1
00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:04,774
♪ ♪
2
00:00:07,512 --> 00:00:09,863
Ooh-hoo!
Eat kilowatts, you dumb bug.
3
00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:11,773
Yes. Take that, you bloodsucker.
4
00:00:11,925 --> 00:00:14,183
-Here you go, milady.
-Aww.
5
00:00:14,202 --> 00:00:15,443
Thank you, Wayne.
6
00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:18,096
Don't you guys have
an anniversary coming up?
7
00:00:18,114 --> 00:00:19,614
Yep. Ten years.
8
00:00:19,766 --> 00:00:21,816
Lord, has it been ten years?
9
00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:24,860
Well, that makes sense 'cause
y'all do look a lot older.
10
00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:26,713
Good news is,
I haven't changed a bit.
11
00:00:26,864 --> 00:00:28,823
That's a whole decade. Wow.
12
00:00:28,884 --> 00:00:30,291
What are you guys
gonna do to celebrate?
13
00:00:30,385 --> 00:00:32,052
Well, you know,
we're both working so much...
14
00:00:32,279 --> 00:00:34,888
Yeah, probably just go
to the Great Sydney Steakhouse.
15
00:00:35,115 --> 00:00:37,223
Come home. Ooh.
Watch a crime show, maybe?
16
00:00:37,450 --> 00:00:38,558
WAYNE:
That sounds fun.
17
00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:40,118
Be in bed by 9:00. Wow.
18
00:00:40,211 --> 00:00:42,562
We really used to do it up
on our anniversary, huh?
19
00:00:42,789 --> 00:00:45,973
Now we're just watching bugs
kamikaze to their deaths.
20
00:00:46,126 --> 00:00:47,308
So, you slowed down.
21
00:00:47,402 --> 00:00:48,810
It's a natural part
of the human condition.
22
00:00:48,904 --> 00:00:50,795
Just sliding slowly
into oblivion,
23
00:00:50,888 --> 00:00:53,740
counting the days until
you buy a walk-in bathtub,
24
00:00:53,891 --> 00:00:56,150
all the while wondering
where the fun went.
25
00:00:56,303 --> 00:00:57,410
These bugs have it figured out.
26
00:00:57,562 --> 00:00:59,395
They live a week
and die in their prime.
27
00:00:59,489 --> 00:01:02,165
You made the right choice, bug.
28
00:01:03,977 --> 00:01:06,086
♪ ♪
29
00:01:36,676 --> 00:01:39,285
Dang, a top-of-the-line
Wet Heaven Pro-Snorkel
30
00:01:39,437 --> 00:01:41,195
Water-Based Relaxation System.
31
00:01:41,289 --> 00:01:43,531
(chuckles) I got to say,
I'm a little jealous.
32
00:01:43,683 --> 00:01:45,700
Hey, how close are you boys
to being done?
33
00:01:45,852 --> 00:01:49,671
Daddy needs his soak,
or Daddy gets cranky.
34
00:01:50,615 --> 00:01:51,614
N-No, I'm sorry.
35
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,967
I-I was talking
about my actual dad.
36
00:01:54,118 --> 00:01:55,877
He's very unpleasant.
37
00:01:56,029 --> 00:01:59,530
Well, we're almost done here.
This thing's a real beauty.
38
00:01:59,624 --> 00:02:00,956
Something wrong with this one?
39
00:02:00,976 --> 00:02:03,125
Ah, no. She still purrs
like a kitten.
40
00:02:03,145 --> 00:02:05,052
But when you're living
the Jacuzzi lifestyle,
41
00:02:05,205 --> 00:02:08,055
you got to stay current,
got to keep the party fresh.
42
00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:09,965
Yeah, I could use
a little party in my life.
43
00:02:09,985 --> 00:02:11,818
We'll probably never have
a Jacuzzi, though.
44
00:02:11,969 --> 00:02:15,046
(chuckles) I see the way
you're looking at my old girl.
45
00:02:15,064 --> 00:02:17,991
How about you take her
off my hands? No charge.
46
00:02:18,218 --> 00:02:21,386
Are you kidding me?
I can't even begin to thank you.
47
00:02:21,404 --> 00:02:23,388
This can be Jenny's
anniversary gift.
48
00:02:23,481 --> 00:02:25,314
We've been told
we're sliding into oblivion.
49
00:02:25,408 --> 00:02:26,815
Yeah, I was like you once.
50
00:02:26,835 --> 00:02:30,152
Feeling boxed in by the stifling
cubicle some call life.
51
00:02:30,172 --> 00:02:32,821
Wondering if there could
be a better way, a chiller way.
52
00:02:32,916 --> 00:02:35,233
Getting this 'cuzz
changed everything.
53
00:02:35,326 --> 00:02:37,326
Let me ask you something, Wayne.
54
00:02:37,420 --> 00:02:40,405
-How old do you think I am?
-I don't know, 50?
55
00:02:40,498 --> 00:02:42,665
Wayne, I have no idea
how old I am.
56
00:02:42,759 --> 00:02:43,999
First I lost my watch,
57
00:02:44,093 --> 00:02:45,018
then I lost my calendar.
58
00:02:45,245 --> 00:02:46,352
I'm on island time now.
