1 00:00:02,271 --> 00:00:04,375 (truck's reverse warning signal beeping) 2 00:00:04,442 --> 00:00:06,112 Huh? (grunts) 3 00:00:06,179 --> 00:00:09,218 Anderson, party of four, your table's ready. 4 00:00:09,285 --> 00:00:10,220 Ander... Oh! 5 00:00:10,287 --> 00:00:11,857 Hear ye, hear ye. 6 00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:14,128 Big news is afoot, my babies. 7 00:00:14,195 --> 00:00:15,230 CUSTOMER: Shut up, Randy! 8 00:00:15,297 --> 00:00:16,767 Ha‐ha! 9 00:00:16,834 --> 00:00:21,109 They're building a Lord Lobster on the 311 bypass. 10 00:00:21,175 --> 00:00:23,380 And so it is written. 11 00:00:23,446 --> 00:00:25,384 - (grunts) - Ooh! Lord Lobster? 12 00:00:25,450 --> 00:00:27,822 - Cheddar biscuits. - Lobster and langoustine pizza. 13 00:00:27,889 --> 00:00:30,895 - The Mariner's Platter. - It's the best. 14 00:00:30,962 --> 00:00:33,300 Well, the Last Supper has some great dishes, too. 15 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:36,272 Y'all, don't be seduced by the big corporate butts. 16 00:00:36,339 --> 00:00:37,676 Well, well, well, 17 00:00:37,742 --> 00:00:41,482 sounds pretty tasty if you like the taste of death. 18 00:00:41,550 --> 00:00:43,921 So... table for one? 19 00:00:43,988 --> 00:00:45,324 Table for nobody, 20 00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:48,229 - once that Lord Lobster opens up. - Oh, 21 00:00:48,296 --> 00:00:50,300 I think we can handle a little competition. 22 00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:53,874 That Highway 311 bypass is already making it real easy 23 00:00:53,941 --> 00:00:56,245 to blow past towns like this one. 24 00:00:56,312 --> 00:00:57,592 When that Lord Lobster gets built, 25 00:00:57,616 --> 00:00:58,951 everything changes. 26 00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:00,454 I hail from Delk, 27 00:01:00,521 --> 00:01:03,293 just over yonder, in Davidson County. 28 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,263 'Twas one of the first towns to be decimated 29 00:01:05,330 --> 00:01:07,167 by the 311 bypass 30 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,904 and the plague of corporate sprawl. 31 00:01:08,971 --> 00:01:11,342 People love chains, and that means 32 00:01:11,409 --> 00:01:13,446 the mom and pop places die out, 33 00:01:13,514 --> 00:01:15,918 choked to death. 34 00:01:15,985 --> 00:01:18,323 Delk Country Diner, 35 00:01:18,390 --> 00:01:20,293 RIP when they built a Country Tub 36 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:21,360 right off the exit. 37 00:01:21,396 --> 00:01:24,301 J&H Hardware, RIP. 38 00:01:24,368 --> 00:01:27,241 Couldn't compete with the Hardware Warehouse. 39 00:01:27,307 --> 00:01:29,311 John and Hester had to move to Pensacola 40 00:01:29,378 --> 00:01:31,717 - to live with their adult son. - (all gasp) 41 00:01:31,784 --> 00:01:34,288 Soon, you'll all be living with your adult children. 42 00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:36,359 I don't have any adult children. 43 00:01:36,426 --> 00:01:38,864 That's a choice you made 30 years ago, buddy. 44 00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:41,369 Y'all, don't get all worked up over this handsome stranger. 45 00:01:41,436 --> 00:01:43,206 I mean, we don't even know who you are. 46 00:01:43,273 --> 00:01:45,845 - My name is Richard Pyunst. - What's that, now? 47 00:01:45,912 --> 00:01:49,285 My name is Richard Chokachee Pyunst. 48 00:01:49,351 --> 00:01:51,322 Well, mister... How do you say your last name? 49 00:01:51,389 --> 00:01:55,363 - Pyunst. - Okay, well, Mr. Py‐ounst... 50 00:01:55,430 --> 00:01:58,704 No, put more "oo" into it. Pyunst. 51 00:01:58,771 --> 00:01:59,706 (whip cracks) 52 00:01:59,773 --> 00:02:00,875 Mr. Pyunst. 53 00:02:00,942 --> 00:02:02,377 - You got it. - Well, Mr. Pyunst, 54 00:02:02,444 --> 00:02:04,381 I'm here to tell you that can't happen here. 55 00:02:04,448 --> 00:02:06,452 Everyone loves the Last Supper in Greenpoint, 56 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,624 and its people are too amazing 57 00:02:08,691 --> 00:02:11,195 to be steamrolled by a bunch of corporate butts. 58 00:02:11,262 --> 00:02:13,901 Oh, no? Ticktock, ticktock, Greenpoint. 59 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,540 (all gasp) 60 00:02:16,607 --> 00:02:18,611 ♪ ♪ 61 00:02:47,702 --> 00:02:48,971 WEBB: Now, I know 62 00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:51,643 we all have concerns about Lord Lobster. 63 00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:53,881 That's why I called this forum. 64 00:02:53,948 --> 00:02:54,716 We're the walking dead. 65 00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,620 Greenpoint's gonna wither and die. 66 00:02:56,687 --> 00:02:57,956 Everyone's worried! 67 00:02:58,022 --> 00:02:59,425 Even Bud's Babydolls. 68 00:02:59,491 --> 00:03:01,429 And no one pays to see a worried dancer. 