1 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:14,723 [man narrating] There was once a beautiful kingdom. 2 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:17,601 Not everything was perfect. 3 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,895 They were humans after all. 4 00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:24,525 But their king was kind and just. Their crops were bountiful. 5 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:27,861 The birds sang, the children laughed, 6 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,239 and the people were joyous. 7 00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:32,866 Until one day, 8 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:36,870 a strange darkness took hold. 9 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:41,166 A darkness that reached into the very hearts of the people 10 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,669 and swallowed their light 11 00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:48,841 until there was nothing left but despair. 12 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:55,138 The king vowed to dispel the darkness and save his people. 13 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,641 He learned of a weapon of immense power: 14 00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,018 The Blade of Light. 15 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:05,858 Legend foretold that only the sword could break the curse and bring the dawn. 16 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,360 But try as he might, 17 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:11,488 neither the king nor his men could retrieve the weapon, 18 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:15,617 for there was no spark of hope left in them. 19 00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:19,913 In desperation, a tournament was held 20 00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:23,292 to find a warrior worthy of claiming the blade. 21 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:26,003 The biggest, strongest and bravest warriors came 22 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,963 from every corner of the realm, 23 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:33,927 but it was the smallest of them all who was destined to prevail. 24 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,095 [snarls] 25 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:38,640 Though he was beaten, he did not break. 26 00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:42,769 Refusing to give in, he rose and rose and rose again, 27 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:46,982 fueled by a belief no blow could extinguish. 28 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:52,362 With each act of bravery, the people began to believe as well. 29 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,781 Until at last, they cheered his victory. 30 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,074 [cheering] 31 00:01:56,158 --> 00:02:00,537 The resilient champion had broken the curse and freed the sword. 32 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:04,541 And the people of the kingdom, young and old, learned that day 33 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:08,836 that to dispel the darkness, we must only believe 34 00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:11,423 in the light. 35 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,356 [elevator bell dings] 36 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:33,028 This is awesome. I love costume parties. 37 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:36,073 Oh, Everlight is more than just a party, Jo. 38 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:39,451 It's a holiday within our game that we also get to celebrate in our office. 39 00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:42,371 It's kinda like New Year's, but it's-- [scoffs] it's way better. 40 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,831 There's great food. There's a LARP fighting tournament. 41 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:45,958 "LARP"? What's "LARP"? 42 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,252 Live-action role-play. It's simulated battle. 43 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,295 You know, foam swords and things like that. 44 00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,506 And, uh, guess who won the tournament last year. 45 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,299 -Ian. -[scoffs] He wishes. 46 00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,260 -Lou? -Guess again. 47 00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,762 -Poppy. -Me, Jo. I won. 48 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,055 [scoffs] 49 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,682 Won the whole damn thing. 50 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:05,477 Cool. Head and groin shots legal, or are we doing some kindergarten bullshit? 51 00:03:05,561 --> 00:03:06,937 Jo, no. Look. 52 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:10,357 Ian wants our first official day back in the office to be about something special, 53 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,025 not about injuring people. 54 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,736 This day is about magic. 55 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:17,489 [chattering, laughter] 56 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,378 -Wow. -Yep. 57 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,630 Hear ye, hear ye! 58 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:37,259 Fall silent for your king and queen. 