1
00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:04,337
Look up there
2
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,173
Like a rock
3
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:37,454
{\an8}Oh, my God. The vibe
in the cafeteria today
4
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,830
{\an8}is electric.
5
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,750
{\an8}I can't believe
the lower 48 exchange student
6
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,376
{\an8}from our sister city
of Long Grove, Illinois
7
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,627
{\an8}arrives next week.
8
00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:46,212
{\an8}Oh, right.
You know, as someone
9
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,922
{\an8}who until this year
was homeschooled,
10
00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:50,008
{\an8}I cannot wait
to taste that fresh meat.
11
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:51,593
{\an8}Sorry, I know
not to call her fresh meat,
12
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,261
{\an8}but it's just fun to say.
13
00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:54,888
{\an8}- Fresh meat.
- And Long Grove is just
14
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,765
{\an8}an hour outside of Chicago,
so that meat
15
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,266
{\an8}is gonna be bringing
the sophistication
16
00:00:58,266 --> 00:00:59,768
{\an8}in her meat pockets.
17
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,728
{\an8}Sorry, I know
I should also not say that.
18
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,438
{\an8}Remember how last
year's student-slash-meat had
19
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,149
{\an8}a fake ID and just casually
brought red wine
20
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,735
{\an8}to the Bon Voyage Bonfire
at the end of the week?
21
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,613
{\an8}It was so cool and also got
a lot of people suspended.
22
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,531
{\an8}It's so rad that my family won
the lottery to host.
23
00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:14,991
{\an8}I know!
24
00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:17,744
{\an8}Can you imagine rolling
into the Bon Voyage Bonfire
25
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,246
{\an8}with this incredible, big city
sophisticate on our arms
26
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:22,707
{\an8}after spending a week
becoming her closest friends?
27
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,459
{\an8}I don't want to get
ahead of ourselves,
28
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:26,086
{\an8}but it might make us
cool forever
29
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,463
{\an8}and finally get Stacy B.
to leave us alone.
30
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,256
{\an8}Look at my former best friend
over there
31
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,926
{\an8}with all her-- pfft--
already popular friends.
32
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,511
{\an8}I bet she's furious that
33
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,096
{\an8}the exchange student will be
in our group.
34
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,597
She'll have to stop
calling us the...
35
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,015
The Three Muska-weirds!
36
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:40,308
What are you guys even doing?
37
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:41,559
Probably something super weird.
38
00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:43,061
Eating a bowl of finger nails?
39
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,979
That's what I heard
from when I told everyone that.
40
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:46,606
Ugh, you know what we're doing.
41
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,358
We're eating lunch,
which isn't weird.
42
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,735
Yeah, everybody does it,
except maybe those who...
43
00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:52,153
had, like, a large breakfast.
44
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,738
But most people,
they eat lunch.
45
00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:56,658
- Thanks for the lecture,
Dr. Lunch.
- You're welcome.
46
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:58,201
Uh, no, actually not.
You don't get to give me
47
00:01:58,201 --> 00:01:59,661
another stupid nickname,
48
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,205
and also stop calling us
"The Three Muska-weirds."
49
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,665
I bet you haven't even
read the book
50
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,000
that you're basing
that insult on.
51
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,626
What are you talking about,
Judy?
52
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,670
I based it on a candy bar. Bye...
53
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:10,130
Ugh, she's so mean.
54
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,756
But pretty soon
there will be four of us,
55
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,675
and she can't call us
The Four Muska-weirds.
56
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,552
She absolutely can call us that.
57
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,387
But overall
things are looking up.
58
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:18,888
Did you get "A"
59
00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:20,306
for number four?
60
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,976
Uh, because I'm also
feeling "B" and "C."
61
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,980
- And honestly, "D" has a little
something going for her.
- It's "C."
62
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,774
And that's why you have
the highest GPA in our grade
63
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:32,110
and get to go to Illinois
on the exchange program.
64
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,486
- Are you jazzed?
- Of course.
65
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,113
Who doesn't want to
see Long Grove,
66
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,448
home of the longest grove?
67
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,741
Oop, before I forget.
68
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:38,992
I wanted to leave you
with something
69
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,326
to remember me by
while I'm gone,
70
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,120
so I found
this handsome little devil
71
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,205
at the garden center,
and I was wondering
72
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,541
if you'd like to cactus-sit him
while I'm gone.
