1 00:00:03,229 --> 00:00:04,911 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 2 00:00:05,064 --> 00:00:06,230 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 3 00:00:06,323 --> 00:00:07,748 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 4 00:00:07,842 --> 00:00:11,593 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 5 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,097 (cheering) 6 00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:19,076 ♪ Saturday, in the van ♪ 7 00:00:19,169 --> 00:00:22,246 ♪ Taking you to recorder practice ♪ 8 00:00:22,264 --> 00:00:25,415 ♪ While you're there, I clean the car ♪ 9 00:00:25,509 --> 00:00:28,085 ♪ Keeping anything that I find... ♪ 10 00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:31,271 Another super spicy Saturday recorder band practice. 11 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,680 Now hit me with a few bars. 12 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,591 I'd rather save it for rehearsal. 13 00:00:34,684 --> 00:00:35,868 My lips get tired. 14 00:00:36,019 --> 00:00:37,778 From playing my recorder so well. 15 00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:39,521 Respect. You know, there's no telling 16 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:42,266 what I'll find cleaning out this Van-iel Radcliffe. 17 00:00:42,284 --> 00:00:43,858 (chuckles): But whatever it is, I get to keep it. 18 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,693 Quarter roll of duct tape? Mine. 19 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,604 This map of Lone Moose from before we got the car wash? 20 00:00:47,697 --> 00:00:49,439 All mine, baby! 21 00:00:49,458 --> 00:00:50,624 (chuckles) 22 00:00:50,776 --> 00:00:52,200 See you in 55 minutes. 23 00:00:52,294 --> 00:00:53,627 Have fun with your recorder. 24 00:00:53,779 --> 00:00:57,038 And also, record this: I love you very much. 25 00:00:57,058 --> 00:01:00,041 (accent): There's gold in this here van. 26 00:01:00,135 --> 00:01:01,376 All right, kids, huddle up. 27 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,895 Welcome back to Saturday Splits, 28 00:01:03,122 --> 00:01:04,897 where we take a deep dive into divorce trauma 29 00:01:05,124 --> 00:01:08,141 and those gallon tubs of ice cream. 30 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,460 We're gonna to kick off today's processing with a few reps 31 00:01:10,479 --> 00:01:11,553 of free share. 32 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,073 Then, I'll pop in this instructional DVD 33 00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,575 and we'll round this all out with some delicious, 34 00:01:16,802 --> 00:01:18,243 unstructured banana split time. 35 00:01:18,470 --> 00:01:20,971 -Who'd like to share first? -RUSSELL: I'll go, Coach Kiely. 36 00:01:20,989 --> 00:01:23,248 I've composed a poem about and for 37 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,809 my mom's perfect boyfriend Jamie. 38 00:01:25,902 --> 00:01:28,161 "Not a dad. Not a friend. 39 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,831 Jamie is a man in between." 40 00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,758 HONEYBEE: Thanks for coming with me to mail my pen pal letters, 41 00:01:32,985 --> 00:01:34,909 -you guys. -Well, I am happy 42 00:01:35,003 --> 00:01:36,486 to accompany you to the post office. 43 00:01:36,505 --> 00:01:39,323 I'll run any errands with you. Of any kind. 44 00:01:39,416 --> 00:01:40,415 At any time. 45 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,916 Because you love my convertible? 46 00:01:42,010 --> 00:01:43,160 (laughs) What? No. 47 00:01:43,178 --> 00:01:44,328 Convertibles are silly. 48 00:01:44,346 --> 00:01:45,662 And we shouldn't put the top down. 49 00:01:45,681 --> 00:01:46,847 It's much too cold. 50 00:01:46,999 --> 00:01:48,607 (giggles) 51 00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:50,609 I don't enjoy this. 52 00:01:50,794 --> 00:01:53,112 -I'm not a puppy. -I would be so embarrassed 53 00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:56,506 if a certain someone saw us in this beautiful car. 54 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,600 Should we go drive by Stacy B's house again? 55 00:01:58,694 --> 00:02:00,953 HONEYBEE: Okay, got to mail these pen pal letters. 56 00:02:01,104 --> 00:02:02,979 This one to Jessica in Decatur is very important. 57 00:02:03,031 --> 00:02:05,031 The zoning board shut down her kite-flying camp 58 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,683 because it was too close to the airport. 59 00:02:06,702 --> 00:02:09,035 I hate seeing someone get their dream taken away. 60 00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:11,964 Even if that dream is kites and I don't understand it. 61 00:02:12,115 --> 00:02:15,008 -(screeches) -(shouts) What the...? 62 00:02:15,878 --> 00:02:17,694 Honeybee, don't move a muscle. 63 00:02:17,713 --> 00:02:18,712 Is this like Jurassic Park? 64 00:02:18,864 --> 00:02:19,954 If I don't move, it can't see me? 65 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,715 -(screeches) -(screams) 66 00:02:21,867 --> 00:02:22,883 -Uh-oh! Stay calm. -Oh, no! 67 00:02:23,035 --> 00:02:24,534 -He got my mitten! -BEEF: Stay calm. 68 00:02:24,553 --> 00:02:25,477 Coming to get you. 69 00:02:25,704 --> 00:02:27,295 HAM: Hurry, hurry, hurry. 70 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,373 (shouts) Oh, no, your legs! 71 00:02:29,466 --> 00:02:31,708 Keep driving, I'll get them in! 72 00:02:31,727 --> 00:02:33,210 What the hell was that? 73 00:02:33,303 --> 00:02:36,137 That was Toby the Eagle. 74 00:02:36,231 --> 00:02:37,805 Hey, a purple Skittle! 75 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,308 Mmm, mmm-- Nope, that's a bead. 76 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,885 Moon's recorder? 77 00:02:41,904 --> 00:02:44,479 (stammers) You don't become first chair in recorder choir 78 00:02:44,573 --> 00:02:45,813 by forgetting your instrument. 79 00:02:45,908 --> 00:02:47,815 You probably become, like, third chair. 80 00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:49,651 And then maybe quit school? 