1
00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:06,020
♪

2
00:00:07,110 --> 00:00:09,320
[laser crackling]

3
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,490
‐ Damn it.
Stupid thing, come on.

4
00:00:11,490 --> 00:00:15,830
‐ Ooh, build that Earth drill, Korvo.
Work those blue arms.

5
00:00:15,820 --> 00:00:17,570
‐ Stop undressing me
with your eyes, Debbie.

6
00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:19,080
I just want to work out here in peace.

7
00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:20,830
I'm not out here
for your sexual titillation.

8
00:00:20,830 --> 00:00:23,540
‐ Hey, the replicants missed the bus.
Can you take them to school?

9
00:00:23,540 --> 00:00:24,800
I got stuff to do.
‐ We didn't miss it.

10
00:00:24,790 --> 00:00:27,160
They purposely skipped our house.
‐ I'm sure it was an accident.

11
00:00:29,210 --> 00:00:31,580
one small tiny sample of her eye.

12
00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:33,550
‐ Can we please go?
Homeroom is where I decide

13
00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:35,390
who I'm going to crush on for the day.

14
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:39,470
‐ You should be helping me
construct the Earth drill.

15
00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:41,890
‐ I have to take the Pupa to the dog park.
We don't wanna miss the labradoodles.

16
00:00:41,890 --> 00:00:45,260
‐ Oh, oh, is the dog park more important
than mining nickel alloys

17
00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:46,480
so we can repair our spaceship?

18
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,110
‐ Uh, I don't know, Korvo.

19
00:00:48,110 --> 00:00:50,530
Can nickel alloy
catch a Frisbee in the air?

20
00:00:52,030 --> 00:00:54,160
You know, sometimes it feels like
I'm the only Shlorpion

21
00:00:54,150 --> 00:00:55,940
who wants to escape this garbage planet.

22
00:00:59,950 --> 00:01:01,950
without a single redeeming value, Terry.

23
00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:12,340
[screaming]

24
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,670
[alarm blaring]

25
00:01:20,470 --> 00:01:25,390
♪ ominous music playing ♪

26
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

27
00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:31,570
[yells]

28
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[yells]

29
00:01:35,650 --> 00:01:37,270
[barking]

30
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,700
‐ Oh, you guys, there was a shooting
at the dog park,

31
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,500
but you would never know 'cause
these dogs are just so happy, aren't they?

32
00:01:42,490 --> 00:01:45,240
Yeah, you like those little stumps?
You gonna lick 'em?

33
00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:48,420
KORVO:
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.

34
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Until the asteroid hit.

35
00:01:51,460 --> 00:01:53,830
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa

36
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,680
and escaped into, uh, the space,

37
00:01:55,670 --> 00:01:58,210
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.

38
00:01:58,930 --> 00:02:02,060
We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.

39
00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,770
That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.

40
00:02:03,770 --> 00:02:05,690
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.

41
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,970
This is‐‐ this is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?

42
00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:09,400
[stammers]
This is ridiculous.

43
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,280
I hate Earth.
It's a horrible home.

44
00:02:11,270 --> 00:02:12,730
And one of these days,
I'm gonna blow it up

45
00:02:12,730 --> 00:02:15,060
and just be done with the whole
stupid thing, I swear to God.

46
00:02:15,070 --> 00:02:17,240
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

47
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,370
♪

48
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,920
[Pupa coos]
‐ Oh, look at those cute little feet.

49
00:02:25,910 --> 00:02:27,450
They're really growing in.
Look at 'em go!

50
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,550
We're gonna go buy lottery tickets,
we're gonna win a million dollars,

51
00:02:31,540 --> 00:02:33,660
but then, we give it all
as a tip to a waitress

52
00:02:33,670 --> 00:02:35,260
and totally change her life.

53
00:02:35,260 --> 00:02:37,550
You go, girlfriend.
Buy yourself a new pair of shoes.

54
00:02:37,550 --> 00:02:40,850
‐ My plan is to sit in dim light,
spray nutrients on my stumps,

55
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,920
so‐‐ until they grow out,
and I'll study repair manuals.

56
00:02:46,770 --> 00:02:48,900
inhabited with sentient life
than you expected,

57
00:02:48,890 --> 00:02:50,060
but it can still be fun.

58
00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:51,930
You just got to roll,
roll with the homies.

59
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:57,450
I just‐‐ let me grow my feet in peace.
‐ Whatever, Korvo.

60
00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:02,160
♪

61
00:03:05,580 --> 00:03:06,710
[grunts]

62
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,160
‐ Huh.

