- I could tell you about the first time
I committed armed robbery.
Put your hands on your fucking head!
I'm not fucking with you!
Open the register!
Get the money, get the money!
I'll blow your fucking head off!
Things didn't get bad
until I started doing heroin
with her.
- I think you mentioned her at a meeting.
What happened with her?
- Fuck. You just never think it's gonna happen to you.
Do you?
That things could get that bad.
That dark.
You're my sponsor, so I guess I'll just tell you everything.
- I'd just got back a from three month North American tour with my band .
♪ Hoo-Hoo-Hoo ♪
- Partying hard
in a different city every nigh.
I was burnt out.
My aunt had just retired and moved to Mexico for a year.
She let me stay in her cabin while she was gone.
Just off the Fraser River, with the endless farmlands
of the delta to the south.
I thought it'd be a great place to dry out after the tour.
- Holy!
This place is the shit.
- Cole was the first friend I made
when I moved to Vancouver for high school.
- Yes.
It's all fuckin' trees!
- Yeah man
Ah.
I think I'm gonna hold back on the partying
for a little while.
This tour was intense.
Going fucking crazy every night.
Way too much blow.
- Yeah, I haven't been drinking much lately
now that I'm in training.
If you wanna come by the gym sometime
and get back in shape just let me know.
- Sick, yeah.
Yeah, I might do that.
- Hey, did Jonesy come back into town with you guys?
I texted him but the prick never got back to me.
- Jonesy actually picked up a roadie gig in Boston
so he's touring the States for a few months.
- Nice.
Good for him.
- Oh yeah, I might be having
a little get-together here next week.
Nothing crazy, just, you know, just chill.
But I'll let you know what night.
Nothing crazy?
- Nah.
- Sounds good, sounds good.
- I started getting up early.
Eating only healthy foods.
I had a new routine.
After my morning smoothie, I'd meditate for half an hour.
Then I'd go for a run.
Some days I'd train with Cole at his gym.
Then I'd spend the rest of the afternoon reading.
In the evenings I'd go down to the lookout
on the dock with my notebook.
Write lyrics and watch the sunset.
Hey.
You're in my spot.
- Am I?
- 'Fraid so.
- Well, I guess that's too bad for you.
- I haven't seen you before.
You live around here?
- Maybe I do.
Maybe I don't.
- Oh, I see how it is.
Okay, well if you don't, maybe you should get the fuck
off this lookout.
Locals only.
- Well maybe...
you should go fuck yourself.
- Maybe I will.
- Okay, have fun with that.
- Oh, it's gonna be a blast.
Oh shit, you're reading Bukowski?
I have that exact same edition.
He's, like, one of my all time favorite writers.
- You know, for an asshole,
you have pretty good taste in authors.
- I'm actually not an asshole.
My name's Travis.
- Zoe.
- Nice to meet you.
- What do you got there?
- This is a notebook.
- Wow.
- Yeah, I usually come out here every evening alone,
chill out and write.
- What are you writing?
- Mostly song lyrics.
- Read me some lyrics.
- You never answered my question.
Do you live around here?
- No, I don't.
I actually live in the United States of America.
- Shit, you're American?
- Yeah.
- So, what are you doing in Canada?
- You know, how 'bout let's play a little guessing game?
- Sure.
- Either A, I'm here to legally marry my lesbian lover,
B, I'm visiting a friend,
or C, I'm here to pursue my career in porn.
- Okay.
First impressions, I'd go with C.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
But I'm gonna go with B, visiting a friend.
- Is that your final answer?
- I would like to lock that in.
- Bingo.
I'm just visiting a friend who lives up the road.
- Cool.
So, what part of the States do you live in?
- Right now I'm in Brooklyn, but I travel a lot.
- Nice.
Yeah, me and my band were just playing a show
in New York last month.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Oh shit. Sorry, one sec.
Hey, what's up man?
You're here already?
Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there.
All right, bye.
Sorry about that.
Me and my buddies are actually planning
this little get-together tonight.
- Cool.
- Hey, if you're not doing anything,
do you wanna come by?
- Um, I don't know, I'll have to see
what my friend is up to.
- You can bring your friend if you want.
- I mean, you did promise me you'd read me
some of your lyrics, so...
- You gotta show up first.
- We'll see.
- I live three houses up River Road.
It's the big cabin there on the right.
Come by any time.
Fuck, I gotta go.
I'll see you later?
- Maybe.
- Hey man, what's up?
Yeah, yeah, just come by.
What?
No, no.
I told you, we're not having a party.
It's just gonna be a chill get-together.
'Cause I'm taking it easy right now
and that means don't bring any fucking cocaine.
- Let's get fucking weird!
♪ It goes round and round baby upside down ♪
♪ Runnin' runnin' round all around this town ♪
♪ Never been lost and you'll never be found ♪
♪ Just wanna get up she don't wanna come down ♪
♪ Round and round baby upside down ♪
♪ Runnin' runnin' round all around this town ♪
♪ Never been lost and you'll never be found ♪
♪ Just wanna get up she don't wanna come down ♪
- You're up.
- Thank you.
- Good to have you back.
- Whoo!
It is good to be back.
Oh, that is some fire shit. - ZOE: Hey.
- Oh, shit.
I didn't know if you were gonna come.
- Here I am.
I tried to get my friend to come by
but she's not feeling very well tonight.
- Oh, it's all good, I'm just glad you came.
Oh, this is Zoe.
- Oh hey, Katie, nice to meet you.
- Likewise.
- Me and Katie went to high school together.
- He was a little shit disturber
when he first moved here.
- Oh, I can see he hasn't changed at all.
- Oh, I like this girl.
You have to be careful with these rock musician types.
Especially the guitar players.
- Whatever, you used to date a hip-hop producer.
- Yeah, and it was fucked.
No, we're still good friends though.
Have you heard of Ca$h Dirty?
He has a couple songs on the radio.
- I don't think I have.
- Hey, do you want a beer, vodka, wine?
- Vodka's good.
- Vodka it is.