81 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,912 And run away from home to live in a skate park? 82 00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:54,247 Oh, no. Moon! 83 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,732 HAM: I still can't believe 84 00:02:55,825 --> 00:02:57,401 Toby the Eagle got your mitten. 85 00:02:57,494 --> 00:02:59,236 That's below the belt. At least for me, 86 00:02:59,329 --> 00:03:02,072 -but my arms are pretty long. -It was below the belt, Ham. 87 00:03:02,090 --> 00:03:03,423 That's why I'm calling animal control. 88 00:03:03,575 --> 00:03:05,333 Honeybee, you can't. 89 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:08,353 -Why? -(sighs) Toby isn't just any eagle. 90 00:03:08,505 --> 00:03:11,172 He's actually a Lone Moose city councilperson. 91 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:12,357 No, he's not, he's a bird. 92 00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:14,175 Toby is, in fact, a city councilperson. 93 00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:17,437 And Toby's handler Roy is also a councilperson, 94 00:03:17,589 --> 00:03:20,515 and together they have a powerful two-thirds majority. 95 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,368 The third councilperson Gwen just gave up years ago. 96 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,111 These days, she spends council meetings 97 00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:27,113 practicing picking things up with her bare feet. 98 00:03:27,266 --> 00:03:29,783 I saw her at the mall using chopsticks with her toes. 99 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,359 She made it through a whole lo mein. 100 00:03:31,453 --> 00:03:33,545 If you wrong Toby, you wrong Roy. 101 00:03:33,697 --> 00:03:35,121 And if you wrong Roy, 102 00:03:35,274 --> 00:03:37,198 pretty soon you find yourself drowning in parking tickets 103 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:40,535 and maybe even Toby's extra-large birdbath 104 00:03:40,629 --> 00:03:41,945 behind city hall. 105 00:03:41,964 --> 00:03:43,447 Dad, we've been over this. 106 00:03:43,465 --> 00:03:45,724 You fell in. Nobody was even there. 107 00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:47,208 I have my doubts. 108 00:03:47,377 --> 00:03:50,787 Being a city councilperson is a person job, not a bird job. 109 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,457 -What is wrong with this town? -It's not just Lone Moose. 110 00:03:53,517 --> 00:03:54,733 Having an animal in the government 111 00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:56,050 is a thing in Alaska. 112 00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,885 Talkeetna has a cat mayor named Cat Damon. 113 00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:01,131 Oh, and he has a little chicken friend named Hen Affleck. 114 00:04:01,224 --> 00:04:03,408 It's usually just a novelty meant to sell postcards, 115 00:04:03,635 --> 00:04:06,411 but Toby the Eagle has actual power. 116 00:04:06,563 --> 00:04:08,580 Someone needs to speak up about this. 117 00:04:08,732 --> 00:04:09,748 Oh, I've tried. 118 00:04:09,975 --> 00:04:11,157 A few years ago, I was standing outside 119 00:04:11,310 --> 00:04:13,067 one of my all-time favorite establishments, 120 00:04:13,161 --> 00:04:14,902 the Yoghurt Yhurt, 121 00:04:14,997 --> 00:04:19,073 when, citing an OSHA violation, Roy shut down the Yhurt forever. 122 00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:20,500 But a few months later, 123 00:04:20,652 --> 00:04:23,336 a shop selling nothing but eagle paraphernalia 124 00:04:23,489 --> 00:04:25,747 was allowed to open in the very same spot. 125 00:04:25,841 --> 00:04:28,158 I decided to squash the corruption from within, 126 00:04:28,176 --> 00:04:29,917 by running for city council. 127 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,603 Because I lived in Toby's district, 128 00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:33,605 I had to run against the bird. 129 00:04:33,757 --> 00:04:35,923 I thought it would be pretty easy, but then 130 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,334 it came time for the debate. 131 00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:38,777 Back to what I was trying to say 132 00:04:38,928 --> 00:04:40,112 -about gutter repair. -(screeching) 133 00:04:40,263 --> 00:04:41,780 The safety of our gutters... 134 00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:45,450 Every time I would try to speak, he would shriek over me. 135 00:04:45,602 --> 00:04:46,860 The crowd loved it. 136 00:04:47,012 --> 00:04:48,787 I like when the eagle shrieks. 137 00:04:48,938 --> 00:04:50,122 BEEF: People always vote for the guy 138 00:04:50,273 --> 00:04:51,456 they want to have a beer with. 139 00:04:51,608 --> 00:04:53,517 And that guy was Toby the Eagle. 140 00:04:53,535 --> 00:04:55,294 Well, if we can't get the eagle off the council, 141 00:04:55,445 --> 00:04:58,188 maybe I could at least get my mitten back from his nest? 142 00:04:58,206 --> 00:04:59,631 Well, good luck with that. 143 00:04:59,783 --> 00:05:01,875 When Toby stole Zoya's wig at the Fall Frenzy Dance, 144 00:05:02,027 --> 00:05:04,136 Roy claimed he'd bought the wig for Toby. 145 00:05:04,287 --> 00:05:06,046 (groans) That bird runs this town. 146 00:05:06,198 --> 00:05:07,547 Well, I'm not taking this lying down. 147 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,366 I can't walk around with just one mitten on. 148 00:05:09,459 --> 00:05:10,642 I'm gonna make Roy a gift basket 149 00:05:10,794 --> 00:05:12,460 with some of my dad's chocolate fudge in it 150 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,704 and politely ask him to get my mitten back. 151 00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:16,315 My dad always used to say, 152 00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:19,300 "Once they taste that fudge, they can't hold a grudge." 153 00:05:19,394 --> 00:05:20,727 BETHANY: My parents are technically 154 00:05:20,879 --> 00:05:22,321 still happily married, 155 00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:24,714 but my mom started DVR-ing Dateline, 156 00:05:24,808 --> 00:05:26,716 so I feel that she's going to kill my dad. 157 00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:28,160 Sorry, Bethany. 