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00:00:01,894 --> 00:00:04,319
-♪ Look up there ♪
-♪ What do you see? ♪
2
00:00:04,413 --> 00:00:05,912
♪ Nature and stuff ♪
3
00:00:06,065 --> 00:00:07,172
-♪ Like a rock ♪
-♪ And a tree ♪
4
00:00:07,399 --> 00:00:10,009
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
5
00:00:10,236 --> 00:00:13,737
♪ Way up here,
you can breathe the air ♪
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00:00:13,830 --> 00:00:14,905
♪ Catch some fish ♪
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00:00:14,998 --> 00:00:16,573
♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
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00:00:16,592 --> 00:00:17,665
♪ Wow ♪
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00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,169
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
10
00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:22,670
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
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00:00:22,839 --> 00:00:24,097
♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
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00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:25,599
♪ From longest night
to longest day ♪
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♪ In the Great North. ♪
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(cheering)
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Good morning, my jagged little
imaginary best friend.
16
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Oh, good. We're up.
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00:00:39,098 --> 00:00:40,597
Well, I barely slept
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00:00:40,616 --> 00:00:42,708
because today is the first...
(vocalizing)
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00:00:42,935 --> 00:00:45,285
...Sisters Day
for me and Honeybee.
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00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,603
Oh, yes,
I love girls-only events.
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00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:48,530
When I went to Lilith Fair
I got so high
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00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,216
off the female energy that
I jumped off the scaffolding.
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00:00:51,368 --> 00:00:53,277
Luckily, Sarah McLachlan
caught me. (laughs)
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00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:55,128
Talk about the arms of an angel.
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00:00:55,281 --> 00:00:57,114
Yeah, this house
and, uh, frankly,
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00:00:57,132 --> 00:00:59,541
all of the gorgeous state
of Alaska, can be a bit
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00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,619
of a frankfurter fiesta,
so Honeybee and I decided
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00:01:02,712 --> 00:01:04,712
to just get out on our own
one Saturday a month.
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We'll be like, uh,
ye women of olde who probably,
30
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,976
you know, like,
churned butter together?
31
00:01:10,129 --> 00:01:12,220
You got Honeybee
to agree to churn butter?
32
00:01:12,314 --> 00:01:13,405
I modernized it a bit.
33
00:01:13,632 --> 00:01:15,557
For our first
Sisters Day activity,
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00:01:15,651 --> 00:01:17,225
I selected the annual
35
00:01:17,394 --> 00:01:18,985
Phoenix Phlying
Feminist Retreat.
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00:01:19,138 --> 00:01:20,320
I can't believe we got tickets.
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00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,747
They are very hard
to come by because
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Phoenix, the leader and legend,
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00:01:23,233 --> 00:01:24,750
does her famous care stare.
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00:01:24,977 --> 00:01:26,109
Uh, care stare?
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00:01:26,161 --> 00:01:27,235
Yep, Phoenix comes out on stage,
42
00:01:27,329 --> 00:01:28,662
and then she stares at each
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00:01:28,814 --> 00:01:31,256
participant one by one
and you feel truly seen.
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00:01:31,408 --> 00:01:33,592
-And she just stares? Huh.
-Uh-huh.
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00:01:33,743 --> 00:01:35,986
The treats are deep
in the Alaskan woods.
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00:01:36,079 --> 00:01:37,671
Moon tried to give me
a wilderness survival kit,
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but I told him, "No way, man.
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"If we need anything out there,
we'll just help each other.
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Like Alaskan sisters
have always done."
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00:01:43,662 --> 00:01:45,512
(sighs) I just know
Phoenix is really gonna
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00:01:45,664 --> 00:01:47,514
help Honeybee
and I solidify our bond.
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But you guys already
have a great bond, right?
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Uh, I don't know. Honeybee's
so much older than me and, like,
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a million times cooler,
and we haven't spent
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that much time together,
just the two of us.
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I think of her like a sister
but I don't know
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00:01:57,843 --> 00:01:59,192
if she feels that way about me.
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But if she doesn't,
I'm sure this amazing retreat
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will seal the deal.
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We're gonna be like
the Hemsworth brothers,
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00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:06,625
but as sisters.
I'm Liam with a Chris rising.
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Oh. Alanis, stop talking,
okay, all right? Okay!
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Ugh! I'm gonna be late.
(chuckles)
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WOLF:
Welp, I dropped
Judy and Honeybee off
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00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:13,966
at the bus
and now it's just us guys.
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00:02:14,117 --> 00:02:15,968
What do we want
to do for our Man's Day?
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00:02:16,195 --> 00:02:17,861
Ooh, we could
sharpen the blender blades.
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00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:20,213
This morning's smoothie
was a little coarse.
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00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,123
Or we can visit
Whipple's Pickles.
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00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:24,368
-Oh, hell yeah!
-Yes!
-Pickle me interested.
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00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:26,036
We could ride
on the pickle carousel
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and take our picture
in the big pickle jar.
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00:02:27,739 --> 00:02:29,873
Plus, my Dillon the Dill doll
lost his eye
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so I got to take him there
to get repaired.
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And I'm gonna eat
the samples till I throw up.
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Just like I always do.
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I'll grab a bunch
of plastic bags for you, son.
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00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:38,882
It's brine time, my freaks.
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00:02:38,901 --> 00:02:40,717
It's sweet and sour power hour.
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00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:42,828
I'm about to bring
the thunder on some cucumbers.
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00:02:42,979 --> 00:02:44,496
Pickle march, fall in.
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00:02:44,648 --> 00:02:47,224
ALL:
Whipples! Pickles! Whipples!
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-Pickles!
-(doorbell rings)
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Pickle march, at ease.
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Is anyone expecting someone?
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Beef, honey!
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I'm home!
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Um. Hello.
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00:02:56,402 --> 00:02:58,068
Sorry, can we... help you?
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00:02:58,086 --> 00:03:01,346
Beef, it's me.
