1 00:00:02,061 --> 00:00:03,060 BIG: Whew! 2 00:00:03,153 --> 00:00:04,561 Gonna be another scorcher today 3 00:00:04,654 --> 00:00:06,913 with a wave of record heat and humidity 4 00:00:07,066 --> 00:00:09,341 we're calling Heat Wave Dick. 5 00:00:09,568 --> 00:00:11,585 Reporting live from downtown Greenpoint 6 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,403 is our own MayKay Bueller. 7 00:00:13,497 --> 00:00:15,681 How's everybody coping out there, MayKay? 8 00:00:15,832 --> 00:00:18,350 Hoo-hoo! Oh, oh, hi there, Big. 9 00:00:18,577 --> 00:00:21,169 I'm standing here in the town square 10 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,521 with no one to interview 11 00:00:22,672 --> 00:00:26,674 because the National Weather Service has literally 12 00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,436 ordered people indoors. 13 00:00:29,588 --> 00:00:30,937 So the question is: 14 00:00:31,090 --> 00:00:34,516 why the hell am I still out here? (laughs) 15 00:00:34,610 --> 00:00:37,110 Ha! We'll be checking up with MayKay for more news 16 00:00:37,263 --> 00:00:39,538 on Heat Wave Dick throughout the day. 17 00:00:39,765 --> 00:00:40,781 Throughout the day?! 18 00:00:40,933 --> 00:00:44,251 (crowd chatter) 19 00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:52,534 Okay, y'all, now this isn't a free AC factory, 20 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:56,704 so everybody better be ordering or actively eating. 21 00:00:56,799 --> 00:00:59,116 Also, quit using the paper products 22 00:00:59,134 --> 00:01:00,875 to dab sweat off your nethers. 23 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:04,137 -(man grunts) -Our napkins are not beach towels, y'all. 24 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,381 Hey, bitch-padre. 25 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,458 We on for Slusheritos tonight? 26 00:01:08,552 --> 00:01:12,404 You know it! I live for our Tuesday night Slusherito bashes! 27 00:01:12,556 --> 00:01:14,965 Tuesday Spewsday! 28 00:01:14,983 --> 00:01:17,409 Oh, by the way, here's that shirt I borrowed. 29 00:01:17,636 --> 00:01:18,819 Thanks again, Jenny. 30 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,562 Cool. You're welcome. 31 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,564 Uh, wait. 32 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,399 It's missing a sleeve. 33 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,309 Oh, what? 34 00:01:25,327 --> 00:01:26,643 This space right here. 35 00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:28,253 This is where a sleeve should be. 36 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,980 Oh, yeah, that. 37 00:01:29,998 --> 00:01:32,240 So, ha-ha. Crazy story. 38 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,669 I popped into a gas station to get a squirt-bottle fan, 39 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:36,929 and this lady came out of nowhere 40 00:01:37,156 --> 00:01:38,322 and grabbed the last one, 41 00:01:38,382 --> 00:01:40,340 so I body-checked her into the jerky rack, 42 00:01:40,492 --> 00:01:42,768 and she tore the sleeve off in retaliation. 43 00:01:42,995 --> 00:01:44,252 Heat waves, am I right? 44 00:01:44,346 --> 00:01:46,330 It's just that, when I lend you a two-sleeved shirt, 45 00:01:46,423 --> 00:01:49,608 I kind of expect it to come back with, you know, two sleeves. 46 00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:54,004 Okay, well, you should have told me beforehand then. 47 00:01:54,097 --> 00:01:56,173 I can't read your mind, Jenny. 48 00:01:56,191 --> 00:01:59,100 I'm not the Long Island Medium, Theresa Caputo. 49 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,511 Well, I couldn't have predicted you'd rip a sleeve off 50 00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:05,015 'cause I am also not the Long Island Medium, Theresa Caputo. 51 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,291 Good. We both agree 52 00:02:06,443 --> 00:02:08,943 we're not the Long Island Medium, Theresa Caputo. 53 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,704 -(grunting) -Help! My butt implants 54 00:02:10,856 --> 00:02:14,115 have dangerously suctioned me to this wet booth! 55 00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,801 -(loud ripping) -(screaming) 56 00:02:16,028 --> 00:02:18,262 ♪ ♪ 57 00:02:45,982 --> 00:02:48,983 WAYNE: Okay, y'all ready? 58 00:02:49,077 --> 00:02:50,076 I think the cold's built up enough. 59 00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:52,045 I'm gonna give us another blast. 60 00:02:52,155 --> 00:02:53,988 -Oh, Lord, yes. -Deliver me, sweet Jesus. 