1 00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:05,240 -[man on TV] There is now a danger... -It's on! Ritchie! 2 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:06,840 ...that has become a threat to us all. 3 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:10,720 It is a deadly disease and there is no known cure. 4 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:13,360 -Is that the BBC? -The virus can be passed 5 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,680 during sexual intercourse with an infected person. 6 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:20,160 Anyone can get it, man or woman. 7 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:25,760 So far it's been confined to small groups, but it's spreading... 8 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:28,400 so protect yourself... 9 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:29,840 My mother's watching this. 10 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,520 ...and read this leaflet when it arrives. 11 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,600 If you ignore AIDS, it could be the death of you, 12 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:37,560 so don't die of ignorance. 13 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,160 -All right. -All right. 14 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,280 All right then. 15 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,160 -[music starts] -Oh, I love him. 16 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,120 -♪ ...and you know it, clap your hands ♪ -[crowd claps] 17 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,560 ♪ Sweet dreams are made of this ♪ 18 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:00,520 ♪ Who am I to disagree? ♪ 19 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,280 ♪ I travel the world and the seven seas ♪ 20 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,920 ♪ Everybody's looking for something ♪ 21 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,880 ♪ Some of them want to use you ♪ 22 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:15,840 ♪ Some of them want to get used by you ♪ 23 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,920 ♪ Some of them want to abuse you ♪ 24 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:23,680 ♪ ...gavest, Lord, is ended ♪ 25 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:30,720 ♪ The darkness falls at thy behest ♪ 26 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:36,000 [vicar] And we will always remember Peter as a man of great enthusiasm, 27 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:41,480 his love of languages, he loved travelling, he loved good food, 28 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:45,600 and let's not forget he had a lifelong passion for cars. 29 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:51,840 He spent years restoring that old MG and when it was done, he sold it. 30 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,160 He said, "I'm ready for the next project," 31 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,200 and that was him, always looking ahead. 32 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,440 And that's a fine way to remember him: 33 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:07,240 as a wonderful son, a fine brother to Ruth and a loving uncle to Steven and Grace. 34 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,680 -Now, if you'd like to-- -And boyfriend to Nicholas. 35 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,720 -What? -[vicar] I'm sorry, 36 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,800 but, ah, if we could just continue, thank you. 37 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:19,800 He was boyfriend to Nick Jacobs for six years. 38 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,000 You can't leave him out like he doesn't exist. 39 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,600 I'm really very sorry, but it's not the time or the place. 40 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,520 Oh, yes, it is. Nick isn't even here because you banned him. 41 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,920 He loved your son, Mrs Burrows, 42 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,880 -all the way to the end. -For God's sake. 43 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,760 -What's wrong with that? -Shame on you. 44 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,520 Shame on you! Can't you leave us alone for one day of our lives. 45 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,880 -We knew him. -[vicar] Stop or I'll ask you to leave. 46 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,640 -We knew who he really was. -This is my mother sitting here-- 47 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,240 -You all know what it was. -You are all dirty people! 48 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,560 I love it. 49 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:50,200 [Ritchie] I think it's their son's funeral, for God's sake. 50 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:53,280 -Of all the days to have a go at them. -Don't be so pathetic, Ritchie. 51 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,000 No, his mother's devastated, be fair. 52 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,480 Do you know what she did, his mother, his lovely mum? 53 00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:59,160 She chucked him out onto the street, 54 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,800 changed the locks, put his stuff in bin bags and threw it away. 55 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:05,200 They took the dog, Ritchie. They took the fucking dog. 56 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,080 And there's just nothing we can do. 57 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,560 Nick's got no legal standing whatsoever. 58 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,440 He's not a widow, he's not an ex. He's just nothing. 59 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,440 -[Jill] Look out. -[Uncle Bill] You bastard. 60 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,280 Don't start a fight. 61 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,360 I'm the one doing everything wrong, am I? 62 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,920 We're going. Come on. 63 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,040 See you, boys. Mmm. 64 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,720 -When's Curtis? -Thirty-first. 65 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,560 He's being buried in Camberley. It's a two-hour drive, so I'll do maps. 66 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:32,040 And see you the 25th? Don't miss it. We need numbers. 67 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,440 -I can't. -Come on. 68 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:34,760 We need everyone. 69 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,400 You know why I can't do that in public, I just can't. 70 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,160 Why? What do you do? 71 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,240 I'm an actor. 72 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,120 That's impressive. 73 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,120 You... you, you bastards! 74 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,040 -You bastards! -Thanks. 75 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,040 -[Paul] Karl, come on, no. All right. -[Karl] Whoa, whoa. 76 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,120 [Karl] Stop it now. 77 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,440 [Christine] Here they come. 78 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,600 -The kettle's on! -I thought you'd gone home. 79 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:00,960 -You promised me. -We delayed one more day. 80 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:02,560 She's been cooking. 81 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,640 You've all been through such a terrible time, 82 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,120 I wanted to do something. 83 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,560 I tried to make goulash. It's turned into more of a curry. 84 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:10,960 Bathroom's mine. 85 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,320 -How was it? -Awful. 86 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,560 Absolutely awful. 87 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,560 -Aw. -Thanks, Mum. 88 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,400 Don't go home. Stay for 16 weeks if you want. 89 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,800 You shouldn't be going to funerals at your age. 90 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,520 Here's my girl. 91 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,640 -Oh, God, me too. Look out. -[all laugh] 92 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,840 If we had heterosexual boys dying in these numbers, 93 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,200 the world would have stopped. 94 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,440 There'd be uproar. There'd be riots. 95 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,720 That's what we're doing on the 25th. Direct action. 96 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,720 Like they did in America, out on the streets. 97 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,120 Don't get yourself in trouble. 