1
00:00:04,150 --> 00:00:07,810
Oh, well, look.
Slim Jim over here's flirting.
2
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,960
Mother. I hate how you get
around truckers.
3
00:00:10,990 --> 00:00:13,440
Ooh, let's see
if I can get him to honk.
4
00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:16,460
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
5
00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:19,228
- Oh, no!
- Oh, Lord.
6
00:00:23,810 --> 00:00:26,940
I'm MayKay Bueller reporting
live from Highway 311
7
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,780
where an 18-wheeler
hauling Slim Jims turned over,
8
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,360
shutting down the highway
for hours.
9
00:00:33,420 --> 00:00:34,860
Several injuries
have been reported
10
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,860
as fights broke out
over the errant Jims.
11
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,380
With me are
a mother and daughter
12
00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:42,120
who narrowly escaped
the Jim Jam.
13
00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:43,980
Just speak right
into this top part right here.
14
00:00:44,004 --> 00:00:45,810
- Here we are.
- We were driving down 311
15
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,390
with all of our feet
in the car, obviously,
16
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:50,890
and all of a sudden
there was a huge crash.
17
00:00:50,980 --> 00:00:52,890
That trucker
must've gotten distracted.
18
00:00:52,990 --> 00:00:56,150
Probably caught sight
of a beautiful woman.
19
00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,631
"Local Grandma"?
What in the hell?!
20
00:00:59,666 --> 00:01:02,890
♪ Somebody's gonna pay
with their life! ♪
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00:01:29,915 --> 00:01:32,753
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
22
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,350
The squeegee man has returned.
23
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,620
Wayne, stop.
24
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,860
They hired you to wash
the windows at that high-rise,
25
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:45,620
- not my butt.
- Should I go?
26
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,860
I can't tell
if this is romantic or not.
27
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:49,880
Okay, y'all, I need you
to be serious for a minute.
28
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:51,420
When Mother comes in
for breakfast,
29
00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:53,630
she's gonna be all weird,
so go easy on her.
30
00:01:53,690 --> 00:01:56,220
She's taking this "local
grandma" thing really hard.
31
00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,900
Uh-oh.
32
00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:04,380
Psych! Who's that teenager
that just walked in?
33
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:05,640
Oh, it's me.
34
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:07,640
Instasnap. Chatgram.
35
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:10,220
LOL. I am triggered.
36
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:12,070
Oh, Mother, you look amazing.
37
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:13,830
You never looked
more beautiful, Betty.
38
00:02:14,020 --> 00:02:16,650
I hope this is the outfit
that you one day haunt me in.
39
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:20,250
Can you believe my Miss Teen
Tobacco leaf gown still fits?
40
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,900
Hell yeah, Betty.
You didn't cause a 15-car pile-up
41
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,157
'cause you look
like some old-ass grandma.
42
00:02:25,192 --> 00:02:27,990
No duh.
That trucker was looking over
43
00:02:27,991 --> 00:02:29,590
at me like I was Claudia Swiffer.
44
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,910
Yeah, Gram. You look great for 60.
45
00:02:32,010 --> 00:02:35,690
Oh, Violet.
Run, baby, run.
46
00:02:38,310 --> 00:02:40,930
- How old is she?
- No one knows.
47
00:02:41,090 --> 00:02:43,820
She hole-punched the date
out of her driver's license.
48
00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:51,180
Look at those rich butts and
their untouched bread basket.
49
00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:54,540
What kind of evil bitch
doesn't eat a free roll?
50
00:02:54,690 --> 00:02:56,190
Doo, doo-doo-doo.
51
00:02:56,290 --> 00:02:59,030
Y'all better straighten up
and act like somebody,
52
00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:02,710
because those
are the Ladies of Greenpoint.
53
00:03:02,910 --> 00:03:06,110
Yes, they are community VIPs.
54
00:03:06,130 --> 00:03:07,965
They adopt highways,
55
00:03:07,966 --> 00:03:09,800
they do soup kitchens
56
00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:13,390
and they give gently used
sweater sets to homeless people.
57
00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:14,780
Excuse me.
58
00:03:14,804 --> 00:03:16,904
Hello?
59
00:03:21,570 --> 00:03:23,741
Hell no.
I hate being snapped at.