73
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:50,378
Oh. He is... so cute
and sharp.
74
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:52,714
I named him Robert.
Robert Plant-inson.
75
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,175
You know I am very slightly
afraid of cactuses,
76
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,510
but this one is so small,
77
00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:00,388
and I have always
thought about having kids,
78
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:03,224
so cactus-sitting sounds
like an easy way to practice,
79
00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:05,727
especially if I have
a baby with thorns one day.
80
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,688
Now, what are we thinking on
this next one? "A," maybe "C"?
81
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:10,398
- It's "B."
- I knew it!
82
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,942
Thanks again for letting us
sleep over all week, Esther.
83
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,235
Of course, girls,
we've already got
84
00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:15,862
- Kima's cousin here.
- Nasty.
85
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,822
Uh, you mispronounced
"extremely cool."
86
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:20,325
Uh, you mispronounced
"My name is Dane,
87
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,410
"and my farts smells like
gasoline-soaked Cheetos
88
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:23,745
"that someone ate and then
threw up
89
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,038
"and then someone
ate that barf
90
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,623
and then farted
again after that."
91
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,458
Kima, stop. Although, Dane,
92
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,418
- your farts really are a mess.
- Thank you, Uncle Walt.
93
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,045
So, you dweebs are
staying here all week
94
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,713
just to hang out
with someone from--
95
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,465
checks notes--
Illi-nerd?
96
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,884
Why do I hate it
when Stacy makes fun of me,
97
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,844
but I love it
when Dane makes fun of me?
98
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:41,888
Because I'm like
the guys from Jackass,
99
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,682
a little wild but a lot lovable.
100
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:45,225
Judy, no, Dane's gross.
101
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,227
And he has a tattoo of Garfield
saying "no worries"
102
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,229
- on his calf.
- Roasted.
103
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,106
You know who else is
getting roasted pretty bad?
104
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,899
Only in not such a fun way?
105
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,067
Mother Earth.
106
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,402
Dad, we all get it.
107
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,653
You're a climate scientist,
108
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,446
but also you're preaching
to the choir.
109
00:03:58,446 --> 00:03:59,906
We're the ones that
are gonna get broiled alive.
110
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,241
It's a bummer.
111
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,534
Oh, sorry.
112
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:03,993
Is it a bummer
that at this pace,
113
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:06,162
your mother and the other
Alaskan smoke jumpers up here
114
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,206
are gonna be fighting wildfires
year-round?
115
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,166
Is it a bummer
that whole pods of seals
116
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,459
are dying because the sea ice
117
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:12,711
off Biorka Island is
thinner than a...
118
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,462
- Walt, cool it.
- Fine.
119
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,339
But you know what's cooling
way too fast?
120
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,549
- Oh, my God.
- Stop.
- Let us eat, Walt.
121
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:18,842
So guys, for real,
122
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,343
what do we know
about the Illi-nerd?
123
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,636
Esther! All we know is
124
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,430
that she's probably
very sophisticated
125
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,098
and her shine will get
all over us,
126
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,392
and Stacy B. will stop calling
us The Three Musk-a-weirds.
127
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,602
What is Stacy B.'s problem
with you three, anyway?
128
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:31,730
It's not Stacy B.'s
problem with us three,
129
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,815
it's really just... me.
130
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,775
See, all through childhood, me
and Stacy B. were best friends.
131
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,069
We even had
matching BFF toe rings.
132
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,363
But then, as we got older,
things changed,
133
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,866
and it all came to a head
one day at school.
134
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,743
She had already disinvited me
from her birthday party,
135
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,244
which was weird because
it was happening at my house.
136
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:49,289
But then I made the fatal error
of coming to school
137
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,249
in a very fun airbrushed T-shirt
138
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,626
where the "U" in my name
was replaced by a rainbow.
139
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:57,464
{\an8}And out of nowhere, Stacy B.
turned to me and said...
140
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,798
Are you wearing a shirt
141
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,300
with your own name on it
142
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,801
where the "U" is replaced
by a rainbow?
