♪ tense music playing ♪
♪
[wind howling]
JIMMY: Holy tits, it's cold.
These hamster hair robes aren't doing shit.
Can eyeballs freeze?
I feel like I could pop mine out
and use 'em in a $12 cocktail.
Keep it down, those Bowinian guards are everywhere.
Ugh, I'm so sick of all the sneaking around.
We've been here what, a month already?
Yeah, and we still don't know who the mole is.
On the bright side, I guess that means it's possible
they could be one of the Hemsworths.
Really? Oh, I hope it's Liam!
What, are you fucking crazy?
Shh, the mole's in the upper ranks of the Church.
We would have heard if it was a Hemsworth.
I don't know, I get a tingle in my lady business
when an Australian with good teeth and tight pecs is nearby.
Well, that's probably vaginal bronchitis
from all the snow we keep lurking in.
When are we gonna admit this is a bust?
We walk past this mailbox every night,
putting ourselves at risk of getting captured by Sisto.
For nothing!
I think the mole's dead.
We just have to be patient, and trust that--
[gasps] LYNETTE: Wait, is that?
The mole was here!
Got it!
GUARD: By the bow's light, who's there?
It's after curfew, state your business.
Uh, yeah, my friend needed to warm up her thighs
with a brisk walk.
She has vaginal bronchitis.
I did hear that's, uh, been going around.
Then why is he here?
Uh, because, I worship Jesse's, um, the Force,
and I have the pussy cough too?
[coughs]
Did you just cough with your mouth?
Run!
[snowball thuds] [guard groans]
Get them!
Fuck, the package!
On it!
[snowball thuds] [guard groans]
[stammering] Let them g-go.
But, Montez, sir, they were out after curfew and--
Did I stutter?
Uh, yeah, weirdly you did.
That's because it's c-cold as balls out here.
You will not question my authority again.
Yes, sir, under her bow.
Under her bow.
Good luck, Cherie, you're gonna need it-t-t.
God, why is it worse on the c-c-consonants?
♪ foreboding music playing ♪
♪
PRISONER: Ow, please stop, please!
I swear to you, I had no unJesse thoughts!
[whip cracks] [prisoner groans]
I don't even have that many thoughts in general.
[whip cracks] [prisoner groans]
What's going on here? I didn't order this man tortured.
Make sure you get the other side after this one's flogged out.
What? Nobody flogs the front, that's just cruel!
[whip cracking] [prisoner groaning]
Did you catch that man speaking out against the bow?
You know how no one really knows what a bay leaf tastes like,
but every recipe calls for it,
so you throw it in 'cause it doesn't hurt.
I was more of an Uncrustables guy.
I don't know for sure if that heathen was thinking unJesse thoughts,
but a flogging ensures he never will.
Well, there had to be some evidence that he strayed?
Not a lick, just a feeling I had.
I am, after all, the only person Jesse speaks to.
So my instincts are really her instincts.
And her instincts tell me there are spies amongst us, Montez.
Even if that's true,
isn't randomly torturing your followers
going a little overboard?
Overboard?
Look at what happened to The Duke, to Tim, to Sister Sasha!
Surrounded by threats that they ignored, and all murdered!
Technically, Tim died of lead poisoning from a promotional glass.
They ignored warning signs and paid for it with their lives.
If Jesse suspects something's off,
I will act on her behalf to protect this church.
Unless, you have a problem with that?
Of course not, Sister.
PRISONER: Come on, guys, don't flog my nipples!
[whip cracks] [prisoner screams]
♪ suspenseful music playing ♪
[knocking]
- MAN: Password? - Onion volcano.
See, told you she would make it.
Yeah, I got lucky.
That was too close.
Bad news first, our mole's package got torn in the chase.
But the intel they passed along was amazing.
Check this out.
Ooh, this is from a Dove silky smooth,
the ones with the inspirational quotes on the wrapper.
"It's definitely a bub--"
Ugh, the rest is cut off.
They're like horoscopes for diabetics.
"9:30 A.M. tomorrow, Sister Sisto touring Don Head."
What's a Don Head?
I found this when I was digging through the palace trash.
CHERIE: "TMNT Micro Machines Splinter's Last Shred of Dignity
Playset Instruction Manual"?
Jesse and Yumyulack whined and begged for this thing for a month.
Korvo refused to negotiate, but Terry caved, it was a whole thing.
Yeah, and then they got sick of it after two days.
They must have hid it in here
so Terry and Korvo wouldn't see it collecting dust.
And of course, Sister Sisto declared it a divine gift to the Church.
She's planning a big, self-congratulatory opening ceremony.
The walk-through's tomorrow.
