1 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:04,774 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:07,512 --> 00:00:09,863 Ooh-hoo! Eat kilowatts, you dumb bug. 3 00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:11,773 Yes. Take that, you bloodsucker. 4 00:00:11,925 --> 00:00:14,183 -Here you go, milady. -Aww. 5 00:00:14,202 --> 00:00:15,443 Thank you, Wayne. 6 00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:18,096 Don't you guys have an anniversary coming up? 7 00:00:18,114 --> 00:00:19,614 Yep. Ten years. 8 00:00:19,766 --> 00:00:21,816 Lord, has it been ten years? 9 00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:24,860 Well, that makes sense 'cause y'all do look a lot older. 10 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:26,713 Good news is, I haven't changed a bit. 11 00:00:26,864 --> 00:00:28,823 That's a whole decade. Wow. 12 00:00:28,884 --> 00:00:30,291 What are you guys gonna do to celebrate? 13 00:00:30,385 --> 00:00:32,052 Well, you know, we're both working so much... 14 00:00:32,279 --> 00:00:34,888 Yeah, probably just go to the Great Sydney Steakhouse. 15 00:00:35,115 --> 00:00:37,223 Come home. Ooh. Watch a crime show, maybe? 16 00:00:37,450 --> 00:00:38,558 WAYNE: That sounds fun. 17 00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:40,118 Be in bed by 9:00. Wow. 18 00:00:40,211 --> 00:00:42,562 We really used to do it up on our anniversary, huh? 19 00:00:42,789 --> 00:00:45,973 Now we're just watching bugs kamikaze to their deaths. 20 00:00:46,126 --> 00:00:47,308 So, you slowed down. 21 00:00:47,402 --> 00:00:48,810 It's a natural part of the human condition. 22 00:00:48,904 --> 00:00:50,795 Just sliding slowly into oblivion, 23 00:00:50,888 --> 00:00:53,740 counting the days until you buy a walk-in bathtub, 24 00:00:53,891 --> 00:00:56,150 all the while wondering where the fun went. 25 00:00:56,303 --> 00:00:57,410 These bugs have it figured out. 26 00:00:57,562 --> 00:00:59,395 They live a week and die in their prime. 27 00:00:59,489 --> 00:01:02,165 You made the right choice, bug. 28 00:01:03,977 --> 00:01:06,086 ♪ ♪ 29 00:01:36,676 --> 00:01:39,285 Dang, a top-of-the-line Wet Heaven Pro-Snorkel 30 00:01:39,437 --> 00:01:41,195 Water-Based Relaxation System. 31 00:01:41,289 --> 00:01:43,531 (chuckles) I got to say, I'm a little jealous. 32 00:01:43,683 --> 00:01:45,700 Hey, how close are you boys to being done? 33 00:01:45,852 --> 00:01:49,671 Daddy needs his soak, or Daddy gets cranky. 34 00:01:50,615 --> 00:01:51,614 N-No, I'm sorry. 35 00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,967 I-I was talking about my actual dad. 36 00:01:54,118 --> 00:01:55,877 He's very unpleasant. 37 00:01:56,029 --> 00:01:59,530 Well, we're almost done here. This thing's a real beauty. 38 00:01:59,624 --> 00:02:00,956 Something wrong with this one? 39 00:02:00,976 --> 00:02:03,125 Ah, no. She still purrs like a kitten. 40 00:02:03,145 --> 00:02:05,052 But when you're living the Jacuzzi lifestyle, 41 00:02:05,205 --> 00:02:08,055 you got to stay current, got to keep the party fresh. 42 00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:09,965 Yeah, I could use a little party in my life. 43 00:02:09,985 --> 00:02:11,818 We'll probably never have a Jacuzzi, though. 44 00:02:11,969 --> 00:02:15,046 (chuckles) I see the way you're looking at my old girl. 45 00:02:15,064 --> 00:02:17,991 How about you take her off my hands? No charge. 46 00:02:18,218 --> 00:02:21,386 Are you kidding me? I can't even begin to thank you. 47 00:02:21,404 --> 00:02:23,388 This can be Jenny's anniversary gift. 48 00:02:23,481 --> 00:02:25,314 We've been told we're sliding into oblivion. 49 00:02:25,408 --> 00:02:26,815 Yeah, I was like you once. 50 00:02:26,835 --> 00:02:30,152 Feeling boxed in by the stifling cubicle some call life. 51 00:02:30,172 --> 00:02:32,821 Wondering if there could be a better way, a chiller way. 52 00:02:32,916 --> 00:02:35,233 Getting this 'cuzz changed everything. 53 00:02:35,326 --> 00:02:37,326 Let me ask you something, Wayne. 54 00:02:37,420 --> 00:02:40,405 -How old do you think I am? -I don't know, 50? 55 00:02:40,498 --> 00:02:42,665 Wayne, I have no idea how old I am. 56 00:02:42,759 --> 00:02:43,999 First I lost my watch, 57 00:02:44,093 --> 00:02:45,018 then I lost my calendar. 