1 00:00:02,691 --> 00:00:04,415 HOST (on TV): Hang on to your guac, 2 00:00:04,434 --> 00:00:06,601 'cause it's time for... 3 00:00:06,695 --> 00:00:09,937 AUDIENCE: America's... Funniest... People 4 00:00:10,032 --> 00:00:11,439 Getting Out of... a Booth 5 00:00:11,575 --> 00:00:15,368 in a Mexican... Restaurant. 6 00:00:15,561 --> 00:00:19,355 Uh-oh. Looks like Junior has to go to the little señor's room. 7 00:00:19,416 --> 00:00:20,948 (in child's voice): "This vinyl booth is sticky. 8 00:00:21,101 --> 00:00:22,542 Why did I wear shorts?" 9 00:00:22,711 --> 00:00:25,603 Ooh-hoo, my thighs are stinging just looking at that. 10 00:00:25,663 --> 00:00:27,696 (sighs loudly) 11 00:00:27,758 --> 00:00:30,108 This. 12 00:00:30,168 --> 00:00:32,293 This is how I want to remember y'all. 13 00:00:32,387 --> 00:00:33,887 Gram, are you okay? 14 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,705 Violet, I want you to have this. 15 00:00:37,801 --> 00:00:41,394 200 AC/DC dollars from the "Moneytalks" tour. 16 00:00:41,546 --> 00:00:43,379 Since Brexit, they're worth more 17 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:44,880 than the pound. (sniffles) 18 00:00:44,941 --> 00:00:46,215 Thanks? 19 00:00:46,276 --> 00:00:48,976 Wayne, take care of my Jenny. 20 00:00:49,071 --> 00:00:52,980 And just know that I was hard on you 'cause I care about you. 21 00:00:53,075 --> 00:00:54,908 (grunts) Um... thanks? 22 00:00:55,101 --> 00:00:56,801 What the heck is going on? 23 00:00:56,861 --> 00:00:58,727 This is extra, even for Gram. 24 00:00:58,747 --> 00:01:00,229 Ugh. Oh, no. 25 00:01:00,290 --> 00:01:02,640 A few years ago, that stupid psychic she goes to 26 00:01:02,659 --> 00:01:04,158 told her what day she was gonna die. 27 00:01:04,252 --> 00:01:05,835 Violet, hand me that calendar. 28 00:01:06,871 --> 00:01:08,237 Yup, it's today all right. 29 00:01:08,298 --> 00:01:10,331 Oh, so she seriously thinks she's gonna die 30 00:01:10,483 --> 00:01:12,908 by the stroke of midnight? Amazing. 31 00:01:13,011 --> 00:01:15,911 Oh... Lord! 32 00:01:15,972 --> 00:01:18,264 And, Jenny, my precious angel... 33 00:01:18,416 --> 00:01:19,657 Oh, it's still going. 34 00:01:19,717 --> 00:01:21,750 I can only imagine how hard it was 35 00:01:21,812 --> 00:01:23,328 for you to have such a strong 36 00:01:23,388 --> 00:01:25,588 and captivating woman as your mother. 37 00:01:25,649 --> 00:01:27,273 But soon you'll be free 38 00:01:27,442 --> 00:01:30,518 from the pressure of living in my shadow. 39 00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:32,837 -Good Lord. -(clears throat) 40 00:01:32,897 --> 00:01:36,190 Anything else you want to say before I go to be with Jesus? 41 00:01:36,284 --> 00:01:38,176 Fine, Mother, you were never, ever a burden, 42 00:01:38,236 --> 00:01:39,694 a great mom, and every day was a gift. 43 00:01:39,846 --> 00:01:43,514 Oh, thank you, baby, for telling me the truth. 44 00:01:44,576 --> 00:01:49,796 Fare thee well, mon Ferrero Rochers. 45 00:01:49,989 --> 00:01:51,548 (upbeat music, laughter on TV) 46 00:01:58,849 --> 00:02:02,049 How do you like your blue-eyed girl, Mr. Death? 47 00:02:02,144 --> 00:02:05,311 Jesus, I am coming your way. 48 00:02:06,097 --> 00:02:07,889 And three, two. 49 00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:10,316 BETTY: Oh, what the hell?! 50 00:02:11,311 --> 00:02:13,469 I've been bamboozled! 51 00:02:13,530 --> 00:02:15,572 ♪ ♪ 52 00:02:43,518 --> 00:02:45,351 ♪ ♪ 53 00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:49,597 Oh, are you going fishing with your ding-dong friends today? 54 00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:52,174 Hey, those ding-dong friends are my friends. 55 00:02:52,235 --> 00:02:54,252 And getting them to go fishing was not easy. 56 00:02:54,312 --> 00:02:56,845 Their idea of what's fun is pretty different than mine. 57 00:02:56,907 --> 00:02:58,439 Hey, homes. 58 00:02:58,575 --> 00:03:01,092 Five bucks says you won't eat this light bulb. 59 00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:02,368 -You're on. -No! 60 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,038 Guys, do not jump into the garden center. 61 00:03:05,189 --> 00:03:06,372 You will break your ankles. 62 00:03:06,541 --> 00:03:08,491 We already broke our ankles. 63 00:03:08,543 --> 00:03:10,526 You can't rebreak an ankle. 64 00:03:11,421 --> 00:03:13,862 PETER: Insulation smackdown! 65 00:03:13,882 --> 00:03:16,549 You guys, that fiberglass is gonna make you itchy as hell. 66 00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:19,627 Sounds like you're itching to get tackled, homie. 