1 00:00:01,393 --> 00:00:04,670 -♪ Look up there ♪ -♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,821 --> 00:00:06,005 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:06,156 --> 00:00:07,397 -♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,416 --> 00:00:10,400 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,419 --> 00:00:13,995 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,088 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:16,757 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:16,909 --> 00:00:17,999 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:21,578 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:21,597 --> 00:00:23,004 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:24,414 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:25,932 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:26,085 --> 00:00:30,029 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,532 (cheering) 15 00:00:34,426 --> 00:00:35,942 HONEYBEE: So no one in this family 16 00:00:36,095 --> 00:00:37,352 has ever bought shorts before? 17 00:00:37,446 --> 00:00:39,038 Absolutely not. If you want shorts, 18 00:00:39,265 --> 00:00:41,064 buy pants, wear 'em till the knees give out, 19 00:00:41,116 --> 00:00:42,599 and cut 'em off like a normal person. 20 00:00:42,692 --> 00:00:45,102 Honestly, the entire shorts industry should be shut down. 21 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,545 -Bunch of crooks. -(phone rings) 22 00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:49,273 You've reached the cellular device of Beef, 23 00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:50,957 owner of device speaking. 24 00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:51,958 Mm-hmm. 25 00:00:52,111 --> 00:00:53,777 Got it. Be right there. 26 00:00:53,870 --> 00:00:55,870 Now, don't freak out, but that was the hospital. 27 00:00:55,964 --> 00:00:58,282 Delmer bonked his head eating soup too fast. 28 00:00:58,300 --> 00:00:59,558 He just slipped right out of his chair. 29 00:00:59,785 --> 00:01:01,060 -Oh, no. -Papa D. 30 00:01:01,211 --> 00:01:02,135 Chairs are tricky. 31 00:01:02,288 --> 00:01:04,712 I want that soup brought to justice. 32 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,714 They're releasing him, but he can't drive himself. 33 00:01:06,809 --> 00:01:08,216 I'm gonna go pick him up. 34 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,811 Aw, it's so nice/weird that your dad is best friends 35 00:01:10,963 --> 00:01:12,220 with a sweet 80-year-old man. 36 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:14,222 Their personalities are the same age. 37 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,891 Oh, yeah, Dad and Delmer have always been super close. 38 00:01:16,985 --> 00:01:19,136 Delmer's kids were grown and moved away, 39 00:01:19,154 --> 00:01:22,806 and Dad's parents were fun but absolutely bonkers. 40 00:01:22,899 --> 00:01:24,732 And not always around. 41 00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:26,085 So whenever he needed help... 42 00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:27,661 -Or advice. -Or someone to help him 43 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,737 with his homework who knew the entire alphabet. 44 00:01:29,832 --> 00:01:31,239 Grandpa was pretty good up to "Q," 45 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:32,833 but after that he'd just circle back to "A." 46 00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,651 Dad would just go over to Uncle Delmer's. 47 00:01:34,744 --> 00:01:35,594 He was his rock. 48 00:01:35,745 --> 00:01:36,762 Everyone needs a rock. 49 00:01:36,913 --> 00:01:38,322 Personally, my rock is The Rock. 50 00:01:38,382 --> 00:01:39,914 Have you guys seen Skyscraper? 51 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:42,750 He humiliates that dumbass building. 52 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:43,936 BEEF: Ding-dong. 53 00:01:44,163 --> 00:01:45,846 Delmer's here. And he might have a concussion. 54 00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,848 You can't have this angel yet. 55 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,942 -You hear me? -Who are these people? 56 00:01:50,093 --> 00:01:51,835 Those hippies from the news? 57 00:01:51,854 --> 00:01:54,504 (gasps) He's got jimjam amnesia! 58 00:01:54,523 --> 00:01:56,857 Ha-ha! Gotcha! My brain works fine. 59 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,100 -Oh! (laughs) -Good one, D. -I was got. 60 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,861 But if I ever lose my wits like that, 61 00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:03,122 flip me into the wood chipper, will you? 62 00:02:03,349 --> 00:02:04,456 You have my word. 63 00:02:04,608 --> 00:02:06,183 The doctor recommended we keep him up 64 00:02:06,276 --> 00:02:08,276 for the next four hours in case he has a concussion. 65 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,963 Four hours? Oh, that's way past my bedtime. 66 00:02:11,156 --> 00:02:14,191 I'm usually tucked in by 9:00 p.m. 67 00:02:14,284 --> 00:02:17,210 Now, who has a good idea of how to keep Delmer awake 68 00:02:17,363 --> 00:02:20,806 -for 240 minutes? -I could just bust out my pan flute and... 69 00:02:21,033 --> 00:02:21,865 OTHERS: No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! 70 00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:23,142 -Okay. -I know. 71 00:02:23,427 --> 00:02:25,293 We could tell some Delmer stories to keep Delmer awake. 72 00:02:25,387 --> 00:02:28,038 You know, like the ones Dad used to tell us at bedtime. 73 00:02:28,131 --> 00:02:30,040 Beef used to tell you stories about me? 74 00:02:30,058 --> 00:02:31,984 Oh, yeah. Dad would tell us bedtime stories 75 00:02:32,135 --> 00:02:33,710 about the adventures you two had together. 76 00:02:33,729 --> 00:02:34,728 They were very exciting. 