1 00:00:02,599 --> 00:00:04,916 JENNY: Sarah Boone's house finally sold. 2 00:00:04,934 --> 00:00:07,585 It's so cute. I'm surprised it was on the market for so long. 3 00:00:07,678 --> 00:00:10,363 I bet Sarah Boone's ghost is haunting the place. 4 00:00:10,515 --> 00:00:13,441 She did die under mysterious circumstances. 5 00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:14,776 She was 98. 6 00:00:14,928 --> 00:00:17,686 Ripped from this world in her prime. 7 00:00:17,781 --> 00:00:19,614 98 is no one's prime. 8 00:00:19,766 --> 00:00:21,099 -Oh, look. -They're here! 9 00:00:21,117 --> 00:00:23,001 -(beeping) -(vehicle approaching) 10 00:00:25,438 --> 00:00:27,338 Oh, what? 11 00:00:29,534 --> 00:00:32,701 Who would tear down that beautiful old craftsman house? 12 00:00:32,721 --> 00:00:34,203 -New York. -What? 13 00:00:34,222 --> 00:00:36,781 Couple moving down from New York City. 14 00:00:36,874 --> 00:00:39,041 -Whoa! -New York City? 15 00:00:39,061 --> 00:00:40,468 Yes, yes, yes, yes! 16 00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:43,063 Praying to Debbie Harry actually works. Yes! 17 00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:45,214 I wonder what they're gonna build over there. 18 00:00:45,233 --> 00:00:46,641 Probably something with a stoop. 19 00:00:46,793 --> 00:00:48,384 New Yorkers love stoops. 20 00:00:48,403 --> 00:00:50,219 I hope they don't build a skyscraper 21 00:00:50,313 --> 00:00:51,963 that'll block our prime view of the water tower. 22 00:00:51,981 --> 00:00:53,198 (gasping) 23 00:00:55,468 --> 00:00:57,468 (beeping) 24 00:00:57,487 --> 00:01:01,897 Will Sarah Boone's ghost even fit in that house? 25 00:01:01,917 --> 00:01:04,167 ♪ ♪ 26 00:01:33,281 --> 00:01:36,074 -(gasps) They're here! -(gasps) 27 00:01:38,328 --> 00:01:41,270 We may have a Stuart Little scenario on our hands. 28 00:01:41,289 --> 00:01:42,938 Let's go say hi to our new mouse neighbors. 29 00:01:42,958 --> 00:01:44,791 JENNY: Wait. We can't go now. 30 00:01:44,942 --> 00:01:46,517 We don't have anything to take 'em. 31 00:01:46,611 --> 00:01:48,019 -Damn it! -So? 32 00:01:48,037 --> 00:01:49,854 Violet, you can't go over to meet new neighbors 33 00:01:49,947 --> 00:01:51,297 without bringing a homemade dish. 34 00:01:51,449 --> 00:01:53,691 It's the number one rule of Southern hospitality. 35 00:01:53,784 --> 00:01:56,636 Oh, grab those little fried pies I got at the gas station. 36 00:01:56,787 --> 00:01:58,396 Gas station pies? 37 00:01:58,398 --> 00:02:00,865 Take 'em out of the wrapper, put fork marks on the top, 38 00:02:00,884 --> 00:02:02,124 throw 'em in a little basket, 39 00:02:02,144 --> 00:02:03,701 and cover them with a cutesy towel. 40 00:02:03,794 --> 00:02:04,886 They'll never know the difference. 41 00:02:05,038 --> 00:02:06,479 I guess that would look nice. 42 00:02:06,631 --> 00:02:08,055 Sorry, junk basket. 43 00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:10,057 Oh, my Lord, that's so cute, 44 00:02:10,152 --> 00:02:13,153 Joanna Gaines could sell it! 45 00:02:16,049 --> 00:02:17,991 Virginia, Jackie, your order's up! 46 00:02:18,142 --> 00:02:19,659 You want me to get it? 47 00:02:19,810 --> 00:02:21,736 -Ugh. This place is gonna kill me. -(bell dinging) 48 00:02:21,830 --> 00:02:24,497 Hub, I swear to God, I'm gonna shove that bell up your... 49 00:02:24,649 --> 00:02:25,890 (bell dinging) 50 00:02:25,909 --> 00:02:27,758 Sorry. I'm on edge. 51 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:30,077 Did you hear this place might be closing? 52 00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:31,671 -What?! -No way. 53 00:02:31,822 --> 00:02:33,247 This place is the best. 54 00:02:33,341 --> 00:02:34,823 Is it 'cause of the sinkhole? 55 00:02:34,918 --> 00:02:36,843 Yup. It's spreading, too. 56 00:02:36,994 --> 00:02:40,180 I hope those people finish their dinner real quick. 57 00:02:40,407 --> 00:02:42,331 If the owners can't raise money for the repairs, 58 00:02:42,350 --> 00:02:45,000 they're gonna have to cut their losses and move in 59 00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:47,503 with their adult son in Morehead City. 60 00:02:47,522 --> 00:02:49,522 But, Meemaw, what about your job? 61 00:02:49,674 --> 00:02:50,839 Oh, I'll find something. 