143
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,763
{\an8}Oof. If there's
one thing I've learned
144
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,431
{\an8}from C.J. on The West Wing,
145
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,224
{\an8}it's that a well-timed
rhetorical question
146
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:10,143
{\an8}can cut very deep.
147
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:13,271
All she did was point out
a fact, but a line was drawn.
148
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,857
Stacy left me behind,
and I never understood it.
149
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:18,985
And I couldn't even bring myself
to take my BFF toe ring off,
150
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,363
and it really hurts,
because it got very tight.
151
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:22,864
And also,
it hurts emotionally
152
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,324
because she didn't want to be
my friend anymore.
153
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,492
Both things are unpleasant!
154
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,910
Well,
when Chicago Jill gets here,
155
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,245
she's gonna take us
from The Three Muska-weirds
156
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:32,457
to the four muska-cool-girls
you respect too much to bully.
157
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,709
Just like Dane's calf-Garfield
says: "No worries."
158
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,755
Attention, let's kick off
159
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,423
this full week of
out-of-town fun
160
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:44,219
from today Meet-Ya-Monday
to Friday's Bon Voyage Bonfire.
161
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,888
It's my honor to present
Lone Moose's annual
162
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,973
"Lower 48 Exchange Student."
163
00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:51,351
And now,
without further ado...
164
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,894
This is further ado.
165
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,939
What you're doing right now
is textbook further ado.
166
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:59,734
- Oh, well, ado apologize.
- Mm-mm. Yuck.
167
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:02,987
Well, I liked it. Anyway,
here's Jill Gerbert-Erble.
168
00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:06,866
Oh, man. Here she comes
in her leather jacket and heels.
169
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,827
Uh... Jill? Huh.
170
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,370
She told me she wanted to
make a big entran--
171
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,579
Oh, here we go.
172
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:16,418
Rub your antennas together
for the Queen Bee!
173
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,586
Thank you, sir, however,
I am not, nor will I ever be,
174
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:19,963
comfortable sharing the stage.
175
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,131
Please step back.
176
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,383
Now, who's ready
to take a Jill Pill?
177
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,469
Side effects include:
diah-respect for bees.
178
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:27,679
Oh, no.
179
00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:28,805
You're probably wondering
180
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,056
what my life is like
back home,
181
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,017
on the Gerbert-Erble Family
Bee Farm.
182
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:34,019
So let me tell you: amazing.
183
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,979
Um, what is happening?
184
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,273
The Gerbert-Erble Family
Bee Farm is located 45 minutes
185
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,816
outside of Long Grove,
186
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,818
in an unincorporated hamlet
called Beesville.
187
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,862
My school is in Long Grove,
my online school.
188
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,572
I go twice a year to take exams.
189
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,741
Have you ever
even been to Chicago?
190
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,784
Why?
So I can get trampled to death
191
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,078
by all the improv actors
sprinting to get in line
192
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,747
for deep dish pizzas?
No, thank you.
193
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,915
Of course,
this absolute bizarro is staying
194
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,500
with The Three Muska-weirds.
195
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,752
I bet they're gonna spend
the whole week
196
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,086
holding hands on the toilet.
197
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,546
Freaks.
198
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,465
It's like my rainbow T-shirt
came to life
199
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,008
and lives on a bee farm.
200
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,556
So, you guys are staying here
all week just to be with moi?
201
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,682
It's like a little hive
and I'm the queen.
202
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,351
Oh, okay, so,
the bee thing is like...
203
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:16,019
this is, like,
your whole personality?
204
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,937
- Cool.
- Now, Mrs. Esther
and Mr. Walter,
205
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,689
where do you keep
your honey carafe?
206
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:22,609
- Oh, for... what?
- Okay, Walt.
207
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,736
Like we were gonna have tacos
without honey?
208
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,321
- You big clown.
- What?
209
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:29,366
Dad, Jill, um,
loves honey and bees,
210
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,284
and actually has
a super interesting life
211
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,578
back on her family's bee farm, so...
212
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,163
Wait a second. A farm?
213
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,499
Not Chicago? I thought
you were a big-city big shot?
214
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,125
I am something of a big shot.
215
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,710
Not to buzz
my own hind wings,
216
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,421
but I'm, uh, in charge of
a whole section of the apiary.
