physically, but mentally I'm gonna be 417 00:14:20,768 --> 00:14:23,269 at my favorite place: the bulk bins in the grocery store, 418 00:14:23,421 --> 00:14:26,865 sticking my hands in the malt balls because it feels great. 419 00:14:27,016 --> 00:14:29,350 Hello, Paulie, how are you today? 420 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,369 In the middle of a particularly riveting episode 421 00:14:31,596 --> 00:14:33,187 of Pretty Little Liars, that's how I am. 422 00:14:33,281 --> 00:14:35,264 -Now, can I help you with something? -I hope so. 423 00:14:35,358 --> 00:14:37,041 I accidentally threw away a cactus, and... 424 00:14:37,193 --> 00:14:39,769 -(gasps) I can't believe it. -Yeah, it's stressful. 425 00:14:39,787 --> 00:14:42,529 One of the Pretty Little Liars just dropped a huge truth bomb. 426 00:14:42,607 --> 00:14:44,273 Don't see that every day. Now, what's going on? 427 00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:47,293 Paulie, we just need to get back some of the trash I dropped off, 428 00:14:47,445 --> 00:14:51,614 -to retrieve something important. -A.D.A.F., bud. 429 00:14:51,707 --> 00:14:53,282 Oh, man. Oh, man. 430 00:14:53,301 --> 00:14:54,800 Hmm. We're not beaten yet. 431 00:14:54,969 --> 00:14:56,710 I happen to know a secret way in. 432 00:14:56,804 --> 00:14:58,229 Let's get that cac back. 433 00:14:58,381 --> 00:15:00,899 You know, bees actually have big hearts, emotionally, 434 00:15:01,050 --> 00:15:02,417 but tiny hearts, physically, 435 00:15:02,477 --> 00:15:04,310 which often explode during times of stress. 436 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,146 Ugh! Like, take a Xanax and get in the hot tub, bees. 437 00:15:07,298 --> 00:15:09,574 Uh, if you ever put a bee in a hot tub, miss lady, 438 00:15:09,725 --> 00:15:11,634 I'll rip your wings off and feed you your own stinger. 439 00:15:11,653 --> 00:15:14,153 Ugh! Stacy B.'s just doing this to get back at me! 440 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,414 She doesn't even like bees! It makes me sick. 441 00:15:16,565 --> 00:15:18,157 You know what makes me sick, Judy? 442 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,752 The thought of missing Kima's mom's tater tot casserole. 443 00:15:20,828 --> 00:15:22,662 So, what exactly is the plan here? 444 00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:25,239 -Well, I'm gonna go out there and tell Jill-- -STACY B.: Oh, my God. 445 00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:27,091 Is that The Three Muska-weirds? 446 00:15:27,318 --> 00:15:29,910 Did you follow us here? That is beyond. 447 00:15:30,004 --> 00:15:31,429 Actually, uh, no, we didn't follow you here. 448 00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:33,247 We came here independently to check on... 449 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,658 the wind, and it sure is blowing, so okay. 450 00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:37,677 Anyway, while we're here, Jill, you should know 451 00:15:37,829 --> 00:15:40,179 that Stacy is only hanging out with you to get back at me. 452 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,922 She's trying to make sure I go back 453 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,000 to being a loser who gets called names 454 00:15:44,018 --> 00:15:45,685 and doesn't have friends, so... 455 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,761 Wait, "doesn't have friends"? 456 00:15:47,855 --> 00:15:49,839 Yeah, I thought we were humiliating ourselves 457 00:15:49,857 --> 00:15:51,098 on this freezing cold dock 458 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,359 so our friend could prove some dumb point. 459 00:15:53,511 --> 00:15:54,827 -I guess not. -Wait, no. Come on. 460 00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:56,437 -That's not fair. -Save it, Judy. 461 00:15:56,531 --> 00:15:58,272 We're supposed to be three queens, 462 00:15:58,366 --> 00:16:00,850 but you just treated us like worker drones. 463 00:16:00,868 --> 00:16:02,201 Ugh, I can't believe I accidentally 464 00:16:02,353 --> 00:16:04,687 learned this much about bees! Let's go, Kima. 465 00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:07,239 Uh, there would never be three queen bees, Amelia! 