158 00:05:28,311 --> 00:05:29,811 -Moon? Your turn. -Oh. 159 00:05:29,905 --> 00:05:32,739 I'm still very upset about divorce. 160 00:05:32,891 --> 00:05:35,983 And the only thing that makes me feel better is ice cream, 161 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,061 so why don't we crack open those tubs and... 162 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,729 Well, not quite yet. 163 00:05:39,748 --> 00:05:42,507 First I got to pop in this DVD from headquarters. 164 00:05:42,734 --> 00:05:46,011 ♪ When bananas split, what does it mean? ♪ 165 00:05:46,162 --> 00:05:48,847 ♪ Come sit down and eat some ice cream ♪ 166 00:05:49,074 --> 00:05:51,350 ♪ What happened to Mom, and where is Pop? ♪ 167 00:05:51,501 --> 00:05:54,168 ♪ Let's talk about divorce with a cherry on top ♪ 168 00:05:54,262 --> 00:05:56,355 ♪ Saturday Splits. ♪ 169 00:05:56,464 --> 00:05:58,857 Hi, everybody, I'm actress Lisa Rinna. 170 00:05:59,008 --> 00:06:02,176 I've been happily married for 25 years to Mr. Harry Hamlin, 171 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,270 but my character Taylor's divorce from Kyle McBride 172 00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:05,864 in season six of Melrose Place 173 00:06:06,015 --> 00:06:07,607 was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. 174 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,110 But it taught me that while divorce is painful, 175 00:06:10,262 --> 00:06:11,444 it's not always bad. 176 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,097 Just like this banana that is split in two. 177 00:06:14,116 --> 00:06:16,116 The splitting of your parents may be the very thing 178 00:06:16,268 --> 00:06:19,119 which creates space for all the good in life: 179 00:06:19,271 --> 00:06:22,439 the ice cream, the whipped cream, and of course, 180 00:06:22,532 --> 00:06:24,274 the cherry on top. 181 00:06:24,367 --> 00:06:26,610 Mmm. Now, that's good. 182 00:06:26,628 --> 00:06:29,596 (cries) That's frickin' beautiful, Lisa. 183 00:06:32,801 --> 00:06:34,117 I'm sorry for lying to you about 184 00:06:34,119 --> 00:06:35,785 this ice cream-based divorce club. 185 00:06:36,121 --> 00:06:37,621 Don't be sorry. I just don't know why 186 00:06:37,714 --> 00:06:39,564 you'd hide something this amazing from me. 187 00:06:39,791 --> 00:06:43,217 Sundaes, emotional deep dives, Coach Regina Kiely? 188 00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,569 This club has everything. 189 00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:46,721 I mainly didn't tell you because I thought if Dad 190 00:06:46,815 --> 00:06:48,890 learned about my gigantic helping of ice cream here, 191 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,485 he might not give me my gigantic helping of ice cream at home. 192 00:06:52,638 --> 00:06:54,079 I would never let that happen to you. 193 00:06:54,306 --> 00:06:55,472 But also, you can talk to me 194 00:06:55,565 --> 00:06:57,307 about Mom and Dad's divorce anytime. 195 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,992 -I'm here for you. -Thanks. 196 00:06:59,144 --> 00:07:01,420 But again, I only do it for the ice cream. 197 00:07:01,571 --> 00:07:04,648 Yeah, sure. Just like how I only watch 198 00:07:04,741 --> 00:07:06,574 Quebec's Quiche Queens because Honeybee likes it. 199 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,835 But if I happen to be taking a master class 200 00:07:08,987 --> 00:07:11,988 in Canadian female friendship along the way, so be it. 201 00:07:12,048 --> 00:07:13,657 Are you two Tobins doing okay out here? 202 00:07:13,675 --> 00:07:16,584 Sorry for getting so emotional in your doorframe earlier. 203 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,437 Don't be sorry. Mm-mm. 204 00:07:18,588 --> 00:07:21,181 Even if you're an adult, you're still a child of divorce. 205 00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:23,108 Why don't you come on in, grab a split, 206 00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:24,926 and stay for the wrap-up song? 207 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,670 It's "Believe" by Cher. 208 00:07:26,688 --> 00:07:28,171 Are you frickin' kidding me? 209 00:07:28,264 --> 00:07:30,782 ♪ How could I say no to that? ♪ 210 00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:32,692 ♪ To that, to that... ♪ 211 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,935 HONEYBEE: Well, hi, there. 212 00:07:34,029 --> 00:07:35,954 I'm just hoping to see Councilman Roy. 213 00:07:36,181 --> 00:07:37,605 -He's right there. -Stephanie? 214 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,623 Did you check the schedule? 215 00:07:38,775 --> 00:07:40,517 -You're wide open. -Great. 216 00:07:40,535 --> 00:07:42,869 -How can I help you, ma'am? -Well, your bird... 217 00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:44,688 -Toby. -Yes. Toby. 218 00:07:44,706 --> 00:07:46,965 He stole some items from me, including my pen pal letters, 219 00:07:47,116 --> 00:07:49,693 which I believe he mostly ate, and a single mitten, 220 00:07:49,786 --> 00:07:51,303 which I would like to get back. 221 00:07:51,454 --> 00:07:53,363 I see. You have a formal complaint 222 00:07:53,381 --> 00:07:54,881 against a fellow councilperson. 223 00:07:55,033 --> 00:07:58,201 Business like that is addressed during our council meetings. 224 00:07:58,220 --> 00:08:00,145 But your bird stole from me. 225 00:08:00,296 --> 00:08:01,705 I saw my mitten in the nest outside. 226 00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:03,965 I just want you to get it back from your pet. 227 00:08:04,059 --> 00:08:07,319 If you are requesting something of monetary value from the city, 228 00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:10,304 you can fill out a request form and, again, 229 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:11,881 bring it to the council meeting. 230 00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:13,233 Now, if you'll excuse me, 231 00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:15,660 I have to concentrate really hard when I write, 232 00:08:15,812 --> 00:08:17,570 or my writing is illegible. 