1
00:00:01,132 --> 00:00:04,376
Good evening. This is
MayKay Bueller reporting live
2
00:00:04,377 --> 00:00:06,678
from outside
the Greenpoint Mall,
3
00:00:06,780 --> 00:00:09,247
where hours from now
it's gonna be exploded
4
00:00:09,349 --> 00:00:12,050
into itty-bitty smithereens.
5
00:00:12,152 --> 00:00:13,718
Oooweee.
6
00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:17,956
Built way back in,
oooweee, 1994,
7
00:00:18,058 --> 00:00:20,525
the mall's design boasted
state-of-the-art
8
00:00:20,627 --> 00:00:22,293
triangles and squiggles.
9
00:00:22,395 --> 00:00:23,928
Oooweee.
10
00:00:24,030 --> 00:00:27,565
But it lost its mojo thanks
to changing consumer habits
11
00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:31,002
and countless dressing room
camera scandals.
12
00:00:31,104 --> 00:00:33,838
It finally closed in 2010.
13
00:00:33,940 --> 00:00:38,443
Mayor Webb, are you all set
for the big demolition?
14
00:00:38,545 --> 00:00:40,385
You're just gonna get your mouth
right up there
15
00:00:40,409 --> 00:00:43,315
- on that squishy bulb.
- We sure are.
16
00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:45,750
This town loves a big explosion,
17
00:00:45,852 --> 00:00:47,919
especially around Halloween.
18
00:00:48,021 --> 00:00:50,755
Don't we, gang?
19
00:00:54,027 --> 00:00:55,460
I really wish
they wouldn't do this.
20
00:00:55,562 --> 00:00:58,797
Oh, me neither.
This mall was all our whorlds.
21
00:00:58,899 --> 00:01:01,432
No, I mean them.
Why are they sneaking in?
22
00:01:01,535 --> 00:01:03,335
Wayne, we're not sneaking in.
They invited us.
23
00:01:03,359 --> 00:01:06,171
They're having a final mall walk
for superfans of the mall.
24
00:01:06,273 --> 00:01:08,707
And this whole place
is a perfectly preserved
25
00:01:08,844 --> 00:01:12,143
time capsule of America's
most glorious disaster:
26
00:01:12,245 --> 00:01:14,379
The early 2000s.
27
00:01:14,481 --> 00:01:16,648
An era of fashion that was
the most accessorized
28
00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:18,883
but also, somehow,
the least attractive
29
00:01:18,985 --> 00:01:20,385
I know there will be
something perfect
30
00:01:20,420 --> 00:01:21,553
for my Halloween costume
in there.
31
00:01:21,655 --> 00:01:22,921
What is your Halloween costume?
32
00:01:23,023 --> 00:01:26,357
Violet, I don't choose the costume.
The costume chooses me.
33
00:01:26,459 --> 00:01:28,526
Jenny, that flier doesn't
make any sense.
34
00:01:28,628 --> 00:01:30,395
If they're having an event here,
35
00:01:30,497 --> 00:01:32,664
why does everything say
"Danger, Stay Out"?
36
00:01:32,766 --> 00:01:35,567
If it said "Come On In,"
I wouldn't want to go.
37
00:01:35,669 --> 00:01:39,971
- Ooh, secret entrance.
- Entrances should never be secret.
38
00:01:42,075 --> 00:01:45,543
Oh, neat! Rats.
I do not feel good about this.
39
00:01:45,645 --> 00:01:48,179
That's odd, 'cause I've never
felt better about
40
00:01:48,281 --> 00:01:50,081
anything in my life.
41
00:02:20,286 --> 00:02:23,364
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
42
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:37,792
- Yah!
- Chaboogity boogity!
43
00:02:39,149 --> 00:02:42,150
Wayne, I know that Mom screaming
"Chaboogity boogity"
44
00:02:42,252 --> 00:02:45,119
was way out of line,
but also, you need to chill.
45
00:02:45,221 --> 00:02:46,921
- It's the mannequins.
- What?
46
00:02:47,023 --> 00:02:48,756
Wayne's afraid of mannequins.
47
00:02:48,858 --> 00:02:50,691
I'm just saying
there are a million reasons
48
00:02:50,794 --> 00:02:53,135
not to go in here right now.
Starting with
49
00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:55,430
- the fact that it's condemned.
- It's mannequins.
50
00:02:55,532 --> 00:02:57,632
- And we're trespassing.
- Totally mannequins.
51
00:02:57,734 --> 00:03:00,574
- And the ceiling is riddled with asbestos.
- It's mannequins. Mannequins.
52
00:03:00,637 --> 00:03:03,838
- And it's wired with a million pounds of explosives.
- Mannequins. Mannequins.
53
00:03:03,940 --> 00:03:05,373
- It's mannequins.
- Okay, fine!
54
00:03:05,475 --> 00:03:07,842
Like every right-thinking
person in America,
55
00:03:07,944 --> 00:03:09,710
I am wary of mannequins.
56
00:03:09,813 --> 00:03:12,680
What are they?
Are they alive or dead?
