[rock music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
[coughs]
You cold?
My mood ring is turning purple. [chuckles]
I'll warm you up.
[boy] Nice chick on your arm, dude! She's hot.
Man. See the looks on their faces?
They're eating their hearts out right now.
You're the prettiest thing to ever step foot in this town.
Every single guy here wants you, Tully Hart.
But you have me, Pat Richmond.
Hope so.
I thought you were cool with partying.
[scoffs] Duh. I… just thought that you might have something stronger.
Far out.
I knew you'd be wild.
[Tully sighs]
[sighs] Where's my wine?
You don't get any wine.
Okay.
-I don't even get a doughnut? -No, I'm mad at you.
-Wha-- -You hurt my best friend in the world.
She hurt me.
Oh, bullshit.
[clears throat] Uh, she had an affair.
-[laughs] No, she didn't. -She practically had an affair.
She exchanged a few flirty emails with a PTA Dad.
I think their hands may have touched once as they gazed at each other
over a pancake breakfast fundraiser at the school.
It was embarrassingly chaste.
She had real feelings for him, all right? She told me.
-She wanted you to fight for her. -She wanted me to leave, Tully, so I left.
She was playing divorce chicken, and you lost, buddy.
-It's not like that. -[sighs]
-Neither of us are happy. -Nobody's happy.
You don't get married to be happy. You get married so, you know,
you have someone to share your unhappiness with.
[chuckles]
Oh, I missed you.
-How's the show? -Fucking nightmare.
My best producer took off for New York to interview for some insane job
as an embedded reporter in Iraq.
I mean…
I'm just hoping he doesn't get it so things can go back to normal.
Well, sorry to disappoint.
No. No!
I'm so pissed at you right now, Johnny.
Ah, join the club. Pissed at myself.
You can't go to Iraq. It's a war zone.
I used to be a war correspondent.
[sighs]
You remember that night back at KPOC?
When you fell through that glass table?
[laughs]
I used to have perfect knees.
-Oh. -Hmm.
Do you remember what you said to me that night?
As I was bandaging up your knee?
I have no idea.
I may have been on a lot of cocaine at the time.
[chuckles]
You said people like us are incapable of leading regular lives.
And when we try, it kills us.
Mmm.
[chuckles softly]
-[laughing] -What?
So that's why you're going to Iraq?
Because of something a coked-up 22-year-old lunatic
told you in the early '80s?
[laughs]
-No. -[laughing]
-Can you believe that was 20 years ago? -Yes.
Oh, God. Everything still seemed possible then.
There was still time to fuck up and figure it out.
Don't worry, Johnny.
You fucked up awful, but there is still time to figure it out.
You ever wonder…
what would've happened if…
we'd all made different choices back then?
There's clean sheets in the guest room.
You can finish the doughnuts.
♪ You feel my heat I'm just a moment behind ♪
["Hungry Like the Wolf" playing on stereo]
-Ow! -What?
You just elbowed me.
No, I didn't.
You can't even apologize for that?
Fine. If it'll make you feel better,
I'm sorry that your face just hit me in the elbow.
[giggles]
Does this lipstick say "Pulitzer Prize winner"?
They don't give Pulitzers for TV.
That's because they haven't seen the likes of me yet.
Of course, no one's gonna see the likes of me
if Johnny Ryan doesn't get his head out of his ass and give me a shot on camera.
No offense. I know he's your boyfriend.
Not my boyfriend. He likes you.
No, he doesn't.
He obviously does.
I don't even care. I might…
have had a tiny crush on him when we first met, but I'm over it.
Yeah, right, Mularkey. I see through you like a window.
Doesn't work out with Johnny, you could always go for Mutt.
[laughing] Mutt?
What's wrong with Mutt? He is a sexy teddy bear.
[laughs]
Plus, he is a great cameraman, and he's got a total boner for you.
Oh, my God. Not even.
You never think anyone has a boner for you,
even when their boner is staring you right in the face.
I don't want to think about Mutt's boner.
-Exactly. Eye on the prize. -Ugh…
I'm gonna be on camera. You're gonna be my producer.
Firefly Lane girls forever.
♪ Scent and a sound I'm lost and I'm found ♪
♪ And I'm hungry like the wolf ♪
Hey, girls, I brought brunch.
