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{\an8}♪ The Great North ♪
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♪ Here we live ♪
♪ Hup, oh ♪
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- ♪ Here we'll stay ♪
- ♪ Whoo ♪
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♪ From longest night to longest day ♪
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♪ In the Great North ♪
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Thanks for stopping by
Cheesecake's with me.
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{\an8}I just wanna check on him.
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{\an8}He hasn't texted me back in a few weeks,
and I'm a little worried.
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{\an8}Of course. But remember,
I am not staying for drinks.
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{\an8}I'm still a little annoyed about
him eating my passport
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{\an8}the last time we all partied.
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{\an8}Ha! That was hilarious.
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{\an8}Even better than the time
he ate my passport.
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{\an8}What a specific craving.
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{\an8}I will never understand
how much you love Cheesecake, babe.
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{\an8}But a friend of yours is a friend of mine.
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{\an8}Cheesecake is just pure fun.
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{\an8}He's, like, you know,
if a piñata was a living man.
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{\an8}Uh-oh. How'd you find me, Officer?
I can explain everything.
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Get in here.
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{\an8}Hey, pal. What's going on?
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{\an8}I texted you a bunch of YouTubes
of news anchors farting on air
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{\an8}and not a single LOL.
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{\an8}Oh, I guess I forgot to pay my dang bill.
Lost my wallet.
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{\an8}Set it down in a wallet store
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{\an8}and... [chuckles] ...well,
you can see what happened there.
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{\an8}Let me get you two a cocktail.
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{\an8}You guys gotta try
this hangover cure I invented.
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{\an8}You drink gin out of a bowl,
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{\an8}and that tricks the body into thinking
it's getting soup, which is healthy.
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{\an8}None for me.
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{\an8}My new passport just came in the mail,
so I need my wits about me.
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Suit yourself.
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{\an8}Looks like you have
some past-due bills here. Huh, bud?
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{\an8}Oh, yeah. You know how
these companies like to play hardball.
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{\an8}You can't give in to their demands.
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{\an8}Cheesecake, quick question.
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{\an8}Is it possible that your RV
is being repossessed?
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{\an8}This is a bluff. They're bluffing.
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{\an8}I'm sorry, Cheesecake,
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{\an8}but you haven't made a payment
on the RV in seven months.
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{\an8}Okay, true.
But a heads-up would've been nice.
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{\an8}I told you a dozen times to your face
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{\an8}that I was gonna have to
tow this thing away.
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{\an8}I thought we were doing a bit.
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{\an8}I don't understand. Aren't you loaded?
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What happened to that 350,000 bucks
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from the settlement
when that snowplow hit you?
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Yeah. You said
you'd never have to work again.
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Oh... [chuckles] ...it seems I misunderstood.
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The settlement I received
was actually 35 grand,
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which I thought was just
a cute way of saying 350,000.
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So it turns out I've spent
all my money except $11.
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Well, don't worry.
You can stay with us for a few days and--
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Uh, uh, Wolf, is there someone you'd like
to check with before making that offer?
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- Oh, Dad will totally be cool with it.
- I meant me!
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Guys, I'll be fine.
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I can just stay
at that beachfront drainpipe.
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It hasn't rained that much recently,
so I'm good.
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Honeybee.
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Fine.
I guess you can stay with us.
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But just until you figure something out.
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Great. Let me just grab my gin bowl and--
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And you will drink your gin
out of a glass,
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mixed with tonic and lime,
just like everyone else.
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Oh, Dorothy.
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Hear ye, hear ye.
The clothing swap is now in session.
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Beef, you go.
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Okay. I brought
a 10-by-14 waxed canvas tarp
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that can become a poncho
during a sudden downpour.
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Ooh, gimme. I'd love to embarrass
my daughter by wearing that in public.
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I bet you look good
in canvas tan.
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Beef, are you flirting with Carissa?
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What? No. I genuinely think
she'd look great in a tarp.