67 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,128 (both grunting) 68 00:03:21,281 --> 00:03:23,114 Their credo is basically "What doesn't kill me 69 00:03:23,174 --> 00:03:24,707 -makes me funner." -(Betty groans) 70 00:03:24,768 --> 00:03:28,286 Well, like Jesus once said, "I'm back." 71 00:03:28,346 --> 00:03:30,671 Betty, I'm so glad you're still with us. 72 00:03:30,823 --> 00:03:32,473 Don't rub it in, Wayne. 73 00:03:32,609 --> 00:03:34,308 Gram, just so you know, I was gonna pretend you were a ghost 74 00:03:34,444 --> 00:03:36,218 when you came out, but Mom wouldn't let me. 75 00:03:36,279 --> 00:03:38,312 Thank you, baby. Stupid psychic. 76 00:03:38,406 --> 00:03:40,798 I sunk good money into this death: 77 00:03:40,858 --> 00:03:43,409 put a casket on layaway, got a mold of my bust 78 00:03:43,578 --> 00:03:45,745 to be sent to the original members of Whitesnake, 79 00:03:45,896 --> 00:03:49,448 and let's not forget the Betty Hart Memorial Garden. 80 00:03:49,642 --> 00:03:51,066 Yeah, who could have predicted 81 00:03:51,086 --> 00:03:52,568 former interior decorator- turned-psychic 82 00:03:52,629 --> 00:03:55,237 Vohnnie Ray Power would have ripped you off? 83 00:03:55,298 --> 00:03:57,406 Yeah, technically, he ripped you off. 84 00:03:57,467 --> 00:03:59,408 I used your bank card. 85 00:03:59,469 --> 00:04:02,003 Seriously?! Ooh, you are such a pain in my butt all the time. 86 00:04:02,155 --> 00:04:03,337 We are going down there right now 87 00:04:03,490 --> 00:04:05,172 and getting our... my money back. 88 00:04:05,308 --> 00:04:06,933 I'm so excited. 89 00:04:07,084 --> 00:04:08,342 Do you think Vohnnie Ray knows we're on our way? 90 00:04:08,436 --> 00:04:09,769 -No. -Oh, yes. 91 00:04:09,938 --> 00:04:11,846 (entry bell jingles) 92 00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:13,831 I can't believe you're making us go fishing, homes. 93 00:04:13,891 --> 00:04:15,850 DOUG: And I can't believe you wouldn't let me ride 94 00:04:15,944 --> 00:04:18,778 Cape Fear style on the way over here. 95 00:04:18,929 --> 00:04:22,340 I'm not letting you strap yourself under my truck, Doug. 96 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,951 Whoa, what the hell is this? 97 00:04:25,144 --> 00:04:27,102 RUTH: That there is either 98 00:04:27,122 --> 00:04:31,032 God's biggest mistake or the devil's masterpiece. 99 00:04:31,184 --> 00:04:32,775 It's called a snakehead, 100 00:04:32,836 --> 00:04:35,369 and it's been gobbling up everything in sight 101 00:04:35,522 --> 00:04:37,522 in every waterway on the East Coast. 102 00:04:37,582 --> 00:04:39,373 And now it's here in Greenpoint. 103 00:04:39,526 --> 00:04:41,116 Yeah? So what? We got a new fish. 104 00:04:41,177 --> 00:04:42,527 What's the big deal, brahs? 105 00:04:42,587 --> 00:04:45,621 This is no ordinary "fursh"! 106 00:04:45,682 --> 00:04:48,533 It can breathe on land for hours at a time. 107 00:04:48,593 --> 00:04:51,960 It's as smart as a dumb five-year-old child. 108 00:04:51,980 --> 00:04:57,558 And it secretes a neurotoxin that is more powerful than LSD. 109 00:04:57,652 --> 00:04:58,967 Oh, hell yeah. 110 00:04:59,070 --> 00:05:01,045 Aw, got to catch that fish, homes. 111 00:05:01,105 --> 00:05:02,380 Geez, where did it come from? 112 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,324 They say Asia, but if you ask me, 113 00:05:04,517 --> 00:05:06,400 they are not of this world. 114 00:05:06,494 --> 00:05:08,477 They're killing all the fish. 115 00:05:08,496 --> 00:05:10,388 And they're coming after us next, boys. 116 00:05:10,448 --> 00:05:13,074 Ruth, don't scare the customers. 117 00:05:13,209 --> 00:05:15,226 But, seriously, if y'all do catch a snakehead, 118 00:05:15,286 --> 00:05:16,727 do not put it back in the water. 119 00:05:16,746 --> 00:05:19,897 Put it on ice, and call the snakehead tip line. 120 00:05:19,916 --> 00:05:21,323 -(airhorn blows) -Aah! 121 00:05:21,384 --> 00:05:23,176 Did you just huff an airhorn? 122 00:05:23,345 --> 00:05:25,345 Ever since my run-in with a snakehead, 123 00:05:25,513 --> 00:05:28,181 it's the only thing that keeps me sane. 124 00:05:28,374 --> 00:05:29,924 (airhorn blows) 125 00:05:30,018 --> 00:05:32,259 Like we have a hundred dollars 126 00:05:32,412 --> 00:05:33,686 -to spend on this horse crap. -Oh, what do you care? 127 00:05:33,838 --> 00:05:36,338 When I was about to die, you didn't even sniff. 128 00:05:36,358 --> 00:05:38,583 Let me in, you dollar store sorcerer! 129 00:05:38,643 --> 00:05:40,693 I cannot wait for this spiritual shaman to confirm 130 00:05:40,845 --> 00:05:45,256 what I've always known: that I am a witch. 131 00:05:45,316 --> 00:05:47,182 Violet, you are not a witch. 132 00:05:47,243 --> 00:05:50,261 I have BWE-- big witch energy. 