The perfect time and place to assassinate that bitch.
No way. We're here to rescue Pezlie.
Sisto never leaves the palace without her.
She could get caught in the crossfire.
The mole knows why we're here.
They wouldn't have given us this information
if it would put Pezlie in danger.
Let's say we rescue Pezlie and don't kill Sisto,
she'll never stop coming after us.
[sighs]
Pez would live the rest of her life
looking over her shoulder.
Yeah, the mole wouldn't put Pezlie in danger.
Okay, but if we're going to do this, we need a plan.
Don't worry, we'll plot this out moment by moment
so it's poolfroof.
Fuck!
I just wish we knew the rest of this Dove inspirational quote.
"It's definitely a bub"?
Bub what, like Wolverine's stupid catchphrase?
Logan's a man haunted by his past
and it's hard for him to let people in!
Jesus, I was kidding.
Sorry, I failed out of Weapon X when I was a kid,
so I can get emotional about that stuff.
I want to know what "bub" means too.
Just one more question for when we finally meet the mole.
"And ye who dare eat the protein of green M&Ms
shall burn in the everlasting fires of Yumyu-hell."
That's what Jesse is calling hell now. Sister Blista, did we take that down?
She whispered it to me this morning during my wax.
What a blessing it must be to hear from the great Jesse directly.
It's an honor, and an even bigger honor
for you to be in my presence.
Praise Bow, Sister.
Praise Bow.
Hmm, I, I fear I've written down one of your teachings incorrectly.
Jesse said all who eat green M&Ms will burn in hell,
but last week, she said all Bowinians must eat green M&Ms
as part of a spiritually balanced diet.
The only mistake is trying to predict Jesse's will.
The Bowble teaches us not to try
and find logic in her divine choices.
Oh, of course, Sister Sisto.
I, I'm sorry, I knew the fault was mine.
More questions like those and I'll have to seriously consider
if you're the right Bowinian to take down my dictations.
Oh, please, please don't replace me, Sister!
The Church is my life.
Jesse saved me from the deepest sadness I've ever known.
Next time, if there is a next time,
think before you open your mouth.
Under her bow.
You wanted to see me?
Yes, do you have the holy bubbles for Jessius?
Of course, Sister.
[water splashing] [Jesse squealing]
We need to discuss Sister Blista. She questioned me today.
It must have been harmless.
She's one of the most devout Bowinians
in the whole congregation.
That's exactly what she'd like us to think, isn't it?
Uh--
We need to put Sister Blista on our-- Eyes on me, Montez.
Ehh, sorry.
She needs to go on our list of possible moles.
But if she's on that list, I might--
Be forced to mount her severed head on the Wall?
Yes, is that a problem?
Of course not, anything for Jesse.
Good.
Do you want a towel?
No, Jesse's righteousness doth toast thy titties
whilth her divine light dry-eth thy bush.
Yeah, for sure, but it's pretty cold in here and--
Just give me the fucking towel!
♪ uplifting music playing ♪
Under her bow, Sister.
Under her bow, Mr. Montez.
You wouldn't believe how much I need a hot cranberry,
I've had a day.
Nothing Jesse's light can't brighten.
That's the problem,
I misunderstood one of Jesse's teachings today,
and Sister Sisto was disappointed in me.
I wanted so badly to understand,
but, ugh, I should have kept my mouth shut.
It's not you.
Sister Sisto is troubled
by the teachings of Jesse right now.
For the moment, you should consider staying away from her.
Ha. I can't!
Sisto needs me.
I'm helping her organize the opening ceremony
of the Donatello Head.
I think you need to remember to look out for yourself, too.
But I'm devoted to the Church,
and Sister Sisto is the Church.
Ha, I know.
It's just, please, be careful.
That's all.
Montez, I don't need to be careful,
I am a Bowinian sister.
Jesse's light will always and forever shine on me!
[slurps]
I know we've been at this for hours,
but this is our last chance to make sure
that there isn't anything wrong with the plan.
Let's walk through it one more time.
First, we make our way to the secret tunnel
that was used by the Gumboys Gang back in the first days of the Wall.
There's a trap door no one knows about at the end of the tunnel.
We pop the hatch and crawl through to the other side.
[all groaning]
Shit, it's jammed with Ice Breaker Peppermint Gum crystals!
It'll be a piece of cake to open.
Fuckin' Gumboys and their stupid gum!
[grunting]
Ah, shit, those crystals fucked me up!
LYNETTE: I bet it's like Candyland down there.
This is gonna be fun.
[Jimmy screaming]
Lyn, suck-soften that gum while I wrap him up.
We're already behind!
JIMMY: Remember now, don't have too much fun down there.
