Thanks for letting me explain myself, Camille.
What happened with Gabriel was stupid.
It was a goodbye kiss that turned into something that it shouldn't have.
I'm sorry for hurting you and...
What?
I didn't say anything.
You were clenching your jaw! I heard it pop.
Well, it's just the more you say, the worse it sounds.
- So I should say less? - Or nothing at all.
Uh, she put an omelette pan in our toilet, Em.
Which is why I have to talk to her.
- I need to explain myself. - And beg for forgiveness?
Look, I think most girls would forgive you,
but a French girl, nuh-uh.
You're right.
Why don't you come to the drag club tonight
and drink away your guilt?
- I wish I could, but I have French class. - Oh.
Yeah, I'm levelling up to French II.
And I have to focus, because I need more oral.
I don't think that's your issue.
You can consummate in French, just not conjugate.
More to the left?
No, but I mean if you could just align it with the shelf?
You know what? Put it back to where you had it. Sorry.
Bonjour!
Oh, good morning, Emily.
Who puts their initials on a pan?
That was a gift.
And it's brought me nothing but bad luck, so I'm returning it.
I don't want it, and I don't want anything from you, okay?
- This is just such a huge mess. - I know.
And I'm sorry. I really am.
- Have you seen Camille? - No, have you?
No. I'm staying out of her way. I have a re-opening to focus on.
Hmm, I wish I could hide from her too,
but today she's coming in to Savoir for a Champère meeting.
I'm not hiding.
Call it what you want.
You'd better wash it this time.
With soap and water.
Mindy almost peed on it!
Camille is here.
Maybe it's better if I do the presentation, no?
- Oh. How does she seem? - You know, she's...
I heard all about your dramatic dinner party.
I'm so sorry I missed it. The dinner and the show.
I have a new show at the gallery.
It's very provocative.
I should come by.
Bonjour. Sorry, I'm late.
Let me know. There's some pieces I think you'd like.
I'll do that. Thanks, Camille.
Okay, let's get started.
Traffic was terrible this morning.
I had to ride my bike along Rue Saint-Honoré and...
I'll say it again. I don't care how you get to work, Luc.
It's like he owns a bike to talk about it.
Ow!
Oh, I'm sorry, did that hit your face?
Okay, right, well, we've gotten great feedback
from our focus group on Champère.
I'm sorry. If it's okay with you, I would be more comfortable
conducting our business in French.
There are nuances about my family's company
that cannot be discussed in English, I'm afraid.
By all means! I mean, we're a French company, after all.
Oui. Très bien.
Well, uh, Champère...
est très fantastique.
Et très bien!
As Emily was saying, we were pleasantly surprised
by feedback from the focus group...
Feedback is excellent, especially regarding packaging...
Camille, can we have lunch, or a drink?
I'd really love to explain myself.
Répétez, s'il vous plait?
She said, "It doesn't matter what language you're speaking,
I don't believe a word coming out of your mouth."
Oh. That's not good.
What would you suggest that I do?
Learn French. For starters.
No, no, no! Emily, you're over here! Back with me again.
Oh, I thought that I was moving up to Madam LeFrak, Level 2.
- Oh, no, your classmates are. You're not. - I'm not?
But why? I've never been held back.
For anything.
There's a first time for everything.
Hi, everyone, welcome, new and old faces.
Before you sit, choose a partner to work with.
Remember, this is a French immersion course,
so both of you must exclusively speak French in and out of class.
This is the only way you'll improve.
Bonjour.
I'm Emily.
I'm from Chicago. Where are you from?
Alfie. London.
Bonjour.
I'm Emily.
I'm from Chicago. Where are you from?
Bonjour.
I'm Petra. I'm from Kyiv.
- Oh, nice to meet you, Petra. - Uh...
Enchantée. S'il vous plait.
Bien.
See, Benoît, here she is.
The most overqualified dame pipi in all of Paris.
Oh, stop! But keep going.
Okay, you were incredible. And we might have a job for you.
Yes, I'll perform at your wedding.
Or officiate it, which pays more? I'll do both!
Nothing like that.
We are a band, and actually, we need a singer.
And we play at some pretty cool spots.
Oh.
Wow, that's so flattering, merci.
I wish I could, but right now I need to prioritize my finances.
I owe my housemate about 200 oat milk lattes.
