1 00:00:07,890 --> 00:00:08,959 Good job, guys! 2 00:00:08,984 --> 00:00:11,313 All in all, I'd say it was a pretty successful 3 00:00:11,337 --> 00:00:14,858 Eyes Wide Shut sex party slash fundraiser for UNICEF. 4 00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:17,068 The time traveling glory hole was a great touch. 5 00:00:17,092 --> 00:00:19,321 Dirty Randy's still going at it, aren't ya, bud? 6 00:00:19,345 --> 00:00:23,200 Whoa-ho! My dong inadvertently caused the assassination of JFK! 7 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:24,993 Wasn't that a B-story on Modern Family? 8 00:00:25,017 --> 00:00:27,977 That party sucked. No one wanted to sacrifice Ragu. 9 00:00:28,647 --> 00:00:30,248 No way the petting zoo's gonna take him back 10 00:00:30,272 --> 00:00:31,982 with that haunted look in his eyes. 11 00:00:36,402 --> 00:00:37,278 I finally did it! 12 00:00:37,303 --> 00:00:40,531 I perfectly deboned this brrranzino. 13 00:00:40,555 --> 00:00:43,742 It took me 147 tries but... Wait, wh-where is everyone? 14 00:00:43,766 --> 00:00:45,744 Party's over, man. You took too long with the fish. 15 00:00:45,768 --> 00:00:47,872 I told you, just order Burger Lounge. 16 00:00:47,896 --> 00:00:50,541 Everyone at an orgy expects to be eating Burger Lounge. 17 00:00:50,565 --> 00:00:52,793 Burger Lounge: Eat Clean, Fuck Dirty. 18 00:00:52,817 --> 00:00:55,713 I guess I'll just enjoy this perfectly deboned European Sea Bass 19 00:00:55,737 --> 00:00:57,137 by myself. 20 00:01:00,109 --> 00:01:01,176 Should we save him? 21 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,244 Yeah, I guess give him the Shlorplich maneuver. 22 00:01:06,945 --> 00:01:08,898 Just for the record, I was just 23 00:01:09,367 --> 00:01:10,695 pretending to choke. 24 00:01:18,301 --> 00:01:20,154 Ah crap, the Pupa's blue. 25 00:01:20,178 --> 00:01:22,531 - Uh, what does that mean? - You're the Pupa specialist! 26 00:01:22,555 --> 00:01:25,183 Right... and what does that mean? 27 00:01:25,516 --> 00:01:28,478 Aisha, access the Pupa's informational color swatches. 28 00:01:30,146 --> 00:01:32,374 Okay, royal blue means the Pupa has kennel cough, 29 00:01:32,398 --> 00:01:35,753 cornflower blue means one of us just had a sex dream about the other one, 30 00:01:35,777 --> 00:01:37,922 navy blue means his Hulu plan is expiring, 31 00:01:37,946 --> 00:01:39,840 robin's egg blue means we get a free Xbox, 32 00:01:39,864 --> 00:01:41,990 Pacific blue means we all die at midnight! 33 00:01:43,201 --> 00:01:45,286 We were so close to gettin' that Xbox! 34 00:01:46,287 --> 00:01:48,248 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia 35 00:01:48,748 --> 00:01:50,250 until the asteroid hit. 36 00:01:51,584 --> 00:01:53,896 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa 37 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,940 and escaped into, uh, the space, 38 00:01:55,964 --> 00:01:58,383 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds. 39 00:01:59,050 --> 00:02:01,987 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet. 40 00:02:02,011 --> 00:02:03,739 That's right, I've been talking this whole time. 41 00:02:03,763 --> 00:02:05,491 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo. 42 00:02:05,515 --> 00:02:06,368 This is, this is my show. 43 00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:07,910 I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me? 44 00:02:07,934 --> 00:02:09,286 This is ridiculous. 45 00:02:09,310 --> 00:02:11,288 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. 46 00:02:11,312 --> 00:02:12,165 People are stupid. 47 00:02:12,189 --> 00:02:13,916 They love having robots do their jobs, 48 00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:15,834 but they don't create a system of universal income 49 00:02:15,858 --> 00:02:18,212 so they can have money after the robots take their jobs. 50 00:02:18,236 --> 00:02:19,278 It makes no sense! 51 00:02:28,955 --> 00:02:30,307 Okay, let me break it down for you. 52 00:02:30,331 --> 00:02:31,934 Oh yeah, baby, break it down, break it down... 53 00:02:31,958 --> 00:02:33,143 Shut the fuck up, Terry! 54 00:02:33,167 --> 00:02:35,479 Since the Pupa's turned blue, he's been emitting a protein dust 55 00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:37,273 that triggers a natural mechanism in our bodies 56 00:02:37,297 --> 00:02:38,524 that kills us in 12 hours. 