[♪ dramatic theme playing]
[♪ pleasant music playing]
Fancington Pines has it all,
a saltwater spa, $15 iced teas, and regular-sized golf.
I didn't know you could putt-putt without the windmill!
It's just short grass. We have that at home.
Bone marrow on tap and an oyster bar?
Is there anything fancy Fancington doesn't have?
Genre inclusivity.
That's why I'm the chair of the Sci-Fi Diversity Initiative.
We have so many rich humans and only a couple rich aliens.
Your family would be an excellent addition.
Hold up, the only time I'm a token alien is at a Phish concert, bruh.
Oh, you're not token at all.
We already have sci-fi members.
They're dining in the Luxe Lounge right now.
I don't know if we're going to fit in at a place like... Holy socks!
[Terry] Oh! That's the alien from Alien
and General Chang from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.
[Solars exclaiming]
- Wait, aren't they bad guys? - Only on screen.
In real life, they're producing partners.
Hey, Chang! Quote some Klingon Shakespeare!
- [screams] - He doesn't like it when people ask that.
Where do we sign the membership agreement?
I assume there's some fraternity hazing we have to endure?
Walking around in our underwear,
drinking to excess, maybe some light torture?
I'll finally have a place to wear my tennis skirts!
I'm so sick of all the written complaints from the climbing gym.
So what if they're getting a peep? That's the point.
I was in the moment I heard it was exclusive,
not like the Burger King Kids Club.
This is the perfect place
for a whirlwind romance with a dance instructor
who's from the wrong side of the tracks.
Before any of that,
we need to find a time for you to meet with the board
to be evaluated.
I think you're great, but they don't let many new families in.
They don't? Oh, man, we're boned!
- [phone ringing] - Ugh, I gotta take this.
It's my uncut gem guy.
You guys have a real chance.
They just wanna make sure you aren't freaky weirdos.
We're very normal.
- [eyeball pops] - [all yelp]
Uh, Korv? Your eye just fell out!
What, ew! He's gonna think we're weird.
[Yumyulack/Jesse] Hide it, hide it!
Alright, I think I can get you in with the admissions board tomorrow.
Well, that can't be right. Tomorrow's Halloween!
Won't they be busy Monster Mashing like everyone else?
[laughs] We don't celebrate a lowbrow nitwit holiday
like Halloween here at Fancington Pines.
Will tomorrow be a problem?
No, no!
We hate Halloween, and we don't even have brows.
- We'll be there. - Great, I'll make sure you're confirmed!
- See you tomorrow. - [Korvo retching]
[Solars gag]
The Solar Opposites are joining a country club!
Sorry, are we just gonna ignore the fact that you barfed up a bat?
Because you got real upset when I barfed up
The Solar Opposites Halloween Special 2!
[Korvo] Planet Shlorp was a perfect Jack-O-Lantern
until the clown head hit.
A hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
and shot into the... space
which was full of cobwebs and candy.
We crashed on Earth wearing a big witch hat,
stranding us on an already decorated planet.
Yes, that's right, I've been haunting this whole time.
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo. This is my special.
Oh, bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
Oh, this is ridiculous.
I hate Halloween. It's a horrible holiday.
Oh, I can't believe we're doing this again.
Look at that big purple cat!
[♪ dramatic music playing]
Man, I'm so dang peeved that we aren't really doing Halloween.
How can Fancington Pines not respect Dracula's birthday?
God, what'll the libs ruin next?
Oh, maybe we should do an afterschool special instead!
We can all get addicted to drugs and play with a downed power line.
Halloween sucks!
It's below Passover in my top ten list of holidays.
Dia de los Mentos is at the top!
You gotta celebrate the Freshmaker!
Decorations?
What part of, "We aren't doing Halloween" do you two not understand?
Wait, is this because you still think Halloween is too spooky?
No, the only thing I'm scared of is not getting into Fancington Pines.
Halloween is out, being classy and non-nitwitty is in.
- [eyeball pops] - [all yell]
Korvo, I wanna be respectful here,
but what the fuck is happening with your eyes?
I don't know, who gives a shit?