-[dog panting] -Ah!
Hi, do you want a doggy mimosa, sweet baby Axl?
Yes, you do. You're a good boy.
I think my mom knows.
Knows what?
About the pill. And the consent form.
It was in my bag. Now it's gone.
-Did you talk to her about it? -No.
She's just gonna turn it into a mother-daughter moment.
-I do not want to talk to her about sex. -I thought you weren't having sex.
I'm not, but she's not gonna believe that.
You know how she--
Tully, you should have called. I'm really busy.
Too busy for mimosas? Hogwash.
Well, I am.
Well… I'm gonna go do my homework.
You okay?
So good.
You left the party early last night.
I had a headache.
So… [sighs]
Johnny's back.
I know, he called.
He spent the night in my guest bed.
He always knows where to go first.
Maybe you should invite him for dinner tonight.
I'll take Marah to the movies. Give you guys a chance to talk.
No, thanks. I have a big day tomorrow.
Oh, that's right. The job.
You want me to swing by for lunch? Grease the wheels with your new boss?
-Kimber loves me, you know. -I'm good.
[exhales]
All right, obviously you are upset with me
about the consent form, so let's just have it out.
[dishwasher slams shut]
Damn right I'm upset. You had no right…
Will you just let me explain?
…giving my daughter powerful drugs without my consent?
She promised she'd talk to you before she had sex.
-Oh, so that makes it okay? -She came to me for a reason.
She doesn't feel comfortable talking to you.
She came because she knew you wouldn't say no.
You lecture her. You forget what it's like to be a teenager.
Because I'm not a teenager. I'm an adult. I'm her mother.
-You crossed the line, Tully. -[scoffs]
I shouldn't be surprised. You don't know there is a line.
Come on, don't you think you're overreacting just a bit?
No. You're not a mother. You'll never understand.
You know what? I don't need this shit. I was trying to help you.
I don't need your help, Tully. Just stay out of my problems.
[door slams]
[rock music playing]
Whoa. I got you.
Oh, no, I spilled my beer.
I'll get you another one.
[Tully chuckles]
I think you look like Ryan O'Neal.
I think you look like heaven.
[sighs]
[laughs]
Whoa.
That was your tongue.
[chuckles]
Let's go somewhere more private.
[giggles]
[giggling]
[both grunt softly]
Mmm.
I like kissing.
Me too.
Oh, I…
I feel spinny.
You'll feel better if you sit down.
[Tully] Wait. Wait.
Wait, Pat.
Pat.
-Pat! -What?
Can't we just-- Can we just, like, kiss or something?
-I thought we were… -Uh…
I know. I just wanna slow down. I don't feel so good.
Shh. I know how to make you feel better.
[Tully] No, wait.
Wait.
Wait. Please, please stop.
Stop. Pat, please.
[belt unbuckling]
Wait. Wait.
I don't… I don't want to.
I thought you were a cool girl, Tully Hart.
Don't be a tease.
[groans]
No, stop.
-Pat. Pat, no. -Shh.
Please.
[Pat grunts]
[grunts]
Mom!
Mom! Mom!
[sobbing] Mom!
Mom!
[door opens]
-Robbie, you're back. -Hey.
Sean, Robbie's here!
Are you doing a puzzle?
Oh yeah, um, it's-- My mom bought it for me.
It's really lame, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
Well, can I help? I am the puzzle master.
Oh.
Sure. Uh…
it's of a horse.
Oh, that's okay. I'll do any puzzle.
So, no big plans for you tonight, huh, Katie?
No. All my friends are at a math league conference in Seattle.
What friends?
-You don't have any friends. -Shut up. Yes, I do.
No, you don't.
Come on, Robbie. Let's go upstairs. Keep working on that song?
Yeah, after we finish this corner. We're so close.
[sighs] Okay.
[Pat groans]
[zips fly]
Wanna go get some more beer?
Hey. What's wrong with you?
What, are you mad or something?
Hey, you asked me to kiss you. You--
[scoffs] You were all over me. You acted like you--
Look, you can't just lead a guy on like that and then go cold.
It's not fair.
I'm gonna go get some more beer.
