1
00:00:02,061 --> 00:00:03,060
BIG:
Whew!
2
00:00:03,153 --> 00:00:04,561
Gonna be another scorcher today
3
00:00:04,654 --> 00:00:06,913
with a wave
of record heat and humidity
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00:00:07,066 --> 00:00:09,341
we're calling Heat Wave Dick.
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00:00:09,568 --> 00:00:11,585
Reporting live
from downtown Greenpoint
6
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,403
is our own MayKay Bueller.
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00:00:13,497 --> 00:00:15,681
How's everybody coping
out there, MayKay?
8
00:00:15,832 --> 00:00:18,350
Hoo-hoo! Oh, oh, hi there, Big.
9
00:00:18,577 --> 00:00:21,169
I'm standing here
in the town square
10
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,521
with no one to interview
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because the National
Weather Service has literally
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ordered people indoors.
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So the question is:
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why the hell
am I still out here? (laughs)
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Ha! We'll be checking up
with MayKay for more news
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00:00:37,263 --> 00:00:39,538
on Heat Wave Dick
throughout the day.
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00:00:39,765 --> 00:00:40,781
Throughout the day?!
18
00:00:40,933 --> 00:00:44,251
(crowd chatter)
19
00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:52,534
Okay, y'all, now this isn't
a free AC factory,
20
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:56,704
so everybody better be ordering
or actively eating.
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00:00:56,799 --> 00:00:59,116
Also, quit using
the paper products
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00:00:59,134 --> 00:01:00,875
to dab sweat off
your nethers.
23
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:04,137
-(man grunts)
-Our napkins are not
beach towels, y'all.
24
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,381
Hey, bitch-padre.
25
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,458
We on for Slusheritos tonight?
26
00:01:08,552 --> 00:01:12,404
You know it! I live for our
Tuesday night Slusherito bashes!
27
00:01:12,556 --> 00:01:14,965
Tuesday Spewsday!
28
00:01:14,983 --> 00:01:17,409
Oh, by the way,
here's that shirt I borrowed.
29
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Thanks again, Jenny.
30
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,562
Cool. You're welcome.
31
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Uh, wait.
32
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,399
It's missing a sleeve.
33
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,309
Oh, what?
34
00:01:25,327 --> 00:01:26,643
This space right here.
35
00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:28,253
This is
where a sleeve should be.
36
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,980
Oh, yeah, that.
37
00:01:29,998 --> 00:01:32,240
So, ha-ha. Crazy story.
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00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,669
I popped into a gas station
to get a squirt-bottle fan,
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00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:36,929
and this lady came
out of nowhere
40
00:01:37,156 --> 00:01:38,322
and grabbed the last one,
41
00:01:38,382 --> 00:01:40,340
so I body-checked her
into the jerky rack,
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00:01:40,492 --> 00:01:42,768
and she tore the sleeve off
in retaliation.
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00:01:42,995 --> 00:01:44,252
Heat waves, am I right?
44
00:01:44,346 --> 00:01:46,330
It's just that, when I lend you
a two-sleeved shirt,
45
00:01:46,423 --> 00:01:49,608
I kind of expect it to come back
with, you know, two sleeves.
46
00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:54,004
Okay, well, you should have
told me beforehand then.
47
00:01:54,097 --> 00:01:56,173
I can't read your mind, Jenny.
48
00:01:56,191 --> 00:01:59,100
I'm not the Long Island Medium,
Theresa Caputo.
49
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,511
Well, I couldn't have predicted
you'd rip a sleeve off
50
00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:05,015
'cause I am also not the Long
Island Medium, Theresa Caputo.
51
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,291
Good. We both agree
52
00:02:06,443 --> 00:02:08,943
we're not the Long Island
Medium, Theresa Caputo.
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-(grunting)
-Help! My butt implants
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00:02:10,856 --> 00:02:14,115
have dangerously suctioned me
to this wet booth!
55
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-(loud ripping)
-(screaming)
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00:02:16,028 --> 00:02:18,262
♪ ♪
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00:02:45,982 --> 00:02:48,983
WAYNE:
Okay, y'all ready?
58
00:02:49,077 --> 00:02:50,076
I think
the cold's built up enough.
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00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:52,045
I'm gonna give us
another blast.
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00:02:52,155 --> 00:02:53,988
-Oh, Lord, yes.
-Deliver me, sweet Jesus.
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00:02:54,082 --> 00:02:57,158
Did I miss the blast?!
Ugh! I'm so hot, I think
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00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,568
there are parts of me
that are safe to eat.
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00:02:58,662 --> 00:03:00,495
I'm meeting Travis
at the movies to soak up
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00:03:00,589 --> 00:03:03,757
that sweet, sweet movie-theater
AC. You want to come?
65
00:03:03,909 --> 00:03:05,517
-Yes.