61 00:02:54,082 --> 00:02:57,158 Did I miss the blast?! Ugh! I'm so hot, I think 62 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,568 there are parts of me that are safe to eat. 63 00:02:58,662 --> 00:03:00,495 I'm meeting Travis at the movies to soak up 64 00:03:00,589 --> 00:03:03,757 that sweet, sweet movie-theater AC. You want to come? 65 00:03:03,909 --> 00:03:05,517 -Yes. -Oh, God, yes. 66 00:03:05,669 --> 00:03:07,519 Okay, we can do this. 67 00:03:07,671 --> 00:03:09,746 You ready? (inhales deeply) 68 00:03:09,839 --> 00:03:11,765 (all yelling) 69 00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:13,433 (groans) 70 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,435 (whimpers) 71 00:03:15,587 --> 00:03:16,645 Ugh. 72 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:17,863 We just got to get to my truck! 73 00:03:18,014 --> 00:03:18,864 I'll turn on the AC. 74 00:03:19,015 --> 00:03:20,424 -Aah! -Aah! 75 00:03:20,517 --> 00:03:22,868 Wayne, why is there hot air coming out of these vents? 76 00:03:23,019 --> 00:03:25,111 Your dumb-ass truck's got its wires crossed. 77 00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:26,763 Now don't talk to her like that. 78 00:03:26,782 --> 00:03:28,207 You know she doesn't like the heat. 79 00:03:28,358 --> 00:03:31,101 -(engine revs) -I'm sorry, baby. I know you're trying. 80 00:03:31,119 --> 00:03:33,620 I think this heat's making Wayne loony. 81 00:03:33,772 --> 00:03:38,133 No, he's right. She doesn't like the heat. She told me. 82 00:03:41,129 --> 00:03:42,779 (easy listening music playing) 83 00:03:42,798 --> 00:03:44,556 (all sigh) 84 00:03:44,783 --> 00:03:46,040 (dramatic movie music playing) 85 00:03:46,134 --> 00:03:48,635 Dr. Angelica, the missile's too heavy 86 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,396 for this electric, computer-made foreign truck. 87 00:03:51,548 --> 00:03:54,399 Impossible. All my Harvard PhD calculations say 88 00:03:54,626 --> 00:03:56,977 that this truck is scientifically designed 89 00:03:57,129 --> 00:03:58,386 to handle maximum haulage. 90 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,072 Well, you better start recalculating 91 00:04:00,223 --> 00:04:02,299 'cause we've only got 30 seconds 92 00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:04,985 to haul this missile into the desert before it explodes 93 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,320 and kills everyone in the Western world. 94 00:04:07,473 --> 00:04:11,917 Maybe you need to haul it with something made in America. 95 00:04:12,144 --> 00:04:13,643 Wayne, that's your truck! 96 00:04:13,662 --> 00:04:15,645 Haul Force One! 97 00:04:15,739 --> 00:04:18,482 (playing upbeat tune) 98 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:21,260 ♪ ♪ 99 00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:30,936 (engine revving) 100 00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:32,178 (whoops) 101 00:04:33,089 --> 00:04:36,424 That's my truck! That's my sweet baby up there! 102 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,851 Shut up! Sit down! 103 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,595 You're ruining the experience for everyone. 104 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,523 Who buys my bootleg DVDs. 105 00:04:43,675 --> 00:04:45,842 (heavenly music plays) 106 00:04:45,861 --> 00:04:50,180 Ugh. It's so hot, I am this close to shaving my beard. 107 00:04:50,198 --> 00:04:52,015 -What do you think? -No. 108 00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:53,608 How about a mustache? 109 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,685 It's a little too dastardly for my taste. 110 00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:59,614 You look like you're about to tie a lady to some train tracks. 111 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,616 I call this "parting the waters." 112 00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:03,026 It's my answer to The Rachel. 113 00:05:03,045 --> 00:05:06,788 ZZ Top? Hulk Hogan? Iron Man? 114 00:05:07,457 --> 00:05:09,866 Oh, come on. This is good stuff, Jenny. 115 00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:12,811 I'm sorry. I'm just so freaking mad at Brenda right now. 116 00:05:12,962 --> 00:05:14,871 Jenny, you gals need to talk. 117 00:05:14,964 --> 00:05:16,464 No, never mind. It's okay. 118 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,542 It's just this heat. It's making us all crazy. 119 00:05:18,635 --> 00:05:20,301 I'm gonna do something I haven't done 120 00:05:20,395 --> 00:05:22,896 in a thousand years or so-- religious visions. 121 00:05:23,048 --> 00:05:24,806 -Relax into it. -Really? 122 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,383 (laughs) No. 123 00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:29,386 I'm just gonna remind you of a bunch of stuff Brenda did. 124 00:05:29,404 --> 00:05:32,722 Brenda! I just found my purse emptied out 125 00:05:32,741 --> 00:05:35,575 in the bathroom garbage, and my wallet was already missing! 126 00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:38,653 I asked you to watch it for five minutes! 127 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,914 Jenny, I don't work for you. 128 00:05:41,066 --> 00:05:42,490 I mean, I can if you pay me. 129 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,992 That'll be hard since some boo-boo stole your wallet. 