Do you take soda or...
- No.
- Shit, okay.
Straight from the bottle.
- Holy shit.
Dang, you're a champ.
- Power stance.
Oh shit, what's up?
Hold on one second.
Sorry, I'll be right back, okay? - Okay.
- What's up, man?
- You want a line?
- Fuck yeah.
- So, what do you do in Brooklyn?
- I just graduated from art school
and so now I'm taking a year off and traveling.
- Cool.
Where have you been so far?
I was in Europe a few months ago,
and kind of went all over.
- Nice, I love Europe.
I think Croatia's my favorite.
It's so beautiful.
- Yes, absolutely.
- Hey, sorry about that.
- Oh, hello.
- Hey, let me introduce you to a few people, okay?
- Okay.
Bye.
- Bye.
- Hey Laz, what's up man?
- Trav man.
Wicked party bro!
- Laz is a DJ, he plays keyboards.
- Gimme some skin.
Hey, Zoe.
- She's visiting from Brooklyn.
- Fuck yeah.
View the world, man.
- Yeah we met... how did we meet?
- At the smoke pit at that Tragically Hip concert, man!
Yeah.
Got inspired, started a band.
- The rest is history, baby.
- The rest is history, man.
Take it easy, brother.
- What's up, how you doing? - What's up, man.
Fuck, I missed you.
- I missed you too, man.
- This guy is fucking insane.
- Tell me about it.
- Okay, when he moved from Ontario
this guy would drink in the middle of the fucking day.
One time he ran naked
fucking holding a fire extinguisher
running through the school
with the fire extinguisher above your head
and everybody just stopped
and they just fucking looked at you.
- Recreate that tonight maybe?
- Yeah, tonight is the night.
I like her.
- Destroyed it!
Destroyed it.
Drink up.
Oh, what's up, dude.
What's up, man?
- Hey, this is Jason, he's the lead singer of our band.
This is Zoe. - Hello.
- Oh, hey Zoe, how's it going?
- She's visiting from Brooklyn.
- So this is, fucking, a bad-ass guitar player.
I just want to let you know.
Although he's kind of the looks in the band.
Like, we're the talent, I'm the talent, he's the looks.
- Right. - Even though I write
all the lyrics?
- Okay, his lyrics are pretty fucking good. What can I say?
He's got the talent and the fucking looks.
What can I say?
Alright, you guys have a good night.
Cheers, I'll talk to you later.
- Yeah, see ya bro. - Are we gonna rehearse
a bit later?
In like a month? - Yeah, a month.
- You gotta recover from the tour you motherfucker.
- Yeah, so those are the guys I was on tour with.
- Cool.
- I wish you could meet my best friend, Jonesy, though.
He's our roadie.
He's on tour with another band right now.
- You guys must be doing pretty well
if you have a roadie who tours with you.
- Yeah, we're not doing too bad.
Our label let's us put out whatever music we want
and we have enough fans that follow us around,
so yeah, we're doing okay.
- Speaking of music...
I think it's time you read me some of your lyrics?
Yeah, my notebook's in my bedroom
if you wanna go check 'em out?
- Bedroom, huh?
Moving a little quick there, rock star.
- No, I didn't mean that.
- I'm just fucking with you.
Let's go.
- You are trouble.
Come on.
Oh.
What's up, guys?
- Oh, shit!
- You need the room?
- No, it's all good.
Just grabbing something real quick.
- Oh, okay, great.
- This is Zoe, she's from Brooklyn.
- Hi Zoe from Brooklyn.
- Hi.
- You kids have fun. - We will.
- Bye.
- Hey, I've got some blow from a friend of mine
if you want some.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm down.
I wrote something you might like.
- Tradesies?
- "Under the surface we're skin deep.
"Like twisted ivy crawling up our hands and feet.
"Do you feel like a fortune you can't steal
with a golden remedy?"
- You like that?
- Are you gonna grab my tits or just be a little pussy?
It's supposed to be really good shit.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- What the fuck?
That's not blow.
- Ugh
- Shit, it's H.
- What?
Fucking heroin?
- Yeah, it must have got mixed up.
It happens on the east coast.
All the time.
It's okay.
I've done it before.
You just have to embrace it.
Don't try and fight the high.
It's okay.
I've done it before.
You have to embrace it.
- They always say that the first time
you try heroin is the best.
After that, you're just forever chasing
that initial feeling.
It felt like all of my best friends
were hugging me at once.
And for the first time in my life
everything was gonna be alrigh.
I was in love.
- With Zoe or with heroin?
- Both.
I'd never met someone so alive.
Great sense of humor.
Always fucking with me.
She was so free and unafraid.
At night, we'd drink wine and make love.
I didn't really think about where it was heading.
There was a chance it was temporary
because she was just visiting.
We were living every day in the moment.
- What about the heroin?
- It didn't even come up again until after a couple weeks.
- Hey, so my flight back to New York is for Monday.
- Shit.
Can you stay longer?
- I don't know.
I don't know if I can stay with my friend anymore.
She has someone moving in with her.
- Stay with me.
Really?
- Yeah.
- Come on, you've been at my house almost every night anyways.
- Yeah, but it's different when you live together
and there's no where to give each other space.
And I don't know if you can handle me.
I'm a passionate, vivacious woman who doesn't take any shit.
- Oh I can handle it.
Can you handle me?
'Cause I'm a fucking wild man.
- Did you like it that first night we met?
- The heroin?
Yeah, it was fucking amazing.
I wasn't really planning on doing it again.
- It's the last of it from that night.
- Maybe just a little bump.
When we finished up Zoe's stash we had to find a new dealer
'cause her friend said she couldn't remember
where she got it.
- So who'd you go to?
- Well I had never been around much heroin.
But I knew one guy who had.
- Sorry I couldn't make it to your get-together, man,
I had some shit going on I couldn't get out of.
How was it?
- It was dope.
Yeah, it was more of a full-on party.
Heh.
I met this girl.
- I fucking knew it when you rolled up today
looking all smitten and shit.