133 00:05:50,321 --> 00:05:53,206 Where are you? Come on out, Nostra-dumb-ass. 134 00:05:53,399 --> 00:05:55,500 VOHNNIE: Hello? Hello? 135 00:05:57,045 --> 00:05:59,695 Sorry. I just was in the little wizard's room. 136 00:05:59,756 --> 00:06:01,606 (chuckles, gasps) 137 00:06:01,624 --> 00:06:03,774 Betty Jean Hart, as I live and breathe! 138 00:06:03,876 --> 00:06:05,868 More like, as I live and breathe. 139 00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,795 You told me my death day was yesterday, 140 00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,797 and here I am, still alive. 141 00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,874 That is a refund situation. 142 00:06:11,935 --> 00:06:15,377 We're not leaving until you give us our money back. 143 00:06:15,438 --> 00:06:18,623 Oh. Oh, I see what's going on here. 144 00:06:18,683 --> 00:06:21,308 Betty, you thought I was talking about your physical death, 145 00:06:21,461 --> 00:06:24,979 but what I was talking about was your metaphorical death. 146 00:06:25,073 --> 00:06:26,221 -(gasps) -Here we go. 147 00:06:26,241 --> 00:06:27,723 Of course. 148 00:06:27,784 --> 00:06:29,558 How could I have ever doubted you, Vohnnie? 149 00:06:29,577 --> 00:06:31,318 You're still giving our money back. 150 00:06:31,413 --> 00:06:33,353 Minus the cost of this book-- Bun in the Coven: 151 00:06:33,415 --> 00:06:35,640 Motherhood, Witchcraft, and the Ties That Bind. 152 00:06:35,741 --> 00:06:37,566 I have to have it. Please, please, please. 153 00:06:37,627 --> 00:06:42,237 Oh, no. Hold on a second. I'm sensing a dark energy. 154 00:06:42,298 --> 00:06:43,572 Yes! I knew it. 155 00:06:43,675 --> 00:06:44,982 It's me. Here it comes. 156 00:06:45,042 --> 00:06:46,333 Wow, wow, wow, wow. 157 00:06:46,486 --> 00:06:49,654 No, it's coming from her. 158 00:06:49,714 --> 00:06:52,173 -What? -Betty, I don't know how to tell you this, 159 00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:54,175 but your daughter is cursed. 160 00:06:54,327 --> 00:06:55,768 Going back a long way. 161 00:06:55,961 --> 00:06:58,329 It's in her blood. 162 00:06:58,347 --> 00:06:59,939 Oh, so I ask for our money back, and suddenly I'm cursed? 163 00:07:00,108 --> 00:07:01,515 Okay, watch this. 164 00:07:01,609 --> 00:07:03,609 So how much to lift this convenient curse 165 00:07:03,778 --> 00:07:04,944 you just discovered? 166 00:07:05,113 --> 00:07:07,763 Oh, I'm afraid this curse runs so dark 167 00:07:07,824 --> 00:07:11,358 and so deep, no amount of money can lift it. 168 00:07:11,511 --> 00:07:13,435 -No! My daughter! -But since I'm her daughter, 169 00:07:13,496 --> 00:07:14,862 I've got some of it, right? 170 00:07:15,014 --> 00:07:16,605 I'm at least a minor hag or a necromancer? 171 00:07:16,708 --> 00:07:19,366 Ugh! I can't be around all y'all's darkness! 172 00:07:19,519 --> 00:07:21,443 This reading was free. Take the book. Just get out! 173 00:07:21,546 --> 00:07:23,946 At least tell me my real death date. 174 00:07:24,007 --> 00:07:25,298 Or better yet, hers. 175 00:07:25,491 --> 00:07:27,633 When am I gonna bury my daughter? 176 00:07:27,785 --> 00:07:30,211 Y'all saw what just happened, right? 177 00:07:30,305 --> 00:07:32,120 He made us think we saved a hundred dollars 178 00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:35,199 when all he did was keep the hundred he already had. 179 00:07:35,218 --> 00:07:36,959 But, Jenny, you're cursed. 180 00:07:37,020 --> 00:07:38,478 Oh, come on. I'm not cursed. 181 00:07:38,646 --> 00:07:40,371 That's ridiculous. 182 00:07:40,473 --> 00:07:41,706 (caws) 183 00:07:41,807 --> 00:07:43,316 Oh, no, no, hang on. 184 00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:44,984 A bird bathrooming on you is considered good luck. 185 00:07:45,135 --> 00:07:46,652 (caws) 186 00:07:46,845 --> 00:07:49,547 What does it mean when two more birds poop on you? 187 00:07:49,607 --> 00:07:52,867 It means you're triple lucky, so nothing's wrong. 188 00:07:54,186 --> 00:07:56,162 Just stepped in dog doo, then gum. 189 00:07:56,355 --> 00:07:57,813 I know what I stepped in. 190 00:07:57,874 --> 00:08:00,124 Uh, Mom? 191 00:08:01,669 --> 00:08:04,295 Ugh! Still there! 192 00:08:05,173 --> 00:08:06,589 (scraping with shoe) 193 00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:09,675 Ugh! Just get in the car! 194 00:08:09,868 --> 00:08:12,236 See, isn't this nice? 195 00:08:12,255 --> 00:08:15,422 Nobody's eating glass or other non-food items. 196 00:08:15,517 --> 00:08:19,018 Let's just take a minute and enjoy the sounds of nature. 197 00:08:19,211 --> 00:08:20,261 (water bubbling) 198 00:08:20,413 --> 00:08:21,245 (whimpering) 199 00:08:21,347 --> 00:08:23,171 You hooked my eyelid! 