130 00:05:45,087 --> 00:05:47,571 What a conundrum, am I right? 131 00:05:47,589 --> 00:05:50,164 (music playing faintly) 132 00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:53,743 Brenda, did you break every one of my lipsticks? 133 00:05:53,837 --> 00:05:55,912 I paint with a heavy hand! 134 00:05:55,931 --> 00:05:57,356 Brenda, what the hell?! 135 00:05:57,583 --> 00:06:00,192 Okay, someone might have spilled a full bowl 136 00:06:00,419 --> 00:06:02,419 of Cap'n Crunch all over y'all's car last night 137 00:06:02,512 --> 00:06:05,513 and then left the door ajar to air out their cereal farts. 138 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,700 But, you know, there is no way to be sure. 139 00:06:08,927 --> 00:06:10,427 Okay, I see it now. 140 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,929 And I don't recall a single "I'm sorry" in there. 141 00:06:13,022 --> 00:06:14,039 I'm gonna go talk to her. 142 00:06:14,266 --> 00:06:17,417 Good! Wait, wait, wait. Watch this. 143 00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:20,212 Nope. 144 00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:27,201 ALL: Ugh! 145 00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:29,370 Forgot we're living in a hellscape. 146 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,872 Whoa. Is this your truck? 147 00:06:30,966 --> 00:06:33,133 Sure is. Had her for years. 148 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,952 Whoa. Is that the freaking car from the freaking movie? 149 00:06:35,971 --> 00:06:37,454 Dad, get out your little money-writing book 150 00:06:37,547 --> 00:06:39,973 and start writing some money to get me that car. 151 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,383 -Y'all, we need to get a move on. -(gasping) 152 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:45,386 My panties are starting to steam and not in a fun way. 153 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:48,465 You, blue-collar beer commercial man, how much for the truck? 154 00:06:48,558 --> 00:06:51,301 Oh, I could never sell this old girl. Part of the family. 155 00:06:51,394 --> 00:06:53,895 Don't worry, baby. You're my ride-or-die. 156 00:06:53,989 --> 00:06:55,747 No sale. Sorry, kiddo. 157 00:06:55,899 --> 00:06:57,157 My name is Bryce, not "kiddo." 158 00:06:57,309 --> 00:06:59,309 And I'm not interested in whatever weird, 159 00:06:59,402 --> 00:07:01,953 anthropomorphic bond you have with your truck. 160 00:07:02,105 --> 00:07:03,922 Wow. Anthropomorphic? 161 00:07:04,149 --> 00:07:06,332 Let me guess. A word you learned at the prep school 162 00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:08,576 your dad paid for by refusing to offer the employees 163 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,321 of whatever dumb company he owns a living wage. 164 00:07:11,339 --> 00:07:14,007 And let me guess. You got that judgmental attitude 165 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,101 from an endless chorus of people telling you 166 00:07:16,328 --> 00:07:19,604 that rich people are the source of all your hardships? 167 00:07:19,756 --> 00:07:20,939 When you got that haircut, 168 00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:22,774 did you ask for the Joran van der Sloot? 169 00:07:23,001 --> 00:07:24,592 When you got yours, did you ask for 170 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,446 the poor girl from Les Mis the day after she sells her hair? 171 00:07:27,673 --> 00:07:29,172 -Her name is Fantine. -I know her name. 172 00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:32,192 Well, unfortunately, when it comes to this truck, 173 00:07:32,344 --> 00:07:34,786 I can't be swayed by any dollar amount. 174 00:07:34,938 --> 00:07:38,272 Oh, my God! Yes! Deal! 175 00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:41,201 Wayne, no! This is your truck. Look at her. 176 00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:43,778 Yeah, Wayne. And we are not gonna indulge 177 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,021 this spoiled little... 178 00:07:45,114 --> 00:07:46,998 -Hey-oh! -Oh, come on, Betty. 179 00:07:47,225 --> 00:07:49,784 No amount of money could possibly justify... 180 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,285 Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing! 181 00:07:51,379 --> 00:07:54,214 Pull it together. This can't be... Ay-ay-ay-ay! 182 00:07:54,366 --> 00:07:56,716 Okay, so we all agree that this is a real 183 00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:59,978 hey-ooh, boi-oi-oi-oi-oing, homina-homina-homina, 184 00:08:00,129 --> 00:08:02,314 wee-haa, wee-haa number here? 185 00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:04,541 Yes, there's no question it's a hot-cha-cha 186 00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:06,467 "I'll have what she's having" number. 187 00:08:06,561 --> 00:08:07,819 But you love this truck. 188 00:08:07,971 --> 00:08:09,654 Yeah, no. What am I thinking? 