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, she's fucking awesome, man.
She's American.
- American?
Oh, shit.
Well, that's a whole different ballgame.
- She's a bit wild.
- A bit wild, hm?
She's American.
- But she's so much fun to be around.
- Well good for you.
- Hey, I was gonna ask you,
we're looking to get a little weed tonight.
What's up with that dealer you used to work for?
- Who, Fresno?
- Yeah.
Could I get his number?
- Nah, I don't talk to that guy anymore, man,
after I quit dealing for him.
Some shit went down and things didn't end well between us.
And you don't wanna get involved with him, man.
He's a pretty fucked up dude.
- I met him a couple times.
It'll be chill.
- No, fuck all that, man.
Why don't you just go to a dispensary?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'll probably just do that.
- Yeah.
One on every fucking corner, man.
- Hey. - Hey, what's up?
- That party was fun.
You still seeing that Zoe girl?
- Yeah.
Yeah, it's actually going really well.
- Yo, Travie!
How you livin', dog?
- What's up, man? How you been?
- Yo, I'm just killing it.
When's the last time we kicked it?
- We were partying at that music festival in Montreal?
- Right, man, you had some hella hot groupies backstage.
Like, all over your dick.
I'm talking next level puss.
- You know, Ca$h, not everybody just
hooks up with groupies backstage.
- Why you hatin'?
That's how I met you, isn't it?
- Fuck you.
Yeah, that's why we're not together anymore.
You can't keep your dick in your pants.
- Why would I wanna do that?
Can't contain this beast, it needs to feed.
- Mm, okay, yeah.
I'm just gonna let you guys do whatever you gotta do.
- We totally had sex earlier.
Fed the beast.
But what's up with you though?
- Yeah, so I'm playing with this Irish band
and they're looking for some H.
Told them I'd get 'em a hook-up.
You sell any of that shit?
- Nah. I only fuck with blow, dog.
H is Hell's Angels and Triads shit.
And I aint white and I damn sure
ain't Chinese neither.
But you know what?
My Boy, Fresno, is affiliated with H-A.
He slangs that shit.
You know, I'll just give you his number.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, I got you.
I got you, I fuck with you, man.
Yo, you want some waffles or some shit?
- Yeah.
- Hey!
Where the fuck is the syrup?
She be hiding the syrup on me and shit.
- Oh!
Big T in the motherfucking house.
What up, bro? - What's up, man?
- Man, I was real touched you hollered at me.
Come on in.
You want a Freezie?
- No, I'm good. Thanks.
- You still in that band?
- Yeah, we just got off tour about a month ago.
We're gonna start recording a new album here pretty quick.
- Fuck yeah, man!
Cole took me to a show you guys played a while back.
Those songs were catchy as tits, y'all.
This here Travis.
He a rock star.
- Hey, what's up guys?
- 'Sup?
- Well, where you living at these days?
- I'm back in Delta at my aunt's place on River Road.
- You right on the river?
- Yeah, close, it's like five minutes
from Pike Lookout.
- Hm, I know the spot.
Yo, you wanna chill out and smoke a bowl?
We gonna put on a Bruce Lee movie or some shit.
Maybe a little of that Chuck Norris.
Nah, Patrick Swayze, "Road House", motherfucker.
Ha-ha!
Put that shit on repeat.
- I would, I actually gotta head out though.
Do you have the stuff we talked about?
- Oh, it's all ready for you, homie.
And just for your peace of mind,
we only sell clean shit here.
We the only motherfuckers in town
who don't cut our shit with fentanyl.
We like to keep it safe.
For the wellness of the community.
- Thanks, man.
Appreciate it.
- Peace, homie.
- How did you end up so fucking rad?
Tell me about your parents.
- You wanna have the parents talk?
- Yeah.
I wanna know more about you, where you're from.
- I don't really talk about it that much.
Us Canadians like to keep everything bottled up.
Maybe you should go first.
- Fine, I'll go first.
My dad is actually pretty square.
He's just a businessman.
Traveled a lot for work.
My mom is a full-out hippie.
I guess you could say she was pretty cool.
I don't know how they ever got together.
They were so opposite, but they divorced when I was 12.
My mom kinda went crazy for a bit.
- Shit, I'm sorry.
- Thanks.
It's okay though.
It was hard for me in high school.
I turned inwards, I got up in my head
and started acting out.
Typical weird teenager shit.
What about you?
Are your parents really friendly Canadian folks?
- No.
No.
My dad was your average, Ontario, blue-collar drunk.
Got hammered every night and was pretty much a real dick.
One day when I was eight, I came home from school
and my mom told me he just packed up and left.
Wasn't coming back.
- Fuck.
- Yeah.
Being that age, I didn't really understand.
I didn't believe her.
Then after a few days when he still didn't come back,
I ran out of the house when mom was sleeping
and I snuck down to the bar that he'd usually hang out at.
I walked in the door and he was sitting
at the bar drinking a beer.
Laughing with his friends.
When they saw me the laughter stopped.
I asked him if he was ever gonna come home.
And he turned his head and looked away.
His friend, Jimmy, told me, "Go on home.
"Go on home to your mom."
And I started crying and freaking out.
So Jimmy and this other friend dragged me outta the bar.
My dad never even looked back.
They took me home.
My mom gave me shit.
And after a couple days I went back to the bar
and he was not there.
I haven't seen him since.
- Oh fuck.
I'm sorry that I asked about your parents.
I'm a fucking idiot.
- No, it's all good.
You didn't know.
I think the hardest thing I've had to deal with is,
you know, the one question.
Why?
Why didn't he ever wanna see me again?
It fucks with you.
- Did you ever try to track him down again?
- No.
No, I was so fucking pissed at him for years after that.
I wanted to smash his fucking head in.
- So then how did you end up here?
- When I was in my early teens,
I started drinking and hanging out with a rough crowd.
We skipped school and we vandalized.
We stole some shit.
Caused a bunch of mischief.
And apparently, my mom couldn't handle me
so she sent me to Vancouver to live with my aunt.