58 00:02:45,245 --> 00:02:46,352 I'm on island time now. 59 00:02:46,504 --> 00:02:49,414 For all I know, I'm 15,000 years old. 60 00:02:49,432 --> 00:02:50,172 Whoa. 61 00:02:50,192 --> 00:02:51,357 But I got to warn you-- 62 00:02:51,509 --> 00:02:53,584 the 'cuzz life is not for everyone. 63 00:02:53,603 --> 00:02:55,920 Once your twig and berries hit that 104-degree water, 64 00:02:56,013 --> 00:02:59,365 well, you're committing to a vacation that never stops. 65 00:02:59,517 --> 00:03:01,592 Is that a threat? 'Cause that sounds like 66 00:03:01,611 --> 00:03:03,185 the greatest threat in the world. 67 00:03:03,205 --> 00:03:05,096 Daddy needs his soak! 68 00:03:05,114 --> 00:03:06,414 Oh, Daddy... 69 00:03:07,283 --> 00:03:09,024 Surprise anniversary present? 70 00:03:09,044 --> 00:03:10,859 WAYNE: Ta-da! 71 00:03:10,954 --> 00:03:12,879 Wayne, oh, my Lord. 72 00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:13,880 A hot tub?! 73 00:03:14,031 --> 00:03:15,531 How's that for fun and spontaneous? 74 00:03:15,550 --> 00:03:18,367 Or should I say "spont-Wayne-eous"? 75 00:03:18,386 --> 00:03:20,294 (chuckles) I just thought of that. 76 00:03:20,388 --> 00:03:21,537 Did ya? 77 00:03:21,631 --> 00:03:23,114 Well, I-I thought of it very recently. 78 00:03:23,207 --> 00:03:25,299 It wasn't just... right now. 79 00:03:25,452 --> 00:03:27,118 (yelps) I love this hot tub! 80 00:03:27,136 --> 00:03:28,061 And I love you. 81 00:03:28,955 --> 00:03:33,307 Ooh, look at that Martina McBride boho peasant blouse. 82 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:34,734 40% off. 83 00:03:34,885 --> 00:03:37,645 I'm about to put you 100% on. 84 00:03:38,465 --> 00:03:40,240 Oh, hell no. If it's on the flier, 85 00:03:40,391 --> 00:03:42,075 it better be on the floor. 86 00:03:42,302 --> 00:03:45,036 I need to speak with the manager. Julian! 87 00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:46,729 (groans) 88 00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,322 God, I'd rather drown myself in a toilet. 89 00:03:48,416 --> 00:03:50,475 Good morning, Betty! How can I help you? 90 00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:52,234 I was told there would be ample stock 91 00:03:52,328 --> 00:03:53,828 of the Martina McBride peasant blouse, 92 00:03:53,980 --> 00:03:56,314 and yet there are none to be found. 93 00:03:56,332 --> 00:03:58,332 That's a bait and switch, which is a felony. 94 00:03:58,426 --> 00:04:00,426 Ms. Hart, I am not a sorcerer. 95 00:04:00,653 --> 00:04:03,154 I cannot simply make Martina McBride blouses 96 00:04:03,247 --> 00:04:05,172 appear out of thin air. 97 00:04:05,325 --> 00:04:06,507 You should've gotten here earlier. 98 00:04:06,601 --> 00:04:08,009 Oh, BS, Julian. 99 00:04:08,252 --> 00:04:11,012 I know there's a secret stash of the good stuff in the back. 100 00:04:11,164 --> 00:04:13,164 -Ma'am, we do not... -Don't you "ma'am" me, Julian. 101 00:04:13,182 --> 00:04:16,000 -Well, I will ma'am you, ma'am. -I know you know my name. You just said it. 102 00:04:16,019 --> 00:04:17,944 -Yes, I do know your name, ma'am. Ma'am. -I eagerly await the day 103 00:04:18,113 --> 00:04:20,280 -you get replaced by a self-scanner machine. -That won't happen, ma'am. 104 00:04:20,507 --> 00:04:23,116 Ms. Hart! I will not have you coming in here 105 00:04:23,343 --> 00:04:25,100 and insulting me on a weekly basis anymore. 106 00:04:25,194 --> 00:04:28,771 I am hereby permanently banning you from Krull's. 107 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:29,956 (all gasping) 108 00:04:30,107 --> 00:04:31,940 No! (grunts) 109 00:04:32,035 --> 00:04:34,035 Lady, do not rag-doll us. 110 00:04:34,187 --> 00:04:35,520 (grunting) 111 00:04:35,538 --> 00:04:37,714 Do not Jean-Claude Van Damme us, either. 112 00:04:39,134 --> 00:04:40,466 -Oof. -(tires screech) 113 00:04:40,618 --> 00:04:43,511 ♪ ♪ 114 00:04:47,976 --> 00:04:49,534 Mmm. 115 00:04:49,552 --> 00:04:52,053 These jets really know a waitress' bod. 116 00:04:52,205 --> 00:04:53,771 I am in heaven. 117 00:04:54,707 --> 00:04:56,891 Hot tub party! 118 00:04:56,985 --> 00:04:59,152 Doug! Peter! I hope you don't mind. 119 00:04:59,303 --> 00:05:00,711 They helped me put it in, so I told 'em 120 00:05:00,730 --> 00:05:01,879 they can stop by anytime. 121 00:05:01,972 --> 00:05:04,139 We brought some gettin' loose juice! 122 00:05:04,159 --> 00:05:06,734 And a hat for the 'cuzz ship captain. 