69 00:03:01,495 --> 00:03:02,932 Show 'em, Dawn! 70 00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:05,003 (townspeople groan, exclaim) 71 00:03:06,339 --> 00:03:09,011 The people of Greenpoint are the dinosaurs 72 00:03:09,078 --> 00:03:13,253 and Lord Lobster's the asteroid that's gonna wipe us out! 73 00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:14,789 (sniffles) We are done for. 74 00:03:14,856 --> 00:03:16,259 (all gasp) 75 00:03:16,325 --> 00:03:18,463 I got on Daniel's businessman computer 76 00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:21,269 and looked up Lord Lobster's latest commercial 77 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:24,308 and I am scared, y'all. 78 00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:25,611 ‐(confused noises) ‐Oh, okay. 79 00:03:25,678 --> 00:03:26,780 That's Daniel working out. 80 00:03:26,847 --> 00:03:28,951 Just click out of that one. 81 00:03:29,018 --> 00:03:30,788 There it is, y'all. 82 00:03:30,855 --> 00:03:32,391 ANNOUNCER: Lord Lobster is sailing 83 00:03:32,457 --> 00:03:34,295 into the triad, opening soon 84 00:03:34,361 --> 00:03:36,967 on Route 311 with The Mariner's Platter. 85 00:03:37,034 --> 00:03:39,773 Succulent shrimp, mouthwatering lobster, 86 00:03:39,839 --> 00:03:42,679 and the biscuits you cannot resist. 87 00:03:42,745 --> 00:03:43,847 (indistinct chatter) 88 00:03:43,914 --> 00:03:45,417 So next time you're on Highway 311, 89 00:03:45,483 --> 00:03:48,657 hit the gas and sail on past Greenpoint 90 00:03:48,724 --> 00:03:52,331 to Exit 19, future home of Lord Lobster 91 00:03:52,397 --> 00:03:54,836 and Ye Olde Shoppes at the Bypass. 92 00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:57,040 It's the end times, my babies! 93 00:03:57,107 --> 00:04:01,315 No one can stop the four seahorsemen of the Apocalobster! 94 00:04:01,382 --> 00:04:02,785 - Randy! - That's enough, Randy! 95 00:04:02,852 --> 00:04:04,889 Come on, don't take it out on Randy. 96 00:04:04,956 --> 00:04:06,994 Okay, people, this is not over yet. 97 00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:09,431 'Cause you know what I didn't see in that dumb, 98 00:04:09,498 --> 00:04:11,603 stupid, glitzy Lord Lobster commercial? 99 00:04:11,670 --> 00:04:14,843 People, and Greenpoint's got the best people there is. 100 00:04:14,909 --> 00:04:16,613 Didn't you see that commercial? 101 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,751 My phone bill's due soon! 102 00:04:18,817 --> 00:04:20,654 Well, what if we made our own commercial, 103 00:04:20,721 --> 00:04:22,992 showing all the‐the sweet down‐home faces 104 00:04:23,059 --> 00:04:24,996 at Greenpoint's favorite seafood restaurant, 105 00:04:25,063 --> 00:04:27,969 where the menu comes straight out of Louise's family recipes 106 00:04:28,036 --> 00:04:29,939 and‐and 60 years of tradition! 107 00:04:30,006 --> 00:04:31,108 (indistinct chatter) 108 00:04:31,175 --> 00:04:34,348 If we did a commercial, we could show those corporate butts 109 00:04:34,415 --> 00:04:36,529 - our homegrown southern charm! - (cheering and applause) 110 00:04:36,553 --> 00:04:38,690 That's a great idea, Jenny. 111 00:04:38,757 --> 00:04:40,895 Directing a commercial's a big job. 112 00:04:40,961 --> 00:04:43,366 You need somebody who knows the restaurant, the food, 113 00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:45,437 the people like the back of her hand. 114 00:04:45,504 --> 00:04:47,909 Ooh, doo‐doo. 115 00:04:47,975 --> 00:04:49,679 But mostly you need someone 116 00:04:49,746 --> 00:04:52,585 who's not wandering around town in her pajamas. 117 00:04:52,652 --> 00:04:55,524 - Yeah, Jenny can do it! - (cheering and applause) 118 00:04:55,591 --> 00:04:57,528 What?! Oh, no, no. 119 00:04:57,595 --> 00:04:59,699 We should definitely hire a professional for this. 120 00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:02,370 Greenpoint can't afford a professional. 121 00:05:02,437 --> 00:05:05,376 We technically don't even have a police force right now. 122 00:05:05,443 --> 00:05:07,481 We rely on citizen's arrests. 123 00:05:07,548 --> 00:05:09,652 - Oh, what? - Never mind, forget I said that. 124 00:05:09,719 --> 00:05:13,126 But there is just enough money left in the till 125 00:05:13,192 --> 00:05:14,996 for you to make the commercial. 126 00:05:15,063 --> 00:05:17,568 I'm not a gambling man, but I say we put 127 00:05:17,635 --> 00:05:21,375 all the town's remaining money on Jenny! 128 00:05:21,442 --> 00:05:25,383 ALL (chanting): Jenny! Jenny! Jenny! Jenny! 129 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,154 Jenny, Jenny, don't worry, I'll help. 130 00:05:27,220 --> 00:05:28,557 I got you, girl. 131 00:05:28,624 --> 00:05:30,995 ALL (chanting): Jenny! Jenny! Jenny! 132 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,838 Okay, is this anything? 133 00:05:35,905 --> 00:05:38,744 Where you're at the Last Supper, you're home. 134 00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:40,113 Or is that boring? 