62 00:02:50,934 --> 00:02:53,193 Just got to find a place that'll put up 63 00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:54,694 with me and your Uncle Tommy. 64 00:02:54,921 --> 00:02:56,029 (laughs) -Tommy! I told you, 65 00:02:56,222 --> 00:02:58,940 -don't play near the sinkhole! -(cackling) 66 00:02:59,776 --> 00:03:02,276 Meemaw is never gonna be able to find another job. 67 00:03:02,429 --> 00:03:05,279 She's lucky this place will put up with her and Uncle Tommy. 68 00:03:05,432 --> 00:03:08,766 (sighs) I wish I could come up with the money to save this place. 69 00:03:08,785 --> 00:03:10,693 Think, Wayne! Think! 70 00:03:10,787 --> 00:03:12,437 You cannot let her lose this job. 71 00:03:12,455 --> 00:03:17,442 Think! Think! Where will I get a bunch... of... cash? 72 00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:19,636 Uh, Wayne. 73 00:03:20,964 --> 00:03:23,014 (cash register dings) 74 00:03:26,286 --> 00:03:28,619 Wait. This is a huge moment. 75 00:03:28,638 --> 00:03:31,564 We are about to meet a couple of real live New Yorkers. 76 00:03:31,716 --> 00:03:34,567 Oh. Do I open with a reference to Jean-Michel Basquiat 77 00:03:34,719 --> 00:03:37,128 or lament the fact that CBGBs became an Anthropologie? 78 00:03:37,188 --> 00:03:39,388 Quick. Can you tell I'm cool without caring?! 79 00:03:39,407 --> 00:03:41,724 Vi, are you having a nervous toot? 80 00:03:41,743 --> 00:03:42,817 I am not farting. 81 00:03:42,911 --> 00:03:44,485 I'm visualizing what I want 82 00:03:44,579 --> 00:03:46,913 from our fabulous New York neighbors. 83 00:03:47,140 --> 00:03:49,307 ♪ ♪ 84 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,734 She's a museum curator, 85 00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:54,254 and he's a documentarian specializing in the synth-based 86 00:03:54,405 --> 00:03:57,423 scores that broadened the appeal of '70s Italian horror. 87 00:03:57,592 --> 00:03:59,484 They make a film about me that's wordless. 88 00:03:59,502 --> 00:04:02,077 It's shown at her museum's annual gala to rave reviews 89 00:04:02,097 --> 00:04:05,490 in the Daily News and tepid reviews in the New York Post. 90 00:04:05,508 --> 00:04:06,915 Vi, that's an awful lot to expect 91 00:04:06,935 --> 00:04:08,250 just 'cause they're from New York. 92 00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:10,919 Besides, here's what's really gonna happen. 93 00:04:10,939 --> 00:04:13,439 He's a renowned choreographer, 94 00:04:13,666 --> 00:04:16,183 and she's a renowned choreographer. 95 00:04:16,336 --> 00:04:17,852 They catch me doing a simple dance move, 96 00:04:18,004 --> 00:04:19,779 and they are blown away. They open 97 00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:23,524 a Fame school of the arts with me as their star pupil. 98 00:04:23,618 --> 00:04:25,843 Fame? More like lame. 99 00:04:25,862 --> 00:04:27,528 Here's what I'm picturing. 100 00:04:27,622 --> 00:04:31,182 He's a mob kingpin and she's his hot-ass goomah. 101 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,126 I teach 'em how the game works in Greenpoint, 102 00:04:33,353 --> 00:04:36,871 and let's just say they're very appreciative. 103 00:04:37,023 --> 00:04:38,781 Soon they're paying me tribute. 104 00:04:38,875 --> 00:04:41,968 And anyone who crosses me ends up in the bottom of the ocean 105 00:04:42,119 --> 00:04:45,722 wearing a pair of cement Ug-gugs. 106 00:04:47,792 --> 00:04:49,700 Hey, hey, hey. We're whittling. 107 00:04:49,794 --> 00:04:51,385 Yes, we just took up whittling. 108 00:04:51,479 --> 00:04:53,563 Oh... kay. 109 00:04:59,103 --> 00:05:02,238 -Anyway, we just... Oh! -MAN: Aah! My fingertip. 110 00:05:04,217 --> 00:05:06,492 Wow. I'm worse at this than I remember. 111 00:05:06,719 --> 00:05:08,310 How can we be this bad? 112 00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:10,555 Yeah, I thought this game was for babies. 113 00:05:10,648 --> 00:05:11,906 Oh. 114 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,240 I'm not trying to be rude. 115 00:05:13,393 --> 00:05:14,667 I just actually thought this was one of those, 116 00:05:14,819 --> 00:05:17,003 like, learning games for toddlers or something. 