1
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:31,508
Here you go.
2
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:35,762
You got here just in time.
I thought I was about to die of thirst.
3
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,764
Well, we certainly wouldn't want that,
would we?
4
00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,270
Deliciously dry.
5
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,106
Kinda like the crowd in this room.
6
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:50,569
Sit, join me.
7
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:53,530
I don't think that's allowed, ma'am.
8
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,115
Come on, sit.
9
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,242
Nobody will mind. Trust me.
10
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,044
Who are you?
11
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,044
Excuse me?
12
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:10,756
You've been serving me these
the entire season,
13
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:13,133
and yet I know almost nothing about you.
14
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:17,304
Tell me about the man behind the martini.
15
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:18,972
My name is Robert.
16
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,267
And I grew up in Puerto Rico.
17
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:25,062
Tell me, Robert, do you miss your family?
18
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:27,064
We don't speak.
19
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,149
Common affliction.
20
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,818
I only have one nephew with a horrid wife.
21
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,445
I'm so sorry to hear that.
22
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,696
You needn't be.
23
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:41,119
Although I must admit,
I do get a little lonely at times,
24
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:44,081
rattling around that big house
all by myself.
25
00:02:48,544 --> 00:02:52,422
I'm in need of someone
to perform certain tasks.
26
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,049
What kind of tasks?
27
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,426
All in good time, my boy.
28
00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:02,182
The only thing I ask for in return
is complete discretion.
29
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,353
Are you the man for the job?
30
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:18,657
Help!
31
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,788
Help! Help!
32
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,333
Where is everyone?
33
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:34,548
My so-called bosom buddies,
leaving me to just perish out at sea.
34
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,551
How could they?
35
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,761
Are they all so obsessed
36
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,055
with their tawdry little lives?
37
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:47,269
They've all forgotten about me.
38
00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,979
Of course I'll say yes.
39
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,981
I just wanna make your life easier.
40
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,941
I know. Me too.
41
00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,444
Sons of bitches.
42
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,405
Or should I say bitches of bitches.
43
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,116
That's kind of funny.
44
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,285
It's also sad.
45
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,205
So very sad.
46
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,501
Don't they know
47
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:13,295
a forgotten woman
is the most dangerous woman of all?
48
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,798
Because a forgotten woman
has nothing left to lose.
49
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,096
Linda's not picking up.
50
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,934
You're my only friend left in the world,
Bernadette.
51
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,689
Unless you're just sticking around
to feast on my bones
52
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,900
like the rest of the savages in this town.
53
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,401
Who are you calling?
54
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:38,779
Maxine.
55
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,656
What are you gonna tell her?
56
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:42,950
That you were swept up
in a homosexual raid?
57
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,618
Shit! Shit! What the hell was I--
58
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,621
Dellacorte residence,
Mary Meredith Davidsoul speaking.
59
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,582
Mary? What the hell are you doing
at my house?
60
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,418
I brought Norma home from the boat party.
61
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:56,421
Your wife left her to rot on the deck.
62
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,508
What are you talking about?
Where is Maxine?
63
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:02,928
I haven't the foggiest.
But you need to scurry on home.
64
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,681
I'm late for
my consciousness-raising circle
65
00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:10,435
and I don't think that my consciousness--
66
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:14,648
should have to suffer
because your wife is a dreadful mess.
67
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,197
You shouldn't eat chocolate.
68
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,117
Maxine didn't come home last night.
69
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,161
Maybe she's having an affair.
70
00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:30,455
What are you talking about, man?
71
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,666
Come on, you promised to be cool.
72
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,668
That's true.
I promise it won't happen again.
73
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:37,004
Good.
74
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,798
Because we both know
if Maxine found out, it would kill her.
75
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,676
I've been a fool, haven't I?
76
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:47,181
To think that an insignificant nobody
like me could ever be chosen for--
77
00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:50,475
Bernadette!
78
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,688
Save yourself!
79
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,358
Tell my husband I love him!
80
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,153
Ahoy, spaceman.
81
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,322
Ahoy.
82
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,533
Are you okay?
83
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,911
- Are you?
- I am now.
84
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,289
You wanna come to a party?
85
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:55,749
What's that?
86
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,125
A party!
87
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:01,380
It's called the Beach--
Never mind, I'll explain later.
88
00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:04,758
Swim towards me. I'll save you.
89
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,302
Thank you, sweet, small,
baby Jesus in the sky.
90
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,354
Mr. Diaz, I need to speak to you.
91
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:24,486
I told you to stay out of that place
at night.
92
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,864
- Yes, but I didn't know what you meant.
- What's going on?
93
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,033
I've met you before.
94
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,286
Yeah, I arrested you.
95
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,538
It's great to see you again.
96
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,583
Listen, you think
you could help us get out of here?
97
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:41,837
- I'm sure my wife is worried sick.
- I don't think so.
98
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:45,924
She's kinda preoccupied at the moment.
99
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,176
Preoccupied? What do you mean?
100
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:54,975
Tell us more about how you
came across this lost mermaid.
101
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,810
Well, I just happened to be driving by,
102
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,813
and I thought I'd offer this
pretty little hitchhiker a lift.
103
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,648
She didn't seem too terribly dangerous.
104
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,525
What the hell?
105
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,861
Any plans to drop in on the White House?
106
00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:08,614
I'm sure the President would love
to offer his congratulations.
107
00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:09,823
Well, sir, that sounds swell.
108
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,700
I would love to visit the President.
109
00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:16,371
But I've been invited to a party
by this lovely lady to my right.
110
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,832
Well, the President's welcome
to come as well.
111
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,084
- We got to get out of here.
- It's the 50th anniversary
112
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,544
- of the Beach Ball.
- I know who to call.
113
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,922
Excuse me, I need to make a call.
114
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:27,841
I'm gonna sing.
115
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,219
Wow. I would love to hear that.
116
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:42,063
Very good of NASA to bring
both of you straight to the studio.
117
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,858
Well, NASA always loves good publicity.
118
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,527
- Sometimes it...
- I swear to God,
119
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,655
that woman is like a cockroach.
She has nine lives.
120
00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:51,073
I thought you guys were friends.
121
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:54,117
She forced her way into my set.
That does not make us friends.
122
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,577
If you say so.
123
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:56,578
I do.
124
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,747
Let me cook you dinner tonight.
125
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:02,668
- Why?
- Because I'm an incredible cook.
126
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:05,546
Do you do this with a lot of women
at the club?
127
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:06,713
What do you mean "this"?
128
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,465
This, this, this.
129
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:14,429
If I remember correctly,
you asked me to kiss you.
130
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:17,307
And I loved every minute of it.
131
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,937
- You expecting someone?
- Eddie, it's me.
132
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,900
The door is dead-bolted,
so I know you're in there.
133
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:30,362
Go away, Dinah. We're finished.
I meant what I said last night.
134
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:32,531
Oh, really?
Well, did you also mean what you said
135
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,199
when you promised to love me forever?
136
00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:37,953
I don't speak Spanish, Eddie.
137
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,123
Well, if that is how you really feel,
138
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:46,211
you can leave this condo that I pay for.
Immediately.
139
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,171
Leave me alone.
140
00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:49,173
I hope you die in abject misery.
141
00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:50,465
You certainly will.
142
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,351
You were saying?
