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00:00:03,229 --> 00:00:04,911
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
2
00:00:05,064 --> 00:00:06,230
♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
3
00:00:06,323 --> 00:00:07,748
♪ From longest night
to longest day ♪
4
00:00:07,842 --> 00:00:11,593
♪ In the Great North. ♪
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00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,097
(cheering)
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00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:19,076
♪ Saturday, in the van ♪
7
00:00:19,169 --> 00:00:22,246
♪ Taking you
to recorder practice ♪
8
00:00:22,264 --> 00:00:25,415
♪ While you're there,
I clean the car ♪
9
00:00:25,509 --> 00:00:28,085
♪ Keeping anything
that I find... ♪
10
00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:31,271
Another super spicy
Saturday recorder band practice.
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00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,680
Now hit me with a few bars.
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00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,591
I'd rather save it
for rehearsal.
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My lips get tired.
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From playing my recorder
so well.
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Respect. You know,
there's no telling
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00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:42,266
what I'll find cleaning
out this Van-iel Radcliffe.
17
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(chuckles): But whatever it is,
I get to keep it.
18
00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,693
Quarter roll of duct tape? Mine.
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This map of Lone Moose
from before we got the car wash?
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All mine, baby!
21
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(chuckles)
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00:00:50,776 --> 00:00:52,200
See you in 55 minutes.
23
00:00:52,294 --> 00:00:53,627
Have fun with your recorder.
24
00:00:53,779 --> 00:00:57,038
And also, record this:
I love you very much.
25
00:00:57,058 --> 00:01:00,041
(accent):
There's gold in this here van.
26
00:01:00,135 --> 00:01:01,376
All right, kids, huddle up.
27
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,895
Welcome back to Saturday Splits,
28
00:01:03,122 --> 00:01:04,897
where we take a deep dive
into divorce trauma
29
00:01:05,124 --> 00:01:08,141
and those gallon tubs
of ice cream.
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We're gonna to kick off today's
processing with a few reps
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00:01:10,479 --> 00:01:11,553
of free share.
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Then, I'll pop in
this instructional DVD
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and we'll round this all out
with some delicious,
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00:01:16,802 --> 00:01:18,243
unstructured banana split time.
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00:01:18,470 --> 00:01:20,971
-Who'd like to share first?
-RUSSELL: I'll go, Coach Kiely.
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I've composed a poem
about and for
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my mom's perfect boyfriend
Jamie.
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"Not a dad. Not a friend.
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Jamie is a man in between."
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HONEYBEE:
Thanks for coming with me
to mail my pen pal letters,
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00:01:32,985 --> 00:01:34,909
-you guys.
-Well, I am happy
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to accompany you
to the post office.
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00:01:36,505 --> 00:01:39,323
I'll run any errands with you.
Of any kind.
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At any time.
45
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,916
Because you love my convertible?
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00:01:42,010 --> 00:01:43,160
(laughs)
What? No.
47
00:01:43,178 --> 00:01:44,328
Convertibles are silly.
48
00:01:44,346 --> 00:01:45,662
And we shouldn't
put the top down.
49
00:01:45,681 --> 00:01:46,847
It's much too cold.
50
00:01:46,999 --> 00:01:48,607
(giggles)
51
00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:50,609
I don't enjoy this.
52
00:01:50,794 --> 00:01:53,112
-I'm not a puppy.
-I would be so embarrassed
53
00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:56,506
if a certain someone saw us
in this beautiful car.
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00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,600
Should we go drive
by Stacy B's house again?
55
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HONEYBEE: Okay, got to mail
these pen pal letters.
56
00:02:01,104 --> 00:02:02,979
This one to Jessica in Decatur
is very important.
57
00:02:03,031 --> 00:02:05,031
The zoning board shut down
her kite-flying camp
58
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,683
because it was too close
to the airport.
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00:02:06,702 --> 00:02:09,035
I hate seeing someone
get their dream taken away.
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Even if that dream is kites
and I don't understand it.
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-(screeches)
-(shouts) What the...?
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Honeybee, don't move a muscle.
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Is this like Jurassic Park?
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If I don't move,
it can't see me?
65
00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,715
-(screeches)
-(screams)
66
00:02:21,867 --> 00:02:22,883
-Uh-oh! Stay calm.
-Oh, no!
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00:02:23,035 --> 00:02:24,534
-He got my mitten!
-BEEF: Stay calm.
68
00:02:24,553 --> 00:02:25,477
Coming to get you.
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00:02:25,704 --> 00:02:27,295
HAM:
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
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00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,373
(shouts)
Oh, no, your legs!
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00:02:29,466 --> 00:02:31,708
Keep driving, I'll get them in!
72
00:02:31,727 --> 00:02:33,210
What the hell was that?
73
00:02:33,303 --> 00:02:36,137
That was Toby the Eagle.
74
00:02:36,231 --> 00:02:37,805
Hey, a purple Skittle!
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00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,308
Mmm, mmm-- Nope, that's a bead.
76
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,885
Moon's recorder?
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00:02:41,904 --> 00:02:44,479
(stammers) You don't become
first chair in recorder choir
78
00:02:44,573 --> 00:02:45,813
by forgetting your instrument.
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00:02:45,908 --> 00:02:47,815
You probably become,
like, third chair.
80
00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:49,651
And then maybe quit school?
81
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,912
And run away from home
to live in a skate park?
82
00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:54,247
Oh, no. Moon!
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00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,732
HAM:
I still can't believe
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00:02:55,825 --> 00:02:57,401
Toby the Eagle got your mitten.
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00:02:57,494 --> 00:02:59,236
That's below the belt.
At least for me,
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-but my arms are pretty long.
-It was below the belt, Ham.
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That's why I'm calling
animal control.
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Honeybee, you can't.
89
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:08,353
-Why?