We're on a mission.
CHERIE: By this point, we'll already be through the hatch
and under the Donatello Head.
We'll have plenty of time to quietly knock out all the guards.
[all scream]
My mouth is fucking shredded.
Hurry, we're behind!
The guards won't be there yet,
so we can take our time making our chlorinated gas.
JIMMY: The combination of Wow Dip and hot piss creates the gas.
[unzips] Just a whiff will knock out anyone.
Stop looking at me!
CHERIE: The guards will pass out,
and we'll head up the staircase, easy-peasy.
[Cherie grunts] [guard screams]
[Lynette and Cherie grunting] [blows thudding]
[zips up]
LYNETTE: The staircase leads us directly to the back
of the Donatello Head, right? CHERIE: Yup!
JIMMY: What about the giant bat that lives down there?
LYNETTE: That's just a stupid rumor people made up to sound cool, Jimmy.
JIMMY: But what if it's real?
CHERIE: There's no bat down there.
Jesus, don't be a pussy.
[bat screeching]
JIMMY: Okay, fine, but can we pack
a little bat poison just in case?
We have a ton of it lying around, and it hardly weighs anything.
LYNETTE: It's a waste of space,
and it's embarrassing you wanna bring something so useless.
JIMMY: Fine. [bat screeches]
[Jimmy gasps]
CHERIE: Plus, it will be daytime,
so even if there was a bat, it would be asleep.
LYNETTE: Yeah, we'll be fine, bats aren't diurnal.
Especially not bats that don't exist.
So stupid. [laughs] JIMMY: What's diurnal?
CHERIE: It means active during the day.
JIMMY: Alright, well, you two clearly know more than me about bats.
I guess I won't bring any of this bat poison with us,
even though it's really not a big deal at all.
LYNETTE: Good, now can we please stop talking about this?
Since it'll never, ever come up?
[punch thuds]
I fuckin' knew there was a bat!
Shut up, hurry!
Oh, great, now I pee?
Ugh, where was that when I needed it?
CHERIE: So after we don't see a bat,
the Donatello Head will be right there.
We'll make our way over to the hinge and loosen it just enough
so that when Sister Sisto is touring,
we can pull out the screw and slam it shut,
crushing her like a little bitch.
SISTER BLISTA: Who's there?
You're not supposed to be here!
I'm calling the guards!
It's okay, Sister, we're just a little lost.
Hey, why don't you just forget you saw us.
SISTER BLISTA: Cherie?
[Cherie gasps]
Nova?
I haven't seen you in months. What are you doing here?
I'm not Nova anymore.
I was saved by Jesse. I go by Sister Blista now.
That's my name.
Cherie, we gotta get going.
Nova, I know we haven't talked since Halk died.
I never should have asked him to fight those mosquitoes with me.
He didn't want to be a hero. He just wanted to be with you.
I'm sorry.
Cherie, come on, the guards--
Please, Nova.
That's not my name, I told you.
I know you think the Church saved you.
But Sisto's dangerous, that's why we're here today.
She's not dangerous!
She told me we can bring Halk back
through the power of Jesse's light!
Oh, Nova,
you, you know that's not true, right?
He's gone.
Yes, but Jesse has a ray.
It can bring back anything from the dead.
Sister Sisto has seen it.
No, she doesn't speak to Jesse, nobody does!
She's evil, and she wants to control the Wall!
You don't have to stay here.
Come with us to the other side, you'll be safe.
The Church is my family.
This is a test. Halk is coming back.
Lady, keep it down.
An alien is going to bring my dead husband
back to life with a ray gun!
Guards, guards, over here!
Hurry, we gotta do this now!
[Sister Blista panting]
Oh!
Montez! Oh, thank Jesse I found you!
Sister, what's wrong?
Cherie's here.
She's trying to unscrew the hinge
to kill Sister Sisto.
You've got to do something!
Don't tell anyone.
We don't want to ruin this joyous day.
I'll handle it.
Oh, thank you! Hurry!
CHERIE: Come on, come on, come on, come on, almost there.
Keep going.
Oh shit, we're fucked.
- Run! - Onion volcano!
How do you know that?
Because I'm the mole.
But you're the head of Sisto's guards!
Fuck this shit, I say we end him and get out of here!
I swear it's me.
I set up your safe house
and left that package under the Sugar Daddy mailbox.
Okay, if you're really our mole,
what's the full Dove inspirational quote?
"It's definitely a bubble bath day."
Bubble, of course!
I couldn't watch Sisto kill our people anymore.
She's a monster.
Oh, it's really you!
What are you guys doing here?
Sisto will be here any moment with the child!
You can't trip this hinge!
What, Pezlie's here?
