[Linda] Dear Maxine…
["Summer Wine" plays]
The money arrived in the nick of time.
Bye, Choi. I'll always remember you.
It's not safe to stay in one place too long.
I bring too much heat to those I love.
Thank God.
I boarded a plane with some of Choi's Marxist comrades.
The KGB presented me with a new name.
Olga Richbitchskaya.
And I was assigned a new job.
Honest noble work.
Washing dance belts for the Bolshoi ballet.
The artistry. The grace, Maxine. It's worth every bleeding chilblain.
And that's when I saw him.
Vladimir Nureyev.
That's right. Half-cousin to Rudolf.
Maxine, I'm in love.
The next few weeks we'll be playing the Kirov.
After that, who knows?
Warsaw? Samarkand? The world is wide open.
So many countries and men to explore.
Perhaps this is my true birthright?
A free yet hunted woman of the world?
I wish you the same liberation.
Do svidaniya, Olga.
[sighs]
Linda is free and has found love again.
While I am here, divorced, and stuck with my ex-husband.
She's just cranky 'cause she hasn't gotten laid.
Oh, and you have? 'Cause that's not what I'm hearing.
[sighs] We are here because she gave my ancestral home
to a literal mobster.
The only reason I did that was so Pinky wouldn't kill you.
I don't need protection, Maxine. Stop protecting me.
[sighs] Maybe if you would've used protection with my manicurist,
we wouldn't be here in the first place.
It always comes back to that.
Y'all need to work this shit out.
'Cause you're working for us now.
You come around here so often, they put me on your case.
You're welcome.
I just don't know why my club has to be the magnet for mobsters?
Well, this is bigger than Pinky.
J. Edgar here is convinced that there's a Soviet operative here in Palm Beach.
Someone above Pinky that's been running him all these years.
- Don't look at me. - I'm not.
It's someone connected and smart.
So you want us to keep Pinky criming until the Russian mole reveals himself
and then you bag him?
Your club is our honeypot.
Why should Linda have all the fun in Russia?
[chuckles] I'm in.
This is serious, Maxine.
International serious.
Keep your ears open. Pinky's handler can be anybody.
Except him.
["Over Easy" plays]
Great. I'm gonna be late to meet Mitzi. Dinah's throwing her "braby" shower.
I think you mean baby.
No, Maxine. "Braby." It's a combination of bridal, baby shower.
It sounds like an absolute gas.
Yeah. It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be a lot of fun.
Well, I'm late too.
I'm meeting my new partner, Pinky,
to talk crimes and the best way to commit them.
I love the new gangster me.
And I love "brabies."
[car engine starts]
[Maxine] Everything was all turned around.
Douglas was married with a baby on the way.
I had the Dellacorte, a life of crime and a new role to play.
I hardly recognize myself.
[sighs] Oh!
[grunts]
What about this one? Too much cleavage or not enough?
Better than the last one.
Hey, give me another nip of that nerve juice.
Thanks.
[gulping]
[sighs] Whoo!
[gulping]
[door opens]
[exclaims]
[door closes]
[sighs]
New me, here I come.
[screams]
[sighs]
I need to lay down.
[exhales sharply]
[Maxine grunts, sighs]
[panting]
Robert!
[whispering] Who's on the couch?
You are.
What?
[gasps]
Maxine?
Who are you?
I'm Mirabelle.
Your sister.
[sighs]
My what?
Decorum and class.
Both have been slipping at the Palm Royale.
But there's a new game in town.
And it's called "Evelyn Rollins-Martinez Takes No Shit."
[military music playing]
Tomorrow, we host our first high-profile event.
Mrs. Douglas Dellacorte's Braby Shower.
It must go off without a hitch.
And may I remind you, there is only one Mrs. Dellacorte in Palm Beach.
If this barbarian shows her face,
she is to be barred
at the gate.
- Is that understood? - [staff] Yes, ma'am.
- Louder. - Yes, ma'am!
I've got a million and ten questions for you.
Where'd you come from? What's your favorite color?
Dog breed? Pasta shape?
Why are you so drunk in the middle of the afternoon?
Tennessee. Green. Schnauzer. Elbow macaroni.