98 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,520 Princess Di gave a handshake. Can't you just do something like that? 99 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,560 Do you know the worst thing about it, the absolute worst, 100 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:53,080 it's that every single conversation has to go on and on about AIDS. 101 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,440 -Oh, I'm sorry. -Don't be so rude. 102 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,400 It's all we ever hear. 103 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,880 I came to London when I was 18, and I thought, "Great, I can be gay." 104 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,040 -But then I just end up as this problem. -That's my fault. That's me. 105 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,200 I'm just saying, one night off. 106 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,600 Well, we have got news. 107 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,360 I didn't wanna say, 'cause you're only gonna worry, 108 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,440 but... 109 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,040 we think we can buy this place, get a mortgage on the Pink Palace, 110 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,320 -me and Ritchie. -[Christine] Can you afford it? 111 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,960 You see? I said you'd worry. 112 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,760 We asked Mr Santini, and he said he'd sell for 42,000. 113 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:29,120 £42,000? For a flat? 114 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,840 It's not bad for London, but my show's gonna keep running. 115 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,600 We've got bookings up to summer '89, so that's a guaranteed income. 116 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,040 And I'm earning enough, just about. 117 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,840 It's not constant work, but I make about 7,000 a year. 118 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:43,480 Can you get a mortgage though? Are you allowed one, as a gay man? 119 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,600 Are you a homosexual? 120 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,720 -No. -No. 121 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,240 You ever had an HIV test? 122 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:50,520 -No. -No. 123 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,680 Have you ever shared a bed with another man? 124 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:53,760 No. 125 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:56,240 They never asked, so that's all done, 126 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,640 and we'll get rent off these annoying lodgers. 127 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,840 We'll draw up proper contracts and all that stuff. 128 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,720 -We'll be ruthless. -Hmm, my cruel landlord. I like it. 129 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:05,720 Au revoir. 130 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,600 Here she is, Queen of the Nile. 131 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:12,120 Mm, enjoy your feast. I shall not return until the morn. 132 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,480 Don't forget the kitty. We need to stock up tomorrow. 133 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,320 Ooh, my great delight, madame. 134 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:22,920 Please, avail yourself of my felicitudes. 135 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,920 Is that a word? It is now. 136 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,160 Bloody hell. You sure you got enough? Whatever you're doing, give us a job. 137 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,080 -I don't think you'd like it, Dad. -Uh, hey, I work hard for this. 138 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,240 You get hard for it. 139 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,040 Ugh, peasant scum. Farewell. 140 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,320 [all laugh] 141 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,440 So what does he do? 142 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,280 Question is, who does he do? 143 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,640 [upbeat music playing] 144 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,120 Could I have a vodka? 145 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:10,320 [Arthur] So I said, "If boroughs already have the capacity to opt out, 146 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:11,400 what's the problem?" 147 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,840 [Timothy] You cannot assume any wisdom on the part of these people, Arthur. 148 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,600 And that's the point. Let him finish. 149 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:21,200 The point is with a system as ramshackle as the ILEA, 150 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,840 no one knows what's what. 151 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,000 The word is an alliance. 152 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,880 I've been told an alliance between Tebbit and Heseltine, 153 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,360 a pact made in hell. 154 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,800 Good God above, there is shaking in the heavens. 155 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,560 How in earth do they find any common ground? 156 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:42,360 Dark magic is abroad. That's all I can say, dark magic. 157 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,560 So it's doomed. The ILEA is doomed. 158 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:49,440 Every London borough now becomes its own authority, 159 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:53,800 and that means an influx of cash waiting to be scooped up. 160 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:57,680 So you stay on top, Tim, and you could be quids in. 161 00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,120 [Timothy] Oh, cheers. 162 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,000 -Chin-chin. -Good health. 163 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:08,560 I think we've seen that suit five or six times now. 164 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:10,880 Get something new, hmm? 165 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,200 You're gonna need something rather special for the 25th. 166 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:16,440 I'm busy that day. 167 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,000 -Can I ask, don't be? -Why? What's happening? 168 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,160 -I'm not allowed to say. -Don't tell me then. 169 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:26,880 No, I'm-- I'm not allowed to say, as a matter of national security. 170 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,720 Just keep the day free, hmm? 171 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,880 But, more importantly, I thought you could be Nanny tonight. 172 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,360 Can't I be Mellors? 173 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,640 I think Nanny's cross with me. 174 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,800 Okay. Naughty boy. 175 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,000 I'm serious about the 25th. 176 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,520 Parents can come. We need as many people as we can get. 177 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,160 Okay. Sleep well. 178 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:53,680 Love you. 179 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:56,880 -Bye. -Bye. 180 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:57,960 [Alan] Bye. 181 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:05,800 Goodnight, Duchess. 182 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:08,320 I'll tidy up. 183 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:30,400 [Ritchie] I just need to know if you're HIV-- And that's if, okay? If. 184 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:34,480 Is there anything you can take to stop HIV becoming AIDS? 185 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,360 [man] And have you been tested for HIV? 186 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:41,640 No, but that's not the point. What about AZT? Can I buy that? 187 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,160 No, I'm sorry, it's not for sale. And it's not a cure. 188 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,600 But I'm trying everything. 189 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,480 They said eggs help the immune system. 190 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:51,360 They say flaxseed, that's supposed to be good for you, 191 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,560 and lecithin granules in melted butter, they say it fights HIV. 192 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:55,680 [man] You should be tested. 193 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:56,960 And piss. 194 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:00,720 Everyone says drinking your own piss makes you stronger. 