It's just, the eye thing combined with the bat barfing,
you're seeming kinda spooky.
I'll tell you what's not spooky.
This Cerulean Alo Yoga tennis skirt.
Oh, gimme!
- [teeth clattering] - Ugh!
Uh, you okay, buddy?
Yes, let's focus on the task at hand.
You know your teeth just fell out.
It's not very feminist to ask people to smile.
You look like a creepy pumpkin.
What, no, I don't! I'm just a regular hairless alien!
[all gasp]
- [thunder crashes] - [witch cackling]
Hello, my pretties!
I am the First Witch,
one of the legendary spirits of Halloween.
I spread Halloween fun and chaos to all who celebrate.
Wow, oh, my God!
Welcome! Happy Halloween, The First Witch.
Piss off! We are a family of science,
and we stopped celebrating Halloween earlier today.
[cackling]
Stopped celebrating Halloween?
Oh, no, my pretty,
I think you'll find that you are Halloween!
- [thunder crashes] - Stop calling me pretty.
At most, I'm boyishly handsome,
and I have nothing to do with Halloween.
Since you killed the Great Pumpkin last Halloween,
his holiday spirit has transferred to you, my pretty.
Uh, needle scratch, what?
Korvo is the new Great Pumpkin!
Shut your witch ass up.
I'm a great addition to a country club, is what I am.
Agh! There is no resisting the Halloween spirit.
If you try, it will manifest around you.
[thunder crashes]
There's no stopping this.
You are the Great Pumpkin!
Oh, yeah? Would the Great Pumpkin do this?
- [laser fires] - [First Witch screaming]
Korvo, no! You gotta stop zapping holiday creatures in the living room.
I just got that elf out of the carpet.
Oh, bollocks, she's reforming!
You can't destroy a magical witch with sci-fi stuff, Korvo.
Yeah, everyone knows that.
Pupa, JK Sevens!
If you can find a way to kill this Witchlet,
I will buy each one of you
one of those sticky, slappy hand things you love so much.
Remember, sci-fi stuff won't work.
I'm only bringing it up again because neither of you really talk,
so I wanna make sure you don't forget it later.
- Alright! - [JK beeping]
Wait a minute.
You told us that the Great Pumpkin was alive and well.
I... I don't recall saying those exact words.
I do. Something fishy is going on here, Korvo!
Yeah, I think Halloween is stupid and the Great Pumpkin is a bubble butt,
but you did say that!
I was in a tight spot.
Our neighbor Randall, the one who was way too into his haunted house,
he was gonna kill me and the Crypt Keeper.
I had to carve up the Great Pumpkin to save us.
How was I supposed to know his powers
followed the same rules as The Santa Clause?
That's some bullshit genre mixing, if you ask me.
It does seem like a stretch.
Look, I promise, after we get into the country club,
we'll deal with the Great Pumpkin stuff.
Okay, but I don't wanna forget like we do with everything else
we say we aren't gonna forget.
We have one day to get posh, and then we'll do the pumpkin shit.
- [all cheering] - [teeth clattering]
Oh, dammit. Help me pick up my teeth.
- [tailor humming] - Oh!
You want-a da slim fit?
Whatever your snootiest club members wear.
Most of them wear-a slim fit.
- [explosion booms] - [all gasp]
Oh, Go... Oh!
I, I must have forgotten to take my Ozempic!
- Measure again. - [explosion booms]
[tailor stammering]
Il fantasma!
[screaming]
Korvo, the Witch said spooky stuff would happen
if you resisted your Halloween-ness,
and now you're clearly a pumpkin
and Terry turned into a friggin' ghost!
I still think you look great.
Of course, I look great, honey. I'm a dime piece.
But I don't wanna be a ghost. Now I can't wear any cool shirts, see?
[grunting] Ugh!
How are we going to hide Terry's ghost-ness at the interview?
If we can't impress them with fancy new outfits,
maybe we can distract them with fancy-ass cars.
Yes, great idea.
I always judge people by the price of their car.
Stupid sperm tail.
I look like Casper the Friendly Fart!
