1
00:00:03,966 --> 00:00:06,179
[music playing]
2
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,103
Wait.
3
00:00:13,235 --> 00:00:15,197
[dog barks]
4
00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,161
FEMALE VOCALIST:
♪ I'm feelin' happy inside ♪
5
00:00:18,245 --> 00:00:22,086
♪ I got no reason to hide,
I'm a dream girl ♪
6
00:00:22,169 --> 00:00:25,092
♪ I'm never stressin' my bills,
nobody ever gets killed ♪
7
00:00:25,175 --> 00:00:28,599
♪ It's the dream wo‐wo‐wo‐world ♪
8
00:00:28,683 --> 00:00:31,354
♪ Oh oh oh, oh oh oh ♪
9
00:00:31,437 --> 00:00:33,859
♪ Everything is just wonderful ♪
10
00:00:33,943 --> 00:00:36,824
♪ Here in my dreams,
in my dreams ♪
11
00:00:36,907 --> 00:00:39,580
♪ Every day is a holiday ♪
12
00:00:39,663 --> 00:00:43,003
‐[grunts] Oh...
‐♪ When you're living inside the dreams ♪
13
00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:46,134
‐♪ Why would anyone stay awake ♪
‐ANNIE: Oh, hi.
14
00:00:46,217 --> 00:00:48,514
‐♪ After being so sound asleep ♪
‐FRAN: [grunts]
15
00:00:48,598 --> 00:00:50,727
‐♪ Everything is just wonderful ♪
‐ANNIE: What?
16
00:00:50,810 --> 00:00:52,814
‐Good God.
‐♪ In my dreams... ♪
17
00:00:52,897 --> 00:00:53,983
Bye.
18
00:00:56,321 --> 00:00:57,323
Hmm.
19
00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:05,923
♪ Everything is just wonderful
in my dreams ♪
20
00:01:06,007 --> 00:01:08,011
‐Thank you.
‐No problem.
21
00:01:08,094 --> 00:01:10,307
[chatter]
22
00:01:13,522 --> 00:01:15,150
WOMAN:
Morning. How are you?
23
00:01:15,233 --> 00:01:16,402
[laughs]
24
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,206
ANNIE:
Cool. Kicking pizza.
25
00:01:22,289 --> 00:01:23,375
‐[laughs]
‐[camera clicks]
26
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,632
‐You can just take my number.
‐Oh!
27
00:01:26,715 --> 00:01:28,844
Oh, my God, you're Toned Tanya.
28
00:01:28,928 --> 00:01:29,930
[both laugh]
29
00:01:30,013 --> 00:01:34,690
I was just taking a photo so the tabs
were available for other people, so...
30
00:01:34,773 --> 00:01:38,196
‐Here. Take a tab.
‐Oh. Thank you. [laughs]
31
00:01:39,407 --> 00:01:40,535
Oh.
32
00:01:40,618 --> 00:01:43,916
Wow. Your wrists are tiny.
33
00:01:43,999 --> 00:01:45,293
Oh.
34
00:01:45,377 --> 00:01:47,841
TANYA: You actually have
a really small frame.
35
00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:52,015
There is a small person inside of you
dying to get out.
36
00:01:52,809 --> 00:01:55,606
Well, I hope that small person's
OK in there.
37
00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:58,445
I know, it can seem impossible.
But you can do this.
38
00:01:58,529 --> 00:02:00,950
You weren't meant to carry around
all this extra weight.
39
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:04,206
Oh. Wow. Um, very cool.
40
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,501
I know I can help you.
41
00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:08,591
Well, that's very nice.
Thank you.
42
00:02:08,674 --> 00:02:11,513
TANYA: No. Thank yourself
for the amazing way you're gonna feel
43
00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:14,393
after you give yourself permission
to be well.
44
00:02:15,061 --> 00:02:17,942
Thank you, me.
[awkward chuckle]
45
00:02:18,026 --> 00:02:20,573
‐You could be so pretty.
‐Oh.
46
00:02:24,915 --> 00:02:27,252
‐That was crazy.
‐Oh. No.
47
00:02:27,336 --> 00:02:30,300
No, no, it was cool.
She wants me to transform‐‐
48
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:31,970
like a Transformer.
49
00:02:32,054 --> 00:02:35,268
[laughs] You're funny!
You're like Rosie O'Donnell.
50
00:02:35,352 --> 00:02:36,855
‐Oh.
‐BARISTA: I think that
51
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,191
every time you come in here.
52
00:02:38,274 --> 00:02:40,445
I think, "Who does she remind me of?
Rosie O'Donnell."
53
00:02:40,530 --> 00:02:43,493
Oh! Wow. Thank you.
54
00:02:43,577 --> 00:02:46,332
‐BARISTA: Yeah.
‐OK, well, have a good one, guys.
55
00:02:46,415 --> 00:02:47,752
‐WOMAN: You too.
‐BARISTA: You too.
56
00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:49,421
[music playing]
57
00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:58,064
AMADI: "Piles of old prescription glasses
and other treasures
58
00:02:58,147 --> 00:03:00,903
once owned by child ghosts
can now be yours.
59
00:03:00,987 --> 00:03:03,074
It's the annual St. Andrew's
Academy rummage sale."
60
00:03:03,157 --> 00:03:04,661
‐It's good.
‐Really?
61
00:03:04,744 --> 00:03:05,955
Yeah. I'm into it.
62
00:03:06,038 --> 00:03:08,334
Hey, Gabe!
Cool shirt alert!
63
00:03:08,418 --> 00:03:10,213
[laughs]
Whoo!
64
00:03:12,175 --> 00:03:14,681
Did you just "cool shirt alert"
your grown‐man boss?
65
00:03:14,764 --> 00:03:16,685
Yes. And I whoo'ed.
66
00:03:16,768 --> 00:03:18,229
[both laugh]
67
00:03:18,313 --> 00:03:20,108
Amadi, would I be insane
68
00:03:20,191 --> 00:03:23,949
to go and pitch Gabe my idea
about Portland's female longshoremen?