["Oh! Sweet Nuthin'" by The Velvet Underground playing]
♪ She ain't got nothing at all ♪
[retches]
[coughs]
♪ She ain't got nothing at all ♪
♪ Sweet nuthin' ♪
♪ She ain't got nothing at all ♪
♪ Oh, sweet, sweet nuthin' She ain't got nothing at all ♪
[horse nickers]
[crickets chirping]
[horse snorts]
[Tully sniffling]
Uh, she likes carrots.
When I was a kid, I never understood why they called it Firefly Lane.
There's no fireflies.
But sometimes at night if it gets dark enough,
I swear it becomes, like, this optical illusion.
The stars turn into all these little yellow dots
and they start to fall all around you.
If you squint your eyes or pretend…
they really do look like fireflies.
I sound like a nerd. [chuckles]
How was the party?
You don't look so good.
Ew. You…
reek, like puke.
I'm fine.
-[distant train whistle blows] -Hey.
She's gonna get better.
What?
Oh.
My aunt Georgia had cancer, super grody, all her hair fell out,
but she's fine now.
Your mom's gonna be fine, too.
Right.
Pat Richmond…
took me to that party.
God, I'm so stupid.
I didn't realize…
[sobs]
[sniffles] I wanted him to stop.
I told him to stop, but he wouldn't.
When he was done…
he just left me there.
In the woods, like it was nothing.
What?
I know. You think it's my fault.
Are you okay? We've gotta tell somebody about this.
-He needs to be-- -Who? I went with him, and I was drunk.
Nobody'll believe I didn't want it. They'll say it's my fault.
-But it's not your fault. -It doesn't matter.
Okay? We can't tell anybody. I shouldn't have even told you.
Now it has to be our secret, okay?
Okay.
Okay, well, I better book it. [sniffles]
Yeah, me too. It's late.
[sobs]
[sniffling]
Kate, it's me. Again.
Monday morning. This is fucking stupid. Would you just call me back?
I know I shouldn't have signed that form,
but also, I forgive you for all the shitty things you said.
I think we can agree we were both wrong,
and I sent you flowers to your new job, and I picked them out myself.
Not my assistant.
So call me back.
["We Win, We Lose" playing]
♪ This is so strange This is so new ♪
♪ Caught in the middle I don't know what to do ♪
♪ Rhythm is my middle name ♪
You can't… have… this.
Kimber, hi. I'm so sorry. I-- These flowers just arrived.
I didn't know. Um, I have an overzealous friend. [chuckles]
Mm.
[Kimber] Kate, follow.
Ugh.
I am so fucking hungover right now it is not even funny.
[Kate] I thought maybe we could go over my duties,
and you could tell me how you'd like me to arrange your schedule,
and if there's anything that you need from me right now, or--
I need Tully Hart. When are you getting me that interview?
It's, um, it's in motion. I'm into it with her people.
I puked twice on the way over here.
Maybe, um, you'd like me to go get you some coffee?
Oh, yes. I am dying.
[moans]
[cell phone chimes]
[groans]
Could you read this email for me?
Oh. Of course.
Um… [clears throat]
"Kimber, I'm sorry I didn't show up last night."
"It's not that I've met someone else, it's just that I'd…
like to."
"I'll mail you your key."
"Don't call me."
What do you think it means?
[Kimber scoffs]
Is he breaking up with me on an email?
I mean, it reads that way to me.
Ugh! Goddamn it! Fuck you, Brendan!
I didn't even like you anyway.
I just wanted someone hot to take to my sister's wedding.
Ugh!
Modern dating is the worst.
It's like technology has turned everyone into a bunch of ill-mannered cowards.
Nobody can have an actual face-to-face conversation in 2003.
Everything is virtual. Love Is dead.
The Matrix is real, and I am gonna be 30 next month.
[softly] Thirty.
I thought I'd have babies before I needed Botox, but it is all gonna be over soon.
No offense.
Oh, it's-- None taken.
-[dog whines] -[groans]
Joan Didion, no! Bad dog.
What is she doing?
-[dog whimpering] -[Kimber sighs]
My poor baby's uncomfortable.
She needs to have her glands expressed.
Well, do you want me to take her to the groomers?
I don't trust the groomer with my little Joanie Didion.
I would do it myself, but I just had a manicure.
Oh yeah. That's… tough.