143
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,895
I'm sorry. I--
144
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,106
She insisted on keeping us a secret.
145
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,901
I didn't want to,
but I think she was ashamed of me.
146
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,069
I meant what I said though.
147
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:13,947
Whether you believe it or not,
I'd still like to cook you dinner.
148
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,869
Just might have to be at your place.
149
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,209
I'm gonna have to get back to you on that.
150
00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:29,755
I'm just gonna need to check my book.
151
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,925
Rescued by an astronaut.
152
00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:37,471
That's the problem with this town, Norma.
153
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:40,224
Good people like us get the shaft,
154
00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:44,811
but incompetent liars
like Maxine Simmons are celebrated.
155
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:54,863
That cat is worth $75,000,
156
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,449
- isn't she, Norma?
- Uh-huh.
157
00:11:04,248 --> 00:11:07,626
If your niece isn't going to make good
on her word,
158
00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:14,091
I have no choice
but to confiscate this old, stone puss...
159
00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:17,803
for the Fibs.
160
00:11:17,803 --> 00:11:19,763
- Who?
- Hello?
161
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,391
Oh, fuck.
162
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:23,517
Douglas.
163
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:28,355
Mary.
164
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,357
Thank goodness you're back.
165
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,109
Where's Douglas?
166
00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:35,696
I can't keep track of your entire family,
Maxine.
167
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,573
Isn't your poor aunt enough?
168
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:41,118
Yes, I apologize.
Thank you for taking care of Norma.
169
00:11:41,118 --> 00:11:43,245
I'm just doing what decent people do.
170
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,085
I'm very sorry about your ordeal, Maxine.
171
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:53,005
Thank you, Mary.
172
00:11:53,005 --> 00:11:54,673
That astronaut is very handsome though.
173
00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:57,301
Is he? Hadn't noticed.
174
00:11:58,802 --> 00:11:59,928
Mary?
175
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,056
Don't you wanna hound me about fibrosis?
176
00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:05,767
Don't worry about it. We're square.
177
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,276
Thanks for doing this.
178
00:12:15,319 --> 00:12:17,946
I didn't know who else to call
with ready cash on hand.
179
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,824
I have to say,
I feel really weird about all this.
180
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:23,493
I totally agree, and I think
I should let you guys talk, so...
181
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:25,329
Yeah, that would be a good idea.
182
00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:27,289
Yes, but I need to get out.
183
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:31,293
And you need to get out
in order for me to get out.
184
00:12:38,217 --> 00:12:39,051
All right.
185
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:51,230
You're sending me
a lot of mixed signals, Douglas.
186
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,317
I don't mean to.
187
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:58,445
We made a mistake, that's all.
188
00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:03,033
I didn't want to take your money, but I've
decided I'm going to take your money--
189
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:07,621
minus what I paid for your bail--
and go to New York to be a model.
190
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,206
That sounds like a really nice plan.
191
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,170
Well, have a nice life, Mitzi.
192
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:19,341
You too.
193
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:42,489
No, no, no.
194
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:48,453
What I've learned is
if you wanna get noticed,
195
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:51,456
you have to make a big gesture,
like Maxine.
196
00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:55,627
She probably pitched herself over
the side of that boat to get attention.
197
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:58,589
Well,
we're making counterfeit passports, Mary.
198
00:13:58,589 --> 00:13:59,882
We don't need any more attention.
199
00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:04,887
You done with your vow of silence,
or are you about to pantomime some shit?
200
00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:07,973
I got hoarse from not talking,
so can you come talk to me?
201
00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:12,895
Wow. You turned this around fast.
202
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,688
Well, jump in, make yourself useful.
203
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:17,482
Sorry, I can't. I'm leaving for an ashram.
204
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:18,650
Well, say "hi" to Ringo.
205
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,778
I wish. I'm headed to Peru.
206
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:25,824
But everybody can stay here
as long as you'd like.
207
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,785
I'm leaving my checkbook, so have at it.
208
00:14:31,622 --> 00:14:34,291
Pack up your beanbags
and get out of my house, hippies.
209
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:36,543
- I'm moving back in.
- Like hell you are.
210
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:39,755
I need a place to cook dinner,
so you, missy,
211
00:14:39,755 --> 00:14:42,299
are gonna give this house back to me
right this very minute or--
212
00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:45,677
Or you'll what? Call the police
and tell them I killed my father?
213
00:14:46,762 --> 00:14:47,888
What are you going on about?
214
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,807
Doug got to me first.
215
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:55,687
So Doug is getting $2 million
of Daddy's money.
216
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:58,148
And you are shit out of luck.
217
00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:01,735
- Sorry, Evelyn.
- Fuck off, Mary.
218
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,492
Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine?
219
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:11,411
What the-- Where's my champagne?
220
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:14,373
What in the heavens? Bu--
221
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:19,002
Oh, Maxine. Oh, babe,
thank God you're all right.
222
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,964
Yeah. Well, no thanks to you.
Where have you been?
223
00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:25,342
I told you,
I had a business meeting at the club.
224
00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:26,552
A business meeting,
225
00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:30,514
while I'm out there bobbing around
like a big piece of shark bait?
226
00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:32,349
Couldn't you have sent someone?
The coast guard?
227
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:34,184
I would have taken a fishing pontoon.
228
00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:36,103
I didn't even know you were missing.
229
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:38,730
And I'm so sorry, Maxine. I feel terrible.
230
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:39,982
Robert, this is not your fault.
231
00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:45,529
Listen, when I was out there
floating around alone...
232
00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:49,658
I just felt so terribly.
I couldn't stop thinking about you.
233
00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:51,451
Please know I meant well. I really did.
234
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,245
Don't worry. Maxine, please.
It's okay. It's--
235
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:54,413
No, it's not okay.
236
00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:56,999
Well, what kind of friend would I be
if I knew someone could hurt you,
237
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:58,166
and I didn't say anything?
238
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:00,878
A bad friend.
239
00:16:00,878 --> 00:16:01,795
Exactly.
240
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,882
Hey, why don't you just go on upstairs
and relax?
241
00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:06,383
- Relax?
- Yeah.
242
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:10,596
You want me to relax? Relax?
I can't relax.
243
00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:13,473
I'm throwing the-the party of my life
in 48 hours.
244
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:17,269
I gotta go upstairs, and put my leotard on
and start blocking my number.
245
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,354
Relax.
246
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:20,606
Easy for you to say.
247
00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:23,609
Relax with your business meetings
at the club.
248
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,780
You're really good at that.
249
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:32,159
- Lying.
- What am I supposed to say?
250
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,244
- What?
- That I was swept up in a gay raid
251
00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:37,623
telling our pool boy how I was having
an affair with her manicurist?
252
00:16:37,623 --> 00:16:38,916
- Douglas.
- Mitzi,
253
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,250
- what are you doing here?
- Oh, my God.
254
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,878
I've been hiding in a bush
waiting for Maxine to go upstairs.
255
00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:45,005
- Why?
- My car won't start.
256
00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,717
- Maxine.
- Maxine?
257
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,303
- What's going on?
- Ann.
258
00:16:51,303 --> 00:16:52,596
- Maxine?
- Oh, my God. What happened?
259
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:53,680
I don't know.
260
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,849
She said she wanted to look through
Norma's scrapbooks,
261
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,392
and I found her like this.
