1 00:00:01,393 --> 00:00:04,670 -♪ Look up there ♪ -♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:06,005 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:06,232 --> 00:00:07,506 -♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:10,234 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,327 --> 00:00:13,828 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:13,997 --> 00:00:15,072 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:15,090 --> 00:00:16,740 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:16,759 --> 00:00:17,758 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:17,926 --> 00:00:21,169 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:22,763 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:22,915 --> 00:00:24,172 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:25,840 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:25,934 --> 00:00:29,695 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,607 (cheering) 15 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,592 BEEF: Okay, everybody, 16 00:00:35,611 --> 00:00:37,127 let's get going to Maude's All Day. 17 00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:38,445 It's group soup night and I'm worried 18 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,205 they might run out of cauliflower bisque. 19 00:00:40,432 --> 00:00:42,190 That would ruin my plans to say 20 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,601 "bisque me on the lips" as I take my first bite. 21 00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:46,378 I'm more worried they'll run out of those big spoons. 22 00:00:46,455 --> 00:00:48,380 I love clinking spoons with you guys 23 00:00:48,532 --> 00:00:50,049 in the middle of the community pot. 24 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,367 Well, have fun, guys. Remember, Honeybee and I 25 00:00:52,461 --> 00:00:54,795 are staying home for our double shark dinner. 26 00:00:54,947 --> 00:00:58,282 Shark dinner? It's about time we start eating them back. 27 00:00:58,300 --> 00:00:59,391 Actually, we're watching Shark Week 28 00:00:59,618 --> 00:01:01,451 and I'm waiting on a call from Shark Tank. 29 00:01:01,512 --> 00:01:03,044 Wolf and I sent them a bunch of business ideas 30 00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,122 along with the house number to ensure there would be 31 00:01:05,140 --> 00:01:07,766 no risk of bad cell connection when Barbara says, 32 00:01:07,993 --> 00:01:09,142 "Your valuation is insane." 33 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,627 Oh, my God, chills. 34 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,404 And plus, group soup is a no for me. 35 00:01:12,556 --> 00:01:14,239 I don't like food you can't see the bottom of. 36 00:01:14,466 --> 00:01:16,133 Could be anything down there. A bunch of nickels, 37 00:01:16,226 --> 00:01:19,303 a syringe, a wet wig. Mm-mmm. You guys are too trusting. 38 00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:21,896 Tonight's Shark Week event is a show about two shark brothers 39 00:01:22,065 --> 00:01:25,567 who eat an eel from both ends like it's a Fruit by the Foot. 40 00:01:25,661 --> 00:01:27,811 Ugh. I checked the mailbox, and still no report cards. 41 00:01:27,904 --> 00:01:29,254 They were supposed to come this week. 42 00:01:29,406 --> 00:01:31,757 I can't wait anymore, so here's my reaction now, ready? 43 00:01:31,984 --> 00:01:35,001 (shrieks) All A's? And coolest student? 44 00:01:35,154 --> 00:01:36,744 What the... Wha... Wow! I mean, 45 00:01:36,839 --> 00:01:38,655 why would they even put that on a report card, you know? 46 00:01:38,748 --> 00:01:40,081 In fact, they usually don't. They had to print this one 47 00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:41,749 specially for me. They had to send it out 48 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,435 to a printing place and they got it back and they were like, 49 00:01:43,587 --> 00:01:44,752 "Okay, now we'll send it to Judy. (giggles) 50 00:01:44,847 --> 00:01:46,346 It's about her. She won." (short giggle) 51 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,424 Maybe they're not sending report cards this year, to save paper. 52 00:01:49,518 --> 00:01:50,442 That might be right. 53 00:01:50,594 --> 00:01:52,002 Yesterday, in the school bathroom, 54 00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:53,445 the toilet paper had no paper 55 00:01:53,597 --> 00:01:55,339 and just one big wad of gum in it. 56 00:01:55,507 --> 00:01:58,600 It got the job done, but I didn't love it. 57 00:01:58,677 --> 00:02:01,194 Guys, if we don't leave for group soup right now 58 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,437 I am father-divorcing you. 59 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,456 Dad, no! Everybody, let's go, go, go! 60 00:02:04,608 --> 00:02:08,018 Bye and have fun, my Wolf Wife of Wall Street. 61 00:02:08,111 --> 00:02:10,036 Bye. Have fun eating your gross soup. 62 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:13,039 Aw, hello, shark. Ooh, goodbye, leg. 63 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:15,041 WOLF: Good Charlotte, this bisque 64 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,376 does not missque. 65 00:02:16,528 --> 00:02:18,362 Anybody mind if I take my little bread boat 66 00:02:18,455 --> 00:02:20,139 for a sail on these creamy waters? 67 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:21,640 -Ahoy, son. -You guys let me know 68 00:02:21,791 --> 00:02:24,459 when you need a re-bisque. Hey, isn't that your car? 69 00:02:24,628 --> 00:02:26,553 HAM: Oh. That moose is cleaning our car 70 00:02:26,705 --> 00:02:28,963 -for us. -Actually, Ham, moose do that 71 00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,540 because they like the road salt 72 00:02:30,634 --> 00:02:32,651 that kicks up onto the car when you drive. 73 00:02:32,878 --> 00:02:34,469 Wow, he is really going to town. 74 00:02:34,563 --> 00:02:36,137 Feels a little intimate, actually. 