60
00:03:23,776 --> 00:03:27,480
Uh-oh. Looks like someone
just ordered a Filet-O-Fist.
61
00:03:27,570 --> 00:03:29,980
I'll handle these high-society
cooter clamps.
62
00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:31,730
Okay, we have a Cobb salad,
no cheese, no meat, no egg.
63
00:03:31,790 --> 00:03:34,390
The chicken Caesar, hold
the chicken, hold the Caesar.
64
00:03:34,460 --> 00:03:35,740
Grilled shrimp salad, no shrimp.
65
00:03:35,764 --> 00:03:37,810
And a BLT,
hold the B, T and bread.
66
00:03:37,830 --> 00:03:40,140
And a side of 24 lemon wedges.
67
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,480
Oh, what attention to detail.
68
00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:45,240
Usually we have to send our
orders back six or seven times,
69
00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,150
and she just nailed it.
70
00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:49,130
Wait, I know you.
You're Betty Hart's daughter.
71
00:03:49,154 --> 00:03:51,778
Don't tell me.
Genevieve, uh, Juniper?
72
00:03:51,813 --> 00:03:53,280
- It's Jenny.
- Jennifer. Right.
73
00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:55,870
I'm Marjune Culpepper,
your mother's friend.
74
00:03:55,970 --> 00:03:58,870
Ladies, you don't know this, but
Jennifer's mother Betty and I
75
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,370
shared a lover.
76
00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:03,540
- I'll have what she's having.
- Randy.
77
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,790
Betty was courted by my beloved
late husband Morris.
78
00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:10,140
And later in life,
I, too, caught Betty fever.
79
00:04:11,110 --> 00:04:13,900
So, more waters?
80
00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:17,300
Ladies, I just had one
of my classic wonderful ideas.
81
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,240
Jennifer should be the food
and beverage coordinator
82
00:04:20,410 --> 00:04:22,833
- for our annual charity gala.
- Yes.
83
00:04:22,868 --> 00:04:24,490
- I agree.
- Of course!
84
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,428
Um, I don't know.
85
00:04:26,463 --> 00:04:28,990
Been so busy here working
doubles, so I-I don't think so.
86
00:04:29,090 --> 00:04:31,160
And the pay is hardly
worth mentioning.
87
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,070
- Well, then definitely no.
- $250.
88
00:04:33,130 --> 00:04:34,180
I'll do it.
89
00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:42,450
Wayne, I can't believe your job
90
00:04:42,510 --> 00:04:44,470
is literally looking
in people's windows.
91
00:04:44,610 --> 00:04:48,640
- It's the best thing ever.
- Well, my job is washing windows.
92
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,810
But, Wayne, you get to see
people in their homes
93
00:04:50,910 --> 00:04:52,810
when they don't know
they're being watched.
94
00:04:52,910 --> 00:04:55,240
It's literally a window
into their lives.
95
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,730
Wayne, you have to let me
come with you. Please?
96
00:04:58,790 --> 00:05:01,900
- No, absolutely not.
- Boo.
97
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:05,240
Nope. I don't care how mad
you get, it's too dangerous.
98
00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:07,900
"Oh, you never
let me do anything."
99
00:05:07,970 --> 00:05:09,930
"Violet, I'm just looking
out for you." Door slam.
100
00:05:09,970 --> 00:05:11,770
"Peanut, get out of there.
It's been two days.
101
00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:13,310
You got to eat."
Breaks down the door.
102
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,840
She ran away.
"Jenny, I tried."
103
00:05:15,990 --> 00:05:18,170
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, you can come with.
104
00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:21,660
- What was that?
- I gamed it out in my mind, and you won.
105
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,260
- Well played.
- Okay. Yes, cool.
106
00:05:24,295 --> 00:05:26,270
Can we also stop
and get frozen yogurt?
107
00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,440
No. We're not getting yogurt.
108
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,350
"Wayne, you're no fun."
109
00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:33,860
"What? I'm the most fun."
"You're not my real dad."
110
00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:35,930
"Why'd you have
to take it to that place?
111
00:05:35,980 --> 00:05:37,660
Violet, come back.
Those are train tracks."
112
00:05:38,870 --> 00:05:41,873
"No! Jenny, I tried."
113
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,710
- Yogurt it is!
- Good Lord.
114
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,210
Welcome, Ladies of Greenpoint.
