1
00:00:06,993 --> 00:00:09,624
[chill music]

2
00:00:09,624 --> 00:00:11,460
[Annie sighs]

3
00:00:11,460 --> 00:00:13,506
WOMAN: Hi.
‐ Hey.

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00:00:13,506 --> 00:00:20,311
♪ ♪

5
00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:23,610
[sighs]

6
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♪ ♪

7
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‐ Okay. Uh, what else?

8
00:00:32,419 --> 00:00:34,632
Uh...all right.

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00:00:34,632 --> 00:00:38,431
Whoever took the Squatty Potty
from the hallway bathroom,

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00:00:38,431 --> 00:00:39,433
just put that back.

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GABE: Yeah, please, huh?

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AMADI: No questions asked.

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‐ Moving on. Questions?

14
00:00:44,276 --> 00:00:47,157
‐ Oh.
Um, I want to get Botox.

15
00:00:47,157 --> 00:00:50,330
Can I get "The Thorn"
to pay for that?

16
00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:51,750
‐ That would be for Amadi.

17
00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:55,423
I'm only entertaining creative
or existential questions.

18
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‐ Uh, can I, sir?
‐ Absolutely not.

19
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‐ Oh, my God.
That is ruthless, Amadi.

20
00:01:00,642 --> 00:01:01,811
Boo, Amadi.
Boo!

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00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:03,064
ALL: [booing]
‐ Okay.

22
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:04,734
‐ Boo, Amadi. Boo.
AMADI: Okay. All right.

23
00:01:04,734 --> 00:01:06,821
Before we finish up,
I just want to welcome back

24
00:01:06,821 --> 00:01:08,449
our very own Annie Easton.

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00:01:08,449 --> 00:01:10,788
‐ Yes.
Annie begged for her job back.

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I said "yes," she's here,
and all is well.

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00:01:13,376 --> 00:01:15,756
‐ Yes, and uh, you know,

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I know I've been away
for a month,

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but I hope it's like
I never left, so‐‐

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GABE: Ah!

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The jewel of "The Thorn"
has arrived.

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CODY: Guilty as charged.

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00:01:25,483 --> 00:01:28,280
I want to say good morning
to everybody, all right?

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00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:29,992
Good morning, my people.
GABE: Good morning.

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‐ I'm sorry I'm late, Gabe.

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GABE: Never a problem.

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00:01:32,832 --> 00:01:34,919
Annie, this is Calendar Cody,

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00:01:34,919 --> 00:01:36,798
our current
calendars editor.

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‐ Wow.

40
00:01:37,925 --> 00:01:40,471
Nobody ever calls me
Calendar Annie.

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00:01:40,471 --> 00:01:42,643
‐ Well, that's because
you just list the events,

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00:01:42,643 --> 00:01:44,187
whereas Cody is an event.

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‐ Gabe, come on.
GABE: I'm serious.

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00:01:46,108 --> 00:01:47,152
CODY: No!
‐ Okay.

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00:01:47,152 --> 00:01:48,487
Should we probably
wrap it up then?

46
00:01:48,487 --> 00:01:49,699
‐ Oh, yeah.
Uh, meeting's over.

47
00:01:49,699 --> 00:01:50,701
If that's okay with you, Cody.

48
00:01:50,701 --> 00:01:51,870
‐ Yeah. Let's get to work.

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00:01:51,870 --> 00:01:53,038
GABE: All right.
‐ All right.

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00:01:53,038 --> 00:01:55,001
[Annie laughs]

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00:01:55,001 --> 00:01:58,007
[upbeat music]

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00:01:58,007 --> 00:01:59,677
♪ ♪

53
00:01:59,677 --> 00:02:01,138
‐ Annie.
ANNIE: Oh!

54
00:02:01,138 --> 00:02:02,558
‐ Just wanted to say "hey."
‐ Hey.

55
00:02:02,558 --> 00:02:04,394
Hello, hello.

56
00:02:04,394 --> 00:02:06,858
‐ You did a great job
with the calendar, truly.

57
00:02:06,858 --> 00:02:08,194
‐ Oh!

58
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,655
‐ I didn't have to do
much work at all.

59
00:02:09,655 --> 00:02:12,912
Just overhauled
the layout a bit.

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‐ Yeah, well, it seems like
you're killing it.

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Everybody loves you.

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‐ That's really great to hear.
‐ Mm.

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‐ You know, I live
for the scene.

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‐ Oh.
‐ I live for the night.

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I live for the music.

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ANNIE: Well, same. Same.

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CODY: Yeah.
‐ The night, the music,

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and the scene, of course.

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[chuckles]
He's gone.

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‐ You know, he lives
with his grandma,

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and she's his best friend.

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So cool.

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‐ Yeah, well, both
my grandmas are dead,

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and I miss them a lot.

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So much, so...

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‐ Keep it to yourself.
Gross.

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[gasps]
Oh, my gosh.

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It's Cody's Candy Time.

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‐ Andy, get over here

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and get some
of this chocolate.

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Hello?
RUTHIE: Hey.

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‐ Yeah.
This is for you, actually.

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Okay. You got it.

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‐ Good God damn it, he's just
handing out candy bars.

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‐ It's piñata time.

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[all exclaim]

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[laughter]

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‐ Annie!

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‐ Yeah. I'm just right here.

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GABE: Great. Okay.

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You're gonna be writing up
the city council meetings

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every Friday,
plus you have the honor

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of doing "The Thorn's"
Freak of the Week.

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‐ Oh, but Freak of the Week,
isn't that more like a survey?

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And‐‐and isn't Angus
in charge of that?

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‐ He was in charge of it until
that woman's boa constrictor

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made eye contact with him,

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and now he's "scared,"
so you're in charge.

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Is this gonna be a problem?

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‐ Oh. No. No, no, no.
GABE: Okay.