77 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:35,988 Sometimes Dad would even have 78 00:02:36,215 --> 00:02:37,639 to swaddle me after to calm me down. 79 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,232 Personally, my favorite was always the one 80 00:02:39,385 --> 00:02:42,310 about the thing that fell from the sky. 81 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:45,055 Sure was. Ham and Moon's, too. 82 00:02:45,148 --> 00:02:48,392 It's got everything kids love: aliens, pee, buffets... 83 00:02:48,485 --> 00:02:50,669 Yep. It all started 30-some years ago. 84 00:02:50,896 --> 00:02:52,746 When a young Dad and Uncle Brian 85 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,081 were outside of this very house. 86 00:02:55,234 --> 00:02:58,010 Being kissed by the cool night air. 87 00:02:59,162 --> 00:03:01,180 -Beef! A shooting star! -Hmm. 88 00:03:01,407 --> 00:03:03,240 Wait a second. Our Farmers' Almanac 89 00:03:03,258 --> 00:03:06,351 didn't predict any meteor showers tonight. 90 00:03:06,578 --> 00:03:09,262 But I guess nature can surprise you. 91 00:03:10,599 --> 00:03:12,557 MOON: The next morning, Delmer was at Maude's. 92 00:03:12,710 --> 00:03:15,027 Everyone was bebop'ing to the jukebox, 93 00:03:15,178 --> 00:03:17,345 the waitresses were all on roller skates, 94 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,013 and poodle skirts were poodlin'. 95 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,273 BEEF: How old 96 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,759 -do you think I am? -I'm describing the '80s. 97 00:03:22,852 --> 00:03:23,944 That's the '50s. 98 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:26,112 You know what? Never mind. Just keep going. 99 00:03:26,265 --> 00:03:28,598 HAM: Delmer was waiting patiently to order his usual breakfast-- 100 00:03:28,692 --> 00:03:31,601 black coffee and a hard-boiled egg he brought from home-- 101 00:03:31,695 --> 00:03:33,069 when, to his surprise... 102 00:03:33,121 --> 00:03:35,881 How surprising. You're not my regular waitress. 103 00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:38,275 Yeah, hon. Moira's mysteriously gone missing. 104 00:03:38,293 --> 00:03:40,293 My husband is also missing. 105 00:03:40,446 --> 00:03:43,538 I emptied his bank account. He would have wanted it that way. 106 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,373 HAM: Meanwhile, unable to find their parents 107 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,892 when they woke that morning, 108 00:03:47,043 --> 00:03:48,802 Dad and Uncle Brian set off to find Delmer. 109 00:03:48,954 --> 00:03:50,896 Delmer, we can't find Mom and Dad. 110 00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:52,380 We've checked all their usual places-- 111 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,291 the dumpster behind the pretzel factory, jail-- 112 00:03:54,384 --> 00:03:56,626 -but nothing. -So, what can I get you? 113 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:57,885 The check, please. 114 00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,480 Time to go fishing... for the truth. 115 00:04:00,632 --> 00:04:02,482 I thought he was gonna say for fish. 116 00:04:02,634 --> 00:04:04,409 I don't suppose you think Mom and Dad's disappearance 117 00:04:04,561 --> 00:04:07,304 has anything to do with that incredibly mysterious meteor 118 00:04:07,397 --> 00:04:10,415 we saw last night that crashed into the woods? 119 00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:11,658 I do suppose. 120 00:04:11,810 --> 00:04:13,143 Come on, boys, kita. 121 00:04:13,161 --> 00:04:14,736 HAM: So the three of them headed 122 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,588 to the secret government headquarters 123 00:04:16,740 --> 00:04:17,981 in Delmer's dinosaur race car. 124 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,073 Dad added that part during 125 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,333 Moon's heavy dinosaur phase. 126 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,835 MOON: Which is ongoing. 127 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,054 HAM: And they raced off to the building. 128 00:04:25,248 --> 00:04:26,098 (snores) 129 00:04:26,249 --> 00:04:28,492 Wakey-wakey, don't die today-key. 130 00:04:28,585 --> 00:04:30,160 Yep, I'm here. 131 00:04:30,178 --> 00:04:31,586 JUDY: Once inside, they headed to the one place 132 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,179 all government secrets are kept... 133 00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:34,940 HAM: The administrative office. 134 00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:36,500 DELMER: Hello. I'd like the form 135 00:04:36,518 --> 00:04:39,093 that's used to figure out where all the adults in town 136 00:04:39,187 --> 00:04:40,928 -have gone, please. -Mm-kay. 137 00:04:41,023 --> 00:04:43,448 JUDY: But just then, the administrator got an itchy nose. 138 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,267 But not on her human nose-- on her nonhuman nose. 139 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,787 So she took her head off, revealing... 140 00:04:48,938 --> 00:04:50,030 MOON: ♪ Dun, dun, dun! ♪ 141 00:04:50,182 --> 00:04:52,940 -That she was an alien! -(gasping) 142 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,793 Ah, crud. Did I just take my head off 143 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,277 and reveal that I'm an alien? 144 00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,705 Hold on. I can't see through this thing. 145 00:04:58,857 --> 00:05:00,357 Yep, you took it off. 146 00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:02,526 So, listen, we're going to put our human heads back on, 147 00:05:02,544 --> 00:05:05,470 and then we can all just pretend that none of this ever happened. 148 00:05:05,697 --> 00:05:08,715 Okay? Everyone agree? Let's pinkie promise. 