59
00:02:46,504 --> 00:02:49,414
For all I know,
I'm 15,000 years old.
60
00:02:49,432 --> 00:02:50,172
Whoa.
61
00:02:50,192 --> 00:02:51,357
But I got to warn you--
62
00:02:51,509 --> 00:02:53,584
the 'cuzz life
is not for everyone.
63
00:02:53,603 --> 00:02:55,920
Once your twig and berries
hit that 104-degree water,
64
00:02:56,013 --> 00:02:59,365
well, you're committing
to a vacation that never stops.
65
00:02:59,517 --> 00:03:01,592
Is that a threat?
'Cause that sounds like
66
00:03:01,611 --> 00:03:03,185
the greatest threat
in the world.
67
00:03:03,205 --> 00:03:05,096
Daddy needs his soak!
68
00:03:05,114 --> 00:03:06,414
Oh, Daddy...
69
00:03:07,283 --> 00:03:09,024
Surprise anniversary present?
70
00:03:09,044 --> 00:03:10,859
WAYNE:
Ta-da!
71
00:03:10,954 --> 00:03:12,879
Wayne, oh, my Lord.
72
00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:13,880
A hot tub?!
73
00:03:14,031 --> 00:03:15,531
How's that for fun
and spontaneous?
74
00:03:15,550 --> 00:03:18,367
Or should I say
"spont-Wayne-eous"?
75
00:03:18,386 --> 00:03:20,294
(chuckles)
I just thought of that.
76
00:03:20,388 --> 00:03:21,537
Did ya?
77
00:03:21,631 --> 00:03:23,114
Well, I-I thought of it
very recently.
78
00:03:23,207 --> 00:03:25,299
It wasn't just... right now.
79
00:03:25,452 --> 00:03:27,118
(yelps)
I love this hot tub!
80
00:03:27,136 --> 00:03:28,061
And I love you.
81
00:03:28,955 --> 00:03:33,307
Ooh, look at that Martina
McBride boho peasant blouse.
82
00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:34,734
40% off.
83
00:03:34,885 --> 00:03:37,645
I'm about to put you 100% on.
84
00:03:38,465 --> 00:03:40,240
Oh, hell no.
If it's on the flier,
85
00:03:40,391 --> 00:03:42,075
it better be on the floor.
86
00:03:42,302 --> 00:03:45,036
I need to speak
with the manager. Julian!
87
00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:46,729
(groans)
88
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,322
God, I'd rather drown myself
in a toilet.
89
00:03:48,416 --> 00:03:50,475
Good morning, Betty!
How can I help you?
90
00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:52,234
I was told
there would be ample stock
91
00:03:52,328 --> 00:03:53,828
of the Martina McBride
peasant blouse,
92
00:03:53,980 --> 00:03:56,314
and yet there are none
to be found.
93
00:03:56,332 --> 00:03:58,332
That's a bait and switch,
which is a felony.
94
00:03:58,426 --> 00:04:00,426
Ms. Hart, I am not a sorcerer.
95
00:04:00,653 --> 00:04:03,154
I cannot simply make
Martina McBride blouses
96
00:04:03,247 --> 00:04:05,172
appear out of thin air.
97
00:04:05,325 --> 00:04:06,507
You should've gotten here
earlier.
98
00:04:06,601 --> 00:04:08,009
Oh, BS, Julian.
99
00:04:08,252 --> 00:04:11,012
I know there's a secret stash
of the good stuff in the back.
100
00:04:11,164 --> 00:04:13,164
-Ma'am, we do not...
-Don't you "ma'am" me, Julian.
101
00:04:13,182 --> 00:04:16,000
-Well, I will ma'am you, ma'am.
-I know you know my name.
You just said it.
102
00:04:16,019 --> 00:04:17,944
-Yes, I do know your name,
ma'am. Ma'am.
-I eagerly await the day
103
00:04:18,113 --> 00:04:20,280
-you get replaced
by a self-scanner machine.
-That won't happen, ma'am.
104
00:04:20,507 --> 00:04:23,116
Ms. Hart! I will not have you
coming in here
105
00:04:23,343 --> 00:04:25,100
and insulting me
on a weekly basis anymore.
106
00:04:25,194 --> 00:04:28,771
I am hereby permanently
banning you from Krull's.
107
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:29,956
(all gasping)
108
00:04:30,107 --> 00:04:31,940
No!
(grunts)
109
00:04:32,035 --> 00:04:34,035
Lady, do not rag-doll us.
110
00:04:34,187 --> 00:04:35,520
(grunting)
111
00:04:35,538 --> 00:04:37,714
Do not Jean-Claude Van Damme us,
either.
112
00:04:39,134 --> 00:04:40,466
-Oof.
-(tires screech)
113
00:04:40,618 --> 00:04:43,511
♪ ♪
114
00:04:47,976 --> 00:04:49,534
Mmm.
115
00:04:49,552 --> 00:04:52,053
These jets really know
a waitress' bod.
116
00:04:52,205 --> 00:04:53,771
I am in heaven.
117
00:04:54,707 --> 00:04:56,891
Hot tub party!
118
00:04:56,985 --> 00:04:59,152
Doug! Peter!
I hope you don't mind.
