1 00:00:01,570 --> 00:00:04,610 - ♪ Look up there ♪ - ♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,610 --> 00:00:06,045 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:06,145 --> 00:00:07,816 - ♪ Like a rock ♪ - ♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,916 --> 00:00:10,220 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,828 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:13,928 --> 00:00:15,030 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:15,030 --> 00:00:16,667 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:17,836 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:17,969 --> 00:00:21,242 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:21,242 --> 00:00:22,879 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:24,249 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:24,349 --> 00:00:25,852 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:25,952 --> 00:00:29,793 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:35,270 --> 00:00:38,143 Ham, I love that you made my pancake into a little face, 15 00:00:38,143 --> 00:00:39,378 but I regret to inform you 16 00:00:39,378 --> 00:00:42,051 that now I simply cannot eat Gerard. 17 00:00:42,051 --> 00:00:43,621 Gonna have a tough life in Alaska 18 00:00:43,721 --> 00:00:45,390 if you can't bring yourself to eat a friend, doll. 19 00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:48,463 Hmm. Okay, how about a piece of my practice flan instead? 20 00:00:48,463 --> 00:00:51,971 Dad ate most of them yesterday, but there's a few left. 21 00:00:52,071 --> 00:00:53,841 Figures. For centuries, men have been eating 22 00:00:53,941 --> 00:00:55,712 more than their fair share of the flan. 23 00:00:55,712 --> 00:00:57,114 Preach. Pigs. 24 00:00:57,114 --> 00:00:58,818 My brother's gonna be a celebrity 25 00:00:58,918 --> 00:01:02,024 for making the flan for a real, professional restaurant. 26 00:01:02,124 --> 00:01:03,994 You must feel like the non-famous Hemsworth 27 00:01:03,994 --> 00:01:05,665 - right about now, huh? - Yep. 28 00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:07,368 Invisible but proud. 29 00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:08,871 Which menu will your flan be on? 30 00:01:08,971 --> 00:01:10,541 Regular, kids or seniors? 31 00:01:10,641 --> 00:01:12,244 All three, baby. Ooh-la-la. 32 00:01:12,244 --> 00:01:14,148 Holy hot dogs, Ham. 33 00:01:14,249 --> 00:01:15,685 Hey, where's Dad? 34 00:01:15,785 --> 00:01:17,889 He usually only takes a three-and-a-half-minute shower, 35 00:01:17,889 --> 00:01:20,127 but he's been in there 14 minutes now. 36 00:01:20,227 --> 00:01:22,131 Hmm. I mean, he's probably just way in the zone. 37 00:01:22,231 --> 00:01:24,468 Getting all those papa nooks and dad crannies. 38 00:01:24,569 --> 00:01:26,239 Wolf, how many times do I have to ask you 39 00:01:26,239 --> 00:01:27,609 not to say "dad crannies"? 40 00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,045 Many more, probably. 41 00:01:29,178 --> 00:01:30,046 Gah! 42 00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:31,149 Was that Dad? 43 00:01:32,586 --> 00:01:34,355 Dad, you okay in there? 44 00:01:34,455 --> 00:01:36,760 Perfect. 45 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,196 Oh. Uh... Whoops. 46 00:01:38,297 --> 00:01:39,265 Closing the door. 47 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,769 Uh, but, Dad... 48 00:01:40,769 --> 00:01:41,737 sounds like you're in pain? 49 00:01:41,737 --> 00:01:42,973 I am fine, son. 50 00:01:44,042 --> 00:01:46,680 Just having a little pain in my midsection. 51 00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:48,585 And chest. And back. 52 00:01:48,585 --> 00:01:50,087 - Chest? - And back. 53 00:01:50,087 --> 00:01:51,890 Probably just pulled some muscles. 54 00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:53,026 You want me to, uh... 55 00:01:53,026 --> 00:01:54,597 come in and get your towel for you? 56 00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:57,636 No, thank you, son. I shall use nature's towel-- 57 00:01:57,736 --> 00:01:58,904 standing here. 58 00:01:58,904 --> 00:02:00,641 Hey, Dad. 59 00:02:00,641 --> 00:02:02,579 - You doing okay? - Do not worry, Ham. 60 00:02:02,679 --> 00:02:04,983 Just pulled a few muscles in the shower. 61 00:02:05,117 --> 00:02:08,390 Makes perfect sense, but may I also suggest you see a doctor? 62 00:02:08,390 --> 00:02:11,797 Nonsense. I'll go see the magical glacial water pipe 63 00:02:11,797 --> 00:02:14,536 in Death Cliff today and drink its healing waters. 64 00:02:14,536 --> 00:02:17,375 Mother Pipe? Dad, that's a very cool legend, 65 00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:21,149 but maybe we see a real doctor instead of a leaky metal tube. 66 00:02:21,149 --> 00:02:22,150 No, thank you. 67 00:02:22,150 --> 00:02:22,985 Now, if you'll excuse me, 68 00:02:22,985 --> 00:02:25,424 I better get ready for my journey. 69 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,631 Mmm, that's good. 70 00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:30,701 Oop. Dad butt! 71 00:02:30,801 --> 00:02:32,338 Good thinking, towel. 72 00:02:32,438 --> 00:02:34,441 I am perfectly dry. 73 00:02:35,711 --> 00:02:37,882 Huh. So the crooked butt crack runs in the family. 74 00:02:37,982 --> 00:02:40,755 - Oh, yeah. - Uh-huh. - My poops come out in a curlicue 75 00:02:40,755 --> 00:02:42,391 like soft-serve ice cream. 76 00:02:42,491 --> 00:02:43,928 Well, it was great to see you, veronica. 77 00:02:44,028 --> 00:02:46,199 We can't let two years go by again. 