149 00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:09,716 (Beef screaming) 150 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,417 Let go of my brother! 151 00:05:11,570 --> 00:05:13,145 (screams) 152 00:05:14,297 --> 00:05:15,889 JUDY: And now that they officially knew 153 00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:17,149 that aliens had taken over the town, 154 00:05:17,376 --> 00:05:19,209 they officially had to check out that meteor. 155 00:05:19,227 --> 00:05:21,044 So Dad led Delmer and Uncle Brian 156 00:05:21,063 --> 00:05:23,880 to the spot where he saw the glowing object land. 157 00:05:23,899 --> 00:05:26,307 HAM: And that's when they found the town's adults being force-fed 158 00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:28,976 -from a massive buffet. -JUDY: Because the aliens 159 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:32,980 had a plan that was truly heinous from Uranus. 160 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,335 Bork. Bork-bork-bork. Bork. Bork-bork-bork. 161 00:05:36,486 --> 00:05:37,243 Bork-bork-bork. 162 00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,245 Bork-bork-bork. Bork-bork-bork. 163 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,506 Bork-bork. Bork-bork. Bork. 164 00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:43,917 Bork... 165 00:05:44,069 --> 00:05:45,844 Oh, poop bomb. That's scary. 166 00:05:45,995 --> 00:05:47,179 I hope it doesn't go off. 167 00:05:47,330 --> 00:05:49,348 Yeah, it used to be just a regular bomb, 168 00:05:49,575 --> 00:05:52,742 but Dad added the poop because poop really makes Judy laugh. 169 00:05:52,836 --> 00:05:54,186 (laughs): It totally does. 170 00:05:54,337 --> 00:05:57,505 Wait, Delmer, what's the Yupik word for "poop" again? 171 00:05:57,599 --> 00:05:59,933 -Anaq. -(laughing) 172 00:06:00,085 --> 00:06:02,527 See? It's funny in any language. 173 00:06:02,679 --> 00:06:04,437 Oh, man. (chuckles) 174 00:06:04,590 --> 00:06:06,106 Judy, may I go on? 175 00:06:06,258 --> 00:06:08,724 Luckily, Delmer, the smartest person we know, 176 00:06:08,726 --> 00:06:10,035 happened to be fluent in Bork, 177 00:06:10,186 --> 00:06:13,038 so he was able to decipher what they were saying. 178 00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:14,706 DELMER: Oh, no! Countdown clock! 179 00:06:14,858 --> 00:06:17,859 All the numbers are in Bork, but trust me, it's counting down. 180 00:06:17,953 --> 00:06:20,670 We've got Bork minutes to go. 181 00:06:23,775 --> 00:06:25,959 Hey, buddy. 182 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,627 Just three hours to go till you can sleep. 183 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,779 That's right, but the residents of Lone Moose 184 00:06:29,798 --> 00:06:32,449 -didn't even have three hours. -Because the aliens were planning 185 00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:34,208 to bomb the poop out of Lone Moose, Delmer, 186 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,711 Dad and Uncle Brian ran back to Delmer's house to regroup. 187 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,714 MOON: That's when Delmer decided to take a think-and-pee, 188 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,292 because he does all his best thinking while peeing. 189 00:06:42,385 --> 00:06:44,477 HAM: But then a cold breeze blew in from the window 190 00:06:44,630 --> 00:06:46,721 and gave him the wiener shivers, causing him to jump. 191 00:06:46,815 --> 00:06:48,648 And the alien tentacle he had pocketed earlier fell out! 192 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:52,302 Pee hit the tentacle, and it shriveled up and disappeared! 193 00:06:52,395 --> 00:06:54,471 MOON: And that's when Delmer realized 194 00:06:54,564 --> 00:06:56,748 that the aliens might have loved poop, 195 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:58,917 but pee would kill them instantly! 196 00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:00,419 JUDY: It was time to show those aliens 197 00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:03,905 why pee has always been number one. 198 00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:06,407 HAM: Thus began Operation Golden Powers. 199 00:07:06,501 --> 00:07:08,409 MOON: They drank all the liquids in the fridge 200 00:07:08,503 --> 00:07:10,153 and filled the balloons with pee. 201 00:07:10,172 --> 00:07:12,505 JUDY: The aliens thought they had it all wrapped up 202 00:07:12,658 --> 00:07:13,840 as they celebrated. 203 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,342 -But... -Pee-pee-ki-yay, mother-Borkers! 204 00:07:16,495 --> 00:07:18,511 Say hello to my yellow friend! 205 00:07:18,664 --> 00:07:20,272 Pee you in hell! 206 00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:23,333 HAM: They were really a bunch of catchphrase kings. 207 00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:24,693 (screams) 208 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,505 (groans) 209 00:07:28,523 --> 00:07:31,658 JUDY: And then Delmer figured out how to disarm the bomb. 210 00:07:31,843 --> 00:07:35,679 Well, obviously it's the brown one. For poop. 211 00:07:35,697 --> 00:07:37,013 (laughs) 212 00:07:37,106 --> 00:07:38,957 Poop. Oh, God. 213 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,370 -Oh, yeah! -Whoo-hoo! 214 00:07:44,523 --> 00:07:46,631 HAM: Then he freed all the adults, who all still 215 00:07:46,783 --> 00:07:48,115 really had to poop. 216 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,876 So they started pooping absolutely everywhere-- 217 00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:53,546 but with freedom and a deep sense of gratitude to Delmer. 218 00:07:53,699 --> 00:07:55,623 MOON: And Dad and Uncle Brian found their parents 219 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,311 and took them home to poop in peace. 