123 00:05:06,886 --> 00:05:08,069 This is so cool. 124 00:05:08,221 --> 00:05:09,329 I'm a hot tub captain. 125 00:05:09,556 --> 00:05:12,056 I can legally marry anyone in this tub. 126 00:05:12,075 --> 00:05:13,166 Marry me and Doug. 127 00:05:13,393 --> 00:05:15,484 'Cause I want his lizards when he dies. 128 00:05:15,503 --> 00:05:16,727 JENNY: Hold on. 129 00:05:16,821 --> 00:05:18,546 Wayne. 130 00:05:19,549 --> 00:05:20,489 Jenny... 131 00:05:20,508 --> 00:05:22,592 ♪ ♪ 132 00:05:25,347 --> 00:05:27,329 I love it. I love everything about it! 133 00:05:27,349 --> 00:05:29,015 I love the jets. I love the moist heat. 134 00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:30,165 I love the party atmosphere. 135 00:05:30,185 --> 00:05:31,184 I love your tiny shorts. 136 00:05:31,411 --> 00:05:33,168 I love how open my sinuses are. 137 00:05:33,188 --> 00:05:35,746 And I especially love that sexy-ass captain's hat. 138 00:05:35,765 --> 00:05:38,006 (chuckles) There isn't a woman alive who can resist a man 139 00:05:38,026 --> 00:05:39,100 in a captain's hat. 140 00:05:39,252 --> 00:05:40,267 You idiots rock! 141 00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:42,010 Take that, our former selves. 142 00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:43,588 We're never getting old! 143 00:05:43,606 --> 00:05:44,847 (coughing) 144 00:05:44,941 --> 00:05:46,440 Of all the days to get banned, 145 00:05:46,534 --> 00:05:49,276 why did it have to be right before the Founders Day sale? 146 00:05:49,429 --> 00:05:51,537 There's just no way to sneak in there undetected. 147 00:05:51,689 --> 00:05:53,264 Y'all, I might have to make a scene 148 00:05:53,357 --> 00:05:55,266 -in my own home. -(scraping) 149 00:05:55,284 --> 00:05:58,102 Shh. All we need to do is disguise you. 150 00:05:58,121 --> 00:06:01,047 No. You can't hide this light under a bushel. 151 00:06:01,274 --> 00:06:02,715 This is a powerful light. 152 00:06:02,867 --> 00:06:04,199 You're in good hands, Gram. 153 00:06:04,293 --> 00:06:05,885 David has a thing for costumes. 154 00:06:06,112 --> 00:06:08,112 Let's just say my closet makes RuPaul's closet 155 00:06:08,205 --> 00:06:09,872 look like Tim Allen's closet. 156 00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,140 Let's get to work. 157 00:06:12,452 --> 00:06:14,468 (whooping) 158 00:06:14,621 --> 00:06:15,803 Chicken fight! 159 00:06:15,955 --> 00:06:17,563 (cheering) 160 00:06:18,566 --> 00:06:20,441 -Yeah! -(chattering) 161 00:06:22,979 --> 00:06:23,736 Whirlpool! 162 00:06:23,888 --> 00:06:24,979 -Whirlpool! -(gasping) 163 00:06:25,073 --> 00:06:26,739 (gurgling) 164 00:06:26,891 --> 00:06:27,798 I am Jenny Hart, 165 00:06:27,817 --> 00:06:30,410 and this is hot tub waterski! 166 00:06:31,137 --> 00:06:32,745 (gasping) 167 00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:36,082 -(whoops) We're back, baby. -(cheering) 168 00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:38,643 WAYNE: Yes, we are, baby! 169 00:06:38,661 --> 00:06:42,422 We need to build a new character from the ground up. 170 00:06:42,573 --> 00:06:45,383 ♪ ♪ 171 00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:52,932 She's perfect. 172 00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:54,750 Mm, not yet, she's not. 173 00:06:54,769 --> 00:06:56,994 The transformation can't just be on the outside. 174 00:06:57,087 --> 00:06:59,513 You need to become this new character. 175 00:06:59,607 --> 00:07:00,923 Ooh, let's role-play. 176 00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,275 You're in Krull's 177 00:07:02,502 --> 00:07:04,335 and the salesman says, "Excuse me, ma'am. 178 00:07:04,353 --> 00:07:05,945 I'm afraid your coupon is expired." 179 00:07:06,096 --> 00:07:08,689 I'd say, "Your life is about to be expired." 180 00:07:08,841 --> 00:07:11,784 Then, after high-fiving myself, I find a beer bottle, 181 00:07:12,011 --> 00:07:13,936 -break it on the counter... -Uh, Gram? 182 00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:14,937 (sighs) 183 00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:16,271 "Oh, heavens. 184 00:07:16,291 --> 00:07:17,865 "I couldn't read the date. 185 00:07:18,017 --> 00:07:20,017 My eyes just aren't what they used to be." 186 00:07:20,536 --> 00:07:23,037 Then, once I got his defenses down, 187 00:07:23,131 --> 00:07:25,280 I give him the old eyes, throat, crotch. 