117 00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:18,245 (all groan) 118 00:05:18,398 --> 00:05:19,672 I mean, it's holes and beanbags. 119 00:05:19,899 --> 00:05:22,300 How much skill does it take? 120 00:05:24,253 --> 00:05:27,329 I shouldn't tell y'all this, but I know a legendary 121 00:05:27,423 --> 00:05:30,016 cornhole guy can teach you. 122 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,835 But he gave up holing years ago, 123 00:05:32,929 --> 00:05:36,022 and he's real reluctant to come out of retirement. 124 00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:40,526 Wait. Is it you? 125 00:05:40,753 --> 00:05:42,195 No. 126 00:05:43,256 --> 00:05:45,256 He doesn't live far from here, 127 00:05:45,349 --> 00:05:47,033 but I can't say anything else. 128 00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:48,684 Don't make me. 129 00:05:48,703 --> 00:05:50,370 Okay, we won't. 130 00:05:50,521 --> 00:05:53,114 Are you deaf? I said he likes his privacy. 131 00:05:53,266 --> 00:05:55,116 Here's his address. 132 00:05:55,268 --> 00:05:56,283 It's walkable. 133 00:05:56,452 --> 00:05:59,253 -But leave him alone! -(grunts) 134 00:06:00,607 --> 00:06:02,048 (door closes) 135 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,626 Uh, you sure you don't want a Band-Aid? 136 00:06:05,778 --> 00:06:07,202 Oh, no, we don't do anything single-use. 137 00:06:07,222 --> 00:06:09,964 We only generate a third of a cup of garbage a day. 138 00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:12,450 Well, now that we've found your fingertip, I'm Jenny, 139 00:06:12,468 --> 00:06:14,635 and this is my mom Betty and my daughter Violet. 140 00:06:14,729 --> 00:06:16,120 We just came by to say hi. 141 00:06:16,139 --> 00:06:18,623 Oh, my God, that is so Southern. Sam, did you hear? 142 00:06:18,641 --> 00:06:22,126 (Southern accent): We just came by to say hi. 143 00:06:22,219 --> 00:06:23,736 It is so precious. 144 00:06:23,888 --> 00:06:25,312 (Southern accent): Hi, you'ins. 145 00:06:25,465 --> 00:06:27,131 Huh. Is that what I sound like? 146 00:06:27,224 --> 00:06:29,300 (normal voice): Uh, you know, I think it's "y'all," not "you'ins," 147 00:06:29,393 --> 00:06:30,635 so wouldn't it be, um... 148 00:06:30,653 --> 00:06:33,638 "I don't sou-yund like tha-yut, y'all"? 149 00:06:33,656 --> 00:06:36,474 I don't sou-yund like tha-yut, y'all. 150 00:06:36,492 --> 00:06:37,900 -I don't sou-yund like tha-yut. -You'ins. No. 151 00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,568 -Y'all. Y'all. -Is it "y'all"? 152 00:06:39,587 --> 00:06:41,587 -You know what? You place it in the jaw. -VIOLET: Where do you 153 00:06:41,739 --> 00:06:43,923 -keep your record collection? -She's been really excited 154 00:06:44,150 --> 00:06:45,925 about New Yorkers moving in. We all have. 155 00:06:46,076 --> 00:06:48,319 -We were done with New York. -So done. 156 00:06:48,412 --> 00:06:49,336 Wh-Wh-Why? 157 00:06:49,431 --> 00:06:51,764 -It's all so corporate. -Congested. 158 00:06:51,916 --> 00:06:53,991 -Plastic. -Crate and Barrel. 159 00:06:54,010 --> 00:06:56,510 Yes. That's good. Plastic. So sick of it. 160 00:06:56,663 --> 00:06:58,329 (Violet gasps loudly) 161 00:06:58,347 --> 00:06:59,922 Oh. I almost forgot, we brought you these. 162 00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:02,775 Look at this. What are these-- little... 163 00:07:03,002 --> 00:07:05,611 -(Southern accent): pies? -They are. Oh, my God. 164 00:07:05,763 --> 00:07:08,022 -Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. -Mmm. Mmm. 165 00:07:08,116 --> 00:07:10,691 Sam, you know who would love these? Hadassah and Tony. 166 00:07:10,843 --> 00:07:14,011 Oh, my God, yes. That's Hadassah Singh and Tony LaBianci, 167 00:07:14,030 --> 00:07:15,196 our neighbors from 4G. 168 00:07:15,290 --> 00:07:18,015 He's a documentarian, she's a museum curator. 169 00:07:18,108 --> 00:07:19,183 Oh, come on. 170 00:07:19,202 --> 00:07:20,460 And Trudie and Rodrick. 171 00:07:20,687 --> 00:07:22,353 Trudie Hadid and Rodrick Feinstein. 172 00:07:22,371 --> 00:07:24,130 They teach at the, uh, LaGuardia School. 173 00:07:24,281 --> 00:07:25,539 You know, the Fame school? 