220 00:07:59,462 --> 00:08:00,312 The end. 221 00:08:00,463 --> 00:08:01,295 Or was it? 222 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,707 -It was. -Fun story, kids. 223 00:08:03,725 --> 00:08:05,709 I enjoyed the poop out of it. 224 00:08:05,727 --> 00:08:07,877 -(yawns) -Uh-oh. 225 00:08:07,971 --> 00:08:09,879 (singsongy): Someone's looking sleepy. 226 00:08:09,973 --> 00:08:11,639 But don't worry, D, I'm gonna tell you 227 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,049 my favorite Delmer story, 228 00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:14,993 and it's gonna knock your friggin' socks off! 229 00:08:15,144 --> 00:08:18,571 Okay, but fair warning, several of my toes are dead. 230 00:08:18,724 --> 00:08:20,314 The story's about the time that Dad worked 231 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,483 at that summer camp you owned, Camp Heck Yeah! 232 00:08:22,577 --> 00:08:24,744 Oh, Heck Yeah! Those were good times. 233 00:08:24,896 --> 00:08:26,896 Sure, those seemed like good times, 234 00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:29,991 but underneath the surface, a terror lurked. 235 00:08:30,085 --> 00:08:32,177 Ooh, are we doing a horror film set at summer camp? 236 00:08:32,328 --> 00:08:34,346 I'm very familiar with the genre. 237 00:08:34,573 --> 00:08:35,572 I've seen them all. 238 00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:37,215 Friday the 13th. Cabin in the Woods. 239 00:08:37,442 --> 00:08:38,833 Camp Scamps 2: Arnold's at It Again. 240 00:08:38,927 --> 00:08:40,852 So I'll be able to jump in on the story. 241 00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:44,097 Fade in... Exterior. Camp Heck Yeah! Day. 242 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,249 The camp was a classic teen camp 243 00:08:46,268 --> 00:08:47,917 right out of the actual '80s. 244 00:08:47,936 --> 00:08:50,920 BEEF: It wasn't the '80s when I worked there, guys. 245 00:08:50,939 --> 00:08:52,939 -I'm not that old. -Agree to disagree. 246 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,182 WOLF: But like all summer sleepaway camps, 247 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,869 there was a pack of counselors who only cared about being cool. 248 00:08:58,021 --> 00:08:59,704 And the two dudes who cared the most 249 00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:01,522 were Deppy and Lawler. 250 00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:04,934 They were both out to impress the hot girl counselor Kinberly. 251 00:09:04,953 --> 00:09:06,436 And Duke was there, too. 252 00:09:06,454 --> 00:09:08,772 Yeah, we hid the keg Lawler got in the woods. 253 00:09:08,865 --> 00:09:10,940 We're totally gonna party tonight. 254 00:09:10,959 --> 00:09:12,292 Gonna get so twisted. 255 00:09:12,444 --> 00:09:14,460 I'm gonna get twisted and scrambled. 256 00:09:14,613 --> 00:09:16,462 How about you, Beef, You gonna get warped? 257 00:09:16,615 --> 00:09:17,872 No. I am not. 258 00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:20,800 I plan to spend my free time honing my survival skills. 259 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,061 Whatever, Beef. Have fun surviving. 260 00:09:23,288 --> 00:09:24,304 (laughter) 261 00:09:24,456 --> 00:09:25,972 WOLF: Then Delmer walked over to Dad 262 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,124 for what's called the "tickling the baby" moment in the movie. 263 00:09:28,217 --> 00:09:30,310 It's when the hero does something cool early on 264 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:31,903 -to make you like them. -Hey, Beef, 265 00:09:32,055 --> 00:09:34,130 you got that friction fire going nice and quick. 266 00:09:34,223 --> 00:09:35,799 So why the frown? 267 00:09:35,892 --> 00:09:37,317 It's just that I thought all the other counselors here 268 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,727 would be serious, outdoor-minded people, 269 00:09:39,821 --> 00:09:41,638 not a bunch of darn Silly Billies. 270 00:09:41,731 --> 00:09:43,973 Okay, Beef, first, let's watch our language. 271 00:09:43,992 --> 00:09:46,400 Sorry, Delmer. Just because I don't like to get warped 272 00:09:46,494 --> 00:09:49,236 or fizzled or zip-zapped, I'm not cool? 273 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,589 (groans) It's frustrating. 274 00:09:50,816 --> 00:09:53,574 I know a lot of counselors here are real Party Patricks, 275 00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,743 and you're more of a fellow friend of nature. 276 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,746 But I'm always happy to work on survival skills with you, Beef. 277 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:02,325 -Ah, that'd be great. -Well, first thing is my favorite knot. 278 00:10:02,344 --> 00:10:04,936 Watch me. That's a quick release knot. 279 00:10:05,163 --> 00:10:08,014 Now, how about some advanced pocketknife skills? 280 00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:10,834 One thing I like to do is open all the little doodads on mine 281 00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:13,761 -and use it as a throwing star. -WOLF: Oh, and that's 282 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,615 one of those pieces of dialogue you should pay attention to, 283 00:10:16,766 --> 00:10:20,343 because it'll probably come back around later. 284 00:10:20,436 --> 00:10:22,011 Oop! Look what time it is. 285 00:10:22,030 --> 00:10:25,773 I think it's Rice Krispie Treat o'clock down at the mess hall. 286 00:10:25,867 --> 00:10:27,608 HONEYBEE: Then there was one of those shots 287 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,519 where you see them walking away together all nice, 288 00:10:29,612 --> 00:10:31,704 but then some weird ominous music starts to play like this: 289 00:10:31,857 --> 00:10:34,190 (wavering tones): ♪ Ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee. ♪ 290 00:10:34,209 --> 00:10:36,134 And it's clear that the nice part of the movie is over 291 00:10:36,285 --> 00:10:37,969 and it's about to get creepy. 