Hey, maybe… Maybe you could.
Express her glands?
Yeah. Oh, it's super easy.
All you have to do is press on her ass until the liquid comes out.
I… don't really know how to do that.
There's a website with a diagram if you need help.
Uh…
Okay. I guess. Sure.
[Kimber] Great. Thank you so much.
You are such a pro.
My total hero.
Dear Brendan,
fuck you.
[sighs]
That must have been a real low point for you.
And what did he say when he left you at the altar?
Oh, it wasn't at the altar.
We were at Uncle Freddy's by the pig roaster, and--
But, how did it make you feel?
To be abandoned on what should have been the most special day of your life?
I just kept thinking I wish my mother was there.
I only went so over the top with the wedding planning 'cause I…
was missing her and trying to cover up the pain.
My mom was everything to me, you know?
[voice breaking] I just wanted my mother.
Stop. Lose this shot. My face looks weird.
It's called human emotion. You're bringing us into her story.
I am distracting you from her story with my bizarre lip quiver.
-Lose the shot, Sam. -Sam, do not lose the shot.
-We'll bring up some audience shots. -Audience? What are you crazy?
-We're not going to the audience. -Do it, Sam.
-We don't have time for this. -We have to output in three minutes.
Just bring up some audience alts.
-They're asking where the tape is. -Just, we're almost done.
Know what? Dead mother's sister was sitting in the front
doing an ugly cry face the entire time. Just cut to her.
Tully, this is a show about you.
-I don't like the close up. -Guys, this is airing today.
What if we play a two-shot so I still see your reaction,
then cut to the ugly crying aunt.
Ya know, I didn't even want to do a bridezilla episode.
-It is offensive. -Two minutes.
-Okay! -All right!
-And I still have to do the bumper. -Fine.
Fine. Do it in the two-shot,
and then cut to the sobbing aunt, you monumental pain in my ass.
Says the monumental pain in my ass.
[sighs]
[video scrubbing]
What am I gonna do without you?
[keyboard clacking]
Drive someone else insane.
Okay, Joan. As Madonna once said, express yourself.
[dog whining]
-Oh, so gross, so gross… -[squirting noise]
Oh, my God.
Give me five minutes. I'll be right there. I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was occup--
Hi.
Is that dog all right?
Oh, yeah. She's fine. She's just a little, uh…
backed up. It's all good.
Okay, then. I'll just pretend like I never saw any of this.
-Yes, please. -Okay.
-[cell phone ringing] -[Kate] Shit.
Um, do you want me to get that for you?
No, it's just if it's my boss, Kimber--
-[chuckles] -You're Kimber Watts' assistant?
I'm her two o'clock.
Wait, you're Gideon Vega? The photographer?
Well, not the photographer. A photographer.
I am such a huge fan. I love your work.
Okay. [clears throat]
[ringing continues]
Good news, it's not Kimber. Somebody named Johnny.
Oh. That's my husband. Well, we're not married.
I mean, we are, but we're separated. He's picking our daughter up at school
and taking her home and making her dinner. It's awkward.
I mean, it's not. It's fine. Whatever. We're figuring it out.
Why am I still talking?
Yeah.
I'll just put that right there for you.
Right.
Really nice meeting you, um…
-Kate. -[Gideon] Kate.
-Yeah. -Good luck with your, uh, expressing.
-[Kate laughs] Thanks. -[dog barks]
[door shuts]
-[exhales] -[dog whines]
Jesus, Joan.
This week on "Carol Tries It,"
we're exploring the final musical frontier.
Are you tired of vinyl records that warp and skip?
What about cassette tapes that unspool right in the middle of your favorite song?
Well, there's a solution coming straight from the exotic Orient.
It may look like something from the year 2000,
but this technology can be found right here in 1982.
The sound quality is clear as a bell,
and these discs are practically indestructible.
See? It's scratch-proof.
Each compact disc player costs over $1000, and are only available in Japan.
But surely CDs are the wave of the future,
or what you might call the "new wave" of the future.
[new wave music playing]
I'm Carol Mansour, and I just tried it.
-Back to you, Chuck. -[mouthing]
[Johnny groans]
So glad I was here for the exact moment when journalism was murdered for good.
Right? I could've done this so much better than her. She can't even dance.