174 00:07:25,692 --> 00:07:27,633 They almost moved down here, too, to find new talent, 175 00:07:27,785 --> 00:07:28,634 but we talked them out of it. 176 00:07:28,786 --> 00:07:30,194 Oh, you're kidding me. 177 00:07:30,213 --> 00:07:31,971 Oh, also, our friend Big Paulie. 178 00:07:32,198 --> 00:07:35,308 He-He's in sanitation, but we all know what that means. Wink! 179 00:07:35,535 --> 00:07:37,384 -Unbelievable. -Lucky you'ins. 180 00:07:37,537 --> 00:07:40,538 Looks like y'all are stuck with us. 181 00:07:40,556 --> 00:07:43,374 Oh, my finger just fell off. Sam? 182 00:07:43,392 --> 00:07:45,392 Sam?! 183 00:07:45,545 --> 00:07:47,778 ♪ ♪ 184 00:07:49,306 --> 00:07:54,243 Let's see what this cornhole Mr. Miyagi's all about. 185 00:07:55,312 --> 00:07:57,872 Go away! 186 00:07:58,908 --> 00:08:00,816 (muffled): Uh, try knocking again. 187 00:08:00,835 --> 00:08:03,002 Oh, for Pete's sake. 188 00:08:04,321 --> 00:08:06,822 Fine! Since you refuse to leave, 189 00:08:06,841 --> 00:08:09,217 I have no choice but to train you. 190 00:08:12,847 --> 00:08:15,573 Hello. Leslie and Sam. 191 00:08:15,591 --> 00:08:18,834 -(doorbell rings repeatedly) -Good Lord! 192 00:08:18,928 --> 00:08:20,745 Hello? 193 00:08:20,838 --> 00:08:22,246 (doorbell rings repeatedly) 194 00:08:22,339 --> 00:08:24,098 Well, howdy, y'all. 195 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:26,174 Is the emphasis on the "yah" or the "all"? 196 00:08:26,194 --> 00:08:29,177 -It's just one syllable less. Y'all. -Yah-all. 197 00:08:29,197 --> 00:08:30,938 Y'all. Just... y'all. 198 00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:34,516 We just wanted to stop by and thank you again for those pies. 199 00:08:34,610 --> 00:08:37,278 We could taste generations of Southern tradition. 200 00:08:37,430 --> 00:08:38,687 So authentic. 201 00:08:38,706 --> 00:08:41,023 We want to send some to our friends back in New York. 202 00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:45,527 Could we possibly maybe ask you to make a few more? 203 00:08:45,621 --> 00:08:47,271 -Oh, gosh. I don't know. -I don't think so. 204 00:08:47,364 --> 00:08:51,717 We would pay you, of course. How's 20 bucks for a pie? 205 00:08:51,944 --> 00:08:57,706 Well, howdily doodily, and a possum on a length of rope. 206 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,726 We'd be much obliged, y'all! 207 00:09:06,459 --> 00:09:08,292 Violet, hand me that old pie. 208 00:09:08,385 --> 00:09:11,571 You guys, are we really doing this? Plagiarizing food? 209 00:09:11,722 --> 00:09:14,632 Violet, hush. This is grown-up business. 210 00:09:14,634 --> 00:09:16,984 -Oh, hell no! -Release that pie, virgin! 211 00:09:17,136 --> 00:09:19,036 (whimpering) 212 00:09:20,915 --> 00:09:22,898 BETTY: The game was perfect. 213 00:09:22,917 --> 00:09:24,975 Jenny and I hit every gas station 214 00:09:25,069 --> 00:09:26,752 from Greenpoint to Charlotte. 215 00:09:26,979 --> 00:09:31,716 Word started to spread, and the money came rolling in. 216 00:09:32,668 --> 00:09:35,577 And then we hit the jackpot. 217 00:09:35,671 --> 00:09:36,987 (doorbell rings repeatedly) 218 00:09:37,081 --> 00:09:39,323 Great news. Your pies have made us famous. 219 00:09:39,416 --> 00:09:42,676 We convinced New York Times food critic Alan Thatt 220 00:09:42,829 --> 00:09:45,921 to come here in person to do an entire spread about us 221 00:09:46,015 --> 00:09:48,423 and you and your pies that we discovered. 222 00:09:48,517 --> 00:09:50,318 This is huge. 223 00:09:52,021 --> 00:09:55,522 Feel the bag, its character. 224 00:09:55,675 --> 00:09:59,768 How it sags, how it spills over the side. 225 00:09:59,862 --> 00:10:01,954 Cradle the bag. 226 00:10:02,106 --> 00:10:04,031 Adjust the bag. 227 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,108 Become one with the bag. 228 00:10:06,202 --> 00:10:07,960 That's excellent, Wayne. 229 00:10:08,187 --> 00:10:10,612 N-N-Now, now hold Travis's bag. 230 00:10:10,632 --> 00:10:12,965 How are your bags different? 231 00:10:13,192 --> 00:10:15,542 -N-Now, Travis, hold Wayne's bag again. -WAYNE: I'm sorry. 232 00:10:15,695 --> 00:10:18,137 Is this gonna be all about cupping each other's bags? 233 00:10:18,288 --> 00:10:20,640 When do we get to the holes? 234 00:10:22,385 --> 00:10:24,160 (buzzing) 235 00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:26,461 There. A hole. May we proceed? 