-Oh, God, yes.
66
00:03:05,669 --> 00:03:07,519
Okay, we can do this.
67
00:03:07,671 --> 00:03:09,746
You ready? (inhales deeply)
68
00:03:09,839 --> 00:03:11,765
(all yelling)
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00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:13,433
(groans)
70
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,435
(whimpers)
71
00:03:15,587 --> 00:03:16,645
Ugh.
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00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:17,863
We just got to get to my truck!
73
00:03:18,014 --> 00:03:18,864
I'll turn on the AC.
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00:03:19,015 --> 00:03:20,424
-Aah!
-Aah!
75
00:03:20,517 --> 00:03:22,868
Wayne, why is there hot air
coming out of these vents?
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00:03:23,019 --> 00:03:25,111
Your dumb-ass truck's got
its wires crossed.
77
00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:26,763
Now don't talk to her like that.
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00:03:26,782 --> 00:03:28,207
You know
she doesn't like the heat.
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-(engine revs)
-I'm sorry, baby.
I know you're trying.
80
00:03:31,119 --> 00:03:33,620
I think
this heat's making Wayne loony.
81
00:03:33,772 --> 00:03:38,133
No, he's right. She doesn't
like the heat. She told me.
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00:03:41,129 --> 00:03:42,779
(easy listening music playing)
83
00:03:42,798 --> 00:03:44,556
(all sigh)
84
00:03:44,783 --> 00:03:46,040
(dramatic movie music playing)
85
00:03:46,134 --> 00:03:48,635
Dr. Angelica,
the missile's too heavy
86
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,396
for this electric,
computer-made foreign truck.
87
00:03:51,548 --> 00:03:54,399
Impossible. All my Harvard
PhD calculations say
88
00:03:54,626 --> 00:03:56,977
that this truck is
scientifically designed
89
00:03:57,129 --> 00:03:58,386
to handle maximum haulage.
90
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,072
Well, you better start
recalculating
91
00:04:00,223 --> 00:04:02,299
'cause we've only got 30 seconds
92
00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:04,985
to haul this missile into
the desert before it explodes
93
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,320
and kills everyone
in the Western world.
94
00:04:07,473 --> 00:04:11,917
Maybe you need to haul it
with something made in America.
95
00:04:12,144 --> 00:04:13,643
Wayne, that's your truck!
96
00:04:13,662 --> 00:04:15,645
Haul Force One!
97
00:04:15,739 --> 00:04:18,482
(playing upbeat tune)
98
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:21,260
♪ ♪
99
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:30,936
(engine revving)
100
00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:32,178
(whoops)
101
00:04:33,089 --> 00:04:36,424
That's my truck!
That's my sweet baby up there!
102
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,851
Shut up! Sit down!
103
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,595
You're ruining the experience
for everyone.
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00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,523
Who buys my bootleg DVDs.
105
00:04:43,675 --> 00:04:45,842
(heavenly music plays)
106
00:04:45,861 --> 00:04:50,180
Ugh. It's so hot, I am
this close to shaving my beard.
107
00:04:50,198 --> 00:04:52,015
-What do you think?
-No.
108
00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:53,608
How about a mustache?
109
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,685
It's a little too dastardly
for my taste.
110
00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:59,614
You look like you're about to
tie a lady to some train tracks.
111
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,616
I call this
"parting the waters."
112
00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:03,026
It's my answer to The Rachel.
113
00:05:03,045 --> 00:05:06,788
ZZ Top? Hulk Hogan? Iron Man?
114
00:05:07,457 --> 00:05:09,866
Oh, come on.
This is good stuff, Jenny.
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00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:12,811
I'm sorry. I'm just so freaking
mad at Brenda right now.
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00:05:12,962 --> 00:05:14,871
Jenny, you gals need to talk.
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00:05:14,964 --> 00:05:16,464
No, never mind. It's okay.
118
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,542
It's just this heat.
It's making us all crazy.
119
00:05:18,635 --> 00:05:20,301
I'm gonna do something
I haven't done
120
00:05:20,395 --> 00:05:22,896
in a thousand years or so--
religious visions.
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00:05:23,048 --> 00:05:24,806
-Relax into it.
-Really?
122
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,383
(laughs)
No.
123
00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:29,386
I'm just gonna remind you
of a bunch of stuff Brenda did.
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00:05:29,404 --> 00:05:32,722
Brenda! I just found my purse
emptied out
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00:05:32,741 --> 00:05:35,575
in the bathroom garbage, and
my wallet was already missing!
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00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:38,653
I asked you to watch it
for five minutes!
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00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,914
Jenny, I don't work for you.
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00:05:41,066 --> 00:05:42,490
I mean, I can if you pay me.
129
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,992
That'll be hard since
some boo-boo stole your wallet.
130
00:05:45,087 --> 00:05:47,571
What a conundrum, am I right?