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‐ No, no, no.
Do not worry, Gabe.

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Uh, I promise that this
will be the best

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Freak of the Week
you've ever seen.

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‐ Don't sit down there.
‐ Okay.

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‐ I don't want the best;
I want fine.

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I want it to be the same
that it's been every week

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since the beginning
of "The Thorn."

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‐ Okay.
So then it'll be that then.

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I'm not going rogue.
I'm just here to work.

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‐ Walk‐‐just walk away.
Walk away.

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‐ But I'm happy to be back.

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GABE: Walk that way.

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‐ Andy, are you asking me

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if it's legal
to impregnate your sister?

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‐ The sperm
is for my sister's wife,

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but if she gets pregnant,

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shouldn't I get
paternity leave?

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‐ Can we just talk about this
if and when that happens?

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‐ Well, it's just‐‐
it sort of factors into

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the whole decision‐making‐‐
‐ Andy!

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‐ We'll put a pin in it.

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‐ Yeah. We'll do that.

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‐ Wow.

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‐ First thing in the morning,
I'm already having

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the jizz conversation.

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Jeez.
Living the dream.

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‐ Well, I'm a reporter again,
and you're the big boss.

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I'd say we're back
and better than ever.

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‐ Yeah. Uh...

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Ever since I went
to design school,

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I always dreamed of, like,
coming in

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and revamping a company's
antiquated payroll system.

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‐ Well, then maybe we should
go to lunch,

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and you can vent
and scream it out.

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‐ Yeah, honestly, Annie,

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I don't even
have time for that.

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I'm just, like, so busy.

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I don't have time
to scream, okay?

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It's just‐‐oh, fuck!

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No. Fuck!

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[Amadi groaning]

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‐ Okay.

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So then I will leave you,

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because it seems like what
you're doing is hard and bad,

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and I'll go to my desk.

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‐ Oh sh‐‐
Annie, shit, I'm sorry.

147
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That's not your desk anymore.

148
00:05:06,174 --> 00:05:08,011
That's Calendar Cody's now.

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[muffled music playing]

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‐ So then where do I sit?

151
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‐ Don't worry.

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You didn't plummet in my eyes
for coming back,

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but you're no longer my hero,
just someone I know.

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‐ Okay.

155
00:05:24,879 --> 00:05:26,423
‐ You pussed out big time.

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00:05:26,423 --> 00:05:28,468
‐ I know.
You keep saying that.

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That's the fourth time
you've said

158
00:05:29,972 --> 00:05:31,391
I pussed out big time.

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‐ I just can't stop
thinking it.

160
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‐ Okay.

161
00:05:33,938 --> 00:05:35,441
Thank you, Maureen.

162
00:05:35,441 --> 00:05:37,821
‐ I was thinking about getting
a lava lamp for us,

163
00:05:37,821 --> 00:05:40,869
but I didn't want you to be
scared that it was real lava.

164
00:05:40,869 --> 00:05:44,292
‐ Yeah, I think I would know
that it's not real lava.

165
00:05:44,292 --> 00:05:47,215
I think I could deduce
that from it.

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[phone buzzes, pings]

167
00:05:48,467 --> 00:05:49,845
Oh.

168
00:05:52,266 --> 00:05:54,730
[chuckles]

169
00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:57,861
‐ What are the chuckles about,
chuckle maniac?

170
00:05:57,861 --> 00:06:01,076
‐ Oh, um, my‐‐
my boyfriend

171
00:06:01,076 --> 00:06:04,123
is meeting my parents tonight
for the first time, so...

172
00:06:04,123 --> 00:06:06,127
‐ Ooh. That's a big deal.

173
00:06:06,127 --> 00:06:07,338
Are you freaking?

174
00:06:07,338 --> 00:06:09,342
‐ I mean, my dad's met him,

175
00:06:09,342 --> 00:06:10,595
but my mom hasn't,

176
00:06:10,595 --> 00:06:13,977
and she can be extremely
judgmental, so...

177
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‐ I remember when my mom
met my boyfriend,

178
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and now he's my stepdad.

179
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‐ God!

180
00:06:20,406 --> 00:06:22,953
I'm sorry.
‐ It's not so bad.

181
00:06:22,953 --> 00:06:24,748
He's a good guy.

182
00:06:24,748 --> 00:06:26,209
I took his last name.

183
00:06:26,209 --> 00:06:28,255
‐ Is he the guy who always
picks you up from here?

184
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:29,967
‐ Yeah.
Cute, right?

185
00:06:29,967 --> 00:06:32,430
♪ ♪

186
00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:33,558
ANNIE: Hi. Good afternoon.

187
00:06:33,558 --> 00:06:35,477
I'm calling from
"The Weekly Thorn."

188
00:06:35,477 --> 00:06:38,275
Um, I had a tip
that you were a freak.

189
00:06:38,275 --> 00:06:39,653
I'm sorry.
Can you say that again?

190
00:06:39,653 --> 00:06:41,907
You're a freak in the sheets

191
00:06:41,907 --> 00:06:44,454
and a regional manager
in the streets?

192
00:06:44,454 --> 00:06:47,168
What you keep describing,
that's‐‐

193
00:06:47,168 --> 00:06:49,297
that's The Riddler
from Batman.

194
00:06:49,297 --> 00:06:52,511
So you don't do it anymore
'cause your teeth are gone.

195
00:06:52,511 --> 00:06:54,015
That tracks.

196
00:06:54,015 --> 00:06:57,229
I think the first thing you
gotta do is find that snake.

197
00:06:57,229 --> 00:06:58,858
No, I‐‐I know.

198
00:06:58,858 --> 00:07:01,112
A little suit covered
in question marks,

199
00:07:01,112 --> 00:07:02,741
that's The Riddler
from Batman.

200
00:07:02,741 --> 00:07:04,912
No, no, no.
Um, no, that's fine.

