1 00:00:01,894 --> 00:00:04,319 -♪ Look up there ♪ -♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,413 --> 00:00:05,912 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:06,065 --> 00:00:07,172 -♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,399 --> 00:00:10,009 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,236 --> 00:00:13,737 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:13,830 --> 00:00:14,905 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:14,998 --> 00:00:16,573 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:16,592 --> 00:00:17,665 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,169 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:22,670 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:22,839 --> 00:00:24,097 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:25,599 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:25,768 --> 00:00:29,528 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,348 (cheering) 15 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:37,110 Good morning, my jagged little imaginary best friend. 16 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,871 Oh, good. We're up. 17 00:00:39,098 --> 00:00:40,597 Well, I barely slept 18 00:00:40,616 --> 00:00:42,708 because today is the first... (vocalizing) 19 00:00:42,935 --> 00:00:45,285 ...Sisters Day for me and Honeybee. 20 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,603 Oh, yes, I love girls-only events. 21 00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:48,530 When I went to Lilith Fair I got so high 22 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,216 off the female energy that I jumped off the scaffolding. 23 00:00:51,368 --> 00:00:53,277 Luckily, Sarah McLachlan caught me. (laughs) 24 00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:55,128 Talk about the arms of an angel. 25 00:00:55,281 --> 00:00:57,114 Yeah, this house and, uh, frankly, 26 00:00:57,132 --> 00:00:59,541 all of the gorgeous state of Alaska, can be a bit 27 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,619 of a frankfurter fiesta, so Honeybee and I decided 28 00:01:02,712 --> 00:01:04,712 to just get out on our own one Saturday a month. 29 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,882 We'll be like, uh, ye women of olde who probably, 30 00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,976 you know, like, churned butter together? 31 00:01:10,129 --> 00:01:12,220 You got Honeybee to agree to churn butter? 32 00:01:12,314 --> 00:01:13,405 I modernized it a bit. 33 00:01:13,632 --> 00:01:15,557 For our first Sisters Day activity, 34 00:01:15,651 --> 00:01:17,225 I selected the annual 35 00:01:17,394 --> 00:01:18,985 Phoenix Phlying Feminist Retreat. 36 00:01:19,138 --> 00:01:20,320 I can't believe we got tickets. 37 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,747 They are very hard to come by because 38 00:01:21,898 --> 00:01:23,140 Phoenix, the leader and legend, 39 00:01:23,233 --> 00:01:24,750 does her famous care stare. 40 00:01:24,977 --> 00:01:26,109 Uh, care stare? 41 00:01:26,161 --> 00:01:27,235 Yep, Phoenix comes out on stage, 42 00:01:27,329 --> 00:01:28,662 and then she stares at each 43 00:01:28,814 --> 00:01:31,256 participant one by one and you feel truly seen. 44 00:01:31,408 --> 00:01:33,592 -And she just stares? Huh. -Uh-huh. 45 00:01:33,743 --> 00:01:35,986 The treats are deep in the Alaskan woods. 46 00:01:36,079 --> 00:01:37,671 Moon tried to give me a wilderness survival kit, 47 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,489 but I told him, "No way, man. 48 00:01:39,508 --> 00:01:41,341 "If we need anything out there, we'll just help each other. 49 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,435 Like Alaskan sisters have always done." 50 00:01:43,662 --> 00:01:45,512 (sighs) I just know Phoenix is really gonna 51 00:01:45,664 --> 00:01:47,514 help Honeybee and I solidify our bond. 52 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,441 But you guys already have a great bond, right? 53 00:01:49,668 --> 00:01:51,944 Uh, I don't know. Honeybee's so much older than me and, like, 54 00:01:52,095 --> 00:01:53,670 a million times cooler, and we haven't spent 55 00:01:53,689 --> 00:01:55,614 that much time together, just the two of us. 56 00:01:55,841 --> 00:01:57,616 I think of her like a sister but I don't know 57 00:01:57,843 --> 00:01:59,192 if she feels that way about me. 58 00:01:59,345 --> 00:02:01,436 But if she doesn't, I'm sure this amazing retreat 59 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,679 will seal the deal. 60 00:02:02,698 --> 00:02:04,514 We're gonna be like the Hemsworth brothers, 61 00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:06,625 but as sisters. I'm Liam with a Chris rising. 62 00:02:06,776 --> 00:02:08,352 Oh. Alanis, stop talking, okay, all right? Okay! 63 00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:10,111 Ugh! I'm gonna be late. (chuckles) 64 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,038 WOLF: Welp, I dropped Judy and Honeybee off 65 00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:13,966 at the bus and now it's just us guys. 66 00:02:14,117 --> 00:02:15,968 What do we want to do for our Man's Day? 67 00:02:16,195 --> 00:02:17,861 Ooh, we could sharpen the blender blades. 68 00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:20,213 This morning's smoothie was a little coarse. 69 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,123 Or we can visit Whipple's Pickles. 70 00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:24,368 -Oh, hell yeah! -Yes! -Pickle me interested. 71 00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:26,036 We could ride on the pickle carousel 72 00:02:26,129 --> 00:02:27,587 and take our picture in the big pickle jar. 73 00:02:27,739 --> 00:02:29,873 Plus, my Dillon the Dill doll lost his eye 74 00:02:29,966 --> 00:02:31,391 so I got to take him there to get repaired. 75 00:02:31,543 --> 00:02:33,393 And I'm gonna eat the samples till I throw up. 76 00:02:33,545 --> 00:02:34,653 Just like I always do. 77 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:36,989 I'll grab a bunch of plastic bags for you, son. 78 00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:38,882 It's brine time, my freaks. 79 00:02:38,901 --> 00:02:40,717 It's sweet and sour power hour. 80 00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:42,828 I'm about to bring the thunder on some cucumbers. 