78 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,103 I was relieved when you reached out to me. 79 00:02:48,103 --> 00:02:50,307 Funny story-- I thought you were dead. 80 00:02:50,307 --> 00:02:51,710 - Really? - Uh, yeah. 81 00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:53,514 Everyone in Fresno said you followed some guy 82 00:02:53,514 --> 00:02:55,184 into the wilderness. 83 00:02:55,184 --> 00:02:56,954 I've seen Dateline, Honeybee. 84 00:02:57,088 --> 00:02:58,356 I know how those stories end. 85 00:02:58,356 --> 00:03:00,160 Uh, I didn't just follow a guy. 86 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,363 I fell in love. 87 00:03:01,463 --> 00:03:03,601 Is someone making you say that right now? 88 00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,504 Blink three times if yes. 89 00:03:05,604 --> 00:03:07,474 - I just got married and moved away. - Okay, 90 00:03:07,576 --> 00:03:11,717 it's just... If anything, a guy should be following you. 91 00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:13,019 Oh, crap, I got to go. 92 00:03:13,119 --> 00:03:15,357 My neighbor's kid is looking through my window again. 93 00:03:15,357 --> 00:03:16,861 Get out of here, Hans! 94 00:03:16,861 --> 00:03:20,000 Bye, Honeybee. Don't lose yourself up there. 95 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,002 Whatever, Veronica. 96 00:03:21,002 --> 00:03:22,304 I didn't follow a guy. 97 00:03:22,404 --> 00:03:24,509 I'm a leader. In fact, I'm gonna lead myself 98 00:03:24,509 --> 00:03:25,779 on a walk around the property. 99 00:03:25,879 --> 00:03:27,415 And because I want to, not because it's one 100 00:03:27,516 --> 00:03:30,487 of the only things you can do around this place. 101 00:03:32,090 --> 00:03:33,460 Okay. 102 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:34,061 Oh... 103 00:03:34,161 --> 00:03:35,798 There she is, Mother Pipe. 104 00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,970 Alaska's doctor. 105 00:03:37,970 --> 00:03:39,639 Sweet mountain nectar. 106 00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,284 Ah. 107 00:03:45,284 --> 00:03:46,485 Thank you, dear Mother. 108 00:03:46,485 --> 00:03:49,258 I have suckled and been made whole. 109 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:54,068 Better go have one more sip 110 00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,172 to heal these fresh wounds. 111 00:03:59,513 --> 00:04:01,717 I mean, who does Veronica think she is? 112 00:04:01,717 --> 00:04:03,554 So what if I moved up here for a guy? 113 00:04:03,655 --> 00:04:04,990 What, I should have stayed in Fresno, 114 00:04:04,990 --> 00:04:06,125 working at the curtain store? 115 00:04:06,125 --> 00:04:07,896 My dad playing Steely Dan all day? 116 00:04:07,896 --> 00:04:09,866 Ooh. What in the... 117 00:04:09,866 --> 00:04:11,302 "Wife"? 118 00:04:11,302 --> 00:04:13,006 That's all they put on this lady's grave? 119 00:04:13,106 --> 00:04:14,208 No name? 120 00:04:14,308 --> 00:04:15,778 Well, maybe there's something on the back. 121 00:04:15,878 --> 00:04:17,214 Mm, nope. 122 00:04:17,314 --> 00:04:18,049 You poor girl. 123 00:04:18,149 --> 00:04:19,586 You got to be more than just "Wife." 124 00:04:19,686 --> 00:04:20,955 I got to get to the bottom of this. 125 00:04:20,955 --> 00:04:23,159 All right, Wife, you wait right here, which... 126 00:04:23,159 --> 00:04:24,897 you have to, 'cause you're dead. 127 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,566 Uh, I-I'll be right back. 128 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:29,305 Thanks for taking me by the grocery store. 129 00:04:29,405 --> 00:04:32,211 I still can't believe you can buy a fully cooked chicken 130 00:04:32,211 --> 00:04:33,647 every single day. 131 00:04:33,747 --> 00:04:35,183 Mmm. Good. 132 00:04:35,284 --> 00:04:37,856 And they did not skimp on the bones. 133 00:04:37,856 --> 00:04:39,158 Oh, hey, kids. 134 00:04:39,258 --> 00:04:40,694 Your dad went to suck on that drainage pipe 135 00:04:40,694 --> 00:04:43,499 or whatever it is, so he sent us to get you. 136 00:04:44,703 --> 00:04:47,307 So, guys, have you seen this grave out in the woods 137 00:04:47,407 --> 00:04:48,911 - that's just labeled "Wife"? - Yep. 138 00:04:48,911 --> 00:04:51,650 I have that grave marked on my cemetery map of Lone Moose 139 00:04:51,650 --> 00:04:53,688 for when the zombie apocalypse starts. 140 00:04:53,688 --> 00:04:55,692 Hell if Wife is gonna eat my brain. 141 00:04:55,692 --> 00:04:57,094 Well, she's eating my brain already, 142 00:04:57,227 --> 00:04:58,430 'cause she's all I can think about. 143 00:04:58,430 --> 00:05:00,502 That poor woman is just lying out there 144 00:05:00,502 --> 00:05:01,837 in a hole marked "Wife." 145 00:05:01,837 --> 00:05:03,206 Not even a name. 146 00:05:03,306 --> 00:05:04,709 I've seen that grave, like, a million times 147 00:05:04,843 --> 00:05:06,980 and just kind of shrugged it off as vintage sexism, 148 00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:09,586 but, yeah, no one deserves to just be thrown in a hole 149 00:05:09,586 --> 00:05:11,456 and labeled with the W-word. 150 00:05:11,557 --> 00:05:13,827 Unless the W-word is "Wassup." 151 00:05:13,827 --> 00:05:15,865 Can you even imagine that on a grave? 152 00:05:15,865 --> 00:05:17,636 I think I'm gonna do a little research 153 00:05:17,736 --> 00:05:19,105 and find out who this woman was. 154 00:05:19,105 --> 00:05:20,808 Maybe I can share her accomplishments with the world. 155 00:05:20,908 --> 00:05:23,079 - Oh, I'm in. - Let's dig up her secrets. 156 00:05:23,179 --> 00:05:25,250 And maybe her jewelry. 