It was probably for the best.
My aunt's cool.
She taught me how to play guitar.
And I channeled all that crazy energy into music
and here we are.
- Here we are.
Just two fucking losers with mommy and daddy issues.
- That's right.
- We're the perfect couple.
- As soon as I'd get high, all my worries would float away .
It seemed like those moments you only felt as a child.
Care free, no stress.
No guilt.
It was everything you'd imagine the feeling
of real happiness to be.
And you wanted to feel that way every moment
of every day.
I started waking up in cold sweats.
- Fuck.
Hey, I think we should cut back on this for a little bit.
I'm kinda running low on cash.
- You wanna stop doing it?
I can stop if you want to.
I don't really have any cash.
Can't really work in Canada as an American citizen...
I'd have to get a work visa.
- No, we don't have to completely stop.
Just... maybe slow down a little bit?
Yeah?
- I do know a way we could get more out of it.
- What's that?
- Well, when you smoke it, you're wasting...
you know, half of it.
Even more sometimes.
We could shoot it.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- I can't put a needle in my vein.
That's like,
that's like full-out junkie shit.
- No, no, no.
You don't have to stick it in your vein.
You can stick it into your muscle.
It's not that bad.
- It sounds pretty fucked up.
- That's how Keith Richards used to do it.
How do you think he stayed alive for all of the 70s?
It's just like getting a flu shot
or you know, a vaccine when you travel.
You know, it's...
- I just don't think I can do that.
Turns out I could.
♪ I met her down at the record shop ♪
♪ She was into new wave and old punk rock ♪
- This is sounding pretty good.
- Dude, that's sick.
Let's pop to the chorus.
I just wanna make sure that kick is fully locked in
with that bass.
♪ She said come just a little bit closer ♪
♪ Heart beats a little bit slower... ♪
- Hey.
- Oh, hey man.
- What's up?
- Hey man, you're like two hours late, dude.
What's up?
- Yeah, sorry man, I just got this crazy flu.
I'm sick as fuck.
- Yeah, you look like shit, dog.
- Shit, are you all right?
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'm good to go.
- Dude, check out these synth parts
that Laz just laid down, man.
It's so dope.
- Oh yeah, you gotta check this out.
Have a listen.
♪ We drove into the night and then I saw her... ♪
It's good, right?
- Yeah, that's great.
- Listen to that swell.
♪ the light of the moon and we parked beside an old street sign ♪
- That's where you're gonna pop your guitar in
for the pre-chorus.
You got that part, right?
- Yeah man, let's do it.
- Yeah, you can plug in right here
we've got the amp mic'ed and set up in the other room.
Just give me a second here.
Wanna give me a little bit of level?
Nice, that's sounding good.
- That tone's tight.
- We good?
- Awesome. You ready?
- You ready to crush it?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay, here we go.
- Fuck.
One sec, it's uh...
- Do you remember the part?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it.
One sec.
It's--
- It's all good, man. We'll just do that again.
Here we go.
- Fuck. - No, no, no.
Dude, it goes:.
- Yeah, that's right. - Yeah, like you played
in rehearsal. - Yeah, that's right.
- Yeah, just feel it out, dog.
You got it.
- Yeah, no, I got it, I got it.
- Yeah, you're just warming up. Let's try it again.
Let's do this again.
Here we go.
- Fuck!
- Why don't we just stop for a quick second.
And do you wanna just rehearse it a couple times
before we start going?
- Dude, dude, so check this out.
Check this out, it goes:.
So that ending, when it hits the change,
you gotta hit that.
- Yeah, yeah, that sounds right.
- I got it.
No worries, man.
All right, let's just try it again.
Here we go. - You got it, dude.
- Fuck!
- No, dude. Dude.
This is your part.
Like, you wrote it, man.
I thought you were ready to record.
You called me to set up this session...
- Yeah, I know.
- so we could record the part.
- Yeah, I know.
Gimme a second, okay?
I told you... I'm sick today.
Just one sec. - All right.
- Let me figure it out. - Okay.
- Here, let me have a look at that.
- You remember...
what he played in rehearsal.
You were there.
- Yeah, I think I got an idea of what you're doing, man.
Here.
So it's something like this, alright?
- See that's it.
Travie you got this, man.
You got it.
- Oh shit!
- What the fuck?
This is my fucking bedroom, man!
- Oh, fuck!
- Go use the toilet if you gotta puke.
- Uh-uh, nasty, dude.
- Oh my God, guys. Get your shit together.
- Come on, let's go.
- Here, man. Here we go.
Right to the bathroom, dude.
- I'm sorry, man.
I'm just feeling like shit today.
- Dude, don't even worry about it.
You just gotta go home and you gotta go to bed, man.
Like, I can work on my vocals tonight.
We'll record your guitar another time.
- Thanks, man.
- It's all good.
- Oh yeah, I was wondering if I could get some
of the advance for the album?
- Yeah, of course, man.
We should be getting it from the label in a couple weeks.
- Actually, I was wondering if I could get it tonight.
- Tonight?
Well, I mean I don't have it yet.
And we just got paid from the tour.
- Yeah, I had to pay off a credit card and some debt.
Some bullshit.
Maybe you could front me the advance
and just take it out of my cut when you get the cash?
- Dude, are you sure it's the flu?
Or have you just been partying a bit too hard
with the nose candy?
We've all been there, man.
Like, after the tour
I stayed in bed for four days straight.
Lived off coconut water and cheese.
- Yeah, I'm all good, man.
I just woke up sick.
- Yeah, I was just fucking with you, dude.
- Can I get the money?
- Oh, yeah.
Um... let's see what I got here.
Here's 100.
I could transfer you, like, another 100 tonight.
- 500
would be awesome if that's possible.
- 500? Um...
Yeah, yeah, it's all good man.
I'll send that to you.
- Thanks, man.
- You gotta just take it easy.
Get some rest. Alright?
- Yeah, will do.
- We needed to be closer to downtown where the dope was.