119
00:04:59,303 --> 00:05:00,711
They helped me put it in,
so I told 'em
120
00:05:00,730 --> 00:05:01,879
they can stop by anytime.
121
00:05:01,972 --> 00:05:04,139
We brought
some gettin' loose juice!
122
00:05:04,159 --> 00:05:06,734
And a hat
for the 'cuzz ship captain.
123
00:05:06,886 --> 00:05:08,069
This is so cool.
124
00:05:08,221 --> 00:05:09,329
I'm a hot tub captain.
125
00:05:09,556 --> 00:05:12,056
I can legally marry anyone
in this tub.
126
00:05:12,075 --> 00:05:13,166
Marry me and Doug.
127
00:05:13,393 --> 00:05:15,484
'Cause I want his lizards
when he dies.
128
00:05:15,503 --> 00:05:16,727
JENNY:
Hold on.
129
00:05:16,821 --> 00:05:18,546
Wayne.
130
00:05:19,549 --> 00:05:20,489
Jenny...
131
00:05:20,508 --> 00:05:22,592
♪ ♪
132
00:05:25,347 --> 00:05:27,329
I love it.
I love everything about it!
133
00:05:27,349 --> 00:05:29,015
I love the jets.
I love the moist heat.
134
00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:30,165
I love the party atmosphere.
135
00:05:30,185 --> 00:05:31,184
I love your tiny shorts.
136
00:05:31,411 --> 00:05:33,168
I love how open my sinuses are.
137
00:05:33,188 --> 00:05:35,746
And I especially love
that sexy-ass captain's hat.
138
00:05:35,765 --> 00:05:38,006
(chuckles) There isn't a woman
alive who can resist a man
139
00:05:38,026 --> 00:05:39,100
in a captain's hat.
140
00:05:39,252 --> 00:05:40,267
You idiots rock!
141
00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:42,010
Take that, our former selves.
142
00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:43,588
We're never getting old!
143
00:05:43,606 --> 00:05:44,847
(coughing)
144
00:05:44,941 --> 00:05:46,440
Of all the days to get banned,
145
00:05:46,534 --> 00:05:49,276
why did it have to be right
before the Founders Day sale?
146
00:05:49,429 --> 00:05:51,537
There's just no way
to sneak in there undetected.
147
00:05:51,689 --> 00:05:53,264
Y'all, I might have
to make a scene
148
00:05:53,357 --> 00:05:55,266
-in my own home.
-(scraping)
149
00:05:55,284 --> 00:05:58,102
Shh. All we need to do
is disguise you.
150
00:05:58,121 --> 00:06:01,047
No. You can't hide this light
under a bushel.
151
00:06:01,274 --> 00:06:02,715
This is a powerful light.
152
00:06:02,867 --> 00:06:04,199
You're in good hands, Gram.
153
00:06:04,293 --> 00:06:05,885
David has a thing for costumes.
154
00:06:06,112 --> 00:06:08,112
Let's just say my closet
makes RuPaul's closet
155
00:06:08,205 --> 00:06:09,872
look like Tim Allen's closet.
156
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,140
Let's get to work.
157
00:06:12,452 --> 00:06:14,468
(whooping)
158
00:06:14,621 --> 00:06:15,803
Chicken fight!
159
00:06:15,955 --> 00:06:17,563
(cheering)
160
00:06:18,566 --> 00:06:20,441
-Yeah!
-(chattering)
161
00:06:22,979 --> 00:06:23,736
Whirlpool!
162
00:06:23,888 --> 00:06:24,979
-Whirlpool!
-(gasping)
163
00:06:25,073 --> 00:06:26,739
(gurgling)
164
00:06:26,891 --> 00:06:27,798
I am Jenny Hart,
165
00:06:27,817 --> 00:06:30,410
and this is hot tub waterski!
166
00:06:31,137 --> 00:06:32,745
(gasping)
167
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:36,082
-(whoops) We're back, baby.
-(cheering)
168
00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:38,643
WAYNE:
Yes, we are, baby!
169
00:06:38,661 --> 00:06:42,422
We need to build a new character
from the ground up.
170
00:06:42,573 --> 00:06:45,383
♪ ♪
171
00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:52,932
She's perfect.
172
00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:54,750
Mm, not yet, she's not.
173
00:06:54,769 --> 00:06:56,994
The transformation
can't just be on the outside.
174
00:06:57,087 --> 00:06:59,513
You need to become
this new character.
175
00:06:59,607 --> 00:07:00,923
Ooh, let's role-play.
176
00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,275
You're in Krull's
177
00:07:02,502 --> 00:07:04,335
and the salesman says,
"Excuse me, ma'am.
178
00:07:04,353 --> 00:07:05,945
I'm afraid
your coupon is expired."
179
00:07:06,096 --> 00:07:08,689
I'd say, "Your life
is about to be expired."
180
00:07:08,841 --> 00:07:11,784
Then, after high-fiving myself,
I find a beer bottle,
181
00:07:12,011 --> 00:07:13,936
-break it on the counter...
-Uh, Gram?
182
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:14,937
(sighs)
183
00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:16,271
"Oh, heavens.
184
00:07:16,291 --> 00:07:17,865
"I couldn't read the date.
185
00:07:18,017 --> 00:07:20,017
My eyes just aren't what
they used to be."