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00:05:47,589 --> 00:05:50,164
(music playing faintly)
132
00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:53,743
Brenda, did you break
every one of my lipsticks?
133
00:05:53,837 --> 00:05:55,912
I paint with a heavy hand!
134
00:05:55,931 --> 00:05:57,356
Brenda, what the hell?!
135
00:05:57,583 --> 00:06:00,192
Okay, someone might
have spilled a full bowl
136
00:06:00,419 --> 00:06:02,419
of Cap'n Crunch all over
y'all's car last night
137
00:06:02,512 --> 00:06:05,513
and then left the door ajar
to air out their cereal farts.
138
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,700
But, you know,
there is no way to be sure.
139
00:06:08,927 --> 00:06:10,427
Okay, I see it now.
140
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,929
And I don't recall a single
"I'm sorry" in there.
141
00:06:13,022 --> 00:06:14,039
I'm gonna go talk to her.
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00:06:14,266 --> 00:06:17,417
Good! Wait, wait, wait.
Watch this.
143
00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:20,212
Nope.
144
00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:27,201
ALL:
Ugh!
145
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:29,370
Forgot we're living
in a hellscape.
146
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,872
Whoa. Is this your truck?
147
00:06:30,966 --> 00:06:33,133
Sure is. Had her for years.
148
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,952
Whoa. Is that the freaking car
from the freaking movie?
149
00:06:35,971 --> 00:06:37,454
Dad, get out your little
money-writing book
150
00:06:37,547 --> 00:06:39,973
and start writing some money
to get me that car.
151
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,383
-Y'all, we need
to get a move on.
-(gasping)
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00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:45,386
My panties are starting
to steam and not in a fun way.
153
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:48,465
You, blue-collar beer commercial
man, how much for the truck?
154
00:06:48,558 --> 00:06:51,301
Oh, I could never sell this
old girl. Part of the family.
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00:06:51,394 --> 00:06:53,895
Don't worry, baby.
You're my ride-or-die.
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00:06:53,989 --> 00:06:55,747
No sale. Sorry, kiddo.
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00:06:55,899 --> 00:06:57,157
My name is Bryce, not "kiddo."
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00:06:57,309 --> 00:06:59,309
And I'm not interested
in whatever weird,
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00:06:59,402 --> 00:07:01,953
anthropomorphic bond
you have with your truck.
160
00:07:02,105 --> 00:07:03,922
Wow. Anthropomorphic?
161
00:07:04,149 --> 00:07:06,332
Let me guess. A word
you learned at the prep school
162
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:08,576
your dad paid for by refusing
to offer the employees
163
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,321
of whatever dumb company
he owns a living wage.
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00:07:11,339 --> 00:07:14,007
And let me guess.
You got that judgmental attitude
165
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,101
from an endless chorus
of people telling you
166
00:07:16,328 --> 00:07:19,604
that rich people are the source
of all your hardships?
167
00:07:19,756 --> 00:07:20,939
When you got that haircut,
168
00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:22,774
did you ask
for the Joran van der Sloot?
169
00:07:23,001 --> 00:07:24,592
When you got yours,
did you ask for
170
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,446
the poor girl from Les Mis the
day after she sells her hair?
171
00:07:27,673 --> 00:07:29,172
-Her name is Fantine.
-I know her name.
172
00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:32,192
Well, unfortunately,
when it comes to this truck,
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00:07:32,344 --> 00:07:34,786
I can't be swayed
by any dollar amount.
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00:07:34,938 --> 00:07:38,272
Oh, my God! Yes! Deal!
175
00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:41,201
Wayne, no!
This is your truck. Look at her.
176
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:43,778
Yeah, Wayne.
And we are not gonna indulge
177
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,021
this spoiled little...
178
00:07:45,114 --> 00:07:46,998
-Hey-oh!
-Oh, come on, Betty.
179
00:07:47,225 --> 00:07:49,784
No amount of money
could possibly justify...
180
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,285
Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing!
181
00:07:51,379 --> 00:07:54,214
Pull it together.
This can't be... Ay-ay-ay-ay!
182
00:07:54,366 --> 00:07:56,716
Okay, so we all agree
that this is a real
183
00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:59,978
hey-ooh, boi-oi-oi-oi-oing,
homina-homina-homina,
184
00:08:00,129 --> 00:08:02,314
wee-haa, wee-haa number here?
185
00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:04,541
Yes, there's no question
it's a hot-cha-cha
186
00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:06,467
"I'll have what she's having"
number.
187
00:08:06,561 --> 00:08:07,819
But you love this truck.
188
00:08:07,971 --> 00:08:09,654
Yeah, no. What am I thinking?
189
00:08:09,881 --> 00:08:11,138
I'm not gonna sell
this old girl.
190
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,716
Let me just see the check again.