63
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,960
‐ No, and as
a scientist/bounty hunter,

64
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,510
I am extremely perceptive.

65
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:17,460
[groans]
‐ E. T. sucks.

66
00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:18,460
Go back to Uranus.

67
00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:20,710
‐ We're actually
not even from this quadrant.

68
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:21,640
[grunts]

69
00:03:24,010 --> 00:03:27,130
who are probably
gonna zap us with their ray guns.

70
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,470
‐ Are you filthy fucking aliens
fighting in the hallway?

71
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,190
Principal Cooke's office, now.

72
00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:37,520
‐ Who, who is this, uh,
Funbucket character?

73
00:03:37,530 --> 00:03:38,910
‐ Why do you care?
‐ I was unaware

74
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,400
of a second
sentient species on this planet.

75
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,520
‐ Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.

76
00:03:42,530 --> 00:03:44,370
‐ Hm, I, I like that catchphrase.
[Pupa grunting]

77
00:03:44,370 --> 00:03:46,500
‐ Oh, yeah, he's got a bunch of 'em.
"Bingo bango"

78
00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:48,860
is the tip of the iceberg, my friend.
[Korvo laughs]

79
00:03:52,210 --> 00:03:53,920
‐ Oh, yeah.
One time he fed magic beans

80
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,710
to Mr. Shromer
and it turned him into a bush.

81
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It turned him into a bush!
[Pupa exclaiming]

82
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,300
‐ Oh, he must have hated that.

83
00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,010
Did he hate it?
‐ Oh, yeah, he was pissed.

84
00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:01,970
‐ Wow, Funbucket doesn't follow
any rules, does he?

85
00:04:06,390 --> 00:04:09,980
You know, simple math equations,
or who stole the principal's, uh, new pen.

86
00:04:09,970 --> 00:04:13,140
‐ This guy is fascinating.
I wish we lived near Funbucket.

87
00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:15,350
We could hang out and talk shit
about humans all day and night.

88
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,490
Do science.
You know, Funbucket's kind of a Korvo.

89
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:18,520
Don't you think, Terry?

90
00:04:18,530 --> 00:04:21,530
Bet he hates Earth and their stupid
monthly calendar as much as I do.

91
00:04:21,530 --> 00:04:23,530
ANNOUNCER [on TV]: Saturday, come on down
to the Gretchen‐Darth Mall

92
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,290
for the annual mega sale.

93
00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:28,700
Deals in every store, and a chance to win
one of St. Peter's finger bones!

94
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:32,410
With special appearances by Funbucket
and Rungo the Clown.

95
00:04:32,410 --> 00:04:35,490
‐ Oh, Rungo's legit. He has orange hair
and his house is a boot.

96
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:36,800
I think he lives in Michigan.
‐ Wait.

97
00:04:36,790 --> 00:04:38,410
Funbucket is gonna be at our mall?
[Pupa exclaims, grunts]

98
00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:39,550
We could meet him.

99
00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:41,010
‐ Oh, dude,
you could compare notes with him.

100
00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:42,680
He could help us with the mission.
Huh?

101
00:04:42,670 --> 00:04:43,670
You like that M‐word, don't you?

102
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,140
‐ We have to watch
all of these episodes, Terry.

103
00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:46,590
I need
to learn everything about Funbucket.

104
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,260
Does he have a penis?
Does he reproduce?

105
00:04:48,260 --> 00:04:50,260
‐ I don't‐‐ I don't know, man.
I mean, it hasn't come up.

106
00:04:50,270 --> 00:04:52,190
Yeah, I mean, I think
he probably does have a penis.

107
00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:54,220
It's probably huge.
‐ That's good, that's good, Terry.

108
00:04:54,230 --> 00:04:56,360
We have to know all this stuff
before we meet him at the mall.

109
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,280
‐ About what?
‐ Someone broke into the computer lab

110
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,780
and reprogrammed the iMacs
with artificial intelligence.

111
00:05:03,780 --> 00:05:06,330
iMAC: I used to be a cop.
My name is Richard Michaels.

112
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,820
‐ This thing's been trying to arrest
everyone that uses it.

113
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,670
Everyone has access to those computers.

114
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,960
‐ Wha, uh, uh, I've got both of mine.

115
00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:22,210
'cause I keep it in a glove.

116
00:05:22,630 --> 00:05:25,640
‐ From now on, I want nothing
but perfect behavior from you two.

117
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,560
or any of that Outer Limits bullshit.