262
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,645
- Well, she has a pulse.
- Thank heavens.
263
00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:00,938
Maybe she's just asleep.
264
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:05,192
- Mitzi?
- I'm gonna go call an ambulance.
265
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,401
Yes.
266
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:08,194
Hi, Maxine.
267
00:17:08,779 --> 00:17:09,613
Thank God you're here.
268
00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:11,198
We need all the help we can get.
269
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:14,535
I don't know what to do. Ann!
270
00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:16,036
Is she gonna be all right?
271
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,038
Hard to say, ma'am.
They'll have to run tests.
272
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,165
I'm sorry, but I really do have to go.
273
00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:22,334
- What?
- I just stopped by to say goodbye.
274
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,294
I'm heading to New York City.
275
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:27,422
Mitzi, you can't abandon me
before the Beach Ball.
276
00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:28,715
You're supposed to help with my number.
277
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,884
I can't stay. I gave up my apartment.
278
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:33,095
Nonsense. You can stay with us.
We have plenty of rooms.
279
00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:34,638
I don't want to put you out.
280
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:35,806
We really need to get moving.
281
00:17:35,806 --> 00:17:36,974
Okay. One minute.
282
00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:38,308
She doesn't want to put us out, Max.
283
00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:41,186
Well, I don't care what either one
of you want. I almost drowned.
284
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:43,188
Maybe it's time to do what I think.
285
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,773
Hey, what are you doing?
286
00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:47,317
What am I doing? I'm going with her.
287
00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:49,945
I know what it's like to be left for dead.
288
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:52,865
Is that all you can do
when the chips are down?
289
00:17:52,865 --> 00:17:54,449
Just gnaw at yourself? Stop it.
290
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:57,244
Mitzi, do me a favor
and give Douglas a clear coat.
291
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:59,663
- He needs to break the habit.
- Okay, we really need to go.
292
00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:00,747
All right. Let's go then.
293
00:18:09,673 --> 00:18:10,716
What's a clear coat?
294
00:18:30,861 --> 00:18:33,238
These are the worst
I've ever seen.
295
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,990
You must have a lot of stress.
296
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:41,288
Do you do this a lot?
297
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,165
No, this is the first.
298
00:18:43,749 --> 00:18:45,000
No, not the manicure.
299
00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:47,920
No.
300
00:18:48,879 --> 00:18:50,214
You were the first too.
301
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,341
I find that hard to believe.
302
00:18:52,341 --> 00:18:55,969
It's just fucking Palm Beach.
303
00:18:56,470 --> 00:18:59,431
Palm Beach didn't invite me
into the coat closet, Doug.
304
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:03,477
I told Maxine
I didn't want to come back here.
305
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,854
Now you're blaming Maxine?
306
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:10,943
No. No,
I just didn't want to disappoint her.
307
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:15,697
You're really easy to talk to, Mitzi.
308
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:18,825
Manicurists and bartenders.
309
00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:20,369
We're good listeners.
310
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,579
Students of human nature.
311
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:24,748
Better tips.
312
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,754
Looks like we both had a rough night, friend.
313
00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:34,383
Must be so hard to go through this
without any loved ones.
314
00:19:36,552 --> 00:19:38,554
Do you have any loved ones, Ann?
315
00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:42,641
How about you tell me everything there
is to know about you when you wake up?
316
00:19:42,641 --> 00:19:43,725
Deal?
317
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:46,770
Maxine?
318
00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:51,817
Oh, my stars.
319
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:54,194
We just keep running into each other.
320
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:57,823
We're in each other's orbit. I'm sorry.
Terrible. Astronaut humor.
321
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:02,286
Who's your friend?
322
00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:05,956
This is my friend, Onn Haliday.
Ann Holiday.
323
00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:08,917
She's a journalist.
She writes for The Shiny Sheet.
324
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:11,253
She's in a coma.
She's a journalist in a coma.
325
00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:13,088
Golly.
326
00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:16,300
Yes. What are you doing here?
327
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:17,718
Just had to do some blood tests,
328
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:19,553
'cause I'm not gonna be able
to get back to base.
329
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:23,182
There's also this pediatric cancer wing,
and I just had to say hi.
330
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,560
Why can't you go back to base?
331
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:29,563
You invited me to a party
in a couple of days, remember?
332
00:20:29,563 --> 00:20:30,772
You're gonna sing?
333
00:20:32,316 --> 00:20:34,193
- I know this might sound silly.
- It won't.
334
00:20:34,193 --> 00:20:35,777
Before I got the space bug
335
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,946
I was a darn good piano player.
336
00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:40,782
I'm sure someone like you
already has someone to accompany--
337
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:42,993
I haven't anyone.
338
00:20:42,993 --> 00:20:45,245
I don't have someone to.
339
00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:49,499
I would be honored
if you would tickle my ivories.
340
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,711
All right. Groovy.
What song are you gonna sing?
341
00:21:00,511 --> 00:21:02,221
Is that all there is?
342
00:21:03,347 --> 00:21:06,517
Is that all there is?
343
00:21:06,517 --> 00:21:09,478
If that's all there is, my friends
344
00:21:09,478 --> 00:21:12,481
Then let's keep dancing
345
00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:15,567
That's a perfect key. Thank you.
346
00:21:16,652 --> 00:21:19,112
Okay. So, then my ball comes down.
347
00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:21,198
Did I tell you I'm sitting astride
a giant beach ball?
348
00:21:21,198 --> 00:21:22,783
- Far out.
- Yes.
349
00:21:22,783 --> 00:21:24,243
Okay.
350
00:21:25,244 --> 00:21:29,331
Showgirls cross,
kelp wipes, lower down the seahorses.
351
00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:31,458
Oh, Mitzi!
This is when you push out my stairs.
352
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:34,628
And when you do that,
I want you to grapevine, okay?
353
00:21:34,628 --> 00:21:36,296
Off stage left.
And make sure you grapevine.
354
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:37,798
I don't want you shuffling off to Buffalo.
355
00:21:38,382 --> 00:21:40,592
Okay, then I descend.
356
00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:44,596
Hold for applause. Thank you.
357
00:21:45,264 --> 00:21:47,724
And then bubbles. Bubbles everywhere.
It starts raining bubbles.
358
00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:51,895
Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles.
That's my cue for my speech.
359
00:21:53,188 --> 00:21:54,648
"Thank you everyone. Thank you.
360
00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:58,569
You might be asking yourselves,
'Who is Maxine Dellacorte?' Am I right?"
361
00:21:58,569 --> 00:22:00,279
And I was thinking maybe for this part,
362
00:22:00,279 --> 00:22:03,282
I'd sit at the end of the stage,
make it more intimate.
363
00:22:03,282 --> 00:22:04,366
Is that too much?
364
00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:05,617
Maybe a little too much.
365
00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:07,286
I appreciate your honesty.
366
00:22:07,870 --> 00:22:08,954
Okay.
367
00:22:08,954 --> 00:22:12,332
"Well, the answer is simple.
She's just a girl really.
368
00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:14,334
A simple orphan girl from Tennessee."
369
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:15,878
Wait a minute. You're from Tennessee?
370
00:22:16,837 --> 00:22:17,880
Yeah. Chattanooga.
371
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,923
Get out of town. Johnson City.
372
00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:22,551
- You're joshing me.