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What an unusual
but fun compliment.
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Now, stop embarrassing him, Dorothy.
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If he turns any redder, we're gonna have
to take him to the emergency room.
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Uh, you, uh, finally
opened your new coffee shop, Carissa.
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That's exciting.
How are things going down there?
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Oh, it's not going that good.
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We don't have regulars yet,
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and the tourists off the cruises
just seem to pass us by.
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Well, maybe we could all stop in
and spend a little dough.
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- Oh, sure.
- Thanks, guys.
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Okay, my turn. Who wants it?
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It's casual, but you could dress it up
with some stilettos.
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- Quick meeting under the covers?
- Schedule's wide open.
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Okay, what's the plan?
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Cheesecake can't sleep in a Snorks
sleeping bag in our living room forever.
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Don't worry, sweetie.
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I've been through this kinda stuff
with him before,
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and Cheesy C always lands on his feet.
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Besides, that's our thing.
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I'm there for him. He's there for me.
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I've seen half of that, babe.
When has Cheesecake ever done--
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Hey. Quick threesome?
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JK. JK.
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Sorry to startle you,
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but I just woke up to a text
with some great news.
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My cousin Porch is gonna hook me up
with a job as a deep-sea crab fisherman!
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Oh, uh--
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I guess the greenhorn just got decapitated
by an icy net.
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So the job's all mine. How lucky am I?
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Uh, so lucky.
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All right. Sleep tight.
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Uh, follow-up meeting right now?
Same location?
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Oh, man. Oh, man.
I can't let my BFF do this.
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He does not have the stuff
to make it on a crab boat.
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Look, why don't we take him out
on our boat tomorrow and see how he does?
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Maybe he'll turn out to be a secret genius
at it, and there's nothing to worry about.
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Hell yeah.
Maybe he's a "Good Will Fishing."
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Wolf, I need you and Honeybee
to prep the boat this morning.
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- I'll be a little late.
- Aye, aye, Father.
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That's actually perfect because
Cheesecake got a job on a crab boat.
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So we were gonna give him
a little taste of the seafaring life.
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A job? Cheesecake? That's hilarious.
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What are you gonna do? Operate him
from under his hat like Ratatouille?
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Ooh, could we?
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Both of you?
You're gonna break the poor guy's neck.
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Well, I am visiting
Carissa's fancy new coffee shop
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on the way to the docks this morning
to support her
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by spending a couple of bucks
on a cup of joe.
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Classy. Wanna borrow one of my berets?
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- Oh, God, do I need one?
- Definitely.
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And when they ask for your name
for your cup, say Jean-Luc Picard.
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Oh-- [speaks French].
Definitely do that, Dad.
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Oh, I see. You're making fun of me.
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- Oh, Dad, no. We would never.
- What? No. Uh-uh.
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Black coffee, please, miss.
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Aw, Beef,
you really came by to support me.
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Love the name. [laughs] Scone Moose.
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It's like Lone Moose,
but a scone is a food that you sell here.
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Look at you nailing it.
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You know, I'm headed to the boat
to meet Honeybee and Wolf.
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So throw in two more large coffees
and four chocolate croissants.
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Wolf always needs two
or he says the other hand gets jealous.
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And I'll be back tomorrow for more, okay?
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I'd love to see you tomorrow.
But promise me you'll actually come in?
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Well, I've never hung out inside
a cool coffee shop like this before
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since I'm not actor Ethan Hawke,
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but you have my word.
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Hey, Cheesecake. How you holding up?
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Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.
I'm so seasick.
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{\an8}Huh. That's a little worrisome
since we haven't even left shore.
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{\an8}- Yeah.
- Uh, y-you know what, Cheesecake?
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Uh, me and Honeybee are
actually gonna help you get a job
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right here in Lone Moose.
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- We are?
- Yep.
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Honeybee, I can't let my best friend
get beheaded by an icy net.
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That is, like,
the first rule of friendship.