217
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:46,508
Ooh. Oh, no. Mrs. Esther,
where is the nearest toilet?
218
00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:47,926
Just down that hallway
on the left.
219
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,678
Please do not wait for me
to eat the tacos.
220
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:52,055
The TSA seized my water bottle
full of honey,
221
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,890
and, without my daily dose,
222
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,934
oof, my bowels have been thrown
for quite a loop.
223
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,186
Okay, go ahead.
You can say it.
224
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,438
We're The Four Muska-weirds now.
This blows.
225
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,190
Come on, Judy,
she's definitely odd,
226
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,067
but she's only here five days.
227
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,527
And we shouldn't
make her feel weird.
228
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:07,404
Yeah, maybe we'll turn her cool.
229
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,239
- You guys?
- Dane, I will ground you.
230
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,532
I'm in college.
231
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,575
I mean, she certainly
can't get less normal,
232
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:13,910
so I don't see a downside.
233
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,453
False alarm,
that was actually
234
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,872
just a very significant
gas event.
235
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,708
The candle you had lit in there
blew right out, ma'am.
236
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,836
Now, where are we
on that honey carafe?
237
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,880
All right, Robert. I'm just
gonna get my homework done,
238
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,174
and you... do that.
239
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:34,097
Okay. Just gonna drape this
over you carefully and-- Ow!
240
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,974
Okay, now you're
being unreasonable.
241
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,058
That's enough, young man.
242
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,351
All right, while I have dinner,
243
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,437
you sit in your little book jail
244
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,605
and think about
what you've done, Robert.
245
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,947
- Were you watching me sleep?
- Only since dawn.
246
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,867
I sleep bee hours,
11:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m.
247
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,286
Are you ready for a wacky
Waco weekend girls' trip?
248
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:57,579
I read that
in my in-flight magazine.
249
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:58,955
I have no idea what it means,
250
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,457
but I really enjoyed saying it.
251
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,417
Anyway, what do we have planned
for after school?
252
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,128
Anything is fine with me,
such as and for instance,
253
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,130
there is a very exciting
indoor bee farm
254
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,090
in Fairbanks
I'd love to see.
255
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,343
It's only a nine-hour drive,
but I get sick if the car goes
256
00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:13,970
over 30 miles an hour,
so it will take us 18.
257
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,097
Or what if instead
we take you to the mall
258
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:19,434
for new clothes and new hair,
and just, like...
259
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,728
- change everything about you.
- Oh.
- Judy!
260
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,897
What Judy is
trying to say is, uh,
261
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,774
on Friday,
there's this event at school,
262
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,525
the Bon Voyage Bonfire,
263
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,277
and there's this fun tradition
where you toss things
264
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,945
in the fire
you want to let go of,
265
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:33,615
and maybe you'd like to get a
new outfit for it or something.
266
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:36,951
Wait, are you offering me
a human teen makeover?
267
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,620
Offering, suggesting, demanding,
268
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:39,871
whatever you want to call it.
269
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:42,665
- We're offering.
- And if you happen to say...
270
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,084
turn heads at school,
and people wonder,
271
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,377
"Wait, who is
that exchange student,
272
00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:46,878
and look at her normal
and not weird friends!"
273
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:49,756
Well, pfft, I don't know,
that would be neat.
274
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,132
Oh, my God! I accept!
275
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,301
It'll "bee"
my greatest honor.
276
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,637
- You know, like a bee.
- Yeah. we got it! We get it.
We-we got it.
277
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,138
All right, after school,
we'll have
278
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:59,766
a Lone Moose
Makeover Extravaganza.
279
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,860
Did you know there's a hairstyle
named after beehives?
280
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,947
- Jill, no.
281
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,037
Okay, two words: the dump.
282
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,706
Yes. The dump.
283
00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:24,124
Have I told you
they've reinstated
284
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,458
their early evening hours?
285
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,335
Yes, Dad. Many times.
286
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,838
They haven't had evening hours
since I worked there in my 20s.
287
00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:32,007
I did our trash run
a whole two days early.
288
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:34,092
- Your turn, Ham.
- Oh, uh, sorry, one sec.
289
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,969
I'm texting Crispin.
"How's Robert?"
290
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,054
Who's Robert?
You know I like to meet
291
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,223
all your new friends,
so I can also befriend them.