115
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:54,030
This year,
we are going to tackle
116
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,710
one of the most
debilitating conditions
117
00:05:55,810 --> 00:05:59,380
facing women around the globe:
female age.
118
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,370
- Tragic. - That is so sad.
- There has to be another way.
119
00:06:02,390 --> 00:06:03,790
Female age is deadly
120
00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:06,800
and affects 100%
of the female population.
121
00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:10,470
- Oh, you mean, just getting old?
- Hush. This is important.
122
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:12,390
It starts
with a single gray hair.
123
00:06:12,490 --> 00:06:15,560
And suddenly,
you are completely invisible.
124
00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:17,100
No one holding a door for you,
125
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,980
no one offering
to buy you a drink,
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00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:20,890
no one giving you
the elevator eyes.
127
00:06:20,950 --> 00:06:22,830
- No!
- This is a charity?
128
00:06:23,020 --> 00:06:24,670
Crow's feet. Flopjaw.
129
00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:25,999
Raisin knees.
130
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,590
Forearm crepe.
131
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,840
Minotaur haunch.
Loss of profile.
132
00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:32,170
Sleeve Kleenex.
Toe jumble.
133
00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:34,100
Taffy lobes.
Nest hair.
134
00:06:34,130 --> 00:06:36,250
Horse gums. And...
neck rings.
135
00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:39,070
Statement jewelry
can only work so hard.
136
00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:40,680
Am I right, ladies?
137
00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:42,740
What can be done?
138
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,330
Sadly, there is no cure.
139
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,470
But the symptoms can be managed,
140
00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:48,540
through cosmetic surgery,
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00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,470
creams, slimes and foreskins.
142
00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:52,880
This year, our annual gala
143
00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:55,550
is dedicated to helping
low-income sufferers
144
00:06:55,570 --> 00:06:57,550
get the procedures
they so desperately need.
145
00:06:57,610 --> 00:07:01,150
Wait, this is for poor people
to get plastic surgery?
146
00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:04,480
Y'all, I'm exactly
who this charity is meant for.
147
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:05,990
I got to shake my buns
148
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,580
and get me some
of those charity procedures.
149
00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:11,400
- Marjune!
- Oh, hello, Betty.
150
00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:15,660
Oh, you two,
thank you for coming.
151
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,420
It is so nice to have some
new faces around here.
152
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,590
Speaking of new faces,
153
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,850
how might I get one?
154
00:07:23,050 --> 00:07:25,520
Oh, Betty, I don't think
you need a thing.
155
00:07:25,670 --> 00:07:27,270
Marjune, look at my face.
156
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:31,010
These are the crow's feet
of a local grandma. Please!
157
00:07:31,070 --> 00:07:33,090
You know what,
my little cigarillo?
158
00:07:33,150 --> 00:07:36,030
You just shot to the top
of the Female Age Relief List.
159
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:39,040
And that's how you do that.
160
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,540
This is some ridiculous rich-butt crap.
161
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,450
$250 is not worth my soul.
162
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:48,550
Oh, Jennifer, I almost forgot.
Here's the 250 I owe you.
163
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:54,370
- Marjune, these are all ten-dollar bills.
- Yes, 250 ten-dollar bills.
164
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:57,780
That's $2,500.
Shouldn't these be ones?
165
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:01,470
They stopped making
one-dollar bills years ago.
166
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,730
Bye-bye, soul.
167
00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:12,660
So we still on for margs
and nachos at Slusheritos?
168
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,590
It's what I live for... getting
slushed with my best Frenda.
169
00:08:15,650 --> 00:08:18,310
What the hell?
Jenny, did you rob a bank
170
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,000
and not bring me with?
171
00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,840
You know that's
on my bucket list.
172
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:24,600
No, it's my pay from the Ladies
of Greenpoint thing I'm doing.
173
00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:27,530
Bunch of rich finger-snappers.
174
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,880
You know what, Brenda, you're
gonna get in on this, too.
175
00:08:29,904 --> 00:08:32,030
- You're coming to the gala!
- I don't think so.
176
00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:34,200
There's gonna be a prime rib
carving station.
177
00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:36,370
The orange heat lamp,
the wood block,
178
00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:39,215
the husky man in the tall
white hat with a big smile
179
00:08:39,216 --> 00:08:42,040
- and a generous knife.