So I messaged Jonesy...
and asked him if I could stay at his place
while he was away.
I lied to Katie.
Got her to lend me some money..
but it went quick.
Soon, I pawned all my guitars..
and we still needed more.
We started doing petty crime.
By this time, we were using every day.
Cole.
Hey what's up, man?
- You're 20 minutes late, bro.
What the fuck?
- Oh shit.
Fuck.
It's Tuesday.
- Yeah, it's Tuesday, bro.
What the fuck's been going on with you lately?
You don't even know what day it is?
- Oh, sorry man.
I just, I passed out last night.
I was up really late.
I'm heading to you right now.
- Alright, I'll be waiting here but hurry the fuck up.
I'm going dirt-biking at two.
- Alright.
On the days we didn't have enough to score...
it got bad.
- Well, what the hell took you so long?
- I had to book it from the cops.
- So what are you saying?
- I couldn't get any.
- What?
- I just told you, I had to run away from the cops, okay?
They saw me breaking into a fucking car.
- What the fuck!
What the fuck, Travis?
I've been here dying all day waiting for you
and now you tell me you couldn't even fucking get anything?
- What do you want me to do, Zoe?
Okay, I've been out there busting my ass all day.
We probably woulda got some if you came with me.
- I told you I was too sick to go out today!
- What the fuck do you want me to do?
- Let's sell the TV.
- That is Jonesy's TV.
- Well, you can pawn it and get it back tomorrow
when we have some cash.
- Are you crazy?
Okay, I'm not gonna start pawning my friend's shit.
- Travis.
I need it fucking bad.
Okay?
- So do I Zoe.
Okay?
You're gonna be fine until tomorrow.
I promise you, I will get you some shit in the morning.
- I need it fucking now! - Fuck, Zoe, calm down!
- I don't know what's wrong with me.
I'm just so fucked up right now.
- Hey, hey.
It's okay.
I'm feeling rough too, okay?
We're gonna get through this together.
- I love you so much.
- I love you too.
We'll be okay.
- Oh-ho.
Yo, Travie, my guy.
What's up, man?
Hey yo, you end up getting that shit from my boy?
Business?
Hell yeah, we can talk business.
Bro, I love business.
I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man.
So yo, check this out.
I'm doing this thing in the studio tonight, you know?
Cranking out bangers like a fucking pimp,
'cause that's what I do.
So, why don't you come through, let's say around eight?
And we can talk all the business you want.
Alright cool, I'll see you tonight.
Alright, peace.
- Oh yeah!
Yo, this shit is a fucking banger, Buggs.
This is a motherfucking banger.
Oh, you did it again, baby.
You did it again.
You're a fucking genius, bro.
Oh shit!
We got a rock star in the motherfucking building.
Yo, what's up? - How you been, man?
- Yo man, livin' large like Biggie Smalls, man.
Yo Buggs, turn that track down.
Buggs!
I said turn down that motherfucking track
you deaf ass bitch.
Ha-ha.
You know I'm just playing with you, Buggs.
Yo, this is my boy, Travie.
He's a dope-ass, guitar-playing motherfucker.
Yo, Travie, this is my boy, Buggs.
- What's up?
- Hey, man.
- Oh shit, hey.
Yo, you wanna do a line?
- Yeah, sure.
Ah-ha-ha.
Yo, that's the rock star I remember.
Yo, this guy has hella-hot groupies snacking on that D.
You ever get your D snacked on?
Yo, this guy gets his D snacked on like Pac-Man.
That's him getting his D snacked...
You got it, you got it, Buggs.
Yo, I got a question for you.
How come every single time I hang out with your band,
it's almost always just white girls backstage?
You know I mean? Like, I get it...
It's mostly these college white girls
that like this indie rock stuff but like, I'm saying,
it's just white girl, white girl, white girl.
You gotta switch that shit up, man.
Get some new flavor in your life, you know?
Get some more color around there.
Like, have you tried Chinese?
Yo, have you tried Caribbean?
Spicy, bro.
- I don't know what to tell you, man.
I got a serious girlfriend right now,
so I'm kinda out of that scene.
- Yo, I get it.
Yo, I respect that, you know I mean?
I feel you, I feel you.
But I'm just saying...
have you been with these new white girls?
Yo, in the bedroom they get freaky, bro,
and I'm freaky as the next guy
but the shit they say to me?
Bro, it's damn near fucking disgusting.
I get offended sometimes.
I'm like, "What?
"Bitch, you say that shit to me?
"Where the fuck did you learn that shit?"
All that profanity?
Unappealing bro.
It's motherfucking unappealing.
- Maybe it's 'cause it's the first generation
that grew up with online porn.
- Yo, I never even fucking thought about that shit.
Yo, you are one genius-ass, motherfucking rock star,
you know that?
But here's the thing...
now, if I was to bring a girl home to meet my mom,
and moms ain't with us no more...
but if I did bring a girl home to meet my moms,
it damn sure wouldn't be no freak-ass white bitch.
It's all I'm sayin'.
Oh yo, play that beat we made for Drizzy.
I wanna play it for Travie right here.
Yeah.
I know Drake is gonna throw down heavy on this beat.
- You got Drake on one of your tracks?
- Yeah.
I'm from "the 6ix", man.
Yo, I knew Drake back in his Degrassi wheelchair days.
You know?
So every time I go back to "T-Dot", him and I kick it.
We go to parties, we club, all that shit.
- That's sick, man.
- Yo, this the wrong-ass fucking beat, Buggs!
Man, if this was the 90s on Death Row,
you would get your ass stomped out.
Yo, Dre would say...
that if the engineer rewound the track too far back,
Suge Knight would beat his ass personally.
You lucky we digital Now, Buggs.
You lucky as fuck!
Oh, Buggs.
Ah!
I can't stay mad at you.
What's this business you wanna talk to me about?
- So, me and my girlfriend just moved
into this new pad in East Van.
Sketchy as fuck.
There's crack-heads and junkies everywhere.
I'm just looking for a gun for protection.
I thought you could hook it up?
- Yeah!