59 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:40,262 -My loyal subjects-- -Our. 60 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:45,517 Our loyal subjects, for too long have we been languishing in the dark. 61 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,478 Seriously, guys, this whole year has been pretty much shit. 62 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,855 [murmuring agreement] 63 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:53,483 -But today, I will find-- -We. 64 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,570 Today, we will find a champion 65 00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,990 -who will retrieve the Blade of Light. -[woman] Whoo! 66 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,241 And bring the new dawn! 67 00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:04,036 Today is Everlight. 68 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,829 [all] Huzzah! 69 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,956 At last, the night has ended. 70 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,126 And so a new day dawns! 71 00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:14,129 -Where is our master of ceremonies? -[device chimes] 72 00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:18,425 Is it on? Where is the volume? Oh, f-- 73 00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:22,346 C.W. Yes, thou art coming in loud and clear, bud. 74 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:26,016 Ah! Ah, yes. [chuckles] 75 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:30,395 The grand vizier is here, viziering from his home 76 00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:33,232 at the request of Her Majesty, the Overly Cautious. 77 00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:37,110 Well, we can't risk the life of a national treasure now, can we? 78 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:41,114 Well, our queen is wise and just. 79 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,992 His ego is a lot stronger than his immune system. 80 00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:46,161 Huzzah! 81 00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:50,040 A warm welcome to all who shall test their mettle. 82 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,836 If your sword arm is strong and your spirit true, 83 00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:58,715 then etch your name into the stone of the valiant. 84 00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,593 Also, please sign the waiver. 85 00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:04,596 Huzzah! Yes, but definitely, guys, sign that waiver. 86 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,683 Yes, we will not be liable for any injuries. [chuckles] 87 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:11,687 Waivers, come get your waivers, dorks. 88 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,313 Mmm. Mm-hmm. 89 00:05:13,397 --> 00:05:14,481 [Jo] Is Carol drunk? 90 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:18,443 Oh, that is not Carol. That is the Mistress of the Marsh. 91 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,612 See, everyone has a character. 92 00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:25,075 But, uh, yeah, her character really is hitting that sangria pretty hard. 93 00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,119 Uh, you know what? It's fine. 94 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:30,122 It's all part of the fun, 'cause no one is themselves today. 95 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,082 Oh, Brad. Why aren't you dressed up? 96 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,168 I am dressed up, for work. 97 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,254 -What are you supposed to be? -I am Albrecht the Pure. 98 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,506 -So, you're a virgin? -No, I'm not a-- 99 00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,092 -I thought this was a fantasy thing. -[chuckles] 100 00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:44,094 A thousand apologies, my liege. 101 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:45,721 Oh, God. 102 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:47,806 Haters gonna hate. 103 00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:51,435 [no audible dialogue] 104 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,398 [door opens] 105 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,567 Hey, Pop, what are you doing? We're about to start. 106 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:00,652 Yeah, I know. I'm lacing up my gear. 107 00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:03,280 What? No. You can't fight. You're a boss now. 108 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,781 Bosses don't fight. 109 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,409 Haven't you ever noticed how I'm never in the tournament? 110 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,870 'Cause you're scared you'll lose and look like an asshole. 111 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:13,582 I would literally beat the living shit out of every single person 112 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:16,335 that works in this office in hand-to-hand combat! 113 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:20,088 But I don't do it because Everlight is not about me. 114 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:23,050 Uh-huh, but you created it and made yourself king. 115 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,135 -Well, yeah. The story's gotta make sense. -Oh, God. 116 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,678 You know, I almost was a god, 117 00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:29,473 but then I thought king kinda worked better with the fantasy thing. 118 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:32,267 -But do you think god's better? -Whatever. I'm fighting. 119 00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:36,230 Look, dude, you can't fight. This is a holiday for them. 120 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:41,068 It's a chance for the entire staff to put last year behind them and start fresh. 121 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,822 "At last, the night has ended, and so the new day dawns." 