135 00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:41,583 (gasps) Why are you guys filming me? 136 00:05:41,650 --> 00:05:44,421 As a documentarian, I cannot pass this up. 137 00:05:44,488 --> 00:05:45,791 I want to be the next Ken Burns. 138 00:05:45,858 --> 00:05:47,762 She's even thinking about rocking his bowl cut. 139 00:05:47,828 --> 00:05:49,966 Well, hello, Madame Director. 140 00:05:50,033 --> 00:05:51,135 You ready to do this? 141 00:05:51,202 --> 00:05:52,872 Wayne, what did you get me into? 142 00:05:52,939 --> 00:05:54,576 Jenny, I know this is stressful, 143 00:05:54,642 --> 00:05:56,646 but I'm gonna help you out by using my connections 144 00:05:56,713 --> 00:05:58,449 at the Greenpoint Community Theater. 145 00:05:58,517 --> 00:06:00,453 Oh, my Lord, just please don't say 146 00:06:00,521 --> 00:06:02,558 community theater legend Ian David Cole. 147 00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:05,731 A formal offer was already made and accepted via text. 148 00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,109 And in the community theater world, 149 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:08,670 that is contractually binding. 150 00:06:08,737 --> 00:06:10,750 Yeah, but isn't he going through a terrible divorce? 151 00:06:10,774 --> 00:06:13,614 The people in the commercial have to seem happy and normal. 152 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:16,485 Don't worry, he's gonna do what all pros do‐‐ 153 00:06:16,553 --> 00:06:17,755 channel his marital despair 154 00:06:17,822 --> 00:06:19,559 into the best performance of his life. 155 00:06:19,626 --> 00:06:21,596 Lucky for you, we put our heads together 156 00:06:21,663 --> 00:06:23,703 and came up with the perfect Last Supper commercial. 157 00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:25,436 Now, here's what I'm thinking. 158 00:06:25,504 --> 00:06:27,975 Open on Main Street, cut to 159 00:06:28,042 --> 00:06:31,215 Ian David Cole, Flavor Sheriff of Greenpoint. 160 00:06:31,282 --> 00:06:33,119 Hunting down public enemy number one: 161 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:35,123 - (stomach growls) - empty bellies. 162 00:06:35,189 --> 00:06:36,593 Hmm. 163 00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:39,164 And that's where these two lovable idiots 164 00:06:39,231 --> 00:06:41,468 come in... and as per usual, 165 00:06:41,536 --> 00:06:42,972 they are up to no good. 166 00:06:43,039 --> 00:06:45,009 Yep, they're the Flavor Bandits. 167 00:06:45,076 --> 00:06:48,115 (screaming, clamoring) 168 00:06:48,182 --> 00:06:50,654 Curse you, flavor bandits! 169 00:06:50,721 --> 00:06:51,623 They stole our food! 170 00:06:51,690 --> 00:06:53,794 My baby is wasting away! 171 00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:55,597 Don't worry, ma'am. 172 00:06:55,664 --> 00:06:58,002 I'm here to save the day. 173 00:07:01,175 --> 00:07:03,212 WAYNE: Star‐wipe to glamor shots 174 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:04,992 of the Last Supper's delicious dinner entrees. 175 00:07:05,016 --> 00:07:06,629 Bullwhip crack to... (imitates whip crack) 176 00:07:06,653 --> 00:07:09,057 the sidewalk of hungry patrons. 177 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:14,878 Then Ian David Cole looks directly 178 00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,472 into the camera and says... 179 00:07:16,539 --> 00:07:19,679 You just witnessed the good, the bad, and the yummy. 180 00:07:19,746 --> 00:07:21,649 Yippie ka‐ya‐yum! 181 00:07:21,716 --> 00:07:23,185 The Last Supper Seafood. 182 00:07:23,252 --> 00:07:24,822 Fade to flavor. 183 00:07:24,889 --> 00:07:26,225 The end. 184 00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:32,505 Can a commercial pitch win an Oscar? 185 00:07:32,571 --> 00:07:34,842 Oh, my God, I want to be shot in the mouth with a shrimp. 186 00:07:34,909 --> 00:07:36,646 Everybody just get the hell out of here. 187 00:07:36,713 --> 00:07:38,517 Now, that's directing. 188 00:07:40,587 --> 00:07:42,123 JESUS: Ready for the big shoot, Jenny? 189 00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:44,161 Commercials can be pretty complicated. 190 00:07:44,227 --> 00:07:45,798 Remember those Whassup guys? 191 00:07:45,864 --> 00:07:47,167 Whassup! 192 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,572 That commercial took 45 days to shoot. 193 00:07:49,639 --> 00:07:51,709 Okay, yesterday, I was a nervous wreck, 194 00:07:51,776 --> 00:07:54,615 but I stayed up all night and I got it all planned out perfect. 195 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,796 We start with Louise, then Brenda, then some food stuff, 196 00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:59,224 interview a few sweet‐faced, loyal customers 197 00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:00,794 and... that's a wrap, end of day. 198 00:08:00,861 --> 00:08:02,765 Yay, Jenny. High kick, high kick! 199 00:08:02,832 --> 00:08:04,210 And third high kick, time permitting. 