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All right. I guess I can help
get him signed up at a temp agency.
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Thank you. This is incredible.
153
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I just need a brand-new job before Friday.
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That's when I'm supposed to ship out.
155
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Ooh, is being Spider-Man a job?
He seems to have fun.
156
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Okay. I'm gonna role-play with Wolf
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so you can see
exactly how to act at an interview.
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You have three set up for this afternoon
through that temp service I found.
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So, focus.
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Honeybee, what would you say
your greatest strength is?
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My greatest strength, mmm,
is I'm a problem solver.
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Now, see, this is where you brag about
what you're good at. Don't hold back.
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I'd say my greatest strength is
that you can throw anything at me
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and I won't flinch.
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Throw that stapler at me.
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I don't want to throw a stapler at you.
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And what would you say
is your biggest weakness?
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I would say that my biggest weakness is
that I'm too invested in my work.
169
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This is where you pretend
to be too good at something,
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and it isn't really a flaw.
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Oh, that's easy.
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My biggest weakness is
that I drink too much.
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Uh, well, yeah. What you do at home is--
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Oh, no, no, no. I drink at work too.
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You want one?
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00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,507
And it's always good
to ask them a few questions too.
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00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,217
Do I have questions?
178
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:09,053
Uh, yeah. Do you think
I'd look good with bangs?
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Be honest.
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00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,722
I actually have to wrap this up.
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Do it! Do it, you coward!
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Throw that stapler!
183
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,980
Okay. One plain bran muffin
and one black coffee
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for this absolute wild man.
185
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:22,692
So, now what should I do?
186
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,236
Sit down and people-watch.
187
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:28,739
Is there someone suspicious you want me
to keep an eye on specifically?
188
00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:31,909
Holy Christmas. You are overthinking this,
you big red weirdo.
189
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,787
Hey, man, can you keep an eye
on my laptop for me
190
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:35,872
while I'm in the bathroom?
191
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,373
Sir, you have my word.
192
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,500
No harm shall come to your machine.
193
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:40,710
Not on my watch.
194
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,128
Uh, okay.
195
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,173
She's safe, my friend.
196
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:46,924
All right. Uh, thanks again, man.
197
00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:48,301
It was my honor.
198
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,053
We have bonded over a shared moral code
199
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:54,974
and now the day may come
for him to watch my lap computer.
200
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,435
Well, that was a bust.
201
00:07:57,435 --> 00:08:00,480
Oh, let's face it. I'm a party guy,
not an office guy.
202
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,941
All right. Well, I'll talk to Dad tonight
about adding a room onto the cabin,
203
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:06,360
so you can live here
since you didn't get any offers.
204
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,362
Oh, no, I got an offer
from the pretzel place,
205
00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:10,156
but you never wanna take
the first one, right?
206
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,283
- Oh, my God.
- Call them. Call them back.
207
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:15,203
Yep. Sure, I could start tomorrow.
Sounds good.
208
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,038
I have a job.
209
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,373
Should we go out
and get very, very drunk to celebrate?
210
00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:21,000
Cheesecake, now that you've got the job,
211
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,211
you gotta make choices
that'll help you keep the job.
212
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,087
Smart, Honeybee. I'll wanna be fresh.
213
00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:26,547
So let's just get drunk here.
214
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:27,924
Ooh, curaçao!
215
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,300
Cheesecake, that's Windex!
216
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,427
Ah, how is he gonna get through
a whole day of work?
217
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:33,304
It's too bad
you can't really "Ratatouille" him.
218
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,890
Honeybee! Maybe we can.
219
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,100
But we're gonna need a few more rats.
220
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,519
Namely my siblings.
221
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,355
I hate this idea
and I don't even know what it is yet.
222
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,941
It is Windex. You were right.
223
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,486
Okay, earpiece is in.
Come in, team Cheese.
224
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,488
- Do you copy?
- Loud and clear.
225
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,031
Uh-oh. Boss lady ahoy.