188 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:26,782 Then I look for a beer bottle, 189 00:07:26,876 --> 00:07:28,209 -break it over... -Gram. 190 00:07:28,361 --> 00:07:31,137 So I just say a bunch of nice bullcrap, and that's it? 191 00:07:31,364 --> 00:07:33,431 Do you want to get back into Krull's or not? 192 00:07:35,143 --> 00:07:35,975 Let's try it again. 193 00:07:36,126 --> 00:07:38,811 Your coupon is denied. 194 00:07:38,921 --> 00:07:39,920 (inhales) 195 00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:41,481 (exhales) 196 00:07:41,632 --> 00:07:44,633 Well, that's quite all right, you sweet young man. 197 00:07:44,652 --> 00:07:48,488 I'm happy to pay full price if those are the rules. 198 00:07:48,639 --> 00:07:50,548 Betty Jean Hart, 199 00:07:50,566 --> 00:07:52,566 that was perfect. 200 00:07:52,719 --> 00:07:54,902 Betty Hart, who's that? 201 00:07:55,054 --> 00:07:55,995 My name... 202 00:07:56,222 --> 00:07:58,331 is Rhonda Witherspoon. 203 00:07:58,558 --> 00:07:59,165 She's ready. 204 00:07:59,392 --> 00:08:00,816 She's more than ready. 205 00:08:00,835 --> 00:08:02,484 She's Rhonda. 206 00:08:02,504 --> 00:08:05,379 -(indistinct chatter) -(upbeat Latin music playing) 207 00:08:07,825 --> 00:08:09,550 (barking) 208 00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:16,349 Jenny, doesn't it feel good to let loose again? 209 00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:17,591 Oh, my God, yes. 210 00:08:17,744 --> 00:08:18,926 Now, what do you say 211 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,670 we take this party back to my room, Captain? 212 00:08:21,764 --> 00:08:22,855 -Oh, yeah. -(slurps) 213 00:08:23,082 --> 00:08:25,933 Uh, requesting permission to sexually dock. 214 00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:27,434 Permission granted. 215 00:08:27,529 --> 00:08:30,679 I'm gonna escort the captain back to his quarters and... 216 00:08:30,698 --> 00:08:32,606 see if I can raise his anchor. 217 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,200 Oh, no, wait, that doesn't sound right. 218 00:08:34,351 --> 00:08:37,870 I'm gonna put my hands around that big steering wheel and-- 219 00:08:38,097 --> 00:08:41,432 No, wait. I want to swab your poop deck. 220 00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:43,434 Nope. I am not good at these. (laughs) 221 00:08:43,452 --> 00:08:45,711 I just want you to come to bed with me. 222 00:08:45,863 --> 00:08:47,880 -I'm drunk, y'all! -(whooping) 223 00:08:48,032 --> 00:08:49,507 (cheering) 224 00:08:54,113 --> 00:08:56,347 (indistinct chatter) 225 00:09:01,971 --> 00:09:04,146 (snoring) 226 00:09:07,794 --> 00:09:10,644 ...so the guy at the Hot Tub Supply Store says, 227 00:09:10,738 --> 00:09:12,463 "Here's your chlorine." 228 00:09:12,556 --> 00:09:14,965 And I say, "Have you met my friends? 229 00:09:15,059 --> 00:09:15,983 You better double it." 230 00:09:16,135 --> 00:09:16,984 (laughter) 231 00:09:17,136 --> 00:09:19,245 (air horn sound effects) 232 00:09:19,396 --> 00:09:22,156 -(dance music playing) -(cheering) 233 00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:23,991 Wayne, the party's still going? 234 00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,233 What happened last night? 235 00:09:25,253 --> 00:09:27,069 I did all those sexy boat euphemisms, 236 00:09:27,163 --> 00:09:28,588 and then you never came to bed. 237 00:09:28,739 --> 00:09:29,997 Well, let me think. 238 00:09:30,149 --> 00:09:31,406 I had the captain's hat, 239 00:09:31,426 --> 00:09:33,092 and then Meemaw lost her belly button ring, 240 00:09:33,243 --> 00:09:35,428 so we had to turn off the jets to find that. 241 00:09:35,579 --> 00:09:37,838 And then there was a conga line... 242 00:09:37,990 --> 00:09:39,840 and then I couldn't find my captain's hat 243 00:09:39,934 --> 00:09:42,751 and then I looked over and Doug had on my captain's hat... 244 00:09:42,770 --> 00:09:44,345 Wayne, forget the captain's hat. 245 00:09:44,497 --> 00:09:46,513 We can't handle a hot tub. 246 00:09:46,666 --> 00:09:48,090 Oh, we can handle it. 247 00:09:48,184 --> 00:09:49,591 It's giving us our spark back. 248 00:09:49,611 --> 00:09:51,277 (scoffs) But there's no time for our spark 249 00:09:51,428 --> 00:09:52,837 with all these people around. 250 00:09:52,855 --> 00:09:55,022 We got people here I don't even know walking around. 