-(sighs) Toby isn't
just any eagle.
90
00:03:08,505 --> 00:03:11,172
He's actually a Lone Moose
city councilperson.
91
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:12,357
No, he's not, he's a bird.
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00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:14,175
Toby is, in fact,
a city councilperson.
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And Toby's handler Roy
is also a councilperson,
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00:03:17,589 --> 00:03:20,515
and together they have
a powerful two-thirds majority.
95
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,368
The third councilperson Gwen
just gave up years ago.
96
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,111
These days,
she spends council meetings
97
00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:27,113
practicing picking things up
with her bare feet.
98
00:03:27,266 --> 00:03:29,783
I saw her at the mall using
chopsticks with her toes.
99
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,359
She made it through
a whole lo mein.
100
00:03:31,453 --> 00:03:33,545
If you wrong Toby,
you wrong Roy.
101
00:03:33,697 --> 00:03:35,121
And if you wrong Roy,
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00:03:35,274 --> 00:03:37,198
pretty soon you find yourself
drowning in parking tickets
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00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:40,535
and maybe even
Toby's extra-large birdbath
104
00:03:40,629 --> 00:03:41,945
behind city hall.
105
00:03:41,964 --> 00:03:43,447
Dad, we've been over this.
106
00:03:43,465 --> 00:03:45,724
You fell in.
Nobody was even there.
107
00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:47,208
I have my doubts.
108
00:03:47,377 --> 00:03:50,787
Being a city councilperson
is a person job, not a bird job.
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-What is wrong with this town?
-It's not just Lone Moose.
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Having an animal
in the government
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00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:56,050
is a thing in Alaska.
112
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,885
Talkeetna has a cat mayor
named Cat Damon.
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00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:01,131
Oh, and he has a little chicken
friend named Hen Affleck.
114
00:04:01,224 --> 00:04:03,408
It's usually just a novelty
meant to sell postcards,
115
00:04:03,635 --> 00:04:06,411
but Toby the Eagle
has actual power.
116
00:04:06,563 --> 00:04:08,580
Someone needs to speak up
about this.
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00:04:08,732 --> 00:04:09,748
Oh, I've tried.
118
00:04:09,975 --> 00:04:11,157
A few years ago,
I was standing outside
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one of my all-time favorite
establishments,
120
00:04:13,161 --> 00:04:14,902
the Yoghurt Yhurt,
121
00:04:14,997 --> 00:04:19,073
when, citing an OSHA violation,
Roy shut down the Yhurt forever.
122
00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:20,500
But a few months later,
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00:04:20,652 --> 00:04:23,336
a shop selling nothing
but eagle paraphernalia
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00:04:23,489 --> 00:04:25,747
was allowed to open
in the very same spot.
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00:04:25,841 --> 00:04:28,158
I decided to squash
the corruption from within,
126
00:04:28,176 --> 00:04:29,917
by running for city council.
127
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,603
Because I lived
in Toby's district,
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00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:33,605
I had to run against the bird.
129
00:04:33,757 --> 00:04:35,923
I thought it would be
pretty easy, but then
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00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,334
it came time for the debate.
131
00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:38,777
Back to what I was trying to say
132
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-about gutter repair.
-(screeching)
133
00:04:40,263 --> 00:04:41,780
The safety of our gutters...
134
00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:45,450
Every time I would try to speak,
he would shriek over me.
135
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The crowd loved it.
136
00:04:47,012 --> 00:04:48,787
I like when the eagle shrieks.
137
00:04:48,938 --> 00:04:50,122
BEEF:
People always vote for the guy
138
00:04:50,273 --> 00:04:51,456
they want to have a beer with.
139
00:04:51,608 --> 00:04:53,517
And that guy was Toby the Eagle.
140
00:04:53,535 --> 00:04:55,294
Well, if we can't get
the eagle off the council,
141
00:04:55,445 --> 00:04:58,188
maybe I could at least get
my mitten back from his nest?
142
00:04:58,206 --> 00:04:59,631
Well, good luck with that.
143
00:04:59,783 --> 00:05:01,875
When Toby stole Zoya's wig
at the Fall Frenzy Dance,
144
00:05:02,027 --> 00:05:04,136
Roy claimed
he'd bought the wig for Toby.
145
00:05:04,287 --> 00:05:06,046
(groans)
That bird runs this town.
146
00:05:06,198 --> 00:05:07,547
Well, I'm not taking this
lying down.
147
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,366
I can't walk around
with just one mitten on.
148
00:05:09,459 --> 00:05:10,642
I'm gonna make Roy a gift basket
149
00:05:10,794 --> 00:05:12,460
with some of my dad's
chocolate fudge in it
150
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,704
and politely ask him
to get my mitten back.
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00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:16,315
My dad always used to say,
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00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:19,300
"Once they taste that fudge,
they can't hold a grudge."
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00:05:19,394 --> 00:05:20,727
BETHANY:
My parents are technically
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00:05:20,879 --> 00:05:22,321
still happily married,
155
00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:24,714
but my mom started
DVR-ing Dateline,
156
00:05:24,808 --> 00:05:26,716
so I feel that she's
going to kill my dad.
157
00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:28,160
Sorry, Bethany.
158
00:05:28,311 --> 00:05:29,811
-Moon? Your turn.
-Oh.
159
00:05:29,905 --> 00:05:32,739
I'm still very upset
about divorce.
160
00:05:32,891 --> 00:05:35,983
And the only thing that makes me
feel better is ice cream,
161
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,061
so why don't we crack open
those tubs and...
162
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,729
Well, not quite yet.
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00:05:39,748 --> 00:05:42,507
First I got to pop in this DVD
from headquarters.