195 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:05,680 Someone said there's this man, he had HIV and he was cured, 196 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:09,600 he stopped AIDS by taking battery acid. Is that true? 197 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:13,720 [man] Please don't try that. Please don't try anything dangerous. 198 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,800 It's acid. 199 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,920 It could hurt you. It could kill you. 200 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,760 [retches] 201 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,680 [man] You need to get yourself tested. 202 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:34,400 Please listen to me. Please get a test. 203 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,120 Are you there? 204 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,560 The problem is the 25th. 205 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:46,040 The committee's hosting an exhibition reaching out worldwide, 206 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:50,320 so we've got displays from France and New Zealand and Portugal, 207 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,680 but one thing we're really short of is coloured faces. 208 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,760 -Well, here I am, massa. -Stop it. 209 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,400 We'd just, you know, have more balance if you were there 210 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,880 and there is something of a bonus. 211 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:08,440 I'm told that the exhibition will be visited by the Lady. 212 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:09,520 No way. 213 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:13,000 Timetable says that Maggie's due to arrive at 11:00 a.m. on the dot. 214 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,120 And I've just gotta... be black? 215 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,880 You won't actually be meeting her, Roscoe. 216 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,880 You're just there to be visible, but this could do us both a bit of good. 217 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,880 I don't think Mrs Thatcher's particularly aware of me, 218 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:29,400 but given a slight nudge, all those contacts in France could pay off. 219 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,720 Visit to Paris would be nice. Would you like that? 220 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,040 -Just the two of us? -Yeah. 221 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,160 -No one would know you over there. -Good. 222 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:38,800 We could walk down the street. 223 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,640 I'd like that. Yeah. Merci. 224 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:43,720 Mm-hmm. 225 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,520 And if you sign there. 226 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,640 And you sign there. 227 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,600 I think we're done. That's it. Congratulations. 228 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,680 [all screaming] 229 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,760 [upbeat music playing] 230 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:12,640 Careful, that's mine. 231 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,360 Oh, and watch your jeans on the wall. Denim leaves a mark. 232 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,840 This is my property now. 233 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,800 So they said it could be six month's work 234 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,000 'cause this teacher's having a hip replacement, 235 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,760 and I'm thinking, "Great, proper job," 236 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,160 and it's got 2,000 pupils and it is rough as hell, but that's okay. 237 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:34,480 Except I walk in, I report to the office and I get shown around by Mr Crane. 238 00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:36,760 -And these are the pigeon holes. -[bell rings] 239 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:37,960 The head likes a memo, 240 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,440 [Ash imitating Mr Crane] so check them every day but not too often. 241 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,000 We know what you're like, you lot. 242 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,360 Fiddling with your holes. 243 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,880 [gasps] He did not. 244 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:49,240 But how do they know? All I did was walk in, said, "Hello." 245 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:53,440 Best behaviour, but they just know, read us, they can smell it. 246 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,920 -Walked on with... -[laughing] 247 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,680 And that's just the beginning 'cause then he takes me into the library. 248 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,960 And he said, "I thought perfect job for you. 249 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,560 Make a start in here... 250 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,080 ...removing inappropriate material. 251 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,160 Like what? 252 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,960 [imitating Mr Crane] "Clause 28. 253 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,080 We have to remove any books or material 254 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,080 that might be promoting a homosexual lifestyle." 255 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,280 [Jill] Bloody hell. 256 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,000 -You see, they're burning books. -Yes. 257 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,440 -So what did you do? -No choice. 258 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,600 I could get sacked for saying one gay thing out loud in school, 259 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,760 so I... did as I was told. 260 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,080 How's it going? 261 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,440 [sarcastic] Great, fine, good. 262 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,240 And what did you find? 263 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,520 Nothing. "What do you mean, nothing?" 264 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:35,320 I mean, nothing. I found nothing. 265 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,480 I checked Shakespeare, nothing. 266 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:40,160 You might get versions on the stage that get a bit fruity with men in togas, 267 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,160 but you need to ban the director, not the book, 268 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:43,760 'cause in the whole of Shakespeare, 269 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,680 there's not one man with a man, not one woman with a woman. Dickens. 270 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,040 Nothing. He wrote about the rich and the poor 271 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,400 and dwarves and saints and orphans and ghosts, 272 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,640 not one homosexual, not anywhere. 273 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,760 Jane Austen did not write about lesbians. 274 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,600 -Sorry, Sal. -[all laughing] 275 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:04,200 I checked the history books. So what if Julius Caesar and Aristotle 276 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,200 and Alexander The Great had the odd little fling with a catamite... 277 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,640 not according to the school books, they didn't. 278 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,880 I looked at Asterix and Tintin. 279 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:15,120 I looked at Disney and sport and the Bible. 280 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,200 I looked at the Talmud and the Quran and the Guinness Book of Records. 281 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,640 I looked at all the vast halls of literature 282 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:24,760 and culture and science and art, and there is not the slightest danger... 283 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,440 of any child ever being infected, 284 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:30,000 'cause there's not one gay man or woman anywhere. 285 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:34,640 There is nothing. There is nothing. That's what you're protecting them from. 286 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,200 -Nothing. -[whooping] 287 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,960 But what did you really say? 288 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,320 There's a couple of Mary Renault's. 289 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,320 -That is just appalling. -That's Margaret Thatcher. 