201
00:07:04,912 --> 00:07:07,041
Thank you.
Thank you for trying anyway.

202
00:07:07,041 --> 00:07:09,295
Thanks. Bye‐bye.

203
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:10,380
Fuck.

204
00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:12,468
How can I not find
a fucking freak?

205
00:07:12,468 --> 00:07:14,598
This is insane.

206
00:07:14,598 --> 00:07:17,854
It's my first fucking day out,
and I can't do this.

207
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,148
‐ I don't want to step
on any toes,

208
00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,779
but I may know of a freak.

209
00:07:21,779 --> 00:07:23,406
‐ Is it your stepdad?

210
00:07:23,406 --> 00:07:25,954
‐ No.
He's not a freak.

211
00:07:25,954 --> 00:07:27,373
I dated him.

212
00:07:30,964 --> 00:07:32,258
MAUREEN: Give it to me.
Give me sex.

213
00:07:32,258 --> 00:07:33,845
Yes.
‐ Okay.

214
00:07:33,845 --> 00:07:35,765
So uh, Maureen tells me

215
00:07:35,765 --> 00:07:38,395
that your whole cycling group
goes out like this.

216
00:07:38,395 --> 00:07:40,357
‐ Yeah, yeah, we've done it
for six years now.

217
00:07:40,357 --> 00:07:41,735
I actually met Maureen here

218
00:07:41,735 --> 00:07:42,988
when I was riding
past her house

219
00:07:42,988 --> 00:07:44,365
and she fell off her roof.
‐ Oh!

220
00:07:44,365 --> 00:07:46,537
‐ I was trying
to catch a hummingbird.

221
00:07:46,537 --> 00:07:49,041
Terrence, can you actually
lean into the light?

222
00:07:49,041 --> 00:07:51,254
As staff photographer,
it's my responsibility

223
00:07:51,254 --> 00:07:52,799
to do a body justice.

224
00:07:52,799 --> 00:07:54,761
‐ Sure.
‐ Um, okay.

225
00:07:54,761 --> 00:07:56,682
So uh, typically,

226
00:07:56,682 --> 00:07:59,353
we just ask for your three
freakiest details,

227
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,525
but I was wondering, um,

228
00:08:01,525 --> 00:08:04,363
could you tell me, like,
why do you like to ride naked?

229
00:08:04,363 --> 00:08:06,535
‐ Well, I'm a budget analyst,

230
00:08:06,535 --> 00:08:08,496
and it can be very
buttoned up,

231
00:08:08,496 --> 00:08:09,541
like, constrained.

232
00:08:09,541 --> 00:08:11,127
You know,
there's a lot of anxiety.

233
00:08:11,127 --> 00:08:12,589
But riding naked

234
00:08:12,589 --> 00:08:15,219
just lets you cut away
all the overthinking.

235
00:08:15,219 --> 00:08:16,972
You just have to do it.

236
00:08:16,972 --> 00:08:18,893
And then I just applied that
to my entire life.

237
00:08:18,893 --> 00:08:20,813
‐ That's really nice.

238
00:08:20,813 --> 00:08:24,487
Um, I mean,
I feel nervous all the time,

239
00:08:24,487 --> 00:08:28,537
but I could never do
what...you do.

240
00:08:28,537 --> 00:08:29,998
‐ Sure, but, you know,
being nervous

241
00:08:29,998 --> 00:08:31,835
is the same thing
as being excited.

242
00:08:31,835 --> 00:08:33,965
It's just two different ways
of looking at it.

243
00:08:33,965 --> 00:08:36,511
And this way, I get to let
my balls kiss the wind.

244
00:08:36,511 --> 00:08:38,557
‐ Well, beautifully put.

245
00:08:38,557 --> 00:08:40,435
And honestly, true.

246
00:08:40,435 --> 00:08:41,521
‐ Now, Maureen,
do you maybe want some

247
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,524
where I'm getting on the bike?

248
00:08:42,524 --> 00:08:43,567
Where I'm on it?

249
00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:45,070
‐ Yeah. Yeah.
Just go slowly,

250
00:08:45,070 --> 00:08:47,324
'cause I want to get you‐‐
the process of getting on.

251
00:08:47,324 --> 00:08:48,661
‐ Oh. Oh. No.

252
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:51,542
I think maybe
just on or off.

253
00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:53,713
No‐‐no process, right?

254
00:08:53,713 --> 00:08:57,094
‐ Well, there implicitly
has to be a process,

255
00:08:57,094 --> 00:08:58,471
but that's all right.

256
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,309
MAUREEN: One for safety.
TERRENCE: Yep.

257
00:09:00,309 --> 00:09:01,477
[camera shutter clicking]

258
00:09:02,479 --> 00:09:03,481
[door closing]

259
00:09:03,481 --> 00:09:05,987
‐ Hello.
‐ Hi.

260
00:09:05,987 --> 00:09:08,366
‐ Ooh! Excuse me, ma'am.

261
00:09:08,366 --> 00:09:10,622
What's this gorgeous look
all about?

262
00:09:10,622 --> 00:09:13,376
‐ I'm taking myself out
on a nice little date tonight.

263
00:09:13,376 --> 00:09:15,297
‐ Ooh! Romantic.

264
00:09:15,297 --> 00:09:16,717
‐ Well, since I've been
not dating,

265
00:09:16,717 --> 00:09:18,763
I have been using myself
for sex,

266
00:09:18,763 --> 00:09:21,142
taking advantage of myself
sexually a lot.

267
00:09:21,142 --> 00:09:24,440
‐ Okay, so that's what all
those "naps" are about?

268
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,902
‐ That's correct.

269
00:09:25,902 --> 00:09:27,446
So I thought I should
at least buy myself dinner.