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♪ When bananas split,
what does it mean? ♪
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00:05:46,162 --> 00:05:48,847
♪ Come sit down
and eat some ice cream ♪
166
00:05:49,074 --> 00:05:51,350
♪ What happened to Mom,
and where is Pop? ♪
167
00:05:51,501 --> 00:05:54,168
♪ Let's talk about divorce
with a cherry on top ♪
168
00:05:54,262 --> 00:05:56,355
♪ Saturday Splits. ♪
169
00:05:56,464 --> 00:05:58,857
Hi, everybody,
I'm actress Lisa Rinna.
170
00:05:59,008 --> 00:06:02,176
I've been happily married for
25 years to Mr. Harry Hamlin,
171
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,270
but my character Taylor's
divorce from Kyle McBride
172
00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:05,864
in season six of Melrose Place
173
00:06:06,015 --> 00:06:07,607
was one of the hardest things
I've ever gone through.
174
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,110
But it taught me
that while divorce is painful,
175
00:06:10,262 --> 00:06:11,444
it's not always bad.
176
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,097
Just like this banana
that is split in two.
177
00:06:14,116 --> 00:06:16,116
The splitting of your parents
may be the very thing
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00:06:16,268 --> 00:06:19,119
which creates space
for all the good in life:
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00:06:19,271 --> 00:06:22,439
the ice cream, the whipped
cream, and of course,
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00:06:22,532 --> 00:06:24,274
the cherry on top.
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00:06:24,367 --> 00:06:26,610
Mmm. Now, that's good.
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00:06:26,628 --> 00:06:29,596
(cries)
That's frickin' beautiful, Lisa.
183
00:06:32,801 --> 00:06:34,117
I'm sorry for lying to you about
184
00:06:34,119 --> 00:06:35,785
this ice cream-based
divorce club.
185
00:06:36,121 --> 00:06:37,621
Don't be sorry.
I just don't know why
186
00:06:37,714 --> 00:06:39,564
you'd hide something
this amazing from me.
187
00:06:39,791 --> 00:06:43,217
Sundaes, emotional deep dives,
Coach Regina Kiely?
188
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,569
This club has everything.
189
00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:46,721
I mainly didn't tell you
because I thought if Dad
190
00:06:46,815 --> 00:06:48,890
learned about my gigantic
helping of ice cream here,
191
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,485
he might not give me my gigantic
helping of ice cream at home.
192
00:06:52,638 --> 00:06:54,079
I would never let that happen
to you.
193
00:06:54,306 --> 00:06:55,472
But also, you can talk to me
194
00:06:55,565 --> 00:06:57,307
about Mom and Dad's divorce
anytime.
195
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,992
-I'm here for you.
-Thanks.
196
00:06:59,144 --> 00:07:01,420
But again, I only do it
for the ice cream.
197
00:07:01,571 --> 00:07:04,648
Yeah, sure.
Just like how I only watch
198
00:07:04,741 --> 00:07:06,574
Quebec's Quiche Queens
because Honeybee likes it.
199
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,835
But if I happen to be
taking a master class
200
00:07:08,987 --> 00:07:11,988
in Canadian female friendship
along the way, so be it.
201
00:07:12,048 --> 00:07:13,657
Are you two Tobins
doing okay out here?
202
00:07:13,675 --> 00:07:16,584
Sorry for getting so emotional
in your doorframe earlier.
203
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,437
Don't be sorry. Mm-mm.
204
00:07:18,588 --> 00:07:21,181
Even if you're an adult,
you're still a child of divorce.
205
00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:23,108
Why don't you come on in,
grab a split,
206
00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:24,926
and stay for the wrap-up song?
207
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,670
It's "Believe" by Cher.
208
00:07:26,688 --> 00:07:28,171
Are you frickin' kidding me?
209
00:07:28,264 --> 00:07:30,782
♪ How could I say no to that? ♪
210
00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:32,692
♪ To that, to that... ♪
211
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,935
HONEYBEE:
Well, hi, there.
212
00:07:34,029 --> 00:07:35,954
I'm just hoping
to see Councilman Roy.
213
00:07:36,181 --> 00:07:37,605
-He's right there.
-Stephanie?
214
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,623
Did you check the schedule?
215
00:07:38,775 --> 00:07:40,517
-You're wide open.
-Great.
216
00:07:40,535 --> 00:07:42,869
-How can I help you, ma'am?
-Well, your bird...
217
00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:44,688
-Toby.
-Yes. Toby.
218
00:07:44,706 --> 00:07:46,965
He stole some items from me,
including my pen pal letters,
219
00:07:47,116 --> 00:07:49,693
which I believe he mostly ate,
and a single mitten,
220
00:07:49,786 --> 00:07:51,303
which I would like to get back.
221
00:07:51,454 --> 00:07:53,363
I see. You have
a formal complaint
222
00:07:53,381 --> 00:07:54,881
against a fellow councilperson.
223
00:07:55,033 --> 00:07:58,201
Business like that is addressed
during our council meetings.
224
00:07:58,220 --> 00:08:00,145
But your bird stole from me.
225
00:08:00,296 --> 00:08:01,705
I saw my mitten
in the nest outside.
226
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:03,965
I just want you to get it back
from your pet.
227
00:08:04,059 --> 00:08:07,319
If you are requesting something
of monetary value from the city,
228
00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:10,304
you can fill out a request form
and, again,
229
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:11,881
bring it to the council meeting.
230
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:13,233
Now, if you'll excuse me,
231
00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:15,660
I have to concentrate
really hard when I write,
232
00:08:15,812 --> 00:08:17,570
or my writing is illegible.
233
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,406
Okay, well. Here's a basket
with grudge fudge.
234
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,892
-I cannot accept this bribe.
-It's not a bribe.
235
00:08:22,911 --> 00:08:25,170
-(shouts) Forget it. Forget it!
-I won't forget it.