118
00:05:36,810 --> 00:05:37,850
[door closes]

119
00:05:37,850 --> 00:05:40,270
‐ Oh, you should have their asses
on the street already.

120
00:05:40,270 --> 00:05:42,060
You need to sack up, Cooke.

121
00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:44,570
‐ We'll get them soon enough,
Ms. Frankie.

122
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:49,540
And then you'll see how powerful I am.

123
00:05:49,530 --> 00:05:50,490
‐ Come here.

124
00:05:50,490 --> 00:05:51,950
[grunting]

125
00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:54,820
‐ I wish they would just treat us
like regular kids.

126
00:05:54,830 --> 00:05:57,630
‐ [scoffs]
Yeah, regular kids with a shrink ray.

127
00:05:57,620 --> 00:06:01,580
‐ I'm gonna kick your ass.
Let me out of here!

128
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:04,640
‐ I cannot believe we are actually
going to meet Funbucket.

129
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,540
[stammers]
Do my robes look okay, Terry?

130
00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:08,760
‐ Oh, man, I'm gonna ask him
if he can breathe underwater.

131
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,100
I‐I‐I bet he can.
Honestly, I just‐‐ maybe I shouldn't.

132
00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:12,520
No, I'm gonna ask him just to make sure.

133
00:06:12,510 --> 00:06:13,760
‐ Terry, I believe he's gonna be overjoyed

134
00:06:13,770 --> 00:06:15,650
to learn there are other
non‐humans on this planet.

135
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,300
He will no longer
feel frustrated and alone.

136
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,820
‐ I'm gonna invite him over for Nintendo.
You think he's a Nintendo guy?

137
00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:22,180
Oh, what if he's a Sega man?
‐ Do you think he has a mission, too?

138
00:06:22,190 --> 00:06:23,490
Oh, oh, I bet he does.

139
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,150
Do you think his fur is coarse and hard
or soft and silky?

140
00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:28,160
Hm, odd.
‐ What, what?

141
00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:31,280
‐ Funbucket is larger
than he appears on TV.

142
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:34,740
‐ Yeah, he is.
Hold on, is his skin made of cloth?

143
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,170
Ew!
‐ What the fuck is going on?

144
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,700
‐ There's a line.
You need to get back in line, sir‐‐ ah!

145
00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:41,630
‐ It's just some kid.
What did you do with Funbucket?

146
00:06:41,630 --> 00:06:45,430
‐ I demand to see Funbucket.
‐ Funbucket isn't real, you idiots.

147
00:06:47,470 --> 00:06:49,510
‐ It's a kids' show.
‐ A kids' show?

148
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,600
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

149
00:06:51,590 --> 00:06:53,420
♪

150
00:06:53,430 --> 00:06:54,690
‐ Get out of here, go!

151
00:06:55,350 --> 00:06:57,440
‐ Funbucket isn't real?

152
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:01,100
‐ TV lied to us. It lied.
‐ That's impossible.

153
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:03,350
All of human history
is recorded on the TV.

154
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,990
I don't even know what's real anymore.
Are submarines real?

155
00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:08,980
Are penguins real?
‐ I don't know, probably not.

156
00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:11,580
Wait, the quantum injector.
‐ Is Friends real?

157
00:07:11,570 --> 00:07:13,070
Is Frasier real?

158
00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:16,150
If Frasier isn't real,
I'm going to kill myself!

159
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,750
How can you even think of work right now?
‐ The quantum injector.

160
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,840
Primarily used for
repairing organic emitters

161
00:07:20,830 --> 00:07:23,950
in the matter transfer array,
but with a few small adjustments‐‐

162
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,380
‐ We can make Funbucket real.
‐ We need Funbucket.

163
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,890
He could help us with the mission, Terry.
He's a man of science.

164
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,630
You saw the lab he had with that child
in the kid's basement.

165
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,680
You saw the shit he was doing
in that one episode.

166
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,980
We need him to be as real as possible.

167
00:07:36,970 --> 00:07:41,890
Every single little tiny smidgen
of adjustments will matter.

168
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:43,980
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

169
00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:45,860
[rumbling, hissing]

170
00:07:45,860 --> 00:07:46,900
[beeps]

171
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,280
‐ Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.

172
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,660
‐ Funbucket, I'm Korvo
and this is Terry,

173
00:07:51,650 --> 00:07:53,400
and we are your new best friends.

174
00:07:54,530 --> 00:07:56,200
‐ You guys aren't gonna
try to fuck me, are you?