I don't normally over-tipple like this.
I… [inhales sharply]
…was just a little nervous about, you know, meeting the famous Maxine.
Famous? Do go on.
You're in all the papers. The next Queen of Palm Beach.
Your two-timing husband leaves you in front of everybody.
Enough about me. Let's go back to you.
[breathes deeply] Were you raised in an orphanage like me?
Ma and Pa raised me.
I guess they only had room for one.
[chuckles] Eeny, meeny, miny… Mirabelle.
- Oh. - [doorbell rings]
Oh. Shoot. That's my mobster.
[whispering] It's a matter of national security.
You stay here and rest, and I'll come back,
and we'll chitchat for hours. [chuckles]
- Okey dokey. - Okay.
I'm just gonna go to sleep and…
take a little nap and… then…
[snoring]
She's a drunk look-alike who shows up out of nowhere, Maxine.
- Stop it. - [chuckles]
I-I can't wait to introduce her to Palm Beach.
Maybe even have her move in and… and she can help me with the club.
[gasps] We could… We could call it M&M's.
Hola, mis amores.
Welcome to Raquel's.
Ah, that wall comes down to make room for the fountain.
[speaks Spanish, claps]
[suspenseful music plays]
Buenos días, Evelyn.
I'm here for my pound of flesh.
Who do you think held those garbage mortgages you paid off?
Exactly. I paid them off.
You paid off what that pissant owed me, not my protection,
for which I will take a vig
every week.
Cash.
Raquel, I've come around on the dog track in the backyard,
but I'm a little stuck on the name. [chuckles]
What about it?
I was thinking maybe my name could be at the front of it. "Maxine's." [chuckles]
Why would Raquel's be called that?
For one thing, this is my house and I'm… I'm a partner.
But I'm a wife. And the wife trumps everyone.
And if I say no?
Your waitstaff is union. I tell them to walk, they walk.
[speaks Spanish]
[in English] Are you threatening us?
He's not inviting us to a pig roast, Eddie.
Well, it is almost time for my two o'clock sauna.
I do my best thinking in the shvitz.
[sighs]
Can the club at least be classy like the Palm Royale?
We both wanna crush Evelyn here.
Raquel's will be an after-dark destination.
It can never compete with the fussy old Palm Royale.
Only a dead body in the pool could take that place down.
Maximo! [speaks Spanish]
Thank you.
Palm Royale by day. Raquel's by night, huh?
God bless America.
[chuckles]
[speaks Spanish]
Who the hell does he think he is?
- Who are you calling? - You don't wanna know.
[line ringing]
Raquel's. Maxine speaking.
Maxine, I have a Pinky problem, which means we have a Pinky problem.
Oh, no. You hurt your wee little finger in a freak golfing accident?
That's terrible, Evelyn.
What are you jabbering on about? Did you hear what I said?
Well, no one's gonna wanna see that mangled digit.
I think new gloves are just what the doctor ordered.
Are you having a seizure?
I'll meet you at Ceil's. ASAP.
[handsets settle in cradles]
Oh. Virginia.
What does Evelyn mean she had a Pinky problem?
Evelyn's got an actual, not a metaphorical gangster, pinky problem.
- Freak tennis injury. - I heard golf.
Did you know that sporting injuries are, uh, America's silent killer number 12?
To Ceil's. Bye, Virginia.
Are those "braby" checks? [chuckles]
No, dear. These are political donations.
After my speech at Marjorie Merriweather Post's square dance,
envelopes have been pouring in.
Mostly fives and 20s from impecunious lefties.
But look, Mitzi. Here's a check for a whopping $500
from the National Organization of Women.
[chuckles] Who would've thought?
Doug should have been here by now.
Every time he's out of my sight, I worry Pinky's got him.
It's not Pinky you should worry about.
It's Maxine.
Once the shine wears off the new girl,
a man always remembers what he liked about the old one.
I'm still shiny.
I'm glowing.
I'm pregnant and shiny and glowing.
[gasps]
- "Die, Dinah, die." - What?
"Die, Dinah, die." [breathes shakily]
Don't you see? This is from Norma.
Why would Norma want you dead?