200 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:07,106 - I totally got this. - (engine revving) 201 00:08:08,342 --> 00:08:11,783 Time to shoot a commercial, my babies! 202 00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:13,185 Oh, what? 203 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:18,162 (bell rings) 204 00:08:18,229 --> 00:08:20,834 It's a carnival atmosphere, babies! 205 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,972 We're all gonna be in the commercial! 206 00:08:23,038 --> 00:08:24,709 Wait, what? 207 00:08:24,775 --> 00:08:26,144 Oh, thank God, Mayor Webb. 208 00:08:26,211 --> 00:08:27,982 You got to help me get everyone out of here. 209 00:08:28,048 --> 00:08:30,621 This is just too much chaos for a simple little shoot. 210 00:08:30,687 --> 00:08:33,660 Yeah, can you believe they all think they're gonna get cast? 211 00:08:33,727 --> 00:08:35,831 We've got that covered, right, Jenny? 212 00:08:35,898 --> 00:08:39,271 No commercial's complete without a ditty on my lute. 213 00:08:39,337 --> 00:08:42,745 ♪ Gather 'round yon children, let me tell you a tale... ♪ 214 00:08:42,811 --> 00:08:45,082 Oh, well, hang on a sec. 215 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:47,086 Oh, good Lord, keep calm, Jenny. 216 00:08:47,153 --> 00:08:48,255 You got this. 217 00:08:48,322 --> 00:08:49,592 VIOLET: Or does she? 218 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,094 Will Jenny Hart be able to fit 219 00:08:51,161 --> 00:08:52,731 each and every townsperson 220 00:08:52,798 --> 00:08:54,010 in the commercial, thereby ruining it? 221 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,739 Or will she coldly turn them all away, 222 00:08:56,806 --> 00:08:58,375 inviting their permanent hatred? 223 00:08:58,442 --> 00:09:00,614 - Violet! - Jenny, look at this! 224 00:09:00,681 --> 00:09:02,718 - Put me in the commercial! - Look what I can do! 225 00:09:02,785 --> 00:09:05,089 Hey y'all. 226 00:09:05,156 --> 00:09:06,826 Ugh, how do I say this? 227 00:09:06,893 --> 00:09:09,665 You're all so wonderful and so talented. 228 00:09:09,732 --> 00:09:11,712 But I‐I just don't think we're gonna be able to get 229 00:09:11,736 --> 00:09:13,673 everyone in this commercial. 230 00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:15,180 - Oh, no! - (crowd booing, clamoring) 231 00:09:17,013 --> 00:09:20,854 Is what I would have said if I was s‐some kind of big jerk. 232 00:09:20,921 --> 00:09:23,258 (chuckles) But I'm not, so just sit tight, 233 00:09:23,325 --> 00:09:24,965 and I'll get to y'all as soon as possible. 234 00:09:25,029 --> 00:09:27,735 - (crowd cheering, applauding) - I'm‐a be famous, y'all! 235 00:09:29,839 --> 00:09:31,141 Okay, so here we go. 236 00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:32,745 Let's get this started. 237 00:09:32,811 --> 00:09:34,156 Can y'all believe all these whack‐a‐doos? 238 00:09:34,180 --> 00:09:36,653 (gasps) No, Mother, not the catsuit. 239 00:09:36,719 --> 00:09:37,955 Absolutely not. 240 00:09:38,022 --> 00:09:39,725 I want you to look like you. 241 00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:42,163 If you think you're upset, at least you're not us, 242 00:09:42,230 --> 00:09:45,771 who had to "help her pour herself into this." 243 00:09:45,837 --> 00:09:47,775 I think she looks amazing. 244 00:09:47,841 --> 00:09:49,712 Mother, what are you doing here? 245 00:09:49,779 --> 00:09:51,983 I am just here to help you save 246 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:55,957 ♪ The Last Supper Seafood ♪ 247 00:09:56,024 --> 00:09:58,797 ♪ Where friends and fish ♪ 248 00:09:58,863 --> 00:10:02,270 ♪ Unite. ♪ 249 00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:03,973 I got good news and bad news. 250 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,113 Bad news: I went to Ian David Cole's house to pick him 251 00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:09,752 at the time we agreed upon, and he was not there. 252 00:10:09,819 --> 00:10:11,321 That's fine. I'm actually relieved. 253 00:10:11,388 --> 00:10:13,693 Good news: he has been located. 254 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:14,829 He's currently on his way 255 00:10:14,895 --> 00:10:16,833 to the top of the water tower. 256 00:10:16,899 --> 00:10:19,204 Please do not bring a suicidal man here. 257 00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:22,410 I am 100% sure he is not suicidal. 258 00:10:22,477 --> 00:10:25,049 He's just up there doing some vocal warm‐ups 259 00:10:25,116 --> 00:10:28,021 while he gets a bird's‐eye view of the town he's about to save. 260 00:10:28,088 --> 00:10:29,935 - Heading to the water tower. - Wayne, no, no, wait! 261 00:10:29,959 --> 00:10:33,332 - (groans) - Doo, doo‐doo‐doo, I'm ready, Jenny. 262 00:10:33,398 --> 00:10:35,236 First shot of the day‐‐ let's do this. 263 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,406 Okay, so, Louise, you're just gonna walk up 264 00:10:37,473 --> 00:10:40,246 to the salad bar and say, "Welcome to the Last Supper. 