466 00:16:07,391 --> 00:16:08,800 The hatched queen would kill the other two 467 00:16:09,027 --> 00:16:10,876 by stinging them. (burps) Ooh. 468 00:16:11,029 --> 00:16:13,638 This hot chocolate makes me burp. 469 00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:15,564 Aha! Bingo. 470 00:16:15,566 --> 00:16:17,642 I cut this slit in December 1999, 471 00:16:17,869 --> 00:16:19,051 after I lost my keys 472 00:16:19,204 --> 00:16:22,038 at a particularly wild Dump-2-K party. 473 00:16:22,131 --> 00:16:24,131 Crushed a lot of computers that night. 474 00:16:24,209 --> 00:16:25,149 And a lot of Zimas. 475 00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:26,709 (chuckles): We felt so free. 476 00:16:26,728 --> 00:16:28,728 Kind of cool to be at the dump at night, huh? 477 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,063 I wish I had fewer cockroaches in my pant legs, 478 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,639 but overall, not bad. 479 00:16:32,734 --> 00:16:33,899 Put her in park, son. 480 00:16:34,052 --> 00:16:35,827 This is where they dump the newest trash. 481 00:16:35,978 --> 00:16:38,070 Dad, look, that's got to be our stuff! 482 00:16:38,223 --> 00:16:41,073 Yup, glad I bought those hot pink trash bags on sale. 483 00:16:41,242 --> 00:16:42,908 I was a little afraid they would make our garbage 484 00:16:43,061 --> 00:16:45,578 look too flirty but sure paying off. 485 00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:47,413 Robert? Dad, I found Robert! 486 00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:49,173 -Oh, no, he's... -PAULIE: Hey, stop right there! 487 00:16:49,325 --> 00:16:50,733 I'm putting you in dump jail! 488 00:16:50,752 --> 00:16:52,993 Ham, run. Dump jail is awful. 489 00:16:53,087 --> 00:16:55,071 I got an update on the salmon count, 490 00:16:55,164 --> 00:16:57,164 -if anybody is interested. -No, Walt. -No, Dad. 491 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,665 (clears throat) Don't mind me, um, uh, 492 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,502 just gonna grab my stuff for the bonfire and go. 493 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,745 Yeah, good, go. 494 00:17:02,914 --> 00:17:04,171 Okay, I know a fight when I see one. 495 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,249 What's going on here? And where's bee girl? 496 00:17:06,267 --> 00:17:10,010 (crying): We did have a fight, and we lost the bee girl! 497 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,771 Uh-oh, should I call Chief Edna? 498 00:17:11,923 --> 00:17:13,847 We didn't literally lose her. 499 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,441 We lost her to Stacy B. 500 00:17:15,593 --> 00:17:18,594 And then I lost two other friends, 501 00:17:18,613 --> 00:17:20,112 because I, Judy Tobin, 502 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,875 am just in general terrible at friends! 503 00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:25,618 (crying) 504 00:17:25,694 --> 00:17:27,119 Uh, sorry you suck at being a teen girl 505 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,338 and everything, but shotgun on those tots. 506 00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:36,128 -(sobbing) -What in the hell is going on? 507 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:38,539 What's going on is that Judy is so obsessed 508 00:17:38,633 --> 00:17:40,374 with proving some dumb point to Stacy B. 509 00:17:40,468 --> 00:17:41,801 that she basically forgot we existed 510 00:17:41,953 --> 00:17:43,377 and said she had "no friends." 511 00:17:43,471 --> 00:17:45,546 I did not! I mean, I did, but... 512 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,582 Judy, these two girls would do anything for you 513 00:17:47,642 --> 00:17:48,974 and to take them for granted like that, 514 00:17:49,051 --> 00:17:50,735 well, you're being a real douche. 515 00:17:50,886 --> 00:17:52,886 -Thank you. -Not so fast. You two? 516 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:55,615 -Also being douches. -Yeah, Kima, stop being a douche. 517 00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:57,817 -Dane, go to your room. -Are you kidding me? I'm 19. 