75 00:02:36,231 --> 00:02:37,656 I'm just gonna look over here. Oh, no, 76 00:02:37,807 --> 00:02:40,217 the way Santiago is eating his group soup all alone 77 00:02:40,386 --> 00:02:42,402 also looks too intimate. Where can I look? 78 00:02:42,554 --> 00:02:44,830 Should we go shoo him off, Dad? There are signs up all over 79 00:02:44,981 --> 00:02:46,239 saying not to let moose do that. 80 00:02:46,392 --> 00:02:49,317 Moose are very dangerous, but we're safely inside. 81 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,045 Let's just let him enjoy himself for a brief moment. 82 00:02:52,155 --> 00:02:55,399 Great. We'll eat our group soup and he'll eat our car. 83 00:02:55,492 --> 00:02:57,176 HONEYBEE: Thanks for staying back with me, Moon. 84 00:02:57,252 --> 00:02:58,343 Don't tell the family this, 85 00:02:58,495 --> 00:03:00,012 but I'm the only Tobin who doesn't 86 00:03:00,163 --> 00:03:02,906 enjoy group soup. Ugh, I'm with you on the wet wig. 87 00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:04,674 -(phone rings) -Ooh! Could be Shark Tank. 88 00:03:05,427 --> 00:03:07,686 Honeybee Shaw, She-E-O speaking. 89 00:03:07,837 --> 00:03:10,522 Oh, uh, Dwayne Gibbons, Lone Moose School principal. 90 00:03:10,674 --> 00:03:13,083 Is Beef home? I'm calling to talk about 91 00:03:13,101 --> 00:03:14,676 the report cards we mailed over. 92 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,254 He's not home and the report cards haven't arrived yet. 93 00:03:17,272 --> 00:03:18,939 Huh. I sent them last week with plenty 94 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,774 of Frasier -themed postage-- 95 00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:22,259 two Niles and a Daphne. 96 00:03:22,352 --> 00:03:24,444 -I can pass on a message. -Sure. I'd like to discuss 97 00:03:24,596 --> 00:03:27,206 -Moon's failing grade in math. -Oh, no. 98 00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:29,374 His teacher, Mrs. Hill, agreed to let him take 99 00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:30,450 a make-up test on Monday. 100 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,710 But I'm afraid if he doesn't pass, 101 00:03:31,937 --> 00:03:33,361 we'll have to hold him back. 102 00:03:33,439 --> 00:03:34,862 Hmm. I'll let Beef know. 103 00:03:34,957 --> 00:03:36,773 Was it the sharks? Is Mr. Wonderful 104 00:03:36,792 --> 00:03:38,383 as great as his name implies? 105 00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:40,794 Moon, we got to talk about the report cards. 106 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,946 -Disagree. -I heard about the math grade 107 00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:44,948 and the make-up test on Monday, too. 108 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,225 Ugh! Okay, fine. 109 00:03:46,452 --> 00:03:48,134 I'm just embarrassed because everybody else 110 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,803 in my family is great at math. 111 00:03:49,955 --> 00:03:53,565 I hear you. I'm a big ideas person, not a numbers person. 112 00:03:53,792 --> 00:03:56,126 I pretended I got my tonsils out six times in a row 113 00:03:56,219 --> 00:03:58,295 in high school so I didn't have to take the algebra unit. 114 00:03:58,388 --> 00:03:59,963 I told my teacher they kept growing back. 115 00:03:59,982 --> 00:04:01,798 -So smart. -Then I did the same thing 116 00:04:01,891 --> 00:04:04,225 -with appendixes in pre-calc. -Another solid idea. 117 00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:06,894 -I should write these down. -But I eventually did 118 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,972 have to pass it to get my associate's degree. 119 00:04:09,141 --> 00:04:11,308 Maybe I could help you pass that make-up test. 120 00:04:11,326 --> 00:04:12,809 I don't think that's possible. 121 00:04:12,902 --> 00:04:15,829 How about this: I'll wait to tell your dad if you let me try. 122 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,239 Fine. Now can we please get back to watching 123 00:04:18,317 --> 00:04:19,758 America's Funniest Shark Attacks? 124 00:04:19,909 --> 00:04:22,427 The attacks aren't necessarily laugh-out-loud hilarious, 125 00:04:22,579 --> 00:04:25,079 but the sound effects help a lot. 126 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,340 All right, let's carefully get in the car 127 00:04:27,493 --> 00:04:29,417 on the moose-free side. He'll be scared off 128 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,918 once I start the engine. 129 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:33,605 I am normally very against interrupting a make-out sesh, 130 00:04:33,757 --> 00:04:35,423 but in this case I'll allow it. 131 00:04:35,592 --> 00:04:38,259 Huh. Maybe once we start moving, he'll take the hint. 132 00:04:38,353 --> 00:04:39,686 (bellows) 133 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,855 Oh, no! We created a Romeo and Juliet kind of thing. 134 00:04:42,024 --> 00:04:44,599 He only wants the van more now that he knows it's forbidden. 135 00:04:44,693 --> 00:04:46,843 I'll drive slow, so as to not to hurt him, 136 00:04:46,862 --> 00:04:48,678 but hopefully he loses interest. 137 00:04:48,697 --> 00:04:50,347 Aw. Is it just me, 138 00:04:50,365 --> 00:04:54,626 or is this very, very, very romantic? 139 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,113 Okay, quickly, everyone, go, go, go, go. 140 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,707 HONEYBEE: What's with the moose on your caboose? 141 00:05:00,859 --> 00:05:02,968 He walked alongside our car all the way home. 142 00:05:03,119 --> 00:05:04,544 'Cause he's in love with our van. 143 00:05:04,696 --> 00:05:06,863 They make a pretty cute couple. And just imagine 144 00:05:06,882 --> 00:05:10,367 those eventual babies. Aw, vroom, vroom. 145 00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:12,126 He's just enjoying the road salt. 146 00:05:12,220 --> 00:05:13,887 I'm sure he'll be gone by morning. 