236
00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:27,005
I'm writing down
a note here on my pad,
237
00:08:27,156 --> 00:08:30,050
and I'll speak to you about it
at the council meeting.
238
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,344
(screeches)
239
00:08:32,495 --> 00:08:35,013
Oh, no, oh, no. Help! My basket!
240
00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:37,407
All right, Toby. I give up.
241
00:08:37,425 --> 00:08:39,242
I can't kill you with kindness
and I can't kill you
242
00:08:39,335 --> 00:08:41,019
with anything else,
because you're endangered.
243
00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:43,580
So I'm gonna go home and watch
Quebec's Quiche Q--
244
00:08:43,673 --> 00:08:46,599
Quebec's Quiche Queens
until I calm down.
245
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,176
It's impossible to say
and impossible to turn off.
246
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,012
KIELY:
Can anyone answer
247
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,939
question one:
"What is this a picture of?"
248
00:08:53,091 --> 00:08:55,258
Oh, I can answer that one
for you, Coach Kiely.
249
00:08:55,277 --> 00:08:56,517
That's a mom who's dating again.
250
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,611
And that kid's feeling
extremely bad
251
00:08:58,764 --> 00:09:01,614
'cause his whole family sitch
is about to go kablammo.
252
00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:03,708
Yeah, it happened
to me and Moon, am I right?
253
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,118
-Mm.
-Moon's just being quiet
254
00:09:05,270 --> 00:09:06,436
because he's avoiding the truth
255
00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:08,438
about how devastatingly upset
he is.
256
00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:09,956
He's like Meryl Streep's
character in Doubt.
257
00:09:10,108 --> 00:09:11,608
Sister Aloysius?
258
00:09:11,626 --> 00:09:13,276
(chuckles):
Has no one here seen Doubt?
259
00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:14,886
Yes. I watch it
every year on my birthday.
260
00:09:14,996 --> 00:09:18,615
All I'm saying is, you got
to face the hard stuff head-on.
261
00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:22,043
Otherwise one day...
(imitates explosion)
262
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,953
you'll just explode.
263
00:09:23,972 --> 00:09:25,212
(whimpers)
I don't want to explode.
264
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,290
No, no, no, you're safe.
You're safe, Russell.
265
00:09:27,309 --> 00:09:30,217
Wolf, as the other adult here,
I was wondering
266
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,145
if you might help me
set up our next activity?
267
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,573
Oh, fo sho. Moon, don't worry.
268
00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:37,467
I'm just gonna be up there at
the board helping Coach Kiely.
269
00:09:37,485 --> 00:09:39,469
I am not abandoning you
like Mom did.
270
00:09:39,487 --> 00:09:43,064
Oh, good. But if you did want
to wait in the car till we're...
271
00:09:43,158 --> 00:09:45,417
I'm here, buddy. I'm here.
272
00:09:45,568 --> 00:09:47,143
HONEYBEE:
All right.
273
00:09:47,162 --> 00:09:49,403
It looks like the eagle
has landed. Somewhere else.
274
00:09:49,497 --> 00:09:52,165
-I'm just gonna go mail
my rewritten letters.
-Okay.
275
00:09:52,317 --> 00:09:54,426
I'll just enjoy my seat heater
while you're gone.
276
00:09:54,577 --> 00:09:56,911
I know there's not
a tiny campfire in here,
277
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,838
but I sure have fun
pretending there is.
278
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,506
Could I bother you
for a roll of stamps?
279
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,009
And if you have any fun ones,
like Beach Snoopy
280
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,919
or a hamburger with eyeballs,
281
00:10:05,013 --> 00:10:06,329
I could really use a pick-me-up.
282
00:10:06,422 --> 00:10:08,440
We only carry
bald eagle Forever Stamps.
283
00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:10,333
-Of course you do.
-I was able to overhear
284
00:10:10,426 --> 00:10:11,851
your little chat with Roy
the other day.
285
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,686
Because I was
actively eavesdropping.
286
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,948
You must be pretty mad
about Toby taking your stuff.
287
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,341
Oh, girl, no!
288
00:10:18,434 --> 00:10:20,343
I thought about it,
and, uh, I love it.
289
00:10:20,478 --> 00:10:21,953
Roy and Toby went home already.
290
00:10:22,105 --> 00:10:24,180
Well, then yeah! I'm furious!
291
00:10:24,199 --> 00:10:25,272
But what can I do?
292
00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:26,791
I know exactly what you can do.
293
00:10:26,943 --> 00:10:28,460
So, there's no rule
preventing an animal
294
00:10:28,653 --> 00:10:30,854
from holding a city council seat
here in Lone Moose.
295
00:10:30,872 --> 00:10:32,797
But there is
a minimum age required
296
00:10:32,949 --> 00:10:35,208
of anyone in Toby's position:
18.
297
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,877
But get this--
the average eagle's lifespan
298
00:10:38,029 --> 00:10:39,137
is only 18 years.
299
00:10:39,364 --> 00:10:41,547
And I suspect
Toby is an early adolescent,
300
00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:43,049
based on his talon size.
301
00:10:43,201 --> 00:10:44,384
And his constant masturbation.
302
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,386
Toby is in violation
of town code?
303
00:10:46,538 --> 00:10:47,628
Exactamundo.
304
00:10:47,797 --> 00:10:50,649
Bring this to Roy
and demand that Toby steps down.
305
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:51,966
I would've done it years ago,
306
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,559
but it's political suicide
307
00:10:53,712 --> 00:10:55,211
and I have dreams.
308
00:10:55,304 --> 00:10:56,729
To put it simply,
I would like to be
309
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,731
president of the United States.
310
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,550
You didn't get me
my mitten back, Roy.
311
00:11:00,568 --> 00:11:03,236
So now... (whispers):
I'm coming for your bird.
312
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,664
Ooh, I just gave myself chills.