81 00:02:42,979 --> 00:02:44,496 Pickle march, fall in. 82 00:02:44,648 --> 00:02:47,224 ALL: Whipples! Pickles! Whipples! 83 00:02:47,242 --> 00:02:48,500 -Pickles! -(doorbell rings) 84 00:02:48,652 --> 00:02:50,169 Pickle march, at ease. 85 00:02:50,396 --> 00:02:51,819 Is anyone expecting someone? 86 00:02:51,914 --> 00:02:53,413 Beef, honey! 87 00:02:53,565 --> 00:02:54,915 I'm home! 88 00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:56,175 Um. Hello. 89 00:02:56,402 --> 00:02:58,068 Sorry, can we... help you? 90 00:02:58,086 --> 00:03:01,346 Beef, it's me. Zelda Blop, from high school. 91 00:03:01,573 --> 00:03:03,740 Zelda? Oh. Zelda. 92 00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,091 Right. 93 00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:06,743 Uh, what brings you here? 94 00:03:06,836 --> 00:03:09,246 Are you coming from your wedding? 95 00:03:09,264 --> 00:03:11,839 Uh, no, I'm going to my wedding. 96 00:03:11,934 --> 00:03:14,100 Remember? We're getting married. 97 00:03:14,253 --> 00:03:17,345 -Us? -Oh, and these must be my stepsons. 98 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,680 Oh, gosh, you're big. 99 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,365 Boys, me and your dad did a pact in high school 100 00:03:20,517 --> 00:03:22,092 that if we weren't married by 40, 101 00:03:22,185 --> 00:03:23,276 we were gonna marry each other. 102 00:03:23,429 --> 00:03:25,520 And guess who turns 40 today? 103 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,021 -Happy birthday, Mother. -Moon. 104 00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:29,524 And thanks to public records, I know you're divorced, Beef. 105 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,284 So, since we're both single... 106 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,377 Great. 107 00:03:32,529 --> 00:03:34,438 Uh, boys, if you would please follow me 108 00:03:34,456 --> 00:03:36,456 to the attic to help me find something? 109 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,366 Is it a ring? Wait, don't tell me. 110 00:03:38,460 --> 00:03:40,110 I'm just gonna get familiar with our kitchen 111 00:03:40,128 --> 00:03:41,536 while you're gone. Aah! 112 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:42,629 Are you okay? 113 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,890 Yep. This happens all the time. 114 00:03:45,117 --> 00:03:47,041 You go on, you go. 115 00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:49,636 Dad, I know you and Miss Blop just got engaged, 116 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,138 but have you given any thought to your wedding cake? 117 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,066 Aw, Dad, you got to take her name. 118 00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:55,809 Imagine being named Beef Blop. 119 00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:57,569 And we'll be the Blop Boys! 120 00:03:57,721 --> 00:03:58,962 Yep, here she is. 121 00:03:59,055 --> 00:04:00,313 Zelda Blop. 122 00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:02,407 Now I remember her. She was always a bit... 123 00:04:02,559 --> 00:04:04,317 -Bonkers in the tonkers? -Indeed. 124 00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:06,394 And I did take her out in an effort 125 00:04:06,488 --> 00:04:08,305 to make your mom jealous. And I probably 126 00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:09,915 did agree to marry her when we were 40. 127 00:04:10,066 --> 00:04:13,326 I had a tendency to say yes to almost anything girls asked me 128 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,329 at the time, which is how I wound up a dad at 19. 129 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,665 -A rad dad. -With a rad son. 130 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,000 And then two more rad sons 131 00:04:20,152 --> 00:04:22,261 -and a rad daughter. -The Blop Boys. 132 00:04:22,488 --> 00:04:23,262 And Judy. 133 00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:24,429 J-Blop-a-doody. 134 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,157 Well, how bonkers were this lady's tonkers? 135 00:04:27,175 --> 00:04:29,601 Well, she ate a volleyball in gym class 136 00:04:29,828 --> 00:04:32,012 because she thought it was a giant marshmallow. 137 00:04:32,164 --> 00:04:33,830 But I did make a promise, 138 00:04:33,849 --> 00:04:35,348 so I suppose I should marry her. 139 00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:37,183 Dad, no. We'll just go downstairs, 140 00:04:37,352 --> 00:04:39,778 you gently decline the marriage, and we send her on her way. 141 00:04:39,929 --> 00:04:41,596 Mm. Simple. I like it. 142 00:04:41,673 --> 00:04:44,432 Pickle march resuming in T-Minus five minutes. 143 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,676 Cell phones please. They're taking our phones? 144 00:04:46,695 --> 00:04:48,678 But what if there's a celebrity break-up? 145 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:49,863 Mm, outside distractions 146 00:04:50,015 --> 00:04:51,439 prevent you from achieving the total 147 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,607 Phoenix Phlying experience. 148 00:04:52,701 --> 00:04:54,459 All right, if J-Lo and Ben break up again, 149 00:04:54,611 --> 00:04:56,353 I think I'll feel it in my bones anyway. 150 00:04:56,355 --> 00:04:57,779 When she surprise-dropped her new song 151 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,189 "I'm Having Wine Tonight," 152 00:04:59,282 --> 00:05:00,299 I woke up from a dead sleep. 153 00:05:00,526 --> 00:05:02,134 JUDY: (exclaims) I'm just so excited. 154 00:05:02,361 --> 00:05:03,951 -Are you so excited? -I mean, I'm kind of mad 155 00:05:04,046 --> 00:05:06,212 they took my phone, but I'm sure we'll have some fun. 156 00:05:06,365 --> 00:05:08,381 Oh, I just thought you'd be super jazzed 157 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,291 about the sisterhood and all that. 158 00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:12,719 Do you... not like this activity I picked? 159 00:05:12,871 --> 00:05:14,888 Oh, uh, it's just... um... 160 00:05:14,964 --> 00:05:16,890 I went to a lot of events like this 161 00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:18,558 for female entrepreneurs back in Fresno. 