157 00:05:27,154 --> 00:05:28,323 Ow. 158 00:05:28,423 --> 00:05:29,225 Hey, Dad. 159 00:05:29,325 --> 00:05:31,496 That's a pretty fun noise you're making. 160 00:05:31,496 --> 00:05:34,736 Mm, you aren't by any chance still in pain, are you, Father? 161 00:05:34,736 --> 00:05:36,707 Mm, nope. I suckled the pipe, 162 00:05:36,707 --> 00:05:40,949 and her nectars are at this very moment coating my insides 163 00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:42,451 in a thick layer of health. 164 00:05:42,451 --> 00:05:45,123 Good, 'cause my flan reveal is at lunch tomorrow, 165 00:05:45,224 --> 00:05:47,762 and I need you at full eating strength. 166 00:05:47,863 --> 00:05:49,566 Oh, hey. Slippity Dips is starting. 167 00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,001 In our first slippity clip, 168 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,172 a mailman named Floyd makes a... 169 00:05:53,273 --> 00:05:55,077 Floyd-ian slip. 170 00:05:57,147 --> 00:06:00,253 - Oh... uh, Dad? - Dad, we really should get you to the doctor. 171 00:06:00,353 --> 00:06:01,455 Like, now. 172 00:06:01,455 --> 00:06:02,558 Nonsense. 173 00:06:02,558 --> 00:06:03,594 In this next slip, 174 00:06:03,694 --> 00:06:05,798 a child falls in a ravine. 175 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,001 In a funny way. 176 00:06:07,001 --> 00:06:08,504 Ow! 177 00:06:12,444 --> 00:06:14,883 Guys, I'm hella worried about Dad. 178 00:06:14,883 --> 00:06:15,885 I googled his symptoms, 179 00:06:15,885 --> 00:06:17,655 and it could be anything from muscle spasm 180 00:06:17,755 --> 00:06:20,795 to a heart attack to something called "haunted pancreas." 181 00:06:20,795 --> 00:06:22,599 I'm worried, too, but it's impossible 182 00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,167 to get that man to a doctor. 183 00:06:24,167 --> 00:06:26,439 Remember when one of his feet faced the wrong way 184 00:06:26,439 --> 00:06:27,441 for, like, a year? 185 00:06:27,441 --> 00:06:28,910 Of course. I had to tie the boot 186 00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,748 on the backwards one every morning. 187 00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,552 But this isn't gonna be like that, 188 00:06:32,552 --> 00:06:33,888 because I have a plan. 189 00:06:33,988 --> 00:06:36,292 It's not just giving him compliments, is it? 190 00:06:36,292 --> 00:06:38,063 Yeah, there'll be a little of that, sure. 191 00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:39,332 But here's what we do: 192 00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:41,904 we give him the doctor exam sneaky-style, 193 00:06:42,004 --> 00:06:42,905 right here at home. 194 00:06:42,905 --> 00:06:44,910 Fun. Dibs on nodding reassuringly 195 00:06:44,910 --> 00:06:46,580 while listening through a stethoscope. 196 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,619 Okay, Operation HPV is a go-- 197 00:06:49,719 --> 00:06:52,057 Heal Papa Victoriously. 198 00:06:52,157 --> 00:06:54,028 Love the plan, hate the name. 199 00:06:54,128 --> 00:06:55,330 All right, hands in. 200 00:06:55,430 --> 00:06:56,700 H-P... 201 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,436 Oh, it's just gonna be me? 202 00:06:58,436 --> 00:06:59,806 Fine. V! 203 00:07:03,179 --> 00:07:05,952 Okay, here he comes. Time to get into our dad's body. 204 00:07:05,952 --> 00:07:07,755 Oh, my God. It's like you've never heard 205 00:07:07,855 --> 00:07:09,158 a word you've said. 206 00:07:09,158 --> 00:07:11,495 Mm, mm, mm-hmm. 207 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:12,866 Mm. 208 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,503 Oh. Hello, Father. 209 00:07:14,603 --> 00:07:15,972 How was work this morning? 210 00:07:16,072 --> 00:07:17,074 Good haul? 211 00:07:17,074 --> 00:07:19,011 - Kill a lot of fish? - Mm-hmm. 212 00:07:19,011 --> 00:07:20,213 Cool, cool. 213 00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:22,619 And, uh, brisk wind out on the sea? 214 00:07:22,719 --> 00:07:24,455 Any difficulty breathing? 215 00:07:24,455 --> 00:07:25,490 The breathing was... 216 00:07:25,625 --> 00:07:27,328 great. 217 00:07:27,328 --> 00:07:28,396 Oh, Dad, uh, 218 00:07:28,396 --> 00:07:30,066 just, uh, wondering, 219 00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:31,335 when you hauled the fish in, 220 00:07:31,469 --> 00:07:33,541 which of these faces did you feel like? 221 00:07:33,641 --> 00:07:35,878 None. Those guys are all hotter than me. 222 00:07:35,878 --> 00:07:36,947 Uh, okay... 223 00:07:37,815 --> 00:07:39,686 Guys, I've got a big problem. 224 00:07:39,686 --> 00:07:41,389 I have a project for science class, 225 00:07:41,389 --> 00:07:43,694 and the topic is older men's urine. 226 00:07:43,694 --> 00:07:45,363 I remember that unit. 227 00:07:45,363 --> 00:07:48,069 But I forgot to collect an older man's pee. 228 00:07:48,169 --> 00:07:49,271 Damn it. 229 00:07:49,371 --> 00:07:50,908 Guess I'll just fail. 230 00:07:50,908 --> 00:07:51,944 That sucks. 231 00:07:52,044 --> 00:07:53,312 Unless... 232 00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:56,586 Dad, could you pee in this cup and then write your name on it? 233 00:07:56,586 --> 00:07:59,024 And then seal it? And then write today's date? 234 00:07:59,124 --> 00:08:00,260 And then give it back to me? 235 00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:01,797 I'll surely get an A. 236 00:08:01,897 --> 00:08:04,502 Yeah, with Dad's pee in your pocket, you can't lose. 237 00:08:04,636 --> 00:08:07,474 Gentlemen, I was not birthed yesterday. 