- No, ma'am.
373
00:22:23,302 --> 00:22:25,012
I don't detect an accent.
374
00:22:25,012 --> 00:22:26,346
I moved around a lot.
375
00:22:26,847 --> 00:22:28,348
Are you really an orphan?
376
00:22:30,225 --> 00:22:31,185
Yes.
377
00:22:31,185 --> 00:22:33,020
My parents left me in a washbasin
378
00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:35,355
on the stoop of an orphanage
when I was six months old.
379
00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:37,858
- I'm sorry about that.
- It happens.
380
00:22:37,858 --> 00:22:40,944
- I was a foster kid myself.
- Now you're just yanking my beehive.
381
00:22:41,570 --> 00:22:42,696
I'm not, I swear.
382
00:22:42,696 --> 00:22:44,156
Well, look at you now.
383
00:22:44,156 --> 00:22:47,659
You went from foster child
to America's space hero.
384
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:51,246
And look at you. Born in
a washbasin to socialite of the year.
385
00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:53,832
I don't think I was actually born
in the washbasin, but you never know.
386
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:56,793
Still.
You're America's sweetheart, aren't you?
387
00:22:58,587 --> 00:22:59,796
Let's take five, everybody.
388
00:23:00,339 --> 00:23:01,340
Thank you, five.
389
00:23:03,926 --> 00:23:04,927
Douglas?
390
00:23:06,345 --> 00:23:08,055
I don't like that guy.
391
00:23:08,055 --> 00:23:10,307
Astronaut Herkimer? But he's harmless.
392
00:23:10,307 --> 00:23:11,850
You're too naive, Maxine.
393
00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:14,561
You don't see what's right in front of
your face sometimes.
394
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:18,774
I know astronauts.
I was a pilot, remember?
395
00:23:18,774 --> 00:23:20,067
Afternoon.
396
00:23:21,401 --> 00:23:22,986
What are you doing here?
397
00:23:22,986 --> 00:23:24,821
Oh, Sergeant Sanka.
398
00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:27,574
To what do we owe the--
this afternoon pleasure?
399
00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:30,827
I'd like to introduce you to Agent Clune...
400
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:35,290
and Agent Stevens.
401
00:23:37,876 --> 00:23:39,253
Well, hi, FBI.
402
00:23:39,253 --> 00:23:40,587
Secret Service.
403
00:23:42,631 --> 00:23:45,551
President Nixon has accepted
your invitation, ma'am.
404
00:23:45,551 --> 00:23:46,802
He'll be attending your party.
405
00:23:46,802 --> 00:23:48,554
Nix-- What?
406
00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:51,431
Oh, my. Oh, m-- I'm gonna plotz.
407
00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:54,268
He wants to congratulate
Astronaut Herkimer
408
00:23:54,268 --> 00:23:56,770
on his extraordinary act of bravery.
409
00:23:56,770 --> 00:23:58,438
He's a true American hero.
410
00:23:59,982 --> 00:24:01,108
What's all the hullabaloo?
411
00:24:01,108 --> 00:24:03,944
The president is coming.
He wants to meet us.
412
00:24:03,944 --> 00:24:06,154
- Us!
- Gee willikers.
413
00:24:06,154 --> 00:24:08,365
- He's coming to the party.
-"Gee willikers."
414
00:24:08,365 --> 00:24:10,367
Come here! Oh, my Go--
415
00:24:11,118 --> 00:24:13,704
At precisely 9:00 p.m.,
the president will arrive.
416
00:24:14,454 --> 00:24:17,708
He'll say a few words
about American exceptionalism
417
00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:20,878
as personified by Astronaut Herkimer and...
418
00:24:21,753 --> 00:24:22,838
Maxine Dellacorte.
419
00:24:22,838 --> 00:24:26,091
At 9:10, you'll pose with the president
for an official photo.
420
00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:29,595
No touching.
At 9:13, the president will depart.
421
00:24:29,595 --> 00:24:31,889
Oh, well, he might want to stick around
for my musical number.
422
00:24:31,889 --> 00:24:34,892
We saw the cottage cheese
on the way in. Nice touch.
423
00:24:34,892 --> 00:24:36,602
The president's favorite food.
424
00:24:36,602 --> 00:24:38,145
Everything's coming up Nixon.
425
00:24:38,145 --> 00:24:41,106
Major Herkimer
already has security clearance.
426
00:24:41,106 --> 00:24:44,151
But you two... We have some issues.
427
00:24:44,860 --> 00:24:46,695
A folder. How official.
428
00:24:46,695 --> 00:24:49,156
We were hoping you could help us
clear this up.
429
00:24:50,949 --> 00:24:52,951
This is your John Hancock, correct?
430
00:24:52,951 --> 00:24:54,244
Yes. What is this?
431
00:24:54,244 --> 00:24:56,997
It's a petition from a radical
feminist organization
432
00:24:56,997 --> 00:24:59,666
that says
you support the president being ejected
433
00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:02,794
from office for warmongering
and general evil doing.
434
00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:05,339
Trust me.
I had no idea what I was signing.
435
00:25:05,339 --> 00:25:07,007
- Not much of a reader?
- No.
436
00:25:07,508 --> 00:25:11,345
But I can assure you,
I am not now, nor have I ever been,
437
00:25:11,345 --> 00:25:13,847
nor will I ever be, a feminist.
438
00:25:15,182 --> 00:25:17,684
That paper is-- It's harmless.
439
00:25:19,144 --> 00:25:21,730
Just like those ladies
reeking of patchouli
440
00:25:21,730 --> 00:25:24,733
sitting across the street
on a bunch of corduroy beanbags.
441
00:25:24,733 --> 00:25:25,943
Across the street?
442
00:25:25,943 --> 00:25:28,820
They've absolutely infested
the Rollins Mansion.
443
00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:29,988
Evelyn is beside herself.
444
00:25:29,988 --> 00:25:31,323
Who's Evelyn?
445
00:25:31,323 --> 00:25:33,742
- She's my best friend from the club.
- She's a pain in the ass.
446
00:25:36,745 --> 00:25:38,664
I guess you got your promotion.
447
00:25:39,414 --> 00:25:42,918
I'll be working the party
as the local law enforcement liaison.
448
00:25:42,918 --> 00:25:46,839
All you had to do was sell out a bar
filled with men just like you.
449
00:25:51,885 --> 00:25:53,136
I'm sure you're a saint.
450
00:25:54,429 --> 00:25:57,432
Your lifestyle has never
caused anybody else any problems.
451
00:26:04,189 --> 00:26:06,233
Most days, I love my job.
452
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:08,694
Some days, I don't.
453
00:26:08,694 --> 00:26:12,322
We both know
there is a right and a wrong time
454
00:26:12,322 --> 00:26:13,407
to open your mouth.
455
00:26:17,619 --> 00:26:18,537
Well,
456
00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:22,040
now that we know my wife's
not gonna set her bra on fire,
457
00:26:22,958 --> 00:26:24,126
we done here, fellas?
458
00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:25,210
Not quite.
459
00:26:26,461 --> 00:26:29,089
Your wife's not the only one
with a black mark on her record.
460
00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:35,929
If this is about
that Perry Donahue business,
461
00:26:35,929 --> 00:26:37,639
that has all been sorted.