162 00:05:18,710 --> 00:05:20,560 From my experience, they're sometimes more 163 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,303 about helping themselves than helping the sisterhood. 164 00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:23,655 Plus, if there's a musical performance, 165 00:05:23,807 --> 00:05:25,565 there's always some white woman getting on another 166 00:05:25,717 --> 00:05:27,734 white woman's shoulders, swaying around and blocking your view. 167 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,403 Well, I think Phoenix is too amazing to be materialistic. 168 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,239 And if there's a musical performance I'll put you 169 00:05:33,392 --> 00:05:35,817 on my shoulders and we'll block some random white woman's view. 170 00:05:35,952 --> 00:05:37,652 Now we're talking. You know I love revenge. 171 00:05:37,746 --> 00:05:40,321 Okay, so do any of these activities here interest you? 172 00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:42,415 There's the Sisterhood of the Bedazzling pants booth 173 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,676 or the Thelma and Louise go-kart track? 174 00:05:44,903 --> 00:05:46,236 Uh, the patriarchy piñata? 175 00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:47,921 You know what, Judy? Let's do 'em all. 176 00:05:48,073 --> 00:05:49,589 ♪ Ladies doing some stuff ♪ 177 00:05:49,741 --> 00:05:51,499 ♪ No men here 'cause we've had enough ♪ 178 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,352 ♪ Bedazzling pants, getting empowered ♪ 179 00:05:53,503 --> 00:05:54,911 ♪ Tasty snacks getting straight devoured ♪ 180 00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:56,605 ♪ Ladies doing some stuff! ♪ 181 00:05:57,841 --> 00:05:59,583 There you are. Boys, I'd like you 182 00:05:59,601 --> 00:06:01,693 to meet your new stepbrothers, Alphonso and Ned. 183 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,770 But don't worry, you won't have to share your rooms. 184 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,589 They've been drafted into the army, 185 00:06:05,682 --> 00:06:07,273 and they're leaving soon to fight the aliens. 186 00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:08,441 Oh. Cool. 187 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,686 Dad, did you want to say something? 188 00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:12,871 Right. (clears throat) 189 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,356 Zelda, I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid 190 00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:18,268 that, simply put: I cannot marry you. 191 00:06:18,286 --> 00:06:20,286 Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 192 00:06:20,439 --> 00:06:22,288 And I spent so much money on this dress. 193 00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,049 I got a reverse mortgage for this. 194 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,366 And I sold an organ. 195 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:27,052 -What? -My mother's organ. 196 00:06:27,129 --> 00:06:29,170 She played in the church for years before she died. 197 00:06:29,281 --> 00:06:30,555 -Oh, God. -Yes. 198 00:06:30,707 --> 00:06:32,115 Dyed her hair bright blonde 199 00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:34,284 and became a real floozy, so the church kicked her out. 200 00:06:34,302 --> 00:06:35,894 Maybe you can save the dress 201 00:06:36,121 --> 00:06:38,045 till you do find someone to marry? 202 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,714 But Beef, I've tried. 203 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:40,899 Ugh. I know Alaska is up 204 00:06:41,126 --> 00:06:42,792 to its moose teats in men, but you know what 205 00:06:42,886 --> 00:06:46,238 they say: the odds are good, but the goods are odd. 206 00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:47,555 I dated this total gold digger, 207 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,315 and he dug up my yard looking for gold. 208 00:06:49,468 --> 00:06:51,076 And then I dated a knife salesman who chopped 209 00:06:51,227 --> 00:06:52,636 everything I own into little cubes. 210 00:06:52,729 --> 00:06:55,247 Oh, God, what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do? 211 00:06:55,474 --> 00:06:57,582 You don't like me, I'm bad. 212 00:06:57,809 --> 00:06:59,809 Please, uh, stand up. 213 00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:00,977 Oh, no, I can't. 214 00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:03,313 When I get upset, my bones stop working. 215 00:07:03,331 --> 00:07:04,923 I won't be able to get up till I feel better. 216 00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:07,984 Well, uh, I am sure you will feel better 217 00:07:08,003 --> 00:07:10,503 if I tell you I do like you, a lot. 218 00:07:10,656 --> 00:07:13,080 But I actually... just got remarried. 219 00:07:13,175 --> 00:07:15,082 To another woman. 220 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,845 -Dad... -And her name is... Shandor. 221 00:07:18,997 --> 00:07:19,846 Oh, where is she? 222 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,589 She's here. 223 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,366 No. Nope, she's out. 224 00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:25,335 She's a volunteer pet paramedic. 225 00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:27,595 And a cat nearby had a heart attack. 226 00:07:27,689 --> 00:07:29,614 Ugh, sounds like your wife is an angel, Beef. 227 00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:31,933 You know, meeting her is probably the only thing 228 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,843 that would make me feel better about this whole fiasco 229 00:07:33,862 --> 00:07:36,288 and help me start the healing process. 230 00:07:36,439 --> 00:07:38,698 Okay, yes. I'll introduce you. 231 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,700 -Dad. -Okay, I'll just lay here 232 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,276 and wait for her to get home. 233 00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:44,278 I need a break before making the nine-hour drive 234 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:45,689 back to Chickaloon anyway. 