290 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,360 That's her law. You voted for her. 291 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,440 -I'm just gonna say-- -Oh, here he goes. 292 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:55,760 No, but if you're gonna write a book about two gay fathers for five year olds, 293 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,080 -I think that's wrong. -Have you read it? 294 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,400 -You are terrible. -It's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong. 295 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,120 [sighs] 296 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,720 [sighs] 297 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,920 You old Tory. [laughs] 298 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,440 [laughing] Hey, that's me. 299 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,120 [sighs] Hmm. 300 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,120 Nice party. 301 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,320 It was great. 302 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,800 Haven't done this in a while. 303 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:42,880 [laughs, sighs] 304 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:47,600 [sighs] 305 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:16,440 No? 306 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,520 Ah... I'm tired. 307 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:20,800 Do you-- Do you wanna try? 308 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:22,640 I'm okay. 309 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:24,880 [whispering] Okay. 310 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:26,440 Can I stay? 311 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,080 I'm really knackered. 312 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,360 Okay. I can wait. 313 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:35,560 What does that mean? 314 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,600 You're not waiting for me, are you? 315 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,080 Don't know. 316 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:45,400 Might do. 317 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:49,640 Goodnight. 318 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:17,840 [woman] Floor two. 319 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,080 [shouting] All right. Surround the air lock. 320 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,280 All weapons primed, settings to maximum. 321 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:26,640 [woman] Floor one. 322 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,400 [shouting] They're breaking through, sir. Ten seconds and counting. 323 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,920 Remember, if they get through, we lose the crystal 324 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,840 and if we lose that, it's the end of the world. 325 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,200 [woman] Floor zero. 326 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:39,240 [Dalek] Exterminate, exterminate. 327 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,120 [shouting] Open fire. 328 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,480 [chanting] Exterminate, exterminate. 329 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,000 What's that? Okay. We can cut there. Thanks, everyone. 330 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,520 Nicely done, but we're gonna go again. Let's reset. 331 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,560 Ritchie, it'll take a while, so we're just gonna pick up a close-up on you. 332 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,640 -Is that okay? -Yeah, sure, which bit? 333 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:00,040 Uh, lose the crystal, lose the world, just stay there and thank you. 334 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:03,240 Okay, just stay on that spot. We need to make you look gorgeous. 335 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,040 That's a lot of work. [laughs] 336 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,840 [man] One second off. 337 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,320 -Ray! -[Ray] Yeah? 338 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,000 We need to open up 15. 339 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:18,160 [Ray] Will do! 340 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,680 [man] Great. Thank you. 341 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,400 Something wrong with your skin. 342 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,360 [doctor] Martin Pascoe, please. 343 00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:07,960 I've had a look and the result seems to be definite. 344 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:13,560 I'm sorry to say you've passed the threshold into a diagnosis of AIDS. 345 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,000 Do you know what that means? 346 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,600 Yes, I do. 347 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,640 Okay, we've got quite a few ways of approaching this, 348 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,960 and we're getting new information all the time. 349 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,160 -I think we can start-- -That's all right. 350 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,640 I live in a house full of experts. It's all we talk about all day long. 351 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,320 -There's a programme which can-- -I know, I know. 352 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,000 [inhales] I know, okay, I really do know. 353 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,760 You're not telling me anything I don't know already. 354 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,480 Okay. Perhaps I can ask... 355 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:45,960 what is it that you know? 356 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,560 It's a death sentence. 357 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,120 I don't think you should be on your own at time like this. 358 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,920 Have you got anyone? 359 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:55,800 [fading out] At home? 360 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,320 Friends or family? 361 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,480 [seagulls chirping] 362 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,280 Hello? 363 00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:54,360 [door opens] 364 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,440 What are you doing here? 365 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,760 Bit early to get home from work. Are you skiving? 366 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:06,600 It's gonna be all about you now. "Ritchie's home. Here we go." Great. 367 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:17,040 Well... good God. 368 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,120 Hello. Oh. 369 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,160 Don't be so ridiculous. 370 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,520 That is a surprise. What are you doing home? 371 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:27,600 Hello. 372 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,880 -What's wrong? -Nothing. 373 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,120 Something smells nice. 374 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,880 Come on. What's happened? What's wrong? 375 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,360 Nothing. I said. 376 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,440 There's a few people from school going out this weekend, 377 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:43,120 so I said I'd come too, and I thought I'd cook the tea, which is nice of me. 378 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,640 I saw those steaks and I chopped them up. Is that okay? 379 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:49,280 Well, there's a difference between steak and casserole steak, but never mind. 380 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:51,920 We'll have a very expensive stew. [laughs] 381 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,520 It's nice to see you. 382 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:57,880 -And there's nothing wrong? -No. 383 00:21:58,880 --> 00:21:59,880 Hmm. 384 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,200 Bloody hell. 385 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,960 Jesus Christ, what's this? 386 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,360 Could've warned me. The hell are you doing home? 387 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,520 Oh, Mum phoned you and told you at work, so don't pretend. 388 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,480 What is it then? What's wrong? 389 00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:25,600 How much is it gonna cost me? 390 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:31,200 Oh, Gary Blades at work, his daughter said she saw you in that Sunshine play. 391 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,080 -Said you were very good. -Oh, that's nice. 392 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,760 She also said you were onstage for about ten minutes. 393 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,560 Do the people with bigger parts get paid more? 394 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,040 -Yeah. -There you are. 395 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:46,120 Get bigger parts. And hurry up, I'm starving. 