57 00:02:38,548 --> 00:02:41,402 Ooh, stakes! People are listening now! 58 00:02:41,426 --> 00:02:42,945 After we die, the Pupa will eat us, 59 00:02:42,969 --> 00:02:45,114 then evolve and terraform this shit stain of a planet 60 00:02:45,138 --> 00:02:46,407 into the image of our home world. 61 00:02:46,431 --> 00:02:48,492 Hey, alright! That means we're closer to completing the mission. 62 00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:49,327 We are so good at this! 63 00:02:49,351 --> 00:02:52,288 I bet when I die, I'll be so popular at school. 64 00:02:52,312 --> 00:02:55,082 Last year, Jeannie Scarlatos got crowned homecoming queen 65 00:02:55,106 --> 00:02:57,001 after a moose kicked her in the heart. 66 00:02:57,025 --> 00:02:58,586 Ooh, I've never died before! 67 00:02:58,610 --> 00:03:00,921 But I have seen Weekend at Bernie's like a hundred times, 68 00:03:00,945 --> 00:03:03,132 so I guarantee it's gonna be hilarious. 69 00:03:03,156 --> 00:03:04,884 You know, dying is gonna be great for all of us. 70 00:03:04,908 --> 00:03:07,011 Let's gather all our stuff and burn it on the front lawn. 71 00:03:07,035 --> 00:03:08,971 I don't want any humans touching my shit while I'm dead. 72 00:03:08,995 --> 00:03:10,389 And then we can dig the pits we die in. 73 00:03:10,413 --> 00:03:11,932 Ooh, I gotta get my shovel back from Keith. 74 00:03:11,956 --> 00:03:14,458 Better hurry, Pupa's looking hungry. 75 00:03:21,674 --> 00:03:23,569 Keith, whatever dumb shit you're doing right now, stop. 76 00:03:23,593 --> 00:03:26,322 Korvo! Hey, buddy, check out my new business: 77 00:03:26,346 --> 00:03:28,032 "Fruit By Keith By The Foot." 78 00:03:28,056 --> 00:03:29,325 I'm making my own fruit snacks. 79 00:03:29,349 --> 00:03:31,035 I don't have time for your crazy neighbor antics. 80 00:03:31,059 --> 00:03:31,912 Give me back my shovel. 81 00:03:31,936 --> 00:03:33,662 Oh okay. You digging a hole or something? 82 00:03:33,686 --> 00:03:36,290 If you must know, I'm gonna be dying in about 12 hours, 83 00:03:36,314 --> 00:03:37,416 and I need to dig my death hole. 84 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,085 Oh my God. Korvo, I'm so sorry. Are you sick? 85 00:03:40,109 --> 00:03:41,754 No, it's complicated alien shit. 86 00:03:41,778 --> 00:03:43,505 I'm not gonna sit here and explain it to a moron. 87 00:03:43,529 --> 00:03:46,091 Well, I gotta say, I'm impressed with your attitude. 88 00:03:46,115 --> 00:03:48,969 If I knew I was going to die today, I'd be freaking out. 89 00:03:48,993 --> 00:03:49,721 What? Why? 90 00:03:49,745 --> 00:03:51,764 I mean, you know, death is so final. 91 00:03:51,788 --> 00:03:54,558 There's so much I'd feel like I need to do in my life before I die. 92 00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:56,668 What do you mean "death is final"? 93 00:03:58,336 --> 00:04:00,898 Oh, oh, guys. Um, after we burn our stuff, let's salt the Earth, 94 00:04:00,922 --> 00:04:02,566 - you know, like, just for safety. - Guys! Guys, stop! 95 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,151 We were lied to about what happens when you die! 96 00:04:04,175 --> 00:04:06,487 Does this mean we actually get that Xbox? 97 00:04:06,511 --> 00:04:09,031 I call first dibs, I wanna play the Moonlight LEGO game! 98 00:04:09,055 --> 00:04:10,616 No! Do know what YOLO means? 99 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,117 Isn't it like the white version of FUBU? 100 00:04:12,141 --> 00:04:14,328 No! Keith just told me that when you die, that's it, 101 00:04:14,352 --> 00:04:15,496 you don't get to do anything after! 102 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:16,914 Y-you cease to exist! 103 00:04:16,938 --> 00:04:17,915 What? No, no, no, no. 104 00:04:17,939 --> 00:04:20,876 Look, I watch a lot of cartoons, and death is not a big deal. 105 00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:22,628 Apparently, those cartoons aren't accurate! 106 00:04:22,652 --> 00:04:24,838 This whole time, we were supposed to be living fulfilling lives! 107 00:04:24,862 --> 00:04:26,382 He's also making his own fruit leather, 108 00:04:26,406 --> 00:04:29,051 and I made fun of it until I tried some, and it's actually really good. 109 00:04:29,075 --> 00:04:31,095 But we're dying in 11 hours. 