233 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,406 Okay, well. Here's a basket with grudge fudge. 234 00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,892 -I cannot accept this bribe. -It's not a bribe. 235 00:08:22,911 --> 00:08:25,170 -(shouts) Forget it. Forget it! -I won't forget it. 236 00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:27,005 I'm writing down a note here on my pad, 237 00:08:27,156 --> 00:08:30,050 and I'll speak to you about it at the council meeting. 238 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,344 (screeches) 239 00:08:32,495 --> 00:08:35,013 Oh, no, oh, no. Help! My basket! 240 00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:37,407 All right, Toby. I give up. 241 00:08:37,425 --> 00:08:39,242 I can't kill you with kindness and I can't kill you 242 00:08:39,335 --> 00:08:41,019 with anything else, because you're endangered. 243 00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:43,580 So I'm gonna go home and watch Quebec's Quiche Q-- 244 00:08:43,673 --> 00:08:46,599 Quebec's Quiche Queens until I calm down. 245 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,176 It's impossible to say and impossible to turn off. 246 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,012 KIELY: Can anyone answer 247 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,939 question one: "What is this a picture of?" 248 00:08:53,091 --> 00:08:55,258 Oh, I can answer that one for you, Coach Kiely. 249 00:08:55,277 --> 00:08:56,517 That's a mom who's dating again. 250 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,611 And that kid's feeling extremely bad 251 00:08:58,764 --> 00:09:01,614 'cause his whole family sitch is about to go kablammo. 252 00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:03,708 Yeah, it happened to me and Moon, am I right? 253 00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,118 -Mm. -Moon's just being quiet 254 00:09:05,270 --> 00:09:06,436 because he's avoiding the truth 255 00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:08,438 about how devastatingly upset he is. 256 00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:09,956 He's like Meryl Streep's character in Doubt. 257 00:09:10,108 --> 00:09:11,608 Sister Aloysius? 258 00:09:11,626 --> 00:09:13,276 (chuckles): Has no one here seen Doubt? 259 00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:14,886 Yes. I watch it every year on my birthday. 260 00:09:14,996 --> 00:09:18,615 All I'm saying is, you got to face the hard stuff head-on. 261 00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:22,043 Otherwise one day... (imitates explosion) 262 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,953 you'll just explode. 263 00:09:23,972 --> 00:09:25,212 (whimpers) I don't want to explode. 264 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,290 No, no, no, you're safe. You're safe, Russell. 265 00:09:27,309 --> 00:09:30,217 Wolf, as the other adult here, I was wondering 266 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,145 if you might help me set up our next activity? 267 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,573 Oh, fo sho. Moon, don't worry. 268 00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:37,467 I'm just gonna be up there at the board helping Coach Kiely. 269 00:09:37,485 --> 00:09:39,469 I am not abandoning you like Mom did. 270 00:09:39,487 --> 00:09:43,064 Oh, good. But if you did want to wait in the car till we're... 271 00:09:43,158 --> 00:09:45,417 I'm here, buddy. I'm here. 272 00:09:45,568 --> 00:09:47,143 HONEYBEE: All right. 273 00:09:47,162 --> 00:09:49,403 It looks like the eagle has landed. Somewhere else. 274 00:09:49,497 --> 00:09:52,165 -I'm just gonna go mail my rewritten letters. -Okay. 275 00:09:52,317 --> 00:09:54,426 I'll just enjoy my seat heater while you're gone. 276 00:09:54,577 --> 00:09:56,911 I know there's not a tiny campfire in here, 277 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,838 but I sure have fun pretending there is. 278 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,506 Could I bother you for a roll of stamps? 279 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,009 And if you have any fun ones, like Beach Snoopy 280 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,919 or a hamburger with eyeballs, 281 00:10:05,013 --> 00:10:06,329 I could really use a pick-me-up. 282 00:10:06,422 --> 00:10:08,440 We only carry bald eagle Forever Stamps. 283 00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:10,333 -Of course you do. -I was able to overhear 284 00:10:10,426 --> 00:10:11,851 your little chat with Roy the other day. 285 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,686 Because I was actively eavesdropping. 286 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,948 You must be pretty mad about Toby taking your stuff. 287 00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,341 Oh, girl, no! 288 00:10:18,434 --> 00:10:20,343 I thought about it, and, uh, I love it. 289 00:10:20,478 --> 00:10:21,953 Roy and Toby went home already. 290 00:10:22,105 --> 00:10:24,180 Well, then yeah! I'm furious! 291 00:10:24,199 --> 00:10:25,272 But what can I do? 292 00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:26,791 I know exactly what you can do. 293 00:10:26,943 --> 00:10:28,460 So, there's no rule preventing an animal 294 00:10:28,653 --> 00:10:30,854 from holding a city council seat here in Lone Moose. 295 00:10:30,872 --> 00:10:32,797 But there is a minimum age required 296 00:10:32,949 --> 00:10:35,208 of anyone in Toby's position: 18. 297 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,877 But get this-- the average eagle's lifespan 298 00:10:38,029 --> 00:10:39,137 is only 18 years. 299 00:10:39,364 --> 00:10:41,547 And I suspect Toby is an early adolescent, 300 00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:43,049 based on his talon size. 301 00:10:43,201 --> 00:10:44,384 And his constant masturbation. 302 00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,386 Toby is in violation of town code? 303 00:10:46,538 --> 00:10:47,628 Exactamundo. 