251 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,949 Like, who is that lady? 252 00:09:57,101 --> 00:09:57,933 WAYNE: No idea. 253 00:09:58,027 --> 00:09:59,360 Ugh, I know it's our anniversary 254 00:09:59,454 --> 00:10:01,120 and I can't believe I'm saying this, but... 255 00:10:01,347 --> 00:10:03,289 I just want a boring dinner with you all to myself. 256 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,199 Can we do that? You and me? 257 00:10:05,351 --> 00:10:06,459 Huge steak, way too much bread. 258 00:10:06,686 --> 00:10:09,203 I'll even make the reservation. How's 7:30? 259 00:10:09,355 --> 00:10:10,204 Aye aye, Captain. 260 00:10:10,298 --> 00:10:12,356 Okay, well, I got to go to work. 261 00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:14,358 Just try to hydrate today, okay? 262 00:10:14,377 --> 00:10:15,617 Wait, who are all these people? 263 00:10:15,637 --> 00:10:18,379 Oh, yeah, I met these guys at the quarry. 264 00:10:18,531 --> 00:10:21,699 Hey, Captain, you got any old bread bags laying around? 265 00:10:21,717 --> 00:10:24,143 We can't get our ankle monitors wet. 266 00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:27,438 Yeah, I see what you mean. 267 00:10:28,541 --> 00:10:30,057 Look out, Krull's. 268 00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:33,152 Here comes Rhonda Witherspoon. 269 00:10:33,971 --> 00:10:35,303 David, no. 270 00:10:35,323 --> 00:10:38,115 This little bird needs to fly on her own. 271 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:43,829 CHERISH: Don't try to weasel out of this, Julian. 272 00:10:43,981 --> 00:10:45,572 A flier is a contract. 273 00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:48,668 Ma'am, only children's clothes are half off today. 274 00:10:48,819 --> 00:10:51,929 Now, I don't have my glasses on, but as far as I can tell, 275 00:10:51,931 --> 00:10:53,580 those are clearly full-grown men. 276 00:10:53,733 --> 00:10:55,323 Who are my children. 277 00:10:55,418 --> 00:10:58,010 So by definition, their clothes should be on sale! 278 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,328 (grunting) 279 00:11:00,348 --> 00:11:03,015 My stars! Now, we all know that "children" 280 00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:07,836 is referring to an age and not a relationship to the mother. 281 00:11:07,855 --> 00:11:11,598 Honey, do not transfer the pain that is going on in your life 282 00:11:11,693 --> 00:11:16,178 to this angel of a man, who is clearly doing his best. 283 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,939 -Ugh. -(grunting) 284 00:11:19,759 --> 00:11:23,594 Well, aren't you an absolute breath of fresh air? 285 00:11:23,612 --> 00:11:27,039 I'm Julian. You look very familiar. 286 00:11:27,191 --> 00:11:29,524 Have we crossed paths before? 287 00:11:30,603 --> 00:11:34,213 Well, I don't see how. The name's Rhonda Witherspoon. 288 00:11:34,364 --> 00:11:36,865 Just moved here from Nashville, Music City. 289 00:11:36,884 --> 00:11:40,277 Well, welcome to Greenpoint. What can I help you with today? 290 00:11:40,370 --> 00:11:43,781 I'm attending a Save the Earth fundraiser, 291 00:11:43,799 --> 00:11:45,299 and I was hoping to wear... 292 00:11:45,451 --> 00:11:48,543 The... Martina McBride boho peasant blouse? 293 00:11:48,563 --> 00:11:52,214 -How did you know? -It's my job to know. 294 00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:54,291 I have one in the back. Follow me. 295 00:11:54,384 --> 00:11:56,977 Oh, bless your sweet heart! 296 00:11:57,129 --> 00:11:58,571 (quietly): Freakin' knew it. 297 00:12:01,968 --> 00:12:04,744 Looks like a dingo ate your boyfriend. 298 00:12:04,971 --> 00:12:07,154 -What? -It's just a joke I do 299 00:12:07,306 --> 00:12:08,806 when people are being stood up. 300 00:12:08,824 --> 00:12:11,158 -Lightens the mood. -I'm not being stood up. 301 00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:13,644 Can I get you a Blossoming Onion? 302 00:12:13,737 --> 00:12:14,736 Single portion, hon? 303 00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:17,256 No, I will take two Blossoming Onions, 304 00:12:17,483 --> 00:12:19,483 because my boyfriend definitely will be here. 305 00:12:19,502 --> 00:12:22,486 Fair dinkam, y'all. I mean "mite." 306 00:12:22,505 --> 00:12:25,598 Please don't tell my manager I broke character. 