235 00:07:45,857 --> 00:07:47,949 Oh, Shandor also from Chickaloon. 236 00:07:48,043 --> 00:07:49,968 You're gonna have so much to talk about. 237 00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,220 -Dad, no more. -Yep. Got it. 238 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,625 Mmm, these empowerment empanadas are delicious. 239 00:07:57,719 --> 00:07:59,703 So, the food, the fun-- 240 00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:00,812 today's pretty great, right? 241 00:08:00,964 --> 00:08:02,222 I got to say, this place is legit. 242 00:08:02,374 --> 00:08:03,482 And not nearly the money grab 243 00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:05,466 -I thought it was gonna be. -Ooh, look. 244 00:08:05,544 --> 00:08:07,468 The sharing tent. Uh, should we check that out? 245 00:08:07,546 --> 00:08:09,488 Sure, but FYI, even if I have to share my feelings, 246 00:08:09,597 --> 00:08:11,715 I'm not sharing any of my her-chata. 247 00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:13,383 I don't care who's in there. 248 00:08:13,401 --> 00:08:15,902 -You guys first-timers, too? -Yep. I'm Judy. 249 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,937 And this is my sister-in-law, Honeybee. 250 00:08:18,089 --> 00:08:19,146 Hey. We're sisters, too. 251 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,406 I'm Paula, and this is Bev. 252 00:08:20,559 --> 00:08:22,149 We own the pawn shop over in Death Cliff, 253 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,169 We Like Your Junk. We're hoping getting stared at 254 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,578 by Phoenix will free our minds up 255 00:08:25,731 --> 00:08:27,247 to take our business to the next level. 256 00:08:27,399 --> 00:08:29,657 We're aiming big. We want to pawn the Hope Diamond. 257 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,660 Hello, everyone. Welcome to the She Said Sharing Shed. 258 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,588 Our prompt today is "a woman who lifts you up." 259 00:08:35,741 --> 00:08:38,517 I will now pass along the communication feather. 260 00:08:38,744 --> 00:08:40,668 Well, I'd say the woman who lifts me up 261 00:08:40,762 --> 00:08:42,078 is my sister Paula right here. 262 00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:43,855 She'd go through fire for me. And she has. 263 00:08:44,082 --> 00:08:45,749 I got stuck in a ring of fire when I got lost 264 00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:47,584 at the circus and she walked right through. 265 00:08:47,602 --> 00:08:49,252 Pulled me out and threw me into that little pool 266 00:08:49,345 --> 00:08:50,678 of water that the high diver dives into. 267 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,180 And Bev held my hand when I gave birth to my twins, 268 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,108 and then again 20 years later when they robbed us. 269 00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:58,185 Wow, I would also say the person who lifts me up 270 00:08:58,263 --> 00:08:59,779 is my sister, Honeybee. 271 00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:02,207 Well, my sister-in-law, but she is my sister. 272 00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:04,209 It's right there, in the name-- by law. 273 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:07,453 (laughing) I'm just... I jo... 274 00:09:07,606 --> 00:09:09,439 I'm sorry, I just love her so much. 275 00:09:09,532 --> 00:09:11,365 And now she's probably gonna say, 276 00:09:11,459 --> 00:09:13,777 like, something really amazing back to me. 277 00:09:13,795 --> 00:09:16,129 -So... Okay... -Oh, thanks Judy. 278 00:09:16,281 --> 00:09:19,299 Wow. As Patrick Swayze says in Ghost, "ditto." 279 00:09:19,451 --> 00:09:21,393 -Okay, here you go. -Oh. Cool. 280 00:09:21,544 --> 00:09:23,119 -(gong chimes) -The gathering gong. 281 00:09:23,212 --> 00:09:24,545 It's time for the staring. 282 00:09:24,639 --> 00:09:27,065 All right, let's go get looked at by some lady. 283 00:09:27,216 --> 00:09:29,383 Yeah. Yeah. Here I come. 284 00:09:29,461 --> 00:09:31,236 HAM: I don't want to be a Forlorn Franklin, 285 00:09:31,387 --> 00:09:34,464 but it really seems like Zelda isn't gonna get up off the floor 286 00:09:34,482 --> 00:09:36,557 until she meets the stepmom Dad invented. 287 00:09:36,651 --> 00:09:38,484 So she's never leaving and we're never getting 288 00:09:38,637 --> 00:09:40,728 -to Whipple's Pickles. -Not necessarily. 289 00:09:40,897 --> 00:09:42,322 All we need is someone who'll pretend 290 00:09:42,474 --> 00:09:44,324 to be married to Dad, meet Zelda, 291 00:09:44,476 --> 00:09:46,233 and then we send her on her way, no harm done. 292 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,811 Oh! We could call Alyson. 293 00:09:47,904 --> 00:09:49,312 Yeah. Okay, how about you guys 294 00:09:49,405 --> 00:09:51,314 get back in there and help Dad not be... 295 00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:53,091 like Dad, and I'll make the call. 296 00:09:53,318 --> 00:09:54,984 Four weddings and a fudgesicle. 297 00:09:55,003 --> 00:09:56,319 Voice mail. 298 00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:58,263 Hey, Alyson, it's Wolf. 299 00:09:58,414 --> 00:10:00,824 And that was the second time I got arrested 300 00:10:00,842 --> 00:10:01,841 at the governor's mansion. 301 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,509 Dad, may we see you in the kitchen? 302 00:10:03,662 --> 00:10:06,754 we have some questions about, uh... 303 00:10:06,848 --> 00:10:08,832 Money and sex. 304 00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:10,942 Hey, don't we all. (laughs) 305 00:10:11,094 --> 00:10:13,594 Don't. We. All. 306 00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:16,005 Dad, Wolf is trying to find a fake wife for you. 307 00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:17,357 He's calling Alyson. 308 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,933 -Okay, good plan. -What's the plan? 309 00:10:19,027 --> 00:10:21,027 -Aah! -Aah! -Aah! How did you get over here? 310 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,120 I slid. (laughs) 311 00:10:22,347 --> 00:10:23,938 What kind of plan are you talking about? 312 00:10:24,032 --> 00:10:25,957 Oh. A plan for my wife. 313 00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:28,109 She likes plans, hates surprises. 