313
00:11:05,891 --> 00:11:08,500
So, you'll write something
that actually contributed
314
00:11:08,651 --> 00:11:10,243
to your parents' split,
315
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,394
because it-- say it with me...
316
00:11:11,413 --> 00:11:13,672
-OTHERS: Wasn't my fault.
-Correct.
317
00:11:13,781 --> 00:11:15,581
For instance, in my divorce,
318
00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:18,492
it's not my fault that Samantha
and I had different ideas
319
00:11:18,586 --> 00:11:20,069
about saving money.
320
00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:22,514
So, I might write "money."
321
00:11:22,741 --> 00:11:25,517
Samantha also refused
to eat peas like a normal woman
322
00:11:25,744 --> 00:11:27,744
and instead would bring
the whole plate--
323
00:11:27,762 --> 00:11:29,503
the whole plate-- up to her lips
324
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,690
and roll them
into her open mouth.
325
00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:34,934
So, I also might write "peas."
326
00:11:35,086 --> 00:11:36,252
(inhales deeply, sighs)
327
00:11:36,271 --> 00:11:37,511
Debbie, why don't you start?
328
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:39,847
Okay. My dad quit his job
to record an album
329
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,090
called Simply Ken.
330
00:11:41,184 --> 00:11:42,108
And, now, here I am.
331
00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:43,868
Well, let's see. Uh...
332
00:11:44,095 --> 00:11:45,278
It was totally not my fault.
333
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,706
My mom-- also Moon's mom--
just met another guy.
334
00:11:47,933 --> 00:11:49,615
At the dance studio
in Death Cliff.
335
00:11:49,768 --> 00:11:51,859
He was actually my instructor,
Marcus.
336
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:52,936
And I introduced them.
337
00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:54,787
On the evening
of my first recital.
338
00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:56,697
I remember standing backstage.
339
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,867
But I didn't even get
to perform, because I saw...
340
00:11:59,961 --> 00:12:00,868
Mom?
341
00:12:00,962 --> 00:12:02,536
And Marcus?
342
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:05,873
Kissing?!
(wailing)
343
00:12:05,967 --> 00:12:07,467
Paul Simon's Pee-Pee!
344
00:12:07,619 --> 00:12:09,060
It was my fault!
345
00:12:12,048 --> 00:12:13,565
(crying, chewing)
346
00:12:14,309 --> 00:12:15,959
It was all my fault.
347
00:12:16,052 --> 00:12:17,235
This club is a lie.
348
00:12:17,386 --> 00:12:19,479
And this banana split
is a lie banana split.
349
00:12:19,631 --> 00:12:22,389
Wolf, I can see that you're in,
uh, a lot of pain.
350
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,650
But you're scaring everyone.
351
00:12:24,803 --> 00:12:26,227
Russell's day terrors are back.
352
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,728
-(Russell shrieks)
-I'm sorry,
353
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,247
but I have to ask you to leave.
354
00:12:29,398 --> 00:12:31,491
But what about Moon?
He really needs me in there.
355
00:12:31,643 --> 00:12:33,084
I don't think
you can help your brother
356
00:12:33,311 --> 00:12:34,494
till you help yourself, Wolf.
357
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,087
Okay. I understand.
358
00:12:36,239 --> 00:12:39,424
May I make myself a
replacement banana split to go?
359
00:12:39,651 --> 00:12:41,408
Okay, I'm going.
360
00:12:41,503 --> 00:12:44,912
♪ I can feel something
inside me say ♪
361
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:49,158
♪ I really don't think
Wolf's strong enough, oh! ♪
362
00:12:49,177 --> 00:12:52,328
BEEF:
Uh, no, Ham,
it doesn't come like that.
363
00:12:52,347 --> 00:12:55,832
I make the bacon into
a little smile on the pancake.
364
00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:58,184
What about the French toast
with the strawberry lips?
365
00:12:58,336 --> 00:13:00,761
Are you asking me
if the toast has lips, son?
366
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,389
-Morning, Honeybee.
Where's Wolf?
-He's in the guesthouse.
367
00:13:03,541 --> 00:13:05,116
He's upset,
but I don't know what's wrong.
368
00:13:05,343 --> 00:13:07,401
He said it had something to do
with cleaning out the van.
369
00:13:07,512 --> 00:13:09,679
I bet he found an old
English muffin and ate it again
370
00:13:09,697 --> 00:13:12,031
and doesn't want to tell me
he has diarrhea.
371
00:13:12,183 --> 00:13:13,182
I'll go check on him.
372
00:13:13,201 --> 00:13:14,459
All right,
I'm off to confront Roy.
373
00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:17,020
We'd better come with you.
You know, as backup.
374
00:13:17,038 --> 00:13:19,280
Also, maybe I want Mr. Wind
375
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:22,425
to run his fingers
through my hair again.
376
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:25,378
-Wolf?
-Oh, hey, Moon.
377
00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:28,214
You can tell Coach Kiely
that I can buy my own ice cream,
378
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,033
'cause I'm a big boy with money.
379
00:13:30,051 --> 00:13:31,551
I probably won't tell her that.
380
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:34,813
-Hey, do you maybe want
to go do something?
-Why?
381
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,964
I'll just end up ruining
something perfect.
382
00:13:37,058 --> 00:13:38,483
Like I ruined
Mom and Dad's marriage
383
00:13:38,634 --> 00:13:39,876
and your divorce club
384
00:13:39,894 --> 00:13:40,968
and these pajamas.
385
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,636
Okay. But the thing is,
386
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:45,565
in health class, they told us we
need to start wearing deodorant,
387
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:48,901
so I need to go to
the drug store in Death Cliff.
388
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,144
Oh, Drug Cliff?
389
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,571
They have
a sick ibuprofen selection.
390
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:55,058
Yeah. Dad's busy, so I
was hoping you could take me.