396 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,400 Ready. 397 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,600 [Clive] Hold on a tick, let me finish this. 398 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,160 [Valerie] You can do this more often. 399 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,040 Lucy, come on. Your brother wants to poison you. 400 00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:21,200 There's no escape! 401 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,200 -What, are you not eating? -No, I'm going out. 402 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:27,680 I thought we were having a meal. 403 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,000 There's some of us meeting up for a drink. I've got to go. Sorry. 404 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,840 Sit down, have dinner with your mum, for God's sake. 405 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,520 No, I'm going down the Farmer's Arms. I said so. 406 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,680 No, you can stop, sit down and have tea with us. 407 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,320 Your silly little friends can wait. 408 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,840 Stop racing off and give us 20 minutes for your mother's sake, okay? 409 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,920 Yeah, well, you can fuck off. 410 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:45,560 What did you just say? 411 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,720 -Oh, that's very clever. -Hey, come back here. 412 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,040 -What have you done now? -Come and say that to my face. 413 00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:51,720 I won't have that in this house! 414 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,760 -[music playing] -[chattering] 415 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,320 -[bartender] What can I get you? -Pint of Burt's, thank you. 416 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,160 Hey, nice to see you, Ritchie. 417 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,600 Martin. Still here then. 418 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:28,960 How's things? 419 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,440 Oh, yeah, you know, not bad. And you? 420 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:33,840 -Good to see you. -And you. 421 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,120 Sorry, bit busy. 422 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,440 [song plays] 423 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,720 -Did you hear about Donna Marie? -Oh, God, I did, yeah. 424 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,080 -Drugs. -I know. 425 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,920 It's always the quiet girls like that. 426 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,960 They sit there in school doing their homework 427 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,120 and behaving and not having a drink or anything 428 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,320 and looking at the rest of us like we're maniacs, 429 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,680 then they leave home and they haven't got a clue. 430 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,160 One drink and bang, they're off their heads. 431 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:42,520 It happens every time. 432 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,040 I always thought she was nice. 433 00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:46,280 Oh, w-well, she is, she was. 434 00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:48,320 I don't know, I haven't seen her for years. 435 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,360 -You're an actor, they said. -Yeah. 436 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:51,520 What sort of thing? 437 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:56,720 Oh, things. I was on TV. I-I did an episode of One By One. 438 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,160 Nah, don't know it. 439 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:00,840 Keep going though, you know. Don't give up. 440 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,280 -[bartender] Night, Martin. -Night. 441 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,080 -[Martin] Nowhere to go? -Are you driving home? 442 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:17,200 Yeah. 443 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,200 We're still in that same house, up by the bridge. 444 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,680 -Can I have a lift? -Yeah, suppose. 445 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,840 That's great. Thank you. 446 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,520 Oh, do you remember? Every single party 447 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,120 we'd end up going down the beach, all of us, every weekend. 448 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,840 We should do it now, for old time's sake, let's get some beer 449 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,600 -and go to the beach. -No, I'm driving. 450 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,520 Oh, don't be so boring. You can have one, just one beer. 451 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,160 Stop at that offy on Brookdale that's open late. I'll pay. 452 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,600 Just this once. I never come home. Go on, Martin, please. 453 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,440 The thing I don't get is, how do you become an actor? 454 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,720 Like, do you have to learn plays, like, off by heart? 455 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,120 Do you have to learn Hamlet? 456 00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,720 Well, only if you're in Hamlet. 457 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,320 So if someone playing Hamlet dropped dead tomorrow, 458 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,760 could you then walk onto the stage and be him? 459 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,280 No, I haven't learned it already. 460 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,320 Well, so how do you know? What to learn? 461 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,880 It's not like that. You go to college to learn everything, 462 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:15,120 'cause they teach you rhythm and speech and sword-fighting. We did fencing. 463 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,360 Oh, that's good. 464 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:17,880 They teach you that for stunts. 465 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,400 -Could you be a stuntman? -I could. Yeah. 466 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:22,880 -That's a great job. -[laughs] 467 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:26,840 And you learn movement, and how to carry yourself, you do dance. 468 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,360 [laughs] What, like ballet? 469 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:32,160 -We did a bit of ballet, yeah. -[laughs] What? 470 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:35,760 -You-- You did ballet in the tights? -No. 471 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,280 Are you a ballet dancer? 472 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:41,680 [laughs] We just did the basics and anyway, I was good. I can plié. 473 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,320 [laughs] Oh, Jesus. 474 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,040 You can talk, you did that school play in a pair of shorts. 475 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:49,800 No, I was being a rugby player, with no lines. 476 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,920 Only did that 'cause we got lessons off. It wasn't ballet. 477 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:55,600 You looked good. 478 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:58,240 You looked amazing. 479 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,680 I kept thinking you looked sexy. [chuckles] 480 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,200 It's funny, I look back and I really fancied you. 481 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,400 -Is that okay? -Yeah. 482 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:11,480 'Cause, you know... 483 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:17,480 I live in London now and I'm gay. Is that all right? 484 00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:19,760 It's not really a surprise. [laughs] 485 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:21,200 [laughs] Oh, my God. 486 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:22,840 -I mean, look at you. -[laughs] 487 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,000 Did you always know? 488 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:26,880 Dunno. 489 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:28,120 Did you know in school? 490 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,200 Well, I never gave it much thought. 491 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,000 I mean, it-- it doesn't bother me. 492 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,360 Just don't give me AIDS, that's all. [chuckles] 493 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,440 [laughing] Of course. 