57
00:03:12,782 --> 00:03:14,816
No one knows!
But what we do know is that
58
00:03:14,918 --> 00:03:18,653
they are extremely susceptible
to being inhabited by spirits.
59
00:03:18,755 --> 00:03:21,055
We all saw the movie "Mannequin."
60
00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:23,357
I mean, that idea
doesn't come from nowhere.
61
00:03:23,460 --> 00:03:26,294
Oh, God. No...
Oh, there's another one!
62
00:03:26,396 --> 00:03:28,463
They're teaming up.
One just touched my butt.
63
00:03:28,565 --> 00:03:30,231
Get 'em off me.
Please, God!
64
00:03:30,333 --> 00:03:32,900
Good Lord.
65
00:03:33,002 --> 00:03:35,837
Oh, my God, it clawed
its way into my shirt!
66
00:03:35,939 --> 00:03:38,072
Why isn't anyone helping me?
67
00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:40,274
'Cause you're in zero danger?
68
00:03:40,376 --> 00:03:42,343
Oh, come on, guys,
everyone has phobias.
69
00:03:42,445 --> 00:03:46,013
Don't make fun of Wayne's.
Here, Wayne, I got you.
70
00:03:50,253 --> 00:03:53,020
Come on, let's walk down
this memory lane.
71
00:03:55,758 --> 00:03:59,961
- Violet Elizabeth, look.
- Oh, my God.
72
00:04:00,063 --> 00:04:02,864
- It's retail Indiana Jones.
- Peanut Shack.
73
00:04:02,966 --> 00:04:05,032
Radio Shack.
Popcorn Barn.
74
00:04:05,135 --> 00:04:06,834
- Record Barn.
- Dress Barn.
75
00:04:06,936 --> 00:04:08,069
Hickory Farms.
76
00:04:08,171 --> 00:04:10,138
Oh, I just love
that they're calling it out...
77
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:13,441
that basically humans are just
all consumer chattel.
78
00:04:13,543 --> 00:04:15,443
Rainforest Café?
79
00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:18,779
You kids are lucky if you get
to see a Rainforest Café.
80
00:04:18,882 --> 00:04:21,883
Sadly, these very important
restaurants are disappearing
81
00:04:21,985 --> 00:04:25,086
- before our very eyes.
- It's a tragedy what's happening
82
00:04:25,188 --> 00:04:27,221
to the Rainforest Cafés, y'all.
83
00:04:27,323 --> 00:04:32,493
- Oh... mall... God.
- Stunned silence.
84
00:04:32,595 --> 00:04:34,495
Explain to me
what I'm seeing right now
85
00:04:34,597 --> 00:04:37,299
- before I pass out.
- Oh, yeah. Your mom never told you?
86
00:04:37,333 --> 00:04:39,300
She was the face
of Greenpoint Mall.
87
00:04:39,402 --> 00:04:41,469
Got discovered by
a famous photographer.
88
00:04:41,571 --> 00:04:43,070
God, we were so cool.
89
00:04:43,173 --> 00:04:45,740
♪ Oh... ♪
90
00:04:45,842 --> 00:04:47,675
Whasssuup?
91
00:04:47,777 --> 00:04:49,177
Whasssuup?!
92
00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:52,180
Young ladies, the samples are
only for paying customers.
93
00:04:52,282 --> 00:04:54,415
I'd like to see you try
to get it off my face
94
00:04:54,517 --> 00:04:56,784
and back into that tube, beeyach.
95
00:04:56,886 --> 00:05:00,254
- Do it. Do it!
- We're young and hot. Deal with it.
96
00:05:03,092 --> 00:05:05,092
I'm only getting pennies
down here.
97
00:05:05,195 --> 00:05:06,445
There's no way we'll be able
98
00:05:06,446 --> 00:05:09,263
to afford an albino snake
with this BS.
99
00:05:09,365 --> 00:05:11,266
All the big money's up top.
Launch me!
100
00:05:11,518 --> 00:05:12,957
♪ Fall out ♪
101
00:05:13,025 --> 00:05:14,160
♪ I like it when you,
uh, uh ♪
102
00:05:14,259 --> 00:05:16,657
♪ Girl, baby, make it,
uh, uh. ♪
103
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,724
Wow. I'm looking for the right girl.
104
00:05:19,826 --> 00:05:21,559
I think I just found her.
105
00:05:21,661 --> 00:05:23,862
Wait, so some
40-year-old guy
106
00:05:23,863 --> 00:05:27,598
asked you to model for him,
and you said yes?
107
00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:29,100
Violet, come on, now.
108
00:05:29,169 --> 00:05:31,169
If 40-year-old men stopped
wanting to take pictures
109
00:05:31,271 --> 00:05:33,805
of 15-year-old girls,
there wouldn't even be models.
110
00:05:33,907 --> 00:05:36,942
- Now, is that the world you want?
- A hundred percent.
111
00:05:36,976 --> 00:05:38,209
Well, this guy wasn't creepy.
112
00:05:38,311 --> 00:05:40,011
He was legit.
He had a business card.