391
00:13:55,151 --> 00:13:56,242
Okay, fine.
392
00:13:56,394 --> 00:13:58,061
But I'm not changing out
of these pajamas.
393
00:13:58,079 --> 00:13:59,412
Not for anyone. Ever.
394
00:13:59,564 --> 00:14:01,747
Except maybe for Barack Obama,
if he were to ask.
395
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:02,748
Or Michelle.
396
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,509
Or Malia. Or Sasha.
397
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:07,070
If I'm not back in 15 minutes,
398
00:14:07,088 --> 00:14:09,922
honk the horn three times and
drive through his front door.
399
00:14:10,075 --> 00:14:11,516
Or we could come with you.
400
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:14,185
Thanks, Beef, but this is
between the bird and the bee.
401
00:14:14,337 --> 00:14:15,669
And the Roy.
402
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,689
Oh, you guys want to play
Action Movie while we wait?
403
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,766
Way ahead of you!
(grunting)
404
00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:23,269
ROY:
Ooh, I hear someone outside.
405
00:14:23,421 --> 00:14:25,012
Must be your birthday present
getting delivered,
406
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,090
my handsome Tobe-lerone.
407
00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:28,107
Oh, it's you.
408
00:14:28,259 --> 00:14:30,259
You've been a bad boy, Roy.
409
00:14:30,278 --> 00:14:31,594
Don't mind the filing cabinets.
410
00:14:31,613 --> 00:14:34,021
I feel it's important
to keep paper copies
411
00:14:34,115 --> 00:14:35,522
of all the town budgets
because...
412
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,208
(whispers):
what if they hack the server?
413
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:38,618
What if who hacks the server?
414
00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:41,212
Well, there are
a lot of threats out there.
415
00:14:41,439 --> 00:14:42,788
Like, I don't know what it is,
416
00:14:42,941 --> 00:14:45,199
but I keep hearing
about Mario Kart?
417
00:14:45,293 --> 00:14:47,293
Well, I just came
to show you this.
418
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,946
Toby's too young
to hold office. Legally.
419
00:14:50,039 --> 00:14:52,115
Either he steps down
or I go public.
420
00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:53,950
Oh, no. What have I done?
421
00:14:54,043 --> 00:14:56,469
I'm so sorry
to the people of Lone Moose.
422
00:14:56,621 --> 00:14:57,562
Uh, they trusted us.
423
00:14:57,789 --> 00:14:59,455
And I'm sorry to you.
424
00:14:59,548 --> 00:15:01,290
I never wanted
to violate town code.
425
00:15:01,309 --> 00:15:03,234
-So you knew?
-Of course I knew.
426
00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:05,904
I have that book memorized.
I-I love town code.
427
00:15:06,055 --> 00:15:07,388
More than anything in the world.
428
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,740
Well, except Toby.
429
00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:11,484
If you love it so much,
why'd you break the code, Roy?
430
00:15:11,636 --> 00:15:13,986
(sighs) I've always wanted
to work on the council.
431
00:15:14,139 --> 00:15:15,638
Ever since I was a little boy.
432
00:15:15,731 --> 00:15:16,989
But people wouldn't elect me.
433
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,158
They found me dry or boring.
434
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,901
After a couple failed campaigns,
435
00:15:20,995 --> 00:15:23,421
I gave up my dreams
and moved out here.
436
00:15:23,648 --> 00:15:25,256
And that's when
I was first attacked by Toby.
437
00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:27,667
But then, much later,
he befriended me.
438
00:15:27,819 --> 00:15:30,094
Because I left out
a ton of meat for him.
439
00:15:30,246 --> 00:15:32,079
Then I read about a guinea pig
who was
440
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,506
Alaska's lieutenant governor
441
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,748
-in the 1950s...
-Wait,
442
00:15:34,884 --> 00:15:37,101
a guinea pig
was lieutenant governor?
443
00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:38,269
Eh, for a brief time.
444
00:15:38,496 --> 00:15:40,012
He died in office.
He overheated.
445
00:15:40,165 --> 00:15:42,014
You're really not supposed
to put them in little suits.
446
00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:43,516
But inspiration struck.
447
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,610
I put Toby on the ticket with me
and, voilà,
448
00:15:45,837 --> 00:15:49,280
I wasn't just the boring guy
with the plan for sewage reform.
449
00:15:49,432 --> 00:15:52,175
I was the boring guy
with the plan for sewage reform
450
00:15:52,193 --> 00:15:53,451
and the eagle. We won!
451
00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:56,345
All I ever wanted to do
was help this town.
452
00:15:56,439 --> 00:15:58,181
And be best friends
with an eagle.
453
00:15:58,274 --> 00:15:59,457
And I was living the dream.
454
00:15:59,608 --> 00:16:01,960
But I guess
we flew too close to the sun.
455
00:16:02,111 --> 00:16:03,686
I mean, he did. I-I can't fly.
456
00:16:03,705 --> 00:16:06,189
Toby and I will resign
at the council meeting.
457
00:16:06,282 --> 00:16:08,466
-(screech)
-We won't work together anymore,
458
00:16:08,693 --> 00:16:10,209
but he'll still be my guy.
459
00:16:10,361 --> 00:16:12,878
HONEYBEE: You really do
love that bird, huh?
460
00:16:13,031 --> 00:16:14,305
He's my best friend.
461
00:16:14,532 --> 00:16:16,140
My only friend.
462
00:16:16,292 --> 00:16:17,475
But rules are rules.
463
00:16:17,626 --> 00:16:19,644
At least I lived my dream
for a little while.
464
00:16:19,795 --> 00:16:21,145
You got me fair and square.
465
00:16:21,297 --> 00:16:22,872
(quietly):
Oh, my God. I'm a dream killer.
466
00:16:22,890 --> 00:16:24,631
I'm taking away
this man's kite camp.