226
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,616
Cheesecake, great to see you again.
227
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,244
Plenty more where that came from.
If you know what I mean.
228
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:57,370
Wink. Wink.
229
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,247
- Oh, boy.
- He's just warming up.
230
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,916
So, as I mentioned,
this is a temporary position
231
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,417
but it could become full time.
232
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:04,794
This is your desk.
233
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,045
Oh!
234
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,838
He never comes out here.
235
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:11,926
This is the CEO of Alaska Pretzels,
Mr. Slimsac.
236
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,178
Uh, Mr. Slimsac, this is Cheesecake.
237
00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:15,805
He's our new receptionist.
238
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:18,516
Don't steal. Don't snoop.
Don't call the health department.
239
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,600
Wouldn't dream of it.
240
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,143
Not that I'm dreaming about you.
241
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:22,228
Not-Not that that's bad.
242
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,064
I'm sure plenty of people dream about you.
And I can see why.
243
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,190
Sure.
244
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:30,486
Okay. Well, once you're settled,
please make collated copies of these.
245
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:31,571
You got it.
246
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,657
Okay, I was panicking.
I did not hear a word she said.
247
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:37,410
Guys, 911. The lady asked me
to do something.
248
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,996
Hold tight. Okay, guys,
Cheesecake needs our help.
249
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,414
This is what we're here for.
250
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,292
Not me. I'm just here
'cause I passed out in the van.
251
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,419
And we're just here
'cause we got to skip school.
252
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,795
Technically not skipping.
253
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:49,755
I told Principal Gibbons
that Aunt Dirt died.
254
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:50,840
You wish.
255
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,842
And you're still paying us
20 bucks each, right?
256
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,052
- I said ten.
- Oh, shall I call Dad then?
257
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,679
Aren't you supposed to be on the boat?
258
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:57,763
Fine. Twenty.
259
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:58,848
- Thirty.
- Okay.
260
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:02,059
I only agreed to do this to solve
the Cheesecake problem once and for all.
261
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,144
So let's go.
262
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,605
Okay, Cheesecake, what do you remember
about the instructions?
263
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:09,233
Oh, God. I think she said
either the word "copy" or "coffee."
264
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:10,818
Cheesecake, this is Ham.
265
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:13,112
- Ham, I'm scared.
- It's gonna be okay.
266
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:15,865
Now, do you see either papers
or a coffee maker?
267
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,325
That could be a big clue.
268
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:20,369
- Yes, there's a stack of papers here.
- That's real good, bud.
269
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:21,954
I think she wants you to make copies.
270
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:23,831
Let's head on over to the copy machine.
271
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:27,335
Uh-oh, a lot of machines in here, guys.
272
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,086
- Judy, we need your eyes here.
- On it.
273
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,590
Judy just texted you a photo.
274
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,550
Find the thing that looks like that.
275
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,135
Uh-- I got it! I got it!
276
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,513
Okay. Headed over. Just gonna grab
a little sip of water.
277
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,437
Oh, no. Oh, God, I swallowed my earpiece.
278
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:47,772
Uh-oh, we're losing signal.
279
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:50,650
We're losing signal. Cheesecake, no.
280
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:56,572
Oh, look who's back.
Is it our second date, Beef?
281
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:58,115
Oh, uh.
282
00:10:58,115 --> 00:11:00,576
- I-- Uh...
- I'm just kidding.
283
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:04,330
Sorry. The cruise ships are here today,
so I am trying to keep it fun.
284
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,791
Hi, welcome to Scone Moose.
285
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,668
Hi. We just got off the cruise ship,
286
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,420
and we couldn't help but notice him
through the window.
287
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:14,173
Are we allowed to talk
to your Alaskan man?
288
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:17,468
Who? Beef? Yes, he's not an exhibit.
289
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:20,262
Beef? Wow. What a rugged name.
290
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:22,139
Oh, he's so authentic.
291
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:24,558
He is, right? And really nice.