189 00:08:09,881 --> 00:08:11,138 I'm not gonna sell this old girl. 190 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,716 Let me just see the check again. 191 00:08:12,734 --> 00:08:14,234 Booyah-ka-sha! 192 00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:18,888 Once again, I set the goal, then made my dreams come true. 193 00:08:18,907 --> 00:08:20,999 (engine revving, tires squealing) 194 00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:27,564 Ugh! I have had it up to here with butt sweat. 195 00:08:27,582 --> 00:08:30,917 Sweat's already gross, but when it drips off a butt? 196 00:08:31,069 --> 00:08:33,327 -Unsubscribe. -Gross! 197 00:08:33,421 --> 00:08:34,662 You are so thoughtless! 198 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,015 Take responsibility and act like a damn adult! 199 00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,833 -What?! -You wrecked my shirt. 200 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,852 And I think you need to apologize. 201 00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:42,854 You sound like my mom. 202 00:08:43,006 --> 00:08:45,232 You know what? We should just call it. 203 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,934 Fine! Friend break. 204 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,195 Permanent friend break. Shake on it. 205 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:57,443 Psych! Former friends don't shake hands. 206 00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,204 Ugh! 207 00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:07,270 Heat Wave Dick continues with temperatures 208 00:09:07,289 --> 00:09:10,774 holding steady in the upper 90s. MayKay? 209 00:09:10,867 --> 00:09:13,534 Oh! Big, I'm getting divebombed 210 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:14,794 by super mosquitos! 211 00:09:14,946 --> 00:09:16,054 -(groaning) -(buzzing) 212 00:09:16,205 --> 00:09:19,057 Excuse me. Trying to get by. Beep, beep. 213 00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:20,708 Well, I'm trying to take an order, 214 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:24,120 so you're gonna have to wait a minute. Toot, toot. 215 00:09:24,139 --> 00:09:25,955 These plates are really hot, they're burning my hands. 216 00:09:26,049 --> 00:09:27,140 So move. Honk, honk. 217 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,792 Well, you should have thought about that 218 00:09:28,885 --> 00:09:30,293 before you grabbed them. 219 00:09:30,386 --> 00:09:34,147 Maybe take some personal responsibility for your actions. 220 00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:35,982 So back it up. 221 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:39,077 -Meep. Meep. Meep. -Whoa, what's going on here? 222 00:09:39,304 --> 00:09:41,821 They used to be like two peas in a pod. 223 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,081 Oh, they had a huge blowout. 224 00:09:43,308 --> 00:09:44,583 Where the hell you been, brother? 225 00:09:44,734 --> 00:09:45,825 I had a kidney stone, 226 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,310 not that anyone asked. 227 00:09:47,329 --> 00:09:49,904 Well, that's my oversight, and I do apologize. 228 00:09:49,998 --> 00:09:52,090 Shut up, you idiots! 229 00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:56,410 Brenda, what the hell?! 230 00:09:56,430 --> 00:10:00,932 It. Is. A. Heat. Wave. Jenny. 231 00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:03,326 We have a million customers out there. 232 00:10:03,419 --> 00:10:05,845 Shouldn't be that hard for Lady Two-Arms 233 00:10:05,997 --> 00:10:10,025 and her miraculous sleeves to handle. 234 00:10:18,176 --> 00:10:20,009 Why did I go all the way to the end? 235 00:10:20,028 --> 00:10:21,786 I knew where it was going. Self-burn. 236 00:10:22,013 --> 00:10:23,270 TRAVIS: Now, remember what I told you 237 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,015 about buying a car. Don't show emotion. 238 00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:27,608 Never let 'em know how much you want it. 239 00:10:27,702 --> 00:10:29,336 Oh, my God! 240 00:10:30,780 --> 00:10:32,797 The new Dakota Thunder?! 241 00:10:32,949 --> 00:10:34,524 We want this one. We'll pay anything! 242 00:10:34,617 --> 00:10:35,950 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 243 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:39,954 Hi, Gina. Uh, I'm not sure I need this much truck. 244 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,714 (laughs) That's funny. 245 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,533 You're calling it a truck. 246 00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:44,884 Gentlemen, 247 00:10:45,036 --> 00:10:46,978 welcome to the Dakota Thunder Lifestyle Platform. 248 00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:50,482 Strong enough to tow the Freedom Tower up Mount Denali. 249 00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:51,816 Goose down headrests, 250 00:10:51,968 --> 00:10:54,152 leather from Kobe beef cows, and, hey, 251 00:10:54,303 --> 00:10:55,803 you guys into tailgating? 