She knows that I know that she killed Axel.
[whispering] She's trying to silence me.
It's dangerous to be a democrat.
["Mellowed Out" playing]
[guests chattering, laughing]
- [grunts] - [knocks on door]
- ["Mellowed Out" continues on radio] - [sighs]
You left something…
Miss me?
Is that even your real voice?
I also do French, Italian,
and Silbo Whistled Language from the Canary Islands.
- [whistling] - [scoffs]
[sighs] I thought you were in jail.
Out on bail.
So I thought I'd drop by and pay a visit to some old friends in Palm Beach.
I had a little surprise for your friend Maxine, but then…
- Then what? - [sighs]
I saw you,
and I realized why I really came back.
And it wasn't to screw Maxine.
I'm not gonna fall for your lies again.
[sighs] I wish I could lie to you.
It would be so much easier.
Both of us being here like this… It's…
- It's kismet. - [sighs]
Our second chance to run away.
I'm with someone.
Who's the lucky guy?
The cop who arrested you.
[chuckles] Well, that cop was very hot.
Listen, I don't know what your plan is with Maxine,
but you better leave her alone.
And you better leave Palm Beach
before I turn you in to the man I love.
If only you would turn me into the man you love.
[both breathing heavily]
- [presenter on radio speaks indistinctly] - Please leave.
- …this is WEATSN 104 West Palm Beach. - Please.
And you're right where you should be. [continues indistinctly]
[Reginald sighs]
I hope he's worth it, Robert.
[door closes]
[ominous music plays]
[inhales deeply]
Oh, yeah.
- [steam hisses] - [Douglas sighs]
God, yes.
Dellacorte. Where have you been?
Pinky. Hey. Hey, buddy.
- You disappeared on me. - [sighs] Yeah.
I have been deep in the mines prepping for this "braby" shower.
It's a combination. Baby, slash…
[chuckles] You know what? Never mind.
You know, when you disappear and leave me hanging,
I feel… I feel disrespected.
I need a sign of respect, Dellacorte.
W-What are you thinking?
Well, your baby shower is tomorrow…
"Braby."
So you can make it up to me publicly by announcing me the godfather of your child.
[chuckles]
- [steam hisses] - [grunts]
Kid leather, cloth and lace.
Everything we have in stock as per request…
[panting] Hello.
Grayman. Uh, a little privacy, please.
For gloves.
- Have you seen her cuticles? - Oh.
What's with the gloves?
Oh, it's not safe for us to talk on the phone.
We have got to get rid of the Kimberly-Marcos.
If I tell you how, will you be my friend again
and will you let me back into the Palm Royale?
Oh, for God's sake. Yes.
I'll be your palsy-walsy and let you back into the club.
Now how do I rid myself of this mobster?
You can't. That's the thing.
Pinky is not just a mobster, Evelyn.
He's being run by a powerful Russian agent.
Wait. Russians in Palm Beach?
I know. It's crazy.
[breathes heavily] We gotta think of something.
- Um… - What would Norma do?
- [grunts] She'd be an iron fist. - She'd kill someone.
[dramatic music plays]
- [grunts] - You didn't like your steak.
It's tough and all dried out.
I'm sorry. I must've overcooked it.
I saw you…
with another man.
And I'm not even allowed to be mad about it because I'm married.
[sighs]
- [sighs] - He kissed me once.
And that's it.
And then I told him to get the hell out of this town
or I was gonna have my beautiful, sexy cop boyfriend arrest him again.
"Again"?
Wait…
- Tom… - Oh, my God.
- Tom… - That… That wasn't--
Tom?
You were making out with the most dangerous con man in all of Palm Beach,
- and you told him I was your boyfriend? - I wasn't thinking.
I could lose my job and my pension.
My… [sighs]
- My family… - Tom…
Where you going?
Come on.
Well done.
Like the steak.
[dramatic music plays]
[scoffs]
[plate shatters]
["For Now For Always" playing]
[both chuckle]
Whoo! Somebody pinch me!
[sighs] Maxine,
I've always dreamed about having a slumber party with my sister.
- You dreamed about me? - Of course.
I've always had a Maxine-sized hole in my heart.