292
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:27,853
The kind of guy who would take time
out of his day to come support you.
293
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:31,440
Not like your stupid ex who watched reruns
of Grace Under Fire all day
294
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,484
and told you your dreams were dumb.
295
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:34,860
Oh, uh, I guess.
296
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:38,364
And handsome, like,
in a way, like, you didn't notice before.
297
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,783
But now suddenly you're, like, "Maybe."
298
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,451
Uh, what does he order?
299
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,787
He usually just gets a coffee
and a muffin.
300
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,956
Ooh. Okay. Yes, we'll take that.
301
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:51,043
Oh, and also a few croissants
and he loves those key chains.
302
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,628
Yeah, he puts them on all of his axes.
303
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,422
Oh, we need those.
304
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,507
Oh, and he loves mugs.
305
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:57,842
This is the kind he uses.
306
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,677
Only, uh, $30.
307
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,387
Uh-huh, we'll take two.
308
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,181
- Okay.
- Oh, your hand.
309
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:06,392
It's like if leather was sandpaper.
310
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,685
Hi. Hello. Hi.
311
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:09,687
I'm here from Silicon Valley on a cruise,
312
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,397
and I would love
to take a picture with you.
313
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,648
Uh, sure.
314
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,525
Okay. Here we go. But don't do kissy lips.
315
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:15,651
That's my thing.
316
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,154
Beefcake, you're a hit.
317
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:21,365
You sitting in the window
is like a lure for cruise ship tourists.
318
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:22,950
That's a fishing reference.
You're welcome.
319
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,160
And the people love it.
320
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,370
- I love it.
- You, uh, love it?
321
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:29,373
Yeah. Yeah. Like, as a friend
who loves their friend,
322
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:30,916
who's making them money.
323
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,001
Of course, yes.
324
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:35,212
Can you lean even more
into the Alaskan man thing a little bit?
325
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,757
Like, tell people
a-about a bear you fought
326
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,217
and how you, like, respected him
and he respected you.
327
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:42,178
Both of those things are true.
328
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,347
Cheesecake, it's me, Honeybee.
329
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:48,726
I'm not really a delivery person.
Something in this box is gonna help you.
330
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,312
So please focus
because I need my life back.
331
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,396
Sign here.
332
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,902
Okay, the box is gonna help me.
333
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:01,822
So I just look at it, or,
oh, maybe I burn it?
334
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:03,115
No!
- Moon?
335
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,200
Don't call me Moon.
336
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,869
For the rest of the day,
I'm a normal everyday office plant.
337
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,704
I'll sit right by your desk and guide you.
338
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:11,290
Okay, we have eyes and ears again, people.
339
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,125
Uh-oh. We've got boss.
340
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,627
You there, uh, temp.
341
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,253
Can you email me the marketing report?
342
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:17,671
Uh, uh-huh. Email.
343
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:19,840
I love it and I've used it before.
344
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,592
Whoo! Great response.
345
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,011
All right, good.
I gotta get back on the floor.
346
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:25,846
Guess there's some "poison"
in the dough today.
347
00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:27,973
So, another nightmare for me.
348
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:30,309
Okay. Email.
349
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,478
Let's begin by turning on the computer.
350
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:37,107
Well, Beef, this has been
my best day at the shop since I opened.
351
00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:40,569
You know, I can keep coming back
every day if you want.
352
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:41,821
But what about your boat?
353
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,489
Oh, the boat? Pfft.
354
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,324
Boat. What boat? Pfft.
355
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:46,742
Beef, come on.
356
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:49,078
Okay. Yes, I care about my boat intensely.
357
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,247
My son has been captaining it
for a few days,
358
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,832
but I am filled with jealousy
359
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,626
and having nightmares
that the boat is calling him dad.
360
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:58,462
Ha! You are a deeply weird man,
and I enjoy it.
361
00:13:58,462 --> 00:14:01,966
But, Beef, fishing is your actual job.