314 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,944 She startles very easily. 315 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,612 Like a-a bear. 316 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:33,948 Uh, because she is a bear... 317 00:10:34,025 --> 00:10:35,408 uh, researcher. 318 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,861 Uh, as well as a pet para-demic... 319 00:10:37,879 --> 00:10:39,787 pa... para-paramedic. (chuckles) 320 00:10:39,881 --> 00:10:41,364 Which is why 321 00:10:41,383 --> 00:10:44,717 she's in our room, hibernating like a bear. 322 00:10:44,870 --> 00:10:45,810 Dad, why? 323 00:10:46,037 --> 00:10:46,886 Oh! She came home? 324 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,480 Yeah, sure. Okay, yeah. 325 00:10:48,707 --> 00:10:50,631 Like Dad is saying, she did come home... 326 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,559 But she went right to her room. Dad's room. Their room. 327 00:10:53,712 --> 00:10:55,803 She didn't want to come in and say hi to you guys? 328 00:10:55,897 --> 00:10:57,972 Oh, I'm sure she wanted to, but... 329 00:10:58,066 --> 00:10:59,399 Well, as a bear... 330 00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:02,327 -Oh, my God. -researcher, she lives like a bear... 331 00:11:02,478 --> 00:11:04,404 -And, oh, my God. -for much of the year. 332 00:11:04,556 --> 00:11:06,998 Like I said, it's hibernation time. 333 00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:10,243 Oh, yeah. I-I forgot, because... I'm drunk. 334 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:13,396 Well, I'll just pop in and take a peek, very quietly. 335 00:11:13,489 --> 00:11:14,747 (all clamoring) 336 00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:16,900 My bones are feeling a little bit better. 337 00:11:16,918 --> 00:11:17,959 No, don't go now. 338 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,011 She has to prepare for her night job. 339 00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:22,755 As a long-distance chef... 340 00:11:22,832 --> 00:11:23,998 in Japan. 341 00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:25,850 Wow, a long-distance chef? 342 00:11:26,077 --> 00:11:28,002 I don't believe I know what that is. 343 00:11:28,096 --> 00:11:29,429 Have you seen Pacific Rim? 344 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,338 It's like that, but with robot arms 345 00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:32,749 at a restaurant in Tokyo. 346 00:11:32,918 --> 00:11:35,860 Everything you say about this woman makes it clearer 347 00:11:36,087 --> 00:11:38,254 and clearer how my Beef fell for her. 348 00:11:38,273 --> 00:11:39,864 I simply have to get a look. 349 00:11:40,016 --> 00:11:41,257 Oh, just, uh, give me 350 00:11:41,276 --> 00:11:42,850 and my, uh, little brothers a minute 351 00:11:42,944 --> 00:11:45,111 to, uh, you know, ease Mom into the fact that, uh, 352 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,431 she's about to meet the woman who almost married Dad. 353 00:11:48,524 --> 00:11:51,617 (short chuckle) And, uh, you and Dad, uh, just hang here. 354 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,044 So, um... 355 00:11:53,196 --> 00:11:55,939 do you keep in touch with anyone else from school? 356 00:11:55,941 --> 00:11:58,291 I heard Joey died. Do you ever talk to him? 357 00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,943 HONEYBEE: So, Judy, you excited? 358 00:11:59,961 --> 00:12:01,444 This is what you've been waiting for. 359 00:12:01,463 --> 00:12:03,037 You ready for this gal to, uh, 360 00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:04,538 get a creepy peepy of you? 361 00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:07,784 -Uh-huh. Yeah. -Judy, is something wrong? 362 00:12:07,786 --> 00:12:09,302 Oh, no. I mean, sort of. 363 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,045 -Please take one. -Hold on, what's this? 364 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,565 Phoenix will reveal all. Just take the cup and drink. 365 00:12:13,716 --> 00:12:15,141 Judy, uh-uh, don't drink that. 366 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,402 ANNOUNCER (over P.A.): Ladies, prepare to take flight. 367 00:12:17,629 --> 00:12:19,979 Please welcome to the stage the one and only 368 00:12:20,131 --> 00:12:21,981 Phoenix! 369 00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:23,074 (Phoenix vocalizing) 370 00:12:23,226 --> 00:12:24,467 JUDY: Wait. 371 00:12:24,486 --> 00:12:26,986 -Phoenix isn't a... -Huh, I... 372 00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:28,562 Hello, welcome. 373 00:12:28,656 --> 00:12:29,973 If you are a first-timer, 374 00:12:29,991 --> 00:12:31,624 you might be surprised to find out that, yes, 375 00:12:31,810 --> 00:12:33,977 I'm a cis hetero man, 376 00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:35,495 but, more importantly, 377 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,088 a cis hetero woke man. 378 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,716 -Dude, where's my shero? -Om... 379 00:12:42,578 --> 00:12:44,429 Now before we get started today, I wanted to share 380 00:12:44,506 --> 00:12:48,174 something very special. ♪ Goddess Milk ♪ 381 00:12:48,176 --> 00:12:50,009 A wellness elixir so amazing, 382 00:12:50,161 --> 00:12:51,603 it's like a care stare in your cup. 383 00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:54,922 And I can't wait for you to have a little me inside you. 384 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,183 -Mm-mmm. No sir. -It's such a great product 385 00:12:57,335 --> 00:12:58,926 you're gonna want to sell it, too. 386 00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:01,187 And the supply you purchase will fly off the shelf as you work 387 00:13:01,264 --> 00:13:03,339 your way up the sales charts from Mother's Little Helper 388 00:13:03,432 --> 00:13:05,174 to Level Six Creamy Dreamer. 389 00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:08,620 Yep, there it is. It's a multi-level marketing scheme. 390 00:13:08,771 --> 00:13:11,681 Oh, great choice of activity for Sister's Day, Judy. 391 00:13:11,699 --> 00:13:13,274 Oh, my God. No, no, no. 392 00:13:13,368 --> 00:13:15,351 Are those supposed to be... 393 00:13:15,370 --> 00:13:16,628 HONEYBEE: Boobs. They're boobs. 