494 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,640 But I fancied you so much, Martin. 495 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,600 And I fancied Carl Bowman and Ratty 496 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,640 and that boy Simon Reynolds in the year above, 497 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,280 but you were the best. 498 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:53,760 I used to watch you all the time. 499 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:58,960 I used to think about you night and day, all those years in school, 500 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,040 going home every day and running upstairs and wanking about you. 501 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,360 -Okay, that's enough. -Literally thousands of wanks. 502 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:05,440 Really, that's enough. 503 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,640 Julie Renwick said she once went home with you in the lunch-time 504 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:09,280 and you had sex with her up against the fridge, 505 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:11,280 and I thought about that a million times. 506 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,400 I still do. I still think about it now. 507 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,120 -I still cum thinking about it. -You fucking stop, all right? 508 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:24,640 [Martin sniffs] 509 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:26,680 I'll drive you home. 510 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:34,240 I loved you. 511 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:44,880 I thought tonight, say hello, get you drunk, bring you down the beach. 512 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,000 And suck you off. 513 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:49,240 I'm not gay. 514 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,200 You could just lie back and close your eyes. 515 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,960 I mean, don't you wanna cum? Everybody wants to cum. 516 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,800 Who doesn't wanna cum? If you could cum right now, wouldn't you? 517 00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:58,960 What the hell is wrong with you? 518 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:00,720 Nothing. 519 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:03,600 This is really off, you know that? 520 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:06,480 Yeah. 521 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,120 You, you didn't come all the way back to the island just for this, did you? 522 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:15,520 No. 523 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:19,960 Well, do you know what, maybe I did. 524 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:22,480 [sighs] Oh, God. 525 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:26,160 Are you all right? 526 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,120 Let's go home. 527 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:34,600 You can drop me off here, thanks. 528 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,080 Don't go up to the house. You'll wake them up. 529 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:40,640 They're in bed by ten. Every single night. Bed by ten. 530 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:45,720 That was weird. 531 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:50,560 [whispering] Sorry. 532 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:54,920 You wanna be careful, Ritchie. 533 00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,360 Saying all that stuff. 534 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,040 Anyone else would punch your face in. 535 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:02,680 I'd punch them back. 536 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,000 -[laughs] And you would. -[laughs] 537 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,360 Anyway, go home. 538 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,000 -I'll see you around. -Nah. 539 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:17,240 Bet you won't. You're gonna be gone. 540 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,160 Any day now you're gonna be too posh for us lot 541 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:23,800 and you won't come home anymore. 542 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:25,840 You'll be off... 543 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,000 be in Hollywood... 544 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,720 be James Bond or Top Gun... 545 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:33,800 or Zorro. 546 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:35,840 [laughs] 547 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:37,360 Do you think? 548 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,840 Yeah, you'll be famous. 549 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,880 Do you know, I would love that. 550 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,520 There's nothing I would love more. 551 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,600 [whispering] But it's never gonna happen. 552 00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:00,480 I'm never gonna do those things. 553 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,600 I could have done anything. 554 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,040 [sobbing] But I never will now. 555 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,360 I never will. 556 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:12,920 You might. 557 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,800 [sobbing] I'll never be anything. Ever. 558 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:18,760 [cries] 559 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,280 Oh, God. 560 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,000 [sobbing] 561 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,520 Sorry. [sniffs, chuckles] 562 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:39,920 What is it? What's wrong? 563 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,120 [sighs] 564 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,520 It really was nice to see you. 565 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:47,160 Look after yourself. 566 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,680 Yeah. [whispering] Bye. 567 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:07,600 I'm just gonna say it would mean the world to me if you came. 568 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:09,800 Sorry, I've got a date. [sighs] 569 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:12,320 His Master's Voice. 570 00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:15,640 You ever gonna tell us who he is? 571 00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:17,800 No sign of Ritchie boy? 572 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:21,320 [Jill] Vanished. But he was never gonna come. 573 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:23,360 Never mind. 574 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:26,880 Colin would have loved that suit. 575 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:28,480 [chuckles] Yeah. 576 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:32,320 It's for him, all of this today. 577 00:34:33,720 --> 00:34:37,640 Yeah. Well, I lived with Colin in this room. 578 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:43,480 I lived with him and I loved him, and I watched him get up and go to work 579 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,680 and phone his mum and behave. 580 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:49,920 All his life, all he ever did was behave, and what happens? He died. 581 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,680 So I'm getting out of here, Jill. 582 00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,640 You can wave your flags all you like, but I'm moving up. 583 00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:01,480 [Paul] Sure about this, beanpole? 584 00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:03,480 It's not gonna look good for a teacher if we get arrested. 585 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,400 I'll risk it. Teaching stinks these days anyway. 586 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,320 -You really think we'll get arrested? -I hope so. That's the plan. 587 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:09,920 Pretty little Ritchie couldn't make it then. 588 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,800 Be fair. If he's seen as gay in public, he might never work again. 589 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:14,320 [Paul] All aboard, come on. 590 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:15,800 [Jill] How many of us in total? 591 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:20,320 Uh, they're coming from Reading and Salisbury. [sighs] We might make 50. 592 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:21,400 That's not bad. 593 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:26,040 There's 600,000 gay people in this city. Where the fuck are they? 594 00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:40,200 Roscoe Babatunde. Thanks. 595 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:45,560 You can go through. 