122 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,951 Sure. Yeah, no, the reason you don't fight in the tournament 123 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:51,161 is because you care about staff morale 124 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:54,206 and not because you're worried you'll get hit by my fireball. 125 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,750 [groans] 126 00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:58,794 Yield. 127 00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:02,172 Okay, well, you got lucky. I wasn't warmed up. 128 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,632 Uh-huh. 129 00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:06,051 -Ow. -[sighs] 130 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:09,137 The king can't win. Nobody's gonna cheer for that. 131 00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,765 They want an underdog. They want Rudy. 132 00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:15,519 Rudy? Which department is he in? 133 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:19,940 Rudy doesn't work here. I'm talking about the movie, goddamn it. 134 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:26,321 The point is that the champion needs to be someone that you wouldn't expect. Look. 135 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,242 Weird Meg won a few years ago. 136 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,578 And you got Small Paul, 2018. 137 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:35,914 For the love of God, David was the champion last year. 138 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:38,834 -I can't believe anybody bought that. -[chuckles] Yeah. 139 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,169 Wait, wait. What do you mean? 140 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:45,048 I fix the fights. Every year, I pick the least-expected champion, 141 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,967 and then I engineer their victory, 142 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:50,888 thereby giving everybody else the hope that they could become champion too. 143 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,516 But they can't? 144 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,478 Of course they can't, but they believe that they can, 145 00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:00,397 and that's the magic of Everlight. 146 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,649 Okay, okay, I get it. 147 00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:04,943 And the reason that I've never been champion 148 00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:07,404 is because I'm not a massive loser. 149 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:09,406 -Yeah. -Yeah. 150 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:12,576 -Whatever you need. Right. -You're right. I shouldn't fight today. 151 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,204 I might accidentally win 'cause I'm so physically dominant. 152 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:17,873 It's happening. This is the magic that I'm talking about. 153 00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,792 You-- You believe that you could win something physical 154 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,629 when of course, you can't, but you believe that you can. 155 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:26,048 -Yeah, I'm like you now. -You're nothing like me. 156 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,383 Yeah, I'm like a female king. 157 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,886 That's a queen. 158 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,638 How hard did I hit you? 159 00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,972 [horn blows] 160 00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:40,102 Lords and ladies, gather round and screw your courage to the sticking place, 161 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:44,191 for the Tournament of the Dawn begins. 162 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:47,569 -First up, Tall-Paulious Aurelious… -[cheering] 163 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,989 -versus Evi the Forsaken. -[grunts] 164 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,451 -Impressive. -I trained long and hard for this. 165 00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:56,370 I wish only to honor this most sacred day. 166 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:59,414 Fighters ready? Begin! 167 00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:01,458 -[shouts] -[groans] 168 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,670 -Oh, shit. -[together] Oh, shit. 169 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,632 [groans] Oh, I'm dead. 170 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,635 [quietly] Spent $40 on this costume. 171 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:15,347 Is she your pick for champion? A tester would make a great underdog. 172 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:18,642 Yeah, a tester would, but not that one. She is so annoying. 173 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,185 Now that I have your attention, uh, 174 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:23,230 I'd actually like to use my platform to talk about something kind of important. 175 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:26,316 Um, I know that this is a fun fantasy day. 176 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,527 I've noticed a lot of half-eaten food in the trash. 177 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:31,280 -It's kind of ignoring the reality… -Yeah, she is tough. 178 00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,699 Yeah. You were close though. 179 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:36,910 It's gonna be a tester, but not that one. That one. 180 00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,455 So much more likable, isn't she? 181 00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:44,418 Yeah. Yeah, but she's not gonna win. She's not a fighter. She's a cleric. 