307 00:12:25,825 --> 00:12:27,433 (sighs) 308 00:12:29,328 --> 00:12:31,979 ♪ ♪ 309 00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:41,489 (echoing): First I lost my watch. Then I lost my calendar. 310 00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:48,496 I'm on island time now. 311 00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:53,042 ♪ ♪ 312 00:13:01,118 --> 00:13:02,635 (gasps) 313 00:13:19,728 --> 00:13:23,638 Well, it really has been such a pleasure meeting you, Rhonda. 314 00:13:23,658 --> 00:13:26,867 Oh, the pleasure was all mine! 315 00:13:28,387 --> 00:13:31,813 Rhonda, would you like to come to my house for dinner? 316 00:13:31,907 --> 00:13:34,667 Oh, Julian! 317 00:13:38,822 --> 00:13:41,757 ♪ ♪ 318 00:13:44,086 --> 00:13:46,828 (laughter) 319 00:13:46,922 --> 00:13:49,139 ♪ ♪ 320 00:13:50,059 --> 00:13:52,334 Well, I guess I should be going. 321 00:13:52,428 --> 00:13:54,669 It's getting so late. Isn't it, you little angel? 322 00:13:54,689 --> 00:13:58,340 She is just a little angel, yes, she is! 323 00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:00,751 Okay, let's get you to bed. 324 00:14:00,844 --> 00:14:02,695 So nice to meet you, Rhonda. 325 00:14:02,846 --> 00:14:04,697 The pleasure was all mine. 326 00:14:04,848 --> 00:14:07,032 Okay, well, I guess I'm off. 327 00:14:07,259 --> 00:14:08,275 Rhonda, Rhonda, listen. 328 00:14:08,427 --> 00:14:10,369 Can I tell you something? 329 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,263 Ever since I met you, you've shown me 330 00:14:13,282 --> 00:14:15,933 that it is not a weakness to be kind. 331 00:14:16,026 --> 00:14:19,770 -Oh. No, Julian, don't... -No, no, no. Let me finish. 332 00:14:19,788 --> 00:14:21,788 Would you like to come with me 333 00:14:21,941 --> 00:14:25,459 to the special Krull's friends and family event tomorrow? 334 00:14:25,553 --> 00:14:28,779 It's a secret sale. Not open to the public. 335 00:14:28,872 --> 00:14:31,539 Usually everybody takes their mom or aunt or something, 336 00:14:31,559 --> 00:14:34,894 but I've never had anyone I felt I could bring before. 337 00:14:35,121 --> 00:14:36,303 Until now. 338 00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,122 I don't know what to say, Julian. 339 00:14:38,215 --> 00:14:39,973 Well, just say yes. 340 00:14:40,126 --> 00:14:41,692 BETTY: Yes! 341 00:14:46,908 --> 00:14:49,391 -WAITRESS: Hey! Wayne's here! -He made it! 342 00:14:49,485 --> 00:14:52,411 A red Wayne and a white Wayne spritzah! 343 00:14:53,489 --> 00:14:56,665 You know what? Your accent is stupid! 344 00:15:00,755 --> 00:15:03,163 ♪ Well, I'm a hot tub daddy ♪ 345 00:15:03,315 --> 00:15:05,332 ♪ Have you heard the news? ♪ 346 00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:07,668 ♪ Captain of the bubbles ♪ 347 00:15:07,762 --> 00:15:09,929 ♪ The king of the 'cuzz ♪ 348 00:15:10,747 --> 00:15:12,322 Thanks, number hula girls! 349 00:15:12,416 --> 00:15:13,432 Take it away, snakeheads! 350 00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:16,160 ♪ Well, he's a hot tub daddy ♪ 351 00:15:16,253 --> 00:15:18,753 ♪ Have you heard the news? ♪ 352 00:15:18,773 --> 00:15:21,014 ♪ Captain of the bubbles ♪ 353 00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:23,091 ♪ King of the cu... ♪ Uh-oh. 354 00:15:23,185 --> 00:15:24,926 ♪ I'm a hot tub... ♪ 355 00:15:24,946 --> 00:15:26,428 Oh, no. 356 00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,113 Oh, God, Jenny! 357 00:15:28,265 --> 00:15:31,008 I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot. 358 00:15:31,101 --> 00:15:33,202 I lost track of time. 359 00:15:34,789 --> 00:15:36,622 Oh, you going to the tiki bar? 360 00:15:36,849 --> 00:15:38,365 Yeah, have a drink. That's fun. 361 00:15:38,517 --> 00:15:41,351 Oh, just gonna just chug it straight from the bottle? 362 00:15:41,445 --> 00:15:42,461 Okay. 363 00:15:42,688 --> 00:15:44,188 Oh. Gonna join us? 364 00:15:44,206 --> 00:15:45,780 (chuckles) Good sign. 365 00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:50,469 Oh. Getting in the tub with all your clothes on. 366 00:15:51,121 --> 00:15:53,389 Doing a fun squat? 367 00:15:55,201 --> 00:15:57,125 Oh, Lord, she's peeing. 368 00:15:57,219 --> 00:15:58,552 -Everybody out. -(screaming) 369 00:15:58,646 --> 00:16:01,772 I'm actually fine with this. 370 00:16:06,153 --> 00:16:07,486 -(whimpering) -Come on, Jenny. 