- Don't try to use my love
180
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:44,210
of freshly carved meat
to manipulate me.
181
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:45,970
Sorry, it's done.
I'm putting your name
182
00:08:46,140 --> 00:08:48,510
- on the list for the gala.
- Whatever, dude.
183
00:08:51,140 --> 00:08:52,700
I don't know
why Brenda's so mad.
184
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,200
Come on, Jenny, do the math.
185
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,550
The Ladies of Greenpoint
are the cool kids.
186
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:58,670
You and Brenda were
best friends in middle school,
187
00:08:58,694 --> 00:08:59,867
but now it's high school,
188
00:08:59,868 --> 00:09:02,640
and you just got picked
for J.V. cheerleading.
189
00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:04,700
Jesus, have you been binging
coming-of-age movies?
190
00:09:04,740 --> 00:09:06,730
Brenda just doesn't want
this new relationship
191
00:09:06,870 --> 00:09:08,380
to affect your friendship.
192
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,200
Like in Pretty in Pink
when Andie fell in love
193
00:09:10,224 --> 00:09:11,810
with that rich guy
and ignored Duckie?
194
00:09:11,870 --> 00:09:14,480
Or in Mean Girls when Cady said
she was gonna infiltrate
195
00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:16,830
the Queen Bees,
but instead became one of them?
196
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,320
Working for a bunch
of rich ladies
197
00:09:18,344 --> 00:09:19,820
isn't gonna change who I am.
198
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,150
♪ I'm still, I'm still
Jenny from the block. ♪
199
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:24,160
Hey, you know, I gave J.Lo
the idea for that song.
200
00:09:24,180 --> 00:09:27,090
- You did?
- Yeah, I give everyone their ideas for their songs.
201
00:09:27,180 --> 00:09:29,590
Well, me and cocaine,
but it's mostly me.
202
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:33,240
Oh, funny story, Eric Clapton's
"Cocaine"... that was me.
203
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,330
But "Jesus Is Just Alright
with Me"?
204
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,340
- Cocaine?
- Yep, so much cocaine.
205
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,190
Jennifer!
206
00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:43,100
♪ ♪
207
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,690
Sure your friend is still coming?
208
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:46,030
Her Slusherito is separating.
209
00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:50,200
Dump it back in for another
spin. She'll be here.
210
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:53,870
♪ I'm in control ♪
211
00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:55,740
- ♪ My worries are few ♪
212
00:09:55,764 --> 00:09:58,960
♪ 'Cause I got love
like I never knew ♪
213
00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:01,770
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh ♪
214
00:10:01,830 --> 00:10:05,260
♪ I got a new attitude ♪
215
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,630
♪ I'm wearing a new dress ♪
216
00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:13,450
♪ New hat ♪
217
00:10:13,470 --> 00:10:15,800
♪ Brand-new ideals
as a matter of fact ♪
218
00:10:15,890 --> 00:10:19,800
♪ I've changed for good ♪
219
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:22,790
♪ ♪
220
00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:26,290
♪ It must have been
the cool night, new moon ♪
221
00:10:26,310 --> 00:10:28,740
♪ Slight change or that look ♪
222
00:10:28,930 --> 00:10:33,990
- ♪ In your eye that makes me... ♪
- Ah, what have we here?
223
00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:35,800
What? That's just
a nice old lady.
224
00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:37,540
That's what she
wants you to think.
225
00:10:37,564 --> 00:10:39,070
Look how bowlegged she is.
226
00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:42,090
She obviously used to ride horses.
Or no, wait.
227
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,760
- Motorcycles.
- That lady?
228
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,170
No way.
229
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,170
Dang! That is incredible.
230
00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:51,260
- You were dead-on, Violet.
- Let's do another one.
231
00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:53,250
Oh, oh, oh, let me do this one!
232
00:10:53,310 --> 00:10:55,670
Okay, this guy
is clearly on death row,
233
00:10:55,770 --> 00:10:58,160
and-and-and he's
having his last meal.
234
00:10:58,220 --> 00:11:00,250
How is he on death row
in a condo?
235
00:11:00,310 --> 00:11:02,680
Maybe it's house arrest
death row?
236
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:05,030
Like they'll come to get him
when it's time to kill him?