518 00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,652 -Room. -(scoffs) Fine. 519 00:17:59,804 --> 00:18:01,971 As I was saying, Judy here is going through some biz, 520 00:18:02,064 --> 00:18:03,915 and when your friends go through biz, 521 00:18:04,142 --> 00:18:05,808 you don't ice them out like this. 522 00:18:05,827 --> 00:18:07,401 Understood? When you have a husband 523 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,403 who pretty much only likes to talk about 524 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,497 -how the world's about to end... -It is. 525 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,424 ...you realize one thing: life is short, 526 00:18:13,651 --> 00:18:16,076 and you got to hang on to your real friends. 527 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,929 What matters is something you girls already have, 528 00:18:18,156 --> 00:18:20,823 -and it's right here in front of you. -I'm sorry. 529 00:18:20,842 --> 00:18:22,583 -Me, too. -Me three. 530 00:18:22,677 --> 00:18:24,102 I just don't understand, Judy. 531 00:18:24,253 --> 00:18:26,846 We usually don't care about being popular or cool, 532 00:18:26,998 --> 00:18:29,181 but suddenly it's all you can talk about. 533 00:18:29,334 --> 00:18:31,667 Ugh! Stacy B. brings that out in me! 534 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,093 She's my Achilles' heel. 535 00:18:33,171 --> 00:18:34,595 Or maybe my Achilles' toe, because that's 536 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,930 where that stupid BFF toe ring still is. 537 00:18:37,024 --> 00:18:39,266 Judy, Stacy B. is a nonsense person. 538 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,601 Let her have her popularity. 539 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:42,769 For someone like her, high school is their time. 540 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,272 After high school, you know what's waiting for her? 541 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,608 Nothing. She's peaked. It's all downhill after that. 542 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,127 You know who else it's all downhill for? 543 00:18:49,354 --> 00:18:51,354 -Mother Earth. -Absolutely not, Walter. 544 00:18:51,356 --> 00:18:52,705 -Understood. -Now eat up. 545 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,039 And if you go to that party later, 546 00:18:54,192 --> 00:18:55,466 please make sure the bee girl's all right. 547 00:18:55,693 --> 00:18:57,084 I saw her try to sting the neighbor. 548 00:18:57,195 --> 00:18:58,952 She chased him for a good five minutes. 549 00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:00,638 She shouldn't be unsupervised. 550 00:19:00,865 --> 00:19:03,123 (giggles) That's gonna make dropping off our trash 551 00:19:03,217 --> 00:19:05,701 a little awkward but sure was worth it. 552 00:19:05,870 --> 00:19:07,219 Ham? Everything okay, son? 553 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,296 No, I killed Crispin's cactus. 554 00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:12,650 Oh, no, son, are you worried that Crispin will be mad at you? 555 00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:15,987 I mean, yeah, he might be a little for a minute, 556 00:19:16,138 --> 00:19:18,156 but our relationship is super strong. 557 00:19:18,383 --> 00:19:21,475 I'll say I'm sorry, and he'll be okay. 558 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,144 So then, what are you worried about? 559 00:19:24,238 --> 00:19:26,647 I'm worried about this guy, Dad. 560 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,499 Me, your son, Ham. 561 00:19:28,651 --> 00:19:30,726 I know I'm only 16, and it's a little weird, 562 00:19:30,819 --> 00:19:32,170 but I think about wanting kids someday, 563 00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:33,820 as, like, a life goal, but... 564 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,080 but remember when I won that goldfish 565 00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,508 at the fish toss and forgot to feed it? 566 00:19:37,735 --> 00:19:38,901 -You were eight. -Uh-huh. 567 00:19:38,994 --> 00:19:40,403 How that time I watched Moon, 568 00:19:40,496 --> 00:19:42,129 