292 00:10:38,196 --> 00:10:40,955 WOLF: That night the cool counselors were partying in the woods. 293 00:10:41,049 --> 00:10:42,307 (loud spitting) 294 00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:43,366 Gross! 295 00:10:43,385 --> 00:10:45,535 This beer tastes like spicy beans! 296 00:10:45,553 --> 00:10:48,337 Oh, my God! What the hell is all this chunky stuff 297 00:10:48,339 --> 00:10:50,315 -on the side of the keg? -I don't know. 298 00:10:50,466 --> 00:10:51,875 I found the keg sitting in the sun 299 00:10:51,893 --> 00:10:53,559 behind that abandoned chili restaurant 300 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,153 near the toxic waste dump that's owned by that cult. 301 00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:57,638 Oh, Chaz's Killer Chili. Love that place. 302 00:10:57,732 --> 00:10:59,899 Well, I'm definitely never making out with you now. 303 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,809 Unless I'm super bored. 304 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,903 (scoffs) Let's get out of here, Kinberly. 305 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,498 I've got some Swatch watches in my cabin I want to show you. 306 00:11:06,649 --> 00:11:09,058 Tubular. And I want to talk about how much I love 307 00:11:09,077 --> 00:11:10,076 the Berlin Wall. 308 00:11:10,228 --> 00:11:11,670 Way to go, Lawler, you dingus. 309 00:11:11,821 --> 00:11:13,913 -You blew it! -WOLF: But that wasn't the end 310 00:11:14,065 --> 00:11:16,733 of the skunky chili beer keg. Oh, no. 311 00:11:16,751 --> 00:11:19,402 Because one inquisitive little ground squirrel came along 312 00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:21,905 and decided to take a spicy bite. 313 00:11:21,998 --> 00:11:23,406 And then-- oh, no! 314 00:11:23,499 --> 00:11:26,017 The squirrel was trapped in the toxic chili keg. 315 00:11:26,169 --> 00:11:28,335 And that chili wasn't the only thing 316 00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:30,430 that was about to be killer. 317 00:11:30,582 --> 00:11:31,931 HONEYBEE: This is when everyone in the theater 318 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,858 who has popcorn in their lap jumps, 319 00:11:34,085 --> 00:11:35,418 and a little popcorn goes flying. 320 00:11:35,511 --> 00:11:37,570 And they say, "Ah, dang, my popcorn!" 321 00:11:40,759 --> 00:11:43,017 And that's what it's like to get a drive-on on the lot, 322 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,369 according to the book by the guys who wrote 323 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,095 Night at the Museum. Anyway... 324 00:11:46,114 --> 00:11:48,431 the monster squirrel, fueled by chili beer, 325 00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:49,741 set its sights on the camp. 326 00:11:49,893 --> 00:11:52,043 Hello? Anyone there? 327 00:11:52,270 --> 00:11:53,436 Deppy? 328 00:11:53,455 --> 00:11:55,621 After all that chili talk, I got a hankering. 329 00:11:55,774 --> 00:11:56,548 Aah! 330 00:11:56,775 --> 00:11:58,608 (chuckles nervously): Okay. 331 00:11:58,626 --> 00:12:00,385 You got me. Very funny. 332 00:12:00,536 --> 00:12:02,962 HONEYBEE: As Lawler walks to check the creaking door, 333 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,206 we switch to the killer's POV, 334 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:08,284 and we hear its heavy murderer breath. 335 00:12:08,377 --> 00:12:11,879 -Like this... -(deep, heavy breathing) 336 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,606 My chili! 337 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,143 -(screams) -(screeches) 338 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:20,964 -No! -WOLF: He plunged his giant squirrel teeth 339 00:12:20,982 --> 00:12:22,815 -right into Lawler's neck! -Aah! 340 00:12:22,968 --> 00:12:25,410 Ripped his head off and shook it around a little bit. 341 00:12:25,561 --> 00:12:27,579 (babbles) Blood goes everywhere. 342 00:12:28,323 --> 00:12:29,806 Splat, splip, sploop. 343 00:12:29,824 --> 00:12:32,976 And now the monster killer squirrel has a taste 344 00:12:32,994 --> 00:12:37,647 for skunky beer, killer chili, and the blood of hunky teens. 345 00:12:37,665 --> 00:12:39,406 HONEYBEE: But then it's a little later. 346 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,242 Enter Beef. And he's all like, "Uh-oh," 347 00:12:41,336 --> 00:12:42,819 'cause there's no Lawler, 348 00:12:42,912 --> 00:12:45,655 only his signature fanny pack laying there all spooky. 349 00:12:45,748 --> 00:12:48,082 -What the...? -Let's get some eggs, throw 'em at birds. 350 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,101 They'll be like, "Whoa! Eggs! 351 00:12:50,328 --> 00:12:52,878 Usually these come out of my butt! No way!" 352 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,606 Guys, don't throw eggs. It's wasteful. 353 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:58,092 Says the guy who threw strawberry jelly everywhere. 354 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,278 -It's not jelly. It's blood. -Gross! 355 00:13:00,429 --> 00:13:02,429 Ugh! Ever heard of a Band-Aid, bro? 356 00:13:02,524 --> 00:13:04,674 Ugh. Listen, Lawler is missing, which I've deduced 357 00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:07,268 because his fanny pack is lying here without him. 358 00:13:07,362 --> 00:13:09,529 Let's wake Delmer. He'll know what to do. 359 00:13:09,681 --> 00:13:11,681 No way. Delmer's old, and that sucks. 360 00:13:11,699 --> 00:13:15,184 Let's go out on our own with no adults at all. 361 00:13:15,278 --> 00:13:16,869 HONEYBEE: So they headed out into the woods. 362 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,296 Lawler, where are you? 363 00:13:18,447 --> 00:13:20,298 We have your fanny pack, bro! 364 00:13:20,449 --> 00:13:22,300 Lawler! You left all your blood in the kitchen! 