69
00:03:24,033 --> 00:03:25,870
‐I say go for it.
‐Really?
70
00:03:25,953 --> 00:03:27,039
AMADI:
Really.
71
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:31,088
‐OK. I'm gonna do it.
‐AMADI: Go do it.
72
00:03:35,138 --> 00:03:37,100
‐Hey, Ruthie.
‐What?
73
00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:39,229
‐ANNIE: I was just saying hi.
‐Hi.
74
00:03:39,313 --> 00:03:43,530
Would it be OK if I, um,
went in and talked to Gabe?
75
00:03:44,281 --> 00:03:47,287
‐I'm sorry, what?
‐Can I go in and talk to Gabe?
76
00:03:47,371 --> 00:03:49,333
I'm having a bad day.
Look at this.
77
00:03:49,416 --> 00:03:51,128
Is that a little cat? Or...
78
00:03:51,212 --> 00:03:52,924
It's a cat that was shot to death.
79
00:03:53,007 --> 00:03:54,636
Jesus! Why are you looking at that?
80
00:03:54,719 --> 00:03:56,305
I don't know. Shut up.
81
00:03:57,224 --> 00:03:59,688
‐OK. Thank you.
‐RUTHIE: [sighs]
82
00:03:59,771 --> 00:04:01,190
[lightly knocking]
83
00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:04,446
ANNIE: [stuttering]
He's not coming.
84
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:06,868
Gabe!
85
00:04:06,952 --> 00:04:08,622
GABE:
I said come in!
86
00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:10,960
OK. Thanks, Ruthie.
87
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:12,755
I'm‐I'm sorry to interrupt.
88
00:04:12,839 --> 00:04:14,801
[mechanical whirring]
89
00:04:17,389 --> 00:04:18,642
What is it?
90
00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:21,021
I just came in to say that, um,
91
00:04:21,105 --> 00:04:23,777
I just loved your article
in last week's issue.
92
00:04:23,861 --> 00:04:25,948
It was so, so great.
93
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:27,367
Did you, um...
94
00:04:27,451 --> 00:04:29,706
did you really give Henry Rollins
a piggyback ride?
95
00:04:29,789 --> 00:04:31,292
That's what we called it
back then.
96
00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:34,883
[chuckles] Oh, God.
So, so good. Amazing.
97
00:04:34,966 --> 00:04:37,889
‐What is it, Annie?
‐Well, um, first let me just say
98
00:04:37,972 --> 00:04:40,811
you know that it's been my dream
to work for you, and I've‐‐
99
00:04:40,895 --> 00:04:43,650
I've been reading your work
since I was 14.
100
00:04:43,734 --> 00:04:45,403
GABE: That's adorable.
Is there a point?
101
00:04:45,487 --> 00:04:48,451
Well, I know I'm just
Assistant Calendar Editor,
102
00:04:48,535 --> 00:04:50,288
but I would really love to write more,
103
00:04:50,371 --> 00:04:52,250
‐and I have some ideas‐‐
‐Annie.
104
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,547
You millennial dumpling.
105
00:04:54,631 --> 00:04:57,637
I just want you to work hard
and pay your dues.
106
00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,974
‐OK?
‐OK.
107
00:05:00,058 --> 00:05:01,895
GABE: God, when I was your age,
I was already
108
00:05:01,978 --> 00:05:03,816
burnin' shit down and fuckin' shit up.
109
00:05:03,899 --> 00:05:08,617
Yes. Exactly. And I would love
to start fuckin' some shit up.
110
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,078
GABE: Annie, please, go away.
111
00:05:10,161 --> 00:05:13,042
I love you. You're a vital and tiny cog.
112
00:05:14,546 --> 00:05:17,510
OK. So that's a maybe then, right?
113
00:05:17,552 --> 00:05:19,927
[cheerful guitar music plays]
114
00:05:27,237 --> 00:05:28,489
[chuckles]
115
00:05:29,283 --> 00:05:31,913
[panting]
116
00:05:31,997 --> 00:05:35,170
RYAN:
Mmm. Mmm.
117
00:05:36,506 --> 00:05:39,178
Ohh. Ohh...
118
00:05:39,261 --> 00:05:41,015
‐Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait.
‐RYAN: What?
119
00:05:41,098 --> 00:05:43,520
‐I just‐‐ Don't stop.
‐OK.
120
00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:45,941
I just wanna leave it on, OK?
121
00:05:46,025 --> 00:05:48,446
OK. Mmm.
122
00:05:51,368 --> 00:05:52,622
ANNIE:
Yeah, yeah.
123
00:05:54,626 --> 00:05:58,049
It always feels so much better
no‐condom.
124
00:05:58,132 --> 00:05:59,301
For you too, right?
125
00:05:59,384 --> 00:06:02,140
Yes, absolutely.
126
00:06:02,683 --> 00:06:06,357
I was worried too, because I jacked off
like an hour before you got here.
127
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,987
‐Mm‐hmm?
‐But that was actually really good.
128
00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:10,699
‐Cool.
‐Mm.
129
00:06:10,783 --> 00:06:13,997
Hey, um, you should
get a second pillow,
130
00:06:14,081 --> 00:06:16,043
'cause then I can have one
when I sleep over.
131
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,674
No way. I'm your pillow.
132
00:06:18,757 --> 00:06:20,051
[laughs]
133
00:06:22,389 --> 00:06:27,065
You know, um, it's almost
our six‐months‐of‐fucking anniversary.
134
00:06:27,148 --> 00:06:28,735
Why do you think
I brought the water?
135
00:06:28,819 --> 00:06:31,992
[laughs] Well, thanks.
136
00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:34,329
‐Thanks for that.
‐You're welcome.
137
00:06:35,373 --> 00:06:36,626
[kissing]
138
00:06:39,339 --> 00:06:40,968
‐[contented sigh]
‐OK.
139
00:06:41,761 --> 00:06:43,932
I gotta go back to work.