238 00:08:07,575 --> 00:08:09,912 I see that you three are trying to give me 239 00:08:10,013 --> 00:08:12,819 some kind of at-home doctor's exam. 240 00:08:12,819 --> 00:08:16,192 Geez, Dad, all we asked for was a little bit of pee 241 00:08:16,192 --> 00:08:18,163 and suddenly we lose all trust? 242 00:08:18,263 --> 00:08:19,431 Son, cut it out. 243 00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,368 My body is private, even to myself. 244 00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:24,742 That's why there's a curtain around it called "my skin." 245 00:08:24,742 --> 00:08:27,114 - But, Dad, you really should-- - Put your "but, Dad" 246 00:08:27,248 --> 00:08:28,350 in your butt, son. 247 00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:30,119 Can no one hear themselves? 248 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:32,424 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to head back 249 00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,295 to Mother Pipe for another sip. 250 00:08:34,295 --> 00:08:37,635 But, Dad, my flan debuts at the restaurant today at lunch. 251 00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:39,138 You promised to go. 252 00:08:39,138 --> 00:08:40,775 I'll meet you there at noo... 253 00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:44,615 ...oon. 254 00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:49,826 Should we just take his pee by force? 255 00:08:49,826 --> 00:08:51,963 Damn it. If we can't get Dad to a doctor, 256 00:08:51,963 --> 00:08:53,834 maybe we can get a doctor to Dad. 257 00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:57,776 Yep. One way or another, we have got to push those D's together. 258 00:08:57,776 --> 00:08:59,579 Okay, now I'm doing it. 259 00:08:59,579 --> 00:09:01,917 All right, we know that Wife's grave 260 00:09:02,017 --> 00:09:03,252 is from 1888. 261 00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:05,591 And it says here that some very unprepared British settlers 262 00:09:05,591 --> 00:09:07,662 came here to join some other European idiots 263 00:09:07,662 --> 00:09:08,798 around that time. 264 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,400 Yeah, dumb white people 265 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,304 was definitely the early Lone Moose vibe. 266 00:09:12,304 --> 00:09:15,110 Ugh, but she could be any of these smoking '80s babes. 267 00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:17,013 How do I match a face with a grave? 268 00:09:17,013 --> 00:09:18,584 Well, maybe we should just give up 269 00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:21,389 and go over to Ham's big flan menu reveal? 270 00:09:21,489 --> 00:09:24,763 I mean, maybe one of these gals wasn't as dumb as the others. 271 00:09:24,763 --> 00:09:27,902 Maybe she was actually a big-city girl from London 272 00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,772 and her name was something like... 273 00:09:29,872 --> 00:09:31,242 Persephogenia Lumpnobble. 274 00:09:31,375 --> 00:09:33,681 And she was an associate professor of squalor studies 275 00:09:33,681 --> 00:09:35,049 who'd come to do research. 276 00:09:35,049 --> 00:09:36,085 Now, back then, 277 00:09:36,085 --> 00:09:37,688 most of the dumb European settlers 278 00:09:37,688 --> 00:09:40,393 lived in holes in a big old mud and poop lake. 279 00:09:40,493 --> 00:09:42,532 Mm, such wonderful squalor. 280 00:09:42,632 --> 00:09:45,771 It's wall-to-wall squall around here. 281 00:09:45,872 --> 00:09:47,642 They weren't used to strangers in Lone Moose, 282 00:09:47,742 --> 00:09:50,648 so this beauty stood out like a ravishing thumb. 283 00:09:50,748 --> 00:09:52,852 And then a squalid but handsome gentleman 284 00:09:52,852 --> 00:09:54,956 extended his dirty hand to her. 285 00:09:55,056 --> 00:09:56,659 Wa-wa-wee-wa. 286 00:09:56,759 --> 00:09:58,029 Pardon me, ma'am. I can tell 287 00:09:58,029 --> 00:09:59,498 by how little dirt you have in your teeth 288 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,168 that you're not from around here. 289 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:03,740 Might I take you on a tour of our nasty neighborhood? 290 00:10:03,740 --> 00:10:05,778 This is our pile of dead animals. 291 00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:07,916 This is our pile of dead people. 292 00:10:07,916 --> 00:10:09,686 And this is our playground. 293 00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:13,660 I have an idea that could change things for all of you. 294 00:10:13,761 --> 00:10:15,898 It's a reverse hole above the ground, 295 00:10:15,898 --> 00:10:17,768 and we call it "a house." 296 00:10:17,768 --> 00:10:19,171 And maybe 297 00:10:19,271 --> 00:10:21,676 Persephogenia taught all the dum-dums about houses 298 00:10:21,676 --> 00:10:23,581 and they stopped living in holes. 299 00:10:23,681 --> 00:10:25,183 And she was about to return to London 300 00:10:25,183 --> 00:10:27,187 when the townie did something super romantic. 301 00:10:27,187 --> 00:10:29,759 Miss Clean Lady, I want you to have this. 302 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,665 It's a hideous corn husk doll I made for you. 303 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:35,269 Ma'am, mightn't we become betrothed in wedlock 304 00:10:35,269 --> 00:10:38,042 and grow to the ripe old age of 35 together? 