596 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:01,920 [sighs] 597 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,120 Roscoe. 598 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:07,960 -Excuse me, sir. -He's with me. 599 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:10,920 They put me on Jamaica, but my dad's from Nigeria. 600 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,320 -It's the other side of the world. -She's early. 601 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:14,920 The Lady's early! 602 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,360 -Oh, uh, I need that. -What for? 603 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,400 Uh, this tie's a bit of a giveaway. 604 00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:26,320 The Lady doesn't really go for Wykehamists. 605 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,320 She's a grammar school girl. You know? 606 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:29,880 Isn't Denis public school? 607 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:30,960 Well, non-conformist. 608 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,600 Would she believe me, wearing this? 609 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:36,560 We have African princes, you know. [sighs] 610 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,680 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 611 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:45,040 Too soon. She arrives. 612 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:49,520 She has introductions. Then the tea comes out. 613 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:51,640 Otherwise it looks as if it's been stewing. 614 00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:54,480 Wait there. You don't stand around like a skivvy. 615 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:58,000 I swear, I have to do absolutely everything myself. 616 00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,440 Oh, my God. 617 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,080 Ugh, um. 618 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,360 Get in, in, in. 619 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,320 Out, thank you very much, don't stand there dawdling. 620 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,200 Go back to the hall. I'll give you a nod. 621 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,480 So, uh, how do I look? 622 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:15,880 Good. Let me see. 623 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,840 [sighs] Perfect gentleman. 624 00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,800 Oh, the last button of a waistcoat should always be left undone. 625 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,120 My friend Colin taught me that. 626 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:27,200 Mm. 627 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:29,880 Oh, my God. 628 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:32,240 Have you got a hard-on? 629 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,520 I am standing to attention. 630 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,000 You dirty dog. 631 00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:39,120 Well, I can't help it. She does make things rather exciting. 632 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,200 -That's for her? -The lady. 633 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:43,320 You're hard for her? 634 00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:44,840 It's quite a thrill. 635 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:46,200 She gives you a hard-on? 636 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,120 Roscoe, you're young. You don't understand the world yet. 637 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:50,840 I understand that you're gay. 638 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,840 Good God, I'm not gay. 639 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:55,800 Then what are you with me? 640 00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,480 Well, every so often one has to shove one's face in the shit 641 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:02,520 just so you can lift your head up and smell the sweet roses afterwards. 642 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:04,120 Hold on. 643 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:06,600 Ah! Oh, where is she... 644 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:10,600 [sighs] 645 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,720 They've waited long enough, we don't want it to get cold. 646 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:25,480 Go on. 647 00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:26,920 -[Roscoe] Oh, sorry. -Excuse me. 648 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,960 All right. Oh, well, you should get into position. Fast as you can. 649 00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:31,160 What happens here? 650 00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:34,120 Well, I wait here, I get the nod, 651 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:38,560 I escort the lady to discover all the wonderful things we've been doing 652 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:40,920 with telecommunications in Norway. 653 00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:42,720 There, look. 654 00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:50,720 It's exciting. 655 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:51,800 Yes. 656 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:53,360 Big day. 657 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:55,120 Extraordinary. 658 00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:57,040 All down to you. 659 00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:58,560 Isn't it just? 660 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:02,720 So, tell me, Mrs Thatcher, does she drink tea or coffee? 661 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,480 Coffee, uh, with a dash of milk. 662 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,800 Good, 'cause that's the one I pissed in. 663 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:13,800 I pissed in the coffee. 664 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:16,960 [laughing] No, you haven't. 665 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,720 I pissed in Mrs Thatcher's coffee. 666 00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:22,080 You're lying. 667 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,280 Black man's piss. 668 00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:27,440 [shouting] Hold, hold! 669 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,280 Ciao, darling, you were fun. 670 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,880 Ho-- But-- But-- I-- 671 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:53,400 Fast as we can. 672 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,640 You lot are late. Hurry up. 673 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,520 God, they will not stop yapping. 674 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,960 We made it. Here we are. 675 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:09,880 Make way. Ready to bang the drum. 676 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:13,560 If the police register me as a homosexual, I shall be very proud. 677 00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:14,800 [Christine] Hello darling! 678 00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,520 [man] Let's go. Oi! Oi! 679 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,840 Never mind you, here's the star attraction. Come on, Eileen. 680 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:24,000 I won't be happy 'til Parliament's in flames. Come here, my love. 681 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,240 -When did you get in? -I'm staying with Lorraine. 682 00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,120 And here he is, it's the Sheikh of Araby. 683 00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,280 I brought sandwiches just in case. 684 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,280 -If you've finished chatting. -[Ash] You made it. 685 00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:37,360 For God's sake, our greatest danger now is a parking ticket. Can we start? 686 00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:41,600 [shouting] Yes, about fucking time. Come on, you filthy motherfuckers. 687 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,560 [normal] Pardon my French, Mr and Mrs B. 688 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,320 Sorry, Eileen, but you've heard it all before. [kisses] 689 00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,240 Well, don't just stare, are we doing this or what? 690 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:51,400 Where did you come from? 691 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:53,360 [laughs] Oh, the pits of hell. 692 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:55,880 [shouting] Now let's march. 693 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:57,360 -[all] Yeah! -[laughs] 694 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:12,400 [shouting] Oi! 695 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,400 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 696 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,440 -[man] Get out the road. -[car horns honking] 697 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,760 What are you doing? What the hell are you doing? Get out the way. 698 00:41:20,240 --> 00:41:21,320 [honking continues] 699 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,400 Oh, you're kidding me. What are you doing? 