140
00:06:44,016 --> 00:06:47,480
But... do you wanna
get dinner tonight?
141
00:06:48,232 --> 00:06:50,278
I can't. I'm, uh,
142
00:06:50,361 --> 00:06:53,325
working on my Alcatraz podcast
with Pete and Mike.
143
00:06:53,409 --> 00:06:57,543
‐Oh, yeah, um, "Talkin' 'Traz," right?
‐Yeah.
144
00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:00,507
Well, do you work
at the hardware store today, or no?
145
00:07:00,591 --> 00:07:03,429
No. My boss Dave suspended me
146
00:07:03,513 --> 00:07:07,228
for making free keys
for everyone I know.
147
00:07:07,312 --> 00:07:10,736
Well, then you should
make a key to Dave's house
148
00:07:10,819 --> 00:07:13,074
and then kill him
and his entire family.
149
00:07:13,157 --> 00:07:14,702
‐ANNIE: [laughs]
‐That's fucked up.
150
00:07:14,786 --> 00:07:17,248
‐His wife just had a baby.
‐Oh. Yeah.
151
00:07:17,332 --> 00:07:20,004
I‐I wasn't serious about the murder,
152
00:07:20,088 --> 00:07:23,762
but you're taking it seriously,
so that's good.
153
00:07:23,845 --> 00:07:25,891
I'm glad I got to see you.
154
00:07:25,974 --> 00:07:28,020
Me too. That was cool.
155
00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:31,401
‐Yeah.
‐MAN: Good God...
156
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:34,032
Hey, my roommates are here, so...
157
00:07:34,116 --> 00:07:36,161
Your brother and Pete?
I really want to meet them.
158
00:07:36,245 --> 00:07:38,082
Yeah, and you will, like, definitely.
159
00:07:38,165 --> 00:07:40,169
But maybe not today?
160
00:07:40,253 --> 00:07:43,425
I don't wanna have to explain my love life
to those clowns.
161
00:07:43,510 --> 00:07:45,179
‐Totally. Sure.
‐RYAN: Yeah.
162
00:07:45,263 --> 00:07:48,854
Hey. You're cool with going out
the back again, right?
163
00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:51,651
Um...
164
00:07:51,734 --> 00:07:54,072
‐Yeah.
‐RYAN: Cool.
165
00:07:54,156 --> 00:07:55,158
C'mon.
166
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,913
[guitar music playing]
167
00:07:57,955 --> 00:08:00,418
‐Shhh! Quietly.
‐[chuckles]
168
00:08:06,848 --> 00:08:08,100
OK, bye.
169
00:08:08,852 --> 00:08:10,772
[whispers] Oh, wait.
Gimme a kiss.
170
00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:45,091
‐[thud]
‐ANNIE: Uhh!
171
00:08:51,103 --> 00:08:52,523
Hi.
172
00:08:52,606 --> 00:08:56,614
Let's see, I got my lotion
and my gum
173
00:08:56,698 --> 00:09:01,081
and my shoelaces for my brown shoes,
which I love,
174
00:09:01,164 --> 00:09:05,549
um, and could I also get, um,
the morning‐after pill?
175
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:08,429
I think it's called... Step Two?
176
00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:12,270
‐[scanner beeps]
‐Thank you.
177
00:09:13,607 --> 00:09:14,734
[chuckles]
178
00:09:14,817 --> 00:09:18,115
So, do you, uh,
sell more of the morning‐after pill
179
00:09:18,198 --> 00:09:21,371
in the morning, or is it
kind of an all‐day thing?
180
00:09:23,417 --> 00:09:25,631
Hey, Nick! Do we sell
the morning‐after pill‐‐
181
00:09:25,714 --> 00:09:28,637
That's OK, we‐‐
we don't need to bother Nick.
182
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,934
He's, um, doin' pill business.
183
00:09:32,018 --> 00:09:34,899
Um, I‐I will just pay,
184
00:09:34,982 --> 00:09:37,236
and‐‐and this'll be over.
185
00:09:38,322 --> 00:09:39,909
FRAN: This is the best haircut
I've ever done.
186
00:09:39,992 --> 00:09:43,917
If I saw you walkin' down the street,
I would get down on one knee.
187
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,629
You look perfect.
188
00:09:45,712 --> 00:09:47,215
CUSTOMER:
Fran, you're a genius.
189
00:09:47,298 --> 00:09:48,843
FRAN: Text me
if you want a fringe trim.
190
00:09:48,927 --> 00:09:52,183
Or text me when you break up
with your shitty boyfriend.
191
00:09:52,266 --> 00:09:53,895
Bye. Thank you.
192
00:09:53,978 --> 00:09:55,941
‐Bye, Annie.
‐Bye!
193
00:09:56,024 --> 00:09:58,738
Oh, my God.
She comes for trims all the time.
194
00:09:58,822 --> 00:10:01,284
‐It's exhausting.
‐I know, and did she even pay you?
195
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,163
'Cause she's the one
that never pays, right?
196
00:10:03,247 --> 00:10:04,834
She never pays me in money.
197
00:10:04,917 --> 00:10:06,838
It's always some shit
that I don't want.
198
00:10:06,921 --> 00:10:09,134
I mean, let's see what
she brought me this time.
199
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:11,639
‐OK, whoa.
‐Oh.
200
00:10:11,723 --> 00:10:13,768
Ooh!
201
00:10:13,852 --> 00:10:16,022
This could be for you.
202
00:10:16,106 --> 00:10:17,609
I don't know.
203
00:10:17,693 --> 00:10:19,613
I don't know
if I would really wear this.
204
00:10:19,697 --> 00:10:21,116
Like, could I pull it off?
205
00:10:21,199 --> 00:10:24,205
Also, it looks like the security tags
are still on there,
206
00:10:24,289 --> 00:10:26,334
which, I don't know,
kind of leads me to believe
207
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,629
it's all stolen.
208
00:10:27,713 --> 00:10:30,092
Is that our business, though?