305 00:10:38,042 --> 00:10:39,277 And she said yes. 306 00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:40,648 And then one day they went 307 00:10:40,748 --> 00:10:42,851 to a beaver corpse baseball game, and... 308 00:10:42,952 --> 00:10:45,023 - Aah! - ...she died. 309 00:10:45,023 --> 00:10:47,094 And because the nasty Townie never learned her name, 310 00:10:47,094 --> 00:10:48,864 he paid a local child in tobacco 311 00:10:48,964 --> 00:10:50,868 to just chisel "Wife" on her headstone. 312 00:10:50,968 --> 00:10:52,872 And then, I guess, everyone forgot about her 313 00:10:52,972 --> 00:10:55,443 and her contributions, including her friend Veronica. 314 00:10:55,578 --> 00:10:56,847 Oof. Poor 315 00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:58,282 Persephogenia Lumpnobble. 316 00:10:58,382 --> 00:11:00,353 And poor us, 'cause we still don't have any answers. 317 00:11:00,353 --> 00:11:03,459 But I'm thinking maybe we should check the old census records 318 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:04,796 at the historical society. 319 00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:07,835 Oh, wow, I'm excited. You guys excited? 320 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,338 I'm just kidding. Let's go. 321 00:11:09,338 --> 00:11:11,475 Thanks for wearing the disguise, Dr. Callahan. 322 00:11:11,475 --> 00:11:14,281 It'll help us get you close enough to Dad to examine him. 323 00:11:14,381 --> 00:11:16,786 Sure. I mean, I mostly do this kind of thing for kids 324 00:11:16,786 --> 00:11:18,256 who are scared of the doctor. 325 00:11:18,256 --> 00:11:21,563 And also, pirate meetups, and once in my private life, 326 00:11:21,563 --> 00:11:22,999 - but I'm happy to help. - Great. 327 00:11:22,999 --> 00:11:24,636 We really don't want our dad to die. 328 00:11:24,636 --> 00:11:26,939 I'm not ready to be the Tobin patriarch yet. 329 00:11:26,939 --> 00:11:28,644 I don't even know when trash day is. 330 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:31,148 So, here's the plan: approach the table, 331 00:11:31,248 --> 00:11:32,785 claim to be a fellow sea captain-- 332 00:11:32,885 --> 00:11:35,256 which Dad'll love 'cause he's a real captain hound-- 333 00:11:35,356 --> 00:11:37,862 then give him a long hug and listen to his heart. 334 00:11:37,862 --> 00:11:40,968 Bada-bing, bada-boom, you diagnose our dad. 335 00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:42,805 What the... 336 00:11:43,807 --> 00:11:45,745 Hello, boys. 337 00:11:45,745 --> 00:11:47,013 Guess who's all better. 338 00:11:47,113 --> 00:11:49,285 For real this time, and I am not lying. 339 00:11:49,385 --> 00:11:52,525 Enter, and let us celebrate your brother's flan. 340 00:11:52,525 --> 00:11:56,131 Our father sucked upon a pipe and he hath been healed. 341 00:11:56,231 --> 00:11:57,868 Hallelujah. 342 00:12:01,743 --> 00:12:03,780 So, you really feel all better? 343 00:12:03,914 --> 00:12:05,984 Yep. Pardon me for starting without you, 344 00:12:05,984 --> 00:12:08,523 but I haven't been able to eat much the past few days. 345 00:12:08,623 --> 00:12:12,397 My fettuccine Alfredo levels had gotten dangerously low. 346 00:12:12,497 --> 00:12:14,367 So, you have, like, no pain 347 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,005 - at all? - Nope. 348 00:12:16,105 --> 00:12:18,844 Hello there, friends. I'm a ship's captain 349 00:12:18,844 --> 00:12:22,384 blowing through town with me, uh, cargo. 350 00:12:22,518 --> 00:12:23,921 May I give you a hug? 351 00:12:24,021 --> 00:12:26,025 Hello, Dr. Callahan. 352 00:12:26,025 --> 00:12:28,664 Let me guess-- my boys asked you to come down here 353 00:12:28,764 --> 00:12:30,767 and sneakily give me a checkup? 354 00:12:30,868 --> 00:12:32,539 Argh, you caught me. 355 00:12:32,639 --> 00:12:34,007 They're worried about you, Beef. 356 00:12:34,107 --> 00:12:35,410 Actually, Doc, he feels all better. 357 00:12:35,410 --> 00:12:37,782 Okay, well, there are some serious conditions 358 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,084 that can come and go, 359 00:12:39,184 --> 00:12:40,453 - namely gall-- - Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup. 360 00:12:40,453 --> 00:12:43,627 This is a restaurant, not a medicine class. 361 00:12:43,627 --> 00:12:45,731 I'm here celebrate my son's success 362 00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:48,035 in the Lone Moose culinary scene. 363 00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,404 But the pain in your back and chest-- 364 00:12:49,404 --> 00:12:53,145 Uh-uh. Life is a mystery, and no spoilers, please. 365 00:12:53,145 --> 00:12:54,849 - Beef, but it could be-- - No. You know what? 366 00:12:54,949 --> 00:12:57,053 If you won't leave me alone, then I'll leave you alone. 367 00:12:57,153 --> 00:12:58,923 I'm gonna snow machine home. 368 00:12:58,923 --> 00:13:02,564 Come along, potato, I shall be devouring you on the way. 369 00:13:02,664 --> 00:13:05,069 But Dad, my flan! My big day. 370 00:13:05,069 --> 00:13:07,609 I love you, son. Bring me home a piece. 371 00:13:07,609 --> 00:13:10,380 Stupid doctor doesn't know what he's talking about. 372 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,283 Nothing wrong with me. I've never felt better. 373 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,722 Aah! My heart! 374 00:13:14,722 --> 00:13:17,126 Aah! My potato! 375 00:13:17,126 --> 00:13:19,131 Aah! 376 00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,368 Can't move. 377 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,007 I'm so sorry, potato. 378 00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,611 Huh, maybe 379 00:13:25,611 --> 00:13:26,980 this is something. Says here 380 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,217 there was a log-rolling competition in 1888, 381 00:13:29,317 --> 00:13:30,988 but only men were allowed to enter. 