You know, before I knew your name, I would call you Annette.
[both chuckle]
I had a hole too.
I crammed my Mirabelle hole with things like pageants and clubs.
I crammed a whole lot of stuff in there.
Now that you're here, my hole is full.
[sighs] Just… Tell me everything.
Start from the… the instant you were born, and they chose you and not me.
L-Let's not focus on the bad stuff.
I have an idea.
Let's tell each other secrets.
Oh. What kind of secrets?
Deep, only-tell-your-twin kinda secrets.
Okay.
I've been married, happily, for about 20 years,
which I think is a success in that department.
But, otherwise, I haven't really had much luck.
- Romance-wise. - Really?
You're so pretty. [chuckles]
Thank you. [chuckles]
I've sorta had a bad track record.
I, uh, tried to kiss a gay pool boy.
I blew it with a lawyer, who may or may not have been a gynecologist.
- Mmm. Been there. - Hmm.
I'm worried.
Worried that you only get one great love in your life and that I found mine.
[sighs] My deep, dark secret is that
maybe I'll only ever love Douglas.
- [chuckles] - Oh.
Anyway… [sighs] …your turn. Deep, dark secret.
Okay.
My deep, dark, never-told-anyone- in-the-whole-wide-world-before secret is
I love dick.
Nixon?
No!
Dingaling, schlong, peckerwood, manrod.
Oh. I get the gist.
Men are all the same to me.
You found your person. And I'm worried I'll find anyone because
why be with one man when you can have 'em all? [chuckles]
That's a point. [chuckles]
Let's play a game.
Okay, big spoon or little spoon?
- Oh, I'm big spoon. - Me too.
Okay, my turn. Have you ever done it in a bus?
What? Like, a Greyhound?
- School. - No.
Have you ever done it in an ambulance?
Welcome to the "braby" shower.
Bridal shower gifts on the two-top. Baby shower gifts under the cabana.
My life is in grave danger, but the show must go on. Hello.
- Baby shower gifts under the cabana… - [Mitzi] Hi!
- [Raquel] Hello. - [Pinky mumbles]
Oh! [chuckles]
- Thank you so much. I love it. - [Raquel chuckles]
- [chuckles] - You're welcome… [speaks Spanish]
Anything for my godson or daughter.
- [laughs] - [Mitzi chuckles]
Thank you.
What did she mean, "godson"?
You know me, Mitz. [sighs]
I like to make conversation, and I might've…
You might've what?
I might've mentioned that the Kimberly-Marcos
could be the kid's godparents.
Godparents are supposed to take care of the baby
if something happens to the mother and father.
- And? - They're going to kill us!
[sighs] Thanks.
They're mobsters, and they're going to kill us and take all the money.
All 82 million.
Yeah, well. [sighs]
Mitz, this is actually might be a perfect time to tell you
that the actual number is 41 million.
Douglas…
I told Maxine that she could have half of the money once the baby is born.
You were just, "making conversation."
There might've been a lawyer present.
- Doug! - I need a drink.
[Dinah] Cheers, Douglas.
You think you're carrying a little bundle of joy.
You have no idea.
Really, it's an 82-million-dollar ticking time bomb.
No one is safe in this town. No one.
Least of all, me.
Oh, hello.
No, that goes over there on the two-top, darling.
Go. No, on the two-top.
Oh, God. My job is never done here.
["For Now For Always" playing]
I guess some people just get to have stuff like this, don't they?
Keep it. It's yours.
Thanks.
- What were they like? - Who?
Ma and Pa. You've never really said anything.
[sighs] You could never accuse me of being a crack shot judge of character,
but I'm pretty sure they were terrible people.
That's disappointing.
Trust me, you were lucky growing up in the orphanage.
- Oh. - [sighs]
Meanwhile, I was hot-wiring cars at the JOANN Fabric
or robbing banks.
- What? You robbed banks? - Yeah.
The best thing that came out of it was my karate chop.
Mom and Dad taught me kung fu to help with their bank robbin'
because they had a theory, and they were right,
that no one would expect a little girl to come outta nowhere with a karate chop.
I was pretty damn small too, and chubby.