394 00:13:16,779 --> 00:13:19,188 PHOENIX: Though I am a straight, cisgendered man, 395 00:13:19,357 --> 00:13:21,374 my soul is deeply maternal, 396 00:13:21,526 --> 00:13:23,543 and it craves the most beautiful part 397 00:13:23,695 --> 00:13:24,969 of a female experience. 398 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,698 Tonight, I serve you all my milk in the way it was intended. 399 00:13:28,791 --> 00:13:31,292 From these bountiful sacks! 400 00:13:31,386 --> 00:13:34,628 Oh, hell no. This went from being a feminist retreat 401 00:13:34,797 --> 00:13:36,889 to multi-level marketing scheme to some kind of 402 00:13:37,042 --> 00:13:39,317 weird, booby-based cult real quick. 403 00:13:39,468 --> 00:13:41,060 We're getting out of here. Run, run! 404 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,804 Uh, no running. Ladies, return to the milking stage. 405 00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:47,383 Damn it. Attention all staff, we've got flee-nixes. 406 00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:49,494 Honeybee, I'm so sorry. This was my idea. 407 00:13:49,721 --> 00:13:50,903 And now we have no car 408 00:13:51,056 --> 00:13:52,572 and the bus doesn't return for hours. 409 00:13:52,724 --> 00:13:54,073 HONEYBEE: Look, there's the lady who collected the phones. 410 00:13:54,225 --> 00:13:55,575 Yep, we got eyes on 'em. Going in. 411 00:13:55,727 --> 00:13:57,318 Hi, hi, hello. 412 00:13:57,412 --> 00:13:58,895 Loving the day, having so much fun. 413 00:13:58,955 --> 00:14:00,505 But could we grab our phones real quick? 414 00:14:00,732 --> 00:14:02,899 Uh, we can't release devices until our husband 415 00:14:02,917 --> 00:14:04,843 is done with the staring ceremony. 416 00:14:05,070 --> 00:14:07,587 Now, why don't we get you two back over to it. 417 00:14:07,739 --> 00:14:08,921 That's okay, bye. 418 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,923 Ooh, darn it, now they got away. 419 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,241 Should we chase them? 420 00:14:12,293 --> 00:14:13,685 I don't know. It's awfully muddy 421 00:14:13,912 --> 00:14:15,411 and I didn't bring extra pants. 422 00:14:15,430 --> 00:14:17,856 All right, let's just walk very slowly after them. 423 00:14:18,007 --> 00:14:20,083 -Ooh, I like that. -And here we go. 424 00:14:20,101 --> 00:14:21,342 A one, two... 425 00:14:21,436 --> 00:14:22,360 Ladies? 426 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,511 Okay, we're just gonna have to lay low 427 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,439 -until the bus comes back. -(phone vibrates) 428 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,941 -Wait, is that a phone? -Moon, you Lil Prepper genius. 429 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:32,111 He must have put the emergency phone in my bag after all. 430 00:14:32,263 --> 00:14:33,371 I love that kid. 431 00:14:33,598 --> 00:14:35,264 And... dada-doop, boom. 432 00:14:35,358 --> 00:14:37,283 Lone Moose's lone Uber is on its way. 433 00:14:37,435 --> 00:14:39,711 -in 45 minutes. -Uh-oh, this is bad. 434 00:14:39,862 --> 00:14:41,621 We're gonna get very wet and very cold. 435 00:14:41,773 --> 00:14:44,698 But that's okay. I don't need all my toes. 436 00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:47,610 As long as I can keep Janet and Ronald, I'll be all right. 437 00:14:47,629 --> 00:14:49,703 Um, I've got an idea to keep us dry, 438 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,297 but you're not going to like it. 439 00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:53,799 I know that because I also don't like it. 440 00:14:53,952 --> 00:14:55,134 WOLF: Okay, since Zelda 441 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,543 thinks fake stepmom is in the house, 442 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:59,288 we got to get someone in that room, stat. 443 00:14:59,307 --> 00:15:00,714 So I've called in reinforcements. 444 00:15:00,808 --> 00:15:01,958 Hi! 445 00:15:01,976 --> 00:15:04,293 And that's why they took all my emus away. 446 00:15:04,312 --> 00:15:07,054 Dad, Zelda, so nice to see you again. 447 00:15:07,132 --> 00:15:09,741 Some news. My brothers and I have arranged 448 00:15:09,892 --> 00:15:11,817 for Mom to be ready to see Zelda. 449 00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:15,972 Wonderful. Let's, uh, go meet Mrs. Tobin. 450 00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:18,808 JUDY: Oh, it's, uh, kind of wobbly, huh? 451 00:15:18,826 --> 00:15:20,251 But at least it's warm in here. 452 00:15:20,403 --> 00:15:22,478 And I-I guess it's good that we can, um, 453 00:15:22,497 --> 00:15:24,830 stand up here and not-not be in the, 454 00:15:24,983 --> 00:15:27,741 the pee that's all over the floor. 455 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,410 (crying) 456 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,170 Judy, sweetie, what's going on? 457 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,579 I don't like the porta-potty, either, 458 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,915 but we'll only be here another half hour. 459 00:15:35,009 --> 00:15:36,917 It's not... it's not that. 460 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,086 It's me. 461 00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:40,587 Where is this coming from? 462 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,440 I just, just... 463 00:15:42,591 --> 00:15:45,334 I said all that dumb stuff in the circle about how you were, 464 00:15:45,353 --> 00:15:46,852 like, my sister and I loved you, 465 00:15:47,005 --> 00:15:49,430 and you just... you just said, "Ditto." 466 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:52,341 I wanted today to be important and special 467 00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:55,011 for us as sisters, but I guess if you just want 468 00:15:55,029 --> 00:15:57,180 to be more like co-workers... (whimpers) 469 00:15:57,198 --> 00:16:00,941 Maybe we weren't meant to, uh, churn butter together, 470 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,461 or whatever Alaskan women did back in the day. 471 00:16:03,612 --> 00:16:06,539 Okay, Judy, Judy, Judy, slow down, all right? 472 00:16:06,615 --> 00:16:08,449 First of all, in the sharing circle, I said, "Ditto." 473 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,543 You know, like Patrick Swayze did in Ghost. 