You guys don't get it.
This is Andy Kaufman-level performance art.
Carol's a genius.
[song skips]
[grunts]
Why is it doing that?
Because you scratched it.
It's scratch-proof.
That's the whole point. It's indestructible.
Don't worry. We got it. Have to trim that back anyway. Good stuff, Carol.
-Yeah. -Lights off. Lights off.
-So I heard there might be drinks later. -Sean!
[laughs excitedly]
I can't believe it.
-[Sean grunts] Oh… -Oh, my God.
Look at you. Mutt, this is my big brother, Sean.
He's been overseas. I haven't seen him in two whole years.
Thank you for your service. You have an excellent sister.
Thank you.
Look at you. You look so handsome.
You just look like Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman.
Right?
-Okay. Gotta get back to work. -All right.
I mean women must be throwing themselves at you.
Oh, I mean, I don't-- I don't know.
I can't believe how glamorous this place is.
Well, I mean, it's kind of a dump.
You're working with Carol Mansour. That is Miss Washington State 1967.
She literally keeps her sash and tiara in a glass case on her desk.
-Sean, you asshole! -Oh, boy.
Please tell me you are back for good?
Stationed at Kitsap for six months, and then officially off active duty.
Yay! Big brother's home.
-We are so partying together tonight. -Yes, we are.
-Hey. Johnny Ryan. -Hey. Sean.
-This is Kate's big brother. -Yes.
We love him even though he used to torture us
in the good old days on Firefly Lane.
Oh, the good old days. Where you moved in across the street
and started corrupting my little sister.
Oh, please. Kate has always been a good girl, even when she was bad.
I can't even imagine Kate being bad.
-She wasn't. -She wasn't.
[scoffing] I was too, you guys.
I am still bad. You don't even know.
[all laugh]
I've got to say, these two?
Separately, impressive, sure. But together?
A terrifying force of nature that will take over the world one day.
God help us all.
[Tully and Kate laugh]
-I can't believe you're here. -It's me.
-Hello. -Me neither!
Oh, what's happening?
Let's party!
-[cell phone rings] -Kimber. Hi.
Yeah, I'm getting your coffee. Yes, five shots of espresso.
Yeah, hot enough to burn the skin off your tongue. I am on it.
-[camera shutter clicks] -[Gideon] Hey.
Kate, right? I need to check some light levels.
Could you stand there? It'll just take a second.
Wait, you mean like take my picture?
Let me get that for you there.
Um…
Okay, sure. I guess.
Little to the left.
-My left, your left? -Your left.
-[camera snaps] -[Kate laughs awkwardly]
What should I do with my hands?
Just stand naturally.
I don't really do anything naturally.
-[clears throat] -[camera snaps]
So, how's your dog?
Oh, she's not my dog.
No? So that whole gland thing is just something you like to do
with the neighborhood strays?
[laughs]
Beautiful. Thanks.
You pitched me the same five ideas last month.
Yes, but this is a fresh take, Roger.
There is no fresh take on Kurt Cobain. He's been dead nine years.
I can get an exclusive with Frances Bean's original nanny.
I want to hear something else.
Sorry to just dive in here. Remember that story you were pitching me earlier?
Love in the age of the Internet.
How technology is the death of modern romance.
Now that feels fresh. I like that.
[scoffs] Me too. That's why I pitched it.
Well, let's hear it, then.
[whispers] Oh,my God. Thank you.
[cell phone ringing]
[Kimber] I was dating this guy named Brendan. Total dick.
[Tully] Kate, you cannot keep ignoring me.
This is ridiculous.
It's Tully, by the way. Call me back.
[sighs]
[inhales]
-Hi. -[fans clamoring]
-[man] Look here! -[woman] I love you!
Thanks for being out here in the rain, guys.
-Thank you. -[girl] Can I get a photo?
All right, you guys. I love y'all.
-Thank you! -[girl] Thank you!
[Tully] Mularkey, I need you!
[sniffing] Oh!
Would you get over here and party with us?
I'm working.
[Tully] Why is she like this?
Kate's a good girl.
She's a great girl.
Anyone want another beer? Yeah?
I cannot get over this uniform.
I am seriously having to refrain myself from jumping your bones right now.
Please don't, 'cause I'm kind of taken.