This chubby little roly-poly thing would waddle out and karate chop you
if you had conflicting feelings about Mom and Dad's bank robbin'. [sighs]
Sometimes, I still act like a baby when I do it… [chuckles]
…just to catch people off guard. [chuckles]
[whispers] Wow.
So,
that's what got 'em locked up after all.
Oh, no, they got away with all that.
One way or another, if you could believe it.
No, what got 'em in the end was futzing with their taxes.
Not paying 'em basically.
- Tax evasion? - Yep.
Tax evasion.
That-That's… That's how I can get Pinky and Raquel.
Something boring, administrative and nonetheless illegal.
Good old fashioned Al Capone style tax evasion.
[breathes heavily]
And I know they're guilty of it because Raquel always pays in cash.
- [clicks tongue] - [chuckling] Mirabelle, you're a genius!
- [sighs] - Yeah, I am.
[chuckles] Alligators don't sit there trying to get to know me,
and that's fine because the feeling is mutual.
[chuckling] Fascinating.
But what I asked you, ten minutes ago, is if you've ever been asked
to do something in your line of work that wasn't…
[inhales sharply] How do I put it?
In the spirit of the law.
[chuckles]
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
And yet I still feel you miss my meaning. [chuckles]
Jed, I've been looking for you.
The shrimp fountain is running low, if you wouldn't mind.
- To be continued. - To be continued.
- What was that all about? - What would Norma do?
[sighs] The truth is she'd have Pinky killed.
- That's what she would do. - Ay, dios mío.
Evelyn, Evelyn, Evelyn, Evelyn.
You were not checking to see if Jed is willing to kill Pinky.
[chuckles] Oh, of course not.
I may have been simply circling the rim of the bowl
in the general vicinity of that kind of thinking, but--
No, no, look at me. You're not a killer.
- You're not like that. - How do you know I'm not?
- I certainly don't wanna know that. - Fine then.
I'll just solve all our problems by myself, dear husband.
And you don't have to know anything about anything. I'll do all the work,
and you can keep your pretty conscience clean just like Douglas.
That isn't fair.
Well, marriage isn't fair.
I'll be the Maxine to your Dougly-doo-dah.
Where are you going?
You don't wanna know.
I need a huge favor from you, Sis.
Sure. Anything.
I need to let Evelyn know that Pinky and Raquel have been cooking the books,
but I can't have Virginia see me leave.
So, I need you to pretend to be me. [chuckles]
- Classic switcheroo. - Yes.
Okay, here's the plan: I need you to wash the car.
But in a real "I'm washing the car" kinda way.
- I know how to do that. - Great.
[grunts]
Get to washin'.
Sponges are in the garage!
Sneaky tunnel stairway passage.
God, I love this house.
["Harper Valley P.T.A." playing]
♪ I wanna tell you all the story 'Bout a Harper Valley widowed wife ♪
♪ Who had a teenage daughter ♪
♪ Who attended Harper Valley Junior High ♪
♪ Well, her daughter came home One afternoon ♪
♪ And didn't even stop to play ♪
♪ And she said, "Mom, I got a note here From the Harper Valley P.T.A." ♪
♪ Well, the note said, "Mrs. Johnson You're wearin' your dresses way too high ♪
♪ It's reported you've been drinkin' And a-runnin' round with men ♪
♪ And goin' wild ♪
♪ And we don't believe you oughta be A-bringing up your little girl this way" ♪
♪ And it was signed by the secretary Harper Valley P.T.A. ♪
My life is a goddamn mess.
Well. Hey, stranger.
I just can't take this shit anymore.
Pinky, Mitzi.
The fucking Russian mole in the middle of Palm Beach.
I mean, God, how did we get involved in such dangerous nonsense?
[sighing]
Did you do something different with your hair?
[chuckles]
Why don't you come inside for a drink? You look like you could use one.
So I have a plan.
It's a… It's a very simple plan.
Do you wanna hear it?
Huh? Yeah, of course I do.
We run away together.
You and me.
[chuckling]
Okay. Uh, tell me more.
No… [stammers] …I mean it, Max.
I can't keep stringing Pinky along waiting for the Feds to find some big Russian.