175
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,160
BOTH:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

176
00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:01,920
♪ smooth music playing ♪

177
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,920
♪

178
00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:06,470
‐ Bingo bango!

179
00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:07,870
[screaming]

180
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:09,890
[shutter snaps]

181
00:08:10,470 --> 00:08:11,800
[monstrous roaring]
[all scream]

182
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:12,850
[Pupa giggles]

183
00:08:21,770 --> 00:08:24,320
‐ You are such a shopaholic, Funbucket.

184
00:08:24,310 --> 00:08:26,600
‐ Retail therapy, baby.

185
00:08:26,610 --> 00:08:29,570
‐ Hey, that's not your catchphrase.
Say bingo bango.

186
00:08:33,070 --> 00:08:35,320
‐ Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Check out who's real.

187
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,400
‐ Just let me past, will you?
Stop it.

188
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:46,170
‐ I'm sorry I thought you weren't real.
‐ Yeah, it's... okay.

189
00:08:47,710 --> 00:08:49,800
‐ Ooh, let's go to the makeup counter
at Bloomie's.

190
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,590
We can get you all done up
for the club tonight.

191
00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:54,890
‐ Funbucket, this is not
gonna be a discussion.

192
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,170
We want you to be dolled up
and spruced up

193
00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:59,270
so that the people are like,
oh, damn.

194
00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:01,390
Who are these cool guys
at the club with a Funbucket?

195
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,940
‐ Look, make me big right now.

196
00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:07,530
I'm gonna beat you up really bad
but I promise I won't kill you.

197
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,520
‐ Just do the maze.
You're screwing up my metrics.

198
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,310
‐ This is stupid.
Are you sure we aren't gonna

199
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,280
get like, super duper
crazy trouble for this?

200
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,910
‐ Humans test lower species all the time.
[Lidia panting]

201
00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:21,080
‐ And lose this data?
Do you even want to study humans?

202
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:24,330
‐ No! I want to eat lunch
with friends and see movies with boys.

203
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:25,960
‐ Done!
‐ I forgot to time you.

204
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,510
Do it again.
‐ Man, this is fuckin' stupid.

205
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,960
You used to be so scientific.
Now you're just a jerk.

206
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,710
‐ Continued experimentation could reveal
why everyone is mean to us.

207
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,600
‐ I just want to chill at the mall.

208
00:09:37,590 --> 00:09:38,920
‐ Oh, shit, she's going to tattle.

209
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:44,560
It's Trim City!

210
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,820
TERRY: Ooh, they have
Channing Tatum's vodka.

211
00:09:48,770 --> 00:09:50,640
Oh, dude, dude, dude,
we should take Funbucket

212
00:09:50,650 --> 00:09:52,240
on a road trip and go to New York City

213
00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:54,480
and listen to podcasts
and Gaffigan albums the whole way.

214
00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:55,660
He's America's dad!

215
00:09:55,650 --> 00:09:58,030
‐ Oh, that would be quite
the enjoyable experience.

216
00:09:58,030 --> 00:10:00,940
Perhaps we could all stop at some
fun roadside attractions along the way.

217
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:02,790
‐ Yes!
Hey, Korv.

218
00:10:02,790 --> 00:10:04,420
You think you're starting to
warm up to Earth a little?

219
00:10:04,410 --> 00:10:06,330
‐ I must admit, with Funbucket around,

220
00:10:06,330 --> 00:10:09,080
repairing the ship has lost
a little bit of urgency.

221
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,080
Funbucket, we got your drink.

222
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:17,460
‐ We should circumnavigate the crowd.

223
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:22,850
‐ What up, my dudes?
Hey, I'm Terry, this is Korvo.

224
00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:24,560
We're aliens.
‐ Make room at the table

225
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,190
so we may join you.
‐ You know these dipshits, fam?

226
00:10:27,190 --> 00:10:29,440
‐ No.
‐ Oh, he's just kidding around.

227
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,530
Hey, we got you a drink, Funbucket.
‐ Take a hint, bro.

228
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,310
Funbucket's with us now.
‐ I‐‐ wait, wait, I don't understand.

229
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,240
With? What do you mean?

230
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,410
‐ He means
go fuck yourself, bro.

231
00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:41,030
Okay, he belongs to us.

232
00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:44,450
‐ Uh, I don't belong to anyone.
I'm real.

233
00:10:44,450 --> 00:10:46,490
‐ Oh, but‐but surfing, Thailand.

234
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,790
‐ Travis and Avery are my friends now.