182 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,044 -Shit, really? -Yeah. 183 00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:48,463 Who comes to a fighting tournament as a healer? 184 00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:49,548 I don't know. 185 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,967 Oh, wait. I have an idea. 186 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,803 You know what's better than one champion? 187 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:59,391 -Two. -[horn sounds] 188 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:04,396 Attention, lords and ladies. Your queen has an announcement. 189 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:07,482 After careful consideration, I have decided-- 190 00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:10,027 -We. -We have decided 191 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,779 to change the format of the event. 192 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:14,740 -Henceforth, I decree-- -We decree. 193 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:18,660 We. Wow, it is really easy to do that. It just feels better to say "I". 194 00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,954 -Human nature. -Sorry, what's going on? 195 00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:22,414 Shut up! You shut up! Shut up! 196 00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:24,166 -What-- I didn't-- -[Poppy] Henceforth, 197 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:29,796 we decree that the tournament shall be 2v2 team battles. 198 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,215 Wait. You're changing the rules? 199 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,634 Yes. Well, trust us. This will be more fun. 200 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:36,845 So, please check the bracket for your partner. 201 00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:39,890 You can't change the format in the middle of the tournament. That's unfair. 202 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,934 -You're with the other tester. -It's pairs, everyone. 203 00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:44,770 -We're doing pairs. -Wait. No. What? 204 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,813 You're fighting in the tournament. Come on. 205 00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:49,358 What say you, Liliana the Red? Ready to beat some ass? 206 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:52,945 I can't fight. I'm a cleric. Clerics don't beat ass. 207 00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:56,657 Well, they heal ass. That could be useful in battle. 208 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,076 -An ass healer? -A mythic proctologist. 209 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,789 -Let's go heal some ass. -Yes! 210 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,710 No! [gasps] 211 00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:11,338 Please, no! Please don't do this. Don't sandbag me. 212 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,382 I've got a real chance to win this, and you know that. 213 00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:17,219 Jo, Jo, Jo, now, Jo, he has a history of success, all right? 214 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,762 Just give him a shot. 215 00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:22,057 -And don't worry, you'll get your kills. -I'll get my kills? 216 00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,852 Jo Bear, your body count is gonna be massive, 217 00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:27,563 countless by the end of this, okay? Don't worry. 218 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,648 I can bathe in the blood of my enemies? 219 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,692 Honey, you could drink it if you wanted to. 220 00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:34,528 I mean, I wouldn't, for so many reasons 221 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,780 but, shit, wear it like a lotion. 222 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,574 -Okay, you trust me? -I trust you. 223 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:40,826 -And huzzah. -Huzzah. 224 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:46,415 What was that all about? 225 00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:49,626 [sighs] Well, we cannot have that maniac win, 226 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,587 so I gave her a handicap. 227 00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,631 ♪ I'm a bitch, I'm a lover ♪ 228 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,884 ♪ I'm a child, I'm a mother ♪ 229 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,760 ♪ I'm a sinner ♪ Oh! 230 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:02,181 ♪ I'm a saint, I do not-- ♪ [humming] 231 00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:07,186 Oh. Damn. ♪ Stay in place for me while I pee ♪ 232 00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:10,439 So this is where sad fantasy meets shriveled reality. 233 00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,442 You know what, Brad? 234 00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:17,696 It's really easy to stand on the sidelines and poke fun, 235 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,490 -but you know what's actually difficult? -Respecting you after this? 236 00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,242 Being vulnerable. 237 00:12:22,326 --> 00:12:26,163 Instead of living your life in what Brené Brown calls "the cheap seats." 238 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,497 I don't know who that is. 239 00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:31,210 Seriously? You don't know Brené Brown? 