700 00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,120 What the hell are you doing? 701 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:35,640 [Karl on megaphone] These bodies represent the dead. 702 00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:41,640 Inside this building The Blazen Hensher pharmaceutical company 703 00:41:41,720 --> 00:41:44,360 -is profiting from HIV. -What are they doing? 704 00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:45,440 -[laughs] -[horns honking] 705 00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:47,960 They have drugs which they withhold, 706 00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:53,080 and they have drugs which they double in price, 707 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,800 because they see AIDS as a chance to profit. 708 00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:01,120 We are dying and they profit. 709 00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:07,240 For every corpse on this street there are thousands more. 710 00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,480 [shouting] Oi! Get out the road! Get out of the road, you fucking idiots! 711 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:11,600 [horn honks] 712 00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,520 -We did it. -[shouting] Well, back up then! 713 00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:14,720 [laughing] We really did. 714 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:16,400 [man shouting] I can't fucking move! 715 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,320 This is weird. [laughs] 716 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,120 The street looks funny from this angle. 717 00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:23,880 [man] Don't beef with me, I'll come there and give you a slap. 718 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:25,000 Can I have my job back? 719 00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:28,160 You walked out on me, you miserable little git. Fuck off. 720 00:42:28,240 --> 00:42:29,760 Please can I have my job back? 721 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:30,840 No. 722 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:32,880 -Please can I have my job back? -No. 723 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,440 Please can I have my job back? 724 00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:37,800 [Karl] We want everyone to see what Blazen Hensher have done. 725 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:38,960 We represent the dead... 726 00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:40,680 Oh, I've missed you so much. 727 00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,560 [man] Don't beef with me, or someone's gonna give you a slap. 728 00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:44,680 [police sirens wailing] 729 00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:48,160 [Karl] We will not be moved! Call the police, we'd love it. 730 00:42:48,240 --> 00:42:49,240 [horn honks] 731 00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:52,280 Do what you want. We will not be moved. 732 00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:54,520 This is a peaceful protest. 733 00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:56,880 If you wanna arrest anyone, arrest the people in there. 734 00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:57,960 [crowd] Yeah. 735 00:42:58,040 --> 00:42:59,920 -They are guilty! -[policeman] Move! 736 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:01,960 Don't touch 'em, mate. You don't wanna touch 'em. 737 00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,200 [policeman] Get up. 738 00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:04,800 [Paul] Leave those people alone! 739 00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:07,360 -Oi! -Oi! 740 00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,560 Leave them alone. You should be listening to 'em. 741 00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:11,960 You benders! 742 00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:13,600 Filth, you dirty filth! 743 00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:15,160 Shame on you, shame on you! 744 00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:18,960 Run 'em over. Run 'em over. Go on. 745 00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:20,840 [Jill shouting] Act dead. Don't resist. 746 00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,720 Just go limp 'cause the heavier you are, the harder it is for them. 747 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,400 -[man 3] Just leave them! -No, Roscoe, don't! 748 00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:31,400 Take 'em away, the bastards. Lock 'em up. 749 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:34,320 Fairies and dykes, go on, get rid of all of 'em, go on. 750 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,200 Go on, let 'em have it, go on! 751 00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:37,520 -Leave them alone! -Bender. 752 00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:39,200 -Leave them alone. -You bender. 753 00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,160 [shouting] Oi, I said leave them alone! 754 00:43:41,240 --> 00:43:43,200 [woman] Go on, queers, get out! 755 00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,400 -I'll run you over, darling. -[policeman] Get up. 756 00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:47,840 -You won't be laughing then! -Leave them alone. 757 00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:50,320 Who's gonna miss you, you queer? 758 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,160 -[screaming] No, no. -[policeman] Come on. 759 00:43:55,240 --> 00:43:58,120 Go on, stop. Get up. 760 00:43:58,200 --> 00:43:59,760 -Leave them alone. -[screams] 761 00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,800 No, get off her! You can't do that. 762 00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:03,880 -[screams] -[policeman grunting] 763 00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:05,720 That's my daughter. Get off. Jill! 764 00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:07,600 -[man] Leave her alone! -[screams] 765 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:08,760 [policeman] Get off. 766 00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,840 [Ritchie] Hey! Oi, leave her alone! 767 00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:12,480 [policeman] Get off. 768 00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,600 Yeah, go on. Go on, mate! 769 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,480 [shouting] Get fucking off me. 770 00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:20,560 Whoo! 771 00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:22,800 Get off, get off. 772 00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:24,960 [woman] Come on. Get it. 773 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,320 [gasps] Oh, my God, what did they do to you? 774 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,840 -It's all right. I'm okay. -Ritchie, I can't believe you came. 775 00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:34,480 -Just keep back. -I can't believe it though. 776 00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:36,080 -Yeah, but don't. -No, come here. 777 00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:37,960 You can't touch me 'cause I'm bleeding. 778 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:44,960 [engine starts] 779 00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:47,880 Do you mean? 780 00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:52,960 [banging on car] 781 00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:58,360 It's funny 'cause I wanted to see you all to tell you. 782 00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,080 I thought, "How am I gonna get them all in the one place?" 783 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,840 And here you are. [inhales] All my mates. 784 00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:06,280 Who are you? 785 00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:07,480 Leanne. 786 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,040 -[whispering] Hi, Leanne. -Hi. 787 00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,520 But I wanted to tell you, and Leanne. 788 00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,760 I've been wanting to tell you for a really long time, 789 00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,040 and I know I fucked things up 'cause I didn't know how to say it, 790 00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:20,320 but it's actually really, really simple, because I've got some news for you. 791 00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:21,560 I've got news for you all. 792 00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,440 I wanted you to be the first to know. 793 00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:28,760 I'm gonna live. 794 00:45:30,240 --> 00:45:34,120 ♪ Ooh, baby, Do you know that that's worth? ♪ 795 00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:37,760 ♪ Ooh, heaven is a place on earth ♪ 796 00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:41,920 ♪ They say in heaven, love comes first ♪ 797 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:45,880 ♪ We'll make heaven a place on earth ♪ 798 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:49,400 ♪ Ooh, heaven is a place on earth ♪