200 00:08:23,274 --> 00:08:24,932 Aah, dang it! 201 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:27,084 You got my eyelid, too, homes. 202 00:08:27,144 --> 00:08:29,529 Oh, Wayne, get a picture of this. 203 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,139 Okay, you know what? Maybe we should just pull the boat in 204 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,258 and then just go home and go to sleep. 205 00:08:34,318 --> 00:08:37,428 (chuckles) This is crazy. That fish 206 00:08:37,446 --> 00:08:39,021 -looks just like the snake... -(hisses) 207 00:08:39,082 --> 00:08:40,039 Oh, my God! 208 00:08:40,232 --> 00:08:43,209 (Peter screaming) 209 00:08:47,498 --> 00:08:48,881 WAYNE: No. Come here, bastard. 210 00:08:49,074 --> 00:08:50,608 (Doug and Peter groaning) 211 00:08:50,668 --> 00:08:51,942 Let go, homes. 212 00:08:52,003 --> 00:08:53,460 Let me lick that LSD fish. 213 00:08:53,555 --> 00:08:55,370 Yeah, you heard what that lady said. 214 00:08:55,431 --> 00:08:57,390 -This fish is full of drugs. -No. 215 00:08:57,541 --> 00:09:01,118 She said that its slime is a dangerous neurotoxin. 216 00:09:01,137 --> 00:09:03,211 That's why I want to lick it. 217 00:09:03,273 --> 00:09:04,713 Nobody's messing with this fish. 218 00:09:04,732 --> 00:09:06,290 We had a hard enough time 219 00:09:06,309 --> 00:09:07,808 getting it into the cooler without touching it. 220 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,719 Okay, Wayne. You're right. We shouldn't lick it. 221 00:09:10,780 --> 00:09:13,798 Oh, we should fast-track that buzz by putting it in our rears. 222 00:09:13,816 --> 00:09:15,908 You know, booty-chug that thing, dude. 223 00:09:16,077 --> 00:09:18,969 Oh, hell yeah! Let's keister that fish! 224 00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:20,638 No. No licking, no keistering. 225 00:09:20,698 --> 00:09:22,139 We're gonna follow the instructions 226 00:09:22,199 --> 00:09:24,475 and call the snakehead tip line... 227 00:09:24,577 --> 00:09:26,977 Hello? Snakehead tip line? This is Wayne Edwards. 228 00:09:27,038 --> 00:09:30,481 I have a snakehead, and if y'all don't pay us $20,000, 229 00:09:30,499 --> 00:09:32,240 -I'm-a set it free. -What?! What are you doing? 230 00:09:32,302 --> 00:09:34,985 It's the most wanted fish in North Carolina, man. 231 00:09:35,004 --> 00:09:37,671 People would pay us good money to not release this hostage. 232 00:09:37,824 --> 00:09:40,082 -It's a reverse ransom. -Terrible idea. 233 00:09:40,143 --> 00:09:42,584 Now give me... that... phone. 234 00:09:42,604 --> 00:09:43,936 -(Peter grunting) -WAYNE: The snakehead! 235 00:09:44,088 --> 00:09:46,939 Dang, that thing really can survive on land. 236 00:09:47,132 --> 00:09:49,275 I hate to be the I-told-you-so guy, 237 00:09:49,444 --> 00:09:51,185 but this whole thing could have been avoided 238 00:09:51,279 --> 00:09:53,187 if that fish was in my rear. 239 00:09:53,281 --> 00:09:56,282 Welp, looks like this fishing trip 240 00:09:56,475 --> 00:09:59,327 just turned into a hunting trip. 241 00:10:02,181 --> 00:10:04,272 Can't believe you're cursed. Lucky. 242 00:10:04,292 --> 00:10:05,866 Violet, what are you wearing? 243 00:10:06,002 --> 00:10:08,110 Well, you heard what Vohnnie said. I'm not a witch. 244 00:10:08,171 --> 00:10:09,945 I'm just a total boring normal. 245 00:10:09,964 --> 00:10:12,873 Might as well just go ahead and embrace my lame destiny. 246 00:10:13,009 --> 00:10:15,450 Meanwhile, in a minute, you'll probably have snakes 247 00:10:15,511 --> 00:10:17,619 crawling out of your earholes and stuff. 248 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:20,364 Violet, I'm not cursed. Curses aren't real. 249 00:10:20,424 --> 00:10:22,290 Ow! Who moved this table?! 250 00:10:22,393 --> 00:10:24,535 Hi, Jenny. You got a little surprise in the mail. 251 00:10:24,595 --> 00:10:27,538 Hmm. Okay. Now, would a cursed person get a nice surprise 252 00:10:27,598 --> 00:10:29,982 in the mail? I don't think so. 253 00:10:30,175 --> 00:10:31,725 You got jury duty. 254 00:10:31,819 --> 00:10:33,377 I thought you said it was a surprise. 255 00:10:33,479 --> 00:10:35,488 You seem surprised. 256 00:10:35,639 --> 00:10:37,639 When you're dancing with the devil, 257 00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:39,400 could you put in a bad word for me? 258 00:10:39,552 --> 00:10:41,719 See if you can get me some Carrie powers. 259 00:10:41,779 --> 00:10:43,554 There is no curse. 