110 00:04:31,119 --> 00:04:32,972 Well, how are we supposed to live full lives 111 00:04:32,996 --> 00:04:35,391 in the same amount of time it takes to digest a McFlurry? 112 00:04:35,415 --> 00:04:37,351 Hey! Maybe we're already fulfilled. 113 00:04:37,375 --> 00:04:40,187 One of my tweets did get a like from Post Malone. 114 00:04:40,211 --> 00:04:41,438 He's pretty busy. 115 00:04:41,462 --> 00:04:44,149 Oh my God, you're right! Maybe we are fulfilled. To the ship! 116 00:04:44,173 --> 00:04:46,652 The dictionary defines fulfillment as 117 00:04:46,676 --> 00:04:50,906 "being satisfied or happy as a result of fully developing one's character." 118 00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:52,825 Okay, yeah, tha... I mean, that sounds like us. 119 00:04:52,849 --> 00:04:53,868 We've done that, I think. 120 00:04:53,892 --> 00:04:55,560 Ayeesh, pull up the fulfillment meters. 121 00:04:57,479 --> 00:04:59,707 Fuck ass, look at that! We're hardly fulfilled at all! 122 00:04:59,731 --> 00:05:01,333 Aisha, how much time do we have until death? 123 00:05:01,357 --> 00:05:04,003 Eleven hours, 43 minutes, and 23 seconds. 124 00:05:04,027 --> 00:05:04,963 - Cripes! - Aw, fuckers! 125 00:05:04,987 --> 00:05:06,797 Okay, calm down. We still have time to get fulfilled. 126 00:05:06,821 --> 00:05:08,382 It's gonna be tight, so no time to waste. 127 00:05:08,406 --> 00:05:10,843 Everyone needs to write down all the things that will make you fulfilled. 128 00:05:10,867 --> 00:05:12,267 You have one hour. Go! 129 00:05:21,377 --> 00:05:23,981 Ugh, why did we waste a whole hour writing these ideas? 130 00:05:24,005 --> 00:05:26,233 I did mine in, like, five minutes then Googled up-kilt pictures 131 00:05:26,257 --> 00:05:27,359 the rest of the time. 132 00:05:27,383 --> 00:05:28,986 There's some big ol' dongs in that. 133 00:05:29,010 --> 00:05:31,196 Geez, there's a lot of these. "Learn how to crip walk." 134 00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:32,656 "Shoot an avenge porn." 135 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:33,866 "Fight the Property Brothers." 136 00:05:33,890 --> 00:05:35,242 Yay! The pink ones are mine! 137 00:05:35,266 --> 00:05:36,952 Crip walk dancing isn't gonna move the needle. 138 00:05:36,976 --> 00:05:38,662 We have to do the one that makes us the most fulfilled 139 00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:39,663 in the least amount of time. 140 00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,040 Win a Teen Choice Award? 141 00:05:41,064 --> 00:05:42,708 It's the last step to winning an AGOT. 142 00:05:42,732 --> 00:05:45,294 Adult Video News, Grammy, Oscar, and Teen Choice. 143 00:05:45,318 --> 00:05:47,504 Part of an AGOT won't do it. You need the whole AGOT. 144 00:05:47,528 --> 00:05:49,215 - End global warming? - That's mine. 145 00:05:49,239 --> 00:05:51,175 I don't know, it felt like something people talk about, right? 146 00:05:51,199 --> 00:05:54,136 Too easy. We could just do that with our End Global Warming Ray. 147 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,347 Hunt down and kill Carmen Sandiego. 148 00:05:56,371 --> 00:05:57,556 Hell yeah, this one's mine. 149 00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:59,934 Fuck Carmen Sandiego, always rubbing it in our face 150 00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:01,143 that she gets to travel for a living! 151 00:06:01,167 --> 00:06:03,604 "Help a rag-tag group of kids win a sports championship." 152 00:06:03,628 --> 00:06:04,439 - Hey, that's it! - What? 153 00:06:04,463 --> 00:06:06,106 Why would we care about that? It sounds stupid. 154 00:06:06,130 --> 00:06:08,317 Hey, that's not stupid, that's my idea! 155 00:06:08,341 --> 00:06:09,401 Yes, we don't care about it. 156 00:06:09,425 --> 00:06:12,363 But if we do care about it after we finish, then we'll be fulfilled 157 00:06:12,387 --> 00:06:13,948 just like Gordon Bombay in The Mighty Ducks! 158 00:06:13,972 --> 00:06:15,699 Told you it wasn't stupid, Yumyulack! 159 00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,159 Oh, it was totally stupid, Jesse. 