265 00:10:40,312 --> 00:10:42,785 When you're at the Last Supper, you're home." 266 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:45,055 Jenny, this is my restaurant. 267 00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:48,095 I think I know what to say about it. 268 00:10:48,162 --> 00:10:49,899 Doo, doo‐doo‐doo! 269 00:10:49,965 --> 00:10:52,069 Welcome to the Last Supper, 270 00:10:52,136 --> 00:10:54,909 where we have a nice‐size parking lot 271 00:10:54,975 --> 00:10:58,282 that accommodates everyone, but if you do park 272 00:10:58,348 --> 00:11:02,089 in the handicapped spot without a placard, you will be towed. 273 00:11:02,156 --> 00:11:05,262 Okay. L‐Let's try again and just make sure we get the line, 274 00:11:05,329 --> 00:11:07,233 "At the Last Supper, you're home." 275 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,068 LOUISE: Well, Jenny, 276 00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,874 the problem with saying "you're home" 277 00:11:10,941 --> 00:11:14,080 is that we had those nasty squatters in the parking lot, 278 00:11:14,147 --> 00:11:16,117 who actually did make this their home 279 00:11:16,184 --> 00:11:18,455 until I had to get the courts involved. 280 00:11:18,523 --> 00:11:20,527 Okay, fine, let's just go again. 281 00:11:20,594 --> 00:11:22,764 Welcome to the Last Supper, 282 00:11:22,831 --> 00:11:25,904 where if you are a squatter, know this: 283 00:11:25,971 --> 00:11:28,910 I have got Ricky's Towing on speed dial. 284 00:11:28,977 --> 00:11:32,483 Ricky's Towing is the absolute best in Greenpoint, y'all. 285 00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:35,924 Cut. Okay, Louise, uh, you didn't say anything 286 00:11:35,991 --> 00:11:37,537 about your food, and then you immediately started doing 287 00:11:37,561 --> 00:11:39,965 a commercial for another business. 288 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,869 We got to keep it on the Last Supper. 289 00:11:41,936 --> 00:11:43,840 But we're never gonna be able to save Greenpoint 290 00:11:43,907 --> 00:11:47,079 with parking lots teeming with nasty squatters. 291 00:11:47,146 --> 00:11:49,852 So don't tell me what to say, Jenny. 292 00:11:49,919 --> 00:11:52,290 - You've changed. - BRENDA: Jenny! 293 00:11:52,356 --> 00:11:53,993 (shouts, grunts) Let's do this. 294 00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:57,834 Brenda, what the hell happened to you? 295 00:11:57,901 --> 00:11:59,505 - My God. - Where do you want me? 296 00:11:59,571 --> 00:12:01,441 Well, you were gonna be my star waitress, 297 00:12:01,509 --> 00:12:04,447 but now you're upsetting to look at. 298 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:05,850 What in the hell happened? 299 00:12:05,917 --> 00:12:07,921 I wanted to get a suntan for the commercial, 300 00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,424 so I laid out in my satellite dish 301 00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:12,063 and used a full‐length mirror to make sure 302 00:12:12,129 --> 00:12:14,500 the sun hit all my nooks and crannies. 303 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:18,141 And you were wearing 2010 New Year's Eve sunglasses? 304 00:12:18,208 --> 00:12:19,945 You got it, Nancy Drew. 305 00:12:20,012 --> 00:12:21,816 You know what? I'm gonna put you in the back. 306 00:12:21,882 --> 00:12:24,087 Jenny, this is my lifelong dream. 307 00:12:24,153 --> 00:12:26,859 Ever since I saw Sally Field in those Boniva commercials. 308 00:12:26,926 --> 00:12:27,995 Please. 309 00:12:28,061 --> 00:12:29,932 But aren't you in excruciating pain? 310 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,836 Not for long. (laughs) 311 00:12:31,902 --> 00:12:34,340 I just took six Tylenol PMs, 312 00:12:34,407 --> 00:12:37,480 so I'm gonna be in Power Mode before you know it. 313 00:12:37,547 --> 00:12:40,553 Brenda, that is not what PM stands for. 314 00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:42,924 (sighs) You know what? Just... Okay. 315 00:12:42,991 --> 00:12:44,938 Before you pass out, can you move the hostess stand 316 00:12:44,962 --> 00:12:46,498 into Louise's office 317 00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:48,111 and then go cool off in the walk‐in for a while? 318 00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,905 On it! (shouts) 319 00:12:49,972 --> 00:12:53,913 My skin's burnt turgid. (groans) 320 00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:55,349 Deep breaths. Okay, deep breaths. 321 00:12:55,416 --> 00:12:57,019 Jenny, you got this. 322 00:12:57,086 --> 00:13:00,894 The pressure is mounting as hometown turns into crazy town. 323 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,432 Greenpoint is pushing her to her breaking point. 