You've got to get back to it.
362
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,760
Also, how much cash have you spent here
these last two days?
363
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,888
Oh, not much. Just $197.
364
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:11,183
Beef, I can't let you keep doing that,
as much as I would love to.
365
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,560
And I would love to too.
366
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,727
But how about this?
367
00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:15,354
I come back and sit in your window
368
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,690
every two weeks
when the cruise ships dock.
369
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:23,112
Perfect. And if you miss me too much
in between, you can take me out to dinner?
370
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:26,657
Because it turns out I like it
when you spend money on me.
371
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,659
I'm very greedy, very shallow.
372
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,703
Sure. I'm also very shallow.
373
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:34,748
I like eating dinner with gorgeous model
types who own their own businesses.
374
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:38,085
Okay. That was almost, like, smooth.
Are you feeling okay?
375
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:41,589
Are you sick?
Oh, I am definitely feeling okay.
376
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,007
Hi. Excuse me.
377
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,968
Could I just snip a little piece
of your beard for my scrapbook?
378
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:50,055
As long as you also order
whatever the hell a cold brew is,
379
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,432
be my guest.
380
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,976
All right. Good first day today.
381
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:57,897
You did all the jobs and more importantly,
you didn't call OSHA about stuff you saw,
382
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,106
like the last temp.
383
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:02,067
Oh, and that weird new plant
you brought really livens the place up.
384
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,446
Thank you. It's my friend's brother's.
385
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:08,866
You know, we've been trying
to fill this position for a while
386
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,659
and, well, you are acceptable.
387
00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:13,162
So if you want,
we can make this a full-time job.
388
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,706
- We did it!
- Oh, my God. We did it!
389
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:18,584
All right, Wolf, you saved Cheesecake.
Take a bow.
390
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:23,672
I will take this whole crew out to dinner
at Maude's and the cheesecake's on me.
391
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:26,175
- Babe, no.
- Babe, yes.
392
00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:31,096
All right, guys.
Cheesecake's out celebrating,
393
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,806
so this is the perfect time for us
394
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:35,184
to strategize and tighten up
our game for tomorrow.
395
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,602
- Tomorrow?
- Oh, sorry.
396
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:37,937
The day after today.
397
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,939
I know what
the word "tomorrow" means, Wolf.
398
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,023
Let's start with Judy.
399
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,108
I'd love to see
a little more hustle, okay?
400
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:44,109
Um...
401
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,570
Aunt Dirt, maybe you could
actually help tomorrow.
402
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,072
Maybe not, hotshot.
403
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,156
Uh, okay.
404
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:50,449
Could you at least fart less?
405
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:51,617
Dream on, bitch.
406
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,577
Right. Moon, let's keep innovating.
407
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:56,538
Babe, you can't be serious.
You have done enough for your friend.
408
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:59,333
And we've missed enough time on the boat,
which is our actual job
409
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,168
while we're waiting
for our Shark Tank audition.
410
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:04,672
But no, we just got Cheesecake safe.
We can't stop now.
411
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,715
Guys, you mind if I talk to Wolf alone?
412
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,301
Sweetie, I'm glad it went well today.
413
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,345
And I'm glad
Cheesecake got a full-time job.
414
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,514
But for me,
the Cheesecake experiment is over.
415
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,307
But-- But Cheesecake needs us.
416
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:16,684
Do you not like him or something?
417
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,519
No, babe. I do like Cheesecake.
418
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,896
I just don't like
the effect he has on you sometimes.
419
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:24,024
I mean, you do everything for him
and he doesn't do anything for you.
420
00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:25,317
What is it with him?
421
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,736
It's just when you have a friend you made
when you were a kid,
422
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:28,862
they're like your family.
423
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:31,532
And when someone's family,
you protect them no matter what.
424
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:34,660
And he does do things for me.
He never forgets my birthday.
425
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,704
He bought me three lottery tickets
last month.