113
00:05:40,113 --> 00:05:42,547
He had disco lights
in his Humvee, a pinky ring...
114
00:05:42,649 --> 00:05:43,649
Okay, now I'm hearing it.
115
00:05:43,683 --> 00:05:45,583
Did he make you jump
in every shot?
116
00:05:45,685 --> 00:05:47,552
He just liked when my
volleyball skort flew up.
117
00:05:47,654 --> 00:05:50,488
- Oh, yeah, now I'm really hearing it now.
- But it all worked out.
118
00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:54,058
I mean, girl, that picture is bangin'.
119
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,394
Here, let me get it for you.
120
00:05:56,496 --> 00:05:59,197
Aw, hell no.
121
00:05:59,232 --> 00:06:01,399
Someone donged it?
No worries, girl.
122
00:06:01,501 --> 00:06:03,434
Here, there's more posters
over there.
123
00:06:04,504 --> 00:06:06,838
Oh, damn, these are all
donged up, too.
124
00:06:06,940 --> 00:06:09,173
This one's got devil horns
made of dongs.
125
00:06:09,275 --> 00:06:10,842
This one's got
a bouquet of dongs.
126
00:06:10,944 --> 00:06:13,544
This one, the water skis
are dongs.
127
00:06:13,646 --> 00:06:16,380
I mean, I hate who did this,
and I will kill them,
128
00:06:16,483 --> 00:06:19,050
but this is some really
solid dong work.
129
00:06:19,152 --> 00:06:21,252
Who would do this?
So rude.
130
00:06:21,354 --> 00:06:23,321
How would anyone deface
the queen of the mall?
131
00:06:23,423 --> 00:06:25,023
I mean, I'm not bragging,
I'm just saying
132
00:06:25,047 --> 00:06:26,791
have some respect for the office.
133
00:06:26,893 --> 00:06:28,653
Well, we've all had
an experience here today.
134
00:06:28,728 --> 00:06:30,261
Great fun, a lot of lessons.
135
00:06:30,363 --> 00:06:33,165
Let's call it and head outside
before we get blown up
136
00:06:33,166 --> 00:06:35,892
- or assaulted by a mannequin.
- Wayne, we got to find
137
00:06:35,927 --> 00:06:39,504
- at least one dong-free picture of me.
- Yep. And I'm here to get my loot on.
138
00:06:39,606 --> 00:06:42,106
Mother, you already looted
this place the week it closed.
139
00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:44,041
Yeah, and I hid some stuff
I couldn't carry.
140
00:06:44,144 --> 00:06:45,584
It's time for me to claim
141
00:06:45,612 --> 00:06:47,292
what is wrongfully mine.
142
00:06:47,316 --> 00:06:49,950
Violet, it's calling to me.
143
00:06:50,984 --> 00:06:52,150
Something's happening.
144
00:06:52,252 --> 00:06:55,419
The spirit of early 2000s
teen drama characters
145
00:06:55,522 --> 00:06:59,524
- is washing over me.
- Ooh, Dawson's Creek.
146
00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:01,959
Felicity.
The O.C.
147
00:07:02,061 --> 00:07:03,461
The brooding, the drama,
148
00:07:03,530 --> 00:07:05,429
the almost unbearable
teen angst.
149
00:07:05,532 --> 00:07:09,734
- Don't fight it, David.
- I'm not David.
150
00:07:09,836 --> 00:07:12,003
I'm Joshua Hartnett Arquette,
151
00:07:12,105 --> 00:07:15,006
and it's 2002,
and I'm the assistant manager
152
00:07:15,108 --> 00:07:17,642
at Wet Seal...
and I have a secret.
153
00:07:17,744 --> 00:07:19,710
And I'm Britney Tree Hill.
154
00:07:19,812 --> 00:07:21,512
I work at Wet Seal, too.
155
00:07:21,614 --> 00:07:25,316
My dad owns this town,
but he doesn't own me.
156
00:07:25,418 --> 00:07:28,352
Boy, y'all are dead set on not
having a third friend, huh?
157
00:07:28,454 --> 00:07:31,489
Listen, Jenny, none of your mall
friends showed up for this walk.
158
00:07:31,491 --> 00:07:33,291
Probably because
it's a terrible idea
159
00:07:33,393 --> 00:07:35,593
- and this place is creepy as hell.
- Hi.
160
00:07:37,697 --> 00:07:40,131
Are you guys here
for the mall walk, too?
161
00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:43,100
Yes. See, Wayne, other people
are starting to come in.
162
00:07:43,203 --> 00:07:46,237
Hold the flip phone.
Is that Jenny Hart,
163
00:07:46,339 --> 00:07:47,872
the face of the Greenpoint Mall?
164
00:07:47,974 --> 00:07:50,711
- And her intimidating friend Brenda?
- You take that back.
165
00:07:50,746 --> 00:07:54,312
Brenda, down!
Yes, it is me.
166
00:07:54,414 --> 00:07:55,734
I can't believe
you recognized me.
167
00:07:55,758 --> 00:07:57,715
I mean, my face is everywhere,
but still...