[JK Sevens beeping]
My pretties!
Bye-bye.
[Witchlet squelching]
[Witchlet raving]
[Pupa grunts]
Can I interest you in any of our hair-raising deals
with bone-rattling low rates?
You can cut the Halloween crap.
Give us your fanciest, most country-club-iest, car-iest car.
- [explosions boom] - [Jesse/Terry gasp]
[explosions booming]
- What the hell? - Don't even start!
That witch said this would happen.
I'm sorry, but if people saw someone
as weird as you in one of our vehicles,
it could make the entire brand seem dorky.
It's happened before.
[whispers] Tesla.
[Korvo] Maybe all we need is perfect table manners.
It says here, you're supposed to start on the outside
and work your way in.
This blade ain't gonna do the trick if I need to fuck someone up.
It's way too dull. Ah, I cut myself!
Owie, ow!
Stop it, shut up!
Fancy people care about this stuff, so we have to.
I need you to make an effort.
Okay, fine, we will.
Good, I trust you.
Plus, I'm electrifying the table,
so try hard to get the answers right.
You can't electrify a tablecloth.
- [electricity crackling] - [Yumyulack yelping]
Ow, you zapped my stabbin' hand!
Hey, Korvo, I think you finally figured out
how to beat the Halloween spookiness.
- [explosion booming] - [all scream]
Meow. Looks like now I'm one of those sexy cats
everyone's always dressing up as for Halloween.
Aw, man, no fair!
I wanna be a sexy cat.
[doorbell rings]
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
Oh, no, it's Ranch!
Everyone act like we aren't turning into shit.
Hello there, Ranch. What a pleasant surprise.
'Kay, bye, now.
I just wanted to check on my favorite aliens
before their big day.
[gasps] Oh, my God, you're all so spooky.
You all used to be sci-fi.
It's not what it looks like.
I know exactly what it looks like,
and it looks like you're turning into a pumpkin
and transforming those around you with some sort of Halloween magic.
Damn, he's good.
Hey, at least I'm still an alien.
[explosion booms]
Aoofta!
Now I'm a werewolf, and I'm hungry for candy corn!
[howling]
What the hell is going on around here?
It's hard to explain, but I'll bet you a billion dollars
we can undo this Halloween chaos before tomorrow.
[explosion booms]
- Yeah! - [♪ upbeat spooky music playing]
Just to be clear, that was a rhetorical bet.
[Ranch] There's no chance you'll get into Fancington
looking like this.
We have a conservative board.
They all smoke indoors, and none of them wear seat belts.
Maybe we can push the interview, do it later in the year
where their right-wing views will be softened
by watching the Avatar movies.
No, tomorrow's the last day they're meeting people!
But since my name's on the line,
I'll help you find a way to hide all this disgusting Halloweenie-ness.
We'll do anything.
We're good at hiding how disgusting we are.
- [retches] - [candy rattling]
Ew, Mary Janes, barf.
Still, candy is candy.
Oh, goddamn it.
Mm, goddamn it.
He's not gonna do this in front of the board, right?
- Oh, no, no. - Goddamn it!
It doesn't make any sense for me to keep eating this candy,
but I'm gonna do it.
[Korvo] You really think this is gonna trick the rich folk,
covering up my orange and making me look expensive?
This is the exact shade of silver they use on the Webby Award statues.
Top-of-the-line shit.
Is that the same paint that poisoned the Tin Man?
Yeah, that's why we had to buy it through AliExpress.
- [explosion booms] - Oh, dammit!
- [razor buzzing] - Ooh, la, la.
I went from Halloween tragic to sexy magic.
- [explosion booms] - [Jesse screams]
- [thud] - Oh, geez.
[Terry] What do you think? Not looking like a ghost now, huh?
- Pretty hot, right? - Mm, it's not working.
You just look like an even cheaper ghost.
[Terry] How about with the blacklight?
Don't worry about the stains.
They're just piss and shit and soup and blood.
And cum.
Focus, you're not a sorority girl, and this isn't rush week.
Now, repeat after me.
"The quarrelsome queen quaffed quickly and quietly."