252 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,697 -(alarm beeps) -(NFL theme playing) 253 00:10:58,733 --> 00:11:00,075 -Oh! -Ah! 254 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,830 -Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay...! -Homina, homina, homina, homina. 255 00:11:06,057 --> 00:11:07,148 Sounds like a yes! 256 00:11:07,242 --> 00:11:09,225 We'll just do a quick six hours of paperwork 257 00:11:09,244 --> 00:11:11,895 in a cramped office, and you'll be on your way. 258 00:11:11,988 --> 00:11:14,063 -(alarm beeps) -(confetti poppers whistle) 259 00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:16,916 You know, my old truck was all broken-in. 260 00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:18,159 Like, we got each other. 261 00:11:18,253 --> 00:11:21,404 But this truck, eh, I don't know. 262 00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:23,181 Kind of feels like maybe she's a little out of my league. 263 00:11:23,408 --> 00:11:25,742 Wayne, this is the Dakota Thunder. 264 00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:26,926 Just point her towards the sunset, 265 00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:28,928 and she'll take care of the rest. 266 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,522 Okay, just gonna... 267 00:11:30,673 --> 00:11:32,339 ease her off the lot here. 268 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,525 (tires screech) 269 00:11:33,752 --> 00:11:35,101 (blinker clicking) 270 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,678 Okay, looking good over here. How's it looking over there? 271 00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:38,922 You got room for days over here. 272 00:11:39,015 --> 00:11:42,534 I know! Just let me check one more time. 273 00:11:42,761 --> 00:11:44,035 And then back over here. 274 00:11:44,187 --> 00:11:46,353 All right, now-now, am I getting too close to that sign? 275 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,115 -You see that sign? Am I too close to that sign? -Wayne. 276 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,876 Looking pretty good on my side. How's your side looking? 277 00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:54,195 Nothing but street. All you, bro. 278 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,197 WAYNE: Whoa, whoa! Hold the phone! 279 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,441 Yeah, got a pedestrian over here. 280 00:11:58,460 --> 00:11:59,867 Man, she came out of nowhere. 281 00:11:59,961 --> 00:12:02,554 I think you got time on that one, Wayne. 282 00:12:02,781 --> 00:12:05,974 (whooping and shouting) 283 00:12:09,637 --> 00:12:12,713 -Whoa! Look at that truck! -That is one smooth truck, homes! 284 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,065 Come on, man! 285 00:12:14,292 --> 00:12:15,308 -Let it rip! -(honking horn) 286 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,476 Hmm. 287 00:12:16,628 --> 00:12:19,195 (beeping) 288 00:12:21,132 --> 00:12:23,816 WAYNE: Ugh, gross. 289 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,893 Hang on, y'all. I'm gonna get her dirty. 290 00:12:25,987 --> 00:12:27,303 I'm gonna get her all messed up. 291 00:12:27,396 --> 00:12:29,748 I saw some better mud over there. 292 00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:32,208 (back-up indicator beeping) 293 00:12:35,238 --> 00:12:38,256 -(tires screech) -(beeping) 294 00:12:39,317 --> 00:12:41,484 Whoo-hoo! We're mudding, y'all! 295 00:12:41,503 --> 00:12:43,486 -(Wayne chuckles) -Dang, dawg. 296 00:12:43,505 --> 00:12:47,599 He went from Haul Force One to Haul Force None. 297 00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:48,841 (beeping) 298 00:12:48,994 --> 00:12:50,560 (gasps) 299 00:12:52,847 --> 00:12:54,180 Doo, doo-doo-doo. 300 00:12:54,332 --> 00:12:57,091 Jenny, thank you so much for inviting me out. 301 00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:01,170 I have been dying to slum it in this skeezy dive bar. 302 00:13:01,264 --> 00:13:03,114 Louise, this is a chain restaurant. 303 00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:04,507 There's a kids' play area. 304 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,676 I feel like I'm in a Goodfellas movie. 305 00:13:06,694 --> 00:13:09,103 -Why don't you put another shot in this one? -So, Jenny, 306 00:13:09,197 --> 00:13:11,623 since I'm now in your friend zone, 307 00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:14,033 let's do some girlfriend gossip. 308 00:13:14,185 --> 00:13:15,518 I heard you and Brenda are having 309 00:13:15,537 --> 00:13:18,371 a little squabbledy-doodly- doo-doo-doo-doo. 310 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,798 Louise, I don't really want to talk about Brenda 311 00:13:19,949 --> 00:13:21,190 if that's okay. 312 00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,284 I don't know how you put up with it, Jenny. 