270
00:09:27,446 --> 00:09:29,033
‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ I mean, I haven't been alone

271
00:09:29,033 --> 00:09:30,369
in so long, so tonight,

272
00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:31,997
I'm just gonna get to know
myself,

273
00:09:31,997 --> 00:09:34,126
only me,
no distractions.

274
00:09:34,126 --> 00:09:35,630
‐ I love that for you.

275
00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:38,510
‐ And you have a nasty little
hot date tonight as well?

276
00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:39,680
‐ Well, yeah.

277
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,767
‐ Introducing the Eastons
to your wolf boy.

278
00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:43,478
‐ Yeah. Please pray for me.
‐ I'm praying for you.

279
00:09:43,478 --> 00:09:44,773
[both laugh]

280
00:09:44,773 --> 00:09:46,819
RYAN: How do I look?

281
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:49,281
‐ You look like a park ranger
in a porno.

282
00:09:49,281 --> 00:09:51,494
[Fran laughs]
‐ Okay.

283
00:09:51,494 --> 00:09:53,666
That's kind of my deal,
though.

284
00:09:53,666 --> 00:09:55,085
Putting my fires out.

285
00:09:55,085 --> 00:09:57,464
‐ Yas.
ANNIE: Have fun tonight.

286
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,928
‐ Thank you.

287
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,518
‐ I'm kind of nervous,
actually.

288
00:10:03,518 --> 00:10:05,982
I don't have to call them
Mom and Dad, do I?

289
00:10:05,982 --> 00:10:07,944
'Cause that'd be weird.

290
00:10:07,944 --> 00:10:10,115
I guess I could call 'em
Mama and Papa.

291
00:10:10,115 --> 00:10:12,579
‐ I mean, I was feeling nervous
earlier, too, you know,

292
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:16,377
but I think we're just nervous
because we're excited,

293
00:10:16,377 --> 00:10:18,716
and it's gonna be, like,
a very special night.

294
00:10:18,716 --> 00:10:21,012
It's a big step.
‐ Yeah.

295
00:10:21,012 --> 00:10:23,141
I just want them to know
I love you.

296
00:10:23,141 --> 00:10:26,481
‐ Yeah, well, they will.

297
00:10:26,481 --> 00:10:30,238
And then we'll just
stick together,

298
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:31,700
and then all you have to do

299
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,453
is just tell them
about yourself.

300
00:10:33,453 --> 00:10:34,956
‐ I can do that.
‐ Mm‐hmm.

301
00:10:34,956 --> 00:10:37,002
‐ I'm an expert on me.
‐ [chuckles]

302
00:10:39,173 --> 00:10:42,387
‐ But we should also probably
have sex, though.

303
00:10:42,387 --> 00:10:46,103
I mean, just to get the nervous
energy and excitement out.

304
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:47,565
You know what I mean?
‐ I don't know.

305
00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:48,692
My parents are at, like,

306
00:10:48,692 --> 00:10:50,195
the front of my brain
right now,

307
00:10:50,195 --> 00:10:52,951
so that kind of makes me,
like, the opposite of horny.

308
00:10:52,951 --> 00:10:54,913
‐ No, no, I totally hear you.

309
00:10:55,998 --> 00:11:00,967
But the problem is you look
really hot right now,

310
00:11:00,967 --> 00:11:04,808
and I'm gonna need to grab you.

311
00:11:04,808 --> 00:11:06,102
[Nilufer Yanya's "H34T RISES"]

312
00:11:06,102 --> 00:11:08,899
WOMAN: ♪ I'll be lost
until we meet ♪

313
00:11:08,899 --> 00:11:11,738
♪ Didn't think
I'd be waiting for you ♪

314
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,826
‐ Okay.
‐ Mm‐hmm?

315
00:11:13,826 --> 00:11:16,623
‐ Yeah, but we just have
to make it quick, okay?

316
00:11:16,623 --> 00:11:19,044
‐ Oh, ten pumps max.

317
00:11:19,044 --> 00:11:20,422
‐ [chuckles]

318
00:11:20,422 --> 00:11:22,384
‐ ♪ Didn't think
I'd be taking orders ♪

319
00:11:22,384 --> 00:11:24,138
♪ Didn't think ♪

320
00:11:24,138 --> 00:11:26,977
♪ And what a mess I'll,
mess I'll be ♪

321
00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:28,606
♪ And what a mess I'll ♪

322
00:11:28,606 --> 00:11:29,941
♪ Mess I'll be ♪

323
00:11:29,941 --> 00:11:32,530
♪ And what a mess I'll,
mess I'll be ♪

324
00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:34,158
♪ And what a mess I'll ♪

325
00:11:34,158 --> 00:11:37,414
♪ ♪

326
00:11:37,414 --> 00:11:39,878
‐ Listen, I don't know what
mesothelioma is, but I'm suing,

327
00:11:39,878 --> 00:11:42,090
and I want my money, okay?

328
00:11:42,090 --> 00:11:43,217
We're all getting paid, okay?
‐ Oh.

329
00:11:43,217 --> 00:11:44,930
That's the coolest guy
from my work.

330
00:11:44,930 --> 00:11:46,600
He recommended this place.
CODY: It don't feel great.

331
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:47,936
But I'm feeling‐‐hey.
ANNIE: Hey.

332
00:11:47,936 --> 00:11:49,940
‐ What's up?
‐ Wow.

333
00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:51,610
All full of nanas.
Cool.

334
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:53,279
BILL: Hello, dear.
ANNIE: Hey.

335
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:56,035
Hi.
‐ Annie!

336
00:11:56,035 --> 00:11:58,247
You look so put together.

337
00:11:58,247 --> 00:11:59,960
‐ Thanks.
I like your hair.

338
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,005
‐ Oh, thank you.
It's new.

339
00:12:02,005 --> 00:12:03,676
ANNIE: Ooh.
‐ You must be Ryan.

340
00:12:03,676 --> 00:12:05,303
You're very tall.