304 00:10:47,797 --> 00:10:50,649 Bring this to Roy and demand that Toby steps down. 305 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:51,966 I would've done it years ago, 306 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,559 but it's political suicide 307 00:10:53,712 --> 00:10:55,211 and I have dreams. 308 00:10:55,304 --> 00:10:56,729 To put it simply, I would like to be 309 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,731 president of the United States. 310 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,550 You didn't get me my mitten back, Roy. 311 00:11:00,568 --> 00:11:03,236 So now... (whispers): I'm coming for your bird. 312 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,664 Ooh, I just gave myself chills. 313 00:11:05,891 --> 00:11:08,500 So, you'll write something that actually contributed 314 00:11:08,651 --> 00:11:10,243 to your parents' split, 315 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,394 because it-- say it with me... 316 00:11:11,413 --> 00:11:13,672 -OTHERS: Wasn't my fault. -Correct. 317 00:11:13,781 --> 00:11:15,581 For instance, in my divorce, 318 00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:18,492 it's not my fault that Samantha and I had different ideas 319 00:11:18,586 --> 00:11:20,069 about saving money. 320 00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:22,514 So, I might write "money." 321 00:11:22,741 --> 00:11:25,517 Samantha also refused to eat peas like a normal woman 322 00:11:25,744 --> 00:11:27,744 and instead would bring the whole plate-- 323 00:11:27,762 --> 00:11:29,503 the whole plate-- up to her lips 324 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,690 and roll them into her open mouth. 325 00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:34,934 So, I also might write "peas." 326 00:11:35,086 --> 00:11:36,252 (inhales deeply, sighs) 327 00:11:36,271 --> 00:11:37,511 Debbie, why don't you start? 328 00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:39,847 Okay. My dad quit his job to record an album 329 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,090 called Simply Ken. 330 00:11:41,184 --> 00:11:42,108 And, now, here I am. 331 00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:43,868 Well, let's see. Uh... 332 00:11:44,095 --> 00:11:45,278 It was totally not my fault. 333 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,706 My mom-- also Moon's mom-- just met another guy. 334 00:11:47,933 --> 00:11:49,615 At the dance studio in Death Cliff. 335 00:11:49,768 --> 00:11:51,859 He was actually my instructor, Marcus. 336 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:52,936 And I introduced them. 337 00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:54,787 On the evening of my first recital. 338 00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:56,697 I remember standing backstage. 339 00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,867 But I didn't even get to perform, because I saw... 340 00:11:59,961 --> 00:12:00,868 Mom? 341 00:12:00,962 --> 00:12:02,536 And Marcus? 342 00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:05,873 Kissing?! (wailing) 343 00:12:05,967 --> 00:12:07,467 Paul Simon's Pee-Pee! 344 00:12:07,619 --> 00:12:09,060 It was my fault! 345 00:12:12,048 --> 00:12:13,565 (crying, chewing) 346 00:12:14,309 --> 00:12:15,959 It was all my fault. 347 00:12:16,052 --> 00:12:17,235 This club is a lie. 348 00:12:17,386 --> 00:12:19,479 And this banana split is a lie banana split. 349 00:12:19,631 --> 00:12:22,389 Wolf, I can see that you're in, uh, a lot of pain. 350 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,650 But you're scaring everyone. 351 00:12:24,803 --> 00:12:26,227 Russell's day terrors are back. 352 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,728 -(Russell shrieks) -I'm sorry, 353 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,247 but I have to ask you to leave. 354 00:12:29,398 --> 00:12:31,491 But what about Moon? He really needs me in there. 355 00:12:31,643 --> 00:12:33,084 I don't think you can help your brother 356 00:12:33,311 --> 00:12:34,494 till you help yourself, Wolf. 357 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,087 Okay. I understand. 358 00:12:36,239 --> 00:12:39,424 May I make myself a replacement banana split to go? 359 00:12:39,651 --> 00:12:41,408 Okay, I'm going. 360 00:12:41,503 --> 00:12:44,912 ♪ I can feel something inside me say ♪ 361 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:49,158 ♪ I really don't think Wolf's strong enough, oh! ♪ 362 00:12:49,177 --> 00:12:52,328 BEEF: Uh, no, Ham, it doesn't come like that. 363 00:12:52,347 --> 00:12:55,832 I make the bacon into a little smile on the pancake. 364 00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:58,184 What about the French toast with the strawberry lips? 365 00:12:58,336 --> 00:13:00,761 Are you asking me if the toast has lips, son? 366 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,389 -Morning, Honeybee. Where's Wolf? -He's in the guesthouse. 367 00:13:03,541 --> 00:13:05,116 He's upset, but I don't know what's wrong. 368 00:13:05,343 --> 00:13:07,401 He said it had something to do with cleaning out the van. 369 00:13:07,512 --> 00:13:09,679 I bet he found an old English muffin and ate it again 370 00:13:09,697 --> 00:13:12,031 and doesn't want to tell me he has diarrhea. 371 00:13:12,183 --> 00:13:13,182 I'll go check on him. 372 00:13:13,201 --> 00:13:14,459 All right, I'm off to confront Roy. 373 00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:17,020 We'd better come with you. You know, as backup. 374 00:13:17,038 --> 00:13:19,280 Also, maybe I want Mr. Wind 375 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:22,425 to run his fingers through my hair again. 376 00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:25,378 -Wolf? -Oh, hey, Moon. 377 00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:28,214 You can tell Coach Kiely that I can buy my own ice cream, 378 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,033 'cause I'm a big boy with money. 379 00:13:30,051 --> 00:13:31,551 I probably won't tell her that. 380 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:34,813 -Hey, do you maybe want to go do something? -Why? 381 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,964 I'll just end up ruining something perfect. 