313 00:13:23,378 --> 00:13:26,029 Brenda's just one set of paperwork away 314 00:13:26,047 --> 00:13:28,139 from the federal government stepping in 315 00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:30,733 and declaring her a public menace. 316 00:13:30,793 --> 00:13:33,870 Isn't it annoying, constantly covering her tables 317 00:13:33,963 --> 00:13:37,373 'cause she's over picking out wedgies by the soda fountain? 318 00:13:37,392 --> 00:13:39,725 She also ruined a really nice shirt of mine. 319 00:13:39,878 --> 00:13:40,985 Of course she did. 320 00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:42,987 She probably busted out of it like the Hulk. 321 00:13:43,139 --> 00:13:45,639 She takes naps in your car, you know. 322 00:13:45,733 --> 00:13:46,899 That beast! 323 00:13:47,052 --> 00:13:49,235 I wondered why it smelled like cereal farts. 324 00:13:49,387 --> 00:13:52,330 And she owes you for that shirt, Jenny. 325 00:13:52,557 --> 00:13:53,832 She won't even apologize! 326 00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:56,501 Ugh. She is a wild animal. 327 00:13:56,652 --> 00:13:58,728 A silly ole crazy lady. 328 00:13:58,746 --> 00:14:00,154 Lock her up. 329 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,006 I'm being fun. 330 00:14:02,901 --> 00:14:03,766 LOUISE: Jenny, 331 00:14:03,826 --> 00:14:05,326 so fun last night, 332 00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:09,088 dishing and gabbing and having a dang ole kiki. 333 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:10,682 Oh, yeah, but I shouldn't have said 334 00:14:10,909 --> 00:14:12,091 all that stuff about Brenda. 335 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:15,428 Okay, put a little ole pin in that, Jenny. 336 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:16,337 Brenda, you're fired. 337 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,355 -Wait. What? -The hell? 338 00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:18,915 No, no, no, wait. Hang on, Louise. 339 00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:20,416 You're always late. 340 00:14:20,435 --> 00:14:21,526 You steal food, 341 00:14:21,677 --> 00:14:23,528 and you sleep in my four-door Lexus sedan 342 00:14:23,679 --> 00:14:26,105 on a bed of cereal gas. 343 00:14:26,257 --> 00:14:28,533 Screw you, Bene-dick Arnold! 344 00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:31,518 -Ugh. Brenda, wait! -(entry bell chimes) 345 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:35,448 So, Jenny. What's on tonight's fungenda? 346 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:36,949 (gasps) 347 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,526 Hold that thought, girlfriend. 348 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,130 There's a bunch of glass in my hair. 349 00:14:47,203 --> 00:14:51,114 Well, news flash: it's still hot. 350 00:14:51,132 --> 00:14:52,706 They want you to fry this. 351 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,392 Ew, what? 352 00:14:54,619 --> 00:14:56,561 Fry it on the sidewalk. 353 00:14:56,712 --> 00:14:59,063 (grunts) 354 00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:05,552 This is Brenda. I'm either passed out or bonin', 355 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,629 so leave a message. 356 00:15:06,648 --> 00:15:08,297 Hey. Listen, I'm so sorry. 357 00:15:08,391 --> 00:15:10,742 And I never meant for this to happen. 358 00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:12,160 (fans whirring) 359 00:15:12,971 --> 00:15:14,728 (glass breaks) 360 00:15:14,822 --> 00:15:16,822 ♪ ♪ 361 00:15:16,975 --> 00:15:19,492 (speaking indistinctly) 362 00:15:19,644 --> 00:15:22,253 ♪ ♪ 363 00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:26,165 ♪ Look around you ♪ 364 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,500 Ooh... 365 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,427 I'm gonna order a giant juicy steak 366 00:15:29,654 --> 00:15:31,930 -with a big ole pad of butter on top. -No. 367 00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:34,657 You should have a salad. It's way healthier, Wayne. 368 00:15:34,676 --> 00:15:37,101 Oh, my parents are expecting us at the country club tomorrow. 369 00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:39,270 (echoing): They're announcing our engagement. 370 00:15:39,422 --> 00:15:41,664 (truck speaking indistinctly) 371 00:15:41,683 --> 00:15:44,684 ♪ Look around ♪ 372 00:15:44,836 --> 00:15:46,778 Are you even listening to me? 373 00:15:46,929 --> 00:15:48,004 (sighs) I'm sorry. 374 00:15:48,022 --> 00:15:49,930 I tried to make it work, but... 375 00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,783 there's another truck who has my heart. 376 00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:53,176 You bastard! 377 00:15:53,194 --> 00:15:54,677 I can't pretend I didn't see this coming. 378 00:15:54,696 --> 00:15:57,271 But at least one of us should be happy. 