382 00:13:31,088 --> 00:13:32,424 That's something I'll never say. 383 00:13:32,424 --> 00:13:34,361 Still, you got to wonder, what if there was one woman 384 00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:36,566 who did try to enter? Let's say she married a man 385 00:13:36,666 --> 00:13:39,539 who worked at the mill. And maybe this lady was gifted 386 00:13:39,539 --> 00:13:42,110 with log-rolling abilities. See, this wife had been born 387 00:13:42,210 --> 00:13:44,314 on a log in the middle of the Mighty Mississipp, 388 00:13:44,414 --> 00:13:45,551 and she could spin 389 00:13:45,651 --> 00:13:47,755 that wily wood like she was hanging a drape. 390 00:13:47,755 --> 00:13:49,425 And she was so talented, it caught on, 391 00:13:49,526 --> 00:13:51,863 and everybody in Lone Moose wanted to learn 392 00:13:51,963 --> 00:13:53,567 and be just like her. 393 00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:56,471 It became so popular, they decided to have a competition. 394 00:13:56,471 --> 00:13:58,376 But wouldn't you know it, they made a rule that women 395 00:13:58,376 --> 00:14:00,213 couldn't compete, even though this wife 396 00:14:00,213 --> 00:14:01,482 started the whole damn thing. 397 00:14:01,482 --> 00:14:02,585 So she taught her husband 398 00:14:02,585 --> 00:14:04,254 everything she knew, and he won. 399 00:14:04,254 --> 00:14:07,795 And then people started saying he taught her to log-roll. 400 00:14:07,795 --> 00:14:09,331 And of course he took credit for it, 401 00:14:09,331 --> 00:14:11,101 'cause taking credit for stuff is fun. 402 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:13,005 Wife decided to prove herself by getting out there 403 00:14:13,005 --> 00:14:15,443 on the river, and she was absolutely incredible. 404 00:14:15,577 --> 00:14:19,017 But then, a big wave washed her out to sea. 405 00:14:19,017 --> 00:14:22,691 And she danced on that log for months, waiting for help. 406 00:14:22,792 --> 00:14:24,461 And then, sadly, she got run over 407 00:14:24,562 --> 00:14:26,766 - Aah! - by the Titanic, and she died. 408 00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,804 Man, that Titanic couldn't do anything right. 409 00:14:28,804 --> 00:14:31,141 And her husband felt so bad about stealing 410 00:14:31,275 --> 00:14:32,578 her log-thunder, he couldn't bear 411 00:14:32,578 --> 00:14:34,615 to even see her beautiful name, so he put "Wife" 412 00:14:34,615 --> 00:14:38,389 on her grave and then he exploded from grief. 413 00:14:39,024 --> 00:14:41,328 And with him died the last memory of her, 414 00:14:41,428 --> 00:14:43,901 even though she was an absolute boss. 415 00:14:44,034 --> 00:14:46,138 That's clearly what happened. Let's go eat. 416 00:14:46,138 --> 00:14:49,945 Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and flan to my mouth. 417 00:14:50,046 --> 00:14:52,952 Dust. Sawdust. The old Lone Moose Mill. 418 00:14:52,952 --> 00:14:54,956 We should go over there and check the employee records. 419 00:14:54,956 --> 00:14:57,227 Oh, right. Almost everyone and their child 420 00:14:57,327 --> 00:14:58,897 worked at the mill back in the day. 421 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,499 Not me. I was foreman at the quarry 422 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:01,970 all through middle school. 423 00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:04,508 Ten cents more an hour and all the gravel you could eat. 424 00:15:07,748 --> 00:15:08,851 Missing... 425 00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:11,254 ooh, precious... 426 00:15:11,254 --> 00:15:13,259 m-moments. 427 00:15:13,259 --> 00:15:14,862 Dying. 428 00:15:14,862 --> 00:15:16,265 Ooh, ooh, my phone. 429 00:15:17,702 --> 00:15:19,805 Ooh. Must crawl. 430 00:15:22,377 --> 00:15:24,849 No, no. Decline. Damn it. 431 00:15:24,949 --> 00:15:26,519 - No. - Hey, it's me, Londra. 432 00:15:26,619 --> 00:15:28,590 Okay, so Beef, you're not gonna believe this. 433 00:15:28,590 --> 00:15:30,894 - Nuh... - Dusty and I were in Anchorage this morning, 434 00:15:30,995 --> 00:15:32,497 food shopping for her birthday dinner, 435 00:15:32,497 --> 00:15:34,568 and the Anchorage Food Otter has watermelons. 436 00:15:34,568 --> 00:15:37,106 Oh... - No, that's not the crazy part. 437 00:15:37,106 --> 00:15:40,914 We cut the watermelon open, and inside? A set of keys! 438 00:15:40,914 --> 00:15:42,985 Oh... 439 00:15:43,085 --> 00:15:44,923 - Londra... - Oh, my God, Beef, 440 00:15:44,923 --> 00:15:47,427 Dusty found a Bratz doll in there, too. 441 00:15:47,528 --> 00:15:48,897 I'd love to chat more, 442 00:15:48,997 --> 00:15:51,636 but I got a lot more people to call. Bye! 443 00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:58,082 Uh-oh. 444 00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:01,021 Hello, anyone? Am I... 445 00:16:01,121 --> 00:16:02,524 Oh, it's you. Hey, Dennis. 446 00:16:02,624 --> 00:16:03,760 Oh, you remembered my name. 447 00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:05,430 Yes, it's me. Your heart. 448 00:16:05,430 --> 00:16:06,566 Wassup? 449 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,504 Oh, God. If you're here, you're gonna tell me 450 00:16:08,504 --> 00:16:10,040 something's wrong with my heart, right? 451 00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:11,510 That's why I've been having the chest pain? 452 00:16:11,610 --> 00:16:13,413 What? I'm offended. I'm in incredible shape. 