324 00:13:03,498 --> 00:13:06,304 Violet. I swear, I will spank you. 325 00:13:06,371 --> 00:13:07,541 You better splice that out. 326 00:13:07,607 --> 00:13:09,611 - I'm afraid I can't. - (groans) 327 00:13:09,678 --> 00:13:11,090 - (door opens, chimes) - Ian David Cole update: 328 00:13:11,114 --> 00:13:12,216 more good news, bad news. 329 00:13:12,283 --> 00:13:14,387 I'll start with the bad so we can end on a high note. 330 00:13:14,454 --> 00:13:17,326 The bad news is it was a suicide attempt. 331 00:13:17,393 --> 00:13:18,963 But the good news is 332 00:13:19,030 --> 00:13:21,234 - he failed! - (door opens, chimes) 333 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,038 - Oh, no. - Well, look 334 00:13:23,105 --> 00:13:27,046 who just waltzed in here, all high and mighty in her tuck. 335 00:13:27,113 --> 00:13:30,052 - Mother, it's tux. - Well, yeah, when it's more than one. 336 00:13:30,119 --> 00:13:32,891 Jenny, I know the plural form of tuck, y'all. 337 00:13:32,958 --> 00:13:34,160 Ugh, look at her. 338 00:13:34,227 --> 00:13:36,231 Who even owns a lady "tuckeedo" anymore? 339 00:13:36,297 --> 00:13:38,435 Did you just say "tuckeedo"? 340 00:13:38,503 --> 00:13:40,439 Is that really how you think it's pronounced? 341 00:13:40,507 --> 00:13:42,285 And please do not pick a fight with Crystalynn. 342 00:13:42,309 --> 00:13:43,946 Not today. We do not have time. 343 00:13:44,013 --> 00:13:46,084 (vocalizing) 344 00:13:46,151 --> 00:13:48,088 Let's go, girls. 345 00:13:48,155 --> 00:13:50,627 Well, let's not. Didn't say anything. 346 00:13:50,693 --> 00:13:53,331 - Gold. - Oscar gold. 347 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,271 Okay, Mother, all you have to do 348 00:13:56,337 --> 00:13:58,008 is come out of the stall and say, 349 00:13:58,074 --> 00:14:00,045 "With facilities so clean..." 350 00:14:00,112 --> 00:14:02,016 and then Crystalynn, you come out and say, 351 00:14:02,082 --> 00:14:03,553 "I could eat off the floor." 352 00:14:03,619 --> 00:14:06,224 Well, it is more likely that Betty 353 00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:09,230 would eat off a bathroom floor, so she should say that line. 354 00:14:09,297 --> 00:14:11,167 - I'm not saying that line. - Fine. 355 00:14:11,234 --> 00:14:13,238 I'll do it, 'cause I'm a pro. 356 00:14:13,305 --> 00:14:16,444 Whatever. Please, let's just get through this. 357 00:14:16,512 --> 00:14:19,183 With facilities so clean... 358 00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:21,689 - Betty eats off bathroom floors. - Oh, what in the hell? 359 00:14:21,755 --> 00:14:24,561 Okay, stop. That wasn't... (groans) 360 00:14:24,628 --> 00:14:27,534 Here I am, coming out of this clean bathroom. 361 00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:29,605 Just visiting this crazy catsuit lady 362 00:14:29,671 --> 00:14:31,942 - who lives in here. - (Jenny groans) 363 00:14:32,009 --> 00:14:34,615 Here I am, coming out of this clean... 364 00:14:34,681 --> 00:14:38,121 Help. The elderly lady next door pooped her tuck. 365 00:14:38,188 --> 00:14:39,725 - So tacky. - You ho bag. 366 00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,127 Ha, ha, great job. 367 00:14:41,194 --> 00:14:44,233 - Aw. Thank you. - So sweet. 368 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,170 (grunting): We've got friendly... 369 00:14:46,237 --> 00:14:48,041 service with a smile... (shouts) 370 00:14:48,108 --> 00:14:52,016 Dang it. Every time I move, I feel the fabric on my skin. 371 00:14:52,082 --> 00:14:54,186 Please, Jenny, for the love of God, 372 00:14:54,253 --> 00:14:56,024 let me take my top off. 373 00:14:56,090 --> 00:14:58,663 Brenda, no. And also, thank you for ruining this shot. 374 00:14:58,729 --> 00:15:00,499 Sorry, Jenny. 375 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,973 - Why are all my actors complete nightmares? - Jenny. Jenny. 376 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,653 Oh, Lord. No more good news, bad news, Wayne. 377 00:15:05,677 --> 00:15:09,083 Nope, this time we're talking good news, great news. 378 00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:11,287 Presenting The Flavor Sheriff, 379 00:15:11,354 --> 00:15:15,262 as portrayed by community theatre's Ian David Cole! 380 00:15:15,329 --> 00:15:16,164 (horse whinnies) 381 00:15:16,230 --> 00:15:18,001 (slurring): In case you were wondering 382 00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:20,439 if my bitch wife finally left me, 383 00:15:20,506 --> 00:15:22,343 the answer is yes. 384 00:15:22,409 --> 00:15:23,211 Oh, he's actor drunk. 385 00:15:23,278 --> 00:15:26,985 And he's double‐parked, so that's a tow. 386 00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:29,524 Roll camera. Action me. 387 00:15:29,591 --> 00:15:31,762 Stop right there, partner! 388 00:15:31,829 --> 00:15:34,166 There's no room in this town 389 00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,411 - for empty bellies. - (all gasping) 390 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,772 Pew! Pew! 391 00:15:38,441 --> 00:15:39,778 (screaming, gasping) 392 00:15:39,845 --> 00:15:41,565 Oh, my God. Okay, why did you say "pew, pew" 393 00:15:41,615 --> 00:15:43,184 if it's a real gun? 394 00:15:43,251 --> 00:15:46,124 Sorry, I thought this was my ex‐wife's house. 