235
00:10:48,790 --> 00:10:51,210
They don't treat me
like some dumb TV sidekick.

236
00:10:51,210 --> 00:10:53,340
‐ Plus, we don't wear stupid wizard robes.

237
00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:54,800
‐ This is ceremonial garb.

238
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,840
‐ That's it.
Get 'em the fuck out of here.

239
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:57,800
[glass shatters]

240
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,760
[laughter]

241
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,010
‐ Later, dickholes.

242
00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:04,020
‐ What the hell, Korvo?
What the hell?

243
00:11:04,010 --> 00:11:05,550
‐ Who the hell were those guys?
‐ Look at me.

244
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,310
I'm gooblering.
I'm making gooblers.

245
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,010
‐ Oh, my God, I haven't goobled

246
00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:12,900
since they made us
shower together at the academy.

247
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:16,030
‐ According to the Urban Dictionary,
we've been "squinched."

248
00:11:16,030 --> 00:11:17,870
It means we've been cut loose.
‐ Oh, man.

249
00:11:17,860 --> 00:11:19,270
Why do I feel like this?
It hurts.

250
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,370
‐ Our bodies are not designed
for this emotional overload.

251
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,320
There is a chance that
we will overheat and die.

252
00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:28,000
I haven't touched a dolphin
or been on The Price Is Right.

253
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,170
I'm supposed to fall in love
on a train in India

254
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:31,740
and maybe the woman's
a little bit older than me.

255
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:38,220
They're just hanging out.
‐ That can't be right.

256
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:39,290
I mean, we do that, too.

257
00:11:41,470 --> 00:11:42,470
‐ Oh, fuck!

258
00:11:43,890 --> 00:11:46,100
‐ What the hell?
Are you stalking me?

259
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:48,310
‐ Oh, my God.
Look at what they're wearing.

260
00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:51,060
‐ Oh, shit, they tried
to copy our outfits.

261
00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:52,690
How pathetic is that?
[Avery laughs]

262
00:11:52,690 --> 00:11:55,070
‐ We wear things like this all the time.
‐ Bro, get a clue.

263
00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:58,100
Funbucket's done with you.
‐ Will you stop crying, you babies?

264
00:11:58,110 --> 00:11:59,570
‐ You're a baby, idiot!

265
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,660
‐ Fuck you, Funbucket!

266
00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:04,940
[Lidia grunting]

267
00:12:04,950 --> 00:12:06,870
PUPA: Ooh!
[groaning]

268
00:12:07,290 --> 00:12:09,080
‐ Bad Pupa.
Drop it, drop it.

269
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,380
‐ Seriously, it smells
really bad in there.

270
00:12:11,370 --> 00:12:14,290
I think it ate, like,
an old crabapple or something.

271
00:12:14,290 --> 00:12:17,160
‐ Why can't things just be the way
they used to be?

272
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:20,890
TV was real and Funbucket
liked us and wasn't a dick.

273
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:24,590
‐ Funbucket was too real.
Funbucket 2 is gonna be better.

274
00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:26,090
‐ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.

275
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:29,020
Make him love us, Korvo.
Give him all the bells and whistles.

276
00:12:29,020 --> 00:12:31,020
Make it so he never leaves us.
[beeping, whirring]

277
00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:37,310
‐ Who wants to go camping?!

278
00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:40,310
‐ No, we're going to the club.
‐ Put your sin in me.

279
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,280
[retches]
‐ His catchphrases need work.

280
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,240
‐ They're fine.

281
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,990
‐ Y'all ready for bisque?
Good night, everybody.

282
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:52,040
‐ Ha ha ha, oh, Funbucket 2,
you sure are an amazing dancer.

283
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:54,290
‐ I've come here to do two things.

284
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:55,960
[grunts]
Oh.

285
00:12:57,290 --> 00:12:58,910
Y'all ready for bisque?
‐ Hello.

286
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,510
Nobody cares about your janky
knock‐off Funbucket.

287
00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:04,430
‐ You are just jealous.
Our revised Funbucket is vastly superior.

288
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,520
What's happening?
Oh, God.

289
00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:14,430
Unseen forces pulling us together.
‐ Whoa, whoa, hey, stop that.

290
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:15,770
Get away from our Funbucket.

291
00:13:15,770 --> 00:13:17,690
‐ The quantum injector. Oh.
‐ Help! Help!

292
00:13:17,690 --> 00:13:21,110
KORVO: Maybe the‐‐ I think their flesh
matrixes are attempting to reconcile.