Zelda Blop, from high school.
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00:03:01,573 --> 00:03:03,740
Zelda? Oh. Zelda.
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00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,091
Right.
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00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:06,743
Uh, what brings you here?
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00:03:06,836 --> 00:03:09,246
Are you coming
from your wedding?
95
00:03:09,264 --> 00:03:11,839
Uh, no, I'm going to my wedding.
96
00:03:11,934 --> 00:03:14,100
Remember?
We're getting married.
97
00:03:14,253 --> 00:03:17,345
-Us?
-Oh, and these must be
my stepsons.
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00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,680
Oh, gosh, you're big.
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00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,365
Boys, me and your dad
did a pact in high school
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00:03:20,517 --> 00:03:22,092
that if we weren't married
by 40,
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00:03:22,185 --> 00:03:23,276
we were gonna marry each other.
102
00:03:23,429 --> 00:03:25,520
And guess who turns 40 today?
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-Happy birthday, Mother.
-Moon.
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00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:29,524
And thanks to public records,
I know you're divorced, Beef.
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00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,284
So, since we're both single...
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00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,377
Great.
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00:03:32,529 --> 00:03:34,438
Uh, boys, if you would
please follow me
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to the attic to help me
find something?
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Is it a ring?
Wait, don't tell me.
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I'm just gonna get familiar
with our kitchen
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00:03:40,128 --> 00:03:41,536
while you're gone.
Aah!
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Are you okay?
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00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,890
Yep.
This happens all the time.
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00:03:45,117 --> 00:03:47,041
You go on, you go.
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Dad, I know you and Miss Blop
just got engaged,
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00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,138
but have you given any thought
to your wedding cake?
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00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,066
Aw, Dad, you got
to take her name.
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Imagine being named Beef Blop.
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00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:57,569
And we'll be the Blop Boys!
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00:03:57,721 --> 00:03:58,962
Yep, here she is.
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00:03:59,055 --> 00:04:00,313
Zelda Blop.
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00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:02,407
Now I remember her.
She was always a bit...
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00:04:02,559 --> 00:04:04,317
-Bonkers in the tonkers?
-Indeed.
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00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:06,394
And I did take her out
in an effort
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00:04:06,488 --> 00:04:08,305
to make your mom jealous.
And I probably
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00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:09,915
did agree to marry her
when we were 40.
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00:04:10,066 --> 00:04:13,326
I had a tendency to say yes to
almost anything girls asked me
128
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,329
at the time, which is
how I wound up a dad at 19.
129
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,665
-A rad dad.
-With a rad son.
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00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,000
And then two more rad sons
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-and a rad daughter.
-The Blop Boys.
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And Judy.
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00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:24,429
J-Blop-a-doody.
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00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,157
Well, how bonkers
were this lady's tonkers?
135
00:04:27,175 --> 00:04:29,601
Well, she ate a volleyball
in gym class
136
00:04:29,828 --> 00:04:32,012
because she thought
it was a giant marshmallow.
137
00:04:32,164 --> 00:04:33,830
But I did make a promise,
138
00:04:33,849 --> 00:04:35,348
so I suppose I should marry her.
139
00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:37,183
Dad, no.
We'll just go downstairs,
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00:04:37,352 --> 00:04:39,778
you gently decline the marriage,
and we send her on her way.
141
00:04:39,929 --> 00:04:41,596
Mm. Simple.
I like it.
142
00:04:41,673 --> 00:04:44,432
Pickle march resuming
in T-Minus five minutes.
143
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,676
Cell phones please.
They're taking our phones?
144
00:04:46,695 --> 00:04:48,678
But what if there's
a celebrity break-up?
145
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:49,863
Mm, outside distractions
146
00:04:50,015 --> 00:04:51,439
prevent you
from achieving the total
147
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,607
Phoenix Phlying experience.
148
00:04:52,701 --> 00:04:54,459
All right, if J-Lo and Ben
break up again,
149
00:04:54,611 --> 00:04:56,353
I think I'll feel
it in my bones anyway.
150
00:04:56,355 --> 00:04:57,779
When she surprise-dropped
her new song
151
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,189
"I'm Having Wine Tonight,"
152
00:04:59,282 --> 00:05:00,299
I woke up from a dead sleep.
153
00:05:00,526 --> 00:05:02,134
JUDY:
(exclaims) I'm just so excited.
154
00:05:02,361 --> 00:05:03,951
-Are you so excited?
-I mean, I'm kind of mad
155
00:05:04,046 --> 00:05:06,212
they took my phone, but
I'm sure we'll have some fun.
156
00:05:06,365 --> 00:05:08,381
Oh, I just thought
you'd be super jazzed
157
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,291
about the sisterhood
and all that.
158
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:12,719
Do you...
not like this activity I picked?
159
00:05:12,871 --> 00:05:14,888
Oh, uh, it's just... um...
160
00:05:14,964 --> 00:05:16,890
I went to a lot
of events like this
161
00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:18,558
for female entrepreneurs
back in Fresno.
162
00:05:18,710 --> 00:05:20,560
From my experience,
they're sometimes more
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00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,303
about helping themselves
than helping the sisterhood.
164
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:23,655
Plus, if there's
a musical performance,
165
00:05:23,807 --> 00:05:25,565
there's always some
white woman getting on another
166
00:05:25,717 --> 00:05:27,734
white woman's shoulders, swaying
around and blocking your view.
167
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,403
Well, I think Phoenix is
too amazing to be materialistic.
168
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,239
And if there's a musical
performance I'll put you
169
00:05:33,392 --> 00:05:35,817
on my shoulders and we'll block
some random white woman's view.
170
00:05:35,952 --> 00:05:37,652
Now we're talking.
You know I love revenge.
171
00:05:37,746 --> 00:05:40,321
Okay, so do any of these
activities here interest you?