147 00:05:13,963 --> 00:05:15,630 -Do we call animal control? -I wish. 148 00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:16,982 The animal control number 149 00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:19,543 goes straight to a pre-recorded message that says, 150 00:05:19,561 --> 00:05:20,727 "You can handle this." 151 00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:21,987 WOLF: Good morning, 152 00:05:22,138 --> 00:05:23,380 my Honey-queen. 153 00:05:23,398 --> 00:05:24,564 What's with the school setup? 154 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,807 Oh, is this a sex thing? 155 00:05:25,901 --> 00:05:27,326 Are-are you my teacher? 156 00:05:27,477 --> 00:05:28,643 I need help, you know, studying 157 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,329 for my, uh, uh, sex exam? 158 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,832 No. Stop. It's not a sex thing. It's for your little brother. 159 00:05:33,983 --> 00:05:36,150 I'm tutoring him. He's failing math, but they're letting him 160 00:05:36,244 --> 00:05:38,319 take a make-up test, and I think I could actually help. 161 00:05:38,413 --> 00:05:40,188 I love that you're helping my littlest bro. 162 00:05:40,248 --> 00:05:42,156 He's my littlest bro now, too. Oh, but please 163 00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:43,825 don't tell the rest of your family he's having trouble. 164 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,677 Secret's safe with me, and let me know if you guys want 165 00:05:45,829 --> 00:05:49,906 my help. I'm a real Math-thew Mc-Counting-hey myself. 166 00:05:49,999 --> 00:05:51,833 -You are? -Oh, yeah. Listen to this one. 167 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,835 -One, two. -Go on. 168 00:05:53,929 --> 00:05:56,688 -Three, four. -Hell yeah, babe. 169 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,599 The moose is still here? Okay, so we know one thing: 170 00:05:59,751 --> 00:06:01,026 he's a gentleman. 171 00:06:01,253 --> 00:06:03,770 -Hmm. Yep, this is a problem. -HONEYBEE: Moon. 172 00:06:03,922 --> 00:06:05,864 Welcome to class. I'm Ms. Lefontaine. 173 00:06:06,015 --> 00:06:07,866 It's just me, Honeybee, but I've always wanted my name 174 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,594 to be Annabelle Lefontaine. It's gorgeous. 175 00:06:10,612 --> 00:06:13,613 Well, Ms. Lefontaine, I'm sorry, but there is no point 176 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,116 in you tutoring me. There's a specific reason 177 00:06:16,268 --> 00:06:18,543 why I'm very bad at math. It's genetic. 178 00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:20,286 And it can't be fixed. 179 00:06:20,439 --> 00:06:21,788 But your family is good at math. 180 00:06:21,940 --> 00:06:23,215 Right. But I'm not like them, 181 00:06:23,366 --> 00:06:26,718 and I don't want them to find out why. The truth is, 182 00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:29,036 the man I call Dad-- Beef Tobin-- 183 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,680 isn't my real father. 184 00:06:33,635 --> 00:06:36,453 Okay, back up. Why do you think Beef isn't your dad? 185 00:06:36,546 --> 00:06:37,729 I always thought I was so similar 186 00:06:37,956 --> 00:06:39,973 to the rest of my family, but once this math thing 187 00:06:40,125 --> 00:06:41,900 came up last week, I started to pick up on 188 00:06:42,127 --> 00:06:44,144 all the other things that are different about me. 189 00:06:44,296 --> 00:06:47,147 My hair is dark, I'm short, I also roll out my toothpaste 190 00:06:47,299 --> 00:06:49,390 from the bottom to the top, they all just 191 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:51,893 squeeze it out willy-nilly, like total monsters. 192 00:06:51,987 --> 00:06:53,970 Ugh, they really do. But, Moon, 193 00:06:54,063 --> 00:06:55,563 I don't think that proves anything. 194 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,566 Look, it's as clear as day. Dad's not my dad. 195 00:06:58,660 --> 00:07:01,478 I've narrowed it down to three men I think it could be, 196 00:07:01,496 --> 00:07:03,980 and I'm putting together a plan to investigate them. 197 00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:06,149 Moon, I'm very sure you're a true Tobin. 198 00:07:06,151 --> 00:07:09,002 But I have always wanted to do a Mamma Mia! 199 00:07:09,154 --> 00:07:10,429 How 'bout this: I help you check out 200 00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:12,246 these potential papas, and you let me tutor you 201 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,266 -for your make-up test while we're doing it. -Deal. 202 00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:16,935 Also, I don't think you should tell your dad about this. 203 00:07:17,128 --> 00:07:19,921 Of course not. The truth would crush him. 204 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,331 I'm his favorite. 205 00:07:21,424 --> 00:07:22,999 I'm not sure how we do it, 206 00:07:23,092 --> 00:07:24,759 but we've got to get rid of that moose. 207 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,503 For his safety and ours. 208 00:07:26,596 --> 00:07:29,005 Okay, hear me out. How about I get a moose costume 209 00:07:29,098 --> 00:07:31,691 and also a moose-sized French maid outfit? 210 00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:34,360 I put them both on, and I'll be a sexy lady moose. 211 00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,270 He'll be so distracted by my sultry strut, 212 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,515 the moose will leave the van alone to come flirt with me. 213 00:07:38,608 --> 00:07:42,352 Or what if we show him another car to distract him instead? 214 00:07:42,445 --> 00:07:43,687 That's worth a try, Judy. 215 00:07:43,705 --> 00:07:46,022 Oh, and put the car in the French maid outfit. 216 00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:47,448 I love it. 217 00:07:47,693 --> 00:07:51,136 Okay. So you think this random truck driver is your real dad? 218 00:07:51,363 --> 00:07:52,620 -I don't see it. -I've seen him 219 00:07:52,714 --> 00:07:54,622 driving around town, and there's something 220 00:07:54,716 --> 00:07:57,717 un-bear-ably similar about both of us. 221 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,869 HONEYBEE: You mean how his flappy hat kind of looks 222 00:07:59,963 --> 00:08:01,554 -like your bear suit? -Bingo. 