168
00:07:57,817 --> 00:08:00,017
Of course I recognize you.
169
00:08:00,119 --> 00:08:04,789
- Don't you recognize me?
- Yeah... yeah...
170
00:08:04,891 --> 00:08:07,892
I totally remember you.
You're...
171
00:08:07,994 --> 00:08:09,260
- ...that girl...
- Stacy.
172
00:08:09,362 --> 00:08:12,129
- Stacy! Nailed it.
- That's right. I'm so glad
173
00:08:12,232 --> 00:08:13,764
I'm not the only one here.
174
00:08:13,866 --> 00:08:15,333
I just love this mall.
175
00:08:15,435 --> 00:08:18,936
You know, I used to work here.
Right at that kiosk.
176
00:08:19,038 --> 00:08:21,505
I was the very last one
to close shop.
177
00:08:21,608 --> 00:08:23,841
For a while it was
just me and Sbarro,
178
00:08:23,943 --> 00:08:25,810
and when they closed,
this place was just
179
00:08:25,912 --> 00:08:30,181
Stacy's mall!
180
00:08:30,283 --> 00:08:31,396
Hmm.
181
00:08:31,431 --> 00:08:33,084
I can bling your phones
if you want.
182
00:08:34,487 --> 00:08:38,261
Free bling?
I'm not saying no to that.
183
00:08:40,293 --> 00:08:43,427
Guys, I got a bad feeling
about Stacy. No one else
184
00:08:43,462 --> 00:08:45,363
is getting a mannequin-come-to-life
vibe from this lady?
185
00:08:45,465 --> 00:08:47,131
Okay, Wayne,
just walk me through this,
186
00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:49,153
because I feel your
theories are always evolving.
187
00:08:49,177 --> 00:08:50,068
Thank you for asking.
188
00:08:50,103 --> 00:08:52,604
My working theory is she's a
spirit with unfinished business
189
00:08:52,605 --> 00:08:54,990
caught between realms
who has commandeered
190
00:08:54,991 --> 00:08:57,375
a mannequin as a vessel for
the purpose of luring us here
191
00:08:57,477 --> 00:08:58,477
and stealing our souls.
192
00:08:58,478 --> 00:08:59,543
All done.
193
00:08:59,646 --> 00:09:03,481
- These are off the hizzy.
- Oh, I like that you kept it subtle.
194
00:09:03,583 --> 00:09:07,418
See, Wayne, she's nice.
She's a little eccentric, sure,
195
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,760
but she loves the mall, like us.
196
00:09:12,892 --> 00:09:15,226
Look. Mall rats.
197
00:09:15,328 --> 00:09:16,894
Get it?
198
00:09:16,996 --> 00:09:19,597
I mean, rats, ew. Ugh.
199
00:09:19,699 --> 00:09:23,000
I'm not friends with them.
Get away, Nelly and Fat Joe.
200
00:09:23,102 --> 00:09:25,569
Okay, maybe she's
a little weird,
201
00:09:25,672 --> 00:09:28,205
but the fun kind of weird,
you know, like-like Bjork.
202
00:09:28,308 --> 00:09:30,474
Bjork is not on a first-name
basis with rats.
203
00:09:30,576 --> 00:09:32,943
- Are we sure?
- I'll just go wait in the car.
204
00:09:33,046 --> 00:09:34,446
Sorry for my boyfriend.
205
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,981
Some people just aren't
cut out for the mall.
206
00:09:37,083 --> 00:09:38,149
Ew!
207
00:09:38,251 --> 00:09:39,984
- Oh, these are dust.
- Aah!
208
00:09:40,086 --> 00:09:42,820
It's chained shut!
Someone locked us in!
209
00:09:44,546 --> 00:09:45,556
Oh, my God!
210
00:09:45,658 --> 00:09:49,056
The monkey mannequins
are activated!
211
00:09:54,715 --> 00:09:57,950
Um, guys, this door was not
chained when we walked in.
212
00:09:58,052 --> 00:09:59,532
Wayne, maybe
this is a different door.
213
00:09:59,556 --> 00:10:01,420
No way.
This is Stacy's doing.
214
00:10:01,522 --> 00:10:04,089
If she had fingerprints,
they'd be all over this.
215
00:10:04,191 --> 00:10:05,431
- Wayne...
- Come on, man.
216
00:10:05,455 --> 00:10:07,309
She's not a mannequin.
Wayne.
217
00:10:07,344 --> 00:10:08,174
- Come on.
- Wayne, come on.
218
00:10:08,198 --> 00:10:09,095
They are not real.
219
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:10,130
- Whoopsie.
- Oh!
220
00:10:10,197 --> 00:10:13,098
Oh, my gosh,
I am so sorry about that.
221
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,134
Dale must have locked
all the security doors
222
00:10:15,236 --> 00:10:17,202
because he's a security guard.
223
00:10:17,304 --> 00:10:20,339
I guarantee you
there is no Dale.
224
00:10:20,441 --> 00:10:22,007
Hey, Dale,
I think some visitors
225
00:10:22,109 --> 00:10:25,811
accidentally got locked in.