365 00:13:22,527 --> 00:13:24,377 Quiet. We don't know what's out here. 366 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:27,713 Oh, quiet like this? (imitates fart) 367 00:13:27,866 --> 00:13:28,865 (screams) 368 00:13:28,883 --> 00:13:30,457 Oh, great. Where did Kinberly go? 369 00:13:30,552 --> 00:13:32,218 We were supposed to make out later. 370 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,554 BEEF: Paw prints. We're being hunted. 371 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,130 Let's all go back-to-back and stick together. 372 00:13:36,224 --> 00:13:39,042 Or, better idea, let's split up. 373 00:13:39,060 --> 00:13:40,134 Mm, definitely not. 374 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,377 And... split! 375 00:13:41,396 --> 00:13:43,229 HONEYBEE: And they split up, 376 00:13:43,381 --> 00:13:44,881 just like dummies always do in scary movies. 377 00:13:44,899 --> 00:13:47,066 WOLF: Yeah. So obviously the squirrel gets Duke, 378 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,718 because he wasn't a main character 379 00:13:48,736 --> 00:13:51,478 and we need a death now to keep the audience interested. 380 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,481 No! I was going to open an ice cream shop! 381 00:13:54,576 --> 00:13:57,836 It was going to be called Duke's Scoops-- aah! 382 00:13:58,063 --> 00:13:59,395 WOLF: Then the squirrel stalks Deppy. 383 00:13:59,414 --> 00:14:01,914 Lawler? Where are you, bro? 384 00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:04,300 Oh, no. This isn't good. 385 00:14:05,253 --> 00:14:06,961 -(screeches) -(screams) 386 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,906 -(grunts) -(snarls) 387 00:14:09,999 --> 00:14:11,257 Thanks, Grandpa. 388 00:14:11,409 --> 00:14:12,333 Sorry, I know that sounded sarcastic, 389 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,834 but that's just how I talk. 390 00:14:13,928 --> 00:14:15,745 I'm genuinely grateful, old man. 391 00:14:15,838 --> 00:14:17,413 -Beef! -There's a monster out here. 392 00:14:17,432 --> 00:14:19,916 -What should we do? -Well, hmm. 393 00:14:19,934 --> 00:14:23,177 How did a ground squirrel mutate into a giant monster? 394 00:14:23,271 --> 00:14:25,846 Could it have encountered a toxic substance? 395 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,256 Uh, well, we did leave 396 00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:29,183 a skunky killer chili beer keg in the woods. 397 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,201 It's not a huge whoop. 398 00:14:30,428 --> 00:14:31,944 It actually is a huge whoop. 399 00:14:32,097 --> 00:14:33,262 Littering hurts everyone. 400 00:14:33,281 --> 00:14:35,039 If it's chili that's made him, 401 00:14:35,266 --> 00:14:38,042 it's only chili that can destroy him. 402 00:14:38,269 --> 00:14:39,860 WOLF: Delmer's plan was simple. 403 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,455 HONEYBEE: They would make their own skunky chili beer 404 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:43,956 and use it as bait. 405 00:14:44,109 --> 00:14:45,550 Hmm. What am I missing? 406 00:14:45,701 --> 00:14:48,611 This squirrel doesn't just want to eat chili, it wants... 407 00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:49,870 Pringles? Frosting? 408 00:14:49,964 --> 00:14:51,431 Blood. 409 00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:53,874 The bait was ready. 410 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:57,120 WOLF: Dad and Delmer used their outdoor skills 411 00:14:57,138 --> 00:14:58,379 to construct the perfect trap. 412 00:14:58,473 --> 00:15:01,457 Now all they had to do was wait. 413 00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:03,459 -Can I hold the rope? -Are you just gonna pull on it 414 00:15:03,552 --> 00:15:05,811 -and then make a big fart sound? -(chuckles): Yeah. 415 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:06,979 Shh! 416 00:15:07,132 --> 00:15:09,407 (screechy chittering) 417 00:15:09,634 --> 00:15:10,909 DELMER: Now, Beef! 418 00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:12,485 Release the knot! 419 00:15:12,987 --> 00:15:14,804 HONEYBEE: But the squirrel didn't fall, and then he used 420 00:15:14,822 --> 00:15:18,307 his super squirrel strength to slap a tree over. 421 00:15:18,326 --> 00:15:19,809 Oh, no! There's a tree on me! 422 00:15:19,827 --> 00:15:23,646 Boys, pull out your official Camp Heck Yeah! pocketknives. 423 00:15:23,665 --> 00:15:26,149 Oh, whoops, I put a candy bar in there. 424 00:15:26,242 --> 00:15:27,574 WOLF: So Dad was on his own! 425 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,761 -Things were about to get nuts! -(screeches) 426 00:15:29,912 --> 00:15:32,321 Ooh, babe, that could be the tagline for your movie poster. 427 00:15:32,415 --> 00:15:34,824 Oh, I'll just type it in the notes app in my phone. 428 00:15:34,842 --> 00:15:36,583 Things... 429 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,252 -were... -(Delmer snoring) 430 00:15:38,346 --> 00:15:40,179 -Guys, the story. -Right! 431 00:15:40,331 --> 00:15:41,847 Beef! Throwing star. 432 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,733 Time to hurl this squirrel. 433 00:15:46,429 --> 00:15:48,187 (screeches) 434 00:15:48,339 --> 00:15:49,689 You just got Deppy'd! 435 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,432 -Deppy, you didn't do anything. -See, Beef? 436 00:15:51,526 --> 00:15:53,117 Everyone thought you weren't cool, 437 00:15:53,269 --> 00:15:54,935 but you did the coolest thing of all-- 438 00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,512 save everybody's lives. 