191
00:08:12,734 --> 00:08:14,234
Booyah-ka-sha!
192
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:18,888
Once again, I set the goal,
then made my dreams come true.
193
00:08:18,907 --> 00:08:20,999
(engine revving,
tires squealing)
194
00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:27,564
Ugh! I have had it up
to here with butt sweat.
195
00:08:27,582 --> 00:08:30,917
Sweat's already gross,
but when it drips off a butt?
196
00:08:31,069 --> 00:08:33,327
-Unsubscribe.
-Gross!
197
00:08:33,421 --> 00:08:34,662
You are so thoughtless!
198
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,015
Take responsibility
and act like a damn adult!
199
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,833
-What?!
-You wrecked my shirt.
200
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,852
And I think
you need to apologize.
201
00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:42,854
You sound like my mom.
202
00:08:43,006 --> 00:08:45,232
You know what?
We should just call it.
203
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,934
Fine! Friend break.
204
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,195
Permanent friend break.
Shake on it.
205
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:57,443
Psych! Former friends
don't shake hands.
206
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,204
Ugh!
207
00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:07,270
Heat Wave Dick continues
with temperatures
208
00:09:07,289 --> 00:09:10,774
holding steady
in the upper 90s. MayKay?
209
00:09:10,867 --> 00:09:13,534
Oh! Big, I'm getting divebombed
210
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:14,794
by super mosquitos!
211
00:09:14,946 --> 00:09:16,054
-(groaning)
-(buzzing)
212
00:09:16,205 --> 00:09:19,057
Excuse me.
Trying to get by. Beep, beep.
213
00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:20,708
Well, I'm trying
to take an order,
214
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:24,120
so you're gonna have
to wait a minute. Toot, toot.
215
00:09:24,139 --> 00:09:25,955
These plates are really hot,
they're burning my hands.
216
00:09:26,049 --> 00:09:27,140
So move. Honk, honk.
217
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,792
Well, you should have thought
about that
218
00:09:28,885 --> 00:09:30,293
before you grabbed them.
219
00:09:30,386 --> 00:09:34,147
Maybe take some personal
responsibility for your actions.
220
00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:35,982
So back it up.
221
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:39,077
-Meep. Meep. Meep.
-Whoa, what's going on here?
222
00:09:39,304 --> 00:09:41,821
They used to be
like two peas in a pod.
223
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,081
Oh, they had a huge blowout.
224
00:09:43,308 --> 00:09:44,583
Where the hell you been,
brother?
225
00:09:44,734 --> 00:09:45,825
I had a kidney stone,
226
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,310
not that anyone asked.
227
00:09:47,329 --> 00:09:49,904
Well, that's my oversight,
and I do apologize.
228
00:09:49,998 --> 00:09:52,090
Shut up, you idiots!
229
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:56,410
Brenda, what the hell?!
230
00:09:56,430 --> 00:10:00,932
It. Is. A. Heat. Wave. Jenny.
231
00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:03,326
We have a million customers
out there.
232
00:10:03,419 --> 00:10:05,845
Shouldn't be that hard
for Lady Two-Arms
233
00:10:05,997 --> 00:10:10,025
and her miraculous sleeves
to handle.
234
00:10:18,176 --> 00:10:20,009
Why did I go all the way
to the end?
235
00:10:20,028 --> 00:10:21,786
I knew where it was going.
Self-burn.
236
00:10:22,013 --> 00:10:23,270
TRAVIS:
Now, remember what I told you
237
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,015
about buying a car.
Don't show emotion.
238
00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:27,608
Never let 'em know
how much you want it.
239
00:10:27,702 --> 00:10:29,336
Oh, my God!
240
00:10:30,780 --> 00:10:32,797
The new Dakota Thunder?!
241
00:10:32,949 --> 00:10:34,524
We want this one.
We'll pay anything!
242
00:10:34,617 --> 00:10:35,950
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
243
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:39,954
Hi, Gina. Uh, I'm not sure
I need this much truck.
244
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,714
(laughs)
That's funny.
245
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,533
You're calling it a truck.
246
00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:44,884
Gentlemen,
247
00:10:45,036 --> 00:10:46,978
welcome to the Dakota Thunder
Lifestyle Platform.
248
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:50,482
Strong enough to tow the
Freedom Tower up Mount Denali.
249
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:51,816
Goose down headrests,
250
00:10:51,968 --> 00:10:54,152
leather from Kobe beef cows,
and, hey,
251
00:10:54,303 --> 00:10:55,803
you guys into tailgating?
252
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,697
-(alarm beeps)
-(NFL theme playing)
253
00:10:58,733 --> 00:11:00,075
-Oh!
-Ah!
254
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,830
-Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay...!
-Homina, homina, homina, homina.
255
00:11:06,057 --> 00:11:07,148
Sounds like a yes!