260 00:10:43,572 --> 00:10:45,739 Okay? I'm just having a bad day. 261 00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:48,075 -(whoosh) -Bad things happen to one person 262 00:10:48,211 --> 00:10:49,335 over and over again all the time. 263 00:10:49,528 --> 00:10:50,911 (chuckles): It's called life. 264 00:10:51,047 --> 00:10:52,246 -And when you're an adult... -Mom. 265 00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:53,488 ...life just starts to feel 266 00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:55,174 -like one big curse. -Mom. 267 00:10:55,367 --> 00:10:57,401 But you have to power through. 268 00:10:57,461 --> 00:10:59,011 -Mom, your bed's on fire! -(fire alarm beeping) 269 00:10:59,204 --> 00:11:00,738 Oh, my God! 270 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,998 I'm cursed. 271 00:11:03,059 --> 00:11:05,242 Why'd you have to use my phone? 272 00:11:05,344 --> 00:11:07,002 Now they're gonna trace the call and come after us. 273 00:11:07,063 --> 00:11:09,504 Oh, come on, Wayne. Holding this fish for ransom's 274 00:11:09,565 --> 00:11:11,339 gonna be way more fun than regular fishing. 275 00:11:11,401 --> 00:11:13,842 Doing ransom is not fun. 276 00:11:13,903 --> 00:11:15,436 Look, homeses. 277 00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:17,238 PETER: Let's grab it. 278 00:11:18,032 --> 00:11:20,607 Easy. Easy, now. 279 00:11:20,743 --> 00:11:22,076 Gotcha! 280 00:11:25,039 --> 00:11:27,448 Please, Wayne, I need your help. 281 00:11:27,542 --> 00:11:29,450 I need to get back to my home planet, 282 00:11:29,544 --> 00:11:33,546 Blockteetapolakatatee 7. 283 00:11:33,715 --> 00:11:35,881 And this is a real-life E.T. situation. 284 00:11:36,074 --> 00:11:37,550 SNAKEHEAD: No. 285 00:11:37,743 --> 00:11:40,294 E.T.s are my species' mortal enemy. 286 00:11:40,446 --> 00:11:42,947 Everyone thinks they're so cut, 287 00:11:43,007 --> 00:11:46,467 but they're actually a planet of serial fondlers. 288 00:11:46,561 --> 00:11:50,120 They fondle our nips and bits, Wayne. 289 00:11:50,181 --> 00:11:53,882 -What? -SNAKEHEAD: Oh, the things they do to us, Wayn. 290 00:11:53,943 --> 00:11:56,218 The inappropriate jokes, 291 00:11:56,279 --> 00:11:59,313 commenting on the size of our mucus sacs. 292 00:11:59,407 --> 00:12:02,408 We always have to say, "Our eyes are up here." 293 00:12:02,577 --> 00:12:04,134 And those light-up fingers? 294 00:12:04,195 --> 00:12:06,971 Oh, they put them everywhere. 295 00:12:07,072 --> 00:12:10,398 Everywhere, Wayne! 296 00:12:11,294 --> 00:12:13,586 Hold on. You're talking about that cute little dude 297 00:12:13,737 --> 00:12:15,329 in the Blossom hat that eats Reese's Pieces? 298 00:12:15,423 --> 00:12:20,150 What's cute on your planet is aggressively creepy on ours. 299 00:12:20,211 --> 00:12:21,910 So, what are you doing here? 300 00:12:22,847 --> 00:12:27,266 We need a new homeworld, and yours looks delicious. 301 00:12:27,459 --> 00:12:29,326 Pretty standard sci-fi stuff. 302 00:12:29,428 --> 00:12:31,345 -Wait, so you mean... -Ding, ding, ding. 303 00:12:31,481 --> 00:12:34,256 Winner, winner, human dinner. 304 00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:37,276 -No! No! -(snakehead laughs) 305 00:12:37,469 --> 00:12:41,614 (distorted): Wayne, you okay, man? 306 00:12:45,778 --> 00:12:47,361 Aw, it got away, homes. 307 00:12:47,455 --> 00:12:49,104 Wayne, are you all right? 308 00:12:49,207 --> 00:12:50,848 You fellas wanted to go fishing? 309 00:12:50,908 --> 00:12:52,774 -Not really, but okay. -Well... 310 00:12:53,744 --> 00:12:56,629 -We're going fishing. -PETER AND DOUG: Huh? 311 00:12:56,822 --> 00:12:58,947 Whoop, do you think there was any on my han... 312 00:12:59,008 --> 00:13:01,550 (distorted groan) 313 00:13:02,378 --> 00:13:04,286 What in the hell? 314 00:13:04,347 --> 00:13:05,971 This is it. The beginning of the end. 315 00:13:06,123 --> 00:13:08,474 I mean, who even knows if I'm gonna wake up tomorrow. 316 00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,142 None of this would have happened if you hadn't 317 00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:13,628 roped me into your phony-baloney psychic BS, Mother. 318 00:13:13,689 --> 00:13:15,130 Says the woman who thinks she's cursed. 319 00:13:15,149 --> 00:13:16,540 Well, what else could it be? 320 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:18,150 A row of sick crows diarrhea-ed on me. 321 00:13:18,343 --> 00:13:19,726 And I tried to play it off at the time, 322 00:13:19,879 --> 00:13:22,304 but that bird poo was very warm, which is gross. 