186
00:07:20,536 --> 00:07:23,037
Then, once I got
his defenses down,
187
00:07:23,131 --> 00:07:25,280
I give him the old
eyes, throat, crotch.
188
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:26,782
Then I look for a beer bottle,
189
00:07:26,876 --> 00:07:28,209
-break it over...
-Gram.
190
00:07:28,361 --> 00:07:31,137
So I just say a bunch
of nice bullcrap, and that's it?
191
00:07:31,364 --> 00:07:33,431
Do you want to get back
into Krull's or not?
192
00:07:35,143 --> 00:07:35,975
Let's try it again.
193
00:07:36,126 --> 00:07:38,811
Your coupon is denied.
194
00:07:38,921 --> 00:07:39,920
(inhales)
195
00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:41,481
(exhales)
196
00:07:41,632 --> 00:07:44,633
Well, that's quite all right,
you sweet young man.
197
00:07:44,652 --> 00:07:48,488
I'm happy to pay full price
if those are the rules.
198
00:07:48,639 --> 00:07:50,548
Betty Jean Hart,
199
00:07:50,566 --> 00:07:52,566
that was perfect.
200
00:07:52,719 --> 00:07:54,902
Betty Hart, who's that?
201
00:07:55,054 --> 00:07:55,995
My name...
202
00:07:56,222 --> 00:07:58,331
is Rhonda Witherspoon.
203
00:07:58,558 --> 00:07:59,165
She's ready.
204
00:07:59,392 --> 00:08:00,816
She's more than ready.
205
00:08:00,835 --> 00:08:02,484
She's Rhonda.
206
00:08:02,504 --> 00:08:05,379
-(indistinct chatter)
-(upbeat Latin music playing)
207
00:08:07,825 --> 00:08:09,550
(barking)
208
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:16,349
Jenny, doesn't it feel good
to let loose again?
209
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:17,591
Oh, my God, yes.
210
00:08:17,744 --> 00:08:18,926
Now, what do you say
211
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,670
we take this party back
to my room, Captain?
212
00:08:21,764 --> 00:08:22,855
-Oh, yeah.
-(slurps)
213
00:08:23,082 --> 00:08:25,933
Uh, requesting permission
to sexually dock.
214
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:27,434
Permission granted.
215
00:08:27,529 --> 00:08:30,679
I'm gonna escort the captain
back to his quarters and...
216
00:08:30,698 --> 00:08:32,606
see if I can raise his anchor.
217
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,200
Oh, no, wait,
that doesn't sound right.
218
00:08:34,351 --> 00:08:37,870
I'm gonna put my hands around
that big steering wheel and--
219
00:08:38,097 --> 00:08:41,432
No, wait.
I want to swab your poop deck.
220
00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:43,434
Nope. I am not good at these.
(laughs)
221
00:08:43,452 --> 00:08:45,711
I just want you
to come to bed with me.
222
00:08:45,863 --> 00:08:47,880
-I'm drunk, y'all!
-(whooping)
223
00:08:48,032 --> 00:08:49,507
(cheering)
224
00:08:54,113 --> 00:08:56,347
(indistinct chatter)
225
00:09:01,971 --> 00:09:04,146
(snoring)
226
00:09:07,794 --> 00:09:10,644
...so the guy at the Hot Tub
Supply Store says,
227
00:09:10,738 --> 00:09:12,463
"Here's your chlorine."
228
00:09:12,556 --> 00:09:14,965
And I say,
"Have you met my friends?
229
00:09:15,059 --> 00:09:15,983
You better double it."
230
00:09:16,135 --> 00:09:16,984
(laughter)
231
00:09:17,136 --> 00:09:19,245
(air horn sound effects)
232
00:09:19,396 --> 00:09:22,156
-(dance music playing)
-(cheering)
233
00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:23,991
Wayne, the party's still going?
234
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,233
What happened last night?
235
00:09:25,253 --> 00:09:27,069
I did all those sexy
boat euphemisms,
236
00:09:27,163 --> 00:09:28,588
and then you never came to bed.
237
00:09:28,739 --> 00:09:29,997
Well, let me think.
238
00:09:30,149 --> 00:09:31,406
I had the captain's hat,
239
00:09:31,426 --> 00:09:33,092
and then Meemaw lost
her belly button ring,
240
00:09:33,243 --> 00:09:35,428
so we had to turn off the jets
to find that.
241
00:09:35,579 --> 00:09:37,838
And then there was
a conga line...
242
00:09:37,990 --> 00:09:39,840
and then I couldn't find
my captain's hat
243
00:09:39,934 --> 00:09:42,751
and then I looked over and
Doug had on my captain's hat...
244
00:09:42,770 --> 00:09:44,345
Wayne, forget the captain's hat.
245
00:09:44,497 --> 00:09:46,513
We can't handle a hot tub.
246
00:09:46,666 --> 00:09:48,090
Oh, we can handle it.
247
00:09:48,184 --> 00:09:49,591
It's giving us our spark back.
248
00:09:49,611 --> 00:09:51,277
(scoffs) But there's no time
for our spark
249
00:09:51,428 --> 00:09:52,837
with all these people around.