223 00:08:01,707 --> 00:08:03,148 HONEYBEE: Moon, look. He has Florida plates. 224 00:08:03,299 --> 00:08:04,708 I have Florida heritage? 225 00:08:04,726 --> 00:08:08,211 That explains why I love sunshine. Uh-oh, he's leaving. 226 00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:10,638 Sir! Hi there. I see you're from Florida. 227 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,140 Yeah, I've been doing this Florida-Alaska drive 228 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,568 twice a week for just under seven years, ma'am. 229 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:18,905 -Twice a week? -Yep. I've only been in 63 accidents. 230 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,314 I tend to fall asleep at the wheel 231 00:08:20,408 --> 00:08:22,316 'cause I keep the heat in here on max. 232 00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:24,077 You are very sweaty, my friend. 233 00:08:24,229 --> 00:08:26,079 Well, I'm also chock-full of amphetamines. 234 00:08:26,231 --> 00:08:27,897 I don't even know if you two are real. 235 00:08:27,991 --> 00:08:30,233 Anyway, I got a thousand miles to drive tonight. 236 00:08:30,252 --> 00:08:32,068 See ya, possible ghosts. 237 00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:34,513 See? He's only driven here for seven years. 238 00:08:34,664 --> 00:08:36,348 You were born in Alaska ten years ago. 239 00:08:36,499 --> 00:08:38,424 There's no way he's secretly your dad. 240 00:08:38,577 --> 00:08:40,260 -I know. -Also, he said he has to drive 241 00:08:40,412 --> 00:08:42,579 a thousand miles today. Let's say he only has 242 00:08:42,597 --> 00:08:44,856 ten hours to drive. What speed should he go 243 00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:46,583 in order to make it to his next stop? 244 00:08:46,601 --> 00:08:49,343 I don't know. Nine million miles per hour? 245 00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:50,754 I told you I'm bad at math. 246 00:08:50,922 --> 00:08:53,532 Or you just need an in-- your way of connecting to math 247 00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:55,775 that helps you understand it. For me, it was when 248 00:08:55,927 --> 00:08:57,944 I needed to figure out how long it would take me to watch 249 00:08:58,096 --> 00:09:00,129 every episode of Hangin' with Mr. Cooper 250 00:09:00,131 --> 00:09:01,373 so I'd be caught up before the movie came out. 251 00:09:01,524 --> 00:09:03,449 I'm all caught up, but I'm still waiting. 252 00:09:03,618 --> 00:09:05,602 We just got to figure out that in for you. 253 00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:08,863 No, we need to find my dad. On to the next. 254 00:09:08,957 --> 00:09:11,383 MAN: Be sure to check back in with us tonight so you know the weather 255 00:09:11,534 --> 00:09:14,294 for tomorrow when your head hits that "pellow." 256 00:09:14,462 --> 00:09:15,612 This weatherman, really? 257 00:09:15,630 --> 00:09:18,706 Yep. Harry Hotfog, Diondra Tundra's rival. 258 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,559 Why would this guy be your dad? 259 00:09:20,786 --> 00:09:22,209 Everyone in my family says "pillow," 260 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:25,972 but I say "pellow," like Harry. Pretty freaky, huh? 261 00:09:26,124 --> 00:09:28,291 Mm, sounds like a fairly reasonable coincidence. 262 00:09:28,384 --> 00:09:30,735 -Ooh! There he is. -Yoo-hoo! 263 00:09:30,962 --> 00:09:32,345 -Harry! -Uh-oh. 264 00:09:32,422 --> 00:09:34,130 cloudy with a chance of superfans. 265 00:09:34,149 --> 00:09:35,815 You want autographs? Five bucks. 266 00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:38,484 Two bucks extra if you want me to draw a little storm cloud. 267 00:09:38,637 --> 00:09:40,987 Sir, how long have you lived in Lone Moose? 268 00:09:41,139 --> 00:09:43,915 My whole life. 23 glorious years. 269 00:09:44,142 --> 00:09:46,251 -You're only 23? -Yes. I dye my hair gray 270 00:09:46,402 --> 00:09:48,253 so people will take me seriously. 271 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,571 Normally I'm a beautiful blonde. 272 00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,257 He's way too young. This can't be the guy. 273 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,167 -Bye, Harry. -Good talking to you. 274 00:09:54,319 --> 00:09:55,760 Hotfog rolling out. 275 00:09:55,912 --> 00:09:58,004 (sighs) Well, there's only one guy left 276 00:09:58,156 --> 00:10:01,116 on my possible paternity list. And since the other two 277 00:10:01,118 --> 00:10:04,510 random people weren't my dad, it's definitely him. 278 00:10:04,663 --> 00:10:05,678 HONEYBEE: Pete, 279 00:10:05,755 --> 00:10:06,921 the Val-U-Buy cashier? 280 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,757 You gave me $40. Your groceries were $31, 281 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,426 so I give you, two, uh... 282 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,261 $22 back. 283 00:10:14,356 --> 00:10:15,447 That's correct. 284 00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:17,523 -Oh, I see. -He's notoriously bad at math. 285 00:10:17,676 --> 00:10:20,360 Mom used to only get in his line. In six months, 286 00:10:20,512 --> 00:10:22,120 she got enough money from him to buy 287 00:10:22,271 --> 00:10:23,696 -the new refrigerator we needed. -Wow. 288 00:10:23,849 --> 00:10:25,123 I mean, she used the money 289 00:10:25,350 --> 00:10:28,034 to get her Camaro windows tinted, but you see my point. 290 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,629 All right, let's buy these and meet Pete. 291 00:10:30,856 --> 00:10:32,780 -Hello, Pete. -Good afternoon. How are you? 292 00:10:32,858 --> 00:10:35,859 Well, I'm annoyed at these headlines about Jennifer Aniston 293 00:10:35,877 --> 00:10:37,302 wondering if she's pregnant again. 294 00:10:37,453 --> 00:10:39,195 Leave that sexy, single freebird alone. 