236 00:10:26,555 --> 00:10:29,631 Um, Houston, we're gonna need a bigger hole. 237 00:10:29,651 --> 00:10:33,110 You don't think that hole's big enough? Interesting. 238 00:10:40,887 --> 00:10:42,328 (both exclaim) 239 00:10:44,907 --> 00:10:49,669 ♪ Cornhole ♪ 240 00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:54,231 ♪ Get in the game, sink in that sack ♪ 241 00:10:54,250 --> 00:10:57,343 ♪ If you fall down, then you climb right back ♪ 242 00:10:57,494 --> 00:11:01,163 ♪ Eyes on the prize, get in the hole ♪ 243 00:11:01,257 --> 00:11:05,926 ♪ Don't you back down till you reach that goal ♪ 244 00:11:06,078 --> 00:11:08,170 ♪ 'Cause it's a cornhole journey ♪ 245 00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:12,933 ♪ There's only winners and the losers on gurneys ♪ 246 00:11:13,085 --> 00:11:16,028 ♪ Yeah, it's a cornhole journey ♪ 247 00:11:16,255 --> 00:11:21,091 ♪ Don't mess around, 'cause that mess ain't furny ♪ 248 00:11:21,110 --> 00:11:23,444 ♪ Yeah! ♪ 249 00:11:23,596 --> 00:11:26,597 -You. You. You're the man. -No, man, that's you, man, all you. 250 00:11:26,615 --> 00:11:28,766 -No, no. You. You the man. -Stop, stop. 251 00:11:28,784 --> 00:11:32,194 This is the final lesson: you never celebrate. 252 00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:34,529 Victory goes to the humble. 253 00:11:34,549 --> 00:11:36,364 Ad nu lapa crionis. 254 00:11:36,459 --> 00:11:38,625 That's the most important rule. 255 00:11:38,778 --> 00:11:40,110 Now we do it all again... 256 00:11:40,204 --> 00:11:42,613 -but wetter. -(Wayne and Travis shout) 257 00:11:42,706 --> 00:11:44,306 Whoa. 258 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:47,542 Why does it look like a Cracker Barrel 259 00:11:47,636 --> 00:11:48,728 exploded in our house? 260 00:11:48,955 --> 00:11:51,397 Because we have to look the part, Vi. 261 00:11:51,548 --> 00:11:54,458 Exactly. Jenny 'N Betty's Sweet-Hart Pies 262 00:11:54,477 --> 00:11:56,977 are made by America's darlings, the Hart Sisters... 263 00:11:57,129 --> 00:11:59,739 In their adorably cluttered Southern home, 264 00:11:59,966 --> 00:12:01,556 where the old ways live on 265 00:12:01,576 --> 00:12:04,485 and the younger, hotter sister Betty 266 00:12:04,637 --> 00:12:06,412 often plays the banjo. 267 00:12:06,563 --> 00:12:07,562 What the...? No way. 268 00:12:07,582 --> 00:12:09,415 You're perpetuating the stereotype 269 00:12:09,566 --> 00:12:12,067 of the dumb, simple Southerner. I'm out. 270 00:12:12,161 --> 00:12:14,828 Shut up and put this on, or I'm gonna tan your hide. 271 00:12:14,981 --> 00:12:17,314 -(groans) -(doorbell ringing) 272 00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:18,649 (Betty and Jenny squeal) 273 00:12:19,409 --> 00:12:22,653 Hey, y'all. Well, bless my stars, and I might die. 274 00:12:22,671 --> 00:12:24,579 Come on in. Alan Thatt, 275 00:12:24,673 --> 00:12:26,490 as I live and breathe. 276 00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:28,842 And this here is my daughter Violet. 277 00:12:28,936 --> 00:12:33,088 Violet, why don't you give these lovely folks a chin-wag? 278 00:12:33,182 --> 00:12:35,590 -Howdy. -Oh! 279 00:12:35,610 --> 00:12:38,277 Look-a-look who's here. Good night, I reckon. 280 00:12:38,504 --> 00:12:42,281 ♪ Well, lemme tell you a little story 'bout a gal named Betty ♪ 281 00:12:42,432 --> 00:12:44,024 ♪ In case you haven't guessed ♪ 282 00:12:44,176 --> 00:12:45,433 -♪ That's me ♪ -(all gasp) 283 00:12:45,453 --> 00:12:48,362 ♪ Taught about bakin' from a little old lady ♪ 284 00:12:48,514 --> 00:12:50,197 ♪ Yep, that was my grammy so sweet ♪ 285 00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:52,941 ♪ But, of course, soon enough, some hookers got jealous ♪ 286 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,961 ♪ 'Cause I kept feeding all the hungry, hot fellas ♪ 287 00:12:56,188 --> 00:12:59,523 ♪ They tried to take me down, but they couldn't compete ♪ 288 00:12:59,542 --> 00:13:02,617 ♪ With my flaky hot pie and my juicy butt meats ♪ 289 00:13:02,637 --> 00:13:07,548 ♪ Now here's a list of my ugly enemies ♪ 290 00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,642 -Mother, Mother, Mother! -♪ There's Crystalynn and Bobbie Nell ♪ 291 00:13:09,793 --> 00:13:11,718 ♪ And Clara from Quiznos and Stephanie from Quiznos ♪ 292 00:13:11,813 --> 00:13:14,146 ♪ And this lady at Kohl's who won't honor my coupons ♪ 293 00:13:14,373 --> 00:13:17,891 ♪ I hope she dies of genital herpes. ♪ 294 00:13:17,985 --> 00:13:19,726 -Mother! -That was wonderful. 