250
00:09:52,855 --> 00:09:55,022
We got people here I don't
even know walking around.
251
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,949
Like, who is that lady?
252
00:09:57,101 --> 00:09:57,933
WAYNE:
No idea.
253
00:09:58,027 --> 00:09:59,360
Ugh, I know it's our anniversary
254
00:09:59,454 --> 00:10:01,120
and I can't believe
I'm saying this, but...
255
00:10:01,347 --> 00:10:03,289
I just want a boring dinner
with you all to myself.
256
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,199
Can we do that?
You and me?
257
00:10:05,351 --> 00:10:06,459
Huge steak,
way too much bread.
258
00:10:06,686 --> 00:10:09,203
I'll even make the reservation.
How's 7:30?
259
00:10:09,355 --> 00:10:10,204
Aye aye, Captain.
260
00:10:10,298 --> 00:10:12,356
Okay, well, I got to go to work.
261
00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:14,358
Just try to hydrate today, okay?
262
00:10:14,377 --> 00:10:15,617
Wait, who are all these people?
263
00:10:15,637 --> 00:10:18,379
Oh, yeah, I met these guys
at the quarry.
264
00:10:18,531 --> 00:10:21,699
Hey, Captain, you got any
old bread bags laying around?
265
00:10:21,717 --> 00:10:24,143
We can't get
our ankle monitors wet.
266
00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:27,438
Yeah, I see what you mean.
267
00:10:28,541 --> 00:10:30,057
Look out, Krull's.
268
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:33,152
Here comes Rhonda Witherspoon.
269
00:10:33,971 --> 00:10:35,303
David, no.
270
00:10:35,323 --> 00:10:38,115
This little bird needs to fly
on her own.
271
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:43,829
CHERISH:
Don't try to weasel out
of this, Julian.
272
00:10:43,981 --> 00:10:45,572
A flier is a contract.
273
00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:48,668
Ma'am, only children's clothes
are half off today.
274
00:10:48,819 --> 00:10:51,929
Now, I don't have my glasses on,
but as far as I can tell,
275
00:10:51,931 --> 00:10:53,580
those are clearly
full-grown men.
276
00:10:53,733 --> 00:10:55,323
Who are my children.
277
00:10:55,418 --> 00:10:58,010
So by definition,
their clothes should be on sale!
278
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,328
(grunting)
279
00:11:00,348 --> 00:11:03,015
My stars!
Now, we all know that "children"
280
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:07,836
is referring to an age and not
a relationship to the mother.
281
00:11:07,855 --> 00:11:11,598
Honey, do not transfer the pain
that is going on in your life
282
00:11:11,693 --> 00:11:16,178
to this angel of a man,
who is clearly doing his best.
283
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,939
-Ugh.
-(grunting)
284
00:11:19,759 --> 00:11:23,594
Well, aren't you
an absolute breath of fresh air?
285
00:11:23,612 --> 00:11:27,039
I'm Julian.
You look very familiar.
286
00:11:27,191 --> 00:11:29,524
Have we crossed paths before?
287
00:11:30,603 --> 00:11:34,213
Well, I don't see how.
The name's Rhonda Witherspoon.
288
00:11:34,364 --> 00:11:36,865
Just moved here
from Nashville, Music City.
289
00:11:36,884 --> 00:11:40,277
Well, welcome to Greenpoint.
What can I help you with today?
290
00:11:40,370 --> 00:11:43,781
I'm attending
a Save the Earth fundraiser,
291
00:11:43,799 --> 00:11:45,299
and I was hoping to wear...
292
00:11:45,451 --> 00:11:48,543
The... Martina McBride
boho peasant blouse?
293
00:11:48,563 --> 00:11:52,214
-How did you know?
-It's my job to know.
294
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:54,291
I have one in the back.
Follow me.
295
00:11:54,384 --> 00:11:56,977
Oh, bless your sweet heart!
296
00:11:57,129 --> 00:11:58,571
(quietly):
Freakin' knew it.
297
00:12:01,968 --> 00:12:04,744
Looks like a dingo ate
your boyfriend.
298
00:12:04,971 --> 00:12:07,154
-What?
-It's just a joke I do
299
00:12:07,306 --> 00:12:08,806
when people are being stood up.
300
00:12:08,824 --> 00:12:11,158
-Lightens the mood.
-I'm not being stood up.
301
00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:13,644
Can I get you
a Blossoming Onion?
302
00:12:13,737 --> 00:12:14,736
Single portion, hon?
303
00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:17,256
No, I will take
two Blossoming Onions,
304
00:12:17,483 --> 00:12:19,483
because my boyfriend
definitely will be here.
305
00:12:19,502 --> 00:12:22,486
Fair dinkam, y'all.
I mean "mite."
306
00:12:22,505 --> 00:12:25,598
Please don't tell my manager
I broke character.
307
00:12:25,825 --> 00:12:27,433
(sighs)
308
00:12:29,328 --> 00:12:31,979
♪ ♪
309
00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:41,489
(echoing):
First I lost my watch.
Then I lost my calendar.
310
00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:48,496
I'm on island time now.
311
00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:53,042
♪ ♪
312
00:13:01,118 --> 00:13:02,635
(gasps)
313
00:13:19,728 --> 00:13:23,638
Well, it really has been such
a pleasure meeting you, Rhonda.