295 00:10:39,364 --> 00:10:40,864 -You know what I mean? -Mm-hmm. 296 00:10:40,957 --> 00:10:42,699 -Any kids yourself, Pete? -Me? 297 00:10:42,717 --> 00:10:45,034 Ha, not that I know of. (laughs) 298 00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:47,553 No, but really, I am a virgin. There's no way. 299 00:10:47,706 --> 00:10:51,040 -And here's your change: $111. -Pete, no! 300 00:10:51,059 --> 00:10:53,209 MOON: You sure you don't want some ice cream? 301 00:10:53,228 --> 00:10:55,153 Yeah, most adults don't have a huge ice cream sundae 302 00:10:55,304 --> 00:10:57,397 -as an afternoon snack. -Suit yourself. 303 00:10:57,549 --> 00:10:59,883 Well, now that we know Beef is your real pop, 304 00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:01,217 we can get home and get studying. 305 00:11:01,219 --> 00:11:02,661 Hey, is this seat taken, son? 306 00:11:02,888 --> 00:11:05,722 -Nope. All yours, Mr. Mailman. -What'll it be, Reggie? 307 00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:09,167 I'll have the Big Boy Ice Cream Sundae with Sauce. You know me-- 308 00:11:09,394 --> 00:11:11,819 I love a huge ice cream sundae in the afternoon. 309 00:11:11,913 --> 00:11:13,838 Are you seeing this? Called me son. 310 00:11:13,915 --> 00:11:15,840 Eating a huge ice cream in the afternoon. 311 00:11:15,917 --> 00:11:17,734 Short stature. Dark hair. 312 00:11:17,752 --> 00:11:19,493 It's him. He's it. 313 00:11:19,587 --> 00:11:21,179 This is who we've been looking for. 314 00:11:21,406 --> 00:11:25,183 My real father is the mailman. 315 00:11:28,246 --> 00:11:30,580 Okay, so you're saying you want to be a mailman one day? 316 00:11:30,673 --> 00:11:32,598 Oh, yeah. I think it's in my blood. 317 00:11:32,751 --> 00:11:33,766 Couple of questions for you. 318 00:11:33,935 --> 00:11:35,176 How long have you lived in Lone Moose? 319 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,361 Ever been in a relationship? Also, 320 00:11:36,512 --> 00:11:39,756 how do you say this word: P-I-L-L-O-W? 321 00:11:39,849 --> 00:11:41,274 Lived here 30 years. Yes, I've had 322 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,368 my fair share of relationships. 323 00:11:43,519 --> 00:11:45,036 A few I thought would go the distance, 324 00:11:45,113 --> 00:11:47,521 but I guess they didn't have enough postage. 325 00:11:47,690 --> 00:11:48,873 And, to answer your last question, "pellow." 326 00:11:49,025 --> 00:11:50,433 Are you saying pillow or "pellow"? 327 00:11:50,526 --> 00:11:51,284 -Pillow. -What? 328 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,785 -"Pellow." -One more time. 329 00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:54,620 Thanks for bringing your cars, Kyle. 330 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:57,790 No problem. They deserve some attention now and again. 331 00:11:57,943 --> 00:11:59,459 Let's seduce a moose. 332 00:11:59,611 --> 00:12:03,054 Let's see if he wants to get hot and heavy with a Chevy. 333 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,632 Or take it nice and slow with a Peugeot. 334 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:09,394 How about a hug from a VW Bug? 335 00:12:09,545 --> 00:12:11,621 Man, she's got some fun car rhymes. 336 00:12:11,714 --> 00:12:15,291 Put your moose lips on this Mitsubishi Eclipse. 337 00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:17,218 Out of options, Beef. 338 00:12:17,295 --> 00:12:19,887 Good thing I ran out to Costume Castle before it closed. 339 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,907 Mademoiselle Moose will be ready for her big debut. 340 00:12:23,134 --> 00:12:25,893 It's no use, Wolf. Looks like we'll be the ones 341 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,062 saying au revoir to our beautiful van. 342 00:12:28,156 --> 00:12:29,414 HAM: Au revoir. 343 00:12:29,565 --> 00:12:30,415 MOON: So, uh, 344 00:12:30,566 --> 00:12:31,899 you deliver the mail 345 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,567 no matter what, rain or shine? 346 00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:34,978 Yup, I've seen it all-- 347 00:12:35,071 --> 00:12:37,146 snowstorms, fires, earthquakes. 348 00:12:37,165 --> 00:12:40,016 I've even delivered a package during a hostage situation. 349 00:12:40,076 --> 00:12:42,761 The handcuffs made the signature a little funky, but it worked. 350 00:12:42,912 --> 00:12:45,655 Here you go, Reggie. And I pre-calculated the tip for you 351 00:12:45,673 --> 00:12:46,914 since you hate math. 352 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,658 -Uh-oh. -Whoa. -Thank you, Leslie. 353 00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:50,602 All right, time for me to make some cheddar 354 00:12:50,829 --> 00:12:51,844 delivering letters. 355 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,605 Um, could we tag along? You know, 356 00:12:53,832 --> 00:12:56,682 so I could see what the mailman life really entails? 357 00:12:56,835 --> 00:12:58,001 All righty. I, uh, hope 358 00:12:58,094 --> 00:12:59,685 you really love being outdoors like I do. 359 00:12:59,838 --> 00:13:02,596 You know what? A ride-along on a boring, routine mail route 360 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:04,690 might be just the thing to prove that you're not actually 361 00:13:04,859 --> 00:13:07,601 Moon's da... ream job. 362 00:13:07,695 --> 00:13:09,345 Dream job. Let's do this. 363 00:13:09,514 --> 00:13:10,771 REGGIE: All right, here we go! 364 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,031 Hop in and hold on to something, 365 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,626 but not to any of the handles. They're taped on! 366 00:13:14,853 --> 00:13:16,369 ♪ I'm in a mailin' mood ♪ 367 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,021 ♪ I'm gonna mail it to ya ♪ 368 00:13:18,039 --> 00:13:20,114 ♪ I'm gonna fire away ♪ 369 00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:24,910 ♪ I'm a delivery machine and it is freakin' insane ♪ 370 00:13:25,063 --> 00:13:26,212 (barking) 371 00:13:26,364 --> 00:13:27,788 ♪ I'll put that package on your stoop ♪ 372 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,532 ♪ If it's the last thing I do ♪ 373 00:13:29,551 --> 00:13:30,883 ♪ I'll walk through ice and through rain ♪ 374 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,477 ♪ And step in mountain of poo ♪ 375 00:13:32,628 --> 00:13:33,961 ♪ I'll get your grandma her checks ♪ 376 00:13:34,055 --> 00:13:35,538 ♪ And her prescription, too ♪ 377 00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:38,891 ♪ Ah...! ♪ 378 00:13:39,044 --> 00:13:41,377 Oh, is it Bring Your Son To Work Day? 379 00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:43,637 My kid hates that day. I'm a nude model. 