240 00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:34,046 [scoffs] Well, that explains a lot. 241 00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:37,466 I'll send you some links, bro. She'll change your life. 242 00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,094 [sighs] Anyway… 243 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:43,222 Everlight's not just a holiday, man. 244 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,224 It's-- It's, uh-- 245 00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:49,019 It's a hope that no matter how dark things get, 246 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:53,357 we all have it inside of us to step into the light. 247 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,610 Step into the light, man. 248 00:12:57,319 --> 00:12:58,320 You pissed on your dress. 249 00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,947 It's not a dress, Brad. It's a tunic-- 250 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,281 God, I did piss on my dress. 251 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:04,159 Hey, virgin! Let's go. We've got blood to spill. 252 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:06,245 Uh… Uh… 253 00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:07,329 Okay. Well, I was-- 254 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,164 -[Jo] Now! -Oh. All right. 255 00:13:09,248 --> 00:13:15,796 The tournament resumes with the dreaded Executioner and Albrecht the Pure. 256 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,465 Okay, Executioner. Ole Albrecht the Pure won this thing last year, 257 00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:20,759 -so just take heed and-- -Begin! 258 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:22,761 -[screams] -Damn it! 259 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:25,097 -[screams] -[grunts] 260 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,015 [crowd groans] 261 00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:29,518 -[grunting] -[grunts] 262 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,853 [groans] 263 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:33,522 -[grunts] -[crowd] Oh! 264 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:35,691 [shouts] 265 00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:38,610 [shouting] 266 00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:41,822 -[screams] -Hey, hey. Hey, hey. 267 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:44,116 Hey, hey, all right, all right. We won, we won, we won. 268 00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:45,534 -[man] Oh, my-- -[woman] Jesus. 269 00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:46,743 [shudders] 270 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:49,788 The Executioner and Albrecht the Pure are victorious. 271 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,081 [crowd booing] 272 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,667 Is this not what you wanted? 273 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:56,670 -Are you not happy? -[booing continues] 274 00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:01,049 Well, we've got our villain. That's for goddamn sure. 275 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:04,803 Now we just wait for our heroes to emerge. Right? 276 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:06,763 Yeah, that's it. Yeah. 277 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,807 ["We Drink Light" playing] 278 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,267 [no audible dialogue] 279 00:14:52,351 --> 00:14:54,686 [song continues] 280 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,494 [song stops] 281 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,079 Fireball! 282 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,039 -[ping] -[groans] 283 00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:19,378 I'm okay! I'm good. I'm okay. I'm okay. 284 00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:21,421 [sighs] 285 00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:25,425 [song resumes] 286 00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:38,647 [song continues] 287 00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:41,733 [song stops] 288 00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:43,527 Huzzah! 289 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,654 Our intrepid duo, 290 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:48,073 -Evi the Forsaken and Liliana the Red… -[cheering] 291 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,700 Boo! 292 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:53,954 …faces off against Albrecht the Pure 293 00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:56,623 and the bloodthirsty Executioner. 294 00:15:56,707 --> 00:16:00,210 [crowd booing] 295 00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:01,712 -You ready, Albrecht? -Kidding? 296 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,131 You're talking to the reigning cha-- Oh! I knew you were gonna-- 297 00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,049 Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh! Ah! 298 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,427 Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop, stop, stop. [groans] 299 00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:10,304 What's going on? We got a fight to finish. 300 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:12,556 I'm getting my ass kicked. It's not cool. 301 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,058 You have to fight back, David. They're your opponents. 302 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:19,229 I'm talking about Jo. I mean, she plays way too rough. 303 00:16:19,313 --> 00:16:20,314 You know what? 304 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,441 That's it. Uh-- [groans] 305 00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,318 I'm done playing with her. I forfeit. 306 00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,987 Whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't forfeit. Everlight can't end in a forfeit. 307 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,323 No, Brené Brown says that when your vulnerability 308 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:32,826 gets in the way of your happiness, it's okay to say "no". 