314
00:13:23,658 --> 00:13:26,867
Oh, the pleasure was all mine!
315
00:13:28,387 --> 00:13:31,813
Rhonda, would you like to come
to my house for dinner?
316
00:13:31,907 --> 00:13:34,667
Oh, Julian!
317
00:13:38,822 --> 00:13:41,757
♪ ♪
318
00:13:44,086 --> 00:13:46,828
(laughter)
319
00:13:46,922 --> 00:13:49,139
♪ ♪
320
00:13:50,059 --> 00:13:52,334
Well, I guess I should be going.
321
00:13:52,428 --> 00:13:54,669
It's getting so late.
Isn't it, you little angel?
322
00:13:54,689 --> 00:13:58,340
She is just a little angel,
yes, she is!
323
00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:00,751
Okay, let's get you to bed.
324
00:14:00,844 --> 00:14:02,695
So nice to meet you, Rhonda.
325
00:14:02,846 --> 00:14:04,697
The pleasure was all mine.
326
00:14:04,848 --> 00:14:07,032
Okay, well, I guess I'm off.
327
00:14:07,259 --> 00:14:08,275
Rhonda, Rhonda, listen.
328
00:14:08,427 --> 00:14:10,369
Can I tell you something?
329
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,263
Ever since I met you,
you've shown me
330
00:14:13,282 --> 00:14:15,933
that it is not a weakness
to be kind.
331
00:14:16,026 --> 00:14:19,770
-Oh. No, Julian, don't...
-No, no, no. Let me finish.
332
00:14:19,788 --> 00:14:21,788
Would you like to come with me
333
00:14:21,941 --> 00:14:25,459
to the special Krull's friends
and family event tomorrow?
334
00:14:25,553 --> 00:14:28,779
It's a secret sale.
Not open to the public.
335
00:14:28,872 --> 00:14:31,539
Usually everybody takes
their mom or aunt or something,
336
00:14:31,559 --> 00:14:34,894
but I've never had anyone
I felt I could bring before.
337
00:14:35,121 --> 00:14:36,303
Until now.
338
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,122
I don't know what to say,
Julian.
339
00:14:38,215 --> 00:14:39,973
Well, just say yes.
340
00:14:40,126 --> 00:14:41,692
BETTY:
Yes!
341
00:14:46,908 --> 00:14:49,391
-WAITRESS: Hey! Wayne's here!
-He made it!
342
00:14:49,485 --> 00:14:52,411
A red Wayne
and a white Wayne spritzah!
343
00:14:53,489 --> 00:14:56,665
You know what?
Your accent is stupid!
344
00:15:00,755 --> 00:15:03,163
♪ Well, I'm a hot tub daddy ♪
345
00:15:03,315 --> 00:15:05,332
♪ Have you heard the news? ♪
346
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:07,668
♪ Captain of the bubbles ♪
347
00:15:07,762 --> 00:15:09,929
♪ The king of the 'cuzz ♪
348
00:15:10,747 --> 00:15:12,322
Thanks, number hula girls!
349
00:15:12,416 --> 00:15:13,432
Take it away, snakeheads!
350
00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:16,160
♪ Well, he's a hot tub daddy ♪
351
00:15:16,253 --> 00:15:18,753
♪ Have you heard the news? ♪
352
00:15:18,773 --> 00:15:21,014
♪ Captain of the bubbles ♪
353
00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:23,091
♪ King of the cu... ♪
Uh-oh.
354
00:15:23,185 --> 00:15:24,926
♪ I'm a hot tub... ♪
355
00:15:24,946 --> 00:15:26,428
Oh, no.
356
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,113
Oh, God, Jenny!
357
00:15:28,265 --> 00:15:31,008
I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot.
358
00:15:31,101 --> 00:15:33,202
I lost track of time.
359
00:15:34,789 --> 00:15:36,622
Oh, you going to the tiki bar?
360
00:15:36,849 --> 00:15:38,365
Yeah, have a drink. That's fun.
361
00:15:38,517 --> 00:15:41,351
Oh, just gonna just chug it
straight from the bottle?
362
00:15:41,445 --> 00:15:42,461
Okay.
363
00:15:42,688 --> 00:15:44,188
Oh. Gonna join us?
364
00:15:44,206 --> 00:15:45,780
(chuckles)
Good sign.
365
00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:50,469
Oh. Getting in the tub
with all your clothes on.
366
00:15:51,121 --> 00:15:53,389
Doing a fun squat?
367
00:15:55,201 --> 00:15:57,125
Oh, Lord, she's peeing.
368
00:15:57,219 --> 00:15:58,552
-Everybody out.
-(screaming)
369
00:15:58,646 --> 00:16:01,772
I'm actually fine with this.
370
00:16:06,153 --> 00:16:07,486
-(whimpering)
-Come on, Jenny.
371
00:16:07,637 --> 00:16:09,563
I'm so sorry. So crazy.
372
00:16:09,657 --> 00:16:12,324
I don't know what happened
to me, but I am so sorry.
373
00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:14,159
Please,
let me make it up to you.
374
00:16:14,311 --> 00:16:15,569
I know I messed up,
375
00:16:15,721 --> 00:16:18,146
but who pees in a hot tub
full of people? Come on.