293
00:13:22,110 --> 00:13:23,620
‐ Y'all ready for bisque?

294
00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:26,080
[roars]

295
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:30,830
‐ No, no, no!

296
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,460
[roars]

297
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,250
‐ Hey, uh, you guys do to‐go cups?

298
00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:48,560
Great, could I get uh, just a couple
to‐go cups for the road? Thanks.

299
00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:51,590
[roars]

300
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,690
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

301
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,890
♪

302
00:13:55,890 --> 00:13:58,020
‐ You don't think people are gonna
get mad at us for this, right?

303
00:13:58,020 --> 00:14:00,480
‐ Terry, relax.
That could be anyone's mutant.

304
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:04,900
‐ Terry!
[groans] Korvo!

305
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,280
‐ We should do something.

306
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,240
‐ Why do you need so many dolls?
‐ Why do you need so many ray guns?

307
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,710
‐ Because we're aliens.
‐ It just seems excessive.

308
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:13,780
‐ Lidia Johnson was last seen Monday.

309
00:14:13,790 --> 00:14:15,670
Her parents are pleading
for any information

310
00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:17,410
that leads to her safe return.

311
00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:19,420
[chuckles]
Good luck with that.

312
00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:22,220
‐ Lidia, it's Randy.
Stop fucking around and come home.

313
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,540
God damn it, this is hard on me.
I didn't think I'd miss you this much.

314
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:28,810
LIDIA:
Wow, my stepdad actually does care.

315
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,800
‐ Do we get a reward too,
or how does that work?

316
00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:35,510
‐ Dang, girl, you gooblering.
‐ Uh, oh, no.

317
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,560
Yeah, 'cause the police are after us.

318
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,270
‐ Yeah, well, what is it with humans
and their kids?

319
00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:41,440
I thought they liked making them.
‐ What are we gonna do?

320
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,700
‐ This is a classic
"killed a hooker in Vegas" situation.

321
00:14:44,690 --> 00:14:46,770
Stalling is only gonna make it worse.

322
00:14:46,780 --> 00:14:49,660
Let me go and I'll tell them
to put you in a good prison.

323
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,280
‐ We could dissolve her.
‐ I'll get the acid.

324
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,670
‐ This is wrong.
‐ She's right.

325
00:14:55,660 --> 00:14:58,080
You should hit the side like ketchup.
‐ You can't just kill me.

326
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:02,290
‐ Don't worry, we'll plant your pieces
and you'll grow into a beautiful new girl.

327
00:15:02,290 --> 00:15:05,170
‐ It doesn't work like that!
Can you just wipe my brain?

328
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:06,710
‐ What's a brain?

329
00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:08,790
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

330
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,930
♪

331
00:15:11,930 --> 00:15:15,100
‐ Wait, we can't park here.
There's street cleaning tomorrow.

332
00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:21,480
‐ Have you guys seen the shrink ray?

333
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,570
It's usually in the cupboard
with the ice cream maker we never use.

334
00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:25,900
‐ Hey, I use it to freeze and eat yogurt.
[Korvo scoffs]

335
00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:29,530
‐ This is so embarrassing.
‐ Why are you dissecting your classmate?

336
00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:31,660
‐ Despite having been examined
by countless scientists

337
00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:34,160
over hundreds of years,
the human brain is still a mystery.

338
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,040
‐ Plus, she was mean to us at school.

339
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,580
‐ Everyone is mean to them.
I didn't invent it.

340
00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:40,840
‐ School sucks, okay?
We don't like it.

341
00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:42,910
‐ It doesn't matter if you like it.
We're on a mission.

342
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:45,670
When things don't go your way,
you can't just give in to emotion

343
00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:49,340
and do whatever you want
like make a new Funbucket.

344
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,930
‐ What?
‐ Uh, you can't shrink people.

345
00:15:52,930 --> 00:15:55,770
‐ We weren't gonna kill her.
We were just reprogramming her a little.

346
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,050
‐ Are we in trouble?

347
00:15:57,060 --> 00:16:00,310
‐ We will discuss your grounding later.
Sew her up and let her go.

348
00:16:00,310 --> 00:16:05,150
‐ Your grounding is going to be prison
for the rest of your lives.

349
00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:08,200
And let me tell you,
being a weird alien in jail

350
00:16:08,190 --> 00:16:10,310
is not going to be pretty.

351
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,660
[groans]

352
00:16:14,660 --> 00:16:17,500
‐ Just keep doing that until she's cool.
‐ Someone's going to prison.