309 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:34,244 Who? 310 00:16:34,328 --> 00:16:36,538 Oh, seriously? You don't know Brené Brown either? 311 00:16:36,622 --> 00:16:37,915 -Do you know Brené Brown? -No. 312 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,083 That is just unbel-- You know what? 313 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,835 That explains a lot. I'll just say that much. 314 00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:46,465 It explains a lot. I'm sending you links. I'm sending everybody here links. 315 00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:48,133 That's it. 316 00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:51,303 The reigning champ forfeits. Used to be fun. 317 00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,680 -This is bad, Pop. -Just give him a second to rest up. 318 00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:54,932 We can persuade him to finish. 319 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:58,143 No, then he'll be fighting through an injury. That'll make him the underdog. 320 00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:01,271 People will be rooting for him like he's Kerri Strug. 321 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,817 You have no idea who Kerri Strug is. 322 00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:08,904 I don't wanna say. You get so mad. Is it a movie? 323 00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:12,782 Olympic gold medalist Kerri Strug was a national-- Know what? Doesn't matter. 324 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,284 It doesn't matter. We-- [inhales] 325 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,743 We need to find a new villain. 326 00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:18,955 I have an idea. 327 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,333 [in unison] Brad, we need you to fight. 328 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,459 How do you do that? 329 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,044 You are all so predictable. 330 00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:26,255 We just need you to step in and finish the thing. 331 00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:27,756 No, it's dumb, and I hate it. 332 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:30,509 We know that you think this day is just some fantasy bullshit, 333 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:31,927 but it means something to them. 334 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,054 It's been a really hard year, 335 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:37,057 and we just wanted to give the staff a fun first day back. 336 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:40,936 These people have struggled through a lot, but they didn't give up. 337 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:44,189 They limped back onto the mat, and they gave it their all. 338 00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:47,234 Now they have to stick the landing, just like… 339 00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:49,069 -Rudy. -Fuck! 340 00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:51,780 -No? -She doesn't know who Kerri Strug is. 341 00:17:51,864 --> 00:17:53,824 -Okay, I'll do it. -Yes! 342 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,158 -Yes! Thank you. -Thank you. 343 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,244 Under one condition. 344 00:17:57,327 --> 00:18:02,499 If I win, you cancel Everlight forever. 345 00:18:03,876 --> 00:18:05,085 What do you think? 346 00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:07,004 -Why are you like this? -Why? 347 00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,505 -Were you not hugged as a child? -What's-- 348 00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:12,259 It's dumb, I hate it, and I want it to end. That is my condition. Do you accept? 349 00:18:13,844 --> 00:18:15,637 -[sighs] Huzzah. -Huzzah. 350 00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:19,016 [horn blows] 351 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:22,811 And so, a new challenger has entered the ring, 352 00:18:22,895 --> 00:18:27,399 a dark and evil rogue to match his villainous confederate. 353 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:28,483 His name… 354 00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:30,569 Brad. 355 00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:32,070 Brad what? 356 00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:34,281 -Brad from monetization. -[crowd groans] 357 00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,825 Oh, come on, man. Don't be such a dick. 358 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,119 Take it seriously. 359 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,747 Oh, I'm taking it seriously. 360 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:44,249 I went to college on a fencing scholarship. 361 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,460 [crowd gasps] 362 00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:49,880 [chuckles] All right. 363 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,132 -Let the fighting commence. -[cheers] 364 00:18:52,216 --> 00:18:55,761 -[yells] -[grunting] 365 00:19:01,517 --> 00:19:03,894 -Die, lesbian! -Jesus, Jo. 366 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,688 Yeah, we're dipping into some hate crime territory over there. 367 00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:09,983 -"Die, bitch"? -That's misogynist. 368 00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:10,901 Just "die"? 369 00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:12,361 -Works for me. -That's fine. 370 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,696 Cool. Die! 371 00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:15,906 [Rachel] Liliana! 372 00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:19,868 [grunting] 373 00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:21,495 [squeals] Rude! 374 00:19:22,621 --> 00:19:24,915 [clears throat] Executioner? 