376
00:16:18,165 --> 00:16:22,059
Well, you peed
on our relationship.
377
00:16:22,077 --> 00:16:25,062
You don't think
that's a little fancy
378
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,913
for a sale
at a chain retail store?
379
00:16:27,008 --> 00:16:29,233
Oh, this isn't just a sale.
380
00:16:29,251 --> 00:16:32,252
It's the friends
and family event.
381
00:16:32,404 --> 00:16:34,329
I just have to look perfect,
382
00:16:34,348 --> 00:16:36,590
'cause it's gonna be
a real fancy to-do.
383
00:16:36,742 --> 00:16:38,575
Cheeses you never heard of.
384
00:16:38,668 --> 00:16:40,502
Kobe beef sliders.
385
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:44,081
I'm thinking a multitiered
champagne fountain.
386
00:16:44,099 --> 00:16:45,916
I highly doubt Krull's
387
00:16:45,934 --> 00:16:48,843
would have a multitiered
champagne fountain.
388
00:16:48,937 --> 00:16:50,254
♪ ♪
389
00:16:50,347 --> 00:16:52,406
(indistinct chatter)
390
00:17:04,953 --> 00:17:06,378
(laughs)
391
00:17:12,053 --> 00:17:14,035
(gasps)
Rhonda!
392
00:17:14,129 --> 00:17:16,446
You look absolutely stunning.
393
00:17:16,465 --> 00:17:19,541
Everybody,
please give a warm welcome
394
00:17:19,635 --> 00:17:21,802
to my dear, dear friend,
395
00:17:21,896 --> 00:17:23,303
Rhonda Witherspoon.
396
00:17:23,455 --> 00:17:27,215
-Yes, he's...
-Now, without further ado,
397
00:17:27,309 --> 00:17:28,400
I present to you...
398
00:17:28,552 --> 00:17:31,719
all of the sizes
we said we were out of!
399
00:17:31,814 --> 00:17:33,906
Welcome
to all the designer names
400
00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:35,816
you could ever dream of:
401
00:17:35,910 --> 00:17:36,967
Joanna Gaines,
402
00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:38,226
Bethenny Frankel,
403
00:17:38,353 --> 00:17:40,562
leather shoulderless blouses
by Bonnie Raitt,
404
00:17:40,656 --> 00:17:42,364
scarves by Johnny Galecki.
405
00:17:42,416 --> 00:17:44,157
BETTY:
What's this I'm feeling?
406
00:17:44,251 --> 00:17:45,992
It's not guilt, is it?
407
00:17:46,145 --> 00:17:47,419
No, it's... it's got to be
408
00:17:47,571 --> 00:17:49,237
all those crab-stuffed mushrooms
I ate.
409
00:17:49,331 --> 00:17:51,757
No. It's guilt.
Damn you, Julian!
410
00:17:51,984 --> 00:17:54,093
Why'd you have to show me
your cute-ass family?
411
00:17:54,244 --> 00:17:56,595
Don't forget
what a turd he was to Betty.
412
00:17:56,746 --> 00:17:57,930
But Betty was a turd, too.
413
00:17:58,081 --> 00:18:00,248
Oh, would you just get
out of my head, Rhonda!
414
00:18:00,342 --> 00:18:02,267
-Rhonda, I have
a little surprise for you.
-(applause)
415
00:18:02,419 --> 00:18:05,562
Oh, I don't deserve
a surprise, do I?
416
00:18:07,124 --> 00:18:11,184
The Martina McBride
boho skirt that matches
417
00:18:11,337 --> 00:18:12,277
the peasant blouse?!
(gasps)
418
00:18:12,429 --> 00:18:14,929
I thought
they were discontinued.
419
00:18:15,023 --> 00:18:17,265
(chuckles):
Well, not for you, they're not.
420
00:18:17,284 --> 00:18:19,601
Oh, uh, I don't know.
421
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,195
What is wrong with you?
Try it on.
422
00:18:22,348 --> 00:18:24,030
-Maybe I should just go.
-What?
423
00:18:24,125 --> 00:18:25,365
Don't be ridiculous.
424
00:18:25,459 --> 00:18:27,042
Uh, um...
425
00:18:28,854 --> 00:18:30,629
(screams)
426
00:18:32,616 --> 00:18:34,299
JULIAN:
Betty Hart?
427
00:18:34,451 --> 00:18:36,552
I'm sorry, Julian.
(sobbing)
428
00:18:47,873 --> 00:18:49,055
(sighs)
429
00:18:49,150 --> 00:18:50,816
So, you finally discovered
430
00:18:50,967 --> 00:18:52,818
the dark side
of the bubbly oasis.
431
00:18:53,045 --> 00:18:55,045
-What?
-As soon as you got the tub,
432
00:18:55,063 --> 00:18:57,305
the crowds starting coming.
Cheering you on?
433
00:18:57,324 --> 00:18:59,158
Making you feel
like the king of the party?
434
00:18:59,309 --> 00:19:02,161
Yep. I was trying
to recapture my youth
435
00:19:02,388 --> 00:19:04,237
and ride that wave forever.