209
00:10:30,176 --> 00:10:33,348
I mean, yes, a grifter whose hair I cut
brought them into our home,
210
00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:35,102
but this stuff is nice.
211
00:10:35,729 --> 00:10:37,900
‐Ooh.
‐Good God.
212
00:10:37,983 --> 00:10:39,737
‐That's looks like a stillborn puppy.
‐ANNIE: What?!
213
00:10:41,072 --> 00:10:43,745
‐[barks]
‐Bonkers! Bonkers, no!
214
00:10:44,538 --> 00:10:46,542
Oh my God, he has a tampon.
215
00:10:46,626 --> 00:10:48,588
[dog barking]
216
00:10:49,214 --> 00:10:52,470
‐Was that yours?
‐No. No, I haven't had my period
217
00:10:52,554 --> 00:10:54,892
‐[phone chimes]
‐in kind of a while, actually.
218
00:10:54,975 --> 00:10:56,521
‐Oh, fuck!
‐What?
219
00:10:56,604 --> 00:10:58,608
Mia just texted me and said
she wanted to hang out,
220
00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:00,444
but I already told the other one
she could come over.
221
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:04,662
OK. Don't call her "the other one."
I really like Sarah.
222
00:11:04,745 --> 00:11:06,749
Yeah, I mean, Sarah's fine.
223
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,795
What‐‐ what are you, Mrs. Doubtfire?
224
00:11:08,878 --> 00:11:12,803
You gonna get 'em in the same restaurant
and just juggle 'em back and forth?
225
00:11:12,886 --> 00:11:15,600
OK, first of all,
that's not the plot of Mrs. Doubtfire.
226
00:11:15,684 --> 00:11:17,688
Mrs. Doubtfire is about one man
227
00:11:17,771 --> 00:11:20,902
trying to convince one family
that he's two people.
228
00:11:20,986 --> 00:11:24,702
I am one person
trying to fuck two people as myself.
229
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:27,164
OK, well, that is fucked, Fran.
230
00:11:28,877 --> 00:11:30,004
What's your problem?
231
00:11:30,087 --> 00:11:33,302
I don't know, I feel... kind of weird.
232
00:11:33,385 --> 00:11:34,387
[doorbell rings]
233
00:11:34,470 --> 00:11:36,099
Shit, that's Sarah.
Are you OK?
234
00:11:36,182 --> 00:11:37,476
Yeah, I'm fine.
235
00:11:40,232 --> 00:11:42,905
[inhales, exhales]
236
00:11:56,139 --> 00:11:58,310
"Submerge the wand..."
237
00:12:01,358 --> 00:12:03,780
[urinating]
238
00:12:03,863 --> 00:12:05,742
Fuck!
239
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,871
Uhh. Shit.
240
00:12:20,187 --> 00:12:23,820
Hello. I'm sorry, I just took
this pregnancy test in your bathroom,
241
00:12:23,903 --> 00:12:25,865
and I believe that it's defective,
242
00:12:25,949 --> 00:12:28,120
because it just gave me
a very disturbing false positive,
243
00:12:28,203 --> 00:12:30,040
so I would love
to do an exchange, please?
244
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,794
How is it defective?
245
00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:35,009
It says that I'm pregnant,
and that's impossible
246
00:12:35,092 --> 00:12:36,762
because I've been taking
the morning‐after pill.
247
00:12:36,846 --> 00:12:40,520
Oh. Uh, do you weigh
over 175 pounds?
248
00:12:40,603 --> 00:12:41,981
Yes.
249
00:12:42,064 --> 00:12:46,364
PHARMACIST: The morning‐only pill
is only dosed for women 175 pounds
and under.
250
00:12:46,448 --> 00:12:49,078
What?!
But I've taken it before.
251
00:12:49,162 --> 00:12:51,625
It's supposed to be
for emergencies only.
252
00:12:53,170 --> 00:12:54,590
I guess...
253
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:56,342
I guess I'm just wondering why
254
00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:58,723
the pharmacist who's usually here
when I'm here,
255
00:12:58,806 --> 00:13:00,518
the like... Irish hunk,
256
00:13:00,602 --> 00:13:03,273
like, why didn't he tell me
that the morning‐after pill
257
00:13:03,356 --> 00:13:04,568
wouldn't work for me
258
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,947
any of the last seven times
I've come here and bought it?
259
00:13:07,031 --> 00:13:09,745
Oh, that guy.
That guy's very bad at his job.
260
00:13:09,828 --> 00:13:10,914
Yeah.
261
00:13:11,456 --> 00:13:12,751
Yeah!
262
00:13:14,045 --> 00:13:15,214
OK.
263
00:13:16,341 --> 00:13:18,763
[music playing]
264
00:13:24,482 --> 00:13:25,484
[text alert]
265
00:13:48,656 --> 00:13:50,158
FRAN:
OK, I don't understand.
266
00:13:50,242 --> 00:13:53,164
How did this even happen?
I mean, you obviously use birth control.
267
00:13:53,248 --> 00:13:55,002
I mean, usually we do,
268
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:58,759
but I don't know,
Ryan loves to raw‐dog.
269
00:13:58,843 --> 00:14:00,638
Ohh. Sorry, what?
270
00:14:00,722 --> 00:14:02,224
Well, raw‐dogging.
271
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:04,437
It's literally his favorite thing.
272
00:14:04,521 --> 00:14:08,320
So how could I take away
his favorite thing?
273
00:14:08,403 --> 00:14:10,490
My favorite thing is
you not having a child
274
00:14:10,575 --> 00:14:12,411
with a guy who says "raw‐dog."
275
00:14:12,494 --> 00:14:14,373
You trying to take away
my favorite thing?
276
00:14:14,457 --> 00:14:17,254
No. No, I just‐‐
277
00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:22,097
You know, I've been using
the morning‐after pill,
and it didn't work.
278
00:14:22,181 --> 00:14:25,563
Are you rich? That's like $50
every time you have sex with Ryan.