Yeah, you came to the right place, bro.
What do you need, nine, Glock, Magnum?
- Something small, that'll get the job done.
- Yeah, no problem.
- But here's the thing, man.
I only have, like, 100 bucks for it.
- Yo, Buggs, cut the beat.
Buggs!
Cut the motherfucking beat!
You know, if there's one thing I fucking hate in this world,
it's a motherfucking low-baller.
Yo, I invite you to my fucking studio.
I give you blow.
I let you listen to unreleased music.
And you low-ball me?
Travis, what the fuck?
- Hey man, I didn't mean any disrespect.
- Disrespect?
This is worse than disrespect.
This is low-balling, pussy-ass shit.
You know what I do to bitch-ass,
low-balling motherfuckers like you?
Do you know what I fucking do to them?
- Hey man, you do what you gotta do.
- Yo!
Holy shit, yo!
I'm just fucking with you, bro.
Holy shit.
You are one tough rock star motherfucker, you know that?
Oh my god, you didn't even flinch.
- Hey man, that's fucked up.
- Yo, I'm just playin'.
I'm sorry, yo.
Holy shit, you're tough, bro.
Yeah, of course.
Of course I can get that for you.
Yo here, yo, don't even worry about the money.
I'll give you a piece, right?
And you just play some fucking guitar on my next beat.
You know, lay down some fucking vocals.
- Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.
- Yeah, hey, here we go.
Here, yo, you know what?
I'll fucking get it for you right now.
Yo, yeah.
Yeah, what's up?
Remember that Smith and Wesson piece
we picked up like a month back?
Yeah, bring that shit down to the studio.
Yeah, I need it for my boy.
All right, hey, and yo.
I'm looking around this place
and I don't see no motherfucking snacks here.
I need some chips and dip.
Yo Buggs, what kinda dip do I like?
- Oh, I'm good with just a root beer.
- You know, you're one useless-ass piece of shit,
you know that?
- Yo, just get me cool ranch.
I want cool ranch chips and I want cool ranch dip.
What the fuck?
Hey, yo Travis,
what kind of snacks you like?
- Oh, whatever man.
- Alright, yo.
Pick up some vegan shit for my boy, Travis.
Yo, pi--
Listen, 'cause he's a fucking white boy,
he likes white boy shit.
So pick up some fucking vegan crisps
or some fucking celery.
Yo, what do you fucking people eat?
Yo, get some like Kraft... get Kraft Dinner
and chop up some hot dogs in it.
That happens, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and cheese, you guys like a lot of cheese, right?
Yeah, get like cheese and shit.
And also...
I'm looking around over here
and I don't see no bitches.
And you know I like bitches in the studio by nine o'clock
or my ass starts getting lonely.
And when I start getting lonely, I start getting sad.
And if I get sad, I start fuckin' people up!
Oh, and make sure that they're freaky, white-girl bitches
that talk dirty and, like, with profanity and shit.
Yeah, that's the shit I like.
Alright, cool.
You're my boy, dog.
Alright, see you soon.
Boom!
Just like that.
No fuss, no muss.
Buggs!
Turn that track up.
We celebratin' tonight.
- Put your hands on your fucking head.
- Oh Jesus.
- Put your hands on your fucking head.
I'm not fucking with you.
Open the register.
Open the fucking register! - I'm trying.
- Hurry the fuck up, let's go!
Get the money, get the money.
Hurry, hurry.
Gimme your wallet.
- Oh, come on. You got all the money,
what do you need a wallet for?
- I'll blow your fucking head off!
- Fuck.
- I know where you live, motherfucker.
You tell the cops I had an Indian accent
or I will come to your house and I will fucking kill you.
- Holy shit, that doesn't sound amateur.
You got away with it.
- Yeah, we had enough money to last us a little while
without having to hustle.
But soon after that,
that's when I found out.
- Found what out?
- Something that would change everything.
At this point we were mainlining.
It was 10 times more intense.
Jonesy, what's up man?
- Travis.
How are you, buddy?
- Great.
Just getting some groceries.
- Ooh, domesticated.
How's the place working out for ya?
- Oh, we love it.
Yeah, the apartment's so great.
- Good man.
So, I'm just calling to let you know
that the last show of the tour is on Friday.
So I should be coming home early next week.
- Yeah, that's cool man.
We'll just move our stuff out over the weekend.
- Right on, man, we gotta chill when I get back.
I still need to meet this new girlfriend of yours.
- Yeah, yeah, she's really cool.
- Oh, she better be if I'm gonna allow her into our lives.
Hey man, you should send me a pic right now.
I wanna see what the hussy that locked you down looks like.
- Yeah, one sec.
You get it?
- Nice.
Oh.
Oh shit.
I didn't know it was Zoe from the Manhattan show.
- What?
No, I met her in Delta by my aunt's place.
- Dude, I met her backstage at that show
at the um... at the Mint club.
- No man, you must...
you must be thinking of someone else.
She wasn't at that show.
She woulda told me that.
- Trav, what the fuck, man?
That was 100% her.
She was backstage 'cause she knew the guys
from one of the opening bands.
We hung out, we smoked a joint in the alley, man.
We fucking talked for a bit.
- Nah, it wasn't her.
- Yes man, I fully remember.
She asked me what you guys were doing after the show
but you had already left.
Fuck, dude.
Now that I think about it,
she was asking me a lot of questions specifically about you.
You alright man?
Trav.
Travis.
- I gotta go.
- So tell me.
How did you first meet Travis?
- I was at a friend's show here in New York.
Travis's band was on tour from Vancouver.
They were headlining, but I'd never heard of them before.
The moment I saw him on stage,
I knew that he was someone... special.
There was something about him.
When you first see someone,
you can just tell if you're meant to be together.
I tried to meet him backstage but he'd already left.
Over the next few weeks,
I listened to his music all the time.
I knew that I had to meet him.
All of my instincts were telling me that he was the one.
- So you flew all the way to Vancouver
to see someone you never met or communicated with before.
- I know, it sounds crazy.