474 00:16:10,695 --> 00:16:11,711 I've never seen it. 475 00:16:11,863 --> 00:16:12,695 Oh, Judy, no. 476 00:16:12,788 --> 00:16:13,805 Well, we got to watch that movie 477 00:16:14,032 --> 00:16:15,381 and the rest of the Swayze collection. 478 00:16:15,533 --> 00:16:17,366 But his character, Sam, says "ditto" to his wife 479 00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:19,143 because his feelings for her are so big, 480 00:16:19,295 --> 00:16:20,645 he can't put them into words. 481 00:16:20,872 --> 00:16:21,962 Do you... 482 00:16:22,056 --> 00:16:23,539 think of me as a sister? 483 00:16:23,632 --> 00:16:24,983 Of course I do, Judy. 484 00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:27,134 And today was important and special 485 00:16:27,212 --> 00:16:27,986 because we were together. 486 00:16:28,062 --> 00:16:29,895 -It was? -It was. 487 00:16:30,048 --> 00:16:31,214 Thanks, Honeybee. 488 00:16:31,307 --> 00:16:33,157 And, honestly, those boobs-- 489 00:16:33,309 --> 00:16:35,476 they really did make today unforgettable. 490 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,144 That was so weird. But, I mean, 491 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,239 the website made Phoenix Phlying Festival sound so great, 492 00:16:40,391 --> 00:16:41,907 but it was all just a trick. 493 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,484 Is feminism bad? 494 00:16:43,578 --> 00:16:45,578 No way. It's just that feminism used to be, like, 495 00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:47,839 three British ladies trying to get the vote or something, 496 00:16:48,066 --> 00:16:50,233 and now it's huge. And that's a good thing. 497 00:16:50,251 --> 00:16:52,401 But, also, now that it's this big, it's grown to include 498 00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:54,345 scam artists and weird white guys. 499 00:16:54,572 --> 00:16:56,239 They find their way into everything. 500 00:16:56,257 --> 00:16:57,590 Eventually, you'll figure out how to gravitate 501 00:16:57,759 --> 00:17:00,184 toward the good version of feminism and avoid the grifters. 502 00:17:00,336 --> 00:17:02,503 -I believe in you. -Thanks, Honeybee. 503 00:17:02,597 --> 00:17:05,023 -Wait, no, we're tipping! Aah! -(yelling) 504 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,194 -Aah! Huh? -Aah! What? 505 00:17:10,346 --> 00:17:11,529 BEV: Everyone okay in there? 506 00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:13,756 We saw you guys go in here. 507 00:17:13,775 --> 00:17:15,033 Come on, come on, get out. 508 00:17:15,184 --> 00:17:16,850 This thing's heavy. Let's go! 509 00:17:16,928 --> 00:17:17,851 Thank you for saving us. 510 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,428 No problem. It's like they say: 511 00:17:19,447 --> 00:17:20,854 there's a special place in hell 512 00:17:20,948 --> 00:17:23,933 for women who let other women tip over in porta-potties. 513 00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:25,451 Okay, here they come. Everybody ready? 514 00:17:25,603 --> 00:17:28,120 -(high-pitched): Mm-hmm. -Oh, perfect voice, Jer. 515 00:17:28,273 --> 00:17:29,622 You sound just like a stepmom. 516 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,791 -(knocking) -Entrez. 517 00:17:31,943 --> 00:17:35,035 Hi, Shandor! (laughs) I'm Zelda. 518 00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:36,612 Oh, you're in your bear suit. 519 00:17:36,631 --> 00:17:38,038 Yes, I'm hibernating. 520 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,557 Well, you better go. 521 00:17:39,784 --> 00:17:42,209 I'm very tired because of my Japanese robot cooking work. 522 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,546 Yeah, we ought to wrap this up and let Mom get back to, uh... 523 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,548 Oh, you simply must remove your bear mask. 524 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,549 ALL: No! 525 00:17:48,643 --> 00:17:50,126 Uh, she can't, 'cause, uh, 526 00:17:50,144 --> 00:17:51,885 she was in a horrible accident. 527 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,979 Yeah, she was mauled by one of her bear colleagues. 528 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,573 (high-pitched): Mm-hmm. 529 00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:56,649 Oh, I can handle it. 530 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,076 I was actually a nurse for years. 531 00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,653 Well, I was pretending to be a nurse, to steal medicine. 532 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:01,895 -(laughs) -(doorbell rings) 533 00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,447 Oh, the doorbell. The doorbell is ringing. 534 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,974 We have to answer it immediately. 535 00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:06,642 Uh, here we go, everyone. 536 00:18:06,661 --> 00:18:08,086 Let's go. Bye, Shandor. 537 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,495 Yep. Everybody out. Bye, Mom. 538 00:18:09,647 --> 00:18:11,997 Okay, everybody out, everybody out. 539 00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:13,165 Oh, hello. 540 00:18:13,318 --> 00:18:14,834 I'm Beef's wife, Alyson. 541 00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,594 I'm sorry, you're Beef's wife? 542 00:18:16,745 --> 00:18:19,246 Oh, I can... I can explain. Uh... 543 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,490 -Uh-oh. This is bad. -KYLE: Beef, 544 00:18:21,509 --> 00:18:22,658 I'm also your wife. 545 00:18:22,751 --> 00:18:23,935 I'm ready for sex now. 546 00:18:24,086 --> 00:18:25,103 What do you know. Me too. 547 00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:26,753 But just the wife part, not the sex. 548 00:18:26,848 --> 00:18:29,590 Mm, probably shouldn't have left so many voicemails. 549 00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:31,500 Beef, what in the world? 550 00:18:31,594 --> 00:18:32,668 I guess the jig is up. 551 00:18:32,761 --> 00:18:35,171 It most certainly is. 552 00:18:35,264 --> 00:18:37,598 You have a beautiful wife inside, 553 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:41,177 a good-hearted international chef who still finds time 554 00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:43,103 to do valuable research on bears. 