279
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:29,028
It's just, he liked me,
and I didn't want him to stop liking me,
280
00:14:29,111 --> 00:14:31,951
so... I just went with it.
281
00:14:32,034 --> 00:14:34,873
‐Wow.
‐I know. I just‐‐
282
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,835
What do you think I should do?
283
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,839
What? Get an abortion
284
00:14:38,923 --> 00:14:41,094
before it becomes illegal or something.
285
00:14:41,177 --> 00:14:45,018
Yeah, but I keep having
this little thought of like
286
00:14:45,102 --> 00:14:47,983
maybe this is my chance
to be a mom.
287
00:14:48,609 --> 00:14:51,991
OK, you're gonna have
a lot more chances to be a mum,
288
00:14:52,074 --> 00:14:54,495
and maybe we just don't take this one,
289
00:14:54,579 --> 00:14:58,169
which is the one with the guy
who makes you leave through the back gate.
290
00:14:59,005 --> 00:15:02,219
I just mean, like...
291
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:07,187
there have been moments
in my life... [crying]
292
00:15:07,271 --> 00:15:11,154
where I like, didn't think
that I would ever get to have that.
293
00:15:11,237 --> 00:15:15,621
You know?
Because of what I looked like or...
294
00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:19,295
because there's a certain way
that your body is supposed to be,
295
00:15:19,378 --> 00:15:20,798
and I'm not that.
296
00:15:23,094 --> 00:15:25,015
And that...
297
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:28,522
maybe if I was just sweet enough
and nice enough
298
00:15:28,606 --> 00:15:31,862
and easy‐going enough
with any guy,
299
00:15:31,945 --> 00:15:33,574
that that would be enough
for someone.
300
00:15:33,657 --> 00:15:36,622
Honey, you're being
so mean to yourself. I‐‐
301
00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:40,295
I mean, it makes me so sad.
302
00:15:40,378 --> 00:15:42,842
Well... I mean,
303
00:15:42,926 --> 00:15:47,309
it's humiliating to say out loud,
but it's also the kind of stuff
304
00:15:47,392 --> 00:15:49,815
that's fucking going through my head
all the time.
305
00:15:49,898 --> 00:15:52,111
Then we need to make sure that
it's not going through your head
306
00:15:52,194 --> 00:15:54,031
all the time, and we need to untrain you
307
00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:57,204
from thinking of yourself
in such a brutal way.
308
00:15:57,287 --> 00:15:59,333
Maybe the first step to doing that
309
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:02,339
is ending things with this Ryan.
310
00:16:03,299 --> 00:16:05,345
Yeah. I just...
311
00:16:05,428 --> 00:16:07,349
I don't know if I can do that.
312
00:16:07,432 --> 00:16:08,853
I think you can.
313
00:16:11,482 --> 00:16:15,700
Do you think it would be OK
if I just laid down on this couch
314
00:16:15,783 --> 00:16:18,246
and slept here until I died?
315
00:16:18,288 --> 00:16:19,924
I think you have to.
316
00:16:25,511 --> 00:16:26,889
Mom?
317
00:16:30,897 --> 00:16:32,901
‐Mom?
‐VERA: Oh, hi!
318
00:16:32,984 --> 00:16:35,280
‐Oh, hi.
‐VERA: I didn't know you were coming over.
319
00:16:35,363 --> 00:16:37,451
‐Yeah.
‐VERA: Oh.
320
00:16:37,535 --> 00:16:38,704
Um, where's Dad?
321
00:16:38,787 --> 00:16:41,459
‐Oh, he's laying down.
‐Oh.
322
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:44,131
‐How was radiation?
‐Oh, the same.
323
00:16:44,215 --> 00:16:47,054
Makes him feel like shit,
but that's just how it is.
324
00:16:47,137 --> 00:16:50,352
‐Yeah.
‐Hey, are you liking the Thin Menu?
325
00:16:50,435 --> 00:16:52,941
Because I am loving it.
326
00:16:53,024 --> 00:16:55,445
Um, I don't know. It's fine.
327
00:16:55,529 --> 00:16:58,034
I definitely am starving
all day long.
328
00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:01,374
Oh. OK, well, are you doing
the almonds between meals?
329
00:17:01,457 --> 00:17:03,712
Six almonds keeps me full for hours.
330
00:17:03,796 --> 00:17:06,718
Yeah. I'm doing the almonds.
They're so satisfying.
331
00:17:06,802 --> 00:17:10,016
Sometimes when I have six almonds
I feel like I had twelve almonds.
332
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,479
‐Oh. You're joking.
‐[laughs]
333
00:17:12,563 --> 00:17:14,233
Sorry. It sucks.
334
00:17:14,316 --> 00:17:17,782
You know, the stuff
isn't exactly free, Annie.
335
00:17:17,865 --> 00:17:21,122
You know, excuse me for trying
to do something to help both of us
336
00:17:21,205 --> 00:17:23,042
get a little bit healthier.
337
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:25,046
[sighs] Will you please
take this to your father?
338
00:17:28,094 --> 00:17:30,307
What? Are you mad?
339
00:17:30,390 --> 00:17:32,645
‐No!
‐OK.
340
00:17:34,189 --> 00:17:35,483
Oh, God.
341
00:17:36,193 --> 00:17:38,991
[jazz piano playing
on sound system]
342
00:17:47,884 --> 00:17:48,969
Hi.
343
00:17:51,182 --> 00:17:53,102
Hey. Annie Banannie!
344
00:17:53,186 --> 00:17:55,148
[both laughing]
345
00:17:55,231 --> 00:17:57,612
Welcome to my office.
346
00:17:57,695 --> 00:17:59,866
[jazz continues]
347
00:18:00,910 --> 00:18:04,333
Ooh. I like this.
What is this?
348
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:07,965
This is me and Uncle Jerry
at the Hungry Turtle.
349
00:18:08,049 --> 00:18:09,761
1977.
350
00:18:09,844 --> 00:18:12,474
I was younger than you
when I recorded this.