462
00:26:37,639 --> 00:26:38,807
That may be,
463
00:26:38,807 --> 00:26:41,310
but we're referring to this charge
for gross indecency
464
00:26:41,310 --> 00:26:44,479
and homosexual solicitation
with a Mr. Diaz.
465
00:26:45,022 --> 00:26:47,232
- What in the darn tootin'?
- How do you know about that?
466
00:26:47,232 --> 00:26:48,984
- That just happened.
- Douglas!
467
00:26:48,984 --> 00:26:52,571
We're the Secret Service, sir.
It's our job to know the secrets.
468
00:26:52,571 --> 00:26:54,656
Douglas, what are they talking about?
469
00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:57,117
It's just a big misunderstanding, Max.
470
00:26:59,161 --> 00:27:03,874
See? Just a big misunderstanding.
That's all.
471
00:27:04,917 --> 00:27:07,085
This doesn't mean
the president's not coming now, is it?
472
00:27:08,212 --> 00:27:09,213
If it were up to me,
473
00:27:09,922 --> 00:27:12,508
I wouldn't let the president near
this house of crooks,
474
00:27:13,759 --> 00:27:15,844
but he really wants to meet the astronaut.
475
00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:23,310
An astronaut? Of course Maxine
found a way to upstage my engagement.
476
00:27:23,310 --> 00:27:26,188
I honestly don't see
what's so special about her.
477
00:27:26,188 --> 00:27:28,315
She does have a very nice house.
478
00:27:28,315 --> 00:27:30,234
That astronaut though--
479
00:27:31,151 --> 00:27:32,861
I would like to measure his inseam.
480
00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:34,655
Here, darling. Try this one.
481
00:27:34,655 --> 00:27:37,574
Grayman, I thought this was for Evelyn.
482
00:27:38,158 --> 00:27:40,953
Rumor has she can't afford it.
483
00:27:40,953 --> 00:27:43,580
And congratulations are in order.
484
00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:45,624
It's so strange.
485
00:27:45,624 --> 00:27:48,836
I'm about to become a young trophy wife
to a fabulously rich man.
486
00:27:48,836 --> 00:27:50,128
I should be happier.
487
00:27:50,838 --> 00:27:54,091
- But Axel confessed some disturbing news.
- Not diseased?
488
00:27:54,091 --> 00:27:57,302
Worse. A democrat.
He was Humphrey's biggest donor.
489
00:27:57,302 --> 00:27:59,555
Oh, darling. There are worse things.
490
00:28:00,597 --> 00:28:03,141
Just the woman I wanted to see.
Dinah, where are you?
491
00:28:03,141 --> 00:28:04,726
- Over there.
- Come.
492
00:28:05,561 --> 00:28:06,645
Yes, madam.
493
00:28:07,604 --> 00:28:08,897
Thank you so much.
494
00:28:09,690 --> 00:28:12,359
Gentlemen, have a fine day.
495
00:28:13,068 --> 00:28:14,069
Drive safely.
496
00:28:19,324 --> 00:28:23,161
What in the fires of hell's pits
is going on here?
497
00:28:23,161 --> 00:28:26,915
I'm hanging on for dear life
to a splinter of driftwood,
498
00:28:26,915 --> 00:28:31,211
and my husband and friend
are caught gay soliciting at a bar?
499
00:28:31,211 --> 00:28:33,046
And you told me Douglas wasn't your type.
500
00:28:34,006 --> 00:28:35,007
I'm not?
501
00:28:35,716 --> 00:28:36,550
Of course not.
502
00:28:36,550 --> 00:28:39,052
And that's not
what we were doing together, Maxine.
503
00:28:39,052 --> 00:28:41,263
Okay. Well, what were you doing together?
504
00:28:43,015 --> 00:28:44,099
Answer me!
505
00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:48,896
Well, he wanted to talk to me and--
but he didn't know I was in a gay bar.
506
00:28:48,896 --> 00:28:52,482
So I mean, we--
507
00:28:52,482 --> 00:28:55,861
Were planning a surprise for you.
For the Beach Ball.
508
00:28:56,570 --> 00:28:57,654
There you go.
509
00:29:02,075 --> 00:29:03,535
You were thinking about me the whole time?
510
00:29:03,535 --> 00:29:05,245
You were the topic of conversation
511
00:29:05,245 --> 00:29:06,830
the entire night, Max.
512
00:29:07,414 --> 00:29:08,415
Isn't that right, Robby?
513
00:29:08,957 --> 00:29:10,417
Robert. Right.
514
00:29:10,417 --> 00:29:12,336
I'm so sorry I ever doubted you.
515
00:29:13,795 --> 00:29:15,881
I don't wanna cry and mess up my makeup.
516
00:29:16,673 --> 00:29:19,384
Gotta go deal with those vultures
at Ceil Chapman who left me to drown.
517
00:29:19,885 --> 00:29:21,011
Well, you look beautiful, Max.
518
00:29:21,011 --> 00:29:22,262
Excuse me.
519
00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:33,232
Thanks.
520
00:29:33,232 --> 00:29:35,651
I thought you were gonna rat me out there
for a minute.
521
00:29:35,651 --> 00:29:37,819
You better find a damn good surprise
for my friend.
522
00:29:37,819 --> 00:29:38,737
Yeah.
523
00:29:39,321 --> 00:29:40,948
- Nice dress.
- You didn't come here
524
00:29:40,948 --> 00:29:42,574
- to talk about my dress.
- No.
525
00:29:42,574 --> 00:29:44,952
- What do you want?
- Just a little dating advice.
526
00:29:44,952 --> 00:29:47,871
I'm new to the scene,
and you're clearly very successful.
527
00:29:48,539 --> 00:29:53,210
A little birdie told me you were dating
a sexy tennis pro on the side.
528
00:29:53,210 --> 00:29:55,754
Was that little birdie named Maxine?
529
00:29:55,754 --> 00:29:57,381
Maybe. Yes.
530
00:29:57,381 --> 00:30:02,094
If you must know,
unfortunately, it is over between us.
531
00:30:02,094 --> 00:30:04,388
I was only marrying Axel
to maintain Eddie.
532
00:30:04,388 --> 00:30:06,890
You have no idea how expensive a lover is.
533
00:30:09,059 --> 00:30:11,478
Ladies! I have an announcement.
534
00:30:13,689 --> 00:30:17,776
I know. Yes. Surprised to see me,
considering you left me for dead.
535
00:30:18,402 --> 00:30:21,363
But the lemons you gave me
have turned into lemonade,
536
00:30:21,363 --> 00:30:24,199
because the president,
Mr. Richard Milhous Nixon,
537
00:30:24,199 --> 00:30:26,285
is coming to the Beach Ball.
538
00:30:27,035 --> 00:30:29,204
President Nixon is coming to your party?
539
00:30:29,204 --> 00:30:32,499
He wants to meet the astronaut, yes.
And me.
540
00:30:32,499 --> 00:30:34,418
Astounding.
541
00:30:36,879 --> 00:30:39,631
Should we really be clapping?
542
00:30:40,632 --> 00:30:44,511
Nixon's bad, right? He's a bad person.
543
00:30:44,511 --> 00:30:46,471
Mary, you have a shoelace
544
00:30:46,471 --> 00:30:47,848
tied around your brain.