295 00:13:19,879 --> 00:13:22,229 I am in awe. Thank you, Betty. 296 00:13:22,381 --> 00:13:23,564 VIOLET: Hey, Alan, 297 00:13:23,658 --> 00:13:25,732 I got a great idee while I was skipping frogs 298 00:13:25,885 --> 00:13:27,309 out on yonder creek. 299 00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:30,979 Y'all should get some photos of Ma and Gram actually making 300 00:13:31,073 --> 00:13:32,314 them there pies. 301 00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:34,834 I love that. We'll capture them 302 00:13:34,985 --> 00:13:37,711 in their stupidly simple country kitchen. 303 00:13:42,585 --> 00:13:44,510 ♪ ♪ 304 00:13:44,737 --> 00:13:46,661 -(cheering and applause) -Hi. I'm Joe Buck 305 00:13:46,755 --> 00:13:47,921 here with Erin Andrews, 306 00:13:48,015 --> 00:13:50,999 and we are literally being forced to do this. 307 00:13:51,018 --> 00:13:53,243 That's right, Joe. Well, the boards are waxed, 308 00:13:53,262 --> 00:13:54,595 and the bags have been weighed. 309 00:13:54,689 --> 00:13:58,248 Our teams today represent bars all over North Carolina. 310 00:13:58,267 --> 00:14:01,935 JOE: We've got the team from It's Vine O'Clock Somewhere, 311 00:14:02,088 --> 00:14:05,606 Mary Elizabeth Covington's Cigar Emporium, 312 00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,533 Unz-Unz Nightclub, 313 00:14:07,684 --> 00:14:10,611 and newcomers this year, playing to save their bar, 314 00:14:10,763 --> 00:14:12,596 the team from Tipsy River. 315 00:14:12,615 --> 00:14:14,781 I thought Tipsy River got eaten by a sinkhole. 316 00:14:14,876 --> 00:14:16,283 Only most of it, Erin. 317 00:14:16,435 --> 00:14:18,878 And I'm so sad that I know that. 318 00:14:19,029 --> 00:14:22,697 And there's the dangerous indoor starting gun. 319 00:14:22,717 --> 00:14:23,957 (cheering and applause) 320 00:14:24,051 --> 00:14:26,010 ♪ ♪ 321 00:14:29,965 --> 00:14:31,140 (cheering) 322 00:14:33,377 --> 00:14:34,310 (groaning) 323 00:14:36,713 --> 00:14:38,147 (cheering) 324 00:14:42,552 --> 00:14:44,552 -You are unbeatable. All you, bro. -No, you are, bro. 325 00:14:44,647 --> 00:14:46,113 You're a beast. 326 00:14:50,912 --> 00:14:51,969 (cheering) 327 00:14:51,987 --> 00:14:53,654 -Yeah! Yeah! -Yeah! Yeah! 328 00:14:53,789 --> 00:14:54,914 -Yeah! -Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 329 00:14:55,141 --> 00:14:56,731 Remember, the humbler the warrior, 330 00:14:56,751 --> 00:14:58,733 the greater the victory. 331 00:14:58,753 --> 00:15:00,661 Don't let your confidence sink your chances 332 00:15:00,755 --> 00:15:02,254 into the hole of hubris. 333 00:15:02,481 --> 00:15:05,499 Est non libre don carta brevis. 334 00:15:05,651 --> 00:15:06,926 Yeah, yeah, I got it. 335 00:15:07,153 --> 00:15:09,219 ♪ ♪ 336 00:15:12,767 --> 00:15:14,266 (crowd gasps) 337 00:15:16,586 --> 00:15:18,845 (cheering and applause) 338 00:15:18,998 --> 00:15:20,847 (both cheer in slow motion) 339 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:21,999 (cracks) 340 00:15:22,017 --> 00:15:24,610 Oh, my hand! My throwing hand. 341 00:15:24,837 --> 00:15:27,671 Pride cometh before the fall. 342 00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:30,023 Oh, and who was it that said, "Mark my words, 343 00:15:30,176 --> 00:15:32,342 we'll never need medics at a cornhole tourney"? 344 00:15:32,361 --> 00:15:33,768 Was that you, Joe Buck? 345 00:15:33,788 --> 00:15:36,013 (laughs) That was me, Erin. 346 00:15:36,106 --> 00:15:38,182 I have no idea how to make a friggin' pie. 347 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:39,625 Who do I look like, P.F. Chang? 348 00:15:39,852 --> 00:15:42,753 Yeah, and who am I? Gordon Ramses? 349 00:15:45,191 --> 00:15:48,616 Well, okay, then. I guess we should... 350 00:15:48,636 --> 00:15:50,618 -...start... -...with... 351 00:15:50,638 --> 00:15:52,304 ...a prayer. 