436
00:19:04,331 --> 00:19:07,315
Son, hot tub friendships are
flightier than a flock of gulls
437
00:19:07,334 --> 00:19:09,059
looking for a bread crumb
on a boardwalk.
438
00:19:09,077 --> 00:19:11,503
If you're not careful, you'll
lose it all chasing that high.
439
00:19:11,655 --> 00:19:13,730
And soon you'll be
an empty shell of a man
440
00:19:13,749 --> 00:19:16,233
with no real friends, three
ex-wives that hate your guts
441
00:19:16,251 --> 00:19:18,493
and a mean dad
who lives in your attic.
442
00:19:18,587 --> 00:19:21,346
Well, those details
seem awfully specific to you,
443
00:19:21,498 --> 00:19:22,664
but I get what you're saying.
444
00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:23,907
Well, it's too late
445
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,926
for me now,
but there's still time for you.
446
00:19:26,078 --> 00:19:28,478
Stay steamy, friend.
447
00:19:29,839 --> 00:19:31,857
You're probably
not gonna eat that, right?
448
00:19:32,084 --> 00:19:34,401
No. Go ahead.
449
00:19:42,519 --> 00:19:44,928
Betty Hart.
About to rub it in my face
450
00:19:44,947 --> 00:19:47,097
how you made me look
like a fool.
451
00:19:47,190 --> 00:19:49,399
No. I came to say I'm sorry.
452
00:19:49,401 --> 00:19:51,268
When I started this,
I was doing it
453
00:19:51,286 --> 00:19:52,786
to get back at you
for banning me.
454
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,214
But being Rhonda Witherspoon
with you
455
00:19:55,365 --> 00:19:58,959
has made me a better woman.
456
00:19:59,053 --> 00:20:01,111
I started out
wanting to trick you,
457
00:20:01,204 --> 00:20:03,113
but you ended up tricking me
458
00:20:03,206 --> 00:20:05,206
into being a better person
459
00:20:05,226 --> 00:20:08,602
and a good friend.
460
00:20:13,717 --> 00:20:15,567
Well, what are you waiting for?
461
00:20:15,719 --> 00:20:17,736
Really? I'm unbanned?
462
00:20:17,887 --> 00:20:20,405
Only after I see you
in that outfit.
463
00:20:20,557 --> 00:20:21,631
Which one?
464
00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:24,225
The Martina McBride,
you knickknack.
465
00:20:24,245 --> 00:20:26,060
Oh, it was way too big.
466
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,471
What? No.
467
00:20:27,489 --> 00:20:29,397
BETTY:
I swear.
It swallowed me whole.
468
00:20:29,416 --> 00:20:31,825
(both laugh)
469
00:20:31,919 --> 00:20:32,809
(engine starts)
470
00:20:32,828 --> 00:20:34,902
-You sold it?
-I had to.
471
00:20:34,922 --> 00:20:36,070
I'm sorry, Wayne.
472
00:20:36,090 --> 00:20:37,481
Me, too. But I didn't like
473
00:20:37,499 --> 00:20:39,149
what that hot tub
turned me into.
474
00:20:39,242 --> 00:20:40,425
But it just felt so good
475
00:20:40,652 --> 00:20:42,427
having so many people
want to be around me.
476
00:20:42,654 --> 00:20:44,412
But, Wayne,
that wasn't about the tub.
477
00:20:44,431 --> 00:20:45,989
People always want
to be around you,
478
00:20:46,082 --> 00:20:47,933
'cause you're
Wayne freakin' Edwards.
479
00:20:48,084 --> 00:20:51,344
I mean, you are so sweet
and funny and fun, and...
480
00:20:51,438 --> 00:20:53,087
you're still the captain.
481
00:20:53,181 --> 00:20:55,357
Captain of my heart.
482
00:21:00,672 --> 00:21:03,156
-Happy anniversary, Jenny.
-Happy anniversary, Wayne.
483
00:21:03,266 --> 00:21:05,191
Hey, who ended up
taking our tub?
484
00:21:05,286 --> 00:21:07,511
Yeah, I donated it
to a senior center.
485
00:21:07,604 --> 00:21:09,863
Aw. So sweet.
486
00:21:10,015 --> 00:21:12,457
-(whooping)
-(indistinct chatter)
487
00:21:12,684 --> 00:21:14,459
MAN:
Hallelujah.
488
00:21:14,686 --> 00:21:16,128
Nancy, put your top on.
489
00:21:16,355 --> 00:21:18,130
Nancy, put your bottoms on.
490
00:21:18,357 --> 00:21:20,040
Wait a minute.
(sniffs)
491
00:21:20,192 --> 00:21:21,358
Do I smell marijuana?
492
00:21:21,376 --> 00:21:23,668
Jesse! Where did you two
get that tequila?
493
00:21:23,895 --> 00:21:25,529
Get that blender out of the tub.
494
00:21:25,547 --> 00:21:27,213
Uh-oh,
Monty's having a heart attack.
495
00:21:27,308 --> 00:21:29,382
Get that blender
back in the tub!
496
00:21:29,535 --> 00:21:31,384
-(meows)
-(horn honks musically)
497
00:21:31,537 --> 00:21:33,628
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
498
00:21:33,647 --> 00:21:35,022
and TOYOTA.