380 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,064 ♪ Mail it to you! ♪ 381 00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:46,883 JUDY: I guess we can walk to school 382 00:13:46,901 --> 00:13:47,992 every day from now on. 383 00:13:48,144 --> 00:13:50,495 I mean, upside: our legs and our butts 384 00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:51,996 are gonna be ripped. 385 00:13:52,223 --> 00:13:54,891 Aw, look. Now the moose is giving the van some branches 386 00:13:54,909 --> 00:13:56,742 for their one-day dating anniversary. 387 00:13:56,895 --> 00:13:58,152 BEEF: Wait a minute. 388 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,746 Those branches aren't for romance. 389 00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,340 The moose is trying to hide the van 390 00:14:02,567 --> 00:14:03,916 to protect it from predators. 391 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,085 It has adopted it as its child. 392 00:14:06,254 --> 00:14:08,513 Aw. Should we offer to babysit-- 393 00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:11,090 let the moose have a night out on its own? 394 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,092 Uh, isn't it typically only female moose 395 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,410 that care for their young? 396 00:14:14,412 --> 00:14:15,520 We don't know this moose's life. 397 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:18,081 Maybe he just likes being a dad. Or-or maybe 398 00:14:18,099 --> 00:14:20,600 he had to take over jobs as both mother and father 399 00:14:20,752 --> 00:14:23,010 because the van's mother moved to Pennsylvania 400 00:14:23,104 --> 00:14:24,770 to be with her moose lover Marcus. 401 00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:27,256 Aw, I didn't even think to ask. 402 00:14:27,258 --> 00:14:29,183 This is serious. The moose would not be happy 403 00:14:29,277 --> 00:14:32,186 if we opened his child's door and then sat in his child's body 404 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,520 and drove his child around. 405 00:14:33,615 --> 00:14:35,615 Yeah, I don't have kids, but I imagine 406 00:14:35,767 --> 00:14:37,041 I'll feel the same way one day. 407 00:14:37,268 --> 00:14:41,270 I might have an idea that could mean everybody wins. 408 00:14:41,289 --> 00:14:43,122 I love it when everybody wins. 409 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,774 I also love it when everybody loses. 410 00:14:44,792 --> 00:14:46,125 I just love playing. 411 00:14:46,277 --> 00:14:48,386 REGGIE: So, I set this zip line up years ago, 412 00:14:48,613 --> 00:14:50,371 or else Mrs. Johnston would never get her weekly 413 00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:52,615 bags of mail-order meal worms to feed her hedgehogs 414 00:14:52,634 --> 00:14:54,300 Jessica and Kelsey. You want to come with, kid? 415 00:14:54,452 --> 00:14:57,711 Oh, no. I-I mean, I'd love to, but I know that rope. 416 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,398 It's a Renegade. There's usually about a 200-pound weight limit 417 00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:03,234 on there, and estimating your weight at 150 pounds, 418 00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:06,479 -adding my 75 would break the system. -Moon! 419 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,740 Good call, little man. You got great instincts. 420 00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:10,742 Um, and great math-stincts. 421 00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:13,578 I think you would make an excellent mailman one day, Moon, 422 00:15:13,729 --> 00:15:16,322 -uh... What'd you say your last name was? -Tobin. 423 00:15:16,474 --> 00:15:17,749 I know that name. Yeah. 424 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,751 I used to deliver to your family before I switched over 425 00:15:19,827 --> 00:15:21,068 to the northern route. 426 00:15:21,162 --> 00:15:22,236 Wait, you did? 427 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,088 Oh, yeah. Your mom was a riot! 428 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,925 Yeah, she'd love to distract me and then steal packages 429 00:15:27,152 --> 00:15:29,652 off the back of my Jeep. It was a felony but, man, 430 00:15:29,671 --> 00:15:30,762 it made me laugh. 431 00:15:30,989 --> 00:15:32,822 Wait, you actually knew my mom? 432 00:15:32,915 --> 00:15:34,507 Of course, man-- Leeny. 433 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:35,825 You called her Leeny? 434 00:15:35,843 --> 00:15:37,101 Oh, yeah, sure, yeah. 435 00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:38,995 You know, she was always home during the day 436 00:15:39,013 --> 00:15:40,772 and she was constantly offering me a beer 437 00:15:40,999 --> 00:15:42,607 and inviting me in. Constantly. 438 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,016 Oh. Oh, no... 439 00:15:44,169 --> 00:15:45,685 Maybe we should stop talking about this. 440 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,445 Yeah, last time I saw her 441 00:15:47,672 --> 00:15:49,447 was about ten years ago. She said she had 442 00:15:49,674 --> 00:15:51,340 something real important to tell me that would change my life, 443 00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:53,176 but then they transferred me 444 00:15:53,194 --> 00:15:54,360 to a new route and I never delivered mail 445 00:15:54,529 --> 00:15:55,528 to your family again. 