172
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:42,415
There's the Sisterhood
of the Bedazzling pants booth
173
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,676
or the Thelma and Louise
go-kart track?
174
00:05:44,903 --> 00:05:46,236
Uh, the patriarchy piñata?
175
00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:47,921
You know what, Judy?
Let's do 'em all.
176
00:05:48,073 --> 00:05:49,589
♪ Ladies doing some stuff ♪
177
00:05:49,741 --> 00:05:51,499
♪ No men here
'cause we've had enough ♪
178
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,352
♪ Bedazzling pants,
getting empowered ♪
179
00:05:53,503 --> 00:05:54,911
♪ Tasty snacks
getting straight devoured ♪
180
00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:56,605
♪ Ladies doing some stuff! ♪
181
00:05:57,841 --> 00:05:59,583
There you are.
Boys, I'd like you
182
00:05:59,601 --> 00:06:01,693
to meet your new stepbrothers,
Alphonso and Ned.
183
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,770
But don't worry, you won't
have to share your rooms.
184
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,589
They've been drafted
into the army,
185
00:06:05,682 --> 00:06:07,273
and they're leaving soon
to fight the aliens.
186
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:08,441
Oh. Cool.
187
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,686
Dad, did you want
to say something?
188
00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:12,871
Right.
(clears throat)
189
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,356
Zelda, I'm very sorry,
but I'm afraid
190
00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:18,268
that, simply put:
I cannot marry you.
191
00:06:18,286 --> 00:06:20,286
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
192
00:06:20,439 --> 00:06:22,288
And I spent so much money
on this dress.
193
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,049
I got a reverse mortgage
for this.
194
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,366
And I sold an organ.
195
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:27,052
-What?
-My mother's organ.
196
00:06:27,129 --> 00:06:29,170
She played in the church
for years before she died.
197
00:06:29,281 --> 00:06:30,555
-Oh, God.
-Yes.
198
00:06:30,707 --> 00:06:32,115
Dyed her hair bright blonde
199
00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:34,284
and became a real floozy,
so the church kicked her out.
200
00:06:34,302 --> 00:06:35,894
Maybe you can save the dress
201
00:06:36,121 --> 00:06:38,045
till you do
find someone to marry?
202
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,714
But Beef, I've tried.
203
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:40,899
Ugh.
I know Alaska is up
204
00:06:41,126 --> 00:06:42,792
to its moose teats in men,
but you know what
205
00:06:42,886 --> 00:06:46,238
they say: the odds are good,
but the goods are odd.
206
00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:47,555
I dated this total gold digger,
207
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,315
and he dug up my yard
looking for gold.
208
00:06:49,468 --> 00:06:51,076
And then I dated
a knife salesman who chopped
209
00:06:51,227 --> 00:06:52,636
everything I own
into little cubes.
210
00:06:52,729 --> 00:06:55,247
Oh, God, what am I gonna do,
what am I gonna do?
211
00:06:55,474 --> 00:06:57,582
You don't like me, I'm bad.
212
00:06:57,809 --> 00:06:59,809
Please, uh, stand up.
213
00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:00,977
Oh, no, I can't.
214
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:03,313
When I get upset,
my bones stop working.
215
00:07:03,331 --> 00:07:04,923
I won't be able to get up
till I feel better.
216
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:07,984
Well, uh, I am sure
you will feel better
217
00:07:08,003 --> 00:07:10,503
if I tell you
I do like you, a lot.
218
00:07:10,656 --> 00:07:13,080
But I actually...
just got remarried.
219
00:07:13,175 --> 00:07:15,082
To another woman.
220
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,845
-Dad...
-And her name is... Shandor.
221
00:07:18,997 --> 00:07:19,846
Oh, where is she?
222
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,589
She's here.
223
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,366
No. Nope, she's out.
224
00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:25,335
She's a volunteer pet paramedic.
225
00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:27,595
And a cat nearby
had a heart attack.
226
00:07:27,689 --> 00:07:29,614
Ugh, sounds like your wife
is an angel, Beef.
227
00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:31,933
You know, meeting her
is probably the only thing
228
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,843
that would make me feel better
about this whole fiasco
229
00:07:33,862 --> 00:07:36,288
and help me
start the healing process.
230
00:07:36,439 --> 00:07:38,698
Okay, yes. I'll introduce you.
231
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,700
-Dad.
-Okay, I'll just lay here
232
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,276
and wait for her to get home.
233
00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:44,278
I need a break before
making the nine-hour drive
234
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:45,689
back to Chickaloon anyway.
235
00:07:45,857 --> 00:07:47,949
Oh, Shandor also
from Chickaloon.
236
00:07:48,043 --> 00:07:49,968
You're gonna have
so much to talk about.
237
00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,220
-Dad, no more.
-Yep. Got it.
238
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,625
Mmm, these empowerment
empanadas are delicious.
239
00:07:57,719 --> 00:07:59,703
So, the food, the fun--
240
00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:00,812
today's pretty great, right?
241
00:08:00,964 --> 00:08:02,222
I got to say,
this place is legit.
242
00:08:02,374 --> 00:08:03,482
And not nearly the money grab
243
00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:05,466
-I thought it was gonna be.
-Ooh, look.
244
00:08:05,544 --> 00:08:07,468
The sharing tent.
Uh, should we check that out?
245
00:08:07,546 --> 00:08:09,488
Sure, but FYI, even if I have
to share my feelings,
246
00:08:09,597 --> 00:08:11,715
I'm not sharing
any of my her-chata.
247
00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:13,383
I don't care who's in there.
248
00:08:13,401 --> 00:08:15,902
-You guys first-timers, too?
-Yep. I'm Judy.
249
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,937
And this is my sister-in-law,
Honeybee.
250
00:08:18,089 --> 00:08:19,146
Hey. We're sisters, too.
251
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,406
I'm Paula, and this is Bev.
252
00:08:20,559 --> 00:08:22,149
We own the pawn shop
over in Death Cliff,
253
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,169
We Like Your Junk.