323 00:13:22,406 --> 00:13:24,639 Then I broke my toe. And the crap cherry on top 324 00:13:24,742 --> 00:13:27,976 -was that I also got jury duty. -Wait, jury duty? 325 00:13:27,995 --> 00:13:29,887 Yeah. That's the one you want to focus on? 326 00:13:29,947 --> 00:13:31,980 Hello, Gram. Bed of fire? 327 00:13:31,999 --> 00:13:33,574 Well, I don't know if this helps or hurts, 328 00:13:33,709 --> 00:13:36,743 but I think the jury duty thing might be on me. 329 00:13:36,879 --> 00:13:40,655 How is it that I've gotten jury duty twice in three years 330 00:13:40,716 --> 00:13:43,325 and my daughter hasn't had to do it once? 331 00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:46,403 Huh, is that so? Well, I'll be sure to let them know. 332 00:13:46,463 --> 00:13:47,847 Why would you say that? Ow! 333 00:13:47,998 --> 00:13:49,740 That is the fifth time that has happened today. 334 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:53,243 Again, y'all, I don't know if this helps or hurts, 335 00:13:53,345 --> 00:13:55,245 but I think I caused your broken toe 336 00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:57,505 and probably that knee thing that just happened. 337 00:13:57,567 --> 00:14:00,918 -How? -To counteract the curse, I feng shui-ed the house 338 00:14:00,936 --> 00:14:03,696 and moved all the furniture over an inch and a half. 339 00:14:03,847 --> 00:14:05,347 Oh, and that bird poop? 340 00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,182 We might have another helps/hurts here. 341 00:14:07,201 --> 00:14:10,352 I may have spit my gum out and dropped a bunch of prunes, 342 00:14:10,413 --> 00:14:12,596 Jolly Ranchers and other purse items 343 00:14:12,615 --> 00:14:15,282 onto the sidewalk outside the psychic Vohnnie's house. 344 00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:18,043 -Why did you have all that? -Because she's insane. 345 00:14:18,195 --> 00:14:19,453 It doesn't matter. 346 00:14:19,547 --> 00:14:21,455 So, a few of those curse things were you, 347 00:14:21,607 --> 00:14:23,549 but there's no way you caused my bed to catch on fire. 348 00:14:23,742 --> 00:14:27,277 -No way, Jose. That one was all curse. -I was wrong. 349 00:14:27,338 --> 00:14:28,779 Curses aren't fun. 350 00:14:28,797 --> 00:14:30,705 They're horrifying. Aah! 351 00:14:30,766 --> 00:14:32,540 What the heck is that? 352 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,468 Gram, I don't know if this helps or hurts, 353 00:14:34,562 --> 00:14:36,954 but it looks like your crystal dream catcher 354 00:14:36,972 --> 00:14:38,472 is an Etsy death ray. 355 00:14:38,608 --> 00:14:40,807 Oh, great. I know what that means. 356 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,293 I'm the albatross around your neck. 357 00:14:43,354 --> 00:14:46,071 I'm the one who's been ruining your life. 358 00:14:46,264 --> 00:14:47,798 I'm the curse. 359 00:14:48,767 --> 00:14:51,076 Jenny, this is the part where you say 360 00:14:51,245 --> 00:14:53,579 I've never been a burden, I'm a great mom 361 00:14:53,730 --> 00:14:55,230 and every day is a gift. 362 00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:57,249 No. I'm starting to realize that all the bad things 363 00:14:57,401 --> 00:14:58,659 that have happened to me all these years 364 00:14:58,811 --> 00:15:00,160 are because of you. You're the curse. 365 00:15:00,254 --> 00:15:03,422 You're the dog poop and gum on my shoe. 366 00:15:05,909 --> 00:15:09,119 All right, soldiers. Stay frosty. 367 00:15:09,931 --> 00:15:12,839 I've been in its head. I know how it thinks. 368 00:15:12,975 --> 00:15:14,841 -Wayne is so cool now. -This is so not boring, homes. 369 00:15:14,977 --> 00:15:17,661 Whoa, whoa! Don't step there. 370 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,087 Trip wire. 371 00:15:19,148 --> 00:15:21,756 Nothing's getting in or out of here 372 00:15:21,776 --> 00:15:23,275 without us knowing it. 373 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:27,004 (distorted breathing) 374 00:15:27,064 --> 00:15:28,839 Shh! You hear that? 375 00:15:28,899 --> 00:15:31,099 It's in the trees. 376 00:15:31,118 --> 00:15:34,286 It's a fish. There's no way it's in the... (screaming) 377 00:15:34,438 --> 00:15:35,746 Don't let him lay his eggs in you! 378 00:15:36,907 --> 00:15:38,198 Ugh! 379 00:15:38,350 --> 00:15:40,517 -(hisses) -Hey! Hey! 380 00:15:40,577 --> 00:15:43,295 -It took the car keys. -Looks like our fishing trip 381 00:15:43,488 --> 00:15:45,205 that turned into a hunting trip 382 00:15:45,341 --> 00:15:48,008 just turned into a camping trip. 383 00:15:52,306 --> 00:15:54,122 So cold. So thirsty. 384 00:15:54,183 --> 00:15:56,216 Yeah, you're thirsty. 385 00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:58,385 But I bet I know who's thirstier. 386 00:15:58,479 --> 00:16:00,037 ♪ ♪ 387 00:16:00,097 --> 00:16:04,208 Snakehead! 388 00:16:04,268 --> 00:16:06,210 I know you can't breathe on land forever. 