341
00:12:05,303 --> 00:12:08,769
‐ Oh, thanks. It's genetic.
‐ Oh.

342
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:10,856
‐ [chuckles]
Wow.

343
00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:13,277
‐ And it's nice
to see you again, sir.

344
00:12:13,277 --> 00:12:15,700
‐ You, too, but please
call me Bill, all right?

345
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:17,452
RYAN: Oh, I almost forgot,

346
00:12:17,452 --> 00:12:19,123
I got you guys something.

347
00:12:19,123 --> 00:12:24,425
These are my way of saying
thank you for creating Annie.

348
00:12:24,425 --> 00:12:26,512
VERA: Oh!
‐ Oh, wow.

349
00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:29,351
‐ Oh!
‐ My buddy works at the arena.

350
00:12:29,351 --> 00:12:31,940
He gets these for free
when they have, like,

351
00:12:31,940 --> 00:12:35,781
just minor rips
and stains and whatever.

352
00:12:35,781 --> 00:12:37,117
‐ Well, that's
a very kind gesture.

353
00:12:37,117 --> 00:12:38,537
Thank you.

354
00:12:38,537 --> 00:12:40,248
‐ You know, Bill and I
don't really follow sports,

355
00:12:40,248 --> 00:12:41,918
but we love these colors.

356
00:12:41,918 --> 00:12:45,216
‐ Yeah, this is a real surprise
for all of us.

357
00:12:45,216 --> 00:12:48,056
‐ You can put them on
or whatever, like, right now.

358
00:12:48,056 --> 00:12:51,062
‐ Oh!
‐ Okay. Sure!

359
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,648
‐ Putting them on.

360
00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:54,443
‐ Ooh.
It's very high quality.

361
00:12:54,443 --> 00:12:56,030
‐ Wow. That's red.

362
00:12:56,030 --> 00:12:57,199
ANNIE: Very cool.

363
00:12:57,199 --> 00:12:59,411
Well, um, should we maybe
get some wine?

364
00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:00,539
‐ Yes!

365
00:13:04,254 --> 00:13:05,883
‐ Oh, no, no, no.
No bread for us.

366
00:13:05,883 --> 00:13:07,887
Thank you.
‐ Oh, that's okay.

367
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:10,684
We can keep it.
‐ Oh, no, no. You know me.

368
00:13:10,684 --> 00:13:12,814
If it's in front of me,
I'm gonna fill myself up on it.

369
00:13:12,814 --> 00:13:14,191
No.
‐ Yeah.

370
00:13:14,191 --> 00:13:15,528
But I want to have some,

371
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:17,114
and maybe other people
at the table

372
00:13:17,114 --> 00:13:19,118
want to have some, so...

373
00:13:19,118 --> 00:13:21,832
‐ Uh, what do you
want me to do?

374
00:13:21,832 --> 00:13:24,378
‐ Oh, yeah.
You can just leave it.

375
00:13:24,378 --> 00:13:26,298
Thank you.
‐ All right, Ryan.

376
00:13:26,298 --> 00:13:27,969
If you see me
reaching for that bread,

377
00:13:27,969 --> 00:13:30,223
I give you permission
to slap me.

378
00:13:30,223 --> 00:13:31,643
RYAN: Oh.

379
00:13:31,643 --> 00:13:33,479
Well, I would never
hit a woman.

380
00:13:35,651 --> 00:13:36,820
‐ Oh.
‐ Yeah, we know that.

381
00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:39,366
‐ I'm just joking.
‐ Oh, thank God.

382
00:13:39,366 --> 00:13:40,536
'Cause I would never.

383
00:13:40,536 --> 00:13:42,414
‐ Hitting women
is a terrible thing.

384
00:13:42,414 --> 00:13:45,253
‐ And we don't need to talk
about assault at dinner.

385
00:13:45,253 --> 00:13:47,007
RYAN: Okay.

386
00:13:47,007 --> 00:13:48,009
[upbeat music playing]

387
00:13:48,009 --> 00:13:49,219
[bell rings]

388
00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:55,691
♪ ♪

389
00:13:55,691 --> 00:13:56,943
‐ Hey, there.

390
00:13:56,943 --> 00:13:59,239
I haven't seen you in here
in a while.

391
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,951
‐ Yes. Hello.

392
00:14:00,951 --> 00:14:04,792
Just so you know, I will not
be flirting with you tonight.

393
00:14:04,792 --> 00:14:06,211
‐ Oh. Okay.

394
00:14:06,211 --> 00:14:08,759
‐ Previously, I have,
and I would love to again,

395
00:14:08,759 --> 00:14:12,683
but I'm with myself tonight,
actually, so...

396
00:14:12,683 --> 00:14:14,227
just know that you
are very hot,

397
00:14:14,227 --> 00:14:16,273
and normally
I would be flirting.

398
00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:18,904
‐ I mean, it kind of feels
like you still are.

399
00:14:18,904 --> 00:14:20,616
‐ That's just my natural
charisma.

400
00:14:20,616 --> 00:14:22,870
There's nothing I can do
about that.

401
00:14:22,870 --> 00:14:24,498
So do you have anything

402
00:14:24,498 --> 00:14:28,047
that can make me feel like
the only girl in the universe?

403
00:14:28,047 --> 00:14:29,341
‐ I got you.

404
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:32,305
‐ Okay. Wow.

405
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,892
What's all this?

406
00:14:33,892 --> 00:14:35,436
‐ A dab.

407
00:14:35,436 --> 00:14:37,525
‐ And this is for marijuana?

408
00:14:37,525 --> 00:14:38,527
‐ Mm‐hmm.

409
00:14:38,527 --> 00:14:40,698
‐ Not for crack?

410
00:14:47,502 --> 00:14:50,508
[bubbling]

411
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,107
Okay, that might as well
be crack.