379 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,957 Go to her. Go to your... 380 00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:01,275 ♪ So, lady ♪ 381 00:16:01,369 --> 00:16:04,020 ♪ Let me take a look at you now ♪ 382 00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:05,296 Oh, this baby's mine. 383 00:16:05,448 --> 00:16:06,798 And you'll never get her back. 384 00:16:06,949 --> 00:16:08,207 Not when the floor is lava. 385 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,876 ♪ You're there on the dance floor ♪ 386 00:16:11,029 --> 00:16:15,698 ♪ Making me want you somehow. ♪ 387 00:16:15,717 --> 00:16:18,625 No! No! 388 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:19,793 (gasps) Lady! 389 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:22,038 Fingers! God, it's broiling in here. 390 00:16:22,056 --> 00:16:23,706 I was dreaming about my truck. 391 00:16:23,725 --> 00:16:25,149 Yeah, you love that truck. 392 00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:26,967 You should never have gotten rid of that truck. 393 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,378 Yeah, well, you never should have gotten rid of Brenda. 394 00:16:29,397 --> 00:16:31,714 Man, I can't believe y'all aren't talking. 395 00:16:31,733 --> 00:16:32,898 I tried. 396 00:16:33,051 --> 00:16:34,808 Well, maybe you didn't try hard enough. 397 00:16:34,902 --> 00:16:36,886 'Cause I'm gonna get my truck back. 398 00:16:36,904 --> 00:16:38,496 Wait, what was your dream about? 399 00:16:38,723 --> 00:16:40,957 Fancy cookies. 400 00:16:42,076 --> 00:16:44,836 Violet, I got to get my old truck back. 401 00:16:45,063 --> 00:16:46,395 I miss her something terrible. 402 00:16:46,414 --> 00:16:48,731 I hate to say I told you so, 403 00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:50,508 so I'll do it telepathically. 404 00:16:50,735 --> 00:16:53,011 (buzzing) 405 00:16:53,162 --> 00:16:55,129 I'm searching your mind for who told you so. 406 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,663 (gasps) I found it. It's me. 407 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,758 Just help me figure out how to get my truck back. 408 00:16:58,910 --> 00:17:00,092 Well, it won't be easy. 409 00:17:00,245 --> 00:17:02,186 No one's ever said no to that kid. 410 00:17:02,413 --> 00:17:04,671 The only reason he even wanted my truck is 411 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,767 'cause he saw it in that stupid, awesome movie. 412 00:17:07,919 --> 00:17:09,027 Ap-ap-ap-ap-ap-ap-ap! 413 00:17:09,178 --> 00:17:11,553 I'm generating an idea. I need absolute silence. 414 00:17:11,606 --> 00:17:12,679 Yes, I got it. 415 00:17:12,774 --> 00:17:14,681 All he wants is to have the hottest thing 416 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,183 before anyone else does. 417 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,261 And I think we can serve it up to him. 418 00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:20,997 Also, I told you so. 419 00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:32,608 "Love, Jenny." 420 00:17:32,701 --> 00:17:34,277 (sighs) Dang. 421 00:17:34,295 --> 00:17:37,013 She really does take good care of me. 422 00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:41,184 Oh, yeah! 423 00:17:42,878 --> 00:17:44,303 (sighs) 424 00:17:45,623 --> 00:17:47,732 Got the Christopher Nolan Batmobile over there. 425 00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:50,459 The mail truck from You've Got Mail, of course. 426 00:17:50,553 --> 00:17:53,387 -And over there is... -Hold on. What's that? 427 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:58,634 Is that the Jag hearse from Harold and Maude? 428 00:17:58,653 --> 00:18:00,636 Oh, yeah. I'm surprised you recognized it. 429 00:18:00,696 --> 00:18:02,413 Harold and Maude is my favorite movie. 430 00:18:02,565 --> 00:18:05,308 -Harold and Maude is my favorite movie. -Why? 431 00:18:05,401 --> 00:18:08,086 Because it's about a rich kid who gets everything he wants? 432 00:18:08,313 --> 00:18:11,314 No. It's because Harold rails against societal norms 433 00:18:11,332 --> 00:18:13,983 and lives to torture his insane mom. 434 00:18:14,001 --> 00:18:16,928 Okay, great. You're a genius, I guess. 435 00:18:17,079 --> 00:18:18,671 Now, let's get down to business. 436 00:18:18,823 --> 00:18:20,339 Yes, let's. I'm very curious 437 00:18:20,491 --> 00:18:22,007 as to what kind of "opportunity" 438 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,936 that you, a poor, have for me. 439 00:18:25,163 --> 00:18:26,753 Oh, just a little private meet and greet 440 00:18:26,848 --> 00:18:28,589 -with the star of the upcoming Haul Force sequel. -(gasps) 441 00:18:28,683 --> 00:18:31,943 Haul Force Two: Space Haul. 442 00:18:32,094 --> 00:18:34,337 Homina, homina, homina. (stammers) How, how, how? 443 00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:35,671 How is this possible? 444 00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:37,532 Have you seen the movie? What's the catchphrase? 445 00:18:38,601 --> 00:18:42,011 Uh... Houston, we... 446 00:18:42,029 --> 00:18:45,514 Do not have a problem, because... 