- Zoe, it's okay.
I'm not here to judge you.
I know how powerful infatuation can be.
- It wasn't just infatuation.
It was something more.
And yes, it was nuts to fly out there,
but I didn't care.
I just had this strong, overwhelming intuition
that we were meant to be together.
It sounds fucking crazy but I was right.
We did fall in love.
I knew it was fucked up to lie
but I also knew he wouldn't take me seriously
if he thought I was just some obsessed fan.
- Did you end up telling the truth?
- I was planning to
but he ended up finding out.
- What the fuck, Zoe?
Why didn't you tell me you'd seen me in New York?
Hm?
- I was going to but I figured if I told you,
you woulda thought I was some crazy groupie
who stalked you outside your house.
- Yeah.
That's exactly what you fucking did!
I can't even believe this shit.
Zoe, you--
So everything we had was built on a lie?
- No. It isn't.
I-I knew we had a connection
and I was fucking right, okay?
You can't deny it.
- No, Zoe, this is fucked up.
You...
you were at my show in New York.
Why didn't you just come up to me then, huh?
We coulda started off like two normal fucking people!
- Normal.
You want normal?
I'm the last thing from normal and you fucking love it!
- This is fucked up.
- Oh yeah?
How many sluts message you while you were on tour?
I bet there's all sorts of groupie whores
that try to fuck you after your shows.
Just like what I did to be with you.
- So, is that what you do?
You just stalk bands and you fuck their guitar players?
How many musicians have you fucked?
- How the fuck could you say that to me?
You're just the same as all those other musicians
going from town to town fucking anything that walks
and then you leave.
And you go to the next town and you do it again
and it goes on and on and on.
- Zoe, what are you even talking about?
- You fucking know.
It's because you're so insecure with yourself,
you need constant validation.
Okay, I know you're fucking type.
- You're fucking insane, do you know that?
You're fucking crazy! - Fuck you.
I hope you get a disease from some dirty bitch
and your fucking dick falls off.
- What about the fucking heroin, huh?
You tricked me into doing that on purpose?
- No.
- Oh shit.
Oh fuck.
You tricked me into doing it so I could get fucked up
and you could control me, didn't you?
Yeah.
You're actually a fucking psychopath, Zoe.
You're actually a fucking psychopath.
The shit has taken over my fucking life!
- I just, I just wanted you to feel it, okay...
to see the beauty in how we could be together.
It was only supposed to be one time
so you could have the experience
and it was fucking amazing, wasn't it?
- Just get the fuck out of my house.
Just get the fuck out of my fucking house!
- Fuck you, you fucking asshole!
- And... that's when you got into the program
and started getting sober?
- Not quite.
After a fight like that, the best way to cure the pain
is to take a hit.
We said it would be our last
but once you're high, there is no pain.
There are no worries.
Everything is beautiful again.
The next time we ran out of money...
is when we did the dumbest thing ever.
Cole told Travis, Fresno kept his stash in the oven.
- Oh, Big T!
What up bro?
- What's up man? - What up man?
I ain't seen you in a while.
You must be buying straight
from my homies off the street, huh?
- Yeah.
- And what do we have here?
- This is my girlfriend, Zoe.
- Oh damn, T, you never said she was this fine.
- I've heard a lot about you.
- It's a real pleasure to meet you, mamasita.
- My name Fresno.
Come on in.
A'ight.
A'ight, listen up you motherfucking degenerates.
This here's Zoe, Travis's girl.
- What's up?
- She's the one that locked down the motherfucking rock star.
You're one special lady, huh?
- You got the shit?
- That depends homie, looking for the usual?
- Don't you fucking move!
Get on the fucking ground!
- Ah shit, you're rolling with a piece now.
- This aint a fucking joke, Fres.
- Get on the fucking ground!
- What the fuck? - Now motherfucker, now!
- This shit for real?
- Shut the fuck up! - Whoo!
- You know what you're fucking doing,
you fucking junky bitch? - Shut the fuck up!
- Bit T, stepping up.
Ha-ha-ha, this shit is fucking funny, dog.
- Shut the fuck up!
- Ow, motherfucker.
He fuckin' shot me!
- You skinny-ass motherfucker.
I'm gonna fuck you up real good.
- Move again and I'll blow your fucking head off.
- Oh, oh I like this one, T.
You found a real bad-ass bitch, huh?
- Oh, motherfucking piece of junkie shit!
- Shut the fuck up.
- Fuck.
- Travis, get the shit and let's get the fuck outta here!
- Hey yo, T?
Maybe you don't understand.
I'm having fucking fun right now.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Ooh, I love this shit.
Here's the thing, bitch.
I don't give a fuck.
I'm having fucking fun right now
'cause I know you aint gonna kill my ass.
- Travis! - Whoo!
- Oh fuck.
Oh fuck.
- Want a Freezie?
Yo, T!
Here's the one thing that's for real.
You just shot my boy which means I get to hunt you down,
I'm a kill you and I'm a fuck your bitch!
- Shut the fuck up!
- Oh yeah, and I'm gonna love fucking
that little junkie bitch too and so will my homies.
And we're gonna take turns on that ass
and you know what?
Oh, she probably gonna come back for more
'cause I'm a treat her real good.
I'm a give her all my best shit.
- Shut up!
- And the next time she's fiending,
she knows what she has to do!
She just gotta take all our dicks.
All of 'em.
And you know it's true, T.
'Cause that's what junkie bitches do.
Slanging day to day gets boring.
- Let's go, let's go.
- I love this shit.
I owe you, T!
And I'mma pay you back real soon!
Let's go get these junkie motherfuckers.
- Whoo!
Holy fucking Christ!
Holy shit.
- Babe, you were fucking amazing!
- You were fucking amazing.
Oh fuck, okay.
Alright, they're gonna be on our fucking asses.
Let's just, let's fucking concentrate.
We gotta stick to the plan.
- You gonna make the call?
- Yeah.
Fuck, I just hope he's up for it.
- Travis, just come with me.