256
00:11:07,242 --> 00:11:09,225
We'll just do
a quick six hours of paperwork
257
00:11:09,244 --> 00:11:11,895
in a cramped office,
and you'll be on your way.
258
00:11:11,988 --> 00:11:14,063
-(alarm beeps)
-(confetti poppers whistle)
259
00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:16,916
You know, my old truck was
all broken-in.
260
00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:18,159
Like, we got each other.
261
00:11:18,253 --> 00:11:21,404
But this truck, eh,
I don't know.
262
00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:23,181
Kind of feels like maybe she's
a little out of my league.
263
00:11:23,408 --> 00:11:25,742
Wayne,
this is the Dakota Thunder.
264
00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:26,926
Just point her
towards the sunset,
265
00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:28,928
and she'll take care
of the rest.
266
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,522
Okay, just gonna...
267
00:11:30,673 --> 00:11:32,339
ease her off the lot here.
268
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,525
(tires screech)
269
00:11:33,752 --> 00:11:35,101
(blinker clicking)
270
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,678
Okay, looking good over here.
How's it looking over there?
271
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:38,922
You got room for days over here.
272
00:11:39,015 --> 00:11:42,534
I know! Just let me check
one more time.
273
00:11:42,761 --> 00:11:44,035
And then back over here.
274
00:11:44,187 --> 00:11:46,353
All right, now-now, am I getting
too close to that sign?
275
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,115
-You see that sign?
Am I too close to that sign?
-Wayne.
276
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,876
Looking pretty good on my side.
How's your side looking?
277
00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:54,195
Nothing but street.
All you, bro.
278
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,197
WAYNE:
Whoa, whoa! Hold the phone!
279
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,441
Yeah, got a pedestrian
over here.
280
00:11:58,460 --> 00:11:59,867
Man, she came out of nowhere.
281
00:11:59,961 --> 00:12:02,554
I think you got time
on that one, Wayne.
282
00:12:02,781 --> 00:12:05,974
(whooping and shouting)
283
00:12:09,637 --> 00:12:12,713
-Whoa! Look at that truck!
-That is one smooth truck,
homes!
284
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,065
Come on, man!
285
00:12:14,292 --> 00:12:15,308
-Let it rip!
-(honking horn)
286
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,476
Hmm.
287
00:12:16,628 --> 00:12:19,195
(beeping)
288
00:12:21,132 --> 00:12:23,816
WAYNE:
Ugh, gross.
289
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,893
Hang on, y'all.
I'm gonna get her dirty.
290
00:12:25,987 --> 00:12:27,303
I'm gonna get her all messed up.
291
00:12:27,396 --> 00:12:29,748
I saw some better mud
over there.
292
00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:32,208
(back-up indicator beeping)
293
00:12:35,238 --> 00:12:38,256
-(tires screech)
-(beeping)
294
00:12:39,317 --> 00:12:41,484
Whoo-hoo!
We're mudding, y'all!
295
00:12:41,503 --> 00:12:43,486
-(Wayne chuckles)
-Dang, dawg.
296
00:12:43,505 --> 00:12:47,599
He went from Haul Force One
to Haul Force None.
297
00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:48,841
(beeping)
298
00:12:48,994 --> 00:12:50,560
(gasps)
299
00:12:52,847 --> 00:12:54,180
Doo, doo-doo-doo.
300
00:12:54,332 --> 00:12:57,091
Jenny, thank you so much
for inviting me out.
301
00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:01,170
I have been dying to slum it
in this skeezy dive bar.
302
00:13:01,264 --> 00:13:03,114
Louise, this is
a chain restaurant.
303
00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:04,507
There's a kids' play area.
304
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,676
I feel like I'm
in a
Goodfellas
movie.
305
00:13:06,694 --> 00:13:09,103
-Why don't you put another shot
in this one?
-So, Jenny,
306
00:13:09,197 --> 00:13:11,623
since I'm now
in your friend zone,
307
00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:14,033
let's do some girlfriend gossip.
308
00:13:14,185 --> 00:13:15,518
I heard you
and Brenda are having
309
00:13:15,537 --> 00:13:18,371
a little squabbledy-doodly-
doo-doo-doo-doo.
310
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,798
Louise, I don't really want
to talk about Brenda
311
00:13:19,949 --> 00:13:21,190
if that's okay.
312
00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,284
I don't know how you
put up with it, Jenny.
313
00:13:23,378 --> 00:13:26,029
Brenda's just one set
of paperwork away
314
00:13:26,047 --> 00:13:28,139
from the federal government
stepping in
315
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:30,733
and declaring her
a public menace.
316
00:13:30,793 --> 00:13:33,870
Isn't it annoying,
constantly covering her tables
317
00:13:33,963 --> 00:13:37,373
'cause she's over picking out
wedgies by the soda fountain?