375 00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:28,460 -You have to die, Jo. -[sighs] 376 00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:30,045 Do I have to? 377 00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:31,839 -Yeah, you have to. -You have to die, Jo. 378 00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:33,924 Fine. 379 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:38,220 [groans, huffs] 380 00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:42,599 I curse thee! May misfortune plague your houses 381 00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:46,812 until death sends you to an unhappy grave, 382 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:51,191 choking on the ashes of your children! 383 00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:54,528 -That was pretty good. -Great death. 384 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:55,737 Did she just make that up? 385 00:19:55,821 --> 00:19:58,615 [chuckles] Thank you. Thank you, everybody. 386 00:19:58,699 --> 00:20:01,201 [chuckles] This is so fun. 387 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:04,997 -That was awesome. -I know! 388 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,040 I think we're gonna win. I really think we're gonna-- 389 00:20:07,124 --> 00:20:08,959 -[Brad growls] -[gasps] No! 390 00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:13,797 -Oh! -[groaning, gasps] 391 00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:17,050 Brad. You killed me? 392 00:20:17,134 --> 00:20:20,137 I totally took your agency. Felt good. 393 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,264 You are such a dick. 394 00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:24,641 -[Rachel groans] -[crowd groans] 395 00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:26,894 This is okay. This is okay. This is good. This is good. 396 00:20:26,977 --> 00:20:28,687 You have to avenge me, Liliana. 397 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,314 I can't do this without you. 398 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:31,648 Yes, you can. 399 00:20:36,111 --> 00:20:37,112 You got this. 400 00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:49,708 This is where our hero will rise. 401 00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:53,879 Okay, Brad. 402 00:20:57,049 --> 00:20:58,717 -Let's go. -[cheering] 403 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,385 -Come on now! -Yes! 404 00:21:03,347 --> 00:21:05,974 [grunting] 405 00:21:07,768 --> 00:21:08,769 [shouts] 406 00:21:08,852 --> 00:21:10,354 [straining] 407 00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:14,900 No. [strains] Come on. 408 00:21:17,778 --> 00:21:19,488 -Come on, Dana. -[Brad] It's happening. 409 00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:21,406 -Come on, Dana. -Night-night. 410 00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:23,033 -[pants] -[groans] 411 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:25,702 -[shouts] -Yes, yes! 412 00:21:25,786 --> 00:21:27,663 [cheering] 413 00:21:27,746 --> 00:21:28,956 [Poppy] You did it! 414 00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:31,500 -Yes. Go for the sword. -Yes, get it! Get it! 415 00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:34,795 -[Dana grunts] -[crowd gasps] 416 00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:36,547 [groans] 417 00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:39,883 I minored in archery. 418 00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:45,472 Liliana the Red is dead. 419 00:21:47,266 --> 00:21:48,475 The winner is… 420 00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:51,728 Brad from monetization. 421 00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:53,397 Brad won? 422 00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,774 [chuckles] 423 00:21:55,858 --> 00:21:57,276 I guess sometimes evil wins. 424 00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,404 Okay, well, I guess, uh, Everlight is no more. 425 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:03,407 -Your king and queen signed off on it. -Wait. What? 426 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:05,784 [Brad] Darkness will rule the land forevermore 427 00:22:05,868 --> 00:22:07,870 or whatever nerdy bullshit you guys wanna say. 428 00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:09,246 That's what's up! 429 00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:13,083 He's lying, right? 430 00:22:13,584 --> 00:22:14,710 Uh… 431 00:22:15,794 --> 00:22:16,962 No. 432 00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:28,307 -[sighs] Damn it. -I can't believe Brad won. 433 00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:30,893 I can because this entire year has been one giant dumpster fire. 434 00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:32,477 The shittest year of shittest years! 435 00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:34,771 One nice thing. We can't have one nice thing. 436 00:22:34,855 --> 00:22:36,106 One nice thing! 437 00:22:36,190 --> 00:22:38,650 It's not a coincidence that the one year this thing doesn't work 438 00:22:38,734 --> 00:22:41,445 -is the first year that you're involved. -Oh, so now this is my fault? 439 00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:43,864 I don't know. Maybe this land doesn't need a female king. 440 00:22:43,947 --> 00:22:46,200 -Oh, this is so typical of you. -I don't know. 441 00:22:46,283 --> 00:22:49,786 Well, maybe the queendom should have a-- wha-- 442 00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:51,622 Wait. Wait. 443 00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:56,710 Brad hasn't beaten everyone yet. You and I can still fight. 444 00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:58,337 No, Pop, I already told you-- 445 00:22:58,420 --> 00:23:01,173 Yes, I know. No one wants to see the bosses win. 446 00:23:01,256 --> 00:23:04,510 It's not a good story, but it's the only story we've got. 447 00:23:04,593 --> 00:23:05,594 It doesn't make any sense. 