439 00:15:56,531 --> 00:15:58,272 WOLF: Then it freeze-frames on them high-fiving 440 00:15:58,366 --> 00:16:00,016 in the air, and that was the end. 441 00:16:00,034 --> 00:16:01,167 HONEYBEE: Uh-oh. 442 00:16:01,277 --> 00:16:02,518 Speaking of movies, we might need 443 00:16:02,537 --> 00:16:04,278 to Weekend at Bernie's this bad boy. 444 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:07,356 -Ah. -Oh, did I save the town again with pee? 445 00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:10,209 Better. With your brain pee: knowledge. 446 00:16:10,361 --> 00:16:12,119 Hey, bud. Just 30 minutes to go, 447 00:16:12,213 --> 00:16:14,380 and then you can go to Sleep City. 448 00:16:14,532 --> 00:16:15,364 Dad, do a story. 449 00:16:15,383 --> 00:16:16,474 Okay, um... 450 00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,643 Ooh, how about Delmer and the Sea Monster? 451 00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:21,462 -Eh... -Sure, if you want him to fall asleep and die. 452 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:24,148 Yeah, that one is boring, and if I remember correctly, 453 00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:26,651 half that story is lists of outdated maritime laws. 454 00:16:26,802 --> 00:16:29,378 Uh, I think everyone loves my maritime law talk. 455 00:16:29,397 --> 00:16:31,547 Dad, I mean this with love and respect: 456 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,899 I absolutely hate your maritime law talk. 457 00:16:34,052 --> 00:16:35,401 Maybe For Delmer's life's sake 458 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,887 you could at least let the sea monster have a fun voice. 459 00:16:37,905 --> 00:16:38,979 Maybe it... 460 00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,481 (high-pitched) sounds like this. 461 00:16:40,575 --> 00:16:41,648 I will consider it. 462 00:16:41,743 --> 00:16:43,409 It all started at The Russian Restaurant. 463 00:16:43,561 --> 00:16:47,063 I had just learned that my dear Kathleen 464 00:16:47,156 --> 00:16:48,339 was pregnant with our first child. 465 00:16:48,566 --> 00:16:51,067 I was terrified, so Delmer and I decided to have 466 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,659 what we called a "rager." 467 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,087 Some lunch and a quiet day of fishing and contemplations. 468 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,515 We were finishing up our sandwiches when... 469 00:16:57,742 --> 00:16:58,908 Whoops. (chuckles) 470 00:16:58,926 --> 00:17:00,259 Spilled some mustard on my shirt. 471 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,927 Look at me, Mr. Mustard over here. 472 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,096 I'll go to the bathroom and clean this stain 473 00:17:04,249 --> 00:17:05,839 with some cool water because, as we all know, 474 00:17:05,933 --> 00:17:08,675 -if you use warm water, it actually sets it. -JUDY: Dad! 475 00:17:08,770 --> 00:17:11,254 You've been talking about mustard for five minutes. 476 00:17:11,347 --> 00:17:12,588 -Be exciting. -Okay. Got it. 477 00:17:12,681 --> 00:17:15,682 -So the mustard stain came out. -Dad, no. 478 00:17:15,777 --> 00:17:18,928 But more importantly, there was a salty old sea captain 479 00:17:18,946 --> 00:17:20,354 holding court in the pub. 480 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,766 And there she was, clear as me hand before me now, 481 00:17:23,859 --> 00:17:25,434 the Sea Monster of Lone Moose. 482 00:17:25,528 --> 00:17:27,620 She was ten stories tall if she were an inch, 483 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:30,697 with a long, spiky tail so sharp it'd surely cut through you 484 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,383 like a hot knife through blubber! 485 00:17:32,610 --> 00:17:33,217 MOON: Okay, 486 00:17:33,444 --> 00:17:35,386 this sounds like the 1880s. 487 00:17:35,572 --> 00:17:38,114 Oh, please. I allowed you your historical inaccuracies, 488 00:17:38,132 --> 00:17:39,615 you can allow me mine. 489 00:17:39,708 --> 00:17:41,967 So, putting no stock in the sea monster yarn, 490 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:44,136 and with Delmer by my side, I journeyed out 491 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,897 into uncharted waters. 492 00:17:46,048 --> 00:17:48,524 Ship wreckage. 493 00:17:49,627 --> 00:17:51,310 -Aah! -Aah! Monster! 494 00:17:51,462 --> 00:17:53,071 This is an active shipwreck site! 495 00:17:53,222 --> 00:17:54,980 Your interference violates the following 496 00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:57,533 -eight maritime laws. First... -Dad! -No! 497 00:18:01,989 --> 00:18:03,915 (screaming) 498 00:18:04,142 --> 00:18:05,399 I'll ready the harpoon gun! 499 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,401 Say your prayers, water demon! 500 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,403 Beef, stop. It's not trying to hurt us. 501 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,406 It's trying to get to its child. Look over there. 502 00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:15,835 It's just being protective, like I was of my kids, 503 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,078 and like you will be when you're a parent. 504 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,655 Gooblah. Gerblaw. 505 00:18:19,748 --> 00:18:20,932 MOON: No, like this. 506 00:18:21,159 --> 00:18:22,767 (high-pitched): Gooblah. Gerblaw. 507 00:18:22,994 --> 00:18:27,087 Oh. The mom is upset because it's separated from its baby. 508 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,347 That's not its mom. 509 00:18:28,499 --> 00:18:31,033 That's its dad. Look below deck. 510 00:18:31,093 --> 00:18:34,186 Oh, yeah. Wow, that's a weird penis. 511 00:18:34,339 --> 00:18:36,689 Beef, we don't need to kill the sea monster. 512 00:18:36,841 --> 00:18:39,675 We just need to get it back together with its baby. 513 00:18:39,768 --> 00:18:43,012 This sea monster is all this baby has, just like you'll be 514 00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:44,789 all your baby has. 515 00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,866 Me? What about Kathleen? 