237
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:07,090
I'm not as good
at this as you are.
238
00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:09,100
Wayne, look at his mawashi.
239
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,100
He is clearly training
to be a sumo wrestler.
240
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,770
Whoa!
Violet, you are a genius at this.
241
00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:17,850
Wayne, stop!
Wigs... clearly this one
242
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,530
is a master of disguise.
243
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,560
Or maybe it's just a lady
who likes to have fun,
244
00:11:21,584 --> 00:11:24,454
but doesn't want to spend
too much time getting ready.
245
00:11:26,490 --> 00:11:28,950
Whoa! Now this is interesting.
246
00:11:29,010 --> 00:11:31,530
Right?
A stay-at-home jeweler.
247
00:11:31,540 --> 00:11:34,710
No! He's a James Bond-level
international jewel thief,
248
00:11:34,810 --> 00:11:36,790
who can slip in
and out of a room unnoticed.
249
00:11:36,850 --> 00:11:38,850
Don't know why he's slumming it
here in Greenpoint.
250
00:11:38,874 --> 00:11:41,050
He usually works
out of Monaco or St. Barths.
251
00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:44,514
- Also, he's allergic to shellfish.
- Hmm?
252
00:11:44,549 --> 00:11:46,610
Go, go, go!
253
00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:52,260
Brenda, what are you
doing in here?
254
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,350
There's no reason to come out.
I hate waiting tables.
255
00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:58,100
The only reason I even come here
is to be with my friend,
256
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,010
but she doesn't
work here anymore.
257
00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:02,100
She's been replaced
by a straight-haired,
258
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,600
hoity-toity hooker
259
00:12:03,660 --> 00:12:05,120
with a cold, dead heart.
260
00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:07,290
Brenda, that's not fair.
I'm sorry I had to bail
261
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,200
on Slusheritos,
but I'm not a hooker.
262
00:12:09,350 --> 00:12:11,390
You are doing things you don't
want to do for money.
263
00:12:11,414 --> 00:12:14,130
But it's a lot of money.
And also, it just feels so good
264
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:17,190
to be in with the créme
de la créme of Greenpoint.
265
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:19,450
You know, just like
Dirty Dancing when Baby
266
00:12:19,550 --> 00:12:22,210
is finally accepted by
Johnny Castle and his friends.
267
00:12:22,310 --> 00:12:24,140
But they were the scuzzbags
in that situation.
268
00:12:24,290 --> 00:12:25,550
Your analogy doesn't work.
269
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,390
Some of them are
actually kind of nice.
270
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,460
Oh, there's this one girl you
would love, her name's Kirkie...
271
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,150
What?! I cannot be friends
272
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:35,150
with someone who is friends
with a Kirkie!
273
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,550
So just 'cause I'm working
my butt off to make
274
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:39,550
a little extra money,
we're not friends anymore?
275
00:12:39,610 --> 00:12:41,880
I guess not,
'cause my friends show up.
276
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:43,540
Oh, come on, just come
to the gala with me
277
00:12:43,564 --> 00:12:44,564
and get to know them.
278
00:12:44,565 --> 00:12:46,750
- I swear you'll have fun.
- Not!
279
00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:48,790
Seriously?
280
00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:55,230
Oh! So you're the
Female Age Grant recipient?
281
00:12:55,290 --> 00:12:58,400
- In the soon to be tightened flesh.
- Congratulations.
282
00:12:58,460 --> 00:13:01,340
Okay, let's see what
we're working with here.
283
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,240
Right, so we'll tighten
this... boo-boo-boo.
284
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:04,500
Plump this... bop-bop-bop.
285
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,330
Move this... scoochie-scoochie.
286
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:07,990
Lift this... scooby-doobie,
tuck and roll.
287
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,500
Injection... squank,
zip, zap, zop and we're done.
288
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:12,260
And remember,
no eating or drinking
289
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,750
- before the procedure tomorrow.
- Oh, no.
290
00:13:14,770 --> 00:13:18,040
But tonight's the gala.
Okay, I'll make you a deal...
291
00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:19,510
I won't eat or drink tonight,
292
00:13:19,570 --> 00:13:22,420
and you throw in a little
sprucing of my lady bouquet.
293
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:23,930
I don't know what that means.