292
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,559
Oh, crap, I forgot
I'm cactus-sitting.
293
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,644
Skip my turn, I'm gonna go
snap a pic for Crispin.
294
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,312
I'm up.
All right, babe.
295
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,815
Movie marriage mind meld,
here we go.
296
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,776
- Okay, you're eating,
a-and it's family style.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
297
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,695
- Family is very important
to you.
- Mm-hmm.
298
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,238
In fact,
your car robbing group is
299
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,865
- an awful lot like a family.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
300
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,199
- Fast and Furious 7!
- Woo-hoo!
301
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,411
Robert?
302
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,081
Robert!
303
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:07,834
- Dad, did you really go
to the dump already?
- Why, yes.
304
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,878
They reinstated
their early evening hours, so...
305
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,046
How could you?!
306
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,839
Hey, bud. Calm down.
What's up?
307
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,174
Oh, I don't know,
308
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,759
my own dad dropped
my boyfriend's cactus
309
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,969
that I promised I'd keep
an eye on at the dump,
310
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,637
and now it's lost forever!
311
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,807
- How could you do this, Father?!
- Ham, don't panic.
312
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:25,018
The dump's closed
for the next couple of days.
313
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,936
Paulie's taking Wednesday
and Thursday off
314
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:30,357
to work on his novel:
Jeremy Can, Garbage Detective.
315
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,068
But we can go on Friday
and ask to have our trash back.
316
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:35,612
And in the meantime,
maybe send Crispin an emoji.
317
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,072
I think teens love those.
318
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:39,115
Ooh, try shrimp
or the eggplant.
319
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,742
No, Dad, the eggplant is...
320
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,619
Actually, you know what,
I will send him that one.
321
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,789
Hello, everyone.
322
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:49,417
Read us and weep.
It's us, The Oresome Foursome.
323
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,753
That's like "awesome"
but better, and it rhymes, so...
324
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:54,547
It does rhyme,
but I don't like it.
325
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,592
Hello, Quay,
a cool boy in our grade.
326
00:11:57,592 --> 00:12:00,428
Oh, hey, Judy. Kima.
Amelia. Bee girl.
327
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,764
Uh, okay, take another look.
Not a bee girl.
328
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:04,474
She's just a regular,
human girl
329
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:07,227
who is friends with us.
Oh, hi, Stacy.
330
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,312
- I didn't even see you there.
- Oh, hey, Judy.
331
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:10,689
Hey, Jill.
You look nice.
332
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,440
Yeah, that's right, she does.
333
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,443
You might even say she looks,
uh, Muska-fierce.
334
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,945
Mm-mm. No. Don't say that.
335
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,030
Uh, excuse us! Excuse us!
336
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:22,200
Lower 48 cool girl
and her besties coming through.
337
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,910
- Choo choo.
- Or her best bees.
338
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,370
Jill, no. No, no.
339
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:28,081
And to think, I knew them
when they were weird.
340
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:43,054
See you later, Jude,
and all Jude's dudes.
341
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:45,181
I cannot believe
the week we're having.
342
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,891
Stacy B. hasn't called me
a muska-weird even once
343
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,227
since Jill's makeover,
and our lunch table is
344
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,895
absolutely popping off.
345
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,480
Do you guys think
we should sell tickets?
346
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,357
To sit with us? No,
you're right, not yet, not yet.
347
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,776
Can you even imagine rolling
into The Bon Voyage Bonfire
348
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,195
- tonight with this momentum?
- I'm gonna go see about getting
349
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,989
more honey packets
from the lunch lady.
350
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,574
Buzz right back.
351
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:05,827
Hey, Jill, big news,
you're sitting with us today.
352
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,871
Okay, but I won't share
my honey packets.
353
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,414
No, no, no, no, no, no!
354
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:12,417
Did Stacy B. really just steal
Jill away to sit with her?
355
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,252
Well, Jill does love bees,
356
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:15,837
so this works on
a lot of levels.
357
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:19,299
No, no. She can't have Jill,
too. I can fix this.
358
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,343
- I have to.
- Let it go, Jude.
359
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:22,802
- Judy!
- Oh, no.
360
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,388
Hello,
it's me, Judy Tobin.