382 00:13:37,058 --> 00:13:38,483 Like I ruined Mom and Dad's marriage 383 00:13:38,634 --> 00:13:39,876 and your divorce club 384 00:13:39,894 --> 00:13:40,968 and these pajamas. 385 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,636 Okay. But the thing is, 386 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:45,565 in health class, they told us we need to start wearing deodorant, 387 00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:48,901 so I need to go to the drug store in Death Cliff. 388 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,144 Oh, Drug Cliff? 389 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,571 They have a sick ibuprofen selection. 390 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:55,058 Yeah. Dad's busy, so I was hoping you could take me. 391 00:13:55,151 --> 00:13:56,242 Okay, fine. 392 00:13:56,394 --> 00:13:58,061 But I'm not changing out of these pajamas. 393 00:13:58,079 --> 00:13:59,412 Not for anyone. Ever. 394 00:13:59,564 --> 00:14:01,747 Except maybe for Barack Obama, if he were to ask. 395 00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:02,748 Or Michelle. 396 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,509 Or Malia. Or Sasha. 397 00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:07,070 If I'm not back in 15 minutes, 398 00:14:07,088 --> 00:14:09,922 honk the horn three times and drive through his front door. 399 00:14:10,075 --> 00:14:11,516 Or we could come with you. 400 00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:14,185 Thanks, Beef, but this is between the bird and the bee. 401 00:14:14,337 --> 00:14:15,669 And the Roy. 402 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,689 Oh, you guys want to play Action Movie while we wait? 403 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,766 Way ahead of you! (grunting) 404 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:23,269 ROY: Ooh, I hear someone outside. 405 00:14:23,421 --> 00:14:25,012 Must be your birthday present getting delivered, 406 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,090 my handsome Tobe-lerone. 407 00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:28,107 Oh, it's you. 408 00:14:28,259 --> 00:14:30,259 You've been a bad boy, Roy. 409 00:14:30,278 --> 00:14:31,594 Don't mind the filing cabinets. 410 00:14:31,613 --> 00:14:34,021 I feel it's important to keep paper copies 411 00:14:34,115 --> 00:14:35,522 of all the town budgets because... 412 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,208 (whispers): what if they hack the server? 413 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:38,618 What if who hacks the server? 414 00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:41,212 Well, there are a lot of threats out there. 415 00:14:41,439 --> 00:14:42,788 Like, I don't know what it is, 416 00:14:42,941 --> 00:14:45,199 but I keep hearing about Mario Kart? 417 00:14:45,293 --> 00:14:47,293 Well, I just came to show you this. 418 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,946 Toby's too young to hold office. Legally. 419 00:14:50,039 --> 00:14:52,115 Either he steps down or I go public. 420 00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:53,950 Oh, no. What have I done? 421 00:14:54,043 --> 00:14:56,469 I'm so sorry to the people of Lone Moose. 422 00:14:56,621 --> 00:14:57,562 Uh, they trusted us. 423 00:14:57,789 --> 00:14:59,455 And I'm sorry to you. 424 00:14:59,548 --> 00:15:01,290 I never wanted to violate town code. 425 00:15:01,309 --> 00:15:03,234 -So you knew? -Of course I knew. 426 00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:05,904 I have that book memorized. I-I love town code. 427 00:15:06,055 --> 00:15:07,388 More than anything in the world. 428 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,740 Well, except Toby. 429 00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:11,484 If you love it so much, why'd you break the code, Roy? 430 00:15:11,636 --> 00:15:13,986 (sighs) I've always wanted to work on the council. 431 00:15:14,139 --> 00:15:15,638 Ever since I was a little boy. 432 00:15:15,731 --> 00:15:16,989 But people wouldn't elect me. 433 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,158 They found me dry or boring. 434 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,901 After a couple failed campaigns, 435 00:15:20,995 --> 00:15:23,421 I gave up my dreams and moved out here. 436 00:15:23,648 --> 00:15:25,256 And that's when I was first attacked by Toby. 437 00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:27,667 But then, much later, he befriended me. 438 00:15:27,819 --> 00:15:30,094 Because I left out a ton of meat for him. 439 00:15:30,246 --> 00:15:32,079 Then I read about a guinea pig who was 440 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,506 Alaska's lieutenant governor 441 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,748 -in the 1950s... -Wait, 442 00:15:34,884 --> 00:15:37,101 a guinea pig was lieutenant governor? 443 00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:38,269 Eh, for a brief time. 444 00:15:38,496 --> 00:15:40,012 He died in office. He overheated. 445 00:15:40,165 --> 00:15:42,014 You're really not supposed to put them in little suits. 446 00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:43,516 But inspiration struck. 447 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,610 I put Toby on the ticket with me and, voilà, 448 00:15:45,837 --> 00:15:49,280 I wasn't just the boring guy with the plan for sewage reform. 449 00:15:49,432 --> 00:15:52,175 I was the boring guy with the plan for sewage reform 450 00:15:52,193 --> 00:15:53,451 and the eagle. We won! 451 00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:56,345 All I ever wanted to do was help this town. 452 00:15:56,439 --> 00:15:58,181 And be best friends with an eagle. 453 00:15:58,274 --> 00:15:59,457 And I was living the dream. 454 00:15:59,608 --> 00:16:01,960 But I guess we flew too close to the sun. 455 00:16:02,111 --> 00:16:03,686 I mean, he did. I-I can't fly. 456 00:16:03,705 --> 00:16:06,189 Toby and I will resign at the council meeting. 