Is that all you're getting here?
Yeah, but I can have as many mints as I want.
Come on.
Talent like yours is worth a lot more than that.
Oh.
I appreciate that, but the problem is, my work visa isn't really working.
Where are you from?
Oh, well, I'm a citizen of the world, but my passport's Chinese.
My mother is Korean, and my dad's from Shanghai.
- I'm from Shanghai too! - Ah, that's why you're so stylish!
Look, you don't need a work visa to sing with us.
- What? - Yeah.
Okay, tell me more. Mint?
Camille liked the idea of a celebrity brand ambassador.
What actress wants to be sprayed with Champère?
- A porn actress! - Luc!
Are you talking about Champère?
Oui. Camille gave us notes on your forward-planning presentation.
Why wasn't I cc'd on that email?
There was no cc. It was a call.
- When? - Does it even matter?
I mean, Google Translate wouldn't have kept up with the conversation.
I'm trying to learn French as quickly as possible, but until I'm fluent,
can we please discuss my accounts in English?
If Camille wants to conduct her business in French, we must abide.
She's the client!
- And we're a client service agency. - But...
Can't talk your way out of this.
You don't have the vocabulaire.
Maybe I need a private tutor to help speed along my French.
Why don't I take you to a classic French film tonight?
- Perfect for learning our language. - I would love that!
I'll check.
- Uh, the poireau people are here. - What?
- I thought we cancelled! - I tried, but they were very persistent.
Poireau?
Oh, um, I don't know that brand. Are they leather goods?
A poireau is a leek.
Yes, and Savoir doesn't market root vegetables.
Can they even afford our fees?
Well, the leek lobby is very powerful in France.
Okay, Emily, after mishandling Pierre Cadault
and compromising Champère with your poor choices,
the leek could be your chance to redeem yourself. Courage.
It shouldn't be called the humble leek.
It's so much more than that.
- Yes. Complex. Mysterious. - Hmm.
Versatile.
Mmm.
Sweet, but earthy.
It's a beloved French staple that deserves international recognition.
Well, then let's give it a makeover.
Lobsters were considered the cockroaches of the sea
until they were marketed as a delicacy.
Precisely. And, as an American, you're perfect.
We'd love a rebrand that boosts our market share in the States,
and we think, with your help, we could be the next Brussels sprouts.
- I hate Brussels sprouts. - So do I.
Bitter little balls of cabbage
that need to be roasted in liters of olive oil to be edible.
Hold the Brussels sprouts, I'll have a potato leek soup.
No potato.
Why do people always toss in a dirty old potato?
Serge! Breathe.
What do you think of the new color?
What was it before?
It was the same.
I'm painting it back to what it was.
So I guess I should call it the old color.
Are you okay?
Uh, I'm not sleeping very well.
I'm having trouble making decisions and, uh...
Right now everybody around here really needs me to make decisions.
- Leek tart for dinner? - What?
Oh, they're for inspiration. I'm planning on marketing them to the US.
You know, leek is not an American vegetable
that hits you over the head with flavor. It's subtle. Elusive.
So misunderstood.
What? Don't laugh at the leek!
Okay, let me show you.
I'm not sure we should be spending time together.
And, plus, you seem pretty busy.
Please, I need a break from not making any decisions.
♪ Magnetic woman ♪
♪ With golden lips and sun eyes ♪
♪ Fine, fine, woman, woman, woman ♪
Leeks have a transformational quality.
You can't rush them.
You have to coax the flavor out. A good reminder is...
Keep the heat low and take it slow. Can you do that?
I'm a very patient person.
I see you running around with your Starbucks, rushing all the time.
Oh, wow.
These are really amazing.
I was watching the entire time,
and I still don't understand how you did that.
Does this make sense to you?
No.
I think it's Cyrillic.
Oh, it's Petra from French class. I forgot we were getting coffee together.
- Like I said... - Sorry.
So how was your meeting with Camille?
Uh...
Well, she refused to talk to me.
And now she's icing me out of her life and her account, so not well.
So maybe just leave it alone then.
I'm not a leek, Gabriel.
I'm a girl from Chicago. Okay?
I can't just magically transform
into someone who can sleep with a friend's boyfriend and not care.
Okay. Sorry. I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do.
There is.
What?