This isn't, "Douglas, we told you to reroute to Charlotte.
Where the hell are you going? Why are you not rerouting to Charlotte?"
This isn't that kind of pressure.
As your, um… [clears throat] …ex-wife.
You should know that, uh, I plan to fix all this.
An ex-wife plan,
but, sugar, can't tell you about it because we're divorced.
God, I left the woman that I love,
a woman who would protect me from some homicidal Cuban mobster
for-for someone who just bitches at me all the time.
And makes me feel like a complete dunderhead.
[sighs]
You're not a "dunderhead." And… [sniffs]
Wow, this is the good stuff.
- It-It's just-- - I know.
Marry Mitzi, have the baby. Get the money.
- Yes. - [sighs]
Well, that's exactly what I was gonna say.
And then maybe…
maybe then we can get back together.
We can share some of that money
with a long lost relative we don't even know exists. [chuckles]
Someone who's a real gas.
Groovy chick.
You-You would take me back a-after everything that I've done?
Baby steps, Douglas.
Baby steps.
Cherry?
You go back with Mitzi.
And let me, Maxine, think.
Mmm.
Letter D.
For Douglas!
[dramatic music playing]
[breathing shakily]
Tom.
Um, excuse me.
Mr. Diaz, can I help you?
I wanted to see you because I needed to say I'm sorry.
I was completely out of line yesterday.
[people laughing]
[stammers] Is it someone's birthday?
- Am I interrupting something? - Everyone's celebrating.
A routine traffic stop just netted one of America's most wanted.
Who?
Your prince. He had broken parole, and was on his way out of town.
Lucky break.
Now I've been told to interrogate him.
- Is that bad? - With what he knows?
He'll either blackmail me or serve me up to my bosses.
- Either way, he walks, and I'm done. - I'm so sorry.
I was just trying to tell him how important you are to me.
Now he knows.
By the way, he had this in his suitcase.
[tense music plays]
- Yeah. - [gasps]
Nice company you keep.
[sighs]
[Evelyn] You're an absolute mastermind.
The IRS is-is a whole different branch of the government.
If we can get him with this,
we don't have to wait for the FBI to build their case.
- It's worth a shot. - Yes.
[Grayman] You're sure you want to retry every single pair?
Well, you're the one who said "Fashion is all."
How are we gonna prove tax evasion? Become CPAs overnight?
We have to find out where they keep their books,
um, any records they may have.
Well. Oh, that's Pinky.
That's Pinky himself. He's the bookkeeper.
- What? - Wait, what time is it?
Oh. Uh, it's 1:30.
Eddie says Pinky always takes his shvitz between two and three.
That means he is naked. That means he won't have the ledger.
- Oh, hi. - It's 1970, Grayman. Gloves are out.
[footsteps approaching slowly]
[speaking Russian]
So, you two are trying to sell us out to Hoover himself, hmm?
You will never learn who I've been working for.
You better watch where you're pointing that thing.
I've been trying to redecorate.
I finally figured what this place needs.
A spray of Russian red.
Then I got three words for you…
Wah, wah, wah.
What are you? A baby?
[both grunting]
["The Joker" playing]
[groans]
- [yelling, grunting] - [grunting] Get off me!
[panting]
[groans]
[screams]
[both groaning]
[shouting in Spanish]
[both scream]
[both grunting, screaming]
[Mirabelle panting]
[grunting]
["The Joker" continues]
[grunts, groans]
[both screaming]
[both screaming, panting]
[screams]
["The Joker" continues]
- [song ends] - [tires screech]
- Maxine, wait. - You're not allowed in here,
- and that comes from the top. - No. It's okay, Jedebedahia.
This woman from here on in, you treat like a queen.
Let's hit the steam rooms.
[intriguing music playing]
Oh. [shushes, stammers] It's Douglas.
Douglas.
You're here?
Yes.
Uh.
And don't ask me why, but we need you to go into the steam room.
- The steam room? - Yes. Listen.
Pinky's in there and I need you to keep him in there as long as possible. Please.
- Oh, this is all part of your plan. Oh. - Oh.
- Yes. - [chuckles]
My plan. [chuckles]
Sure.