361
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,557
- Jill's friend.
- Jill's friend?
362
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:30,060
Anyway, I just wanted to address
the elephant in the room.
363
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,686
Yes, the rumors are true.
364
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,188
Jill just sat down
with Stacy B.
365
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:34,647
I can't believe
this is happening
366
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,899
during my birthday month.
367
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:38,943
- What a gift.
- But Jill is still our friend.
368
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:41,112
She's not leaving us
for Stacy B. or whatever.
369
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,989
She will be back
with us very soon,
370
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,574
and a thank you,
and, um, and drive safe.
371
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,535
And, uh, come on back, Jill.
372
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,995
Let's get
out of here, Jill.
373
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,288
I have a piece of toast
in my locker
374
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,248
that looks exactly
like Shawn Mendes.
375
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,249
It's gonna blow your mind.
376
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,709
Okay. Well,
she's just gonna go,
377
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:57,128
and then we'll go, and then
we'll all see her later.
378
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,966
- Well, that was
probably fine, right?
- Judy, no.
379
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,177
It wasn't fine.
It was embarrassing and bad.
380
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,137
Yeah, seriously, Judy,
let it go.
381
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:07,472
I'm sorry, but no!
382
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,474
The days of Stacy B.
treating me like garbage
383
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:10,850
have to be over.
384
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,310
I know where she hangs out
after school.
385
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,020
Let's just please go there
later and get Jill back
386
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,605
in time for
the Bon Voyage Bonfire.
387
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,273
We're finally getting cool.
388
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,317
- Please?
- Geez, Judy, fine.
389
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:21,611
Okay, I'll go physically,
but mentally I'm gonna be
390
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,280
at my favorite place: the bulk
bins in the grocery store,
391
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,659
sticking my hands in the malt
balls because it feels great.
392
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,161
Hello, Paulie,
how are you today?
393
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:32,205
In the middle of
a particularly riveting episode
394
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,040
of Pretty Little Liars,
that's how I am.
395
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,167
- Now, can I help you
with something?
- I hope so.
396
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,961
I accidentally
threw away a cactus, and...
397
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:40,714
- I can't believe it.
- Yeah, it's stressful.
398
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:43,341
One of the Pretty Little Liars
just dropped a huge truth bomb.
399
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,218
Don't see that every day.
Now, what's going on?
400
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,304
Paulie, we just need to get back
some of the trash I dropped off,
401
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:52,225
- to retrieve
something important.
- A.D.A.F., bud.
402
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,977
Oh, man. Oh, man.
403
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,645
Hmm. We're not beaten yet.
404
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,439
I happen to know
a secret way in.
405
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:58,815
Let's get that cac back.
406
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,735
You know, bees actually have
big hearts, emotionally,
407
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,111
but tiny hearts, physically,
408
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:05,447
which often explode
during times of stress.
409
00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:08,158
Ugh! Like, take a Xanax
and get in the hot tub, bees.
410
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,535
Uh, if you ever put a bee
in a hot tub, miss lady,
411
00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:12,495
I'll rip your wings off
and feed you your own stinger.
412
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:15,081
Ugh! Stacy B.'s just doing this
to get back at me!
413
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,334
She doesn't even like bees!
It makes me sick.
414
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,918
You know what
makes me sick, Judy?
415
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,504
The thought of missing Kima's
mom's tater tot casserole.
416
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,506
So, what exactly
is the plan here?
417
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,009
- Well, I'm gonna go out
there and tell Jill--
- Oh, my God.
418
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:28,094
Is that The Three Muska-weirds?
419
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,764
Did you follow us here?
That is beyond.
420
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,390
Actually, uh, no,
we didn't follow you here.
421
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,184
We came here independently
to check on...
422
00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:36,603
the wind, and
it sure is blowing, so okay.
423
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,730
Anyway, while we're here,
Jill, you should know
424
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:41,024
that Stacy is only hanging out
with you to get back at me.
425
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:42,734
She's trying to make sure
I go back
426
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,778
to being a loser
who gets called names
427
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,446
and doesn't have friends, so...
428
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,656
Wait, "doesn't have friends"?
429
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,533
Yeah, I thought we were
humiliating ourselves
430
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,951
on this freezing cold dock
431
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,204
so our friend could prove
some dumb point.