and he ate, like, a whole pie. 569 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,089 He's an unstoppable dessert hole, 570 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,926 -consuming all that surrounds him. -Yeah, but... 571 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,594 those things, and now this. 572 00:19:48,746 --> 00:19:50,688 If I'm not responsible enough to keep a cactus alive, 573 00:19:50,915 --> 00:19:53,082 there's no way I should have an actual human baby. 574 00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:55,526 Oh, Ham, just because you killed a cactus 575 00:19:55,678 --> 00:19:57,678 doesn't mean you won't be a good dad someday. 576 00:19:57,755 --> 00:20:00,606 Look at me. I used to lose my keys and use cable cutters 577 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,091 to break into my own job. 578 00:20:02,109 --> 00:20:03,868 But then, eventually I grew up. 579 00:20:04,095 --> 00:20:07,187 And then one day, I was ready to take care of you kids. 580 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,040 I mean, I wasn't, but I had to. 581 00:20:09,191 --> 00:20:11,542 And then I was. That'll happen to you, too, Ham. 582 00:20:11,652 --> 00:20:14,361 -Just give it time. -Thanks, Dad. I love you. 583 00:20:14,455 --> 00:20:16,455 I guess I ought to text Crispin. 584 00:20:16,607 --> 00:20:17,606 "Hi, Crispin. 585 00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:19,792 "I'm sorry to tell you that Robert went 586 00:20:19,944 --> 00:20:21,293 to the big desert in the sky." 587 00:20:21,446 --> 00:20:25,890 Cactus emoji, ghost emoji, shrug emoji, heart emoji. 588 00:20:26,041 --> 00:20:27,040 And an eggplant. 589 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,951 You know, just to keep it fun. Send. 590 00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:32,212 See you in hell, Roger the Friendly Starfish. 591 00:20:32,306 --> 00:20:34,123 Bon voyage, birth certificate. 592 00:20:34,141 --> 00:20:36,292 This will definitely stir things up at home. 593 00:20:36,385 --> 00:20:38,477 -Whose son even am I? -Is that...? 594 00:20:38,629 --> 00:20:40,905 My best friends forever toe ring from Stacy B.? 595 00:20:41,132 --> 00:20:43,223 You bet it is. It took a lot of baby oil, 596 00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,076 but I wrestled it off in Kima's bathroom after dinner. 597 00:20:45,227 --> 00:20:46,969 Bon voyage, Stacy B. 598 00:20:46,988 --> 00:20:49,247 Yeah, bon voyage, dumbass. 599 00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:51,140 Bon voyage, Stacy's phone. 600 00:20:51,233 --> 00:20:52,491 What the...? What? 601 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,751 You said you were getting too many texts. 602 00:20:53,902 --> 00:20:55,253 -I was helping you. -(screams) 603 00:20:55,404 --> 00:20:58,572 All right, let's be good friends and go save Jill. 604 00:20:58,666 --> 00:21:00,499 ♪ They don't want us to be together ♪ 605 00:21:00,651 --> 00:21:02,818 ♪ They say we don't work, like wet weather and leather ♪ 606 00:21:02,837 --> 00:21:04,077 ♪ But when I stick my hands in ♪ 607 00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,746 ♪ I feel a joy that's all mine ♪ 608 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,080 ♪ The soothing movin' rhythm of malt balls ♪ 609 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,991 ♪ Makes me freeze in time ♪ 610 00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:10,601 ♪ It may be unsanitary ♪ 611 00:21:10,753 --> 00:21:13,253 ♪ And it may technically be a crime ♪ 612 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,773 ♪ Oh, a dip in the mothball bin ♪ 613 00:21:15,924 --> 00:21:18,276 ♪ Sounds absolutely divine ♪ 614 00:21:18,427 --> 00:21:20,093 ♪ A perfect match like Alice Toklas ♪ 615 00:21:20,262 --> 00:21:22,262 ♪ And her sweetie pie Gertrude Stein ♪ 616 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,431 ♪ I feel like I've died and gone to heaven ♪ 617 00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:28,452 ♪ 'Cause, baby, my hands are in the bulk bin. ♪ 618 00:21:28,645 --> 00:21:30,771 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 619 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,165 and TOYOTA.