Okay. Well. Go get, uh, shvitzing.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Let's go see… [muttering]
- Oh. - Oh!
Just sitting here.
[Douglas exhales sharply]
- Pinky. - [Pinky] Doug.
[Douglas grunts]
Love all the steam, huh?
They say it's good for the privates.
You know, for the purposes of baby making.
[grunts]
Hey. Wait, wait. You're not leaving already, are you?
Pinky, a man of your stature,
and a… international man of mystery and a family man on top of all that…
I… I've been meaning to ask if you have any advice for someone like me.
Mmm. Of course.
[clears throat]
Okay. What, what, what?
- There's still two in there. - Shoot…
- Wait, I know. - What?
- [stammers] Call Eddie. - No, no, no, no.
Eddie has made it perfectly clear he doesn't want anything to do
with any of my… [stammers] …innovations.
Well, you tell Eddie he is involved in this whether he likes it or not.
No, I will not.
[scoffs]
There is a lesson that I have learned the hard way.
In marriage, you cannot keep things from each other.
- [scoffs] - You… [stammers]
You can't pile secret upon secret.
Because it makes you grow farther and farther apart.
And then,
one day, it's-it's normal, that distance.
The next thing you know, he's… he's having an affair.
Point well taken.
[gasps] Well, have you tried using raisins?
- I-I never thought of using raisins. - Oh. Just try using…
Let's go.
It stinks in here.
[whispers indistinctly]
- [gasps] Here. It's right here. - Kimberly-Marco. Yes.
- Okay. - Oh, look, look, look.
There's a bag. Bag, bag, bag, bag, bag, bag. It's open.
Where is it? [exclaims]
- It's not here! - Oh, shit.
[Maxine panting]
Now what do we do? Jeezy, creezy, dogs and fleasy.
- Oh. They're here. Go, go, go. Come on. - What? Oh. [stammers]
[Pinky] Do you know a mistake that many men make?
Trading in their wives.
That was your mistake.
That is why you are where you are.
I, for one, would never trade in my wife.
I cherish Raquel.
I protect her.
Loyalty at all costs.
Yeah?
- [exclaims] - [grunts]
[phone ringing]
[Robert] Maxine, we need to talk.
- Maxine. - [phone ringing continues]
What the hell? What the hell?
- Yes. Hello? - Robert, darling.
[mysterious music playing]
Norma.
Where are you?
How are you?
I have two questions for you, Robert.
First, why is my beloved home being turned into a tacky nightclub?
Maxine made a deal with Pinky
so she could save Douglas. She had no choice, Norma.
Robert, did you tell Maxine my little secret?
Yes. I'm sorry. I know.
[sighs] I can forgive you anything, my love.
It's Maxine who is going to pay.
Maxine!
Is there something you wanna tell me?
- Norma is alive. - Yeah.
- So you know Maxine didn't kill her? - Yeah. I've been listening.
I traced everything. Norma is in Palm Beach.
Look, we gotta find Maxine. She's in grave danger.
Well, not only Maxine.
I think there's someone else you need to meet.
What, is she multiplying?
- ["Los Bongos" playing] - Oh, thanks.
Maxine.
We are sure happy to have you here. You must be here for afternoon tea.
Uh, no… [stammers] …I actually, I… I've just come to…
Now, would you like the caviar service or the pastry tower?
["Los Bongos" continues]
Both.
[Jed] As you wish.
[smooth jazz music playing]
Mmm.
So, you did it?
Oh.
Hello.
Would you like to join me?
Caviar.
Uh, cream puffs.
God.
I love the way that you love things.
You and I, we make a great team.
And you are an amazing woman. And I…
I just don't think I have ever seen you look so beautiful.
[spits]
- Douglas. - Mmm?
You are the only man that I will ever love.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
Just said it last night.
Would you…
wanna go somewhere more private?
["Everything Makes Music When You're in Love" playing]
[Mirabelle] Mmm.
[Douglas] Mmm.
Lead the way.
- Hey, what are you guys doing here? - Maxine.
- Oh, Maxine. Thank God. - What?
It's Norma. She's in Palm Beach.
[gasps] Criminy.