467
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:25,650
Hold on.
468
00:16:25,801 --> 00:16:27,560
Roy, if there's one thing
I don't do,
469
00:16:27,712 --> 00:16:29,045
it's steal people's dreams.
470
00:16:29,063 --> 00:16:30,304
If I can help you fix
this problem,
471
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,323
can you get my mitten back
from Toby's nest?
472
00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:33,307
He might bite me.
473
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,401
Like, a lot. But I can try.
474
00:16:35,553 --> 00:16:36,995
Let me look
at that town code real quick.
475
00:16:37,222 --> 00:16:38,812
-(horn honking)
-Oh, no! Oh, no!
476
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,147
Don't drive into the house,
guys!
477
00:16:40,241 --> 00:16:41,574
We're kind of friends now!
478
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,726
WOLF: All right,
time to get you some deodorant.
479
00:16:43,819 --> 00:16:45,745
And I might treat myself to
a tiny little bottle of shampoo.
480
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:49,565
I love to imagine I'm a giant
who's washing his hair.
481
00:16:49,584 --> 00:16:52,235
Wolf,
I don't actually need deodorant.
482
00:16:52,328 --> 00:16:55,179
I brought you here
to deal with your past.
483
00:16:55,331 --> 00:16:56,347
WOLF:
Oh, no! I forgot
484
00:16:56,499 --> 00:16:58,499
the ding dang dance studio
was here!
485
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,059
Mambo number crap!
486
00:17:04,265 --> 00:17:05,765
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
No way. No, no, no, no.
487
00:17:05,917 --> 00:17:08,008
Wolf, this is what the Saturday
Splits is all about.
488
00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:10,194
The only way to deal
with your empty heart bowl
489
00:17:10,346 --> 00:17:12,772
is to fill it up
with the creamy truth.
490
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,423
(sighs)
You're right, Moon.
491
00:17:14,517 --> 00:17:15,849
Let's get to scoopin'.
492
00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:18,444
-(bell tinkles)
-Hello. Sorry to
bother you, ma'am.
493
00:17:18,596 --> 00:17:20,371
Mary. Are you here
for Dubstep Delight?
494
00:17:20,598 --> 00:17:22,765
Because Lace broke both
his knees, so it's canceled.
495
00:17:22,784 --> 00:17:25,043
Actually, we're just hoping
to sort some events
496
00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:26,602
that took place here
a few years ago.
497
00:17:26,621 --> 00:17:28,120
-My brother, Wolf Tobin...
-Tobin?
498
00:17:28,273 --> 00:17:29,972
Oh, I know exactly who you are.
499
00:17:29,974 --> 00:17:30,956
You're Kathleen's kid.
500
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,942
My husband Marcus left me
for your mom.
501
00:17:33,035 --> 00:17:34,201
Oh, my God.
502
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,294
So that makes you...
503
00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:36,220
my mother?!
504
00:17:36,447 --> 00:17:37,538
Oh, no, sorry.
505
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,465
It just means
I ruined your marriage, too.
506
00:17:39,617 --> 00:17:42,118
And when he left, he saddled me
with this dance studio.
507
00:17:42,136 --> 00:17:43,469
And I can't even dance.
508
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,878
Look.
(grunting)
509
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:47,473
This is genuinely the best
I can dance.
510
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,566
I'm so sorry.
511
00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:50,234
My selfish desire to learn tap
512
00:17:50,386 --> 00:17:52,052
ruined so many lives.
513
00:17:52,146 --> 00:17:54,363
I'm gonna go stand by the car.
514
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,076
Wolf. Wolf! Look at this.
515
00:17:58,227 --> 00:17:59,393
Oh. "Boomfunk!"
516
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,636
(chuckles)
That's fun to say.
517
00:18:00,729 --> 00:18:02,321
No, Wolf, look at the picture.
518
00:18:02,473 --> 00:18:04,916
Oh, my Dancing with the Stars.
That's...
519
00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:06,567
-MOON: Mom.
-And, wait,
520
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,312
this picture is from way before
I ever took that tap class here.
521
00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:10,571
So if Mom was here then,
522
00:18:10,706 --> 00:18:12,573
I guess I didn't introduce her
to Marcus.
523
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,576
Yeah, they were running around
for years, and everyone knew it.
524
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,244
Except me, ole Mary.
525
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,155
This is amazing news!
526
00:18:19,173 --> 00:18:20,414
And also very upsetting.
527
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,824
I'm very sorry
about your marriage, Mary.
528
00:18:21,917 --> 00:18:23,676
But this means
it wasn't my fault!
529
00:18:23,828 --> 00:18:26,345
It wouldn't have been
your fault either way, Wolf.
530
00:18:26,497 --> 00:18:28,998
Even if you had introduced
Mom and Marcus,
531
00:18:29,016 --> 00:18:31,350
this was 100% their fault.
532
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,852
And, honestly, I'm kind of glad
533
00:18:33,004 --> 00:18:34,503
I don't have to deal
with Marcus anymore.
534
00:18:34,597 --> 00:18:37,115
His fedora collection
took up the entire bathroom.
535
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:38,674
We got in so many fights
536
00:18:38,693 --> 00:18:41,268
because I would
accidentally poop in his hats.
537
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,362
Moon, thank you
for bringing me here.
538
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,456
Gosh, I'm so friggin' impressed
by you.
539
00:18:45,608 --> 00:18:48,609
You're mature and thoughtful
and smart and stuff.
540
00:18:48,703 --> 00:18:50,444
I mean, it's insane
you turned out that way,
541
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,946
given what a frang dang mess
our family is.
542
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:56,025
Wolf, I wasn't lying when I said
I only go to Saturday Splits
543
00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:57,193
for the ice cream.
544
00:18:57,286 --> 00:18:58,619
My childhood has been wonderful.