Can you open the north doors?
226
00:10:25,913 --> 00:10:27,233
Oh, yeah.
227
00:10:27,257 --> 00:10:30,282
Hmm, seems like Dale's real.
And hilarious.
228
00:10:30,384 --> 00:10:33,218
Oh, my God, Dale!
Isn't he so funny?
229
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:37,590
- Full disclosure, we are dating.
- There, Dale's on it.
230
00:10:37,691 --> 00:10:40,092
Brenda, let's go find
a non-donged poster of me.
231
00:10:40,194 --> 00:10:41,794
Uh, y'all,
can we stick together, please?
232
00:10:41,862 --> 00:10:44,296
Ugh, I still haven't found
my Halloween costume.
233
00:10:44,398 --> 00:10:47,065
Betty, come on, you can't deny
something's off about that lady.
234
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:50,235
- Help me find another exit.
- Fine. I'm headed that way anyway.
235
00:10:50,337 --> 00:10:52,304
Got to get over
to the payphone graveyard
236
00:10:52,406 --> 00:10:54,907
to unearth
some of my stashed loot.
237
00:10:55,009 --> 00:10:57,009
Good Lord, Betty,
what could you have possibly
238
00:10:57,111 --> 00:10:58,511
stored in here ten years ago
239
00:10:58,512 --> 00:10:59,912
that would be worth
anything now?
240
00:10:59,947 --> 00:11:01,880
Oh, I don't know,
why don't you ask
241
00:11:01,982 --> 00:11:05,017
this portable DVD player
how much it's worth.
242
00:11:05,119 --> 00:11:06,839
Now all we got to do
is find where I stashed
243
00:11:06,921 --> 00:11:08,921
the cigarette lighter adapter.
244
00:11:08,922 --> 00:11:11,009
# #
245
00:11:12,493 --> 00:11:14,526
Oh, here's a good one.
246
00:11:14,628 --> 00:11:16,328
Look closer.
All your fingers got
247
00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:18,130
a little surprise on the end.
248
00:11:18,232 --> 00:11:20,299
Oh, come on.
They did that on purpose
249
00:11:20,401 --> 00:11:21,801
so we'd have to get up close.
250
00:11:21,869 --> 00:11:25,170
- Penis-drawing butts.
- I'll tell you one thing.
251
00:11:25,272 --> 00:11:28,073
No one would have gotten
away with this disrespect
252
00:11:28,175 --> 00:11:30,242
- back in the day.
- # #
253
00:11:30,344 --> 00:11:31,844
Hey, it's the poster girl.
254
00:11:31,946 --> 00:11:34,646
- Jenny, do the jump.
- Brenda, launch me!
255
00:11:34,748 --> 00:11:37,483
# #
256
00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:41,653
Can I get a picture with you?
257
00:11:41,755 --> 00:11:42,988
Sure.
258
00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:45,224
Wait, there's a camera
in your phone?
259
00:11:45,326 --> 00:11:47,659
Point five megapixels, baby.
260
00:11:48,929 --> 00:11:53,632
- That's poppin'.
- Hey, shawty, can you style me your digits?
261
00:11:53,734 --> 00:11:55,134
Dope fo-sho.
262
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:56,636
♪ One, two, three, uh ♪
263
00:11:56,670 --> 00:11:58,637
♪ My baby don't mess around ♪
264
00:11:58,739 --> 00:12:01,006
♪ Because she loves me so
and this I don't know... ♪
265
00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:04,009
Hey, Jenny, Brenda,
lookin' good.
266
00:12:04,111 --> 00:12:07,212
- How are the dogs today, Kelly?
- On a stick.
267
00:12:12,753 --> 00:12:14,319
Ooh, looking good, Glen.
268
00:12:14,421 --> 00:12:16,488
- How's Monica?
- In my rearview.
269
00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:18,357
Call me.
270
00:12:20,127 --> 00:12:23,629
Hoobastank CDs just for you two.
271
00:12:23,731 --> 00:12:27,065
♪ For sticking to-together
'cause we don't know how ♪
272
00:12:28,168 --> 00:12:31,303
- # Hey ya... #
- It's on the mall.
273
00:12:31,405 --> 00:12:34,740
Oh, Danny, what are you
doing to us?
274
00:12:34,892 --> 00:12:38,527
Oh, man, friggin' glory days.
275
00:12:38,629 --> 00:12:40,029
Brenda, I'm having
a weird thought,
276
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,572
and I need you
to talk me out of this.
277
00:12:41,626 --> 00:12:43,966
Were we kind of... stuck up?
278
00:12:45,403 --> 00:12:46,403
Brenda?
279
00:12:46,404 --> 00:12:48,702
Brenda?!
280
00:12:49,206 --> 00:12:52,040
Oh, come on, y'all.
281
00:12:52,143 --> 00:12:55,444
Come on, Betty, you already
got a tape deck audio adapter,
282
00:12:55,546 --> 00:12:58,414
seven PalmPilot
replacement styluses,
283
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,582
and an inexplicably enormous CD tower.