160 00:06:17,183 --> 00:06:19,036 But then I figured out a way to make it cool. 161 00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:20,663 Come on, no time to waste. 162 00:06:20,687 --> 00:06:23,123 Goddamn, you motherfuckers are back again? 163 00:06:23,147 --> 00:06:25,084 We need you to find us the nearest championship game. 164 00:06:25,108 --> 00:06:27,443 Okay, it's kinda out of season but let me see. 165 00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:30,464 The closest option is a water polo championship 166 00:06:30,488 --> 00:06:32,675 in Rio De Janeiro. Y'all got swimming suits? 167 00:06:32,699 --> 00:06:35,344 Ugh, water polo is just wet hockey. It'll have to do. 168 00:06:35,368 --> 00:06:39,288 The Solar Opposites are going to Brazil to get fulfilled! 169 00:06:44,085 --> 00:06:46,253 Stop that! We don't have time for any cool establishing shots! 170 00:06:51,050 --> 00:06:52,361 Ah, that took way too long! 171 00:06:52,385 --> 00:06:54,220 Come on, let's find the rag-taggers and get on with this. 172 00:07:08,526 --> 00:07:10,921 Holy guacamole, mama like. 173 00:07:10,945 --> 00:07:12,965 Goddammit, none of these guys are rag-taggy at all. 174 00:07:12,989 --> 00:07:15,342 They swim all day, of course they look like Greek fucking Gods. 175 00:07:15,366 --> 00:07:18,036 Who cares? Just pick a team and I'll zap 'em with the Rag Tag Ray. 176 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:22,039 Asthmatic and from a C-list South American country? Boom. 177 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:27,980 Now they're tagged to the rag. 178 00:07:28,004 --> 00:07:29,315 - You missed one. - No, I didn't. 179 00:07:29,339 --> 00:07:31,025 I just want to win for my dad. 180 00:07:31,049 --> 00:07:33,068 He has butt cancer in his heart. 181 00:07:33,092 --> 00:07:35,404 Okay, guys, I know you're super rag-tag and down on your luck 182 00:07:35,428 --> 00:07:37,364 but if you listen to our coaching and work as a team, 183 00:07:37,388 --> 00:07:38,407 we can go all the way! 184 00:07:38,431 --> 00:07:40,034 Plus we have to do this as fast as possible. 185 00:07:40,058 --> 00:07:41,911 I just want to make my dad proud. 186 00:07:41,935 --> 00:07:43,871 He got his heart butt cancer from smoking. 187 00:07:43,895 --> 00:07:44,937 We get it. 188 00:08:45,707 --> 00:08:47,458 I love you, butt cancer dad! 189 00:08:48,251 --> 00:08:49,812 Thank you for making us champions. 190 00:08:49,836 --> 00:08:51,480 But can you turn me back to young. 191 00:08:51,504 --> 00:08:53,524 I was so hot and had a beautiful voice 192 00:08:53,548 --> 00:08:54,984 and got tons of pussy. 193 00:08:55,008 --> 00:08:57,010 No, we have to get back and see how fulfilled we are. 194 00:08:57,385 --> 00:08:59,530 Hurry, hurry! Check the meters. Are-are-are we fulfilled? 195 00:08:59,554 --> 00:09:01,073 I feel pretty dang satisfied! 196 00:09:01,097 --> 00:09:03,409 Oh shit! They've hardly moved at all. 197 00:09:03,433 --> 00:09:04,493 No! That should've worked. 198 00:09:04,517 --> 00:09:07,454 We wasted so much time on that stupid water polo thing. 199 00:09:07,478 --> 00:09:09,187 Jesus Christ, the Pupa looks so hungry. 200 00:09:11,190 --> 00:09:12,334 I can't go down like this! 201 00:09:12,358 --> 00:09:14,169 Ugh! You know what? You're all holding me back! 202 00:09:14,193 --> 00:09:16,672 Fuck you, guys, I'm getting fulfilled by myself! 203 00:09:16,696 --> 00:09:18,424 - Okay, I'm gonna go. Fuck you! - Give me a slip. 204 00:09:18,448 --> 00:09:20,199 Fuck you losers! 205 00:09:23,411 --> 00:09:25,055 Help an old lady across the street. 206 00:09:25,079 --> 00:09:27,892 Why are all of Korvo's ideas about doing stuff to old ladies? 207 00:09:27,916 --> 00:09:29,316 Hey, Granny! Stop! 208 00:09:29,459 --> 00:09:31,478 - Ugh! You're hurting me! - No, I'm not, this is helping! 209 00:09:31,502 --> 00:09:34,231 I need to go to the bus on the other side of the street. 210 00:09:34,255 --> 00:09:35,524 No time! I'm getting fulfilled! 211 00:09:35,548 --> 00:09:37,926 - Ah, what the fuck! Ah! - Eat shit! 212 00:09:39,594 --> 00:09:41,989 Teach someone to read. Ugh, stupid Jesse. 213 00:09:42,013 --> 00:09:43,240 Why can't I do something awesome, 214 00:09:43,264 --> 00:09:45,225 like see how many grapes I can fit in my mouth? 215 00:09:47,644 --> 00:09:49,413 Now your baby can read. You're welcome! 