294
00:13:23,990 --> 00:13:26,590
You know, a little pressure
wash of my fun zone.
295
00:13:26,610 --> 00:13:28,170
Okay, I lied.
I do know what that means.
296
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:29,840
I just wanted to end
this conversation.
297
00:13:31,730 --> 00:13:34,380
All right, y'all,
welcome to my labor of love.
298
00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:35,950
Ta-da!
299
00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:40,110
Whoa, Mom, this is the fanciest
thing I've ever seen.
300
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:42,390
Mmm, Mama could get
used to this.
301
00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:43,540
Great job, Jenny.
302
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,720
- And, wow, you look beautiful. Mmm...
- Careful! Don't mash the hair.
303
00:13:46,890 --> 00:13:48,390
Fresh blowout. Kirkie!
304
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,890
Uh, what did any
of those words mean?
305
00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:54,140
Maybe "Kirkie" is rich-person
talk for "hello"?
306
00:13:54,270 --> 00:13:56,400
Y'all, would you look
at that buffet.
307
00:13:56,590 --> 00:13:58,640
It's like a Shoney's
for the Queen of England.
308
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,960
And I can't touch it because
of my damn surgery tomorrow.
309
00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:03,630
Lord, give me strength!
310
00:14:03,650 --> 00:14:06,820
Waiter, just pour me
a glass of ice...
311
00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:08,910
w-w-water.
312
00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:12,070
Wayne, look!
313
00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:13,660
- Oh, no.
- What the heck
314
00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:15,490
is that stay-at-home
jeweler doing here?
315
00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:17,480
Not that I'm scared.
I'm just asking.
316
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:20,590
Look at all these rich ladies
wearing all their finest jewels.
317
00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:22,570
Wayne, come on.
We got to track him.
318
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:25,200
No way, Vi. We're not following some
319
00:14:25,201 --> 00:14:27,760
stranger around at your mother's party.
320
00:14:28,930 --> 00:14:30,320
"But, Wayne..."
321
00:14:30,390 --> 00:14:31,870
"Come on, Violet,
don't be like that."
322
00:14:31,894 --> 00:14:32,990
Icy ride home.
323
00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:34,770
"Violet, why won't you
put on your seat belt?
324
00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:37,090
What are those headlights?"
Truck coming at us head-on.
325
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,840
"Violet. Violet, say something.
Anything."
326
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,930
"Jenny, I tried."
Okay, let's tail him.
327
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:47,330
- I got some walkie-talkies in my truck.
- Yes!
328
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,120
Jennifer, we have just been
blown away
329
00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:53,700
by all the amazing work
you've done.
330
00:14:53,790 --> 00:14:55,520
And so we'd like to
formally invite you
331
00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:58,110
to become a Lady of Greenpoint.
332
00:14:58,170 --> 00:15:00,460
Care to join our little
band of sisters?
333
00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:03,050
Really? Me?
334
00:15:04,540 --> 00:15:06,620
Brenda! Oh, Brenda.
335
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,790
Can we put my friend
on the list? Brenda Clemmons?
336
00:15:08,810 --> 00:15:11,880
I don't think she's really
our type of people.
337
00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:17,602
- I'm sorry, all the tables are full.
- Okay, um...
338
00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:20,710
Jenny. Holy crap,
is this Vanna White's house?
339
00:15:20,730 --> 00:15:23,150
Brenda, I thought you said
you weren't coming.
340
00:15:23,350 --> 00:15:25,490
Aw, you look so nice.
341
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,140
Aw, I can't stay mad
at you, Jenny. You know that.
342
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,810
Now point me towards
that prime rib station.
343
00:15:31,870 --> 00:15:33,390
Oh, Brenda, I'm so sorry.
344
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:37,730
Um, there's been a mix-up,
uh, with the seating...
345
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:43,710
Oh, I get it.
That's, uh, finger-snapper speak
346
00:15:43,711 --> 00:15:45,250
for "They don't want me here."
347
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,750
Which is perfect,
'cause, uh, this is a prank.
348
00:15:47,850 --> 00:15:50,180
Boom, bitches.
349
00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:52,160
I wish y'all could see
the ding-dong looks
350
00:15:52,230 --> 00:15:56,190
- on your idiot, pranked faces.
- Brenda!
351
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,870
If we're really gonna do this,
we're gonna do it right.