426
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:40,791
And also when I'm around him,
I can't be serious. I just relax.
427
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:43,043
He's like a human hot tub full of rum.
428
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:46,213
I know it's hard to understand,
but that's what he does for me.
429
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,589
I can't let him down now.
430
00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:49,341
But, babe, you are letting him down.
431
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:50,843
When you do everything for someone,
432
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,803
you're kind of not letting them grow
on their own.
433
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,013
It's called codependent, hon.
434
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,849
And I've seen enough Ben Affleck
relationships to know it does not work.
435
00:16:56,849 --> 00:17:00,227
I'm sorry, Honeybee, but I can't let
Cheesecake die on a crab boat.
436
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:02,271
So, you know,
I'll go it alone if I have to.
437
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:05,774
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I gotta go find our Die Hard DVD.
438
00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:09,111
Might pull a John McClane tomorrow
and help Cheesecake from the air ducts.
439
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:12,031
So, Cheesecake,
how's your afternoon going?
440
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,115
Um...
441
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,868
Hang on, buddy.
Fun banter coming right up.
442
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,077
Can't park in a red zone.
443
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,787
Move this hunk of junk before you lose it.
444
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:22,249
Hey, this is not a hunk of junk, but okay,
moving it before I'm losing it.
445
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:25,836
Hey, this is not a hunk of junk,
but I'm moving it before I'm losing it.
446
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:28,756
Wait, why did you just say that?
447
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:30,257
I didn't say anything.
448
00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:33,510
Why did I say that? Because it's my job.
Have you been drinking?
449
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:38,390
I have not been drinking, sir.
Well, not a lot.
450
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,267
Cheesecake, no!
451
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,732
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the hell was that?
452
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,192
You could have killed someone, buddy.
453
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,277
Yeah, geez, I really could have.
454
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:51,487
Step out of the car.
455
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:55,032
So now I have to go to court
and pay some fines
456
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:58,160
and the front of the van is messed up.
And you tried to warn me.
457
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,912
Mr. Bean's jeans! You were right.
458
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,081
Look, Wolf.
I don't wanna destroy your friendship.
459
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,707
In fact, I'm trying to help it.
460
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:07,002
If Cheesecake has to take a risky job
because of choices he made,
461
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:09,004
well, that's how people learn and grow.
462
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:12,216
And your friendship's gonna survive
better, if y'all grow together.
463
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,176
Like you said, he's basically family.
464
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,261
And family can make it
through stuff like this.
465
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:17,846
Yeah, I'll talk to him.
466
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,932
Okay, but when you do,
make sure he's really awake
467
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,392
and hasn't painted eyeballs
on his eyelids again.
468
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:23,685
Sleepcake.
469
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,604
Oh, my God. I love when he does that.
470
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,732
Hey, there he is. My old pal, Wolf.
471
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,067
Hey, what happened to you today?
472
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,736
Yeah-- About that,
we, uh, need to have a talk.
473
00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:35,614
Okay. Is it about me eating
that whole block of Velveeta
474
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:38,659
I found in the fridge that was labeled
"Honeybee's. Do not touch"?
475
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,244
- No.
- Good, because I didn't eat it
476
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,328
or get sick.
477
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:43,247
Course. L-Look, as you know,
478
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:45,249
I've been covering for you
our whole lives.
479
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:46,583
Hey, the system works.
480
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:48,836
But it's probably gotta stop.
481
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:52,089
You're like a brother to me
a-and also like a piñata
482
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,675
- a-and a hot tub filled with rum.
- Flattered.
483
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:58,387
And you've literally always been there
to cheer me up and keep me going.
484
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:02,057
But it might be time for you to learn
how to do things for yourself.
485
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:04,768
So you gotta go to work alone tomorrow.
486
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:05,853
I understand.
487
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,271
You do? You're not mad?
488
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,898
Like if I stop doing stuff for you,
we'll still be buds?
489
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:12,526
Of course. I don't expect you
to do stuff for me.