284
00:13:00,684 --> 00:13:02,317
What other forms
of outdated technology
285
00:13:02,420 --> 00:13:04,086
could you possibly need?
286
00:13:04,188 --> 00:13:06,348
- We got to get out of here!
- This is the mother lode.
287
00:13:06,372 --> 00:13:09,758
It looks like a Corvette, but
it actually rewinds VHS tapes.
288
00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:12,861
Okay, we can go find
your precious exit now.
289
00:13:12,963 --> 00:13:16,799
Wait. Does this nameplate
say Dale Everton?
290
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,362
# #
291
00:13:19,397 --> 00:13:21,370
Hello? Hello...
292
00:13:21,472 --> 00:13:22,872
Sir?
293
00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:27,509
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my Lord, y'all.
294
00:13:27,611 --> 00:13:28,851
Is there lipstick on that thing?
295
00:13:31,015 --> 00:13:33,148
I was right!
She was lying about Dale.
296
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:35,484
I knew she was no good.
I'm calling Jenny.
297
00:13:35,586 --> 00:13:37,653
Oh, my God, there's
a Nerds candy rope
298
00:13:37,755 --> 00:13:39,354
shoved in my SIM card slot.
299
00:13:39,457 --> 00:13:41,824
- That's what she said?
- Damn it, not now, Betty.
300
00:13:41,926 --> 00:13:43,326
My phone's not even in here.
301
00:13:43,394 --> 00:13:45,194
It's just costume gems
and chains.
302
00:13:45,296 --> 00:13:47,729
A blingy ball of junk, y'all.
303
00:13:49,266 --> 00:13:53,774
Brenda, this isn't cute anymore.
Where the hell are you?
304
00:14:07,551 --> 00:14:11,119
Oh, my God, Wayne was right.
Stacy is bad news.
305
00:14:11,222 --> 00:14:12,622
Why is she so obsessed with me?
306
00:14:12,723 --> 00:14:14,423
I got to warn
Violet and David!
307
00:14:14,525 --> 00:14:17,192
- Aah!
- Aah!
308
00:14:17,294 --> 00:14:19,895
This day could not
get any worse.
309
00:14:19,997 --> 00:14:22,064
I'm trying out
for equestrian tomorrow,
310
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:25,334
but my nemesis Kimberly
spooked my prize steed.
311
00:14:25,436 --> 00:14:29,071
Looks like I'm gonna have
to put down another horse.
312
00:14:29,173 --> 00:14:31,073
God, I wish I could see that.
313
00:14:31,175 --> 00:14:33,008
You're obviously invited, Joshua.
314
00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:35,911
- Chill. You're on the list.
- No, Britney.
315
00:14:36,013 --> 00:14:38,914
I can't see it
because... I'm blind.
316
00:14:39,016 --> 00:14:41,450
But you drove us here.
317
00:14:41,552 --> 00:14:44,753
- On pure instinct.
- Hang on, what's this?
318
00:14:44,855 --> 00:14:47,489
Don't open it, it's my mother's
eating disorder diary.
319
00:14:47,591 --> 00:14:50,709
No, David, I'm serious.
What the hell is this?
320
00:14:50,744 --> 00:14:52,628
It looks like the walkie-talkie
Stacy had.
321
00:14:52,730 --> 00:14:54,050
Oh, yeah!
322
00:14:54,064 --> 00:14:57,299
Oh, my God.
This means there's no Dale.
323
00:14:57,401 --> 00:14:59,268
David.
324
00:15:00,337 --> 00:15:02,738
- Aah!
- Oh, yeah!
325
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,208
- Jenny, Jenny...
- I already know. Lacy's bad.
326
00:15:06,310 --> 00:15:08,110
It's Stacy,
and she's a mannequin.
327
00:15:08,212 --> 00:15:11,480
And her boyfriend is, too.
Tell her, Betty.
328
00:15:11,582 --> 00:15:14,440
- Betty?
- Oh, my God. Mother?
329
00:15:14,475 --> 00:15:16,919
I got kidnapped, too, you dummy!
330
00:15:18,021 --> 00:15:20,321
♪ I'm like a bird ♪
331
00:15:20,423 --> 00:15:23,658
♪ I'll only fly away ♪
332
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,827
- # I don't know where my soul is #
333
00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:30,417
♪ I don't know
where my home is. ♪
334
00:15:33,385 --> 00:15:35,451
# I'm like a bird #
335
00:15:35,553 --> 00:15:37,820
♪ I'll only fly away... ♪
336
00:15:37,923 --> 00:15:40,290
Okay, listen,
we got the upper hand here.
337
00:15:40,392 --> 00:15:42,625
I'll take the elevator and
come up to her from behind.
338
00:15:42,727 --> 00:15:45,895
You take the escalator
and distract her from the front.
339
00:15:45,997 --> 00:15:47,931
- Perfect plan.
- You ready?
340
00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:49,999
One, two...
341
00:15:50,101 --> 00:15:52,535
I'm sorry, Jenny.
I forgot that, on principle,
342
00:15:52,637 --> 00:15:54,470
I won't hit a woman.