Meow! Why don't we quit this silly nonsense
and go out on the town?
"The quarrelsome queen quaffed quickly and quietly!"
[purrs] Wanna hold each other's hair when we throw up?
"The quarrelsome queen--"
[gasps] Jackie hooked up with Dennis?
That bitch knows we've been texting.
You have to help me destroy her!
[groans] This is impossible.
You all have too much Halloween chaos energy.
Plus, to be honest, you're also kind of gross,
and I think you have clinical focus issues.
And I still look like a pumpkin.
But I wanna wear the tennis skirts and drink seltzer water
and be judgmental with the other pro shop wives.
It's my dream, dammit.
There's one last thing we could try,
but it's pretty drastic.
I used to dabble in Halloween myself.
My sophomore year at Harvard.
I loved the drinking,
the pretending that ground beef was Frankenstein's brains,
and watching Hellbound: Hellraiser II over and over again
for the entire month of October!
But my youthful dalliances brought great shame to my family.
How did they heal you?
They had a book from the Old World
full of witchcraft and dark magic.
They used it to create an elixir which straightened me out.
I love elixirs!
They're like the Snapples of the magic world.
Why didn't we do the elixir thing right off the bat?
- [bat screeches] - Whoa! I didn't wanna suggest it.
The elixir causes a drastic change!
You won't recognize yourselves.
Yes, that's what we need!
Trying to buy a fancy car is one thing,
but are you sure you wanna mess with dark magic?
We have to.
God, I would kill for a cosmo right now.
I don't know, maybe we're just a chaotic family
and aren't cut out for Fancington Pines.
We can be our chaotic selves in the privacy of our own home
and hobnob with the elites at the club.
- Best of both worlds! - Okay.
And not just because you quoted the Hannah Montana theme song.
All we need is a big, black pot with a heat source.
Whoa, we get to use the multipurpose holiday cauldron again.
And you said we'd never use it more than twice.
[thunder crashes]
[Ranch] This book is an old family heirloom
brought over on the Mayflower.
Goddamn, this smells like a dead dog's dick.
And I would know. [laughs]
It's ancient and made from skin!
But the smell is from when my basement flooded last year.
We must cast that which makes Halloween chaotic
into the cauldron!
An empty candy bowl with a note telling you to donate to UNICEF!
A Napoleon Dynamite costume!
Farewell, sweet prince.
A sack of pennies handed out by an elderly woman!
Ugh, cheap bitch.
Some eggs, some toilet paper, and et cetera.
[potion bubbling]
The elixir is set.
Oh, now you must bathe in it
to remove the holiday chaos from yourselves.
[Solars screaming]
Oh, God! Oh, it burns!
This is what it must feel like to be a tongue on Hot Ones!
It's working!
- [♪ sinister music playing] - [potion bubbling]
[explosion booms]
[pedestal whirring]
- Did it work? - Yes!
Didn't you hear me screaming?
No, I was in a cauldron.
Right. Well, yes, it worked.
[JK Sevens beeping]
[train rumbling]
[Witchlet squelches]
- Yeah, woo-hoo! - [happy beeping]
[♪ sinister music playing]
[Witchlet cackling]
[train rumbling]
[Pupa sighs]
[Witchlet squelches]
[board member] You've surprised us today.
This board usually finds aliens to be too whimsical,
zapping things with rays and whatnot.
Oh, that's not us.
We just like to be rich and hold as still as possible.
I know it well. I just have one final question.
What is your favorite type of chalice?
Uh, jeweled.
[board murmuring]
We are most impressed with your sedate, compliant,
almost paper-white temperament.
Your application to Fancington Pines is accepted.
[Solars] [unenthusiastically] Yay.
This is the high point of our lives.
[laughs] That's the unmistakable bored affect
of a Fancington man.
We did it. We're members just like you.
Can I see that little mouth you got inside your mouth?
Oh, man, if I had one of those, I'd be fucking and sucking everything.
[General Chang] What do you think you're doing?
This is the private members-only dining room.
We just passed the rich guy test, we're members.
[both laughing]
You fools aren't members!