389 00:16:06,228 --> 00:16:08,212 I'm guessing you could really use 390 00:16:08,272 --> 00:16:09,989 a little H2O right now. 391 00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:11,806 All you got to do is come out 392 00:16:11,909 --> 00:16:14,326 -and get it. -(hisses) 393 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:18,739 (gasping) 394 00:16:18,874 --> 00:16:20,708 That's it. 395 00:16:21,877 --> 00:16:23,076 Gotcha! 396 00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:25,820 -(screams) -Wayne! 397 00:16:25,923 --> 00:16:27,989 -(thud) -Oh, man. 398 00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:30,300 He even died cool. 399 00:16:34,831 --> 00:16:38,742 Snakehead, time for you to phone home. 400 00:16:38,761 --> 00:16:42,187 -(Betty wails) -Gram, please stop packing. 401 00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:43,505 You are not moving out. 402 00:16:43,566 --> 00:16:45,249 Violet, you heard your mother. 403 00:16:45,309 --> 00:16:47,601 I am a curse on this family. 404 00:16:47,695 --> 00:16:51,271 I should have died on my death day. 405 00:16:51,423 --> 00:16:52,939 Mother, you're being ridiculous. 406 00:16:53,092 --> 00:16:55,350 Use my rolling suitcase. You can fit more crap in there. 407 00:16:55,369 --> 00:16:57,444 Mom, why are you encouraging her? 408 00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:59,145 Because she's a pain in my butt. 409 00:16:59,298 --> 00:17:01,431 She always has been, she always will be. 410 00:17:01,492 --> 00:17:04,268 Look, we drive each other crazy, so maybe we need a little break. 411 00:17:04,328 --> 00:17:05,936 Or a big one. 412 00:17:05,996 --> 00:17:07,546 -(sobbing) -Gram, 413 00:17:07,697 --> 00:17:09,273 don't you think it's a little melodramatic 414 00:17:09,374 --> 00:17:11,366 to storm out of a house that you own? 415 00:17:11,385 --> 00:17:13,052 Violet, hush. Stay out of this. 416 00:17:13,203 --> 00:17:14,628 Don't you yell at my grandbaby. 417 00:17:14,722 --> 00:17:16,538 -Mother, shut up. -Once I waltz out that door, 418 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,115 -she's all I got left. -Stop making this all about you. 419 00:17:18,175 --> 00:17:19,224 Look, we drive each other crazy... 420 00:17:19,376 --> 00:17:20,225 Don't you yell at my grandbaby. 421 00:17:20,418 --> 00:17:21,376 (overlapping arguing) 422 00:17:21,437 --> 00:17:24,121 Mother, you're being ridiculous. 423 00:17:25,257 --> 00:17:27,791 Mom, Gram, stop. I'm getting a vision. 424 00:17:27,810 --> 00:17:29,976 I know how to solve this. 425 00:17:30,071 --> 00:17:32,279 ♪ ♪ 426 00:17:36,410 --> 00:17:38,243 WAYNE: Mayor Webb! 427 00:17:38,412 --> 00:17:40,746 Did the snakehead tip line tell you about our call? 428 00:17:40,897 --> 00:17:43,640 Told me? I am the snakehead tip line. 429 00:17:43,751 --> 00:17:45,659 I'm also the anonymous illegal dumping tip line 430 00:17:45,811 --> 00:17:47,477 and the suicide hotline, 431 00:17:47,579 --> 00:17:49,421 but they're the same number, so whenever I answer the phone, 432 00:17:49,614 --> 00:17:52,091 I just say, "Don't throw it all away." 433 00:17:52,242 --> 00:17:54,818 It works for both. Well, anyway, 434 00:17:54,878 --> 00:17:56,837 -I have your 20 grand. -Forget about the money. 435 00:17:56,989 --> 00:17:58,430 We got to destroy this fish. 436 00:17:58,623 --> 00:18:00,157 And call the Marines, the Coast Guard 437 00:18:00,175 --> 00:18:01,433 and the Men in Blacks, 438 00:18:01,626 --> 00:18:03,160 'cause I got word there's more coming. 439 00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:05,104 More coming? 440 00:18:05,297 --> 00:18:07,231 (hissing) 441 00:18:08,109 --> 00:18:09,683 We're surrounded. 442 00:18:09,777 --> 00:18:10,851 ♪ ♪ 443 00:18:10,945 --> 00:18:15,197 ♪ Oh ♪ 444 00:18:16,492 --> 00:18:18,534 (scatting) 445 00:18:20,879 --> 00:18:23,697 ♪ Sea is neat, but land is grand ♪ 446 00:18:23,791 --> 00:18:26,291 ♪ Who needs the water when you've got sand? ♪ 447 00:18:26,443 --> 00:18:30,945 ♪ No thanks, gills, we've got the thrills of land ♪ 448 00:18:31,006 --> 00:18:32,631 (scatting) 449 00:18:36,494 --> 00:18:39,045 ♪ Underwater is just all wet ♪ 450 00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:41,807 ♪ So we became a double threat ♪ 451 00:18:41,958 --> 00:18:44,050 ♪ Terra firma ♪ 452 00:18:44,145 --> 00:18:46,553 ♪ Just got more squirma. ♪ 453 00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:48,796 Fellas. Fellas. 454 00:18:48,858 --> 00:18:50,874 Are you okay? 455 00:18:50,934 --> 00:18:52,376 (whimpering) 456 00:18:52,477 --> 00:18:55,970 Classic snakehead hallucination. 