[gasps] Way to bury the lede.
Let me guess, let me guess. Pretty surfer boy you met on leave.
Like, long, blonde hair. Like Sean Penn only hunkier.
Who's Sean Penn?
Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Spicoli.
I don't know what that is, but, um… we met at Pike Place.
-He's a fisherman. -Oh, sexy.
[chuckling] And he wears the little knit cap, and he's old.
-Like, 32. -No.
Yeah, and he kind of looks like Burt Reynolds.
-Does he have a bitching 'stache? -Yeah. And I don't care.
I'm-- I'm happy, you know? I think this one is promising.
Like, tell-the-family promising or…
I can't really tell anyone on account of I could get kicked out of the Navy, but…
-Right. -…I am thinking of telling Kate.
Oh, my God.
This is huge.
Oh, thank God. I hate keeping secrets from her, you know?
If you weren't you… [sniffs]
…I would never be able to have such incredible self-control.
[snorts]
Oh! Yes. I have an idea. [sniffs]
Oh, God.
It's terrible. I'm sorry. I'll work on it some more.
Stop it. It's really good.
No, no. It's just the tenth draft.
-I can do better. -Hey, back up, grabby. I'm not done yet.
Seriously, I've never written a whole story all by myself before.
It's embarrassing.
It's great.
That's why I gave you the assignment.
I will show this to Carol, and she will fucking hate it.
[Kate laughs]
And then I'll pitch it to Tacoma anyway and see what they say.
Just, uh, don't forget about me when you become a big famous journalist.
Oh, I'd never forget about you.
[chuckles softly]
[Tully] Hello.
[Johnny snorts, laughing]
Oh, my God, she can't do that.
Carol is gonna freak. There will be murder. [chuckles]
Sometimes I look at her and I wonder,
what happened to that girl to make her so--
[Kate] Nuts?
Sad.
Wait, you think Tully's sad?
Don't you?
Yeah. I mean, she's the saddest person I know.
I just-- I didn't think anybody else noticed it.
[Tully] Kate, would you get out here?
I need my producer. I'm going live. [laughs]
[pan sizzling]
[indistinct conversation]
Oh, my God.
Tully.
French toast.
You read my mind.
My daughter is a psychic.
-She's gifted. I always knew it. -Okay.
Don't push me away. I am your mother. I love you.
Did you seriously wake up this high?
Okay. I'm going to go take a bath
and wash off whatever vibes these are you're throwing out,
and when I get back, I'm going to eat some French toast.
And you are gonna be in a better mood.
Okay?
Go easy on your mom, kid.
-She's a great lady who's had a hard life. -[scoffs]
Thanks, Dad.
You're lucky I'm not your dad,
'cause I'd smack that smug look right off your face, Tallulah.
[heartbeat thumping]
Now where do you keep the twisty ties?
[heartbeat accelerates]
[sizzling]
[intense music builds]
Ow! Ow!
What the--
-What is going on? -She burned me!
-He touched me! -Touched you? Where?
On my arm.
-Where's the butter? -On your arm?
-So you burned him? -He was in my space.
He's always in my space.
-This better not leave a scar. -Oh, it'll ruin your modeling career.
Tully. Don't cry wolf.
Come here, baby.
-I'm gonna go take a bath. -[man groans]
[man] God.
[sniffles]
[Kate laughing]
[both laughing]
[crying softly]
-You would do it, right? -[laughing]
-No. No… -[laughing]
-Hey. -I was about to leave.
Yeah, sorry I'm late. I, um…
I was driving this old man who got hit by a car to the hospital.
Is he okay?
Uh… died on the way, actually.
So… [chuckles]
You're like a Good Samaritan?
EMT.
Yeah, I just got off my shift.
-Can I get you anything? -Can I have a Guinness?
You know, that's the first time anybody's assistant
has ever called me to set up a date.
This isn't a date.
Okay. Uh, what is it?
I'm not sure yet.
So I looked you up on the Internet. You're really famous.
I'm aware.
I mean, obviously I knew that. It's just, you know, you're like…
You're…
noteworthy.
-Parents, they must be pretty proud, huh? -[chuckles]
-Not exactly. -Thank you.
My mother's dead. I never knew my father.