412
00:14:58,107 --> 00:14:59,986
♪ ♪

413
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,865
ANNIE: Okay.
You have to eat that egg.

414
00:15:01,865 --> 00:15:03,869
RYAN: I'm not eating that egg.
You eat that egg.

415
00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:05,163
‐ No. You do.

416
00:15:05,163 --> 00:15:07,250
‐ You two are so cute.

417
00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:09,046
How did you two meet?

418
00:15:09,046 --> 00:15:10,423
RYAN: Um...

419
00:15:10,423 --> 00:15:12,385
well, I was working
at the hardware store,

420
00:15:12,385 --> 00:15:15,893
and Annie came in,
and obviously I noticed her,

421
00:15:15,893 --> 00:15:19,650
and she came up to me
and asked what a hammer does.

422
00:15:19,650 --> 00:15:21,905
‐ Yeah, but I‐‐I do know
what a hammer does.

423
00:15:21,905 --> 00:15:24,159
I just wanted an excuse
to talk to you.

424
00:15:24,159 --> 00:15:25,453
‐ Hardware store, huh?

425
00:15:25,453 --> 00:15:26,790
Maybe you can grab me a new,
uh, smoke alarm

426
00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:27,792
next time you're there.

427
00:15:27,792 --> 00:15:28,877
ANNIE: Oh, wow.

428
00:15:28,877 --> 00:15:30,171
‐ Or do they sell
gardening equipment?

429
00:15:30,171 --> 00:15:32,342
Maybe you can get Annie
out working in the yard.

430
00:15:32,342 --> 00:15:33,511
[laughter]

431
00:15:33,511 --> 00:15:36,058
‐ Working in the yard?
What is that?

432
00:15:36,058 --> 00:15:37,185
VERA: I don't know.

433
00:15:37,185 --> 00:15:38,647
When dad and I were dating,

434
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,734
we used to pick cherries
on the weekends.

435
00:15:40,734 --> 00:15:42,153
‐ Right.

436
00:15:42,153 --> 00:15:44,407
‐ Anyway, I don't work
at the hardware store anymore,

437
00:15:44,407 --> 00:15:46,370
or anywhere, really.

438
00:15:46,370 --> 00:15:48,583
VERA: Oh.
BILL: Here we go.

439
00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:49,627
VERA: Oh.
ANNIE: Oh.

440
00:15:49,627 --> 00:15:50,671
RYAN: Beautiful.
BILL: Thank you.

441
00:15:50,671 --> 00:15:54,010
‐ Oh, this is way
too much food.

442
00:15:54,010 --> 00:15:55,681
BILL: Beautiful.

443
00:15:55,681 --> 00:15:57,058
‐ Oh, I better zip it,

444
00:15:57,058 --> 00:15:59,146
or you're gonna write
about me again.

445
00:15:59,146 --> 00:16:00,314
[chuckles]

446
00:16:00,314 --> 00:16:02,110
‐ Um, I'm‐‐I'm actually

447
00:16:02,110 --> 00:16:04,322
gonna go to the restroom.

448
00:16:05,158 --> 00:16:06,911
RYAN: Mmm.

449
00:16:06,911 --> 00:16:09,959
[music playing in distance]

450
00:16:09,959 --> 00:16:11,295
♪ ♪

451
00:16:11,295 --> 00:16:13,174
KARAOKE SINGER:
♪ Fine and natural sight ♪

452
00:16:13,174 --> 00:16:17,808
♪ Everybody's dancing
in the moonlight ♪

453
00:16:17,808 --> 00:16:20,396
♪ Dancing in the moonlight ♪

454
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:23,778
♪ Everybody's feeling
warm and bright ♪

455
00:16:23,778 --> 00:16:27,118
♪ It's such a fine
and natural sight ♪

456
00:16:27,118 --> 00:16:30,792
♪ Everybody's dancing
in the moonlight ♪

457
00:16:30,792 --> 00:16:33,047
‐ Well, he's flat,
and she's pitchy.

458
00:16:33,047 --> 00:16:34,550
KARAOKE SINGER: ♪ Everybody's
feeling warm and bright ♪

459
00:16:34,550 --> 00:16:36,386
‐ Give me the book.

460
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:39,894
KARAOKE SINGER: ♪ It's such
a fine and natural sight ♪

461
00:16:39,894 --> 00:16:41,731
♪ ♪

462
00:16:45,739 --> 00:16:46,824
‐ Oh!
‐ Hey.

463
00:16:46,824 --> 00:16:48,954
‐ Hi.
‐ Hey.

464
00:16:48,954 --> 00:16:50,331
You doing okay?

465
00:16:50,331 --> 00:16:51,751
‐ Yeah. Yeah.

466
00:16:51,751 --> 00:16:54,548
I‐‐it's just a lot,
you know?

467
00:16:54,548 --> 00:16:55,676
‐ Yeah.

468
00:16:55,676 --> 00:16:57,428
You're doing great.
‐ Oh. Thanks.

469
00:16:57,428 --> 00:16:59,516
Well, uh,
drop my name at the door,

470
00:16:59,516 --> 00:17:01,103
and maybe you'll get
a good seat.

471
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,650
BILL: [laughs]
Whoa, whoa, wait.

472
00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:06,363
You're doing my own dad jokes
back to me?

473
00:17:06,363 --> 00:17:08,284
This is a new era.

474
00:17:08,284 --> 00:17:11,039
‐ Hey, uh,
what do you think of Ryan?

475
00:17:11,039 --> 00:17:12,751
‐ Ryan?

476
00:17:12,751 --> 00:17:14,087
He's fine.

477
00:17:14,714 --> 00:17:16,926
‐ Fine?

478
00:17:16,926 --> 00:17:19,180
‐ Fine.
‐ Okay.

479
00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:22,312
Do you want to say more
than one syllable?