343
00:15:54,572 --> 00:15:56,072
You don't even think
she is a woman.
344
00:15:56,174 --> 00:15:57,807
Well, she's still shaped like one.
345
00:15:57,909 --> 00:16:01,110
Look who's here.
The queen of the mall.
346
00:16:01,212 --> 00:16:03,913
Stacy, what are you doing?
You can't just tie people up.
347
00:16:04,015 --> 00:16:06,015
Let 'em go!
I'll help you.
348
00:16:06,117 --> 00:16:08,084
Oh, I'm afraid I can't do that.
349
00:16:08,186 --> 00:16:11,654
But while they're all tied up,
why not have a picnic with me?
350
00:16:11,756 --> 00:16:13,489
I got all the best mall food.
351
00:16:13,591 --> 00:16:16,459
I got Panda Express,
Dippin' Dots, and look,
352
00:16:16,561 --> 00:16:17,961
a King Cheesesteak Potato
353
00:16:18,029 --> 00:16:21,030
from the Great American
Potato Company. Mmm.
354
00:16:21,132 --> 00:16:24,555
No, Tracy! This food is so moldy
it's practically penicillin.
355
00:16:24,602 --> 00:16:29,138
You build up a tolerance, Jenny!
And the name is Stacy!
356
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,807
Jenny, there's a kill switch.
357
00:16:30,909 --> 00:16:32,642
Yeah, but how
am I gonna get there?
358
00:16:32,744 --> 00:16:33,810
Do your jump, girl.
359
00:16:33,912 --> 00:16:36,813
I don't think I can.
I'm not the same person I was.
360
00:16:36,915 --> 00:16:39,616
- Come on, I believe in you.
- Do the jump!
361
00:16:40,573 --> 00:16:43,853
# #
362
00:16:43,955 --> 00:16:45,887
# #
363
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:49,826
Okay, that's on me.
364
00:16:49,928 --> 00:16:51,427
Why are you doing this,
Stephanie?
365
00:16:51,529 --> 00:16:55,932
Stacy! Stacy! Stacy!
Why is it so hard to remember?
366
00:16:56,034 --> 00:16:58,868
It's the most clichéd name
for a mall rat.
367
00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,436
While the whole world
368
00:17:00,538 --> 00:17:03,539
was celebrating you,
Jennifer Hart,
369
00:17:03,641 --> 00:17:05,208
I was there, too.
370
00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:07,410
Let me refresh your memory.
371
00:17:09,447 --> 00:17:11,848
I love you, Jenny!
372
00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:13,416
Could you sign my poster?
373
00:17:13,518 --> 00:17:14,951
Hey, can I get
a picture with you?
374
00:17:17,122 --> 00:17:19,022
You guys wanna hang out?
375
00:17:19,124 --> 00:17:21,157
# #
376
00:17:26,331 --> 00:17:28,865
Uh-uh, this is for Jenny Hart.
377
00:17:30,769 --> 00:17:33,302
# #
378
00:17:40,011 --> 00:17:42,412
Oh, yeah, we were
definitely bitches.
379
00:17:42,514 --> 00:17:46,616
- Stacy, I'm really sorry.
- Too little too late.
380
00:17:46,718 --> 00:17:49,452
I dedicated my life to you...
and my book,
381
00:17:49,554 --> 00:17:50,820
Mall In The Family, colon,
382
00:17:50,922 --> 00:17:52,522
Friendship Is A Kiosk
Named Love.
383
00:17:52,624 --> 00:17:54,290
On sale now at Waldenbooks.
384
00:17:54,392 --> 00:17:55,491
Aw, it's closed.
385
00:17:55,593 --> 00:17:57,393
Don't you get it?!
The mall is closed!
386
00:17:57,495 --> 00:17:59,729
You're closed.
This mall was my life.
387
00:17:59,831 --> 00:18:02,732
Even after they shuttered it,
I kept coming back day after day
388
00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:05,535
hoping that maybe Jenny Hart
would hang out with me.
389
00:18:05,637 --> 00:18:08,471
And then I figured out a way
to get Jenny Hart here.
390
00:18:08,573 --> 00:18:10,606
- The flier.
- And now that you're here,
391
00:18:10,708 --> 00:18:13,443
you get to die with me.
Y'all do.
392
00:18:13,545 --> 00:18:17,346
- And she just lost me.
- She just lost you?
393
00:18:17,449 --> 00:18:20,950
So now we get to transition
to the great mall in the sky.
394
00:18:21,052 --> 00:18:23,986
And you can be the queen,
and we'll be together
395
00:18:24,089 --> 00:18:27,290
Forever... 21.
396
00:18:27,392 --> 00:18:29,692
Wayne, you untied yourself.
397
00:18:29,794 --> 00:18:33,429
- Get us the hell off this thing.
- Yep, that's the plan.
398
00:18:33,531 --> 00:18:35,198
Just having a...
399
00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:37,060
...little bit of trouble moving
with her, uh,
400
00:18:37,102 --> 00:18:39,422
mannequin boyfriend staring right at me.