352
00:16:03,890 --> 00:16:05,720
I have experience
in tracking people.
353
00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:09,150
Remember,
I was a security guard at Belks.
354
00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:12,300
If he makes even one move
for the door,
355
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,140
- I'll tackle him.
- You're not tackling that adult man.
356
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,050
No, I'm for sure
gonna tackle him.
357
00:16:17,070 --> 00:16:19,700
This might be my only chance
to tackle somebody. There he is.
358
00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:21,660
I'm going over. You stay here.
359
00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:25,560
- No tackling.
- But I feel a tackle coming on.
360
00:16:30,870 --> 00:16:32,900
I think I really screwed
something up with Brenda.
361
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,900
Can't talk now.
I'm tailing a jewel thief.
362
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,420
She thinks I'm a different
person, but I'm not.
363
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,220
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
- I didn't get her into the gala,
364
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:40,820
but she said
she didn't want to come.
365
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,580
Oh, my God.
He's gonna go for it.
366
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,500
This guy just wants
to get tackled so bad.
367
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:46,990
I'm just doing this
for the money.
368
00:16:47,010 --> 00:16:48,340
It's not like I'm one of them.
369
00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:49,970
Even though this pin
is really pretty.
370
00:16:49,994 --> 00:16:52,239
- You think this is rose gold?
- Oh, no. He's coming over here.
371
00:16:52,274 --> 00:16:53,180
Pretend we're having a conversation.
372
00:16:53,330 --> 00:16:54,890
I thought we were
having a conversation.
373
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:57,500
Oh, yes, Mom.
Exactly what you just said.
374
00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,000
It's funny 'cause it's true.
375
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:02,000
Okay, whatever, Violet.
376
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,700
I can't feel guilty
about Brenda right now.
377
00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:04,920
I have a frickin' job to do.
378
00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:07,080
Wayne, I lost him.
379
00:17:07,140 --> 00:17:08,750
Wayne, do you copy?
380
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:11,090
Wayne?
381
00:17:11,110 --> 00:17:14,090
- What are you doing?
- I didn't lose him. He's right there.
382
00:17:14,110 --> 00:17:16,590
I'm on him like sunblock
on Julianne Moore.
383
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,100
Oh, where'd he go?
384
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,370
Oh, God, oh, God.
385
00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:24,860
Betty, I know you can't tell
because my face
386
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,960
looks so frozen and wet,
but I'm worried.
387
00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:30,620
- Where is your light?
- My light ran out of batteries,
388
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,130
- and my batteries are crab legs.
- What?
389
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,870
I just got to get that surgery
over with tomorrow,
390
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:39,210
and then I can chow down
with my new young face.
391
00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:43,140
Betty, a youthful appearance
requires continual sacrifice.
392
00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:44,730
During your gruesome recovery,
393
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,220
you'll only be able to drink
broth through a straw.
394
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:50,220
And once you're healed, you will
be addicted to pain killers.
395
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,720
But the good news is they'll
keep your appetite at bay.
396
00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:55,790
Betty, I haven't been in
the sun or eaten anything
397
00:17:55,814 --> 00:17:58,230
other than dry salads
for 25 years.
398
00:17:58,290 --> 00:18:00,580
Tomorrow is only the beginning.
399
00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:03,730
You know what?
400
00:18:03,790 --> 00:18:07,920
I think I know an easier way
to fix this face.
401
00:18:09,090 --> 00:18:11,970
Smoked Gouda.
Sheer heaven.
402
00:18:13,090 --> 00:18:14,170
Perfect.
403
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,820
Yep. Surgery's off.
404
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,720
- Thanks anyway, Marjune.
- Betty, you're right.
405
00:18:17,770 --> 00:18:20,990
I love seeing that cheese
give you so much pleasure.
406
00:18:21,050 --> 00:18:26,440
- May I feed you?
- Uh, I-I guess.
407
00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:36,020
Okay, this is taking too long.
I got food to eat.
408
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:41,100
We have got
a very special surprise guest
409
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,960
to kick off tonight's gala.
410
00:18:43,150 --> 00:18:46,700
Please put your hands together
for Patti LaBelle impersonator
411
00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:48,610
Julie Vous Coucher.
412
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:51,130
Where are my backup singers?