447 00:18:45,608 --> 00:18:47,183 We have a truck? 448 00:18:47,201 --> 00:18:48,108 In space. 449 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:50,294 "Houston, we don't have a problem 450 00:18:50,521 --> 00:18:53,280 because we have a truck in space"? 451 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,300 Oh, I friggin' love that! 452 00:18:56,452 --> 00:18:59,528 This franchise is so dumb that it might actually be 453 00:18:59,547 --> 00:19:01,955 a brilliant surrealist masterpiece. 454 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,175 That's exactly what you said about it, Violet. 455 00:19:04,327 --> 00:19:06,126 Shut up. No, I didn't. This is boring. 456 00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:08,795 Okay, I need this truck. Name your price. 457 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:11,131 Ten million dollars. 458 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,133 Or how about just an even trade? 459 00:19:13,227 --> 00:19:15,394 Haul Force One for Haul Force Two. 460 00:19:15,546 --> 00:19:17,546 Wait. I think we can do better than that. 461 00:19:17,565 --> 00:19:19,306 How about Wayne's truck 462 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,242 plus $651? 463 00:19:21,977 --> 00:19:24,978 Best $651 ever spent. 464 00:19:25,072 --> 00:19:27,239 This AC feels good. 465 00:19:27,392 --> 00:19:29,650 Oh, sweet, sweet air conditioning. 466 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,002 This feels so good, 467 00:19:31,153 --> 00:19:32,503 I don't even care what Gram's doing right now. 468 00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:34,655 I'm freezing my bra. 469 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,916 My underboobs are overheating. 470 00:19:37,068 --> 00:19:39,427 Let's get some mud on this thing. 471 00:19:40,588 --> 00:19:41,904 What do you say, baby? 472 00:19:41,923 --> 00:19:43,431 (engine revs) 473 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,226 (cheering, whooping) 474 00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:54,066 ♪ ♪ 475 00:20:03,185 --> 00:20:06,871 Jenny, I was sitting there, thinking I don't need you. 476 00:20:07,022 --> 00:20:09,856 Then I realized you remind me to wear pants 477 00:20:09,951 --> 00:20:11,191 and eat green things 478 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,786 and stop sending nudes all willy-nilly. 479 00:20:13,938 --> 00:20:15,880 You totally keep me alive. 480 00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:17,882 Well, I love you being alive. 481 00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:19,533 I got something for you. 482 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,701 (gasps) 483 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,868 I fixed it. 484 00:20:21,963 --> 00:20:24,222 -Aw... -Look on the back. 485 00:20:25,116 --> 00:20:26,632 It's completely unwearable. 486 00:20:26,784 --> 00:20:27,725 It's perfect. 487 00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:29,134 (grunts) Come on. 488 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,636 We're gonna get your job back. 489 00:20:30,788 --> 00:20:32,638 (entry bell chimes) 490 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:33,806 Brenda, you're rehired. 491 00:20:33,958 --> 00:20:35,791 -What? -What made you change your mind? 492 00:20:35,884 --> 00:20:37,401 They did. 493 00:20:37,553 --> 00:20:39,128 (hissing) 494 00:20:39,146 --> 00:20:40,905 Brenda's the only one here 495 00:20:41,132 --> 00:20:42,907 who can deal with the possum problem. 496 00:20:43,134 --> 00:20:45,243 Oh, hell yeah. I got this. 497 00:20:45,470 --> 00:20:47,653 Why does she always have to take her top off? 498 00:20:47,805 --> 00:20:49,488 She has to become one of them. 499 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,156 Possum party! 500 00:20:51,309 --> 00:20:53,251 -(hissing) -(clattering) -Yeah! (groans) 501 00:20:57,315 --> 00:21:00,258 ♪ Well, if you want to sing out, sing out ♪ 502 00:21:00,409 --> 00:21:03,076 ♪ And if you want to be free, be free ♪ 503 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:06,839 ♪ 'Cause there's a million things to be ♪ 504 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:09,850 ♪ You know that there are ♪ 505 00:21:11,253 --> 00:21:13,920 ♪ And if you want to live high, live high... ♪ 506 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,756 You look good in the... 507 00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:17,257 Uh-uh. 508 00:21:17,351 --> 00:21:18,759 If you want to come in, we could watch the... 509 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,779 Shut up. You're not cool enough to talk to me yet. 510 00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:24,323 ♪ You know that there are ♪ 511 00:21:26,844 --> 00:21:29,044 ♪ You can do what you want. ♪ 512 00:21:29,046 --> 00:21:30,696 -(meows) -(horn honks musically) 513 00:21:30,848 --> 00:21:32,848 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 514 00:21:32,908 --> 00:21:34,375 and TOYOTA.