457 00:16:06,282 --> 00:16:08,466 -(screech) -We won't work together anymore, 458 00:16:08,693 --> 00:16:10,209 but he'll still be my guy. 459 00:16:10,361 --> 00:16:12,878 HONEYBEE: You really do love that bird, huh? 460 00:16:13,031 --> 00:16:14,305 He's my best friend. 461 00:16:14,532 --> 00:16:16,140 My only friend. 462 00:16:16,292 --> 00:16:17,475 But rules are rules. 463 00:16:17,626 --> 00:16:19,644 At least I lived my dream for a little while. 464 00:16:19,795 --> 00:16:21,145 You got me fair and square. 465 00:16:21,297 --> 00:16:22,872 (quietly): Oh, my God. I'm a dream killer. 466 00:16:22,890 --> 00:16:24,631 I'm taking away this man's kite camp. 467 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:25,650 Hold on. 468 00:16:25,801 --> 00:16:27,560 Roy, if there's one thing I don't do, 469 00:16:27,712 --> 00:16:29,045 it's steal people's dreams. 470 00:16:29,063 --> 00:16:30,304 If I can help you fix this problem, 471 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,323 can you get my mitten back from Toby's nest? 472 00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:33,307 He might bite me. 473 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,401 Like, a lot. But I can try. 474 00:16:35,553 --> 00:16:36,995 Let me look at that town code real quick. 475 00:16:37,222 --> 00:16:38,812 -(horn honking) -Oh, no! Oh, no! 476 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,147 Don't drive into the house, guys! 477 00:16:40,241 --> 00:16:41,574 We're kind of friends now! 478 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,726 WOLF: All right, time to get you some deodorant. 479 00:16:43,819 --> 00:16:45,745 And I might treat myself to a tiny little bottle of shampoo. 480 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:49,565 I love to imagine I'm a giant who's washing his hair. 481 00:16:49,584 --> 00:16:52,235 Wolf, I don't actually need deodorant. 482 00:16:52,328 --> 00:16:55,179 I brought you here to deal with your past. 483 00:16:55,331 --> 00:16:56,347 WOLF: Oh, no! I forgot 484 00:16:56,499 --> 00:16:58,499 the ding dang dance studio was here! 485 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,059 Mambo number crap! 486 00:17:04,265 --> 00:17:05,765 Uh-uh, uh-uh. No way. No, no, no, no. 487 00:17:05,917 --> 00:17:08,008 Wolf, this is what the Saturday Splits is all about. 488 00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:10,194 The only way to deal with your empty heart bowl 489 00:17:10,346 --> 00:17:12,772 is to fill it up with the creamy truth. 490 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,423 (sighs) You're right, Moon. 491 00:17:14,517 --> 00:17:15,849 Let's get to scoopin'. 492 00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:18,444 -(bell tinkles) -Hello. Sorry to bother you, ma'am. 493 00:17:18,596 --> 00:17:20,371 Mary. Are you here for Dubstep Delight? 494 00:17:20,598 --> 00:17:22,765 Because Lace broke both his knees, so it's canceled. 495 00:17:22,784 --> 00:17:25,043 Actually, we're just hoping to sort some events 496 00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:26,602 that took place here a few years ago. 497 00:17:26,621 --> 00:17:28,120 -My brother, Wolf Tobin... -Tobin? 498 00:17:28,273 --> 00:17:29,972 Oh, I know exactly who you are. 499 00:17:29,974 --> 00:17:30,956 You're Kathleen's kid. 500 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,942 My husband Marcus left me for your mom. 501 00:17:33,035 --> 00:17:34,201 Oh, my God. 502 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,294 So that makes you... 503 00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:36,220 my mother?! 504 00:17:36,447 --> 00:17:37,538 Oh, no, sorry. 505 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,465 It just means I ruined your marriage, too. 506 00:17:39,617 --> 00:17:42,118 And when he left, he saddled me with this dance studio. 507 00:17:42,136 --> 00:17:43,469 And I can't even dance. 508 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,878 Look. (grunting) 509 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:47,473 This is genuinely the best I can dance. 510 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,566 I'm so sorry. 511 00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:50,234 My selfish desire to learn tap 512 00:17:50,386 --> 00:17:52,052 ruined so many lives. 513 00:17:52,146 --> 00:17:54,363 I'm gonna go stand by the car. 514 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,076 Wolf. Wolf! Look at this. 515 00:17:58,227 --> 00:17:59,393 Oh. "Boomfunk!" 516 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,636 (chuckles) That's fun to say. 517 00:18:00,729 --> 00:18:02,321 No, Wolf, look at the picture. 518 00:18:02,473 --> 00:18:04,916 Oh, my Dancing with the Stars. That's... 519 00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:06,567 -MOON: Mom. -And, wait, 520 00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,312 this picture is from way before I ever took that tap class here. 521 00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:10,571 So if Mom was here then, 522 00:18:10,706 --> 00:18:12,573 I guess I didn't introduce her to Marcus. 523 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,576 Yeah, they were running around for years, and everyone knew it. 524 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,244 Except me, ole Mary. 525 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,155 This is amazing news! 526 00:18:19,173 --> 00:18:20,414 And also very upsetting. 527 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,824 I'm very sorry about your marriage, Mary. 528 00:18:21,917 --> 00:18:23,676 But this means it wasn't my fault! 529 00:18:23,828 --> 00:18:26,345 It wouldn't have been your fault either way, Wolf. 530 00:18:26,497 --> 00:18:28,998 Even if you had introduced Mom and Marcus, 531 00:18:29,016 --> 00:18:31,350 this was 100% their fault. 532 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,852 And, honestly, I'm kind of glad 533 00:18:33,004 --> 00:18:34,503 I don't have to deal with Marcus anymore. 534 00:18:34,597 --> 00:18:37,115 His fedora collection took up the entire bathroom. 