When we sell this shit, we'll have enough money.
We can go wherever we want.
- I don't wanna always be living in fear,
looking over my shoulder.
Okay?
- Please?
Okay, this plan is too dangerous.
We can leave together right now.
- Hey.
I gotta do this, okay?
You know where to go.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
Go, go.
I'll be there.
- Shoot me, motherfucker?
You wanna shoot me?
Whoo!
Travis!
I got somethin' for your ass.
Yeah, I see you.
I see you.
Yo, T.
You little PC, rat skinner, motherfuckin' goof!
Oh, you fucked up now, huh?
T, come on baby, this is fun for me!
Get on out here!
I'mma take you...
I'mma take you to Chuck E. Cheese, bitch!
Got some chicken nuggets for that ass.
I know you hungry!
Come on out, homie.
I got a fucking kiddie meal for ya!
Yo T!
Get the fuck out here!
Come on baby.
You're only making it worse, you little pussy.
I can smell that fucking man-gina from here, bitch!
This shit is fun for me, motherfucker.
This shit is fucking fun.
I'm having a motherfuckin' happy meal day, bitch!
What up, T, you scared?
Ha-ha-ha, you fucked up now.
Come on out.
Come on the fuck out!
Just making it harder on yourself.
Come on, T, You scared?
You scared, T?
Ha-ha, you fucked up now.
Come on out now.
You hear me?
I said come on the fuck out!
What, you scared?
- I'm not scared of you, Fres.
- Cole.
- What up, Fresno?
- Oh, you know, a little of this, a little of that.
What the fuck are you doing here?
- I got a call from Travis.
He said you two weren't getting along.
- So he lured my ass here, huh?
Little bitch.
- What the fuck is this?
- Me and Cole, we're gonna have a little catch-up.
Why don't you go on and drag that junky faggot back here?
- Been a long time.
- Yeah, it's been a minute, homie.
How's civilian life?
- It's got its ups and downs.
- You siding with this junky now?
Oh yeah, you always were a little soft, huh?
That's why you couldn't handle the game.
- Maybe I just grew up and got a conscience
like a normal human being.
Didn't wanna end up like you.
- A conscience?
I got a conscience all motherfuckin' day long, homie.
I provide a service for these people.
If not for me, they'd just buy it
off some other motherfucker and OD.
- You think 'cause you sell clean dope,
you're providing a service?
You're fucking delusional, bro.
- Why do you give a fuck what I do?
You left the game, aint none of your business.
- It became my business when you threatened my boy.
- Threatened your boy?
He tell you he rode up on me
with his little junky bitch?
He shot my homie and stole my shit?
- Yeah, I know what he did.
- Well, then you know what's gotta be done.
Those are the rules, homie.
- Yeah, but it's not gonna happen.
You are gonna give him a pass.
- A pass.
See, now I know you're the delusional motherfucker
if you think he's gettin' a pass!
- Okay.
Then we'll handle it right now.
No guns.
- With pleasure, motherfucka.
- What you did to Dewey never sat right with me.
- Dewey?
That's some old-ass shit.
You know how many chances I gave that retard?
- It wasn't right, Fres.
He was your homie and he was Marcus's brother.
You know, Marcus has been after you?
- Oh, you think I'm scared of that pussy-ass Marcus,
you don't know me at all.
- You wanna know why I left the game?
- No, but I'm sure you're gonna serenade me about it.
- Every time I sold some shit to a junky,
the moment they take it outta my hand,
I'd look in their eyes and a part of my soul would leave me.
- Damn.
That is some poetic shit.
But I don't think that's what you gotta
be worried about right now.
I think what you gotta be worried about is,
even though you won a few fights,
are you really as good as me?
- I guess we're gonna find out.
- Whoo!
Come here, baby.
That's it.
Hoo, hoo, hoo.
Keep your elbows in.
Come back to daddy, motherfucker.
You aint shit.
I fuck kids bigger than you in the pen!
Come on, Fresno loves you baby.
Shake it off.
- Whoo!
- Yeah, bitch.
That's what's up.
Aw, you can do this.
Whoo!
Come on.
Come on, I got something real special for your ass.
Come here, baby.
Yeah.
Go to sleep.
- Are we fucking done?
Is that good for you, Fres?
Does this settle it?
Are you fucking done?
Hey, we said no guns.
- Things change, motherfucker.
- You're fucking scum, man!
- I am a fuckin' legend!
That's what the fuck I am.
It's a real shame.
I always liked you, homie.
What the fuck?
- I didn't load mine.
Like I said, I found my humanity.
Your gun feels heavy.
You're never gonna stop this shit, are you?
- Fuck no, bitch!
- I thought so.
- Do it!
Fucking shoot.
- I'm not gonna kill you,
but what Marcus does with you,
that's none of my business.
- Ha-ha, you couldn't shoot, you fucking pussy.
- You killed his brother.
And those are the rules, right Fres?
- You stupid bitch.
Marcus.
I got somethin' for you.
- Fuck!
- Don't do it!
Fuck!
Motherfucker!
Fuck!
Fucking pussy.
Motherfucker!
- Look at the back.
- Shit.
She never showed?
- No.
No text, no call.
Nothing on her social media.
She just disappeared.
And then about a month ago she posted this.
- Huh.
Lewiston, New York.
- It's upstate.
I guess she's in treatment.
- So why do you think she never showed up at the beach?
The money?
- I don't know.
I'm actually glad she took the dope.
It gave me the chance to get clean.
- Shit.
I gotta go.
Thanks for sharing this with me, man.
How 'bout we do this again next week?
And if you need anything, you give me a call alright?
- Yeah.
- As I drove away from the dock,
all of a sudden I felt this relief.
The last few months with Travis were so intense.
I sold the heroin.
I used the money to fly out here and pay for rehab.
I needed a change.
And without him, I knew I could do it.
- Have you considered contacting him?
Perhaps getting some closure?
- I've thought about it
but we might just end up right where we started.
Sometimes I think about if we could ever get back
to the way it was when we first fell in love.