516 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,292 Eh. Don't get me wrong, Beef, 517 00:18:48,444 --> 00:18:51,370 she made for a great Wine Cooler Queen of Ketchikan, 518 00:18:51,522 --> 00:18:54,523 but she's just not a Reliable Ricky like you. 519 00:18:54,542 --> 00:18:57,784 I've known you your whole life. You're going to be a great dad. 520 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,028 (gasping) 521 00:18:59,046 --> 00:19:00,471 This is a great talk, Delmer, 522 00:19:00,698 --> 00:19:04,267 -but I should probably steer the boat out of the way. -Yup. 523 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,873 -(cheering) -BEEF: And the dad 524 00:19:10,892 --> 00:19:14,318 and the baby sea monster were reunited, and... 525 00:19:14,545 --> 00:19:16,228 Dad, this is very touching, but look at Delmer. 526 00:19:16,381 --> 00:19:19,548 Uh, three more minutes. Then there was lightning! 527 00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:21,717 And thunder! And thunder sounds! 528 00:19:21,736 --> 00:19:22,809 Thunder sounds! 529 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,495 Oh, my! Thunder sounds? 530 00:19:24,722 --> 00:19:27,907 -(thunder crashing) -The engine cut out! We're stuck! 531 00:19:28,059 --> 00:19:29,074 (both scream) 532 00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,002 DELMER: The boat's on fire! 533 00:19:32,079 --> 00:19:33,654 Shall we prepare to die? 534 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:34,730 Couldn't hurt. 535 00:19:35,917 --> 00:19:40,011 BEEF: But suddenly the boat started to move out of the storm 536 00:19:40,162 --> 00:19:43,163 and towards the shore. 537 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,183 -Gerblaw! -And in the end, 538 00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:48,093 because we had helped the dad, he helped us. 539 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,170 Just a couple of dads helping dads. 540 00:19:50,264 --> 00:19:51,931 Isn't that right, Delmer? 541 00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:53,340 (snoring) 542 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:54,417 -Delms! -Don't worry, 543 00:19:54,435 --> 00:19:56,101 we're past the four-hour mark. 544 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:59,271 -We did it. -Look at him all peaceful, catching some Zs. 545 00:19:59,424 --> 00:20:01,199 Or should I say catching some Ds? 546 00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:03,034 -'Cause he's Delmer. -Wolf, no... 547 00:20:03,185 --> 00:20:05,594 Don't say "catching some Ds." 548 00:20:06,431 --> 00:20:08,206 DELMER: Hey, Beef, thanks for telling me 549 00:20:08,433 --> 00:20:10,208 those nice stories to keep me up last night. 550 00:20:10,435 --> 00:20:13,193 Yeah, it was interesting to revisit the memories 551 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,712 of what those stories were based on. 552 00:20:14,863 --> 00:20:17,531 Like when me and Brian came to live with you for a while 553 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,125 because our parents joined that space cult. 554 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:21,794 What a couple of knuckleheads. 555 00:20:21,946 --> 00:20:23,870 And when I worked at your summer camp 556 00:20:23,965 --> 00:20:25,539 because my parents were "unavailable" 557 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,874 due to their involvement in the conspiracy 558 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,376 to poison the mayor. 559 00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:33,046 And when Kathleen got pregnant, you did take me out fishing. 560 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,807 You were pretty nervous. 561 00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:36,292 But you calmed me down. 562 00:20:36,385 --> 00:20:38,477 Delmer, you were my parent when I needed one. 563 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:41,405 And for that, I will always be thankful. 564 00:20:41,632 --> 00:20:43,799 Well, Beef, my boy, 565 00:20:43,818 --> 00:20:46,452 I love... (snoring) 566 00:20:48,973 --> 00:20:51,290 (clicking) 567 00:20:54,495 --> 00:20:55,253 (continues snoring) 568 00:20:55,404 --> 00:20:57,646 -(farts) -Dear Lord, Delmer. 569 00:20:57,665 --> 00:20:59,090 (chuckles) Gotcha again. 570 00:20:59,317 --> 00:21:02,093 ♪ Bork is the word, it's a noun, it's a verb ♪ 571 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,836 ♪ It means every single thing ♪ 572 00:21:03,988 --> 00:21:05,596 ♪ Tulips, turnips and turds ♪ 573 00:21:05,748 --> 00:21:08,324 ♪ Bork is the word, sister, have you heard? ♪ 574 00:21:08,417 --> 00:21:09,767 ♪ There's nothing that it doesn't mean ♪ 575 00:21:09,918 --> 00:21:11,660 ♪ Now Bork me as I swerve ♪ 576 00:21:11,679 --> 00:21:13,846 ♪ Bork, Bork, Bork, Ba-Bork, Bork, Ba-Bork, Bork ♪ 577 00:21:13,998 --> 00:21:15,664 ♪ Bork, Bork, Bork, Ba-Bork, Bork, Ba-Bork, Bork ♪ 578 00:21:15,683 --> 00:21:17,775 ♪ Bork, Bork, Bork, Ba-Bork, Bork, Ba-Bork, Bork ♪ 579 00:21:17,926 --> 00:21:19,502 ♪ Ba-Bork, Ba-Bork, Ba-Bork, Ba-Bork, Bork, Bork ♪ 580 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,353 ♪ A Bork is a cork, a fork is a Bork ♪ 581 00:21:21,506 --> 00:21:22,505 ♪ When you have a little Borkie ♪ 582 00:21:22,523 --> 00:21:24,189 ♪ It's brought by the stork ♪ 583 00:21:24,342 --> 00:21:25,599 ♪ Bork is the word ♪ 584 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,100 ♪ A noun and a verb ♪ 585 00:21:27,194 --> 00:21:29,287 ♪ It means every single thing, now Bork me ♪ 586 00:21:29,514 --> 00:21:31,271 ♪ While I swerve! Bork! ♪ 587 00:21:31,365 --> 00:21:32,939 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 588 00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:34,667 and TOYOTA.