We're hoping getting stared at
254
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,578
by Phoenix will
free our minds up
255
00:08:25,731 --> 00:08:27,247
to take our business
to the next level.
256
00:08:27,399 --> 00:08:29,657
We're aiming big. We want
to pawn the Hope Diamond.
257
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,660
Hello, everyone. Welcome
to the She Said Sharing Shed.
258
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,588
Our prompt today
is "a woman who lifts you up."
259
00:08:35,741 --> 00:08:38,517
I will now pass along
the communication feather.
260
00:08:38,744 --> 00:08:40,668
Well, I'd say the woman
who lifts me up
261
00:08:40,762 --> 00:08:42,078
is my sister Paula right here.
262
00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:43,855
She'd go through fire for me.
And she has.
263
00:08:44,082 --> 00:08:45,749
I got stuck in a ring of fire
when I got lost
264
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:47,584
at the circus
and she walked right through.
265
00:08:47,602 --> 00:08:49,252
Pulled me out and
threw me into that little pool
266
00:08:49,345 --> 00:08:50,678
of water
that the high diver dives into.
267
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,180
And Bev held my hand
when I gave birth to my twins,
268
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,108
and then again 20 years later
when they robbed us.
269
00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:58,185
Wow, I would also say
the person who lifts me up
270
00:08:58,263 --> 00:08:59,779
is my sister, Honeybee.
271
00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:02,207
Well, my sister-in-law,
but she is my sister.
272
00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:04,209
It's right there,
in the name-- by law.
273
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:07,453
(laughing)
I'm just... I jo...
274
00:09:07,606 --> 00:09:09,439
I'm sorry,
I just love her so much.
275
00:09:09,532 --> 00:09:11,365
And now
she's probably gonna say,
276
00:09:11,459 --> 00:09:13,777
like, something
really amazing back to me.
277
00:09:13,795 --> 00:09:16,129
-So... Okay...
-Oh, thanks Judy.
278
00:09:16,281 --> 00:09:19,299
Wow. As Patrick Swayze
says in Ghost, "ditto."
279
00:09:19,451 --> 00:09:21,393
-Okay, here you go.
-Oh. Cool.
280
00:09:21,544 --> 00:09:23,119
-(gong chimes)
-The gathering gong.
281
00:09:23,212 --> 00:09:24,545
It's time for the staring.
282
00:09:24,639 --> 00:09:27,065
All right, let's go get
looked at by some lady.
283
00:09:27,216 --> 00:09:29,383
Yeah. Yeah. Here I come.
284
00:09:29,461 --> 00:09:31,236
HAM:
I don't want to be
a Forlorn Franklin,
285
00:09:31,387 --> 00:09:34,464
but it really seems like Zelda
isn't gonna get up off the floor
286
00:09:34,482 --> 00:09:36,557
until she meets
the stepmom Dad invented.
287
00:09:36,651 --> 00:09:38,484
So she's never leaving
and we're never getting
288
00:09:38,637 --> 00:09:40,728
-to Whipple's Pickles.
-Not necessarily.
289
00:09:40,897 --> 00:09:42,322
All we need
is someone who'll pretend
290
00:09:42,474 --> 00:09:44,324
to be married to Dad,
meet Zelda,
291
00:09:44,476 --> 00:09:46,233
and then we send her
on her way, no harm done.
292
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,811
Oh! We could call Alyson.
293
00:09:47,904 --> 00:09:49,312
Yeah. Okay, how about you guys
294
00:09:49,405 --> 00:09:51,314
get back in there
and help Dad not be...
295
00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:53,091
like Dad,
and I'll make the call.
296
00:09:53,318 --> 00:09:54,984
Four weddings and a fudgesicle.
297
00:09:55,003 --> 00:09:56,319
Voice mail.
298
00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:58,263
Hey, Alyson, it's Wolf.
299
00:09:58,414 --> 00:10:00,824
And that was the second time
I got arrested
300
00:10:00,842 --> 00:10:01,841
at the governor's mansion.
301
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,509
Dad, may we see you
in the kitchen?
302
00:10:03,662 --> 00:10:06,754
we have some questions
about, uh...
303
00:10:06,848 --> 00:10:08,832
Money and sex.
304
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:10,942
Hey, don't we all. (laughs)
305
00:10:11,094 --> 00:10:13,594
Don't. We. All.
306
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:16,005
Dad, Wolf is trying
to find a fake wife for you.
307
00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:17,357
He's calling Alyson.
308
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,933
-Okay, good plan.
-What's the plan?
309
00:10:19,027 --> 00:10:21,027
-Aah!
-Aah!
-Aah! How did you get over here?
310
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,120
I slid.
(laughs)
311
00:10:22,347 --> 00:10:23,938
What kind of plan
are you talking about?
312
00:10:24,032 --> 00:10:25,957
Oh. A plan for my wife.
313
00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:28,109
She likes plans,
hates surprises.
314
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,944
She startles very easily.
315
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,612
Like a-a bear.
316
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:33,948
Uh, because she is a bear...
317
00:10:34,025 --> 00:10:35,408
uh, researcher.
318
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,861
Uh, as well
as a pet para-demic...
319
00:10:37,879 --> 00:10:39,787
pa... para-paramedic.
(chuckles)
320
00:10:39,881 --> 00:10:41,364
Which is why
321
00:10:41,383 --> 00:10:44,717
she's in our room,
hibernating like a bear.
322
00:10:44,870 --> 00:10:45,810
Dad, why?
323
00:10:46,037 --> 00:10:46,886
Oh! She came home?
324
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,480
Yeah, sure. Okay, yeah.
325
00:10:48,707 --> 00:10:50,631
Like Dad is saying,
she did come home...
326
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,559
But she went right to her room.
Dad's room. Their room.
327
00:10:53,712 --> 00:10:55,803
She didn't want to come in
and say hi to you guys?