432
00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:55,663
- I guess not.
- Wait, no. Come on.
433
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,290
- That's not fair.
- Save it, Judy.
434
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,292
We're supposed to be
three queens,
435
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,628
but you just treated us
like worker drones.
436
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,213
Ugh, I can't believe
I accidentally
437
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,715
learned this much about bees!
Let's go, Kima.
438
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,218
Uh, there would never be
three queen bees, Amelia!
439
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,719
The hatched queen would kill
the other two
440
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,763
by stinging them. Ooh.
441
00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:14,099
This hot chocolate
makes me burp.
442
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,351
Aha! Bingo.
443
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,520
I cut this slit
in December 1999,
444
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,021
after I lost my keys
445
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:22,941
at a particularly wild
Dump-2-K party.
446
00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,776
Crushed a lot of
computers that night.
447
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,027
And a lot of Zimas.
448
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:27,654
We felt so free.
449
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,656
Kind of cool to be
at the dump at night, huh?
450
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,866
I wish I had fewer cockroaches
in my pant legs,
451
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,326
but overall, not bad.
452
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,828
Put her in park, son.
453
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,788
This is where they dump
the newest trash.
454
00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:39,082
Dad, look,
that's got to be our stuff!
455
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:42,168
Yup, glad I bought those
hot pink trash bags on sale.
456
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,878
I was a little afraid
they would make our garbage
457
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,256
look too flirty
but sure paying off.
458
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,425
Robert? Dad, I found Robert!
459
00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:50,010
- Oh, no, he's...
- Hey, stop right there!
460
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,469
I'm putting you in dump jail!
461
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:53,722
Ham, run.
Dump jail is awful.
462
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,974
I got an update
on the salmon count,
463
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:57,892
- if anybody is interested.
- No, Walt.
- No, Dad.
464
00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,728
Don't mind me, um, uh,
465
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:02,188
just gonna grab my stuff
for the bonfire and go.
466
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,565
Yeah, good, go.
467
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:05,233
Okay, I know a fight
when I see one.
468
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,277
What's going on here?
And where's bee girl?
469
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:11,031
We did have a fight,
and we lost the bee girl!
470
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,615
should I call Chief Edna?
471
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,659
We didn't literally lose her.
472
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,411
We lost her to Stacy B.
473
00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:19,247
And then I lost
two other friends,
474
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,249
because I, Judy Tobin,
475
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:24,627
am just in general
terrible at friends!
476
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,214
Uh, sorry you suck
at being a teen girl
477
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,924
and everything,
but shotgun on those tots.
478
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,223
What in the hell is going on?
479
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,642
What's going on is
that Judy is so obsessed
480
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,353
with proving some dumb point
to Stacy B.
481
00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:42,687
that she basically forgot
we existed
482
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,356
and said she had "no friends."
483
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:46,608
I did not!
I mean, I did, but...
484
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:48,568
Judy, these two girls would do
anything for you
485
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,944
and to take them for granted
like that,
486
00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:51,654
well, you're being
a real douche.
487
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,948
- Thank you.
- Not so fast. You two?
488
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:56,701
- Also being douches.
- Yeah, Kima,
stop being a douche.
489
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,828
- Dane, go to your room.
- Are you kidding me? I'm 19.
490
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,872
- Room.
- Fine.
491
00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,999
As I was saying, Judy here
is going through some biz,
492
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:05,001
and when your friends
go through biz,
493
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,670
you don't ice them out
like this.
494
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,380
Understood?
When you have a husband
495
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,382
who pretty much
only likes to talk about
496
00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:12,634
- how the world's about to end...
- It is.
497
00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:14,594
...you realize one thing:
life is short,
498
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,097
and you got to hang on
to your real friends.
499
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,015
What matters is something
you girls already have,
500
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,518
- and it's right here
in front of you.
- I'm sorry.
501
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,436
- Me, too.
- Me three.
502
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,355
I just don't understand, Judy.
503
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,774
We usually don't care
about being popular or cool,
504
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,151
but suddenly
it's all you can talk about.
505
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,445
Ugh! Stacy B. brings that
out in me!
506
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,947
She's my Achilles' heel.