352 00:15:52,414 --> 00:15:55,099 Yes. Everyone, close your eyes. 353 00:15:55,977 --> 00:15:57,534 (both muttering) 354 00:15:57,553 --> 00:15:58,626 Dear Lord, 355 00:15:58,646 --> 00:16:01,463 way up high in the sky, 356 00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:06,485 not even a speck to the naked eye, 357 00:16:06,636 --> 00:16:08,212 show us 358 00:16:08,230 --> 00:16:11,565 the miracle of pie. 359 00:16:11,659 --> 00:16:12,491 And, Lord... 360 00:16:12,718 --> 00:16:13,808 -Amen. -(growls) 361 00:16:13,902 --> 00:16:16,111 I'm just gonna look for a pie dish. 362 00:16:16,813 --> 00:16:18,388 (groans) Thanks, Violet. 363 00:16:18,482 --> 00:16:19,832 (chuckles) Ah, well, you know what? 364 00:16:19,983 --> 00:16:21,908 I can't find my lucky rolling pin. 365 00:16:22,061 --> 00:16:22,984 Here it is. 366 00:16:23,078 --> 00:16:24,895 Thank you. 367 00:16:24,988 --> 00:16:28,841 Oh, no. We're completely out of flour. 368 00:16:29,826 --> 00:16:32,660 Mother, let's just do this. How hard can it be? 369 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,180 BETTY: Perfect. Now we let it cool. 370 00:16:35,407 --> 00:16:37,591 And once we break off the char, the inside pie 371 00:16:37,685 --> 00:16:39,518 is gonna be a taste of heaven. (chuckles) 372 00:16:39,669 --> 00:16:41,745 You know you got a good pie when you got to get through 373 00:16:41,838 --> 00:16:44,005 a big ole chunk of char. 374 00:16:44,025 --> 00:16:45,524 Guys, just fess up. 375 00:16:45,751 --> 00:16:48,027 Okay, Vi. You're right. 376 00:16:48,254 --> 00:16:51,271 Here's the truth. The God's honest truth. 377 00:16:51,423 --> 00:16:54,258 And the truth is... (sighs) 378 00:16:54,276 --> 00:16:56,518 (exhales) We're blind. 379 00:16:56,612 --> 00:16:59,780 Mother, we don't have to pretend no more. 380 00:16:59,874 --> 00:17:01,707 You are so brave for saying it. 381 00:17:01,858 --> 00:17:04,526 Let me feel your perfect smile. 382 00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:06,194 Just tell them. 383 00:17:06,955 --> 00:17:09,864 Fine! We buy these pies at a gas station. 384 00:17:09,958 --> 00:17:11,441 -(all gasp) -What am I, a debutante? 385 00:17:11,535 --> 00:17:14,386 At home eating bonbons while my husband works on Wall Street? 386 00:17:14,538 --> 00:17:15,796 We don't have all the time in the world 387 00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:17,056 to learn how to make pies. 388 00:17:17,283 --> 00:17:18,724 Y'all got so much time, you even write 389 00:17:18,951 --> 00:17:20,708 about other people making pies. 390 00:17:20,803 --> 00:17:22,728 What kind of New York crap is that? 391 00:17:22,955 --> 00:17:25,472 You fed us pies from a gas station? 392 00:17:25,624 --> 00:17:28,475 -But you liked 'em. -Yeah, we saw it. You liked 'em. 393 00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:31,144 You dragged me down to this humid dog patch of a town 394 00:17:31,297 --> 00:17:34,073 so that I could eat mass-produced gas station pies? 395 00:17:34,224 --> 00:17:36,909 You're gonna make me look like a fraud. 396 00:17:37,136 --> 00:17:39,060 As they say in New York, 397 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,164 hey, I'm crying here. 398 00:17:42,975 --> 00:17:45,709 You country-ass bastards. 399 00:17:48,572 --> 00:17:49,571 Guys, wait. Hang on. 400 00:17:49,665 --> 00:17:51,331 Look, I'm sorry, okay? 401 00:17:51,483 --> 00:17:54,484 You two are just a couple big old tubs of Country Crock, 402 00:17:54,578 --> 00:17:55,652 y'all. 403 00:17:55,671 --> 00:17:57,078 Yeah, we thought you were real Southerners 404 00:17:57,172 --> 00:17:59,673 like in the documentary Steel Magnolias. 405 00:17:59,767 --> 00:18:01,174 That's not a documentary. 406 00:18:01,327 --> 00:18:03,602 -You're frauds, "yawl." -(gasps) 407 00:18:03,753 --> 00:18:06,179 You're not saying it right. 408 00:18:06,348 --> 00:18:09,833 Well, apparently, you're not saying it right, either, "yawl." 409 00:18:09,926 --> 00:18:11,852 -It's "y'all." -"Yawl." 410 00:18:12,004 --> 00:18:13,278 -"Y'all"! Just "y'all"! -SAM: "Yawl." 411 00:18:13,505 --> 00:18:15,005 "Yawl." I know how to say it. "Yawl." 412 00:18:15,023 --> 00:18:16,448 -No, you don't, y'all. -"Yawl." 413 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:17,932 -"Y'all"! -"Yawl." 414 00:18:18,026 --> 00:18:19,785 "Y'all." 415 00:18:21,605 --> 00:18:23,747 (both laughing) 416 00:18:26,518 --> 00:18:28,018 My mom was a single working mother. 