328
00:10:55,897 --> 00:10:57,972
Oh, I'm sure
she wanted to, but...
329
00:10:58,066 --> 00:10:59,399
Well, as a bear...
330
00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:02,327
-Oh, my God.
-researcher,
she lives like a bear...
331
00:11:02,478 --> 00:11:04,404
-And, oh, my God.
-for much of the year.
332
00:11:04,556 --> 00:11:06,998
Like I said,
it's hibernation time.
333
00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:10,243
Oh, yeah. I-I forgot,
because... I'm drunk.
334
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:13,396
Well, I'll just pop in
and take a peek, very quietly.
335
00:11:13,489 --> 00:11:14,747
(all clamoring)
336
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:16,900
My bones are feeling
a little bit better.
337
00:11:16,918 --> 00:11:17,959
No, don't go now.
338
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,011
She has to prepare
for her night job.
339
00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:22,755
As a long-distance chef...
340
00:11:22,832 --> 00:11:23,998
in Japan.
341
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:25,850
Wow, a long-distance chef?
342
00:11:26,077 --> 00:11:28,002
I don't believe
I know what that is.
343
00:11:28,096 --> 00:11:29,429
Have you seen Pacific Rim?
344
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,338
It's like that,
but with robot arms
345
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:32,749
at a restaurant in Tokyo.
346
00:11:32,918 --> 00:11:35,860
Everything you say about
this woman makes it clearer
347
00:11:36,087 --> 00:11:38,254
and clearer
how my Beef fell for her.
348
00:11:38,273 --> 00:11:39,864
I simply have to get a look.
349
00:11:40,016 --> 00:11:41,257
Oh, just, uh, give me
350
00:11:41,276 --> 00:11:42,850
and my, uh,
little brothers a minute
351
00:11:42,944 --> 00:11:45,111
to, uh, you know, ease Mom
into the fact that, uh,
352
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,431
she's about to meet the woman
who almost married Dad.
353
00:11:48,524 --> 00:11:51,617
(short chuckle) And, uh,
you and Dad, uh, just hang here.
354
00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,044
So, um...
355
00:11:53,196 --> 00:11:55,939
do you keep in touch
with anyone else from school?
356
00:11:55,941 --> 00:11:58,291
I heard Joey died.
Do you ever talk to him?
357
00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,943
HONEYBEE:
So, Judy, you excited?
358
00:11:59,961 --> 00:12:01,444
This is what
you've been waiting for.
359
00:12:01,463 --> 00:12:03,037
You ready for this gal to, uh,
360
00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:04,538
get a creepy peepy of you?
361
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:07,784
-Uh-huh. Yeah.
-Judy, is something wrong?
362
00:12:07,786 --> 00:12:09,302
Oh, no.
I mean, sort of.
363
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,045
-Please take one.
-Hold on, what's this?
364
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,565
Phoenix will reveal all.
Just take the cup and drink.
365
00:12:13,716 --> 00:12:15,141
Judy, uh-uh, don't drink that.
366
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,402
ANNOUNCER (over P.A.):
Ladies, prepare to take flight.
367
00:12:17,629 --> 00:12:19,979
Please welcome to the stage
the one and only
368
00:12:20,131 --> 00:12:21,981
Phoenix!
369
00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:23,074
(Phoenix vocalizing)
370
00:12:23,226 --> 00:12:24,467
JUDY:
Wait.
371
00:12:24,486 --> 00:12:26,986
-Phoenix isn't a...
-Huh, I...
372
00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:28,562
Hello, welcome.
373
00:12:28,656 --> 00:12:29,973
If you are a first-timer,
374
00:12:29,991 --> 00:12:31,624
you might be surprised
to find out that, yes,
375
00:12:31,810 --> 00:12:33,977
I'm a cis hetero man,
376
00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:35,495
but, more importantly,
377
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,088
a cis hetero woke man.
378
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,716
-Dude, where's my shero?
-Om...
379
00:12:42,578 --> 00:12:44,429
Now before we get started
today, I wanted to share
380
00:12:44,506 --> 00:12:48,174
something very special.
♪ Goddess Milk ♪
381
00:12:48,176 --> 00:12:50,009
A wellness elixir so amazing,
382
00:12:50,161 --> 00:12:51,603
it's like a care stare
in your cup.
383
00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:54,922
And I can't wait for you to have
a little me inside you.
384
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,183
-Mm-mmm. No sir.
-It's such a great product
385
00:12:57,335 --> 00:12:58,926
you're gonna want
to sell it, too.
386
00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:01,187
And the supply you purchase will
fly off the shelf as you work
387
00:13:01,264 --> 00:13:03,339
your way up the sales charts
from Mother's Little Helper
388
00:13:03,432 --> 00:13:05,174
to Level Six Creamy Dreamer.
389
00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:08,620
Yep, there it is. It's
a multi-level marketing scheme.
390
00:13:08,771 --> 00:13:11,681
Oh, great choice of activity
for Sister's Day, Judy.
391
00:13:11,699 --> 00:13:13,274
Oh, my God.
No, no, no.
392
00:13:13,368 --> 00:13:15,351
Are those supposed to be...
393
00:13:15,370 --> 00:13:16,628
HONEYBEE:
Boobs. They're boobs.
394
00:13:16,779 --> 00:13:19,188
PHOENIX:
Though I am a straight,
cisgendered man,
395
00:13:19,357 --> 00:13:21,374
my soul is deeply maternal,
396
00:13:21,526 --> 00:13:23,543
and it craves
the most beautiful part
397
00:13:23,695 --> 00:13:24,969
of a female experience.
398
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,698
Tonight, I serve you all my milk
in the way it was intended.
399
00:13:28,791 --> 00:13:31,292
From these bountiful sacks!
400
00:13:31,386 --> 00:13:34,628
Oh, hell no. This went from
being a feminist retreat
401
00:13:34,797 --> 00:13:36,889
to multi-level marketing scheme
to some kind of
402
00:13:37,042 --> 00:13:39,317
weird, booby-based cult
real quick.