453 00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:16,351 I'm a heart and yet, somehow, I have abs. 454 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:17,889 - Wow. - Yeah, your lifestyle 455 00:16:17,989 --> 00:16:19,892 of constant physical activity, heavy meats 456 00:16:19,892 --> 00:16:22,063 and relentless stress keeps me very strong. 457 00:16:22,163 --> 00:16:24,735 Good to know, but what is wrong with me? 458 00:16:24,735 --> 00:16:26,973 I have been in a lot of pain. 459 00:16:26,973 --> 00:16:29,010 I can't diagnose you. A doctor should do that. 460 00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:31,448 Which is why I'm here. I want to know why on Earth 461 00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:33,920 you won't go see a flipping' doctor, my man. 462 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,591 I... I'm afraid. 463 00:16:35,591 --> 00:16:37,360 'Cause what if it's something really bad 464 00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:40,166 and then I die and leave the kids behind? 465 00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:41,903 Wait, what? We die? 466 00:16:42,003 --> 00:16:45,009 Yes, I'll die someday, and you'll die with me. 467 00:16:45,009 --> 00:16:46,546 What the hell, man? This ends?! 468 00:16:46,646 --> 00:16:48,683 The brain didn't say anything about that to me. 469 00:16:48,683 --> 00:16:50,420 Sorry. I-I assumed you knew. 470 00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:53,058 Uh, no, I did not know. I'm just a heart, man. 471 00:16:53,058 --> 00:16:55,496 - I can't think on my own. - Apologies again. 472 00:16:55,496 --> 00:16:57,200 But yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. 473 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,471 That I'll see the doctor and he'll say I'm about to die, 474 00:16:59,572 --> 00:17:01,007 and then I'll have to live a little longer 475 00:17:01,007 --> 00:17:02,878 knowing I'm gonna leave these amazing kids 476 00:17:02,878 --> 00:17:05,884 and all the weird things they do that I love so much behind. 477 00:17:05,884 --> 00:17:09,792 Also, trees and rocks and mountains and Andie MacDowell? 478 00:17:09,792 --> 00:17:12,898 God, there's so much good stuff here, I don't want to leave. 479 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,267 Well, then, what are you doing, man? 480 00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:15,503 Go to a doctor now. 481 00:17:15,604 --> 00:17:17,507 - You're right, I should save us. - Yes. 482 00:17:17,608 --> 00:17:19,077 If I don't do the thing I'm afraid of 483 00:17:19,177 --> 00:17:21,649 then the thing I'm really afraid of will happen. 484 00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:23,019 Yes, let's not die. 485 00:17:23,019 --> 00:17:24,589 We have so much to look forward to. 486 00:17:24,689 --> 00:17:27,026 I have a date with a teacher from Ohio on Thursday. 487 00:17:27,026 --> 00:17:28,730 - Wait, how? - Well, I met her... 488 00:17:28,730 --> 00:17:32,103 Ugh, no time. Good God, Beef, do something now. 489 00:17:32,103 --> 00:17:34,575 Okay, okay. I will. 490 00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:39,985 Boys! Dr. Callahan! 491 00:17:40,085 --> 00:17:41,455 Is that Dad? 492 00:17:41,455 --> 00:17:43,493 I need help! 493 00:17:43,594 --> 00:17:47,868 Pull back my body curtain and look inside. 494 00:17:49,204 --> 00:17:50,574 Hi. 495 00:17:50,574 --> 00:17:52,243 We were wondering if you had employment records 496 00:17:52,343 --> 00:17:55,283 - from the 1880s. - I'm sorry, the mill has burned down 497 00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:56,920 and been rebuilt since then. 498 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,357 - 47 times. - Damn it! 499 00:18:00,159 --> 00:18:01,729 Well, Honeybee, 500 00:18:01,829 --> 00:18:03,132 you did all you could. 501 00:18:03,265 --> 00:18:05,671 Maybe it's just time to let a sleeping corpse lie. 502 00:18:05,671 --> 00:18:07,306 No, we can't give up. 503 00:18:07,406 --> 00:18:09,377 Why is this bothering you so much? 504 00:18:09,377 --> 00:18:10,848 I just... I mean, what if this lady 505 00:18:10,948 --> 00:18:12,283 came all the way from Fresno? 506 00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:14,120 You know, 'cause she fell in love with a guy she met 507 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,826 in an 1800s Morse code chat room or, uh, something, 508 00:18:16,826 --> 00:18:20,634 and it seemed like a good idea but then she... she just died. 509 00:18:20,734 --> 00:18:22,404 And then everybody forgot who she was. 510 00:18:22,404 --> 00:18:23,873 - The end. - Okay, Honeybee, wait, 511 00:18:23,873 --> 00:18:26,879 you don't think you're like this dead lady, do you? 512 00:18:26,979 --> 00:18:29,384 Maybe. Ugh. My dumb friend Veronica 513 00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:32,825 said I gave up my life and followed a guy to Alaska. 514 00:18:32,825 --> 00:18:34,762 Am I just a wife? 515 00:18:34,762 --> 00:18:35,997 Honeybee, come on. 516 00:18:35,997 --> 00:18:37,568 You're already a legend in Lone Moose. 517 00:18:37,668 --> 00:18:39,572 You've been mayor, you got attacked by an eagle, 518 00:18:39,572 --> 00:18:41,408 you got in a slap fight with a drifter. 519 00:18:41,408 --> 00:18:44,414 If anything, Wolf should be afraid he's gonna end up 520 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,718 in a grave just marked "Husband." 521 00:18:45,818 --> 00:18:48,155 And you should make sure he does, as a goof. 522 00:18:48,255 --> 00:18:50,025 Poor Wife. I guess the least we can do 523 00:18:50,025 --> 00:18:51,395 is lay some flowers on her grave. 