But we shook an old man's hand.
Look around and tell me if anyone else is wearing one of those hideous blazers.
[Korvo] Oh, my God.
If these aren't members' blazers...
You just got hired as valets.
[both laughing]
[club members laughing]
You're being a real bitch right now.
Us aliens have to stick together.
We're real aliens, not some low-rent plants.
That's why we're the stars of film franchises.
Fetch my Rivian, you dandelion bitch.
I'll have you know we are personal friends with Ranch White.
When he finds out about this, heads will roll!
Who's Ranch White?
That's the most made-up rich guy name I've ever heard.
[club members laughing]
[Terry] As first impressions go, not great,
but I say we go back tomorrow, park a few cars, and see if it's fun.
That club is full of nothing but rich twunts,
and those aliens were the biggest shitbags of the bunch!
We should have seen this coming!
Why would a place called Fancington Pines ever want us?
We're not pines.
And why did they act like they didn't know who Ranch was?
The worst part is, we gave away all our fun Halloween chaos
to get into that stupid club.
We love Halloween.
It's October 31st.
We still have time to get our Halloween chaos
back from the cauldron.
- Oh! - [♪ sinister music playing]
No, all our chaotic cauldron goo is gone!
That can't be right.
Did we go to the wrong alien spaceship with a cauldron in it?
Where, where are your keys?
Just do the beep to see if we... if this is the wrong one.
[sinister laughter]
Ranch, why are your eyes glowing?
Did you drink the chaos goo?
Gobble, gobble, motherfuckers.
[all scream]
[arm whirring]
[gasoline sloshing]
[explosion booms]
- [Pupa grunts] - [Witchlet screeching]
- [thunder crashing] - Gobble, gobble, gobble!
Is he laugh-gobbling?
Yeah, but nobody gobbles on Halloween.
You really messed up, Ranch!
That was an interview for valets!
- I set you up! - You did, why?
I'm not Ranch White, cool country club fuck boi.
I'm actually the holiday spirit of Thanksgiving,
the Grand Brown Gravy!
- [Solars gasp] - The what now?
You've heard of me.
I'm like the Great Pumpkin but for Thanksgiving,
Okay, must not be as popular of a spirit.
Oh, once the Great Pumpkin was slain,
I've been waiting,
plotting to steal his powers from Korvo.
But Thanksgiving is nothing like Halloween!
Which is why I have to destroy Halloween forever!
- No! - [gravy sloshing]
Hey, get your nasty-ass gravy off my man.
Thanksgiving is always an afterthought,
a punchline nobody looks forward to because of the dry turkey.
[Yumyulack] Just leave Halloween alone!
You already have a holiday!
One day, people won't remember Thanksgiving at all,
just like Plough Monday!
Maybe Thanksgiving deserves to die,
and people can just get together and have dinner.
Oh, not with my new double holiday spirit powers!
I will steal everything about Halloween and apply it to Thanksgiving!
An irresponsible amount of drinking, sexy gourds,
and kids going door to door to get slices of cranberry sauce!
It's going to be beautiful!
Not if we kick your ass first!
[laser fires]
Sci-fi stuff doesn't work on holiday spirits.
The only thing that could destroy me would be Halloween stuff,
and you dumbasses threw all yours in a cauldron!
[sinister laughter]
We still have Halloween candy and decorations downstairs.
Let's use those to take this butt nugget down!
[Grand Brown Gravy roaring]
- [Solars panting] - Let's take a moment before fighting
to reflect on what we're most thankful for.
- No, fuck you! - [Yumyulack grunts]
Take that!
Oh, crap, he turned our Halloween stuff into Plough Monday shit.
It's Thanksgiving shit, you bastard!
[groans]
Dammit, attack them, my food warriors.
[Jesse screaming]
- [Yumyulack grunting] - [cork popping]
[Korvo] Let's get to the backyard!
You can run, but the holidays always creep up!
What the hell? Where are all the plastic spiders
and inflatable pride dinosaurs?
I spent too much of my decorating time looking for tennis skirts!
- [thud] - [both scream]
Not the cranberry sauce!