371 00:16:07,637 --> 00:16:09,563 I'm so sorry. So crazy. 372 00:16:09,657 --> 00:16:12,324 I don't know what happened to me, but I am so sorry. 373 00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:14,159 Please, let me make it up to you. 374 00:16:14,311 --> 00:16:15,569 I know I messed up, 375 00:16:15,721 --> 00:16:18,146 but who pees in a hot tub full of people? Come on. 376 00:16:18,165 --> 00:16:22,059 Well, you peed on our relationship. 377 00:16:22,077 --> 00:16:25,062 You don't think that's a little fancy 378 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,913 for a sale at a chain retail store? 379 00:16:27,008 --> 00:16:29,233 Oh, this isn't just a sale. 380 00:16:29,251 --> 00:16:32,252 It's the friends and family event. 381 00:16:32,404 --> 00:16:34,329 I just have to look perfect, 382 00:16:34,348 --> 00:16:36,590 'cause it's gonna be a real fancy to-do. 383 00:16:36,742 --> 00:16:38,575 Cheeses you never heard of. 384 00:16:38,668 --> 00:16:40,502 Kobe beef sliders. 385 00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:44,081 I'm thinking a multitiered champagne fountain. 386 00:16:44,099 --> 00:16:45,916 I highly doubt Krull's 387 00:16:45,934 --> 00:16:48,843 would have a multitiered champagne fountain. 388 00:16:48,937 --> 00:16:50,254 ♪ ♪ 389 00:16:50,347 --> 00:16:52,406 (indistinct chatter) 390 00:17:04,953 --> 00:17:06,378 (laughs) 391 00:17:12,053 --> 00:17:14,035 (gasps) Rhonda! 392 00:17:14,129 --> 00:17:16,446 You look absolutely stunning. 393 00:17:16,465 --> 00:17:19,541 Everybody, please give a warm welcome 394 00:17:19,635 --> 00:17:21,802 to my dear, dear friend, 395 00:17:21,896 --> 00:17:23,303 Rhonda Witherspoon. 396 00:17:23,455 --> 00:17:27,215 -Yes, he's... -Now, without further ado, 397 00:17:27,309 --> 00:17:28,400 I present to you... 398 00:17:28,552 --> 00:17:31,719 all of the sizes we said we were out of! 399 00:17:31,814 --> 00:17:33,906 Welcome to all the designer names 400 00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:35,816 you could ever dream of: 401 00:17:35,910 --> 00:17:36,967 Joanna Gaines, 402 00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:38,226 Bethenny Frankel, 403 00:17:38,353 --> 00:17:40,562 leather shoulderless blouses by Bonnie Raitt, 404 00:17:40,656 --> 00:17:42,364 scarves by Johnny Galecki. 405 00:17:42,416 --> 00:17:44,157 BETTY: What's this I'm feeling? 406 00:17:44,251 --> 00:17:45,992 It's not guilt, is it? 407 00:17:46,145 --> 00:17:47,419 No, it's... it's got to be 408 00:17:47,571 --> 00:17:49,237 all those crab-stuffed mushrooms I ate. 409 00:17:49,331 --> 00:17:51,757 No. It's guilt. Damn you, Julian! 410 00:17:51,984 --> 00:17:54,093 Why'd you have to show me your cute-ass family? 411 00:17:54,244 --> 00:17:56,595 Don't forget what a turd he was to Betty. 412 00:17:56,746 --> 00:17:57,930 But Betty was a turd, too. 413 00:17:58,081 --> 00:18:00,248 Oh, would you just get out of my head, Rhonda! 414 00:18:00,342 --> 00:18:02,267 -Rhonda, I have a little surprise for you. -(applause) 415 00:18:02,419 --> 00:18:05,562 Oh, I don't deserve a surprise, do I? 416 00:18:07,124 --> 00:18:11,184 The Martina McBride boho skirt that matches 417 00:18:11,337 --> 00:18:12,277 the peasant blouse?! (gasps) 418 00:18:12,429 --> 00:18:14,929 I thought they were discontinued. 419 00:18:15,023 --> 00:18:17,265 (chuckles): Well, not for you, they're not. 420 00:18:17,284 --> 00:18:19,601 Oh, uh, I don't know. 421 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,195 What is wrong with you? Try it on. 422 00:18:22,348 --> 00:18:24,030 -Maybe I should just go. -What? 423 00:18:24,125 --> 00:18:25,365 Don't be ridiculous. 424 00:18:25,459 --> 00:18:27,042 Uh, um... 425 00:18:28,854 --> 00:18:30,629 (screams) 426 00:18:32,616 --> 00:18:34,299 JULIAN: Betty Hart? 427 00:18:34,451 --> 00:18:36,552 I'm sorry, Julian. (sobbing) 428 00:18:47,873 --> 00:18:49,055 (sighs) 429 00:18:49,150 --> 00:18:50,816 So, you finally discovered 430 00:18:50,967 --> 00:18:52,818 the dark side of the bubbly oasis. 431 00:18:53,045 --> 00:18:55,045 -What? -As soon as you got the tub, 432 00:18:55,063 --> 00:18:57,305 the crowds starting coming. Cheering you on? 433 00:18:57,324 --> 00:18:59,158 Making you feel like the king of the party? 