480
00:17:22,312 --> 00:17:24,399
‐ Honey, I don't even know
the man.

481
00:17:24,399 --> 00:17:26,236
If he makes you happy,
then I'm happy.

482
00:17:26,236 --> 00:17:28,992
That's all I can say about him.

483
00:17:28,992 --> 00:17:30,119
‐ Okay.
‐ All right.

484
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:31,455
I'll see you out there.

485
00:17:32,498 --> 00:17:35,504
[pensive music]

486
00:17:35,504 --> 00:17:37,843
♪ ♪

487
00:17:37,843 --> 00:17:38,845
‐ [sighs]

488
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,481
BILL: Wow.
VERA: Hmm.

489
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,692
I don't know about
dessert, guys.

490
00:17:45,692 --> 00:17:47,111
This all sounds so rich.

491
00:17:47,111 --> 00:17:50,117
‐ Yeah, but we could get one
for all of us,

492
00:17:50,117 --> 00:17:51,453
and then we all have a bite.

493
00:17:51,453 --> 00:17:52,998
That could be kind of fun,
right?

494
00:17:52,998 --> 00:17:54,627
‐ Good.
VERA: Yeah.

495
00:17:54,627 --> 00:17:58,342
Just been so bad with
all the pasta and the bread.

496
00:17:58,342 --> 00:18:00,471
ANNIE: Okay.
How have you been bad?

497
00:18:00,471 --> 00:18:01,683
It's food.

498
00:18:01,683 --> 00:18:03,185
Like, we're literally
just having a meal

499
00:18:03,185 --> 00:18:05,272
like every other person
in this fucking restaurant.

500
00:18:05,272 --> 00:18:06,567
‐ Hey, Annie.
ANNIE: What?

501
00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:07,986
I'm just saying,
everyone should be allowed

502
00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:09,280
to do whatever they want,

503
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,869
just like you did
when you went to Vancouver.

504
00:18:11,869 --> 00:18:15,459
‐ Okay, well, what I want
is to not have dessert.

505
00:18:15,459 --> 00:18:17,004
‐ Okay. Great.

506
00:18:19,885 --> 00:18:22,181
‐ I have a son in Vancouver.

507
00:18:23,434 --> 00:18:26,524
I'm told not to be a part
of his life.

508
00:18:26,524 --> 00:18:28,987
‐ So can I offer
anyone dessert?

509
00:18:28,987 --> 00:18:30,072
‐ No.
Just the check, thank you.

510
00:18:30,072 --> 00:18:31,074
‐ Absolutely not.
RYAN: Oh, yeah.

511
00:18:31,074 --> 00:18:32,368
Strawberry shortcake.

512
00:18:32,368 --> 00:18:35,082
Um...

513
00:18:35,082 --> 00:18:37,588
Unless‐‐yeah, probably not,

514
00:18:37,588 --> 00:18:38,590
but thank you.

515
00:18:40,259 --> 00:18:43,223
♪ ♪

516
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:48,025
‐ ♪ I'm falling ♪

517
00:18:48,025 --> 00:18:50,237
♪ In all the good times ♪

518
00:18:50,237 --> 00:18:56,793
♪ I find myself
longing for change ♪

519
00:18:56,793 --> 00:18:57,961
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Nice!

520
00:18:57,961 --> 00:19:00,299
‐ ♪ And in the bad times ♪

521
00:19:00,299 --> 00:19:03,013
♪ I feel myself ♪

522
00:19:03,013 --> 00:19:05,518
♪ I'm off the deep end ♪

523
00:19:05,518 --> 00:19:07,940
♪ Watch as I dive in ♪

524
00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:12,950
♪ I'll never meet the ground ♪

525
00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:17,793
♪ Crash through the surface
where they can't hurt us ♪

526
00:19:17,793 --> 00:19:23,136
♪ We're far
from the shallow now ♪

527
00:19:23,136 --> 00:19:28,565
♪ In the sha‐ha‐shallow ♪

528
00:19:28,565 --> 00:19:33,490
♪ In the shallow,
sha‐la‐la‐low ♪

529
00:19:33,490 --> 00:19:36,121
♪ ♪

530
00:19:36,121 --> 00:19:39,127
That unicorn...

531
00:19:39,127 --> 00:19:40,254
It's gorgeous.

532
00:19:40,254 --> 00:19:41,799
That's me.

533
00:19:41,799 --> 00:19:45,431
I can't let people too close
or I'll hurt them with my horn.

534
00:19:45,431 --> 00:19:50,232
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

535
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:56,579
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

536
00:19:56,579 --> 00:20:02,549
♪ Oh, oh ♪

537
00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:05,429
♪ I'm off the deep end ♪

538
00:20:05,429 --> 00:20:08,686
‐ That was nice of him
to give us these jackets.

539
00:20:08,686 --> 00:20:11,651
‐ Uh‐huh.
[laughs]

540
00:20:11,651 --> 00:20:13,571
I'm just worried people
are gonna mistake us

541
00:20:13,571 --> 00:20:15,659
for actual NBA players.

542
00:20:15,659 --> 00:20:17,955
‐ [laughs]

543
00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:19,792
‐ What was going on in there?

544
00:20:19,792 --> 00:20:21,921
That got pretty tense.

545
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:24,092
‐ I feel like
I can't say anything to her

546
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:26,513
or she'll get upset.

547
00:20:26,513 --> 00:20:28,392
I know I'm not perfect.

548
00:20:28,392 --> 00:20:30,187
I'm doing the best I can.

549
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,649
‐ We know that,

550
00:20:31,649 --> 00:20:34,780
but Annie's an adult now,
okay?

551
00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:37,326
You have to talk to her
like an adult.

552
00:20:37,326 --> 00:20:40,875
Got to trust her
to make her own decisions.

553
00:20:40,875 --> 00:20:42,461
That was like
the same old dynamic

554
00:20:42,461 --> 00:20:43,548
from when she was a kid.