417 00:18:28,111 --> 00:18:29,461 We didn't have time to make pies. 418 00:18:29,688 --> 00:18:31,521 I grew up on boxed macaroni and cheese 419 00:18:31,540 --> 00:18:32,873 and French bread pizzas. 420 00:18:33,025 --> 00:18:35,950 Can I tell you something? I love a French bread pizza. 421 00:18:36,044 --> 00:18:37,785 I used to put boxed macaroni and cheese 422 00:18:37,805 --> 00:18:39,212 on the French bread pizza. 423 00:18:39,306 --> 00:18:41,198 Don't tell Alan Thatt. 424 00:18:41,216 --> 00:18:43,600 (Sam and Jenny laughing) 425 00:18:45,721 --> 00:18:48,105 ♪ ♪ 426 00:18:50,634 --> 00:18:52,985 I can't let Meemaw down. 427 00:18:56,064 --> 00:18:57,564 Give me a bag. 428 00:18:57,716 --> 00:18:58,824 I'll throw goofy-handed. 429 00:18:58,975 --> 00:19:00,642 -(cheering and applause) -TED: Wayne, 430 00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,744 you've shown your mettle. 431 00:19:03,572 --> 00:19:05,497 I want you to use my bags 432 00:19:05,724 --> 00:19:06,999 for your final throw. 433 00:19:07,150 --> 00:19:10,227 I've never let another man handle my bag. 434 00:19:10,245 --> 00:19:13,730 Wayne Edwards throwing lefty now for the final hole, 435 00:19:13,823 --> 00:19:17,301 the famed Hole of Glory. 436 00:19:26,094 --> 00:19:29,855 TED: Let the hole swallow the bag. 437 00:19:30,006 --> 00:19:33,192 ♪ ♪ 438 00:19:43,370 --> 00:19:45,204 (cheering) 439 00:19:45,355 --> 00:19:46,688 Do you believe in miracles? 440 00:19:46,782 --> 00:19:48,373 JOE: That's been used, Erin. 441 00:19:48,525 --> 00:19:51,451 But I don't believe what I just saw. 442 00:19:51,603 --> 00:19:53,712 That's my grandson. 443 00:19:53,863 --> 00:19:56,381 Thank you, baby. Tipsy River's saved! 444 00:19:56,533 --> 00:19:59,718 I can keep working until I die of old age. 445 00:19:59,869 --> 00:20:02,262 (Uncle Tommy laughs) 446 00:20:15,978 --> 00:20:18,462 Mmm, yum, yum! 447 00:20:18,555 --> 00:20:21,631 What is that?! Mmm. 448 00:20:21,725 --> 00:20:23,408 (cheering) 449 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,601 Is this his first time eating food? 450 00:20:25,654 --> 00:20:28,154 This restaurant will receive my highest rating. 451 00:20:28,307 --> 00:20:29,990 The Last Supper is... 452 00:20:30,142 --> 00:20:31,065 All Thatt. 453 00:20:31,159 --> 00:20:34,068 It's a sticker for your front window. 454 00:20:34,088 --> 00:20:35,495 I love it. 455 00:20:35,589 --> 00:20:38,757 Sam, Leslie, all of New York is gonna know 456 00:20:38,908 --> 00:20:40,742 -about your special find. -Thanks... 457 00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:43,153 -y'all? -You got it right. 458 00:20:43,246 --> 00:20:45,931 -♪ Well ♪ -♪ Well ♪ 459 00:20:46,082 --> 00:20:48,658 ♪ Lemme tell you a li'l story 'bout a gal named Betty ♪ 460 00:20:48,752 --> 00:20:51,511 -♪ In case you haven't guessed, that's me ♪ -♪ That's her ♪ 461 00:20:51,605 --> 00:20:54,347 ♪ She was taught about baking from a little old lady ♪ 462 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,150 -♪ Yes, it was my grammy so sweet ♪ -♪ So sweet. ♪ 463 00:21:02,616 --> 00:21:05,117 (grunts) 464 00:21:05,935 --> 00:21:08,678 ♪ But, of course, soon enough, some hookers got jealous ♪ 465 00:21:08,772 --> 00:21:11,197 ♪ 'Cause I kept feeding all the hungry, hot fellas ♪ 466 00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:13,850 ♪ They tried to take you down, but they couldn't compete ♪ 467 00:21:13,869 --> 00:21:16,795 ♪ With your flaky hot pie and your juicy butt meats ♪ 468 00:21:17,022 --> 00:21:20,782 ♪ Now let me tell ya about some real dummies who suck ♪ 469 00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:24,027 LESLIE: ♪ They're just bitter, they're saggy dump trucks ♪ 470 00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,713 BETTY: ♪ There's Crystalynn, who's dry as the Sahara ♪ 471 00:21:26,807 --> 00:21:29,716 LESLIE: ♪ And Bobbie Nell and this bitch named Clara. ♪ 472 00:21:29,868 --> 00:21:31,476 -(meows) -(horn honks musically) 473 00:21:31,628 --> 00:21:33,386 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 474 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,147 and TOYOTA.