216 00:09:49,437 --> 00:09:50,355 What? Why? 217 00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:52,541 Now you can read. Getting fulfilled! 218 00:09:52,565 --> 00:09:54,627 I could already read, I'm a famous novelist. 219 00:09:54,651 --> 00:09:56,045 Now your hat can read! 220 00:09:56,069 --> 00:09:57,755 Stop that! What are you doing? 221 00:09:57,779 --> 00:09:58,465 - Your car can read! - Help! 222 00:09:58,489 --> 00:10:00,758 This alien is educating my things! 223 00:10:00,782 --> 00:10:02,468 Stop right there, you dirty alien! 224 00:10:02,492 --> 00:10:04,637 Oh God, I can read? What if I gain empathy? 225 00:10:04,661 --> 00:10:06,513 What if I learn things that force me to re-evaluate 226 00:10:06,537 --> 00:10:07,806 my hardline conservative opinions? 227 00:10:07,830 --> 00:10:09,707 - Ahh! - Oh my God! 228 00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,686 I don't have a lot of time, so I have to learn how to skydive 229 00:10:12,710 --> 00:10:13,938 and get baptized at the same time. 230 00:10:13,962 --> 00:10:17,191 I'm certified by the FAA and our Lord and Savior... 231 00:10:17,215 --> 00:10:18,692 Jesus Christ! 232 00:10:18,716 --> 00:10:21,487 Dunk your head in the holy water! 233 00:10:21,511 --> 00:10:24,531 Korvo, I now baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and the... 234 00:10:24,555 --> 00:10:25,950 Oh shit, I dropped the bowl! 235 00:10:25,974 --> 00:10:27,374 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 236 00:10:36,568 --> 00:10:38,110 Oh, looks like God was on our side! 237 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,489 Although his ways are mysterious. 238 00:10:42,865 --> 00:10:44,093 What are you doing, little girl? 239 00:10:44,117 --> 00:10:47,203 I'm freein' the Willys, ya dumb cracker! 240 00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:57,504 Have fun being free, Willys! 241 00:11:02,135 --> 00:11:04,446 Alright, Jake Slater, you have been kissed. 242 00:11:04,470 --> 00:11:06,949 Just to be clear, this probably would have fulfilled Jesse more than me. 243 00:11:06,973 --> 00:11:09,410 Whoa. I've never been kissed like that before. 244 00:11:09,434 --> 00:11:10,494 Will you go to prom with me? 245 00:11:10,518 --> 00:11:11,977 Depends on what you're wearing! 246 00:11:25,909 --> 00:11:28,304 - What the fuck are you doing here? - Hello, Ms. Frankie. 247 00:11:28,328 --> 00:11:31,265 Yumyulack wanted to tell you "to go fuck yourself twice, 248 00:11:31,289 --> 00:11:33,517 you has-been bag of stinky dog piss." 249 00:11:33,541 --> 00:11:36,562 - Hurtful but continue. - And Terry wanted to... 250 00:11:36,586 --> 00:11:38,713 - Oh, hells no. - What is it? 251 00:11:47,096 --> 00:11:48,282 I'm watching you! 252 00:11:48,306 --> 00:11:50,201 - But I'm dancing like you're not! - Aah! 253 00:12:19,128 --> 00:12:20,981 Don't... Oh! 254 00:12:21,005 --> 00:12:22,590 Dammit, Frankie, I'm on the clock. 255 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,864 Wait, Samantha! Don't get on that plane. I love you. 256 00:12:28,888 --> 00:12:31,033 What? Me? I don't know you! 257 00:12:31,057 --> 00:12:32,182 I love you more than anything I've ever... 258 00:12:57,959 --> 00:12:59,478 Man, that was some good fulfilling! 259 00:12:59,502 --> 00:13:01,605 I'm so fulfull, I'm gonna yack. 260 00:13:01,629 --> 00:13:04,650 Let's not start tuggin' each other's nonexistent dicks quite yet. 261 00:13:04,674 --> 00:13:05,734 We don't know if it worked. 262 00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:07,695 Oh, I have a feeling I'm completely fulfilled. 263 00:13:07,719 --> 00:13:10,197 I didn't give a woman six and a half orgasms for nothing. 264 00:13:10,221 --> 00:13:13,600 Aisha, pull up our fulfillment meters and prepare to be impressed. 265 00:13:14,851 --> 00:13:16,495 Mostly? What the fuck? 266 00:13:16,519 --> 00:13:19,456 What? I don't understand, we did all our slips! 267 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:20,749 Ooh, my word of the day! 268 00:13:20,773 --> 00:13:22,543 Today's word is dilatory, 269 00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:24,545 meaning moving or proceeding at less than normal speed. 