555
00:20:43,548 --> 00:20:45,175
You used to count
how many chocolate chips

556
00:20:45,175 --> 00:20:46,595
she could eat in a day.

557
00:20:46,595 --> 00:20:48,265
‐ Well, that was also

558
00:20:48,265 --> 00:20:50,310
to help her
with her arithmetic.

559
00:20:50,310 --> 00:20:52,356
‐ Oh, come on.

560
00:20:52,356 --> 00:20:54,778
‐ I just don't want to get
in a big fight with her.

561
00:20:56,866 --> 00:21:00,497
Where do you think Ryan
got such a shiny shirt?

562
00:21:00,497 --> 00:21:01,751
‐ The hardware store?

563
00:21:01,751 --> 00:21:03,629
[Vera laughs]

564
00:21:04,422 --> 00:21:06,176
RYAN: This was a great idea.

565
00:21:06,176 --> 00:21:09,390
When we didn't order dessert,
I was like, "No!"

566
00:21:09,390 --> 00:21:10,602
‐ Yeah, I know.

567
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,356
My mom is so fucking insane
about food.

568
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:16,237
I just couldn't sit there
and not say anything,

569
00:21:16,237 --> 00:21:18,701
but she ruined
that entire dinner.

570
00:21:18,701 --> 00:21:21,247
I'm really sorry.
That sucked.

571
00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:23,418
‐ I didn't notice
anything weird at all.

572
00:21:23,418 --> 00:21:25,924
‐ What?
That's literally all I noticed.

573
00:21:25,924 --> 00:21:27,803
‐ I thought we had fun.

574
00:21:27,803 --> 00:21:30,432
I like your parents a lot,

575
00:21:30,432 --> 00:21:33,981
and I think they like
the jackets I gave them.

576
00:21:33,981 --> 00:21:35,275
What do you think?

577
00:21:35,275 --> 00:21:36,654
Did I do a good job?

578
00:21:38,448 --> 00:21:40,285
‐ Yeah.

579
00:21:40,285 --> 00:21:43,500
Yeah, I‐‐I think you did
a really good job.

580
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:45,630
‐ Cool.

581
00:21:48,385 --> 00:21:50,013
Can I ask you a question?

582
00:21:50,013 --> 00:21:52,101
‐ Mm‐hmm.

583
00:21:52,101 --> 00:21:53,729
‐ During sex,

584
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,902
you think I'll ever be able
to make you squirt?

585
00:21:58,155 --> 00:22:01,954
I mean, it just seemed like
earlier, you were almost there,

586
00:22:01,954 --> 00:22:06,129
and I would love to be able
to do that for you.

587
00:22:08,885 --> 00:22:12,057
‐ Um, yeah, I don't think
that I can really

588
00:22:12,057 --> 00:22:15,063
do, like,
squirt talk right now.

589
00:22:15,063 --> 00:22:17,193
‐ Fair enough.

590
00:22:17,193 --> 00:22:19,030
CYCLIST: Whoo‐hoo!

591
00:22:19,030 --> 00:22:20,867
[people cheering]

592
00:22:20,867 --> 00:22:22,453
‐ Oh, my God.

593
00:22:22,453 --> 00:22:24,165
[people cheering]

594
00:22:24,165 --> 00:22:26,587
RYAN: Oh, cool!

595
00:22:26,587 --> 00:22:28,716
What is this?

596
00:22:28,716 --> 00:22:31,095
Amazing.

597
00:22:31,095 --> 00:22:32,348
‐ Hi, Annie!

598
00:22:32,348 --> 00:22:34,268
Whoo‐hoo!

599
00:22:34,268 --> 00:22:35,605
[bicycle bells ringing]

600
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:37,776
‐ Annie, I'm not wearing
any socks!

601
00:22:37,776 --> 00:22:39,403
I feel so free.

602
00:22:39,403 --> 00:22:41,449
‐ You know these people?

603
00:22:41,449 --> 00:22:43,078
‐ Well, yeah.

604
00:22:43,078 --> 00:22:44,080
They're my friends.

605
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,000
‐ Whoo‐hoo!

606
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,754
CYCLIST: Whoo!
RYAN: Whoo!

607
00:22:47,754 --> 00:22:49,465
This is the best!

608
00:22:50,802 --> 00:22:53,473
Whoo‐hoo!

609
00:22:54,433 --> 00:22:56,939
CYCLIST: Whoo‐hoo!
‐ Yeah!

610
00:22:56,939 --> 00:22:59,861
Whoo!

611
00:22:59,861 --> 00:23:03,536
MAN: ♪ Blow out
that cherry bomb ♪

612
00:23:03,536 --> 00:23:05,540
♪ For me ♪

613
00:23:05,540 --> 00:23:10,382
♪ Mm, you got to know
it's on your sleeve ♪

614
00:23:10,382 --> 00:23:13,556
♪ Know it's on your sleeve ♪

615
00:23:13,556 --> 00:23:16,144
♪ ♪

616
00:23:16,144 --> 00:23:21,195
♪ It was the longest day
that I'd ever known ♪

617
00:23:21,195 --> 00:23:22,949
♪ ♪

618
00:23:22,949 --> 00:23:25,705
♪ I watched you start
that drive ♪

619
00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:30,757
♪ I could pay to that hand
on your cherry bomb ♪

620
00:23:30,757 --> 00:23:31,842
♪ ♪

621
00:23:31,842 --> 00:23:34,305
♪ Ooh ♪

622
00:23:34,305 --> 00:23:38,521
♪ ♪

623
00:23:38,521 --> 00:23:42,029
♪ Ooh ♪

624
00:23:42,029 --> 00:23:44,910
♪ Ooh‐hoo ♪

625
00:23:44,910 --> 00:23:51,924
♪ ♪