401
00:18:39,446 --> 00:18:41,843
Wait, that's right.
He's her boyfriend.
402
00:18:41,906 --> 00:18:43,406
He's our way out of this.
403
00:18:43,508 --> 00:18:46,109
The one thing that will
get to her is jealousy.
404
00:18:46,211 --> 00:18:47,743
It's classic teen drama stuff.
405
00:18:47,846 --> 00:18:49,946
- So what do I do?
- You know what to do.
406
00:18:50,048 --> 00:18:51,448
Make her jealous
with a performance
407
00:18:51,549 --> 00:18:53,316
worthy of a Teen Choice Award.
408
00:18:53,418 --> 00:18:55,651
Oh, my God, you're right.
409
00:19:01,793 --> 00:19:04,594
Oh, no, Joshua,
is that Dale making out
410
00:19:04,696 --> 00:19:06,917
with the captain
of the lacrosse team?
411
00:19:06,952 --> 00:19:08,664
The day before regionals?
412
00:19:08,766 --> 00:19:10,700
# #
413
00:19:14,139 --> 00:19:15,571
♪ Kiss me ♪
414
00:19:15,673 --> 00:19:18,741
♪ Out of the bearded barley ♪
415
00:19:18,843 --> 00:19:21,277
♪ Nightly, beside... ♪
416
00:19:21,379 --> 00:19:24,880
No! He said he would
wait for me!
417
00:19:27,285 --> 00:19:30,520
♪ Mm, what'd you say? ♪
418
00:19:30,622 --> 00:19:32,355
He can't swim!
419
00:19:32,457 --> 00:19:34,991
You monster! Aah!
420
00:19:35,093 --> 00:19:37,393
♪ Mm, what'd you say? ♪
421
00:19:38,229 --> 00:19:41,664
Wayne, you freakin' saved all
our lives. You were so brave.
422
00:19:41,766 --> 00:19:44,200
You totally went to second
base with a mannequin.
423
00:19:44,302 --> 00:19:46,769
Yeah, it used to be a mannequin
would wipe your mind
424
00:19:46,871 --> 00:19:48,704
after something like this,
but nowadays,
425
00:19:48,806 --> 00:19:51,774
- they have no decency.
- Oh, good Lord.
426
00:19:51,876 --> 00:19:55,359
Jenny, here you go.
I went back in and got this.
427
00:19:56,447 --> 00:19:59,182
Yeah, you know what,
428
00:19:59,284 --> 00:20:02,718
I think maybe this version of me
should just stay in the past.
429
00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:05,888
Okay, I just risked my life
going back in there,
430
00:20:05,990 --> 00:20:07,390
but...
Whatev.
431
00:20:07,492 --> 00:20:09,959
We've talked about it,
and we think it's best
432
00:20:10,061 --> 00:20:12,195
that Britney and Joshua
die with the mall, too.
433
00:20:12,297 --> 00:20:14,363
Aw, but they were really
growing on me.
434
00:20:14,465 --> 00:20:16,566
Don't worry,
their secret identical twins
435
00:20:16,668 --> 00:20:18,308
will collect the life insurance.
436
00:20:18,369 --> 00:20:20,903
Do you mean
Christina Courtney Lohan
437
00:20:21,005 --> 00:20:23,139
and Logan Romijn Stamos?
438
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:24,392
# #
439
00:20:27,871 --> 00:20:29,273
Guys, here it comes!
440
00:20:29,434 --> 00:20:31,569
Oooweee. This just in.
441
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,174
A Greenpoint family
was trapped inside the mall
442
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:38,245
with a crazy woman,
but made a dramatic escape.
443
00:20:38,347 --> 00:20:42,216
An anonymous redheaded source
tells us that Wayne Edwards
444
00:20:42,318 --> 00:20:46,120
tricked the captor by
locking lips with a mannequin.
445
00:20:46,222 --> 00:20:49,456
Talk about ooowee.
446
00:20:49,558 --> 00:20:50,958
Does everyone need to know that?
447
00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:53,961
With me now is longtime
mall security guard
448
00:20:54,063 --> 00:20:55,662
Dale Everton.
449
00:20:55,765 --> 00:20:56,765
What?
450
00:20:56,866 --> 00:21:00,367
Dale, will it be sad
to see the mall exploded?
451
00:21:00,469 --> 00:21:02,636
Well, it was
a big part of my life.
452
00:21:02,738 --> 00:21:04,705
I met my girlfriend Stacy there.
453
00:21:04,807 --> 00:21:07,207
Although she passed in 2002.
454
00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:09,209
She got caught up in the carousel.
455
00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:12,045
- Oh, what?!
- All right, looks like
456
00:21:12,148 --> 00:21:15,115
the moment is finally here.
457
00:21:20,856 --> 00:21:23,223
All right, got all
the mannequins out of there.
458
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:24,758
Haul 'em away.
459
00:21:24,860 --> 00:21:27,694
♪ Kiss me ♪
460
00:21:27,797 --> 00:21:30,826
♪ Out of the bearded barley... ♪
461
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,398
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~