446 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,937 Anyway, off I go. 447 00:15:56,957 --> 00:16:00,124 Holy stamps, this is dad news. 448 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,205 -You okay there, Moon? -Yep, yep. 449 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,782 -Yep, yep, yep. -Look, just because Reggie 450 00:16:08,876 --> 00:16:10,710 knew your mom and drank with her 451 00:16:10,862 --> 00:16:11,877 and went in your house a bunch 452 00:16:12,046 --> 00:16:13,304 and has a lot in common with you, 453 00:16:13,490 --> 00:16:15,956 it doesn't mean that he's your... 454 00:16:16,050 --> 00:16:18,217 Reggie is definitely my real dad. 455 00:16:18,294 --> 00:16:20,703 No. I mean, maybe not. 456 00:16:20,722 --> 00:16:22,313 I mean, Moon, sweetie, 457 00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:23,964 I don't totally know what to say. 458 00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,674 I really wanted to help you with math, 459 00:16:25,676 --> 00:16:28,135 but now I feel like the worst big sister in the world. 460 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,989 It's not your fault my mom was a real mom-about-town. 461 00:16:31,216 --> 00:16:33,157 And if I was gonna be with somebody when I found out 462 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,718 this life-changing information that I thought I wanted 463 00:16:35,737 --> 00:16:39,388 but now feel like barfing about, I'm glad it was with you. 464 00:16:39,482 --> 00:16:40,740 Whee! 465 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,893 Reggie, uh, this was fun, but I think we got to go. 466 00:16:43,911 --> 00:16:45,503 Could you drop us off at our car? 467 00:16:45,654 --> 00:16:48,172 Moon's dad is probably wondering where we've been. 468 00:16:48,399 --> 00:16:50,416 Oh, of course, of course. I bet I wouldn't like 469 00:16:50,568 --> 00:16:52,251 waiting for my kids if I had them. 470 00:16:52,403 --> 00:16:55,013 But I guess I'll never be sure, because I can't have kids. 471 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,347 -Really? -Wait, you can't? 472 00:16:56,499 --> 00:16:58,741 Nah, it wasn't possible after the accident. 473 00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:01,335 I'll spare you the gory details, but it was a bowling ball 474 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,836 straight to my nuts when I was 18 475 00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:05,023 and they cracked open like eggs on Sunday morning. 476 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,466 So, you definitely have no kids? 477 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,176 Nope. Oh, and while I was zippin', 478 00:17:09,270 --> 00:17:11,529 I remembered that your mom did tell me that thing 479 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:12,938 that she thought was so important. 480 00:17:13,015 --> 00:17:15,258 She had made earrings out of beer cans. 481 00:17:15,276 --> 00:17:16,534 She called them beerings. 482 00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:18,444 And then she got mad at me when I wouldn't buy them 483 00:17:18,596 --> 00:17:20,446 and she chased me off the property with a knife. 484 00:17:20,598 --> 00:17:23,958 -Sounds like Mom. -Anyway, I'll drop you guys back at your car. 485 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,379 What's going on in that little bear brain, Moon? 486 00:17:28,606 --> 00:17:30,697 Well, I'm super glad Dad's my dad, 487 00:17:30,866 --> 00:17:34,110 but if genetics aren't the reason that I'm failing math, 488 00:17:34,128 --> 00:17:36,387 then I'm just the stupid one of the family. 489 00:17:36,614 --> 00:17:38,447 That's not what it means. What it means 490 00:17:38,466 --> 00:17:39,706 is you're just different from your family, 491 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,117 and that's not a bad thing. 492 00:17:41,135 --> 00:17:43,043 You know who else is different from their family? 493 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,563 Shania Twain? The Incredible Hulk? 494 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:46,972 -Me. -And you're great. 495 00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:49,049 Yeah, I am. And you're not dumb. 496 00:17:49,143 --> 00:17:50,735 In fact, you were talking all kinds of math 497 00:17:50,886 --> 00:17:53,813 about that zip line. I think outdoor stuff is your in, Moon. 498 00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:56,132 Huh. Yeah. I guess you're right. 499 00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:58,576 I didn't get nervous thinking about that rope. 500 00:17:58,653 --> 00:18:00,561 But when the numbers are just numbers on paper, 501 00:18:00,655 --> 00:18:02,062 I get freaked out. 502 00:18:02,231 --> 00:18:04,657 I know I'm gonna fail that make-up test tomorrow. 503 00:18:04,809 --> 00:18:06,325 Remember when I said I'm a big ideas person? 504 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,495 I just had another one, and it's almost as good as turtletinis. 505 00:18:09,647 --> 00:18:11,330 I don't know if turtletinis are for turtles 506 00:18:11,407 --> 00:18:14,258 or if they have a little turtle in 'em, but it'll come to me. 507 00:18:14,335 --> 00:18:15,985 Thank you for letting Moon take his make-up test 508 00:18:16,003 --> 00:18:17,578 out here, Mrs. Hill. I think 509 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,080 you'll see that this is where he really shines. 510 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,657 I'm only doing this 'cause Gibbons said he would 511 00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,917 give me a week off to go on my Metallica cruise. 512 00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,828 Moon, how old was that tree? 513 00:18:25,847 --> 00:18:27,438 I see 72 two rings. 514 00:18:27,590 --> 00:18:29,756 Which means it was 72 two years old. 515 00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:32,017 And if I had four of these trees, how many years 516 00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,278 would they have collectively been alive? 