403
00:13:39,468 --> 00:13:41,060
We're getting out of here.
Run, run!
404
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,804
Uh, no running. Ladies,
return to the milking stage.
405
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:47,383
Damn it. Attention all staff,
we've got flee-nixes.
406
00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:49,494
Honeybee, I'm so sorry.
This was my idea.
407
00:13:49,721 --> 00:13:50,903
And now we have no car
408
00:13:51,056 --> 00:13:52,572
and the bus doesn't return
for hours.
409
00:13:52,724 --> 00:13:54,073
HONEYBEE:
Look, there's the lady
who collected the phones.
410
00:13:54,225 --> 00:13:55,575
Yep, we got eyes on 'em.
Going in.
411
00:13:55,727 --> 00:13:57,318
Hi, hi, hello.
412
00:13:57,412 --> 00:13:58,895
Loving the day,
having so much fun.
413
00:13:58,955 --> 00:14:00,505
But could we
grab our phones real quick?
414
00:14:00,732 --> 00:14:02,899
Uh, we can't release devices
until our husband
415
00:14:02,917 --> 00:14:04,843
is done with
the staring ceremony.
416
00:14:05,070 --> 00:14:07,587
Now, why don't we get
you two back over to it.
417
00:14:07,739 --> 00:14:08,921
That's okay, bye.
418
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,923
Ooh, darn it, now they got away.
419
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,241
Should we chase them?
420
00:14:12,293 --> 00:14:13,685
I don't know.
It's awfully muddy
421
00:14:13,912 --> 00:14:15,411
and I didn't bring extra pants.
422
00:14:15,430 --> 00:14:17,856
All right, let's just walk
very slowly after them.
423
00:14:18,007 --> 00:14:20,083
-Ooh, I like that.
-And here we go.
424
00:14:20,101 --> 00:14:21,342
A one, two...
425
00:14:21,436 --> 00:14:22,360
Ladies?
426
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,511
Okay, we're just gonna
have to lay low
427
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,439
-until the bus comes back.
-(phone vibrates)
428
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,941
-Wait, is that a phone?
-Moon, you Lil Prepper genius.
429
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:32,111
He must have put the emergency
phone in my bag after all.
430
00:14:32,263 --> 00:14:33,371
I love that kid.
431
00:14:33,598 --> 00:14:35,264
And... dada-doop, boom.
432
00:14:35,358 --> 00:14:37,283
Lone Moose's lone Uber
is on its way.
433
00:14:37,435 --> 00:14:39,711
-in 45 minutes.
-Uh-oh, this is bad.
434
00:14:39,862 --> 00:14:41,621
We're gonna get
very wet and very cold.
435
00:14:41,773 --> 00:14:44,698
But that's okay.
I don't need all my toes.
436
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:47,610
As long as I can keep Janet
and Ronald, I'll be all right.
437
00:14:47,629 --> 00:14:49,703
Um, I've got an idea
to keep us dry,
438
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,297
but you're not going to like it.
439
00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:53,799
I know that because
I also don't like it.
440
00:14:53,952 --> 00:14:55,134
WOLF:
Okay, since Zelda
441
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,543
thinks fake stepmom
is in the house,
442
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:59,288
we got to get someone
in that room, stat.
443
00:14:59,307 --> 00:15:00,714
So I've called in
reinforcements.
444
00:15:00,808 --> 00:15:01,958
Hi!
445
00:15:01,976 --> 00:15:04,293
And that's why
they took all my emus away.
446
00:15:04,312 --> 00:15:07,054
Dad, Zelda,
so nice to see you again.
447
00:15:07,132 --> 00:15:09,741
Some news. My brothers
and I have arranged
448
00:15:09,892 --> 00:15:11,817
for Mom to be ready
to see Zelda.
449
00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:15,972
Wonderful.
Let's, uh, go meet Mrs. Tobin.
450
00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:18,808
JUDY:
Oh, it's, uh,
kind of wobbly, huh?
451
00:15:18,826 --> 00:15:20,251
But at least it's warm in here.
452
00:15:20,403 --> 00:15:22,478
And I-I guess
it's good that we can, um,
453
00:15:22,497 --> 00:15:24,830
stand up here
and not-not be in the,
454
00:15:24,983 --> 00:15:27,741
the pee that's
all over the floor.
455
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,410
(crying)
456
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,170
Judy, sweetie, what's going on?
457
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,579
I don't like
the porta-potty, either,
458
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,915
but we'll only be here
another half hour.
459
00:15:35,009 --> 00:15:36,917
It's not... it's not that.
460
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,086
It's me.
461
00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:40,587
Where is this coming from?
462
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,440
I just, just...
463
00:15:42,591 --> 00:15:45,334
I said all that dumb stuff in
the circle about how you were,
464
00:15:45,353 --> 00:15:46,852
like, my sister and I loved you,
465
00:15:47,005 --> 00:15:49,430
and you just...
you just said, "Ditto."
466
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:52,341
I wanted today
to be important and special
467
00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:55,011
for us as sisters,
but I guess if you just want
468
00:15:55,029 --> 00:15:57,180
to be more like co-workers...
(whimpers)
469
00:15:57,198 --> 00:16:00,941
Maybe we weren't meant to,
uh, churn butter together,
470
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,461
or whatever Alaskan women
did back in the day.
471
00:16:03,612 --> 00:16:06,539
Okay, Judy, Judy, Judy,
slow down, all right?
472
00:16:06,615 --> 00:16:08,449
First of all, in the sharing
circle, I said, "Ditto."
473
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,543
You know, like Patrick Swayze
did in Ghost.
474
00:16:10,695 --> 00:16:11,711
I've never seen it.
475
00:16:11,863 --> 00:16:12,695
Oh, Judy, no.