395 00:15:46,190 --> 00:15:48,361 And blackout. 396 00:15:48,428 --> 00:15:50,365 (exclaims) 397 00:15:50,432 --> 00:15:52,035 ‐(shouts) ‐(clattering) 398 00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:53,672 JENNY: Okay, great. 399 00:15:53,739 --> 00:15:55,475 Yeah, thanks, Ian. Wayne, he's fired. 400 00:15:55,543 --> 00:15:57,212 - Get him out of here. - Oh, come on. 401 00:15:57,279 --> 00:15:59,551 - That was only the first take. - What is the holdup? 402 00:15:59,618 --> 00:16:01,622 My girls stretched two hours ago. 403 00:16:01,688 --> 00:16:03,491 They're gonna have to stretch again. 404 00:16:03,559 --> 00:16:05,328 My adult sons are getting hungry. 405 00:16:05,395 --> 00:16:07,132 (both grunting) 406 00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:09,170 ♪ The Cobbler and the Blacksmith set... ♪ 407 00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:11,207 - No. - (indistinct chatter) 408 00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:13,044 - What the hell? - (both grunting) 409 00:16:13,111 --> 00:16:15,048 ‐(wailing) ‐Okay. 410 00:16:15,115 --> 00:16:17,186 Well, let's take a fiver. 411 00:16:17,252 --> 00:16:20,693 I'm going to go do a thing. 412 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,398 And I will be right back. 413 00:16:23,465 --> 00:16:27,039 (shouts) I'm trying to help these people 414 00:16:27,105 --> 00:16:29,210 and save this town, and for what? 415 00:16:29,276 --> 00:16:31,113 They're just a bunch of butts! 416 00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:33,220 When this town does die, I hope they change the name 417 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:35,590 from Greenpoint to Buttpoint. 418 00:16:35,656 --> 00:16:37,594 Population: butts. 419 00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:38,772 ‐Louise is a big old butt, ‐(gasps) 420 00:16:38,796 --> 00:16:40,499 Mother's catsuit's a big old butt. 421 00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:43,238 Mayor Webb, I'm gonna take that lute and spank your butt. 422 00:16:43,304 --> 00:16:45,342 Ian David Butt. 423 00:16:45,408 --> 00:16:47,279 And P. S., thank you, Wayne, 424 00:16:47,346 --> 00:16:49,250 for butting in with your big old butt. 425 00:16:49,316 --> 00:16:51,788 And Brenda's burnt‐ass calendar face is a big old butt. 426 00:16:51,855 --> 00:16:54,528 ‐(grunts) ‐Bunch of idiot butts. 427 00:16:54,594 --> 00:16:57,132 Ugh, every last one of those butts. 428 00:16:57,199 --> 00:16:59,370 Okay. (exhales) 429 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:02,209 Jenny, pull it together. Butt, butt. 430 00:17:02,276 --> 00:17:03,211 (blabbers) 431 00:17:03,278 --> 00:17:04,714 (blabbering over P. A. system) 432 00:17:06,117 --> 00:17:07,419 ‐(door opens) ‐Okay. 433 00:17:07,486 --> 00:17:09,724 So, let's get back to it. 434 00:17:09,791 --> 00:17:10,726 What? 435 00:17:10,793 --> 00:17:13,097 Mom, the mic was on. 436 00:17:13,164 --> 00:17:17,105 Oh... no... 437 00:17:17,172 --> 00:17:19,611 ♪ ♪ 438 00:17:21,682 --> 00:17:24,086 I quit. 439 00:17:24,153 --> 00:17:26,457 Aah! 440 00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:35,241 VIOLET: How are you? 441 00:17:35,308 --> 00:17:36,745 - Mom? - Not great. 442 00:17:36,812 --> 00:17:38,281 I buckled under the pressure. 443 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:39,784 No, but it's not all on me. 444 00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,764 I mean, I... this commercial was supposed to be about 445 00:17:41,788 --> 00:17:44,259 a family‐owned restaurant in a great little town 446 00:17:44,326 --> 00:17:45,830 filled with sweet little people, 447 00:17:45,896 --> 00:17:48,569 and everyone showed up and acted like a bunch of little freaks. 448 00:17:48,636 --> 00:17:50,773 Mom, I want you to watch this. 449 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,512 I hope this commercial works, 450 00:17:53,579 --> 00:17:55,281 'cause I really love Greenpoint. 451 00:17:55,348 --> 00:17:57,687 There's a reason I moved here after grad school. 452 00:17:57,754 --> 00:18:01,260 Oh, I've never lived anywhere else nor would I want to. 453 00:18:01,327 --> 00:18:04,266 Yeah, Greenpoint sure is a beautiful town. 454 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,139 (sighs) Oh, look, the dogwoods are coming in. 455 00:18:07,205 --> 00:18:09,276 (birds chirping) 456 00:18:13,184 --> 00:18:16,123 I know every Greenpointer's deepest, darkest secret, 457 00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:19,129 - and I still love these people. - Me, too. 458 00:18:19,196 --> 00:18:21,902 The only negative thing I did hear one person say‐‐ 459 00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,739 and these are not my words‐‐ 460 00:18:23,806 --> 00:18:27,279 is "Betty Hart is a dogface troll." 