517 00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:35,671 Two hundred and eighty eight. 518 00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:37,340 Okay. And what if we chop that tree down 519 00:18:37,508 --> 00:18:39,099 to build a fire that lasts four hours and three logs 520 00:18:39,193 --> 00:18:41,268 burn an hour-- how many logs do we need? 521 00:18:41,362 --> 00:18:43,437 -Twelve. -Now imagine we get trapped out here 522 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,790 and need to eat Mrs. Hill to stay alive. 523 00:18:45,941 --> 00:18:47,458 Estimating her height as five nine, 524 00:18:47,610 --> 00:18:49,127 and assuming we're gonna eat about five inches per day, 525 00:18:49,278 --> 00:18:52,021 how many days until we run out of teacher meat? 526 00:18:52,114 --> 00:18:53,965 Well, we would probably start on her legs, so... 527 00:18:54,192 --> 00:18:56,041 Okay, you can stop. I've heard enough. 528 00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:58,469 Moon, you clearly understand math in this setting, 529 00:18:58,621 --> 00:19:01,046 and I will adjust your grade to just barely passing. 530 00:19:01,199 --> 00:19:04,625 Yeah! I kicked math's ass. And for the record, 531 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,627 we could probably survive on Mrs. Hill's meat 532 00:19:06,721 --> 00:19:10,055 for about 13 days, provided we eat the eyes. 533 00:19:10,132 --> 00:19:12,299 We just have to make this old snow machine 534 00:19:12,393 --> 00:19:14,560 more enticing as the moose's baby. 535 00:19:14,712 --> 00:19:17,062 We begin by covering the infant in salt. 536 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,548 I recorded some baby moose sounds from the Internet 537 00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:21,717 and then added a little of my own flair. 538 00:19:21,777 --> 00:19:25,329 And I'll swaddle up this little snow machine in my baby blanket. 539 00:19:25,481 --> 00:19:26,998 Everyone ready? 540 00:19:27,725 --> 00:19:29,250 (wailing) 541 00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:32,837 He doesn't seem interested. 542 00:19:33,064 --> 00:19:34,821 What if we put the snow machine 543 00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:36,415 inside a little pumpkin, you know, 544 00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:39,719 -like those baby calendars? -Give it a minute. 545 00:19:48,413 --> 00:19:52,248 There he goes. Oh, papa Moose has left the building. 546 00:19:52,341 --> 00:19:54,174 BEEF (crying): The cats in the cradle and the silver spoon. 547 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:57,770 Little boy blue and the something, something 548 00:19:57,922 --> 00:20:00,347 and I forget the lyrics. 549 00:20:00,441 --> 00:20:01,273 Hey, Dad. 550 00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:03,016 Hey, son. Ready for tuck-in? 551 00:20:03,110 --> 00:20:05,444 You bet. How did the moose debacle end? 552 00:20:05,521 --> 00:20:07,538 I saw the van is back to being an orphan. 553 00:20:07,615 --> 00:20:10,983 Yeah. There's a powerful bond between a father and child. 554 00:20:11,118 --> 00:20:12,952 It's like us. But no one-- 555 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:15,454 and I mean no one, son-- is gonna trick me 556 00:20:15,606 --> 00:20:17,456 into trading you for an old snow machine. 557 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,942 Dad, I have something to show you. 558 00:20:20,035 --> 00:20:22,294 I hid the report cards. I'm sorry. 559 00:20:22,447 --> 00:20:24,113 I didn't want you to see my math grade. 560 00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:27,132 But Honeybee helped me study and I passed my make-up test today. 561 00:20:27,285 --> 00:20:29,134 I'm sure glad she did that, because I probably 562 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,211 -wouldn't have been much help. -You wouldn't? 563 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,730 I've hid it pretty well, but I've never been 564 00:20:32,881 --> 00:20:36,141 any good at math. Sorry you inherited that from me. 565 00:20:36,294 --> 00:20:38,477 That's okay, Dad. I kind of like that I did. 566 00:20:38,629 --> 00:20:40,738 At least you didn't get my extra-long second toe. 567 00:20:40,965 --> 00:20:42,740 It's true. Mine are all the same size, 568 00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:44,224 like a little spice rack. 569 00:20:44,393 --> 00:20:46,635 But Moon, if you ever do need anything, 570 00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:49,247 I'm always here to help. Or at least to try. 571 00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:50,581 Okay. I need 572 00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:53,976 a TenPoint Vapor RS70 Crossbow Package, please. 573 00:20:53,995 --> 00:20:57,421 Ha! Those are $4,000. How about a hug instead? 574 00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:01,033 -♪ Bonjour ♪ -♪ I am a French lady moose ♪ 575 00:21:01,185 --> 00:21:03,076 -♪ Oui ♪ -♪ I look so pretty ♪ 576 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:05,763 -♪ Bonjour ♪ -♪ I eat croissants ♪ 577 00:21:05,990 --> 00:21:08,749 -♪ Oui ♪ -♪ Come flirt with me ♪ 578 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,102 ♪ I am a French lady moose ♪ 579 00:21:11,329 --> 00:21:13,604 ♪ I buy smelly cheese ♪ 580 00:21:13,756 --> 00:21:15,514 ♪ A scarf around my neck ♪ 581 00:21:15,666 --> 00:21:17,608 ♪ "S'il vous plaît" means "please" ♪ 582 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,852 ♪ I am a French lady moose ♪ 583 00:21:20,004 --> 00:21:21,612 ♪ I look so pretty ♪ 584 00:21:21,764 --> 00:21:23,447 -♪ Bonjour ♪ -♪ I eat croissants ♪ 585 00:21:23,599 --> 00:21:25,616 -♪ Oui ♪ -♪ Come flirt with me ♪ 586 00:21:25,693 --> 00:21:28,360 -♪ Bonjour ♪ -♪ I am a French lady moose ♪ 587 00:21:28,513 --> 00:21:30,454 -♪ Au revoir ♪ -♪ And I buy smelly cheese. ♪ 588 00:21:30,606 --> 00:21:32,439 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 589 00:21:32,533 --> 00:21:34,166 and TOYOTA.