535 00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:38,674 We got in so many fights 536 00:18:38,693 --> 00:18:41,268 because I would accidentally poop in his hats. 537 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,362 Moon, thank you for bringing me here. 538 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,456 Gosh, I'm so friggin' impressed by you. 539 00:18:45,608 --> 00:18:48,609 You're mature and thoughtful and smart and stuff. 540 00:18:48,703 --> 00:18:50,444 I mean, it's insane you turned out that way, 541 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,946 given what a frang dang mess our family is. 542 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:56,025 Wolf, I wasn't lying when I said I only go to Saturday Splits 543 00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:57,193 for the ice cream. 544 00:18:57,286 --> 00:18:58,619 My childhood has been wonderful. 545 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,788 I've always felt like I have two pretty great parents, 546 00:19:01,883 --> 00:19:03,457 Dad and... you. 547 00:19:03,551 --> 00:19:05,309 I mean, you taught me how to cartwheel. 548 00:19:05,461 --> 00:19:07,812 -Brag. -How to double-dip a French fry 549 00:19:07,963 --> 00:19:09,538 without contaminating the ketchup. 550 00:19:09,557 --> 00:19:11,540 And, just today, you dropped everything 551 00:19:11,559 --> 00:19:13,726 to drive me out here to buy deodorant. 552 00:19:13,878 --> 00:19:14,560 I love you, Moon. 553 00:19:14,712 --> 00:19:16,045 Love you, too, Wolf. 554 00:19:16,063 --> 00:19:17,638 Whew. (chuckles) You know what? 555 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,899 It might actually be time to get that deodorant. 556 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,050 That's probably me. 557 00:19:21,143 --> 00:19:22,660 It has been a morning. 558 00:19:22,811 --> 00:19:24,387 Moon, if it's okay with you, 559 00:19:24,447 --> 00:19:26,980 I think there's one more thing I need to take care of 560 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,532 before we leave. 561 00:19:28,685 --> 00:19:30,501 Okay! You guys ready? 562 00:19:30,653 --> 00:19:31,985 Mary, count us in! 563 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,746 One, two, three, four. 564 00:19:33,898 --> 00:19:36,490 ♪ What am I supposed to do? ♪ 565 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,585 ♪ Just sit around and wait for you? ♪ 566 00:19:39,737 --> 00:19:41,679 ♪ Well, I can't do that ♪ 567 00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:45,349 ♪ There's just no turning back ♪ 568 00:19:46,168 --> 00:19:49,412 ♪ Do you believe in life after love? ♪ 569 00:19:49,505 --> 00:19:52,081 ♪ After love, after love, after love... ♪ 570 00:19:52,174 --> 00:19:54,099 I will now begin roll call. 571 00:19:54,252 --> 00:19:56,009 Roy Fletcher. Present. 572 00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,011 Toby Eagle. Present. 573 00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,846 Gwen Jorgenson. Present. 574 00:19:59,941 --> 00:20:04,276 Now the council will open itself up to constituent questions. 575 00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:07,112 (sighs) Well, if there are no constituents present... 576 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:12,043 Hello! We're here to talk about town code section 14.c58. 577 00:20:12,194 --> 00:20:14,103 "Human and other types of children 578 00:20:14,121 --> 00:20:15,938 aren't allowed to hold office"? 579 00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:17,273 That seems wrong. 580 00:20:17,291 --> 00:20:19,199 Kids are capable of great things. 581 00:20:19,293 --> 00:20:20,867 What about Greta Thunberg? 582 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:21,902 And Malala? 583 00:20:21,904 --> 00:20:22,887 And what about Cupid? 584 00:20:23,038 --> 00:20:24,447 You like falling in love, right? 585 00:20:24,465 --> 00:20:27,058 Anybody who has a dream should at least get a chance 586 00:20:27,209 --> 00:20:28,375 to live that dream. 587 00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:30,453 Including children and children eagles. 588 00:20:30,546 --> 00:20:32,230 And, therefore, I hereby propose 589 00:20:32,381 --> 00:20:34,732 the following changes to the town code. 590 00:20:35,643 --> 00:20:36,901 MOON: I will say, 591 00:20:37,052 --> 00:20:39,295 Coach Kiely has nothing on your toppings game. 592 00:20:39,313 --> 00:20:41,146 Well, she's not the only life advice-based 593 00:20:41,299 --> 00:20:43,056 ice cream club in town. 594 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,483 Now, we have a lot to get through. 595 00:20:44,635 --> 00:20:47,060 First, pretty soon, you're gonna have to start shaving. 596 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,305 And the answer is, yes, buy a lady razor. 597 00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:51,082 They come with lotion strips. 598 00:20:51,309 --> 00:20:52,899 Why deprive yourself of that? 599 00:20:52,994 --> 00:20:54,326 Also, here's something else-- 600 00:20:54,479 --> 00:20:57,480 you don't have to measure every foot-long sub you buy. 601 00:20:57,498 --> 00:20:59,423 Sometimes, you just have to trust. 602 00:20:59,650 --> 00:21:02,909 ♪ Every nook and cranny holds some treasure of its own ♪ 603 00:21:03,004 --> 00:21:04,837 ♪ When I whip open my trash bag ♪ 604 00:21:04,989 --> 00:21:07,414 ♪ They call me Indi-van-a Jones ♪ 605 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:10,826 ♪ Don't bother me, I'm in the van cleaning zone ♪ 606 00:21:10,845 --> 00:21:14,772 ♪ Don't bother Wolf, he's in the van cleaning zone ♪ 607 00:21:14,923 --> 00:21:17,333 ♪ On an exploratory mission, like Jacques Cousteau ♪ 608 00:21:17,426 --> 00:21:19,110 ♪ Or whoever dug up Rome ♪ 609 00:21:19,261 --> 00:21:21,612 ♪ A baby tooth, a peanut, an amethyst earring ♪ 610 00:21:21,764 --> 00:21:24,523 -♪ That's my friggin' birthstone ♪ -♪ Shh ♪ 611 00:21:24,675 --> 00:21:27,100 ♪ Don't bother me, I'm in the van cleaning zone ♪ 612 00:21:27,194 --> 00:21:29,345 -♪ Shh, don't bother Wolf, he's in ♪ -♪ Don't bother me, I'm in ♪ 613 00:21:29,438 --> 00:21:31,347 ♪ The van cleaning zone! ♪ 614 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,457 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 615 00:21:33,684 --> 00:21:34,750 and TOYOTA.