351
00:18:14,562 --> 00:18:17,150
‐Where's Mom?
‐She's in the kitchen.
352
00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:19,906
I bet she'll make you a sandwich
or something if you want it.
353
00:18:19,989 --> 00:18:23,413
[chuckles] Remember that chicken salad
you made me for Father's Day?
354
00:18:23,496 --> 00:18:25,793
‐ANNIE: Oh.
‐That was the best chicken salad
355
00:18:25,876 --> 00:18:27,755
I have ever had in my life.
356
00:18:27,839 --> 00:18:29,551
It was perfect!
357
00:18:29,634 --> 00:18:32,222
Well, I am definitely not perfect.
358
00:18:32,305 --> 00:18:34,351
Really? Well, that's too bad,
'cause I am.
359
00:18:34,435 --> 00:18:37,190
‐[laughs] Oh, Dad!
‐Hmm?
360
00:18:37,274 --> 00:18:39,236
[both laugh]
361
00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:43,494
[exhales]
362
00:18:44,622 --> 00:18:47,169
How are you doing? OK?
363
00:18:48,505 --> 00:18:52,220
Never better. Really.
Mom's taking great care of me.
364
00:18:52,304 --> 00:18:54,601
I'm gonna be back in fightin' shape
before you know it.
365
00:18:58,692 --> 00:19:00,654
[sighs]
366
00:19:05,121 --> 00:19:07,125
[nostalgic music playing]
367
00:19:30,631 --> 00:19:33,929
[chatter, laughter in distance]
368
00:19:37,895 --> 00:19:40,901
[both laughing]
369
00:19:41,987 --> 00:19:44,951
VERA: And she did it!
And then she did it!
370
00:19:45,034 --> 00:19:47,289
[both laughing]
371
00:19:51,130 --> 00:19:52,592
Thank you.
372
00:19:56,056 --> 00:19:59,898
Um, they actually said
I can have a support person,
373
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:02,319
which means that
you can come in with me.
374
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:03,822
Of course I will.
375
00:20:05,951 --> 00:20:07,747
‐[sighs]
‐NURSE PRACTITIONER: OK, Annie,
376
00:20:07,830 --> 00:20:10,251
I'm just gonna finish
numbing you now.
377
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,963
You might feel some light cramping.
378
00:20:12,047 --> 00:20:15,596
You might also feel some numbing
in your tongue or ringing in your ears.
379
00:20:15,679 --> 00:20:17,349
‐OK?
‐OK.
380
00:20:17,432 --> 00:20:18,936
FRAN:
You OK?
381
00:20:19,019 --> 00:20:20,480
[exhales]
382
00:20:20,564 --> 00:20:23,570
NURSE PRACTITIONER:
Now I'm opening your cervix.
383
00:20:23,654 --> 00:20:25,616
Some cramping is normal.
384
00:20:27,077 --> 00:20:30,834
Everything looks great, and we're about
two‐thirds of the way finished now.
385
00:20:30,918 --> 00:20:33,255
FRAN: You're doing great, Annie.
Almost done.
386
00:20:35,051 --> 00:20:37,138
[bittersweet music playing]
387
00:21:00,519 --> 00:21:01,521
FRAN:
Annie?
388
00:21:02,648 --> 00:21:04,861
‐Are you awake?
‐ANNIE: Ye‐es.
389
00:21:08,075 --> 00:21:10,706
‐FRAN: Oh, my God.
‐OK, yes?
390
00:21:10,789 --> 00:21:13,169
Yes. Wow. Thank you.
391
00:21:13,252 --> 00:21:14,672
‐You like it?
‐FRAN: I'm a genius.
392
00:21:14,756 --> 00:21:16,843
I was right.
You look fucking amazing.
393
00:21:16,926 --> 00:21:19,097
I know. I didn't think
I was gonna like it,
394
00:21:19,181 --> 00:21:21,143
but I actually really like it.
395
00:21:21,226 --> 00:21:23,355
So, thank you.
396
00:21:23,439 --> 00:21:26,278
‐How you feeling?
‐Better.
397
00:21:26,361 --> 00:21:30,328
Like, I feel... really, really good.
398
00:21:30,411 --> 00:21:32,123
FRAN: What happened?
399
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:34,837
I don't know.
I've had the last couple days
400
00:21:34,921 --> 00:21:37,510
to think about a lot of shit,
401
00:21:37,593 --> 00:21:40,557
like when I was at my parents' house
402
00:21:40,641 --> 00:21:43,605
and I was just looking
at all these photos of me
403
00:21:43,688 --> 00:21:45,818
from when I was growing up,
404
00:21:45,901 --> 00:21:48,824
and little me was just so happy
405
00:21:48,907 --> 00:21:52,455
and fat and had big, dumb dreams.
406
00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:57,006
And I got myself
into this huge fucking mess...
407
00:21:58,300 --> 00:22:01,431
but I made a decision,
408
00:22:01,516 --> 00:22:04,437
only for me, for myself,
409
00:22:04,522 --> 00:22:06,358
and I got myself out of it.
410
00:22:06,441 --> 00:22:07,611
Good.
411
00:22:07,695 --> 00:22:11,118
I don't know, I feel very fucking powerful
right now.
412
00:22:11,201 --> 00:22:14,124
And I just feel like I need to go out.
413
00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:16,921
Do it, bitch. I love you.
414
00:22:17,005 --> 00:22:19,176
I love you too.
415
00:22:19,259 --> 00:22:21,430
‐Oh, no.
‐FRAN: Oh‐ho‐ho!
416
00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:22,641
‐Oh, my gosh.
‐FRAN: OK.
417
00:22:22,725 --> 00:22:25,396
‐ANNIE: What's happening?
‐I have no idea, but I like it.
418
00:22:25,479 --> 00:22:27,108
I'm afraid that I'm feeling myself.
419
00:22:27,192 --> 00:22:29,237
[laughing]
420
00:22:29,321 --> 00:22:31,366
It's an emergency.