Oh, shit. Uh…
When did she pass?
When I was 15.
I'm so sorry about that.
Don't be. She wasn't much of a mother.
Well, you know, maybe that's why you are so good at your job,
you know, that kind of adversity from such a young age.
I'm sure that makes you, you know, stronger
and determined. Plus, you know, it gives you insight
into people, you know, for when you're, like, interviewing them and whatnot.
Or something. [chuckles]
[laughs]
You're laughing at me.
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just-- I'm spewing bullshit here because--
Oh, shit. You make me really nervous.
Is this what you do? Is this how you get people to talk?
Doing that thing you're doing with your eyes?
You want to have sex in the bathroom?
[coughs]
-Yeah. Let's, um-- Sure. -I'm interviewing the governor tomorrow.
I need to be back to work in half an hour to prep.
Yeah, totally. That makes sense. Actually…
[clears throat]
I'm in a hurry too.
I'm playing croquet with the mayor at five, so…
Knock twice.
Okay.
["Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" by The Police playing]
♪ Though I've tried before to tell her ♪
♪ Of the feelings I have for her In my heart ♪
♪ Every time that I come near her I just lose my nerve ♪
♪ As I've done from the start ♪
♪ Every little thing she does is magic Everything she do just turns me on ♪
♪ Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on ♪
We need to talk about makeup.
You need help. And I'm not being a bitch.
Really. I just--
I know a lot about fashion. It's a gift.
A gift that I want to share with you.
What?
Nothing.
Okay. Anyway, I could come to your house?
After school?
Tonight?
[laughs]
♪ Every little thing she does is magic Everything she do just turns me on ♪
♪ Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on ♪
[all] Five. Four. Three.
-Two-- -Come on.
[all exclaim]
[laughing]
You guys are real assholes.
Tully, what are you doing?
Live from Seattle,
wearing a stolen tiara,
this is Tully Hart.
And I just tried it.
-Cocaine, that is. -[all laughing]
And let me just say,
it is the wave of the--
[yelps]
-[Kate] Tully! Oh my God. -[Johnny] Okay. Watch your feet, Kate.
-How you feeling, Tully? -Oh, no.
You okay?
-You're all right. Okay. -Ow! I think I hurt my knee.
-[Kate] Oh, my God. -[Johnny] Whoa! Yeah, you did.
-[Tully] Shit. -[Johnny] You're all right.
Let's get you out of there.
-Okay. Watch out. -Her feet.
-Watch your feet. Okay. -Who's gonna tell Carol about the table?
Yeah. Okay.
-Let's go and find you a first aid kit. -[laughs] Whoo! Oh, my hero.
-Okay. That was our best table, you know? -[Tully laughing]
Who broke the table?
[Sean] What are you doing?
Cleaning up.
Right.
[sighs]
So…
[chuckles]
Tully hasn't really changed.
Yeah, she just gets more… Tully.
He'll be good for her, though.
Who?
Johnny. He's obviously into her.
They always are,
but that's the kind of guy she needs, you know?
Someone that sees her, cares about her, someone that will treat her right.
Wow. Yeah, no, you're totally right. I mean, he's perfect for her. Um…
So what about you? You meet any nice girls lately?
Uh… [clears throat]
As a matter of fact, yes. I have met someone.
[laughs] Thank God.
Do you know Mom literally prays every Sunday night
that you'll finally get a girlfriend?
It's like she thinks there's something wrong with you just because you're picky.
Mom thinks something's wrong with me?
Basically. I mean, you know how Mom and Dad get.
I keep telling them not to worry, that you just haven't met the right woman.
But now you have. So tell me about her. What's she like? Is she…
Is she sweet? Is she fun? Do you think Mom will like her?
[scoffs]
Uh, you know what? I don't want to jinx it by talking about it.
Well, I can't wait to meet her.
Yeah. Yeah.
Me either.
Is it bad…
that I can't feel my knee?
I think that's a sign that you need to stay off the cocaine.
Ha.
Nah.
[laughs]
God, I should put this back. I don't know what I was thinking.
You just can't help yourself. You have to break the rules.
[Tully laughs] Please.
Don't even pretend you're not exactly the same way.
You may be hiding out here in this dead-end job right now,
but you don't fool me for a second, Johnny Ryan.