448 00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:08,013 In the story, the king can't pull the sword out of the tree. 449 00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:09,848 What? The sword doesn't matter. 450 00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:15,103 Wait. Do you not understand the story? 451 00:23:15,187 --> 00:23:17,481 Of course I understand the story. I wrote it. 452 00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:20,734 The little guy beats the shit out of everybody else 'cause he's so tough. 453 00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:23,612 Then he gets the sword out of the tree, and he stabs the darkness, 454 00:23:23,695 --> 00:23:26,198 which then destroys it into, like, a billion pieces or whatever. 455 00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:30,244 No. The story is a metaphor for hope. 456 00:23:31,703 --> 00:23:35,332 The darkness is despair, and the only way to defeat despair 457 00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:37,584 is by bringing in the light. 458 00:23:40,003 --> 00:23:42,381 And the light is hope. 459 00:23:42,923 --> 00:23:45,801 Okay, okay, fine. Then what's the sword supposed to be? 460 00:23:45,884 --> 00:23:47,344 The sword is irrelevant. 461 00:23:47,427 --> 00:23:49,096 Although knowing you, it's probably a dick. 462 00:23:49,179 --> 00:23:50,180 Yeah. 463 00:23:50,264 --> 00:23:53,517 [sighs] The point is you can't defeat darkness with a dick. 464 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:54,810 -I could. -[Poppy] Shut up! 465 00:23:54,893 --> 00:23:56,645 You can't defeat the darkness with a dick 466 00:23:56,728 --> 00:23:59,731 or by throwing a party or rigging a tournament. 467 00:24:00,315 --> 00:24:04,319 The only way to bring in the light is by believing that you can. 468 00:24:05,404 --> 00:24:06,405 This isn't over. 469 00:24:07,239 --> 00:24:09,575 Everlight can still work. 470 00:24:09,658 --> 00:24:12,995 You just need to believe. 471 00:24:19,168 --> 00:24:20,878 [crowd whispering] 472 00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:28,010 All right. Let's do this. 473 00:24:37,477 --> 00:24:38,520 [gasps] 474 00:24:40,189 --> 00:24:41,440 [gasps] 475 00:24:43,775 --> 00:24:45,903 [animals, insects chirping] 476 00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:55,996 [exhales] 477 00:25:04,421 --> 00:25:06,131 [clangs] 478 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,135 [grunts] 479 00:25:21,897 --> 00:25:24,149 [all grunting] 480 00:25:25,901 --> 00:25:27,110 [strains] 481 00:25:27,194 --> 00:25:29,112 [both grunting] 482 00:25:30,489 --> 00:25:31,573 [grunts] 483 00:25:37,329 --> 00:25:38,664 [groans] 484 00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:48,131 [both grunting] 485 00:25:48,215 --> 00:25:50,551 [frogs croaking] 486 00:26:01,603 --> 00:26:03,605 [both grunting] 487 00:26:05,983 --> 00:26:07,025 [groans] 488 00:26:07,109 --> 00:26:09,027 [panting] 489 00:26:12,489 --> 00:26:15,367 Yield, Brad. I don't wanna have to kill you. 490 00:26:18,203 --> 00:26:20,539 No, no, no, no, no, no. 491 00:26:21,957 --> 00:26:24,001 [chuckles] 492 00:26:26,253 --> 00:26:27,838 [snarls] 493 00:26:29,923 --> 00:26:31,800 [skin crackling] 494 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,679 [voices whispering] 495 00:26:48,108 --> 00:26:49,902 [demonic voice] Oh, I'm no longer Brad. 496 00:26:49,985 --> 00:26:52,070 [growls] 497 00:26:52,154 --> 00:26:54,907 And you cannot kill me. 498 00:26:54,990 --> 00:26:56,366 -Oh… -Fuck. 499 00:26:57,826 --> 00:27:00,162 'Cause I am not a warrior. 500 00:27:00,245 --> 00:27:01,747 [snarls] 501 00:27:02,331 --> 00:27:04,041 I'm not even human. 502 00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:08,420 -Oh! -Fuck! 503 00:27:10,047 --> 00:27:12,090 There is nowhere to run. 504 00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:15,469 Nowhere to hide. 505 00:27:15,552 --> 00:27:16,929 Because I… 506 00:27:18,263 --> 00:27:22,976 am the darkness… itself. 507 00:27:24,019 --> 00:27:25,187 [snarls] 508 00:27:25,270 --> 00:27:26,939 [yells] 509 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:29,483 [gasps] 510 00:27:34,530 --> 00:27:35,656 [groans] 511 00:27:37,199 --> 00:27:38,575 [gasps] 512 00:27:42,287 --> 00:27:43,455 [shouts] 513 00:27:52,256 --> 00:27:53,799 [groans] 514 00:27:54,758 --> 00:27:55,884 [groans] 515 00:27:56,802 --> 00:27:57,845 [chuckles] 516 00:27:57,928 --> 00:27:59,638 No need to struggle. 517 00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:01,014 [grunts] 518 00:28:01,557 --> 00:28:03,016 Give in. 519 00:28:03,100 --> 00:28:04,601 [grunting] 520 00:28:04,685 --> 00:28:06,311 Give in. 521 00:28:08,021 --> 00:28:09,356 Give in. 522 00:28:10,858 --> 00:28:13,819 Give in to the darkness! 523 00:28:13,902 --> 00:28:15,571 [gasps] 524 00:28:17,614 --> 00:28:20,367 -[panting] -[gasps] 525 00:28:23,871 --> 00:28:25,372 Fireball! 526 00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:28,959 Go! 527 00:28:31,420 --> 00:28:32,629 No! 528 00:28:32,713 --> 00:28:33,881 [shouts] 529 00:28:33,964 --> 00:28:36,550 [screaming] 530 00:28:49,271 --> 00:28:51,648 [Poppy laughing] 531 00:28:57,487 --> 00:28:59,323 [birds chirping] 532 00:29:17,674 --> 00:29:18,675 You did it. 533 00:29:26,308 --> 00:29:27,434 We did it. 534 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,103 [chuckles] 535 00:29:32,481 --> 00:29:35,526 [distant cheering] 536 00:29:35,609 --> 00:29:37,027 [cheering] 537 00:29:37,110 --> 00:29:39,112 ["We Drink Light" playing] 538 00:29:58,549 --> 00:29:59,758 Whatever, dorks. 539 00:29:59,842 --> 00:30:02,177 At last, the night has ended! 540 00:30:02,261 --> 00:30:04,972 And so a new day dawns! 541 00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:06,181 [together] Huzzah! 542 00:30:06,265 --> 00:30:08,934 Huzzah! 543 00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:12,771 [narrator] And so the darkness was lifted. 544 00:30:13,522 --> 00:30:16,191 The king and queen rejoiced and made merry. 545 00:30:18,026 --> 00:30:22,447 For though they knew that the darkness will always return, 546 00:30:22,531 --> 00:30:25,784 on this day, this very special day… 547 00:30:27,494 --> 00:30:29,413 there was light. 548 00:30:29,496 --> 00:30:31,081 [song continues] 549 00:31:33,185 --> 00:31:34,520 [song ends]