We're so fucked!
- [horn toots] - Pupa, please, please tell me
you didn't manage to kill the Witchlet.
- [sad beeping] - Oh, God, they killed her!
Why?
- [JK Sevens beeps] - They ripped her head off!
It's so sick. [retches]
Halloween is over forever!
The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland will just be a regular mansion now.
[Solars sobbing]
[glass cracks]
[beeps]
What do you mean you have a confession?
Wait, where did you two get these things?
Witchlet!
You let her bribe you with Power Wheels then gave her snacks and a place to stay?
- Bad Pupa and bad robot! - [JK Sevens beeping]
Whoa, I am not translating that.
You're lucky we need this Witchlet, or you'd be in big trouble.
[explosion booms]
[Grand Brown Gravy laughing]
It's dinnertime!
Please, little witch, forgive me for trying
to kill you and all the other stuff!
Please help us save Halloween!
[Witchlet] Hmph.
- [Grand Brown Gravy laughing] - [monsters growling]
[fists thudding]
Okay, I'll admit it. I was wrong about Halloween.
Halloween is a fabulous holiday.
It's fun for the kids and for adults.
Dressing up, begging for candy, bobbing for apples,
it's all a delight. I like the seasonal beer.
I like how you get to check out your neighbor's house
when they open the door for trick-or-treaters!
Halloween is not too spooky.
Halloween rules!
[First Witch cackling]
[Grand Brown Gravy roaring]
[♪ sinister music playing]
[explosion booms]
- [First Witch] Hop on! - Oh! [yelps]
You're too late! Halloween's dead.
From now on, pumpkins will only be eaten in pie!
[Grand Brown Gravy laughing]
- [explosion booming] - Oh, that hurts!
- But how? - Halloween is the best.
Heidi Klum's annual party. Couples' costumes.
Watching someone dressed as a penguin vomit on the street.
The house that gives out full-size candy bars.
"The Monster Mash"!
Nobody has to sit at a table and listen to a racist uncle
talk about how they don't like the Pakistanis
that bought the Boston Market down on I-5!
- [explosion booms] - [gravy splashing]
[explosions popping]
Whew, that was a close one.
I almost got my throat cut by some bitch-ass giblets.
[Korvo groans]
Thank you for saving Halloween, Korvo.
Your honest love for the holiday
proved that you truly deserve to be the Great Pumpkin.
- Yay, Korvo! - Woo-hoo!
- You did it! - Good job, Korvo!
Candy!
Actually, all that stuff I said back there, I didn't mean it.
It was all stuff Terry has said.
Halloween is still too spooky for me.
I'm honestly scared shitless of you right now.
But then Halloween won't have a Great Pumpkin.
No, it does.
You should be the spirit of Halloween.
[gasps]
[magic humming]
A witch as the Great Pumpkin? [laughs]
Did you know this has never happened before?
No, why would we?
Oh, Korvo.
If I could go back and tell that little girl
that I used to be before I ate that bat and became a witch
that this would happen one day, you know what she would say?
Uh, something that ends with, "My pretty"?
[laughs] Exactly, my pretty!
I still have time to spread Halloween chaos.
But first, I want to grant you a Halloween wish.
Ask for some Altoids Sours. They don't make 'em anymore.
[Korvo whispering]
- Granted. - [explosion booms]
[horn tooting] [Pupa laughing]
Would you quit it?
Ow, my foot!
We can't park them if you don't stop driving.
♪ Spooky, scary skeletons speak with such a screech ♪
This club rules now!
Hey, hey, good wish, Korvo.
- [lips smacking] - Happy Halloween, Terry.
Hell yes, it is, mister.
♪ But I don't think we should ♪
♪ 'Cause spooky, scary skeletons ♪
♪ Shout startling, shrilly screams ♪
♪ They'll sneak from their sarcophagus ♪
♪ And just won't let you be ♪
[♪ dramatic theme playing]
[wolf howling]
[sinister laughter]
[electronic warbling]
[♪ dramatic theme continues]
[bats squeak]
[owl hoots]
[mimicking laser fire]