457 00:18:56,031 --> 00:18:58,973 The fish. The fish! Where is he? Did you get him? 458 00:18:58,993 --> 00:19:00,384 No, you did. 459 00:19:00,444 --> 00:19:02,661 -RUTH: You're a hero, Wayne. -(hissing) 460 00:19:02,812 --> 00:19:04,479 You passed out, but you never let go. 461 00:19:04,582 --> 00:19:07,407 What's gonna happen to the fish, homes? 462 00:19:07,501 --> 00:19:10,318 We'll return him to Asia, where he can start a new life 463 00:19:10,337 --> 00:19:12,504 with his family in his natural habitat. 464 00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:14,006 Ah! 465 00:19:17,127 --> 00:19:20,161 (air horn blares) 466 00:19:21,131 --> 00:19:23,073 BETTY: Violet, what is all this? 467 00:19:23,133 --> 00:19:25,242 The ceremony works best 468 00:19:25,344 --> 00:19:27,835 if we're close to the moon. 469 00:19:27,897 --> 00:19:29,246 Or whatever. 470 00:19:29,306 --> 00:19:32,082 -A séance? -It's the only way. 471 00:19:32,142 --> 00:19:34,008 "Spirits of the alternate realm, 472 00:19:34,111 --> 00:19:37,754 "we summon thee and ask of you this one simple favor. 473 00:19:37,814 --> 00:19:41,441 -Do not lift this curse." -Wait, wh-wh-wh-wh-what? 474 00:19:41,535 --> 00:19:45,095 Look, all daughters are driven crazy by their moms, 475 00:19:45,155 --> 00:19:46,538 and all mothers are driven crazy 476 00:19:46,707 --> 00:19:48,265 trying to protect their daughters. 477 00:19:48,283 --> 00:19:49,933 So, I'm not a curse on Jenny? 478 00:19:49,993 --> 00:19:52,527 Oh, no, you definitely are. And Mom's a curse to me. 479 00:19:52,588 --> 00:19:55,439 I mean, I've already inherited her stubbornness, 480 00:19:55,457 --> 00:19:57,607 just like she inherited your gullibility. 481 00:19:57,668 --> 00:20:00,444 And you are totally turning into Gram, but that's okay. 482 00:20:00,462 --> 00:20:03,296 Our quirks are annoying, but they shape who we are 483 00:20:03,449 --> 00:20:04,781 and connect us to each other. 484 00:20:04,841 --> 00:20:06,450 The important thing here 485 00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:10,136 is no matter what, we love each other to death. 486 00:20:10,231 --> 00:20:12,380 So, curse, do your worst. 487 00:20:12,441 --> 00:20:14,791 So I have said, so let it be done. 488 00:20:14,851 --> 00:20:15,809 -(thunder crashes) -(spits) 489 00:20:15,945 --> 00:20:16,977 So I have said, 490 00:20:17,112 --> 00:20:19,071 so let it be done. (spits) 491 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,740 -Great. I guess we're done here. -JENNY: Violet, 492 00:20:21,909 --> 00:20:23,075 spit in your hand now. 493 00:20:23,244 --> 00:20:26,136 (spits) So I have said, 494 00:20:26,196 --> 00:20:27,395 so let it be done. 495 00:20:27,456 --> 00:20:29,656 The Hart women have spoken. 496 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:30,974 -(whoops) -(gasps) 497 00:20:31,034 --> 00:20:32,233 Mother, watch it! 498 00:20:32,253 --> 00:20:33,735 -Mom, a spider web! Ew! -(Jenny yelps) 499 00:20:33,796 --> 00:20:36,421 -How did I get so blessed? -(grunting) 500 00:20:40,711 --> 00:20:42,210 Well, the good news is even though I was exposed 501 00:20:42,304 --> 00:20:43,929 to a boatload of toxic fish slime, 502 00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:45,264 the paramedics said my brain 503 00:20:45,457 --> 00:20:46,656 should be back to no time in normal. 504 00:20:46,675 --> 00:20:48,325 Speaking of danger, 505 00:20:48,343 --> 00:20:49,768 you fellas want to douse your pants in lighter fluid 506 00:20:49,961 --> 00:20:51,161 and jump over this fire? 507 00:20:51,221 --> 00:20:53,438 (snoring) 508 00:20:53,607 --> 00:20:55,590 Aw, I finally tuckered them out. (chuckles) 509 00:20:55,609 --> 00:20:57,442 What'd you girls get into this weekend? 510 00:20:57,635 --> 00:20:59,686 Oh, just some light occult stuff. 511 00:20:59,838 --> 00:21:02,506 You know, small family-based exorcism. 512 00:21:02,566 --> 00:21:06,785 Republic of Banana, I send thee to hell! 513 00:21:06,978 --> 00:21:08,845 Wow, they even burn boring. 514 00:21:08,947 --> 00:21:11,848 Jenny, I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble 515 00:21:11,867 --> 00:21:14,108 and will continue to do so till I'm dead. 516 00:21:14,169 --> 00:21:15,794 It's okay. And besides, 517 00:21:15,945 --> 00:21:17,612 I get to turn around and do it all to Violet, 518 00:21:17,715 --> 00:21:20,206 -so feel sorry for her. -So I am cursed. 519 00:21:20,301 --> 00:21:22,542 -Yes! -We all are, honey. 520 00:21:22,678 --> 00:21:24,678 We all are. 521 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,682 (scatting) 522 00:21:30,093 --> 00:21:31,885 -(meows) -(horn honks musically) 523 00:21:32,037 --> 00:21:34,037 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 524 00:21:34,097 --> 00:21:35,272 and TOYOTA.