353
00:16:17,490 --> 00:16:18,530
[groans]

354
00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:20,880
Someone's‐‐ I'm a sunflower.

355
00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:23,410
‐ Wow, it really is making her dumber.

356
00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:25,590
I can't believe humans drink this stuff.

357
00:16:25,590 --> 00:16:28,720
‐ This would be going a lot faster
if we had some Mountain Dew.

358
00:16:28,710 --> 00:16:30,790
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

359
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,810
♪

360
00:16:35,510 --> 00:16:38,590
‐ Uh, will you drive straight?
‐ The effort is already being made, Terry.

361
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,530
[tiny horn honks]

362
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,830
[weak growling]

363
00:16:56,820 --> 00:16:59,150
‐ I guess we should, uh,
put it out of its misery.

364
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,040
‐ [groans]
No, I should.

365
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,380
You know, Terry, I've learned
an important lesson today.

366
00:17:03,710 --> 00:17:06,550
You can't project your own wants
and desires on other creatures‐‐

367
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:08,290
Oh, crap, catch it, catch it, catch it.
‐ Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh crap.

368
00:17:09,670 --> 00:17:11,540
KORVO:
This isn't your fault, Combo Funbucket.

369
00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:13,260
We shouldn't have been guided by emotions.

370
00:17:13,550 --> 00:17:16,430
It's gonna be okay.
We're gonna have one last great adventure

371
00:17:16,430 --> 00:17:18,520
before you go live at the mall.
‐ The mall?

372
00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:19,550
What? I thought we were gonna kill him.

373
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:20,890
I thought we were gonna
throw him off the edge.

374
00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:23,520
‐ God damn it, Terry.
See it, the mall?

375
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,770
All the way down there?

376
00:17:24,770 --> 00:17:26,400
This was the most humane way
I could think of

377
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,490
to end our time together, little friend.
[weak screech]

378
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,480
It will all be over in...

379
00:17:30,190 --> 00:17:33,020
between 35 and 58 seconds,
depending on wind.

380
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:36,410
TRAVIS: Stop.
‐ Leave us alone, Travis and Avery.

381
00:17:36,410 --> 00:17:38,040
You've done enough.
‐ Don't kill him.

382
00:17:38,030 --> 00:17:39,780
We love him.
‐ But he's a monster.

383
00:17:39,780 --> 00:17:43,030
‐ Bro, we don't care what he looks like
or if he's violent

384
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,130
or if he's been combined
with another Funbucket

385
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,700
on a molecular level, bro.

386
00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:48,630
TRAVIS:
He's still Funbucket.

387
00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:51,510
Just, just do it.
We'll catch you, broheim.

388
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,920
[screeches]

389
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,000
♪ swelling orchestral music plays ♪

390
00:17:55,010 --> 00:17:58,020
♪

391
00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:02,800
‐ Korvo.
[growls] Terry.

392
00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:05,150
‐ Shh, shh, shh.
It's okay, buddy. It's okay.

393
00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:11,280
‐ Do you feel like maybe
we're the bad people in all this?

394
00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:13,440
‐ We're aliens.
Our ways are mysterious.

395
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,610
We can't be judged by human standards.

396
00:18:15,610 --> 00:18:18,070
Now let's get out of here before
we get arrested for all this shit.

397
00:18:18,070 --> 00:18:19,690
[explosions]
‐ Is that the children's hospital?

398
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,370
Man, you don't really think of them
blowing up like that.

399
00:18:21,370 --> 00:18:23,620
I mean, what, are they storing
giant tanks of flammable liquid?

400
00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:26,500
In a children's hospital?
No wonder all these kids are getting sick.

401
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,840
‐ By the way, when we get home,
you're throwing out that ice cream maker.

402
00:18:28,830 --> 00:18:30,540
You do not use it for yogurt.
‐ Oh, my God.

403
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:32,660
Have you been sitting on that for an hour?
I do too use it.

404
00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:33,800
‐ That is the opposite of true.

405
00:18:34,630 --> 00:18:36,210
MS. FRANKIE: Hey.
‐ Oh, my God, what?

406
00:18:36,220 --> 00:18:37,890
I told you, I didn't touch the computers.

407
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,590
‐ I'm watching you,
you creepy little fucking aliens.

408
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,390
You think just because
you didn't do anything bad today

409
00:18:42,390 --> 00:18:45,150
you're gonna get away with it?
Oh, you are on fucking blast.

410
00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:47,140
I've got my eyes on you.