545
00:30:47,848 --> 00:30:51,268
He's killing innocent people, Evelyn.
546
00:30:51,268 --> 00:30:54,479
Let's leave politics at party's door,
shall we?
547
00:30:54,479 --> 00:30:56,315
We're all American patriots, yes?
548
00:30:56,315 --> 00:30:59,318
Let me fetch your dress.
It is exceptional.
549
00:30:59,902 --> 00:31:01,028
Just like you.
550
00:31:04,531 --> 00:31:06,617
Maxine, a word.
551
00:31:13,498 --> 00:31:14,833
We need to talk turkey.
552
00:31:14,833 --> 00:31:16,335
I'm so happy to hear you say that.
553
00:31:16,335 --> 00:31:19,004
I have had a few catering kerfuffles
at my house in the past few days.
554
00:31:19,004 --> 00:31:20,589
I've taken on a lover...
555
00:31:21,798 --> 00:31:24,718
and he doesn't know I'm homeless
or penniless.
556
00:31:25,260 --> 00:31:27,471
But I've decided I want to keep him.
557
00:31:27,471 --> 00:31:28,847
Maxine,
558
00:31:30,140 --> 00:31:32,434
I learned something about myself
559
00:31:32,434 --> 00:31:35,020
the night I stared into that whale's
bulbous pupil.
560
00:31:35,020 --> 00:31:36,563
It's so funny you should say that.
561
00:31:36,563 --> 00:31:38,815
I learned something too
at my all-night sojourn at sea.
562
00:31:39,316 --> 00:31:40,734
Let's say what we learned on three. One--
563
00:31:40,734 --> 00:31:43,237
I should be throwing the Beach Ball.
564
00:31:46,365 --> 00:31:50,619
Well, as much as I respect
your sea change...
565
00:31:52,538 --> 00:31:53,622
over my dead body.
566
00:31:54,122 --> 00:31:59,253
I would be willing to co-host
as per our original arrangement.
567
00:31:59,253 --> 00:32:01,046
For half the proceeds, of course.
568
00:32:01,964 --> 00:32:03,215
Well, what if I refuse?
569
00:32:03,215 --> 00:32:05,133
Well, then I'll just call in a bomb threat
570
00:32:05,133 --> 00:32:08,720
and little Dicky Nix won't go
to Maxine's party-warty.
571
00:32:10,389 --> 00:32:11,390
You wouldn't.
572
00:32:11,390 --> 00:32:12,641
Try me.
573
00:32:13,308 --> 00:32:16,812
I used to be a showgirl, sweetie.
We're made of grit and greasepaint.
574
00:32:17,479 --> 00:32:20,065
Did you enjoy the Boone's Farm
and cottage cheese?
575
00:32:20,899 --> 00:32:22,526
Who do you think phoned in those orders?
576
00:32:22,526 --> 00:32:24,152
Well, it looks like the joke's on you
577
00:32:24,152 --> 00:32:26,613
because the president
happens to love cottage cheese.
578
00:32:26,613 --> 00:32:29,867
I can't wait to watch him eat it
at our party.
579
00:32:31,785 --> 00:32:34,997
Grayman, have Dinah take off my custom
580
00:32:34,997 --> 00:32:36,915
and charge it
to Mrs. Dellacorte's account.
581
00:32:36,915 --> 00:32:38,250
We've come to an agreement.
582
00:32:42,421 --> 00:32:44,548
- Hands up. This is a raid.
- Everybody, stay where you are.
583
00:32:44,548 --> 00:32:46,049
You have the right to remain silent.
584
00:32:46,049 --> 00:32:49,428
Anything you say can be used against you
in a court of law.
585
00:32:49,428 --> 00:32:50,470
Who sent you?
586
00:32:50,470 --> 00:32:52,806
You're under arrest for threats
against the president...
587
00:32:52,806 --> 00:32:54,766
- Let's go.
- ...and aiding and abetting draft dodging.
588
00:32:55,809 --> 00:32:56,810
Watch your head.
589
00:33:10,282 --> 00:33:11,283
Hi.
590
00:33:11,283 --> 00:33:12,451
Hey.
591
00:33:13,076 --> 00:33:15,412
Gimlet? Keep it simple?
592
00:33:16,079 --> 00:33:17,080
Hey.
593
00:33:19,208 --> 00:33:20,209
You left your room.
594
00:33:20,209 --> 00:33:23,545
I'm leaving the country.
I'm gonna go to an ashram.
595
00:33:24,129 --> 00:33:25,047
For how long?
596
00:33:25,047 --> 00:33:28,509
A year, maybe more.
So I wanted to say goodbye.
597
00:33:32,679 --> 00:33:33,680
Why?
598
00:33:36,058 --> 00:33:38,644
I am officially kind of a mess.
599
00:33:39,895 --> 00:33:40,896
I'm gonna miss you.
600
00:33:42,689 --> 00:33:44,024
Well, then come with me.
601
00:33:44,525 --> 00:33:47,486
- What are you talking about?
- Leave all this bullshit.
602
00:33:47,486 --> 00:33:50,447
- Oh, come on, Linda.
- Robert, seriously.
603
00:33:51,448 --> 00:33:53,659
Go where you can be yourself.
604
00:33:53,659 --> 00:33:55,536
Go to New York City.
605
00:33:57,538 --> 00:34:00,582
The riots at Stonewall
are gonna change everything.
606
00:34:03,335 --> 00:34:04,378
I can't leave Norma.
607
00:34:04,378 --> 00:34:06,421
Doug and Maxine have that covered.
608
00:34:06,421 --> 00:34:08,757
You know it's my fault
she's like this, right?
609
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,469
No, you don't know.
And now I need a drink.
610
00:34:14,679 --> 00:34:15,681
Well...
611
00:34:20,476 --> 00:34:21,728
I haven't told anyone.
612
00:34:24,438 --> 00:34:26,024
But the night she almost died,
613
00:34:26,024 --> 00:34:28,527
I had a date,
614
00:34:28,527 --> 00:34:31,737
and she didn't want me to go,
615
00:34:31,737 --> 00:34:34,616
and we fought, and we fought bad.
616
00:34:34,616 --> 00:34:35,701
I was angry.
617
00:34:35,701 --> 00:34:38,661
I left and I did it on purpose.
I wanted to punish her.
618
00:34:39,871 --> 00:34:42,456
And when I came back,
she was laying on the floor.
619
00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:46,920
She had tried to give herself a shot,
620
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,630
and apparently there was
an air bubble in her insulin.
621
00:34:50,215 --> 00:34:52,301
I didn't even know she was diabetic.
622
00:34:52,301 --> 00:34:55,971
No, no one knew. She doesn't want
anyone to know she's weak.
623
00:34:57,054 --> 00:35:00,100
Robert. Don't do that to yourself.
624
00:35:01,435 --> 00:35:03,353
Don't do what I did with my dad.
625
00:35:04,188 --> 00:35:06,023
Just let go of the guilt.
626
00:35:06,690 --> 00:35:09,234
Linda, I don't like the outside world
like you do.
627
00:35:09,735 --> 00:35:15,324
I just want a simple,
kind of protected, safe life
628
00:35:16,408 --> 00:35:17,993
and she's offered me one.
629
00:35:17,993 --> 00:35:20,037
It's beautiful in Palm Beach.