434 00:18:59,309 --> 00:19:02,161 Yep. I was trying to recapture my youth 435 00:19:02,388 --> 00:19:04,237 and ride that wave forever. 436 00:19:04,331 --> 00:19:07,315 Son, hot tub friendships are flightier than a flock of gulls 437 00:19:07,334 --> 00:19:09,059 looking for a bread crumb on a boardwalk. 438 00:19:09,077 --> 00:19:11,503 If you're not careful, you'll lose it all chasing that high. 439 00:19:11,655 --> 00:19:13,730 And soon you'll be an empty shell of a man 440 00:19:13,749 --> 00:19:16,233 with no real friends, three ex-wives that hate your guts 441 00:19:16,251 --> 00:19:18,493 and a mean dad who lives in your attic. 442 00:19:18,587 --> 00:19:21,346 Well, those details seem awfully specific to you, 443 00:19:21,498 --> 00:19:22,664 but I get what you're saying. 444 00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:23,907 Well, it's too late 445 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,926 for me now, but there's still time for you. 446 00:19:26,078 --> 00:19:28,478 Stay steamy, friend. 447 00:19:29,839 --> 00:19:31,857 You're probably not gonna eat that, right? 448 00:19:32,084 --> 00:19:34,401 No. Go ahead. 449 00:19:42,519 --> 00:19:44,928 Betty Hart. About to rub it in my face 450 00:19:44,947 --> 00:19:47,097 how you made me look like a fool. 451 00:19:47,190 --> 00:19:49,399 No. I came to say I'm sorry. 452 00:19:49,401 --> 00:19:51,268 When I started this, I was doing it 453 00:19:51,286 --> 00:19:52,786 to get back at you for banning me. 454 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,214 But being Rhonda Witherspoon with you 455 00:19:55,365 --> 00:19:58,959 has made me a better woman. 456 00:19:59,053 --> 00:20:01,111 I started out wanting to trick you, 457 00:20:01,204 --> 00:20:03,113 but you ended up tricking me 458 00:20:03,206 --> 00:20:05,206 into being a better person 459 00:20:05,226 --> 00:20:08,602 and a good friend. 460 00:20:13,717 --> 00:20:15,567 Well, what are you waiting for? 461 00:20:15,719 --> 00:20:17,736 Really? I'm unbanned? 462 00:20:17,887 --> 00:20:20,405 Only after I see you in that outfit. 463 00:20:20,557 --> 00:20:21,631 Which one? 464 00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:24,225 The Martina McBride, you knickknack. 465 00:20:24,245 --> 00:20:26,060 Oh, it was way too big. 466 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,471 What? No. 467 00:20:27,489 --> 00:20:29,397 BETTY: I swear. It swallowed me whole. 468 00:20:29,416 --> 00:20:31,825 (both laugh) 469 00:20:31,919 --> 00:20:32,809 (engine starts) 470 00:20:32,828 --> 00:20:34,902 -You sold it? -I had to. 471 00:20:34,922 --> 00:20:36,070 I'm sorry, Wayne. 472 00:20:36,090 --> 00:20:37,481 Me, too. But I didn't like 473 00:20:37,499 --> 00:20:39,149 what that hot tub turned me into. 474 00:20:39,242 --> 00:20:40,425 But it just felt so good 475 00:20:40,652 --> 00:20:42,427 having so many people want to be around me. 476 00:20:42,654 --> 00:20:44,412 But, Wayne, that wasn't about the tub. 477 00:20:44,431 --> 00:20:45,989 People always want to be around you, 478 00:20:46,082 --> 00:20:47,933 'cause you're Wayne freakin' Edwards. 479 00:20:48,084 --> 00:20:51,344 I mean, you are so sweet and funny and fun, and... 480 00:20:51,438 --> 00:20:53,087 you're still the captain. 481 00:20:53,181 --> 00:20:55,357 Captain of my heart. 482 00:21:00,672 --> 00:21:03,156 -Happy anniversary, Jenny. -Happy anniversary, Wayne. 483 00:21:03,266 --> 00:21:05,191 Hey, who ended up taking our tub? 484 00:21:05,286 --> 00:21:07,511 Yeah, I donated it to a senior center. 485 00:21:07,604 --> 00:21:09,863 Aw. So sweet. 486 00:21:10,015 --> 00:21:12,457 -(whooping) -(indistinct chatter) 487 00:21:12,684 --> 00:21:14,459 MAN: Hallelujah. 488 00:21:14,686 --> 00:21:16,128 Nancy, put your top on. 489 00:21:16,355 --> 00:21:18,130 Nancy, put your bottoms on. 490 00:21:18,357 --> 00:21:20,040 Wait a minute. (sniffs) 491 00:21:20,192 --> 00:21:21,358 Do I smell marijuana? 492 00:21:21,376 --> 00:21:23,668 Jesse! Where did you two get that tequila? 493 00:21:23,895 --> 00:21:25,529 Get that blender out of the tub. 494 00:21:25,547 --> 00:21:27,213 Uh-oh, Monty's having a heart attack. 495 00:21:27,308 --> 00:21:29,382 Get that blender back in the tub! 496 00:21:29,535 --> 00:21:31,384 -(meows) -(horn honks musically) 497 00:21:31,537 --> 00:21:33,628 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 498 00:21:33,647 --> 00:21:35,022 and TOYOTA.