318
00:13:37,392 --> 00:13:39,725
She also ruined
a really nice shirt of mine.
319
00:13:39,878 --> 00:13:40,985
Of course she did.
320
00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:42,987
She probably busted out of it
like the Hulk.
321
00:13:43,139 --> 00:13:45,639
She takes naps
in your car, you know.
322
00:13:45,733 --> 00:13:46,899
That beast!
323
00:13:47,052 --> 00:13:49,235
I wondered why it smelled
like cereal farts.
324
00:13:49,387 --> 00:13:52,330
And she owes you
for that shirt, Jenny.
325
00:13:52,557 --> 00:13:53,832
She won't even apologize!
326
00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:56,501
Ugh. She is a wild animal.
327
00:13:56,652 --> 00:13:58,728
A silly ole crazy lady.
328
00:13:58,746 --> 00:14:00,154
Lock her up.
329
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,006
I'm being fun.
330
00:14:02,901 --> 00:14:03,766
LOUISE:
Jenny,
331
00:14:03,826 --> 00:14:05,326
so fun last night,
332
00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:09,088
dishing and gabbing
and having a dang ole kiki.
333
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:10,682
Oh, yeah,
but I shouldn't have said
334
00:14:10,909 --> 00:14:12,091
all that stuff about Brenda.
335
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:15,428
Okay, put a little ole pin
in that, Jenny.
336
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:16,337
Brenda, you're fired.
337
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,355
-Wait. What?
-The hell?
338
00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:18,915
No, no, no, wait.
Hang on, Louise.
339
00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:20,416
You're always late.
340
00:14:20,435 --> 00:14:21,526
You steal food,
341
00:14:21,677 --> 00:14:23,528
and you sleep
in my four-door Lexus sedan
342
00:14:23,679 --> 00:14:26,105
on a bed of cereal gas.
343
00:14:26,257 --> 00:14:28,533
Screw you, Bene-dick Arnold!
344
00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:31,518
-Ugh. Brenda, wait!
-(entry bell chimes)
345
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:35,448
So, Jenny. What's
on tonight's fungenda?
346
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:36,949
(gasps)
347
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,526
Hold that thought, girlfriend.
348
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,130
There's a bunch of glass
in my hair.
349
00:14:47,203 --> 00:14:51,114
Well, news flash:
it's still hot.
350
00:14:51,132 --> 00:14:52,706
They want you to fry this.
351
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,392
Ew, what?
352
00:14:54,619 --> 00:14:56,561
Fry it on the sidewalk.
353
00:14:56,712 --> 00:14:59,063
(grunts)
354
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:05,552
This is Brenda. I'm either
passed out or bonin',
355
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,629
so leave a message.
356
00:15:06,648 --> 00:15:08,297
Hey. Listen, I'm so sorry.
357
00:15:08,391 --> 00:15:10,742
And I never meant
for this to happen.
358
00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:12,160
(fans whirring)
359
00:15:12,971 --> 00:15:14,728
(glass breaks)
360
00:15:14,822 --> 00:15:16,822
♪ ♪
361
00:15:16,975 --> 00:15:19,492
(speaking indistinctly)
362
00:15:19,644 --> 00:15:22,253
♪ ♪
363
00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:26,165
♪ Look around you ♪
364
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,500
Ooh...
365
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,427
I'm gonna order
a giant juicy steak
366
00:15:29,654 --> 00:15:31,930
-with a big ole pad
of butter on top.
-No.
367
00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:34,657
You should have a salad.
It's way healthier, Wayne.
368
00:15:34,676 --> 00:15:37,101
Oh, my parents are expecting us
at the country club tomorrow.
369
00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:39,270
(echoing):
They're announcing
our engagement.
370
00:15:39,422 --> 00:15:41,664
(truck speaking indistinctly)
371
00:15:41,683 --> 00:15:44,684
♪ Look around ♪
372
00:15:44,836 --> 00:15:46,778
Are you even listening to me?
373
00:15:46,929 --> 00:15:48,004
(sighs) I'm sorry.
374
00:15:48,022 --> 00:15:49,930
I tried to make it work, but...
375
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,783
there's another truck
who has my heart.
376
00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:53,176
You bastard!
377
00:15:53,194 --> 00:15:54,677
I can't pretend
I didn't see this coming.
378
00:15:54,696 --> 00:15:57,271
But at least one of us
should be happy.
379
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,957
Go to her. Go to your...
380
00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:01,275
♪ So, lady ♪
381
00:16:01,369 --> 00:16:04,020
♪ Let me take a look
at you now ♪
382
00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:05,296
Oh, this baby's mine.
383
00:16:05,448 --> 00:16:06,798
And you'll never get her back.
384
00:16:06,949 --> 00:16:08,207
Not when the floor is lava.