545
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,788
I've always felt like I have
two pretty great parents,
546
00:19:01,883 --> 00:19:03,457
Dad and... you.
547
00:19:03,551 --> 00:19:05,309
I mean, you taught me
how to cartwheel.
548
00:19:05,461 --> 00:19:07,812
-Brag.
-How to double-dip a French fry
549
00:19:07,963 --> 00:19:09,538
without contaminating
the ketchup.
550
00:19:09,557 --> 00:19:11,540
And, just today,
you dropped everything
551
00:19:11,559 --> 00:19:13,726
to drive me out here
to buy deodorant.
552
00:19:13,878 --> 00:19:14,560
I love you, Moon.
553
00:19:14,712 --> 00:19:16,045
Love you, too, Wolf.
554
00:19:16,063 --> 00:19:17,638
Whew. (chuckles)
You know what?
555
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,899
It might actually be time
to get that deodorant.
556
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,050
That's probably me.
557
00:19:21,143 --> 00:19:22,660
It has been a morning.
558
00:19:22,811 --> 00:19:24,387
Moon, if it's okay with you,
559
00:19:24,447 --> 00:19:26,980
I think there's one more thing
I need to take care of
560
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,532
before we leave.
561
00:19:28,685 --> 00:19:30,501
Okay! You guys ready?
562
00:19:30,653 --> 00:19:31,985
Mary, count us in!
563
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,746
One, two, three, four.
564
00:19:33,898 --> 00:19:36,490
♪ What am I supposed to do? ♪
565
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,585
♪ Just sit around
and wait for you? ♪
566
00:19:39,737 --> 00:19:41,679
♪ Well, I can't do that ♪
567
00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:45,349
♪ There's just no turning back ♪
568
00:19:46,168 --> 00:19:49,412
♪ Do you believe
in life after love? ♪
569
00:19:49,505 --> 00:19:52,081
♪ After love, after love,
after love... ♪
570
00:19:52,174 --> 00:19:54,099
I will now begin roll call.
571
00:19:54,252 --> 00:19:56,009
Roy Fletcher. Present.
572
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,011
Toby Eagle. Present.
573
00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,846
Gwen Jorgenson. Present.
574
00:19:59,941 --> 00:20:04,276
Now the council will open itself
up to constituent questions.
575
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:07,112
(sighs) Well, if there are
no constituents present...
576
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:12,043
Hello! We're here to talk
about town code section 14.c58.
577
00:20:12,194 --> 00:20:14,103
"Human and other types
of children
578
00:20:14,121 --> 00:20:15,938
aren't allowed to hold office"?
579
00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:17,273
That seems wrong.
580
00:20:17,291 --> 00:20:19,199
Kids are capable
of great things.
581
00:20:19,293 --> 00:20:20,867
What about Greta Thunberg?
582
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:21,902
And Malala?
583
00:20:21,904 --> 00:20:22,887
And what about Cupid?
584
00:20:23,038 --> 00:20:24,447
You like falling in love, right?
585
00:20:24,465 --> 00:20:27,058
Anybody who has a dream
should at least get a chance
586
00:20:27,209 --> 00:20:28,375
to live that dream.
587
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:30,453
Including children
and children eagles.
588
00:20:30,546 --> 00:20:32,230
And, therefore, I hereby propose
589
00:20:32,381 --> 00:20:34,732
the following changes
to the town code.
590
00:20:35,643 --> 00:20:36,901
MOON:
I will say,
591
00:20:37,052 --> 00:20:39,295
Coach Kiely has nothing
on your toppings game.
592
00:20:39,313 --> 00:20:41,146
Well, she's not
the only life advice-based
593
00:20:41,299 --> 00:20:43,056
ice cream club in town.
594
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,483
Now, we have a lot
to get through.
595
00:20:44,635 --> 00:20:47,060
First, pretty soon, you're
gonna have to start shaving.
596
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,305
And the answer is, yes,
buy a lady razor.
597
00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:51,082
They come with lotion strips.
598
00:20:51,309 --> 00:20:52,899
Why deprive yourself of that?
599
00:20:52,994 --> 00:20:54,326
Also, here's something else--
600
00:20:54,479 --> 00:20:57,480
you don't have to measure
every foot-long sub you buy.
601
00:20:57,498 --> 00:20:59,423
Sometimes,
you just have to trust.
602
00:20:59,650 --> 00:21:02,909
♪ Every nook and cranny holds
some treasure of its own ♪
603
00:21:03,004 --> 00:21:04,837
♪ When I whip open
my trash bag ♪
604
00:21:04,989 --> 00:21:07,414
♪ They call me
Indi-van-a Jones ♪
605
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:10,826
♪ Don't bother me,
I'm in the van cleaning zone ♪
606
00:21:10,845 --> 00:21:14,772
♪ Don't bother Wolf,
he's in the van cleaning zone ♪
607
00:21:14,923 --> 00:21:17,333
♪ On an exploratory mission,
like Jacques Cousteau ♪
608
00:21:17,426 --> 00:21:19,110
♪ Or whoever dug up Rome ♪
609
00:21:19,261 --> 00:21:21,612
♪ A baby tooth, a peanut,
an amethyst earring ♪
610
00:21:21,764 --> 00:21:24,523
-♪ That's
my friggin' birthstone ♪
-♪ Shh ♪
611
00:21:24,675 --> 00:21:27,100
♪ Don't bother me,
I'm in the van cleaning zone ♪
612
00:21:27,194 --> 00:21:29,345
-♪ Shh, don't bother Wolf,
he's in ♪
-♪ Don't bother me, I'm in ♪
613
00:21:29,438 --> 00:21:31,347
♪ The van cleaning zone! ♪
614
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,457
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
615
00:21:33,684 --> 00:21:34,750
and TOYOTA.