421
00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:33,538
Whoa. Yes. I need to call 9-9-9.
422
00:22:33,622 --> 00:22:35,124
9-1-1!
423
00:22:35,208 --> 00:22:36,794
[both laughing]
424
00:22:36,878 --> 00:22:40,301
Some people think Alcatraz
is an island off San Francisco,
425
00:22:40,384 --> 00:22:43,642
but I'm here to tell you
it's an island of the mind.
426
00:22:43,725 --> 00:22:45,562
Oh, shit.
427
00:22:45,646 --> 00:22:47,482
That's crazy.
Did you just think of that?
428
00:22:47,566 --> 00:22:50,739
Should our podcast be titled
"Island of the Mind"?
429
00:22:50,822 --> 00:22:53,703
‐MIKE: Oh, I like that.
‐It's already called "Talkin' 'Traz."
430
00:22:53,787 --> 00:22:56,208
‐I'm gonna start again.
‐[hits button]
431
00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:58,128
Welcome back to "Talkin' 'Traz."
432
00:22:58,212 --> 00:23:01,260
Some people think Alcatraz
is an island off San Francisco,
433
00:23:01,343 --> 00:23:03,472
‐Hi!
‐but I'm here‐‐
434
00:23:03,556 --> 00:23:04,642
Oh, hey.
435
00:23:04,725 --> 00:23:06,270
Hey. Can we talk?
436
00:23:07,313 --> 00:23:09,317
‐Yeah.
‐OK.
437
00:23:09,401 --> 00:23:11,280
Hi. I'm Annie.
438
00:23:11,363 --> 00:23:13,994
I'm the one that Ryan fucks, so...
439
00:23:16,624 --> 00:23:20,381
I just‐‐ I wanted you to know
that I got pregnant.
440
00:23:20,464 --> 00:23:21,551
Oh, shit!
441
00:23:23,220 --> 00:23:26,101
‐And I had an abortion.
‐Ahh, that's good news.
442
00:23:26,184 --> 00:23:28,773
Ryan, don't. Don't do that.
443
00:23:28,857 --> 00:23:31,028
OK.
444
00:23:31,111 --> 00:23:34,910
Um, I really, really thought about
445
00:23:34,994 --> 00:23:36,914
having a baby with you.
446
00:23:36,998 --> 00:23:41,089
And that you would have to
take me out to restaurants
447
00:23:41,173 --> 00:23:43,845
and treat me like a normal girl.
448
00:23:43,928 --> 00:23:47,603
And then I just started thinking
I shouldn't have to fucking trap you
449
00:23:47,686 --> 00:23:50,817
into treating me like I'm a human being.
450
00:23:50,901 --> 00:23:54,032
And I've been letting people dismiss me
451
00:23:54,115 --> 00:23:58,583
or say shit to me about my body
my entire life.
452
00:23:58,666 --> 00:24:01,046
And at this point,
I just feel like "Fuck them."
453
00:24:01,129 --> 00:24:03,635
‐Yeah, fuck them.
‐And fuck you, too.
454
00:24:03,718 --> 00:24:06,223
Yeah. I mean...
455
00:24:06,306 --> 00:24:07,392
wow.
456
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:10,857
Um...
457
00:24:10,941 --> 00:24:13,153
it's probably for the best.
458
00:24:13,237 --> 00:24:15,241
I don't think I could deal
with another kid.
459
00:24:17,538 --> 00:24:18,915
What?
460
00:24:18,998 --> 00:24:21,879
You know, besides Nathaniel. Little man.
461
00:24:23,048 --> 00:24:26,304
Are you telling me
you have a fuckin' child?
462
00:24:26,388 --> 00:24:28,726
Yeah. He's 14.
463
00:24:28,810 --> 00:24:31,607
He lives with his mom and his stepdad
up in Vancouver.
464
00:24:31,691 --> 00:24:33,945
He's a dual citizen,
which is kind of cool.
465
00:24:34,028 --> 00:24:36,324
‐Are you serious?
‐I told you about Nathaniel.
466
00:24:36,408 --> 00:24:40,082
No. No, you never told me
that you had a child.
467
00:24:40,166 --> 00:24:41,794
I think I would remember that.
468
00:24:41,878 --> 00:24:45,594
I mean, this is exactly my point.
I don't know you.
469
00:24:45,677 --> 00:24:48,182
And you don't know me at all.
470
00:24:48,265 --> 00:24:51,606
I can't do this anymore.
This is not working.
471
00:24:51,689 --> 00:24:53,400
I‐‐ I'm gonna go.
472
00:24:56,031 --> 00:24:57,784
Uh, wait. Annie.
473
00:24:59,454 --> 00:25:02,711
Are you OK? About the thing?
474
00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:04,255
The abortion?
475
00:25:04,339 --> 00:25:07,011
Yeah. I'm OK.
476
00:25:17,448 --> 00:25:20,287
‐I'm not into logistics.
‐No, I understand that.
477
00:25:20,371 --> 00:25:23,001
‐But what are we going do about it?
‐ANDY: We got it all taken care of.
478
00:25:23,085 --> 00:25:24,964
‐Gabe. Gabe.
‐We got Jen and Bob...
479
00:25:25,047 --> 00:25:28,721
Gabe. Can I give you
a quick pitch, please?
480
00:25:28,805 --> 00:25:31,184
I recently found out that
the morning‐after pill
481
00:25:31,268 --> 00:25:33,898
doesn't work on plus‐size women,
and I was wondering
482
00:25:33,982 --> 00:25:35,777
‐if I could write something‐‐
‐No.
483
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,077
‐Um, yeah, so‐‐
‐Do we have a team
484
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,204
that can move that quickly?
485
00:25:41,288 --> 00:25:42,290
Yes. We've got a team ready‐‐
486
00:25:42,373 --> 00:25:44,878
I'm sorry. Are you fucking kidding me?