385
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,876
♪ You're there
on the dance floor ♪
386
00:16:11,029 --> 00:16:15,698
♪ Making me want you somehow. ♪
387
00:16:15,717 --> 00:16:18,625
No! No!
388
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:19,793
(gasps) Lady!
389
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:22,038
Fingers! God,
it's broiling in here.
390
00:16:22,056 --> 00:16:23,706
I was dreaming about my truck.
391
00:16:23,725 --> 00:16:25,149
Yeah, you love that truck.
392
00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:26,967
You should never have gotten rid
of that truck.
393
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,378
Yeah, well, you never should
have gotten rid of Brenda.
394
00:16:29,397 --> 00:16:31,714
Man, I can't believe
y'all aren't talking.
395
00:16:31,733 --> 00:16:32,898
I tried.
396
00:16:33,051 --> 00:16:34,808
Well, maybe you didn't try
hard enough.
397
00:16:34,902 --> 00:16:36,886
'Cause I'm gonna get
my truck back.
398
00:16:36,904 --> 00:16:38,496
Wait, what was
your dream about?
399
00:16:38,723 --> 00:16:40,957
Fancy cookies.
400
00:16:42,076 --> 00:16:44,836
Violet, I got to get
my old truck back.
401
00:16:45,063 --> 00:16:46,395
I miss her something terrible.
402
00:16:46,414 --> 00:16:48,731
I hate to say I told you so,
403
00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:50,508
so I'll do it telepathically.
404
00:16:50,735 --> 00:16:53,011
(buzzing)
405
00:16:53,162 --> 00:16:55,129
I'm searching your mind
for who told you so.
406
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,663
(gasps)
I found it. It's me.
407
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,758
Just help me figure out
how to get my truck back.
408
00:16:58,910 --> 00:17:00,092
Well, it won't be easy.
409
00:17:00,245 --> 00:17:02,186
No one's ever said no
to that kid.
410
00:17:02,413 --> 00:17:04,671
The only reason
he even wanted my truck is
411
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,767
'cause he saw it
in that stupid, awesome movie.
412
00:17:07,919 --> 00:17:09,027
Ap-ap-ap-ap-ap-ap-ap!
413
00:17:09,178 --> 00:17:11,553
I'm generating an idea.
I need absolute silence.
414
00:17:11,606 --> 00:17:12,679
Yes, I got it.
415
00:17:12,774 --> 00:17:14,681
All he wants is to have
the hottest thing
416
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,183
before anyone else does.
417
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,261
And I think
we can serve it up to him.
418
00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:20,997
Also, I told you so.
419
00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:32,608
"Love, Jenny."
420
00:17:32,701 --> 00:17:34,277
(sighs) Dang.
421
00:17:34,295 --> 00:17:37,013
She really does take
good care of me.
422
00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:41,184
Oh, yeah!
423
00:17:42,878 --> 00:17:44,303
(sighs)
424
00:17:45,623 --> 00:17:47,732
Got the Christopher Nolan
Batmobile over there.
425
00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:50,459
The mail truck from
You've Got Mail,
of course.
426
00:17:50,553 --> 00:17:53,387
-And over there is...
-Hold on. What's that?
427
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:58,634
Is that the Jag hearse
from
Harold and Maude?
428
00:17:58,653 --> 00:18:00,636
Oh, yeah. I'm surprised
you recognized it.
429
00:18:00,696 --> 00:18:02,413
Harold and Maude is
my favorite movie.
430
00:18:02,565 --> 00:18:05,308
-Harold and Maude is
my favorite movie.
-Why?
431
00:18:05,401 --> 00:18:08,086
Because it's about a rich kid
who gets everything he wants?
432
00:18:08,313 --> 00:18:11,314
No. It's because Harold rails
against societal norms
433
00:18:11,332 --> 00:18:13,983
and lives to torture
his insane mom.
434
00:18:14,001 --> 00:18:16,928
Okay, great.
You're a genius, I guess.
435
00:18:17,079 --> 00:18:18,671
Now, let's get down to business.
436
00:18:18,823 --> 00:18:20,339
Yes, let's. I'm very curious
437
00:18:20,491 --> 00:18:22,007
as to what kind of "opportunity"
438
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,936
that you,
a poor, have for me.
439
00:18:25,163 --> 00:18:26,753
Oh, just a little private
meet and greet
440
00:18:26,848 --> 00:18:28,589
-with the star of the upcoming
Haul Force sequel.
-(gasps)
441
00:18:28,683 --> 00:18:31,943
Haul Force Two: Space Haul.
442
00:18:32,094 --> 00:18:34,337
Homina, homina, homina.
(stammers) How, how, how?
443
00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:35,671
How is this possible?
444
00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:37,532
Have you seen the movie?
What's the catchphrase?
445
00:18:38,601 --> 00:18:42,011
Uh... Houston, we...