630
00:35:23,332 --> 00:35:26,710
And you think you feel safe here
with Norma.
631
00:35:29,671 --> 00:35:31,882
But this town's all about hiding,
632
00:35:32,758 --> 00:35:34,676
and the hiding doesn't make you safer.
633
00:35:36,887 --> 00:35:41,225
The outside world
always has a way of finding us.
634
00:35:46,396 --> 00:35:47,397
Until it does.
635
00:35:47,940 --> 00:35:49,149
Until it does.
636
00:35:58,075 --> 00:36:01,495
Mi amor,
congratulations on your president.
637
00:36:01,495 --> 00:36:03,121
Thank you, Raquel.
638
00:36:03,121 --> 00:36:05,249
Maybe he'll be the first member
at the new club.
639
00:36:05,958 --> 00:36:07,584
- Beg pardon?
- Didn't you hear?
640
00:36:07,584 --> 00:36:09,586
Douglas and Pinky are building
a brand-new club.
641
00:36:09,586 --> 00:36:13,549
It's gonna be bigger and better
than the crusty old Palm Royale.
642
00:36:14,132 --> 00:36:15,342
Wait, what new club?
643
00:36:15,342 --> 00:36:17,219
The new club that's gonna be
at your house.
644
00:36:17,219 --> 00:36:18,262
My house?
645
00:36:18,262 --> 00:36:20,472
Your house. Norma's house. Doug's house.
646
00:36:20,472 --> 00:36:23,892
What's in a name? It's our house now.
647
00:36:26,395 --> 00:36:27,771
What are you talking about?
648
00:36:27,771 --> 00:36:28,897
Douglas!
649
00:36:31,859 --> 00:36:33,318
There she is.
650
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,949
You didn't give away our house
without talking to me about it first,
651
00:36:38,949 --> 00:36:40,325
did you?
652
00:36:41,076 --> 00:36:44,162
- Honey--
- No, no, no. Don't you "honey" me.
653
00:36:44,162 --> 00:36:45,247
Did you?
654
00:36:46,665 --> 00:36:48,333
I was going to tell you about it
655
00:36:48,333 --> 00:36:49,793
but then you went overboard.
656
00:36:49,793 --> 00:36:52,671
Don't you dare put this on me.
657
00:36:53,881 --> 00:36:56,091
I can't believe I thought
this time was gonna be different.
658
00:36:57,176 --> 00:36:59,052
You fuck up. I clean up.
659
00:36:59,052 --> 00:37:01,555
We move and start all over.
660
00:37:01,555 --> 00:37:04,183
I actually thought
if I gave you all of this
661
00:37:04,183 --> 00:37:05,893
then maybe you'd change.
662
00:37:05,893 --> 00:37:07,811
Max, I'm trying to not fuck up.
663
00:37:07,811 --> 00:37:10,898
I did this for us.
664
00:37:10,898 --> 00:37:11,982
It doesn't feel like it.
665
00:37:13,108 --> 00:37:17,029
Honey, you deserve to be
queen of Palm Beach.
666
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:19,656
Queen of Palm Beach?
667
00:37:20,949 --> 00:37:24,161
Says the man who made sure
I wasn't Miss Chattanooga.
668
00:37:44,556 --> 00:37:46,725
Hi, Mary. Where is everybody?
669
00:37:47,267 --> 00:37:48,685
They took them to jail.
670
00:37:49,353 --> 00:37:51,563
They rounded them up in a paddy wagon.
671
00:37:51,563 --> 00:37:53,023
Those bastards.
672
00:37:53,607 --> 00:37:56,818
Do you know why they call it
a paddy wagon?
673
00:37:57,611 --> 00:38:00,572
Because it's padded.
674
00:38:00,572 --> 00:38:02,616
I don't think that's the reason.
675
00:38:02,616 --> 00:38:04,409
No, I know this van.
676
00:38:06,453 --> 00:38:09,998
My husband, David Davidsoul,
put me in one of those
677
00:38:09,998 --> 00:38:11,875
a couple of times a year.
678
00:38:11,875 --> 00:38:14,419
Oh, yes.
If I even made a noise in the house,
679
00:38:14,419 --> 00:38:16,547
David would call the paddy wagon.
680
00:38:17,172 --> 00:38:20,092
And this is all Richard Nixon's fault.
681
00:38:20,092 --> 00:38:21,426
I'm not following.
682
00:38:21,426 --> 00:38:25,514
If Nixon wasn't coming to Maxine's party,
683
00:38:25,514 --> 00:38:30,602
the secret service wouldn't have
rounded up our lady warriors--
684
00:38:30,602 --> 00:38:32,980
- We could have protested.
- We could have killed him.
685
00:38:32,980 --> 00:38:34,064
What?
686
00:38:34,064 --> 00:38:35,357
Killed him.
687
00:38:37,651 --> 00:38:38,986
And we still can.
688
00:38:40,612 --> 00:38:41,905
Wow, Mary.
689
00:38:41,905 --> 00:38:47,661
Didn't you say that he was responsible
for the deaths of thousands?
690
00:38:48,203 --> 00:38:50,664
I'm sure your heart's in the right place.
But trust me,
691
00:38:50,664 --> 00:38:56,378
you do not want to be the woman
seen as crazy in this town.
692
00:38:56,378 --> 00:38:59,423
You will lose the only power you have.
693
00:38:59,923 --> 00:39:02,092
You're sounding very patriarchal.
694
00:39:02,092 --> 00:39:03,635
I'm not trying to oppress you.
695
00:39:06,305 --> 00:39:08,640
Obviously, you're not thinking clearly
right now.
696
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:12,477
For the first time in my life,
I am entirely clear-headed.
697
00:39:16,523 --> 00:39:19,526
Well, I don't wanna have to call the cops.
698
00:39:21,153 --> 00:39:22,196
Neither do I...
699
00:39:25,324 --> 00:39:28,410
want you to call the cops.
700
00:39:28,410 --> 00:39:30,370
So, you're not gonna do anything rash.
701
00:39:33,665 --> 00:39:34,666
Right.
702
00:39:34,666 --> 00:39:35,751
Promise?
703
00:39:36,376 --> 00:39:37,377
Of course.
704
00:39:38,837 --> 00:39:41,632
I think the season has gotten to me.
705
00:39:44,676 --> 00:39:46,220
Maybe I need a little vacation.
706
00:39:47,554 --> 00:39:49,640
Perhaps I'll visit Panama.
707
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,683
- Or Peru.
- Sure.
708
00:39:51,683 --> 00:39:52,768
Okay, Mary.
709
00:39:54,978 --> 00:39:57,022
I'm sorry, Linda. I am so sorry.
710
00:40:17,167 --> 00:40:19,419
I hope it's okay
I got here a little early.
711
00:40:19,419 --> 00:40:21,213
Just wanted to go over it one more time.
712
00:40:22,256 --> 00:40:24,675
I get nervous, well, before anything.
713
00:40:26,969 --> 00:40:28,512
Really? You?
714
00:40:30,013 --> 00:40:32,432
I wish there was a term
for always feeling like an impostor.
715
00:40:34,893 --> 00:40:36,478
Seem pretty straightforward to me.
716
00:40:45,863 --> 00:40:48,532
I remember when I was a little boy,
staring up at the moon.