You could tell her that what happened between us didn't mean anything.
I'm not sure I can do that. I'd be lying to her.
Then lie.
Ah! Uh...
You smell. I like pretty smell.
Oh! Merci!
It's De L'Heure.
They my marketing client.
Uh... I can smell for free.
Free?
I no pay.
I love free! Um...
We clothes shop now?
I love to do shopping!
- Okay. - Okay.
J'adore!
Hmm? Yeah.
Oh, yeah!
Joli!
Uh...
That is beautiful hat for head.
Thanks. Chic jacket, yes?
Oui. Uh, very. So chic. So jacket.
Emily!
Beautiful Baguette. Adore.
Oh, oui.
Yes, baguette very beautiful. But money big.
I love free, no?
Yes, I love free!
- Oui. - Oui.
But wait! We didn't pay!
Run!
Wait! Come back! Come back, we can't steal this stuff.
We have to go back!
Huh?
We bad. Take clothes back.
I'm to store.
Oh, no! Oh, no!
Don't you know what happens to Jean Valjean
when he stole the baguette?
Have you ever seen Les Mis?
What are you doing here?
I've texted, called, been to your apartment. I had to see you.
- You've seen me. Now leave. - Not until we talk.
So? Talk. I have art to sell.
I'm so sorry, Camille.
But what happened wasn't Emily's fault. It was mine.
- Did you come here to defend her? - No, I'm the one to blame here.
- It's not fair that she's being punished. - Give Emily some credit.
It's not like she tripped over and landed on your dick.
Look,
I love you.
I love you. We all love each other...
So a ménage à trois is your solution to all our problems?
- That's not what I'm saying. - Then what are you saying?
I want you to know that this is hurting me too.
And that I still love you.
I want us to all get along.
Your hopeless romantic act was charming five years ago.
It's time to grow up.
Ah, what a beautiful cinema!
Paris is filled with them. It's the cinema capital of the world.
But Le Champo was the director François Truffaut's favorite.
I can see why.
There's no better place to learn French and see one of his most famous films.
Jules and Jim. Let's go.
Oh, should we share a popcorn?
Why not?
Thank you.
Monsieur Jim,
would you come help me take my bags to the station tomorrow?
While Jim reads downstairs, she took Jules into her room.
You took me to a movie about a ménage à trois? Really, Luc?
You can relate, no?
I'm late. See you later.
I love you, Jim.
So many unbelievable things we can't understand turn out to be true.
What is happening?
Catherine is reading a love letter to Jim.
She's pregnant with his baby.
And she's begging for him to take her back.
Oh, I thought she was a ghost.
Did we have to see them cremated and their bones crushed to dust?
Of course. It's beautiful. Their love is eternal.
It killed them. It was a tragedy.
Oui. A cautionary tale.
- Did you like it? - I did.
But parts of it were so frustrating.
If Catherine and Jim had only waited for each other's letters to arrive
before sending another one,
there would have been less confusion and they all could have ended up together.
Bad text? Aren't they all?
So direct. Tone deaf.
Letters are more personal.
It's not easy to speak our feelings,
but it's easier to write them on paper and be understood.
Let's have a drink.
How are you going to write an apology letter to Camille in French?
How hard can it be?
Hold that thought.
I've been meaning to tell you, you've been using dog shampoo, sis.
What? Really?
Well, I can't understand the label. How was I meant to know?
Well, there's a dog on the bottle.
There's a woman holding the dog. She has shiny hair!
So does the dog!
I'm really going to need your help with that letter.
I can't today, sorry. I have my first gig with the band.
Already?
Crazy, right? We rehearsed all day yesterday.
They're a little pop, a little jazz, and a lot of gay. I love them.
Wow! From la dame pipi to scat queen.
Let's not go with that.
I'm just glad I'll finally be able to pay you back.
Or at least buy you some human shampoo.
Oh, get out of here!
Bye, bitch. Hey, good luck with that letter.
Julien?
What's "I didn't know he was your boyfriend
when I kissed him" in French?
Mmm-hmm. And what about when you slept with him?
Okay, just google it, Emily.
Oh, uh, Sylvie, do you mind if I ask you a language question?
Well, if you must.
Is, "I am sad that I am naughty"
grammatically correct?
It's definitely in your voice.
What's this for?