507
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,699
Or maybe my Achilles' toe,
because that's
508
00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:37,867
where that stupid
BFF toe ring still is.
509
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:40,161
Judy, Stacy B.
is a nonsense person.
510
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,788
Let her have her popularity.
511
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,998
For someone like her,
high school is their time.
512
00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:46,334
After high school, you know
what's waiting for her?
513
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,753
Nothing. She's peaked.
It's all downhill after that.
514
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,255
You know who else
it's all downhill for?
515
00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:52,298
- Mother Earth.
- Absolutely not, Walter.
516
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,675
- Understood.
- Now eat up.
517
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,010
And if you go to
that party later,
518
00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:56,678
please make sure
the bee girl's all right.
519
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,138
I saw her try
to sting the neighbor.
520
00:18:58,138 --> 00:18:59,973
She chased him
for a good five minutes.
521
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,891
She shouldn't be unsupervised.
522
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:04,310
That's gonna make
dropping off our trash
523
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,479
a little awkward
but sure was worth it.
524
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,273
Ham? Everything okay, son?
525
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:10,608
No, I killed Crispin's cactus.
526
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:13,903
Oh, no, son, are you worried
that Crispin will be mad at you?
527
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:17,198
I mean, yeah, he might be
a little for a minute,
528
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:19,284
but our relationship
is super strong.
529
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:22,579
I'll say I'm sorry,
and he'll be okay.
530
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:25,081
So then,
what are you worried about?
531
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:27,500
I'm worried about this guy, Dad.
532
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,753
Me, your son, Ham.
533
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:31,713
I know I'm only 16,
and it's a little weird,
534
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:33,256
but I think about wanting kids someday,
535
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:34,841
as, like,
a life goal, but...
536
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,301
but remember
when I won that goldfish
537
00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:38,511
at the fish toss
and forgot to feed it?
538
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:39,929
- You were eight.
- Uh-huh.
539
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,473
How that time I watched Moon,
540
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:43,308
and he ate, like, a whole pie.
541
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:45,352
He's an unstoppable
dessert hole,
542
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:47,937
- consuming
all that surrounds him.
- Yeah, but...
543
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,814
those things,
and now this.
544
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,941
If I'm not responsible enough
to keep a cactus alive,
545
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,235
there's no way I should have
an actual human baby.
546
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:56,613
Oh, Ham,
just because you killed a cactus
547
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,865
doesn't mean you won't be
a good dad someday.
548
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,534
Look at me. I used to lose
my keys and use cable cutters
549
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,244
to break into my own job.
550
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,163
But then,
eventually I grew up.
551
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:08,249
And then one day, I was ready
to take care of you kids.
552
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:10,251
I mean, I wasn't,
but I had to.
553
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,587
And then I was.
That'll happen to you, too, Ham.
554
00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:15,507
- Just give it time.
- Thanks, Dad. I love you.
555
00:20:15,507 --> 00:20:17,384
I guess I ought to text Crispin.
556
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:18,802
"Hi, Crispin.
557
00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:20,845
"I'm sorry to tell you
that Robert went
558
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,681
to the big desert in the sky."
559
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:26,851
Cactus emoji, ghost emoji,
shrug emoji, heart emoji.
560
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,311
And an eggplant.
561
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,021
You know, just to keep it fun. Send.
562
00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:33,316
See you in hell,
Roger the Friendly Starfish.
563
00:20:33,316 --> 00:20:35,318
Bon voyage, birth certificate.
564
00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:37,362
This will definitely
stir things up at home.
565
00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:39,698
- Whose son even am I?
- Is that...?
566
00:20:39,698 --> 00:20:42,200
My best friends forever toe ring
from Stacy B.?
567
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,494
You bet it is.
It took a lot of baby oil,
568
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:46,079
but I wrestled it off
in Kima's bathroom after dinner.
569
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:48,081
Bon voyage, Stacy B.
570
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,417
Yeah, bon voyage, dumbass.
571
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:52,127
Bon voyage, Stacy's phone.
572
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:53,420
What the...? What?
573
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,921
You said you were getting
too many texts.
574
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,715
I was helping you.
575
00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:59,843
All right, let's be
good friends and go save Jill.
576
00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:31,875
{\an8}Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
577
00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:33,918
{\an8}and TOYOTA.