487
00:25:44,962 --> 00:25:47,466
You let Andy write
an 1800‐word feature
488
00:25:47,551 --> 00:25:48,928
about what it's like to do molly,
489
00:25:49,012 --> 00:25:50,431
and then you let him write
a second one
490
00:25:50,515 --> 00:25:52,853
called "Return to Molly:
Doing Molly Again."
491
00:25:52,936 --> 00:25:56,318
That sucks!
I'm better than Andy!
492
00:25:56,401 --> 00:25:59,198
I'm sorry. Andy, you're great
in a lot of ways, but I'm‐‐
493
00:25:59,282 --> 00:26:01,704
I'm better in most!
494
00:26:01,787 --> 00:26:05,044
Oh, my God.
You're a total bitch.
495
00:26:05,127 --> 00:26:07,173
N‐No, I'm not.
496
00:26:07,256 --> 00:26:10,346
Yes, you are. You're a shitty cunt.
497
00:26:10,429 --> 00:26:12,141
And I like it.
498
00:26:12,224 --> 00:26:15,397
Really? So... can I write my article?
499
00:26:15,481 --> 00:26:19,823
‐No.
‐Well, Gabe, Carla's out next week,
500
00:26:19,907 --> 00:26:22,370
and we need somebody
to write the food follows, so...
501
00:26:22,453 --> 00:26:25,000
‐Oh, my God. Fine.
‐Wait. Really?
502
00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:26,712
Yes, I don't really give a shit.
503
00:26:26,796 --> 00:26:30,219
‐Oh, my God, thank you so much!
‐Honey, please.
504
00:26:30,302 --> 00:26:34,268
And Andy, oh, my God,
I just sold you out so fuckin' hard
505
00:26:34,352 --> 00:26:37,693
and you did me such a solid!
Thank you, man!
506
00:26:37,776 --> 00:26:39,697
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
507
00:26:39,780 --> 00:26:41,742
‐Thank you.
‐No, just the one is fine.
508
00:26:41,826 --> 00:26:45,249
Okay, you're right. I know.
It's just the food follow, and I'm‐‐
509
00:26:45,332 --> 00:26:47,086
I'm so‐‐ Thank you.
510
00:26:48,296 --> 00:26:49,717
Yes!
511
00:26:54,935 --> 00:26:56,020
Damn.
512
00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:09,380
[knocking]
513
00:27:09,464 --> 00:27:12,094
‐[muffled] Hey. One sec.
‐Oh.
514
00:27:13,848 --> 00:27:17,021
‐You were supposed to call me!
‐Yeah, I'm‐‐
515
00:27:17,104 --> 00:27:18,398
I'm actually all good.
516
00:27:18,482 --> 00:27:20,528
‐Thank you, though.
‐TANYA: But you need a trainer.
517
00:27:20,612 --> 00:27:22,114
Come on, girl,
you owe it to yourself.
518
00:27:22,198 --> 00:27:23,868
You don't have to settle for this.
519
00:27:23,951 --> 00:27:27,166
‐You better call me.
‐OK.
520
00:27:27,249 --> 00:27:28,669
Fuck you.
521
00:27:28,753 --> 00:27:30,422
Excuse me?
522
00:27:30,507 --> 00:27:34,723
Oh. I just said thank you
for caring about my health.
523
00:27:34,806 --> 00:27:36,309
I heard what you said,
and you know what,
524
00:27:36,392 --> 00:27:38,773
I was just trying to help you,
you fat bitch.
525
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:50,420
FEMALE VOCALIST:
♪ Don't worry 'bout me, I'm doing good ♪
526
00:27:50,505 --> 00:27:52,676
♪ I'm doing great, alright ♪
527
00:27:52,759 --> 00:27:57,059
♪ It's about to get ugly, flow so mean,
I just can't be polite ♪
528
00:27:57,142 --> 00:28:01,317
♪ Don't worry 'bout me, I'm doing good,
I'm doing great, alright ♪
529
00:28:01,401 --> 00:28:05,200
♪ It's about to get ugly, flow so mean,
I just can't be polite ♪
530
00:28:05,284 --> 00:28:07,747
♪ I bet you ain't heard
no flow like this ♪
531
00:28:07,831 --> 00:28:10,043
♪ Make you say,
"Yo, excuse me, Miss" ♪
532
00:28:10,127 --> 00:28:12,006
♪ Go against me,
I'll beat like Swizz ♪
533
00:28:12,089 --> 00:28:14,427
♪ I like my paper nice and crisp, oh ♪
534
00:28:14,511 --> 00:28:16,306
♪ Crispy clean
and crisp and clean ♪
535
00:28:16,389 --> 00:28:18,226
♪ For the dough I go nuts
like Krispy Kreme ♪
536
00:28:18,310 --> 00:28:20,773
♪ Music is in my Billie genes ♪
537
00:28:20,857 --> 00:28:23,111
♪ Can't no one ever come between, yo ♪
538
00:28:23,194 --> 00:28:27,244
♪ Don't worry 'bout me, I'm doing good,
I'm doing great, alright ♪
539
00:28:27,328 --> 00:28:31,879
♪ It's about to get ugly, flow so mean,
I just can't be polite ♪
540
00:28:31,962 --> 00:28:36,220
♪ Don't worry 'bout me, I'm doing good,
I'm doing great, alright ♪
541
00:28:36,304 --> 00:28:39,101
♪ It's about to get ugly, flow so mean,
I just can't ♪
542
00:28:41,649 --> 00:28:43,401
[song continues]
543
00:28:48,829 --> 00:28:53,254
♪ Don't worry 'bout me, I'm doing good,
I'm doing great, alright ♪
544
00:28:53,338 --> 00:28:57,889
♪ It's about to get ugly, flow so mean,
I just can't be polite ♪
545
00:28:57,972 --> 00:29:02,272
♪ Don't worry 'bout me, I'm doing good,
I'm doing great, alright ♪
546
00:29:02,356 --> 00:29:05,278
♪ It's about to get ugly,
flow so mean, I just can't ♪