270 00:13:24,569 --> 00:13:25,796 I'll use it in a sentence: 271 00:13:25,820 --> 00:13:27,548 I am dilatory all the time 272 00:13:27,572 --> 00:13:29,675 because I'm kinda lazy and fuckin' stupid. 273 00:13:29,699 --> 00:13:30,699 Ooh! 274 00:13:31,951 --> 00:13:34,430 Oh my God, I'm fulfilled! I did it! I feel amazing! 275 00:13:34,454 --> 00:13:35,764 I YOLO'd and you didn't! 276 00:13:35,788 --> 00:13:37,205 You're Yo-Losers! 277 00:13:39,208 --> 00:13:41,961 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's that button? Ha ha! 278 00:13:42,503 --> 00:13:43,398 Whoo! 279 00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:46,150 Fuck you! Fuck you! And fuck you! 280 00:13:46,174 --> 00:13:47,610 Shut up, Terry! You suck. 281 00:13:47,634 --> 00:13:48,570 Yeah, shut up! 282 00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:50,404 Make me, you unfulfilled motherfuckers! 283 00:13:50,428 --> 00:13:51,511 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 284 00:13:54,515 --> 00:13:56,243 Ah geez, he really splatted. 285 00:13:56,267 --> 00:13:58,287 It wasn't even that much of a fall. 286 00:13:58,311 --> 00:13:59,711 Hey, that's my "b" guys. 287 00:14:00,271 --> 00:14:03,167 Stop licking Terry's blood, you Ragu! Show some respect! 288 00:14:03,191 --> 00:14:04,585 Wait a minute. When Terry died, 289 00:14:04,609 --> 00:14:07,129 it looks like his fulfillment points transferred over to me. 290 00:14:07,153 --> 00:14:08,505 I'm almost fulfilled now. 291 00:14:08,529 --> 00:14:10,049 Holy shit, I guess we're in a 292 00:14:10,073 --> 00:14:12,551 "there-can-only-be-one" Highlander- type situation. 293 00:14:12,575 --> 00:14:14,803 Wait, I thought that show was about a hot nurse 294 00:14:14,827 --> 00:14:17,014 who goes back in time to get her ass eaten out? 295 00:14:17,038 --> 00:14:18,057 No, that's Outlander. 296 00:14:18,081 --> 00:14:20,267 Highlander means if one of us kills the other two, 297 00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:21,936 we'd be totally fulfilled before we die. 298 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:22,854 Okay. That tracks. 299 00:14:22,878 --> 00:14:24,438 But we would never kill each other, right? 300 00:14:24,462 --> 00:14:25,898 I mean, w-we're a family. 301 00:14:25,922 --> 00:14:28,007 - Yeah. That's, that's what we all think. - Sure. A family. 302 00:14:28,675 --> 00:14:31,987 I'm gonna go mourn Terry in another part of the house. 303 00:14:32,011 --> 00:14:35,491 I'm gonna go do, uh, some Solar Opposites stuff. 304 00:14:35,515 --> 00:14:39,036 And I am going to go write a Rotten Tomatoes user review 305 00:14:39,060 --> 00:14:40,412 of Thor: The Dark World. 306 00:14:40,436 --> 00:14:43,815 So people can know my thoughts on that particular Thor movie. 307 00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:49,444 It's so great that we're not preparing to kill each other. 308 00:15:03,918 --> 00:15:06,504 Hey, beautiful. You ready to fuck shit up? 309 00:15:10,508 --> 00:15:13,136 Dammit. Why did I design this to only turn when you go backwards? 310 00:15:16,764 --> 00:15:20,196 - Perfect. - Aisha, I need that magic potion. 311 00:15:20,221 --> 00:15:21,579 The one we keep in Narnia? 312 00:15:21,603 --> 00:15:23,414 We promised we would never go back. 313 00:15:23,438 --> 00:15:25,791 No, the secret magic potion that Jewish wizard taught me! 314 00:15:25,815 --> 00:15:27,215 Hurry! 315 00:15:27,859 --> 00:15:29,795 Baruch Atah Adonai 316 00:15:29,819 --> 00:15:31,905 Expellilumus Leviosa... 317 00:15:32,989 --> 00:15:34,156 Ugh! 318 00:15:41,998 --> 00:15:43,934 No fair, you have a tank! 319 00:15:43,958 --> 00:15:46,979 Yeah, and I'm gonna blast you and develop the shit out of my character! 320 00:15:47,003 --> 00:15:50,190 Maybe that would have worked before I made my magic me's! 321 00:15:50,214 --> 00:15:51,614 Come on out, boys! 322 00:15:53,217 --> 00:15:53,945 That's not fair! 323 00:15:53,969 --> 00:15:56,071 Jesse, what did you do? Aren't you trying to kill us too? 324 00:15:56,095 --> 00:15:58,824 Oh gosh, no. I would never do that to my family. 325 00:15:58,848 --> 00:16:01,059 Typical Jesse. So stupid. 326 00:16:02,559 --> 00:16:03,536 - Ow! - Oww! 327 00:16:03,561 --> 00:16:06,081 Psych! I Home Alone'd the whole house! 328 00:16:06,105 --> 00:16:08,107 Welcome to Hell, boys! 329 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,360 Die, you creepy little Korvos! 