[Virginia] Look, we gotta get you to a safe house now.
Oh, no. Listen… Well, okay. Well, we've gotta go to the Dellacorte first.
- I gotta get Mirabelle. - We were just at the Dellacorte.
- She's not there. - What?
Mirabelle can't be trusted, Maxine.
Of course she can be trusted. What are you saying? She's my twin.
Maxine. How was the caviar?
Oh. Delicious. Thank you.
What?
Caviar.
[gasps]
She's here.
[Pinky] Raquel, mi amor.
[ominous music playing]
Raquel!
- [speaks Spanish] - [muffled screaming]
Mi amor!
Who did this to you? Who?
[speaking Spanish]
Who did this to you? Who did this to you?
- [speaks Spanish] - [groans]
- Who did this to you? - Maxine! [groans]
[speaking Spanish]
Maxine!
- No one does this to me! - [screams]
No one does this to me!
Pinky!
- Hey! - [speaks Spanish]
- I'm sorry. [speaks Spanish] - [speaks Spanish]
You look so beautiful, mi amor.
[both panting]
- That was really something. - Mmm.
It was…
- a little confusing at times but… - Hmm.
[chuckling] Whoa.
You're welcome, stranger.
[sighs]
God, I love you.
I am
so happy to hear that.
[kisses]
- Okay. Well… [chuckles] - [chuckles]
I'm sure that Mitzi's wondering where I am.
- I should-- - Okay, bye.
[sighs]
Hey, you.
[Mirabelle] Oh.
Uh… Hey, Sis.
[pants]
[Maxine sighs]
Mirabelle.
Did you come here to steal my life and money?
Robert told me everything.
[sighs] He has… He has a mug shot of you, and-and you have a record.
Petty thieving and… [stammers] …identity theft and…
I haven't always been on the right side of the law. [chuckles]
I think that's been established.
There was no grift.
[sighing] A man…
[stammering] …a very handsome gay man,
with muscles in places I didn't know existed,
approached me, and-and told me I had a sister in Palm Beach.
[sighs] And that he would pay me to meet her.
All I had to do was get here a-and wait for instructions.
But-But the instructions never came.
[stammers] I never heard from the man again.
There I was, lonesome old me in my motel, and I just thought…
I'm gonna find her anyway.
I wanted to find my sister.
[sighs] Oh.
I got you this.
[dramatic music playing]
Pinky's ledger?
[pants] How did you get this?
I just dusted off my karate chop.
[gasps]
There's something else.
Uh…
You know how you said you would only ever love Doug?
Well, I went the extra mile and confirmed…
that he still loves you too, and he will forever.
And I really…
really, really, know this.
[Maxine] You didn't…
You didn't sleep with Douglas, did you?
I can't deny that our
privates became acquainted.
[gasps]
Oh, gosh.
You're not mad, are you?
Um. I-I think this is gonna have to be a longer conversation.
It's a yes or no question.
[scoffs]
I've gotta, uh, get this to someone.
Uh… [stammers] …Time's of the essence.
What? Where you going?
[sad orchestral music playing]
Well, I'll just wait here by the pool.
[sighs]
Shit.
Oh, how delightful to know.
I'll walk this into your office tomorrow.
Apparently, the IRS is already onto them.
And this little book is just the piece of hard evidence they need.
They'll be moving against Pinky in the next few days.
Oh, yes! And then we can run Palm Beach. Just us ladies. [chuckles]
- Night, night, pals. [chuckles] - Good night.
Just us ladies?
Mmm. Maybe there's a-a new side of me.
One you don't like.
[sighs] I don't know. I hope not.
Come here.
[sighs] I'll see you back at home.
- I have to finish up here. [chuckles] - Yeah.
Bye.
[dramatic music playing]
[Virginia] We gotta get you to someplace safe.
I know a motel in West Palm Beach,
but I think you guys are blowing this whole Norma thing out of proportion.
We need to be more worried about what Maxine's sister had planned.
[sighs] Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
Look, I don't care who or what she's done.
It doesn't feel right leaving her here.
[gunshot]
[gasps]
[Evelyn] Maxine.
[gasping]
This fucking bitch.