413
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,860
Oh, my God. It's him.
414
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,140
♪ Running hot, running cold ♪
415
00:18:57,330 --> 00:18:59,640
♪ I was running into overload ♪
416
00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:02,460
♪ I got a new attitude... ♪
417
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:06,440
- That's what all the jewels were for.
- Of course.
418
00:19:08,170 --> 00:19:11,560
Oh, what? There's supposed
to be champagne glasses here.
419
00:19:11,690 --> 00:19:13,380
Can we get
some champagne flutes here?
420
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,249
The stemmed glasses. Hello?
421
00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:17,820
I can't believe it.
I'm putting two fingers together
422
00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:19,420
and snapping
at another human being.
423
00:19:19,490 --> 00:19:21,276
I'm still doing it.
Stop it, Jenny!
424
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:24,890
I'd like all the Ladies of
Greenpoint to come up on stage.
425
00:19:26,210 --> 00:19:29,480
And I'd like everyone to give
an especially warm welcome
426
00:19:29,550 --> 00:19:31,320
to our newest member
Jennifer Hart.
427
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:37,890
It's Jenny.
My friends call me Jenny.
428
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,720
And I'd like to take
this moment to say
429
00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:43,240
that I am officially resigning
from the Ladies of Greenpoint.
430
00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:45,820
Y'all are so cool and so
glamorous, but you know what?
431
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,500
This isn't for me.
432
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:50,580
I mean, i-it was great to be
asked into the popular group
433
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,580
like a beautiful nerd
in a teen movie,
434
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:54,680
but now I have put
my glasses back on,
435
00:19:54,850 --> 00:19:58,330
and I can see that this
fundraiser is kind of a joke.
436
00:19:58,390 --> 00:20:00,070
Female age?
437
00:20:00,130 --> 00:20:02,240
This money should be
going to climate change
438
00:20:02,340 --> 00:20:05,492
or-or public schools.
But, honestly,
439
00:20:05,527 --> 00:20:07,600
I'm the one who hasn't
been very charitable,
440
00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:09,920
to my best friend Brenda.
441
00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:11,600
And I let her down big-time.
442
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:13,940
I only wish she was here
so I could give her
443
00:20:14,090 --> 00:20:16,420
the dramatic public apology
she deserves.
444
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:17,930
Oh, I'm here.
445
00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,980
Security guards at these things
446
00:20:20,004 --> 00:20:24,540
- are notoriously seducible.
- There she is!
447
00:20:24,730 --> 00:20:26,100
Okay, y'all.
You see that woman,
448
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:27,920
climbing out from under
the prime rib station,
449
00:20:27,944 --> 00:20:31,200
looking all gorgeous?
She would kill for me.
450
00:20:31,220 --> 00:20:33,120
And I mean it, y'all.
First degree murder.
451
00:20:33,220 --> 00:20:35,460
And she'd never tell me,
because she wouldn't want me
452
00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:37,110
to be an accessory
after the fact.
453
00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:39,950
Now I'm gonna have
the time of my life,
454
00:20:40,010 --> 00:20:44,365
and I owe it all to you, Brenda.
455
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:48,400
♪ ♪
456
00:20:50,230 --> 00:20:51,720
What's happening,
what's happening?
457
00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:53,620
- I'm falling forward.
- Use your core!
458
00:20:53,644 --> 00:20:55,959
Come on!
459
00:20:59,830 --> 00:21:02,170
Whoa, Jenny.
460
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,320
Thank you for the double
Diamondschlager Slusherito.
461
00:21:05,380 --> 00:21:07,170
You got it, girl.
462
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,480
This friendship is worth
its weight in Diamondschlager.
463
00:21:09,504 --> 00:21:11,740
Julie Vous Coucher
was a thief, kind of.
464
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:12,990
In that he stole my heart
465
00:21:13,060 --> 00:21:16,350
doing the duet
"On My Own" on his own.
466
00:21:16,540 --> 00:21:18,000
A Patti LaBelle impersonator.
467
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:20,520
How could I have been
so violently off?
468
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,840
♪ Are few, 'cause I got love ♪
469
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:27,750
♪ Like I never knew ♪
470
00:21:27,810 --> 00:21:30,860
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh... ♪
471
00:21:32,444 --> 00:21:35,054
sync & correction by f1nc0
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