476
00:16:12,788 --> 00:16:13,805
Well, we got to watch that movie
477
00:16:14,032 --> 00:16:15,381
and the rest
of the Swayze collection.
478
00:16:15,533 --> 00:16:17,366
But his character, Sam,
says "ditto" to his wife
479
00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:19,143
because his feelings for her
are so big,
480
00:16:19,295 --> 00:16:20,645
he can't put them into words.
481
00:16:20,872 --> 00:16:21,962
Do you...
482
00:16:22,056 --> 00:16:23,539
think of me as a sister?
483
00:16:23,632 --> 00:16:24,983
Of course I do, Judy.
484
00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:27,134
And today
was important and special
485
00:16:27,212 --> 00:16:27,986
because we were together.
486
00:16:28,062 --> 00:16:29,895
-It was?
-It was.
487
00:16:30,048 --> 00:16:31,214
Thanks, Honeybee.
488
00:16:31,307 --> 00:16:33,157
And, honestly, those boobs--
489
00:16:33,309 --> 00:16:35,476
they really did
make today unforgettable.
490
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,144
That was so weird.
But, I mean,
491
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,239
the website made Phoenix Phlying
Festival sound so great,
492
00:16:40,391 --> 00:16:41,907
but it was all just a trick.
493
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,484
Is feminism bad?
494
00:16:43,578 --> 00:16:45,578
No way. It's just that
feminism used to be, like,
495
00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:47,839
three British ladies trying
to get the vote or something,
496
00:16:48,066 --> 00:16:50,233
and now it's huge.
And that's a good thing.
497
00:16:50,251 --> 00:16:52,401
But, also, now that it's this
big, it's grown to include
498
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:54,345
scam artists
and weird white guys.
499
00:16:54,572 --> 00:16:56,239
They find their way
into everything.
500
00:16:56,257 --> 00:16:57,590
Eventually, you'll figure out
how to gravitate
501
00:16:57,759 --> 00:17:00,184
toward the good version of
feminism and avoid the grifters.
502
00:17:00,336 --> 00:17:02,503
-I believe in you.
-Thanks, Honeybee.
503
00:17:02,597 --> 00:17:05,023
-Wait, no, we're tipping! Aah!
-(yelling)
504
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,194
-Aah! Huh?
-Aah! What?
505
00:17:10,346 --> 00:17:11,529
BEV:
Everyone okay in there?
506
00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:13,756
We saw you guys go in here.
507
00:17:13,775 --> 00:17:15,033
Come on, come on, get out.
508
00:17:15,184 --> 00:17:16,850
This thing's heavy.
Let's go!
509
00:17:16,928 --> 00:17:17,851
Thank you for saving us.
510
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,428
No problem.
It's like they say:
511
00:17:19,447 --> 00:17:20,854
there's a special place in hell
512
00:17:20,948 --> 00:17:23,933
for women who let other women
tip over in porta-potties.
513
00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:25,451
Okay, here they come.
Everybody ready?
514
00:17:25,603 --> 00:17:28,120
-(high-pitched): Mm-hmm.
-Oh, perfect voice, Jer.
515
00:17:28,273 --> 00:17:29,622
You sound just like a stepmom.
516
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,791
-(knocking)
-Entrez.
517
00:17:31,943 --> 00:17:35,035
Hi, Shandor!
(laughs) I'm Zelda.
518
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:36,612
Oh, you're in your bear suit.
519
00:17:36,631 --> 00:17:38,038
Yes, I'm hibernating.
520
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,557
Well, you better go.
521
00:17:39,784 --> 00:17:42,209
I'm very tired because of
my Japanese robot cooking work.
522
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,546
Yeah, we ought to wrap this up
and let Mom get back to, uh...
523
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,548
Oh, you simply must remove
your bear mask.
524
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,549
ALL:
No!
525
00:17:48,643 --> 00:17:50,126
Uh, she can't, 'cause, uh,
526
00:17:50,144 --> 00:17:51,885
she was in a horrible accident.
527
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,979
Yeah, she was mauled
by one of her bear colleagues.
528
00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,573
(high-pitched):
Mm-hmm.
529
00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:56,649
Oh, I can handle it.
530
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,076
I was actually a nurse
for years.
531
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,653
Well, I was pretending to be
a nurse, to steal medicine.
532
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:01,895
-(laughs)
-(doorbell rings)
533
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,447
Oh, the doorbell.
The doorbell is ringing.
534
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,974
We have to answer it
immediately.
535
00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:06,642
Uh, here we go, everyone.
536
00:18:06,661 --> 00:18:08,086
Let's go. Bye, Shandor.
537
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,495
Yep. Everybody out.
Bye, Mom.
538
00:18:09,647 --> 00:18:11,997
Okay, everybody out,
everybody out.
539
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:13,165
Oh, hello.
540
00:18:13,318 --> 00:18:14,834
I'm Beef's wife, Alyson.
541
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,594
I'm sorry, you're Beef's wife?
542
00:18:16,745 --> 00:18:19,246
Oh, I can... I can explain.
Uh...
543
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,490
-Uh-oh. This is bad.
-KYLE: Beef,
544
00:18:21,509 --> 00:18:22,658
I'm also your wife.
545
00:18:22,751 --> 00:18:23,935
I'm ready for sex now.
546
00:18:24,086 --> 00:18:25,103
What do you know.
Me too.
547
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:26,753
But just the wife part,
not the sex.
548
00:18:26,848 --> 00:18:29,590
Mm, probably shouldn't
have left so many voicemails.
549
00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:31,500
Beef, what in the world?
550
00:18:31,594 --> 00:18:32,668
I guess the jig is up.
551
00:18:32,761 --> 00:18:35,171
It most certainly is.
552
00:18:35,264 --> 00:18:37,598
You have
a beautiful wife inside,
553
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:41,177
a good-hearted international
chef who still finds time
554
00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:43,103
to do valuable research
on bears.