Someday you'll be back out there, jumping into the fray.
[chuckles]
People like us…
can't live regular lives.
When we try, it kills us.
[door opens]
-[unzips fly] -[both] No, no, no!
This isn't the bathroom?
No.
[zips fly]
[door shuts]
-[laughs] -[exhales]
[clears throat]
-Should we get back out there? -Yeah. Yeah.
-You okay to walk on that? Okay. -Yeah.
-Thank you. -Yeah. Yeah.
Other way, Mutt.
[clicks tongue] Attaboy.
[exhales]
[door opens, closes]
Did I miss dinner?
No, I saved you a plate.
Oh.
-Marah's upstairs doing her homework. -[sighs]
You didn't have to do the dishes.
Really? That's a new angle on me and dishes.
[laughs]
[Kate] Mmm.
So, how'd it go today?
Ugh. It was awful.
And kind of amazing.
God, it just felt so good to be back out there in the world again.
You look good, Katie.
Being out there in the world agrees with you.
Thanks.
So, what's up with you and Tully?
Why? What'd she say?
Nothing, but I can tell something's up. She's a mess.
She's distracted at work. She's asking if I've heard from you.
Please, call her.
She gave Marah birth control pills.
What?
-I'm gonna handle it. I am handling it. -Oh, goddamn.
-Tully. -I know.
[sighs]
Wait, do you think that means Marah's--
I don't think so?
Okay. I can't. That's, that's--
[laughs]
She's… She's…
She's 14.
I'm going to talk to her.
[sighs]
Um…
so, what happened in New York?
Um… [pops lips]
I got it. I leave in two months.
Wow. Um…
Congratulations.
I know everyone says they want a good divorce--
[exhales shakily]
World's greatest divorce.
[computer chimes]
[laughs]
[clatter on window]
-Come down. -You're crazy.
Oh, would you just come down.
Come down.
You're crazy.
Well? You won't answer my damn calls.
[whispering] Okay. Give me a minute. I'm coming down.
Hold on. I'm coming down.
[Tully chuckles]
You were right, Mularkey. I see it.
Fireflies.
It's midnight.
Wanna ride bikes?
I'm in my nightgown.
So?
Let's go.
You can't go a whole day without talking to me.
It's too much.
I need you.
You're my soulmate, you bitch.
You're the bitch, bitch.
Stop hogging the blank-- Stop hogging the blanket. It's cold.
[Kate sniffs]
Today really sucked. I hate when you're mad at me.
-What you did with Marah-- -I--
Never again. I swear.
-Tully. It's not okay. -I know.
-I'm serious. -I know I fucked up. I know.
-I overstepped, I shouldn't have-- -I'm losing her, Tul.
This is where it starts.
First I lost Johnny, and now I'm losing Marah.
-She's 14. -In four years she'll go to college,
and I'll be a divorced, underemployed spinster.
In four years when she goes to college, we're buying a farm together
on a tropical island, and we'll raise exotic chickens.
Chickens give me the creeps.
-Exotic goats. -[chuckles]
Yeah, you'll just make me do all the work, and I don't want to pick up goat shit.
[laughing] We'll have a goat-tender.
-[laughs] -A handsome one named Gunther.
[laughs]
He'll only speak Norwegian, but he'll have really soulful eyes.
And he'll have a half-brother named Anders
who will brew his own homemade mead
and give amazing foot massages and never ask for anything in return.
-Wow. You've really thought this through. -[laughs]
The important thing is we'll be together.
You're not alone, Kate.
You'll never be alone. You are fucking stuck with me forever.
Forever and ever.
Wait up!
[both whooping]
[rings bell]
Whoo!
-Hurry up! -Wait up!
[both laugh]
[squeals, laughs]
[sighs]
[birds calling]
-[Marah] Time to go. -Yup.
-I'll drive. -Marah--
I've had my permit for months now, and you never let me drive.
Okay, okay. Yes.
Wait, are those the earrings that--
You got so mad at her.
I didn't think a child your age should have diamonds that big.
Like Aunt Tully would ever buy small diamonds.
[chuckles]
They look beautiful.
I miss her.
I know you don't like talking about her.
It's okay to miss her.
I miss her too.
Come on. We don't want to be late.
[soft instrumental music playing]