330 00:16:16,324 --> 00:16:17,724 Oh! 331 00:16:26,626 --> 00:16:28,026 Ah! 332 00:16:31,339 --> 00:16:33,967 Ha! Try getting all those feathers off of you! 333 00:16:48,189 --> 00:16:49,773 I'm gonna kill that kid! 334 00:16:52,735 --> 00:16:55,047 Come out here, normal-sized Korvo! 335 00:16:55,071 --> 00:16:57,656 - It's time for me to finish you! - Not quite yet! 336 00:17:00,493 --> 00:17:02,096 Meet ogre Korvo. 337 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,162 Or as I like to call him, Orgo. 338 00:17:20,346 --> 00:17:21,746 Aah... 339 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,855 Oh my God, Yumyulack is dead! 340 00:17:30,566 --> 00:17:32,626 My brother from another toe mother! 341 00:17:32,650 --> 00:17:34,318 Yeah, I killed him, and you're next. 342 00:17:38,531 --> 00:17:40,426 Wait a minute. W-what are we doing? This feels wrong. 343 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:43,012 Should we really be killing each other just to get these stupid points? 344 00:17:43,036 --> 00:17:45,472 I was just thinking the same thing! 345 00:17:45,496 --> 00:17:48,225 We should have spent these last 12 hours with each other, 346 00:17:48,249 --> 00:17:50,394 enjoying the company of family. 347 00:17:50,418 --> 00:17:52,545 I'm sorry, Jesse. Y-you're right. 348 00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:56,275 Korvo, I'm scared. 349 00:17:56,299 --> 00:17:58,235 Is, is dying gonna hurt? 350 00:17:58,259 --> 00:18:01,238 No, I, I think it'll be peaceful, li-li-like falling asleep. 351 00:18:01,262 --> 00:18:03,991 Well, I'm glad that at least we'll die together. 352 00:18:04,015 --> 00:18:06,368 You know what? Maybe spending time with people you love 353 00:18:06,392 --> 00:18:07,912 is what gives your life meaning. 354 00:18:07,936 --> 00:18:10,706 Not some bucket list or making a history teacher cum so hard 355 00:18:10,730 --> 00:18:13,959 - she loses feeling in her left side? - Korvo, that's beautiful. 356 00:18:13,983 --> 00:18:15,568 Come here, ya big lug. 357 00:18:21,074 --> 00:18:22,301 No, Korvo! 358 00:18:22,325 --> 00:18:24,970 My last booby trap, I forgot all about it! 359 00:18:24,994 --> 00:18:27,640 I'm so sorry! No! 360 00:18:27,664 --> 00:18:29,064 Wait! 361 00:18:31,042 --> 00:18:32,686 I'm fulfilled! 362 00:18:32,710 --> 00:18:34,021 It feels amazing! 363 00:18:34,045 --> 00:18:36,839 I'm fulfilled, mother scratchers! 364 00:18:37,674 --> 00:18:39,818 But I only have a minute left. 365 00:18:39,842 --> 00:18:41,153 I gotta do this right. 366 00:18:41,177 --> 00:18:43,030 Korvo said it's all about family. 367 00:18:43,054 --> 00:18:45,973 It's time to bring this baby full circle. 368 00:18:57,193 --> 00:18:58,170 Goodbye, Pupa. 369 00:18:58,194 --> 00:19:01,698 Remember not to eat us too fast or you'll get a tummy ache. 370 00:19:05,743 --> 00:19:07,579 Any moment now. 371 00:19:09,747 --> 00:19:12,458 Maybe that old clock was just a little fast. 372 00:19:16,754 --> 00:19:18,315 Ah cripes, 373 00:19:18,339 --> 00:19:21,026 did I kill our family for no reason? I hate when... 374 00:19:21,050 --> 00:19:22,450 Holy sh... 375 00:19:42,530 --> 00:19:44,216 Look at that Pupa eating our fruit. 376 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:46,635 Maybe save some and make a jam, you little fatty! 377 00:19:46,659 --> 00:19:48,262 Alright, so w-what next? 378 00:19:48,286 --> 00:19:50,764 Is the Pupa gonna terraform the world once he's done eating the fruit? 379 00:19:50,788 --> 00:19:52,766 - You're the Pupa specialist! - Right, right, right, right. 380 00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:55,686 No, I-I-I meant like for everyone else who doesn't know what the Pupa does. 381 00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:56,687 Jesus, Terry. No. 382 00:19:56,711 --> 00:19:58,939 There's like a bunch more steps in his evolution after this. 383 00:19:58,963 --> 00:20:01,483 This is just step eight. Or-or nine. I don't know. 384 00:20:01,507 --> 00:20:04,904 Oh, look at him go. You were a hungry little Pupa, weren't you? 385 00:20:04,928 --> 00:20:06,971 Pupa, get over here and suck the sap off my trunk! 386 00:20:07,305 --> 00:20:09,116 Whoa, you're all trees now? 387 00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:11,327 Of course we are. We-we died and came back as trees. 