555
00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:44,622
Yet here you are,
556
00:18:44,773 --> 00:18:47,867
clearly cheating on her with
all these other secret wives?
557
00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:49,776
Well, you caught me.
558
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:53,614
Aw. I am a very bad man whom
you should not want to marry.
559
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,449
Shame on you, Dad.
560
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,468
I'm sorry, Beef,
but I'm leaving.
561
00:18:57,695 --> 00:18:59,211
And I'm taking
my microwave back.
562
00:18:59,364 --> 00:19:00,621
Don't try to stop me.
563
00:19:00,715 --> 00:19:02,640
Who was that?
She seems great.
564
00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:05,977
(sighs) Looks like it's just
us again, my beautiful sons.
565
00:19:06,128 --> 00:19:08,479
Well, have a safe drive
back to Chickaloon.
566
00:19:08,631 --> 00:19:11,707
I am sincerely sorry that you
came all this way for nothing.
567
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,376
It's not a total loss.
568
00:19:13,469 --> 00:19:14,894
I mean, Shandor is amazing.
569
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,379
I'm gonna look her up
on Facebook.
570
00:19:16,472 --> 00:19:18,138
And, hey,
if all your wives divorce you
571
00:19:18,232 --> 00:19:19,565
by the time we're 50,
572
00:19:19,642 --> 00:19:22,051
let's give this marriage pact
thing another try.
573
00:19:22,069 --> 00:19:23,810
Yes. Perfect. Great.
574
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,055
No! No, no, no.
575
00:19:26,224 --> 00:19:27,740
(groans)
Well,
576
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:28,833
big news, boys--
577
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,060
in nine years and 364 days,
578
00:19:31,153 --> 00:19:32,411
we're moving to Florida.
579
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,563
Whew, thanks for getting us
out of that porta-potty.
580
00:19:34,582 --> 00:19:36,582
Yeah, I was feeling
bummed out about feminism
581
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,402
and then you ladies showed up
to literally support us.
582
00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:41,420
Happy to do it.
You guys want your phones back?
583
00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:44,015
We saw where they stashed 'em
earlier, so we grabbed 'em.
584
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,424
Two fewer
to sell at the pawn shop.
585
00:19:45,593 --> 00:19:47,410
But we like you guys
so it's okay.
586
00:19:47,428 --> 00:19:49,187
Ooh, looks like our Uber
is only a minute away.
587
00:19:49,338 --> 00:19:50,855
Do you guys want a ride?
588
00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:53,840
Nah. Bev's ferret-sitter
was happy to come swoop us up.
589
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,526
-Smell you guys later.
-Bye.
590
00:19:55,753 --> 00:19:59,088
Well, I'm definitely adding
them to my Christmas card list.
591
00:19:59,181 --> 00:20:00,031
Oh, yeah.
I loved them.
592
00:20:00,182 --> 00:20:01,348
I do feel like that ferret
593
00:20:01,426 --> 00:20:02,942
should have been
wearing a helmet, though.
594
00:20:03,094 --> 00:20:04,702
All right, boys, let's head out.
595
00:20:04,929 --> 00:20:06,853
I'm hurtin' for some gherkins.
596
00:20:06,948 --> 00:20:09,615
I'm gonna get my cornichon on.
597
00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:11,191
Let's cuke till we puke.
598
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,544
I would like to try
one of those pickle rhymes.
599
00:20:13,696 --> 00:20:14,879
Go for it, Dad.
600
00:20:15,106 --> 00:20:17,106
I would kill for a dill.
601
00:20:17,124 --> 00:20:18,791
(laughs)
Good one.
602
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,292
Hey, is that Judy and Honeybee?
603
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,278
They weren't supposed
to be back for hours.
604
00:20:22,296 --> 00:20:24,055
Hey, guys.
How was Sisters Day?
605
00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:27,558
Oh, boy. Well, there was
a multilevel marketing scheme
606
00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:28,801
and a huge perv
607
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,953
and big old boobs
that came down from the sky,
608
00:20:30,972 --> 00:20:32,621
and we almost fell over
in a porta-potty.
609
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:33,731
It was perfect.
610
00:20:33,882 --> 00:20:35,458
Wait, were you guys
going somewhere?
611
00:20:35,551 --> 00:20:36,934
Whipple's Pickles.
You two want to join?
612
00:20:37,086 --> 00:20:39,812
Uh, yes. Let's get some bread
and butter in these mothers.
613
00:20:39,964 --> 00:20:42,648
Oh, boy, I sure hope
their Nickelback cover band,
614
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,075
Picklesnack, is playing today.
615
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,652
WOLF:
♪ This is how you remind me ♪
616
00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:48,729
♪ Of what I like to eat. ♪
617
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:49,638
Pickles.
618
00:20:49,732 --> 00:20:51,974
♪ Alphonso and Ned ♪
619
00:20:51,993 --> 00:20:54,477
♪ We're off
to fight the aliens ♪
620
00:20:54,495 --> 00:20:57,738
♪ Though we might
be ripped to shreds ♪
621
00:20:57,832 --> 00:21:01,166
♪ It's time to man-doll up and
leave the safety of our beds ♪
622
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,910
♪ We're not tough,
we're cotton and fluff ♪
623
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,597
♪ And we're very,
very flammable ♪
624
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,992
♪ We've never
left our mom before ♪
625
00:21:10,011 --> 00:21:11,251
♪ Will this be
too much to handle? ♪
626
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:12,603
♪ This our time to shine ♪
627
00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:13,920
♪ And that's why ♪
628
00:21:13,998 --> 00:21:15,514
♪ We're on the front line ♪
629
00:21:15,666 --> 00:21:18,609
♪ Alphonso and Ned,
Alphonso and Ned ♪
630
00:21:18,761 --> 00:21:20,444
♪ Alphonso and Ned. ♪
631
00:21:20,596 --> 00:21:22,505
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
632
00:21:22,523 --> 00:21:24,991
and TOYOTA.