I wrote it on the wrapper: "9:30 A.M. tomorrow,
Sister Sisto touring Donatello Head with child, stay away."
Guys, the wrapper was ripped. We couldn't have known.
No. We did.
We ripped it.
What? Why?
We knew you'd never agree to the plan with Pezlie here!
Fucking duh!
This is our only chance to kill Sisto.
And if Pezlie goes too,
well, that was a risk we were willing to take.
That is exactly what Sisto would do!
You're no better than her!
Oh, you don't like us lying?
What about this?
That's different!
Admit it, you're the one who planted
the Mentos-Coke bomb in the Gameboy!
I saw you toss this before we crossed over.
I kept it as proof
that you've always been looking out for yourself.
Well, if I hadn't,
the council never would have approved this mission.
It's for the good of the Wall!
So is taking out Sisto!
You would turn her into a martyr!
This isn't an assassination. It's a rescue mission!
Look!
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
We gotta pop this hinge now.
Uh-uh, not with Pezlie in there!
Stand down, Cherie, let us make you a hero!
She already is one, you son of a bitch!
[punch thuds]
Ah, shit!
[all grunting]
Montez!
Looks like our mole is more of a chicken.
Well, that was a stupid thing to say.
Fuck you!
Sister Sisto!
You have to get out of here, Sister.
Cherie's trying to kill you.
What? Take the child to the palace.
Hurry, she's going to slam all of this shut!
- We have to go. - Where did you get this information?
I saw her!
I told Montez, did he not tell you?!
Montez, that fuck!
Find him, kill him.
[rumbling]
[both grunting]
♪
[rattling]
[screaming] [body thuds]
[all scream]
[rumbling]
[both grunting]
[blood spurting] [Lynette groans]
For the Wall!
[groans]
[screw thuds]
Oh God, no, no, no!
Pezlie!
[debris thudding]
♪
Oh, Pezlie!
Mama!
Oh God, mom dopamine. I feel high.
We have to move.
[guards gasping]
We need to put some distance between us and the guards.
Over there!
Tech Decks!
Can you believe kids in the '90s
used to entertain themselves with finger skateboards?
In the name of Jesse, stop right there!
Hang on, Pezlie! [Pezlie squeals]
PEZLIE: Mama!
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
♪
[Pezlie squeals]
♪
[guard grunts]
[Pezlie squeals]
[guard grunting]
[cell phone chimes]
[gasps] Pedro Pascal just left his house!
Sweet, the AirTag is working!
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
[Pezlie giggling]
GUARD: Aah!
The secret passage is just past this area!
Frozen lake?
Cherie, stop, stop!
No!
That's a cliff!
[Pezlie babbling]
Pezlie!
[Pezlie thuds]
Oh, shit, duh, the glass.
Holy shit, you freaked me out!
I feel dumb, sorry about that.
Hah! We made it. We're here.
You and Pezlie are gonna be okay.
[Pezlie babbles]
What are you doing?
The guards are still chasing us.
Jimmy and Lynette were willing to let Pezlie die.
The secular side of the Wall is gonna use her as a political prop,
just like Sister Sisto.
But we can't stay here!
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but the only way that I can keep Pezlie safe
is by leaving the Wall, again.
But you lived out there already, you know it's not safe.
Nowhere is safe.
But out there, it'll be us versus nature.
In here, it's us against everyone who wants to be a duke
or a god or whatever.
The power struggles never end.
Fine, I'll go with you.
No, I'm cursed.
Everyone who follows me gets eaten or blown up.
I know, but you're forgetting one thing.
What?
It's bubble bath day.
[chuckles] And there's nothing I can say
to change your mind?
- Nope. - Alright, then let's move.
This little muffin put on 10 pounds since the last time I saw her.
My arms are fucking killing me.
Sister Blista, I've been waiting for you.
Your allegiance to both me
and to our one and only holy Jesse is truly commendable.
My belief in you never wavered.
Under Jesse, all things are possible.
It's wonderful to know who the true believers are.
The betrayers will soon meet their demise.
- Did you track them? - Yes, Sister.
There were tracks leading to a hidden tunnel in the Wall.
It leads to the heathen side.
Jesse foretold this to me and me alone.
She told me those secular demons would steal our beautiful baby Jessius.
It hurts to believe that someone would steal a baby
to use for their own selfish purposes.
But they are devils.
They tried to kill me.
They stole our shining light. [Pezlie giggling]
Jesse has spoken to me.
She says it's time to kill every non-believer
on that side of the Wall.
This is a holy war, for Jesse's Light!
CITIZENS: For Jesse's Light!
For Jesse's Light!
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
[mimicking laser fire]