461 00:18:27,345 --> 00:18:29,784 Now, other than that one negative comment, 462 00:18:29,851 --> 00:18:31,755 it's all positive here. 463 00:18:31,822 --> 00:18:33,233 BETTY: You've got to love a town where everyone 464 00:18:33,257 --> 00:18:36,230 accepts each other for who they are. 465 00:18:36,297 --> 00:18:39,236 Especially poor old Crystalynn Poole, 466 00:18:39,303 --> 00:18:41,440 who never learned to wipe properly. 467 00:18:41,508 --> 00:18:43,211 Hey, Violet, are you filming me? 468 00:18:43,277 --> 00:18:46,818 Okay, well, film this. Jenny freakin' rules. 469 00:18:46,885 --> 00:18:48,655 Greenpoint freakin' rules. 470 00:18:48,722 --> 00:18:51,862 And anyone who disagrees is a little bitch. 471 00:18:51,928 --> 00:18:53,565 Aah! 472 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:57,472 Aw, Vi. What did I do? 473 00:18:57,540 --> 00:19:00,646 MayKay Bueller here at the Greenpoint Library 474 00:19:00,713 --> 00:19:03,317 where they're kicking off Fine Forgiveness Week. 475 00:19:03,384 --> 00:19:04,864 Hey, what the heck do you think you're doing? 476 00:19:04,888 --> 00:19:06,901 Just talk right into the mic right there, right there. 477 00:19:06,925 --> 00:19:10,165 I have breaking news. I am a butt, y'all. 478 00:19:10,231 --> 00:19:12,169 A big ol' butt. 479 00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:14,707 (sighs) The whole town of Greenpoint showed up to help, 480 00:19:14,774 --> 00:19:17,312 and I should have been thanking you, but instead, 481 00:19:17,379 --> 00:19:19,717 I let all your quirks drive me crazy. 482 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:22,289 But those quirks are exactly what makes this town 483 00:19:22,355 --> 00:19:25,796 so special. (sighs) I'm sorry I let us down. 484 00:19:25,863 --> 00:19:27,499 I just hope you forgive me. 485 00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,904 Thank you each and every person 486 00:19:29,971 --> 00:19:32,209 of Greenpoint for being so special. 487 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,591 I'm really gonna miss this place. 488 00:19:39,657 --> 00:19:42,362 I guess this time, David didn't beat Goliath. 489 00:19:42,429 --> 00:19:43,942 - (heavenly music plays) - You sure about that? 490 00:19:43,966 --> 00:19:44,968 (door opens, chimes) 491 00:19:48,575 --> 00:19:49,744 Y'all came back. 492 00:19:49,811 --> 00:19:51,781 Is Randy still gonna be in the commercial? 493 00:19:51,848 --> 00:19:54,253 'Cause if I'm gonna blow fire out of my tooter, 494 00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:56,758 there is some preparation involved. 495 00:19:56,825 --> 00:19:58,762 Well, then, prep that tooter, Randy, 496 00:19:58,829 --> 00:20:00,341 'cause we're all gonna be in this commercial. 497 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:01,935 Every last beautiful one of us. 498 00:20:02,002 --> 00:20:04,439 (cheering) 499 00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:05,709 Okay, places, y'all. 500 00:20:05,776 --> 00:20:06,978 Everybody ready? 501 00:20:07,045 --> 00:20:09,316 And... action. 502 00:20:09,383 --> 00:20:11,320 When you're at the Last Supper... 503 00:20:11,387 --> 00:20:12,657 ALL: You're home! 504 00:20:12,723 --> 00:20:13,825 She pooped her tuck. 505 00:20:16,898 --> 00:20:18,502 (Jenny shushes) 506 00:20:18,568 --> 00:20:20,673 Everyone, here it is. 507 00:20:20,739 --> 00:20:22,510 Doo, doo‐doo‐doo, I'm Louise Culp, 508 00:20:22,576 --> 00:20:25,749 and welcome to the Last Supper Seafood. 509 00:20:25,816 --> 00:20:27,853 A restaurant that does tow. 510 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,491 We've got friendly service with a smile. 511 00:20:30,559 --> 00:20:33,632 - With facilities so clean... - JENNY: You could eat - off the floors. 512 00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:36,470 LOUISE: And you might even see a local celebrity, 513 00:20:36,538 --> 00:20:39,376 like Ian David Cole. 514 00:20:39,443 --> 00:20:40,946 When you're at the Last Supper... 515 00:20:41,013 --> 00:20:42,817 - ALL: You're home! - She poo... 516 00:20:42,883 --> 00:20:45,889 LOUISE: The Last Supper Seafood in Greenpoint, North Carolina, 517 00:20:45,956 --> 00:20:47,058 on South Main. 518 00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:49,530 Two hour parking strictly enforced, no squatters. 519 00:20:49,597 --> 00:20:51,400 (cheering) 520 00:20:54,439 --> 00:20:57,680 Well, turns out Lord Lobster never did open that restaurant. 521 00:20:57,747 --> 00:20:59,684 Not because of the commercial, of course‐‐ 522 00:20:59,751 --> 00:21:01,387 the commercial was pure crap‐‐ 523 00:21:01,453 --> 00:21:03,391 but because the CEO of Lord Lobster 524 00:21:03,457 --> 00:21:04,794 turned out to be a pedophile. 525 00:21:04,861 --> 00:21:06,831 So they had bigger fish to fry. 526 00:21:06,898 --> 00:21:10,405 And as for me, well, I got more towns to save. 527 00:21:14,714 --> 00:21:16,450 What? No. 528 00:21:26,136 --> 00:21:28,107 ‐(meows) ‐(horn honks musically)