490
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,611
I mean, I like it
'cause I hate doing stuff,
491
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:17,614
but I'll be around no matter what
'cause we are bros.
492
00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:18,949
That's great news.
493
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:22,244
Now, how about we grab a bowl of gin
before we hit the sack?
494
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:25,539
Okay, but only one. I got work tomorrow.
495
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,708
Well, it's almost the end of the day.
496
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,502
I don't wanna jinx it,
but maybe he did okay on his own.
497
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,629
Hey, guys. Well, I got fired.
498
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:34,631
Oh, no. You did? What happened?
499
00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:37,426
I, sort of, accidentally shredded
a bunch of important papers
500
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:40,179
and then somehow also shredded
the shredder itself.
501
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,263
Mmm. That checks out.
502
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:42,598
But you won't believe this.
503
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:46,685
Right after I got fired, they told me
to get out immediately and I tried,
504
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,395
but I walked the wrong way,
505
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:49,897
wound up on the factory floor.
506
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:52,316
And right when I was like,
"Hey, this isn't the outdoors,"
507
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,276
I got snagged by this hook thing.
508
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:57,529
{\an8}And then I was briefly dipped into
the white chocolate pretzel coating vat,
509
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,948
- and I almost drowned.
- Oh, God.
510
00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:02,534
I tried eating my way out
but that only works in cartoons.
511
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:05,495
Then I blacked out and when I woke up,
I thought I was in heaven,
512
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,748
but I was in the back
of that pretzel boss's Camry.
513
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:08,916
He thought I was dead.
514
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:11,293
So he was pretty surprised
to see me sit up.
515
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,212
- But here's the best part.
- There's a "best part"?
516
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:16,256
Yep. Apparently there's a lot
of very unsafe stuff
517
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,467
going on down there that
they don't want people to know about.
518
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:21,511
And so when I woke up,
that boss guy yelled at me,
519
00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:25,974
but he also gave me 200 grand if I signed
something that said I wouldn't sue them.
520
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,476
Cheesecake, that's incredible.
521
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:28,769
Let me see the check.
522
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,979
Okay. This is $20,000.
523
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:33,607
You have got to learn your numbers,
a-and I'll help you.
524
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:34,816
- Wolf.
- Wait, no.
525
00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:37,152
You can learn numbers on your own.
526
00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:39,321
But you really did it all by yourself.
527
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,530
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
528
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:43,325
Your head is gonna stay right here
where it belongs
529
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,993
on your neck in Lone Moose.
530
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:46,995
Yeah, I guess you kinda did it.
531
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:50,040
All right. Let's hit the bar.
Drinks are on me.
532
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,502
And by me, I mean, you, because it's gonna
take some time for this check to clear.
533
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:54,920
We haven't even had dinner yet.
534
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,129
Then we'd better get over there.
535
00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:59,007
We gotta put down a base of alcohol
to absorb the food.
536
00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:00,842
Ah, what the hell, let's do it.
537
00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:02,803
{\an8}♪ I am the watcher ♪
♪ The watcher ♪
538
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:05,639
{\an8}♪ The watcher of the laptop
For a man named Todd ♪
539
00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:08,517
{\an8}- ♪ I am the protector ♪
- ♪ Protector ♪
540
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:12,229
{\an8}♪ Of his screenplay
About a sex dragon who's a God ♪
541
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:17,192
{\an8}♪ Todd is free now
Knowing that his laptop's with me ♪
542
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:22,948
{\an8}♪ He doesn't worry about computer thieves
As he takes a nice long pee ♪
543
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:25,242
{\an8}♪ I am the watcher ♪
♪ The watcher ♪
544
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,953
{\an8}♪ The watcher of the laptop
For a man named Todd ♪
545
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,080
{\an8}♪ Don't ask me for his password
Or I'll kick your ass, word ♪
546
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,874
{\an8}♪ I'm a laptop watching god ♪