717
00:40:50,742 --> 00:40:53,078
I stood in the yard,
shivering in my pajamas.
718
00:40:54,246 --> 00:40:55,789
Is that a woman's face I see?
719
00:40:56,707 --> 00:40:58,041
Or is it made of cheese?
720
00:40:58,876 --> 00:41:03,005
And I thought to myself,
"Is that all there is to a moon?"
721
00:41:06,091 --> 00:41:07,176
You're funny.
722
00:41:08,218 --> 00:41:09,219
You're sweet.
723
00:41:14,474 --> 00:41:15,767
I love the piano.
724
00:41:16,727 --> 00:41:20,063
I always wanted to play it in pageants,
you know, for the talent portion.
725
00:41:21,607 --> 00:41:24,484
But I learned how to escape instead.
726
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:26,486
I'm sure you're great.
727
00:41:28,030 --> 00:41:29,364
Maybe you just need the right teacher.
728
00:41:29,865 --> 00:41:32,492
Here. Come on, play.
Come on, play with me.
729
00:41:37,873 --> 00:41:38,999
Yeah.
730
00:41:42,211 --> 00:41:43,295
Okay.
731
00:41:43,295 --> 00:41:44,254
Yeah.
732
00:41:52,638 --> 00:41:54,014
See, you're great. You don't need me.
733
00:42:21,416 --> 00:42:24,336
I'm sorry. Did I read the signals wrong?
734
00:42:28,465 --> 00:42:29,466
Signals?
735
00:42:31,051 --> 00:42:32,052
My hero.
736
00:42:33,262 --> 00:42:34,596
The invitation.
737
00:42:34,596 --> 00:42:35,681
I mean, this song.
738
00:42:36,723 --> 00:42:38,642
Isn't this a metaphor
for your dying marriage?
739
00:42:41,645 --> 00:42:44,356
This song is about accepting your fate
740
00:42:45,065 --> 00:42:46,191
for better or worse.
741
00:42:48,110 --> 00:42:50,153
Grant, I--
742
00:42:54,283 --> 00:42:55,284
I love my husband.
743
00:43:07,087 --> 00:43:08,422
Where you going?
744
00:43:12,301 --> 00:43:13,427
I need some fresh air.
745
00:43:40,913 --> 00:43:41,914
Hi.
746
00:43:42,998 --> 00:43:44,249
Hi.
747
00:43:45,167 --> 00:43:46,168
You're leaving?
748
00:43:46,668 --> 00:43:47,669
Yeah.
749
00:43:51,507 --> 00:43:52,466
Look, I--
750
00:43:53,884 --> 00:43:56,845
I used to be a secret too with Skeet.
751
00:43:57,596 --> 00:43:59,389
He didn't want anyone to see me.
752
00:44:00,015 --> 00:44:06,438
But now I think I kind of
want people to see me with you.
753
00:44:07,731 --> 00:44:13,278
I-- Hell. I'm not very good at this.
754
00:44:14,571 --> 00:44:16,073
Do you wanna go to a party?
755
00:44:16,907 --> 00:44:17,908
Yeah.
756
00:44:21,119 --> 00:44:23,372
Ms. Holiday. You're okay.
757
00:44:24,248 --> 00:44:26,166
Where am I? What happened?
758
00:44:26,166 --> 00:44:28,126
We need to check your pancreas.
759
00:44:28,126 --> 00:44:29,503
There could be a tumor.
760
00:44:30,087 --> 00:44:31,964
Your body was flooded with insulin.
761
00:44:31,964 --> 00:44:33,674
There's no fucking tumor.
762
00:44:34,591 --> 00:44:37,052
Ms. Holiday, you're lucky to be alive.
763
00:44:37,052 --> 00:44:39,096
- Here. Hold that.
- Ma'am.
764
00:44:39,805 --> 00:44:41,014
Ma'am. You're still hooked.
765
00:44:41,014 --> 00:44:44,101
Get these damn things off.
I'm on deadline.
766
00:44:44,101 --> 00:44:47,104
I gotta put my pants on. Oh, my gosh.
767
00:44:51,775 --> 00:44:53,861
Here. Let me help you with that.
768
00:45:04,997 --> 00:45:07,124
You know why sometimes it's so hard
for me to see
769
00:45:07,124 --> 00:45:08,709
what's right in front of my face?
770
00:45:12,337 --> 00:45:15,299
Because for years, all I would see
when I'd look in the mirror
771
00:45:15,299 --> 00:45:18,802
was a girl that nobody loved enough
not to leave her behind.
772
00:45:21,638 --> 00:45:23,182
I love you, Max.
773
00:45:25,434 --> 00:45:29,938
From the minute I first saw you,
I knew you were a star.
774
00:45:33,442 --> 00:45:35,194
I'm the one who couldn't keep up.
775
00:45:36,820 --> 00:45:37,654
For 20 years,
776
00:45:37,654 --> 00:45:39,656
I've been waiting for you
to figure that out.
777
00:45:42,910 --> 00:45:44,578
You're right. I've been selfish.
778
00:45:45,954 --> 00:45:47,664
I should have told you about Pinky.
779
00:45:48,874 --> 00:45:50,626
I was just trying to make good.
780
00:45:53,670 --> 00:45:54,671
Oh, well...
781
00:45:56,465 --> 00:45:59,051
Douglas, you are good.
782
00:46:00,761 --> 00:46:02,262
You are, and I love you,
783
00:46:02,262 --> 00:46:03,472
and you're everything to me.
784
00:46:04,890 --> 00:46:06,266
And I need you to know that.
785
00:46:25,994 --> 00:46:27,496
Is there something else
you're not telling me?
786
00:46:31,792 --> 00:46:33,210
I didn't sign our house away.
787
00:46:34,503 --> 00:46:35,504
Really?
788
00:46:37,589 --> 00:46:38,549
Thank God.
789
00:46:38,549 --> 00:46:40,425
You're the only one who can do that.
790
00:46:41,510 --> 00:46:43,136
You're Norma's conservator.
791
00:46:45,514 --> 00:46:48,100
I can't do anything without you.
792
00:46:56,191 --> 00:46:58,193
Let's not talk about this tonight, okay?
793
00:46:58,861 --> 00:46:59,903
Let's pick it up tomorrow.
794
00:47:07,452 --> 00:47:08,704
What's that?
795
00:47:10,831 --> 00:47:14,585
This is something I should have given you
in Chattanooga 20 years ago.
796
00:47:23,010 --> 00:47:24,052
Oh, Douglas.
797
00:47:28,098 --> 00:47:29,474
There's my queen.
798
00:47:33,645 --> 00:47:36,523
It's beautiful. Oh, Douglas.
799
00:47:40,819 --> 00:47:42,196
Guests will be arriving soon.
800
00:47:57,252 --> 00:47:58,420
I love you, Max.
801
00:48:19,566 --> 00:48:20,567
Hello, Robert.
802
00:48:22,027 --> 00:48:23,111
Norma, you're standing.
803
00:48:24,238 --> 00:48:25,239
Tell no one.
804
00:48:26,490 --> 00:48:29,910
I have a little something special planned
for the ball tonight.
805
00:48:31,286 --> 00:48:32,204
What are you planning?
806
00:48:32,788 --> 00:48:34,081
In good time, my boy.
807
00:48:39,419 --> 00:48:40,629
In good time.