524 00:18:51,395 --> 00:18:53,499 And a pepperoni pizza. 525 00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:54,535 I mean, sure? 526 00:18:54,535 --> 00:18:56,539 Have you had a pepperoni pizza before? 527 00:18:56,539 --> 00:19:00,179 They're amazing. It's a beautiful gesture. 528 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,820 There you go, Wife. Enjoy your pizza. 529 00:19:03,921 --> 00:19:05,757 Wait, what's that? 530 00:19:05,757 --> 00:19:08,028 "Bartholomew Wife"? 531 00:19:08,028 --> 00:19:10,133 Hold up. "Wife" is a last name? 532 00:19:10,133 --> 00:19:13,038 "Manifred Wife, pronounced, 'Wee-Fay,' 533 00:19:13,038 --> 00:19:15,142 "was also known as Manifred the Maniac. 534 00:19:15,142 --> 00:19:17,714 "Manifred Wife was a prolific murderer 535 00:19:17,714 --> 00:19:20,587 who killed 17 people including her husband Bartholomew." 536 00:19:20,587 --> 00:19:23,192 - Whoa. - So, she wasn't just a wife. 537 00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:24,962 Good for you. 538 00:19:25,062 --> 00:19:26,331 My gallbladder, huh? 539 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:29,170 Yep. You got some pretty sizable stones in there. 540 00:19:29,304 --> 00:19:30,472 Hell yeah he does. 541 00:19:30,472 --> 00:19:32,644 Dad's 'blad makes some sick stones. 542 00:19:32,644 --> 00:19:34,648 The pain can come and go with eating, 543 00:19:34,648 --> 00:19:37,588 but we'll remove it today and you're as free as a bird. 544 00:19:37,588 --> 00:19:39,758 I have my Lil Preppers surgery badge, Doc. 545 00:19:39,758 --> 00:19:41,094 I can scrub in if needed. 546 00:19:41,194 --> 00:19:42,798 Won't be necessary for this one, Moon. 547 00:19:42,898 --> 00:19:45,003 But I do have a spinal surgery on Thursday 548 00:19:45,103 --> 00:19:46,438 I wouldn't mind a consult on. 549 00:19:46,438 --> 00:19:49,477 Uh, I'll have to move some things around, but I'm in. 550 00:19:49,578 --> 00:19:51,849 Dad, we're real proud of you for finally asking for help 551 00:19:51,849 --> 00:19:54,120 from a doctor who isn't a pipe on a hill. 552 00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:55,891 And, uh, maybe you could, uh, do it again-- 553 00:19:55,991 --> 00:19:58,128 the seeing a doctor thing-- 'cause of how we want you 554 00:19:58,228 --> 00:19:59,364 to be alive? 555 00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:02,269 - Sorry to be pushy. - No, Ham, you're right. 556 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:05,410 I promise, from now on, I'll get an annual physical, 557 00:20:05,511 --> 00:20:07,714 every five to six years or so. 558 00:20:07,814 --> 00:20:08,950 That's a start. 559 00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:10,988 Vaya con dad-os, gallbladder. 560 00:20:11,088 --> 00:20:13,960 You're gonna be all right. 561 00:20:14,962 --> 00:20:16,031 What the hell? 562 00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,002 You all have gravestones already? 563 00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:19,705 Yes, a few years ago, I got a deal 564 00:20:19,705 --> 00:20:23,078 on some granite and, uh, well, one thing led to another. 565 00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:26,385 Speaking of which... Honeybee, a little bird named Judy told me 566 00:20:26,485 --> 00:20:28,923 that you were kind of worried about ending up like old Wife, 567 00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:32,497 which inspired me to get you this stone stunner. 568 00:20:32,497 --> 00:20:33,800 You picked a death year? 569 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,970 You'll be 220 years old, so it's cool. 570 00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:38,408 And it also has all kinds of facts about you on it, 571 00:20:38,543 --> 00:20:41,381 like that you're a Shrek-thusiast, an entrepreneur. 572 00:20:41,481 --> 00:20:43,553 Plus, lots of space to add anything else as it comes along. 573 00:20:43,553 --> 00:20:46,391 Like if you suddenly get super into Dave Matthews Band. 574 00:20:46,391 --> 00:20:48,129 Wolf, this is deeply unsettling. 575 00:20:48,229 --> 00:20:49,999 But also kind of touching, I guess. 576 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:51,802 All right, enough grave-gazing. 577 00:20:51,802 --> 00:20:54,541 Let's head in for dinner. Now that my G-blad is out, 578 00:20:54,541 --> 00:20:56,178 fatty foods are my friend again, 579 00:20:56,278 --> 00:20:58,516 and I made my famous five-butters casserole. 580 00:20:58,516 --> 00:21:00,587 Dibs on a corner piece. 581 00:21:00,687 --> 00:21:02,992 ♪ Hey, there, lady, sitting and pouting ♪ 582 00:21:02,992 --> 00:21:05,196 ♪ Hey, there, woman, just a-sitting and a-doubting ♪ 583 00:21:05,196 --> 00:21:07,233 ♪ I think you're perfect within and without and hey ♪ 584 00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:09,137 ♪ Get onto my log ♪ 585 00:21:09,137 --> 00:21:13,179 ♪ Oh, when we're on the log, our worries cannot find us ♪ 586 00:21:13,179 --> 00:21:17,520 ♪ A stump beneath our feet, the past so far behind us ♪ 587 00:21:17,621 --> 00:21:20,026 ♪ Spinning down the river, footloose and fancy-free ♪ 588 00:21:20,026 --> 00:21:22,163 ♪ Am I the log or is she me? ♪ 589 00:21:22,163 --> 00:21:23,833 ♪ Birch or elm, maple or sycamore ♪ 590 00:21:23,933 --> 00:21:26,538 ♪ I like to hop on with a gal or two or four ♪ 591 00:21:26,538 --> 00:21:28,543 ♪ Let's take our log to Paris or the Jersey Shore ♪ 592 00:21:28,543 --> 00:21:30,981 ♪ Hey, get onto my log. ♪ 593 00:21:32,785 --> 00:21:34,989 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 594 00:21:34,989 --> 00:21:36,491 and TOYOTA.