Oh, just homework for French class. We're practicing letter-writing.
Oh, how provincial.
Oh, that reminds me, those onion-breath ploucs
from the leek lobby want to hear your idea today.
Um, yeah, it's almost ready.
Très bien.
Oh, as impressive as your French is getting,
they value your Americanness.
So I suggest you present in English.
D'accord.
Hey, Mindy! Over here!
Is the gig here?
Oui, gorgeous spot, huh?
Beats the toilettes.
Are we part of an outdoor music festival?
Don't worry, the acoustics are better than you'd expect.
And we get great reverberation off the fountain.
Why did you...
Wait, are we busking?
I received this for you.
Merci, Peter.
Chère Camille.
I'm very sorry you hurt.
You welcome me to Paris,
I'm happy for your friend.
Do you believe I miss me?
I like you most, daughter.
I am sad that I am naughty.
I forgive your lost heart.
I very need you
to talk and hear, please.
Love forever, Emily.
And the tag line is "Le Leek c'est Chic!"
Or what about, "Oh, La, La, Les Leeks"?
Or, "Leek Your Nudes."
The model is naked, lower half covered in leeks,
and for the upper half,
she holds
two potatoes.
- No potatoes! - No, potatoes...
- Potatoes... - It's not just the tag line.
The whole thing feels like a little cliché.
Yeah, no, I agree.
I mean, if you want to attract Americans, why not just give them magic leek soup?
- Oh. - What's magic leek soup?
Leeks are a diet food for French women.
We boil them and drink the water. It's our magic trick. Our little secret.
Why didn't you tell me that earlier?
Then it wouldn't be a secret, would it?
I don't think that there's a magic way to lose weight.
That sounds like something Gwyneth would push on Goop.
Oh! You can get us on Goop?
Oh, let's do that. Please!
- What's Goop? - The thing with the American actress...
Have you heard of this?
Of course. It's a common drink that helps shed kilos.
What? That sounds so bad for you.
Yes, but it's perfect for America.
I just don't think that we should be promoting weight loss cures.
Fad diets are really dangerous.
And America is more about health and wellness now.
Americans love anything about weight loss.
Any gimmick!
They want fast and easy!
Can we get a Kardashian?
Come on. Surely you agree, Americans love a shortcut.
A drive-thru. A quick fix.
Well, yeah. Sure we do.
Then soup's not gonna work. It takes too long to cook.
We'd need something that's ready to go.
That's bottled, like, I don't know, cold-pressed juice.
Cold-pressed leek juice!
Leek you can drink.
Choose the magic soup from Goop!
Voilà.
- Merci. Merci. Thank you. Thank you. - Merci.
- Merci beaucoup. Merci, monsieur. - Ah, merci.
You were right, Benoît. This is good money.
Told you.
Can they do that? Isn't this our spot?
We don't own it.
- Guys, let's not lose our audience, okay? - Yeah.
♪ When I was young ♪
♪ I never needed anyone ♪
♪ And making love was just for fun ♪
♪ Those days are gone ♪
♪ Living alone ♪
♪ I think of all the friends I've known ♪
♪ When I dial the telephone ♪
♪ Nobody's home ♪
- What's he doing? - Ignore him, Mindy.
Here's your cue. Come on.
♪ All by myself ♪
♪ Don't want to be ♪
♪ All by myself ♪
♪ Anymore ♪
Am I off key?
No. You sound amazing. Don't let him get to you.
Mimes are an occupational hazard. They always steal our tips.
Uh!
Not today!
♪ Don't want to be ♪
♪ All by myself ♪
♪ Anymore! ♪
Whoo!
♪ Don't want to live ♪
♪ All by myself ♪
♪ Anymore ♪
♪ All by myself ♪
♪ Don't want to live ♪
♪ All by myself ♪
♪ Anymore ♪
- Emily Cooper? - How dare you.
Ooh, is it for me?
Oui. A client, Camille.
Oh, it's in French.
Allow me to translate.
"Emily..."
I don't understand why you did what you did,
just like I don't understand a fucking word in your letter.
Leave me alone, you illiterate sociopath.
"...Camille."
Oops, oops, oops.
Sorry, Emily.
Unlike magic leek soup,
there's no "quick fix" for betraying a friend.
Bonjour again.
I knew you'd be back.