446
00:18:42,029 --> 00:18:45,514
Do not have a problem,
because...
447
00:18:45,608 --> 00:18:47,183
We have a truck?
448
00:18:47,201 --> 00:18:48,108
In space.
449
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:50,294
"Houston,
we don't have a problem
450
00:18:50,521 --> 00:18:53,280
because we have
a truck in space"?
451
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,300
Oh, I friggin' love that!
452
00:18:56,452 --> 00:18:59,528
This franchise is so dumb
that it might actually be
453
00:18:59,547 --> 00:19:01,955
a brilliant surrealist
masterpiece.
454
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,175
That's exactly what you said
about it, Violet.
455
00:19:04,327 --> 00:19:06,126
Shut up. No, I didn't.
This is boring.
456
00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:08,795
Okay, I need this truck.
Name your price.
457
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:11,131
Ten million dollars.
458
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,133
Or how about just an even trade?
459
00:19:13,227 --> 00:19:15,394
Haul Force One
for Haul Force Two.
460
00:19:15,546 --> 00:19:17,546
Wait. I think we can do better
than that.
461
00:19:17,565 --> 00:19:19,306
How about Wayne's truck
462
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,242
plus $651?
463
00:19:21,977 --> 00:19:24,978
Best $651 ever spent.
464
00:19:25,072 --> 00:19:27,239
This AC feels good.
465
00:19:27,392 --> 00:19:29,650
Oh, sweet,
sweet air conditioning.
466
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,002
This feels so good,
467
00:19:31,153 --> 00:19:32,503
I don't even care
what Gram's doing right now.
468
00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:34,655
I'm freezing my bra.
469
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,916
My underboobs are overheating.
470
00:19:37,068 --> 00:19:39,427
Let's get some mud
on this thing.
471
00:19:40,588 --> 00:19:41,904
What do you say, baby?
472
00:19:41,923 --> 00:19:43,431
(engine revs)
473
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,226
(cheering, whooping)
474
00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:54,066
♪ ♪
475
00:20:03,185 --> 00:20:06,871
Jenny, I was sitting there,
thinking I don't need you.
476
00:20:07,022 --> 00:20:09,856
Then I realized you remind me
to wear pants
477
00:20:09,951 --> 00:20:11,191
and eat green things
478
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,786
and stop sending nudes
all willy-nilly.
479
00:20:13,938 --> 00:20:15,880
You totally keep me alive.
480
00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:17,882
Well, I love you being alive.
481
00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:19,533
I got something for you.
482
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,701
(gasps)
483
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,868
I fixed it.
484
00:20:21,963 --> 00:20:24,222
-Aw...
-Look on the back.
485
00:20:25,116 --> 00:20:26,632
It's completely unwearable.
486
00:20:26,784 --> 00:20:27,725
It's perfect.
487
00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:29,134
(grunts) Come on.
488
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,636
We're gonna get
your job back.
489
00:20:30,788 --> 00:20:32,638
(entry bell chimes)
490
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:33,806
Brenda, you're rehired.
491
00:20:33,958 --> 00:20:35,791
-What?
-What made you change your mind?
492
00:20:35,884 --> 00:20:37,401
They did.
493
00:20:37,553 --> 00:20:39,128
(hissing)
494
00:20:39,146 --> 00:20:40,905
Brenda's the only one here
495
00:20:41,132 --> 00:20:42,907
who can deal
with the possum problem.
496
00:20:43,134 --> 00:20:45,243
Oh, hell yeah. I got this.
497
00:20:45,470 --> 00:20:47,653
Why does she always have
to take her top off?
498
00:20:47,805 --> 00:20:49,488
She has to become one of them.
499
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,156
Possum party!
500
00:20:51,309 --> 00:20:53,251
-(hissing)
-(clattering)
-Yeah! (groans)
501
00:20:57,315 --> 00:21:00,258
♪ Well, if you want to sing out,
sing out ♪
502
00:21:00,409 --> 00:21:03,076
♪ And if you want to be free,
be free
♪
503
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:06,839
♪ 'Cause there's
a million things to be ♪
504
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:09,850
♪ You know that there are ♪
505
00:21:11,253 --> 00:21:13,920
♪ And if you want to live high,
live high... ♪
506
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,756
You look good in the...
507
00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:17,257
Uh-uh.
508
00:21:17,351 --> 00:21:18,759
If you want to come in,
we could watch the...
509
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,779
Shut up. You're not cool enough
to talk to me yet.
510
00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:24,323
♪ You know that there are ♪
511
00:21:26,844 --> 00:21:29,044
♪ You can do what you want. ♪
512
00:21:29,046 --> 00:21:30,696
-(meows)
-(horn honks musically)
513
00:21:30,848 --> 00:21:32,848
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
514
00:21:32,908 --> 00:21:34,375
and TOYOTA.