388 00:20:11,351 --> 00:20:13,996 - Why do you sound surprised? - 'Cause it's fuckin' crazy. 389 00:20:14,020 --> 00:20:16,207 When humans die, we just turn into rotten mush. 390 00:20:16,231 --> 00:20:17,666 We don't come back as trees. 391 00:20:17,690 --> 00:20:20,211 Okay, smartass, but then where did all the trees come from? 392 00:20:20,235 --> 00:20:21,046 I mean, they're everywhere. 393 00:20:21,070 --> 00:20:22,463 I don't know, those are just trees. 394 00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:24,590 You're telling me human death operates by different rules 395 00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,508 and we didn't have to get fulfilled before we died? 396 00:20:26,532 --> 00:20:27,302 I guess not. 397 00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:29,595 We destroyed our house because of your bullshit, Keith! 398 00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:30,846 How was I supposed to know? 399 00:20:30,870 --> 00:20:31,972 Fuck you, Keith! You suck! 400 00:20:31,996 --> 00:20:35,476 And your Fruit by Keith by the Foot tastes like Poop by Keith from the Butt! 401 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,062 I wasted my cool-ass hidden tank because of you! 402 00:20:38,086 --> 00:20:40,064 Jesus Christ, calm down! I thought you were dying! 403 00:20:40,088 --> 00:20:41,357 You're a piece of shit, Keith! Fuck you! 404 00:20:41,381 --> 00:20:42,650 Hey! Ow! 405 00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:43,776 - Stop! - Die, die! 406 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,569 When we grow our legs back, we're gonna kill you! 407 00:20:45,593 --> 00:20:47,112 - Yeah, Keith! - I was just trying to help! 408 00:20:47,136 --> 00:20:49,281 You better move, Keith! You better change your identity! 409 00:20:49,305 --> 00:20:51,724 We're going to spend the rest of our lives hunting your stupid ass down! 410 00:20:52,392 --> 00:20:55,454 Wow, it turns out hatin' on Keith together 411 00:20:55,478 --> 00:20:57,540 was what finally fulfilled them all. 412 00:20:57,564 --> 00:20:59,542 - Ah, I feel so fulfilled! - Me too! 413 00:20:59,566 --> 00:21:02,628 Aw, this is amazing. We should've just been tormenting Keith all along. 414 00:21:02,652 --> 00:21:04,672 It's so nice to be fulfilled as a family. 415 00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:07,424 Whoa-ho-ho! I can already see my feet starting to form, 416 00:21:07,448 --> 00:21:08,926 so you better pack up, you little bitch! 417 00:21:08,950 --> 00:21:10,594 You don't know how many seasons we're gonna have, Keith! 418 00:21:10,618 --> 00:21:12,846 We're aliens. We can grow into trees and come back 419 00:21:12,870 --> 00:21:14,014 season after season! 420 00:21:14,038 --> 00:21:15,099 I'm gonna cut your eyes out! 421 00:21:15,123 --> 00:21:16,164 Yeah, I'm gonna kick you in the dick! 422 00:21:18,543 --> 00:21:19,853 You know guys, all in all, 423 00:21:19,877 --> 00:21:22,648 this was a pretty satisfying end to our day. 424 00:21:22,672 --> 00:21:24,775 Yeah, that's actually kind of the end to our whole year. 425 00:21:24,799 --> 00:21:26,902 Man, what a run. We did a lot this year. 426 00:21:26,926 --> 00:21:27,821 Wait, that's really the end? 427 00:21:27,845 --> 00:21:30,155 We ran around worrying about death, that's how we go out? 428 00:21:30,179 --> 00:21:33,075 Yeah, I mean, what else do you want? Some fuckin' hacky holiday special? 429 00:21:33,099 --> 00:21:36,704 I would never, ever, in a million years do something as lame and cash-grabby 430 00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:38,455 as a Solar Opposites holiday special. 431 00:21:38,479 --> 00:21:40,416 Yeah, the Solar Opposites have integrity. 432 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:41,458 That's right. We have integrity! 433 00:21:41,482 --> 00:21:43,377 And we would never sacrifice that for anything... 434 00:21:43,401 --> 00:21:44,212 Hold on, hold on. 435 00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:45,987 I'm getting a text from Hulu. 436 00:21:46,983 --> 00:21:48,628 - Huh. - What does it say, Korvo? 437 00:21:48,653 --> 00:21:51,048 Is it about our integrity? 438 00:21:51,112 --> 00:21:53,446 Sort of. Goddammit.