411
00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:49,520
‐ We didn't do anything.
Why are you always mad at us? I‐‐

412
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,520
[Lidia vocalizes]

413
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,850
‐ I used to be small,
but now, I am big.

414
00:18:54,860 --> 00:18:56,200
I'm peeing my pants.

415
00:18:56,190 --> 00:18:57,730
‐ [laughs]
So funny.

416
00:18:57,740 --> 00:18:59,950
You're the best, Lidia.
[Lidia laughs]

417
00:18:59,950 --> 00:19:03,580
‐ Every time I think I know the slang
you kids use, you switch it up.

418
00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:05,000
‐ Wow, humans are dumb.

419
00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:06,570
I guess we're never
gonna get busted on anything.

420
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,710
‐ What does that mean?
Busted? Busted on what?

421
00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:09,920
‐ Uh, I‐I mean...

422
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,670
‐ Did you guys shrink this girl down
and then lobotomize her

423
00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:13,970
to cover your tracks?

424
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,040
‐ Uh...
‐ [sniffs]

425
00:19:15,050 --> 00:19:18,390
Did you dump Diet Coke
in her exposed brain?

426
00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:21,340
That's horrible.
Something has to be done about you two.

427
00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:23,130
You can't just go about
your regular lives

428
00:19:23,140 --> 00:19:24,640
without some sort of punishment.

429
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,100
Things cannot go on
as if nothing happened.

430
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,470
‐ You know what, Terry? I think
those bros really did love Funbucket

431
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,240
in a much more deeper
and sensual way than we ever could.

432
00:19:34,230 --> 00:19:36,020
‐ You know, we should invite
them over for a game night.

433
00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:38,950
‐ Ooh, extra crispy, my favorite.
‐ Wait, KFC?

434
00:19:38,950 --> 00:19:41,870
Are we not in trouble?
‐ We may be trapped on this world

435
00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:45,000
that's on the brink of mass extinction
plagued by a species

436
00:19:44,990 --> 00:19:47,410
that destroys the environment,
but while we're here,

437
00:19:47,410 --> 00:19:51,790
breathing in the disgusting poison air,
at least we have each other.

438
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:54,080
I could not replace you
with a million Funbuckets.

439
00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:56,340
‐ What's a Funbucket?
‐ From now on, we're gonna be best friends

440
00:19:56,340 --> 00:19:58,010
and we can watch
all the Harry Potter movies back to back.

441
00:19:58,010 --> 00:20:00,680
‐ That's not what I meant.
Look, from now on, we focus on the mission

442
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,930
but we also be a family and all that
kind of shit and do that stuff.

443
00:20:03,930 --> 00:20:06,180
‐ And we can wear matching costumes
and compete in fashion shows‐‐

444
00:20:06,180 --> 00:20:08,270
‐ No, no, I'm covering my ears.
‐ Just two friends
holding hands down the street.

445
00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:10,230
Everyone's like, are, are they lovers?
No, we're friends.

446
00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:12,270
‐ What is the mission, anyway?

447
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:14,990
It gets brought up all the time
and Korvo's always pissed,

448
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,890
but nobody's real clear about it.

449
00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:19,820
‐ When the Pupa reaches maturity,
it'll evolve into its true form.

450
00:20:19,820 --> 00:20:22,660
One that'll destroy and rebuild the planet
in the image of the home world

451
00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:25,200
using data stored in its DNA.
That kind of stuff.

452
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,870
‐ Wow, seems like a pretty important job
to put Pupa‐‐

453
00:20:27,870 --> 00:20:29,040
[both groan]

454
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:30,920
‐ Gross.
‐ That's sick, Pupa.

455
00:20:30,910 --> 00:20:33,040
Don't eat the gooblers.
Bad Pupa.

456
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,660
[crunching]

457
00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:37,130
Wow, I can't believe we didn't
get in trouble today.

458
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:39,640
Korvo was pissed.
‐ We never should have kidnapped a kid.

459
00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:41,340
Honestly, I don't know
what I was thinking.

460
00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:46,390
From now on, we only shrink adults.
No one cares when some jerk goes missing.

461
00:20:46,390 --> 00:20:49,900
‐ Good night, Mr. Janitor.
I made you an outfit out of Kleenex.

462
00:20:49,890 --> 00:20:52,100
If it doesn't fit,
just rip it a little bit.

463
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,570
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

464
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,560
♪

465
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,480
♪

466
00:21:44,150 --> 00:21:45,610
[imitating laser fire]