555 00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:44,622 Yet here you are, 556 00:18:44,773 --> 00:18:47,867 clearly cheating on her with all these other secret wives? 557 00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:49,776 Well, you caught me. 558 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:53,614 Aw. I am a very bad man whom you should not want to marry. 559 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,449 Shame on you, Dad. 560 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,468 I'm sorry, Beef, but I'm leaving. 561 00:18:57,695 --> 00:18:59,211 And I'm taking my microwave back. 562 00:18:59,364 --> 00:19:00,621 Don't try to stop me. 563 00:19:00,715 --> 00:19:02,640 Who was that? She seems great. 564 00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:05,977 (sighs) Looks like it's just us again, my beautiful sons. 565 00:19:06,128 --> 00:19:08,479 Well, have a safe drive back to Chickaloon. 566 00:19:08,631 --> 00:19:11,707 I am sincerely sorry that you came all this way for nothing. 567 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,376 It's not a total loss. 568 00:19:13,469 --> 00:19:14,894 I mean, Shandor is amazing. 569 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,379 I'm gonna look her up on Facebook. 570 00:19:16,472 --> 00:19:18,138 And, hey, if all your wives divorce you 571 00:19:18,232 --> 00:19:19,565 by the time we're 50, 572 00:19:19,642 --> 00:19:22,051 let's give this marriage pact thing another try. 573 00:19:22,069 --> 00:19:23,810 Yes. Perfect. Great. 574 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,055 No! No, no, no. 575 00:19:26,224 --> 00:19:27,740 (groans) Well, 576 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:28,833 big news, boys-- 577 00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,060 in nine years and 364 days, 578 00:19:31,153 --> 00:19:32,411 we're moving to Florida. 579 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,563 Whew, thanks for getting us out of that porta-potty. 580 00:19:34,582 --> 00:19:36,582 Yeah, I was feeling bummed out about feminism 581 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,402 and then you ladies showed up to literally support us. 582 00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:41,420 Happy to do it. You guys want your phones back? 583 00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:44,015 We saw where they stashed 'em earlier, so we grabbed 'em. 584 00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,424 Two fewer to sell at the pawn shop. 585 00:19:45,593 --> 00:19:47,410 But we like you guys so it's okay. 586 00:19:47,428 --> 00:19:49,187 Ooh, looks like our Uber is only a minute away. 587 00:19:49,338 --> 00:19:50,855 Do you guys want a ride? 588 00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:53,840 Nah. Bev's ferret-sitter was happy to come swoop us up. 589 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,526 -Smell you guys later. -Bye. 590 00:19:55,753 --> 00:19:59,088 Well, I'm definitely adding them to my Christmas card list. 591 00:19:59,181 --> 00:20:00,031 Oh, yeah. I loved them. 592 00:20:00,182 --> 00:20:01,348 I do feel like that ferret 593 00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:02,942 should have been wearing a helmet, though. 594 00:20:03,094 --> 00:20:04,702 All right, boys, let's head out. 595 00:20:04,929 --> 00:20:06,853 I'm hurtin' for some gherkins. 596 00:20:06,948 --> 00:20:09,615 I'm gonna get my cornichon on. 597 00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:11,191 Let's cuke till we puke. 598 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,544 I would like to try one of those pickle rhymes. 599 00:20:13,696 --> 00:20:14,879 Go for it, Dad. 600 00:20:15,106 --> 00:20:17,106 I would kill for a dill. 601 00:20:17,124 --> 00:20:18,791 (laughs) Good one. 602 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,292 Hey, is that Judy and Honeybee? 603 00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,278 They weren't supposed to be back for hours. 604 00:20:22,296 --> 00:20:24,055 Hey, guys. How was Sisters Day? 605 00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:27,558 Oh, boy. Well, there was a multilevel marketing scheme 606 00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:28,801 and a huge perv 607 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,953 and big old boobs that came down from the sky, 608 00:20:30,972 --> 00:20:32,621 and we almost fell over in a porta-potty. 609 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:33,731 It was perfect. 610 00:20:33,882 --> 00:20:35,458 Wait, were you guys going somewhere? 611 00:20:35,551 --> 00:20:36,934 Whipple's Pickles. You two want to join? 612 00:20:37,086 --> 00:20:39,812 Uh, yes. Let's get some bread and butter in these mothers. 613 00:20:39,964 --> 00:20:42,648 Oh, boy, I sure hope their Nickelback cover band, 614 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,075 Picklesnack, is playing today. 615 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,652 WOLF: ♪ This is how you remind me ♪ 616 00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:48,729 ♪ Of what I like to eat. ♪ 617 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:49,638 Pickles. 618 00:20:49,732 --> 00:20:51,974 ♪ Alphonso and Ned ♪ 619 00:20:51,993 --> 00:20:54,477 ♪ We're off to fight the aliens ♪ 620 00:20:54,495 --> 00:20:57,738 ♪ Though we might be ripped to shreds ♪ 621 00:20:57,832 --> 00:21:01,166 ♪ It's time to man-doll up and leave the safety of our beds ♪ 622 00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,910 ♪ We're not tough, we're cotton and fluff ♪ 623 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,597 ♪ And we're very, very flammable ♪ 624 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,992 ♪ We've never left our mom before ♪ 625 00:21:10,011 --> 00:21:11,251 ♪ Will this be too much to handle? ♪ 626 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:12,603 ♪ This our time to shine ♪ 627 00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:13,920 ♪ And that's why ♪ 628 00:21:13,998 --> 00:21:15,514 ♪ We're on the front line ♪ 629 00:21:15,666 --> 00:21:18,609 ♪ Alphonso and Ned, Alphonso and Ned ♪ 630 00:21:18,761 --> 00:21:20,444 ♪ Alphonso and Ned. ♪ 631 00:21:20,596 --> 00:21:22,505 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 632 00:21:22,523 --> 00:21:24,991 and TOYOTA.