1
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,258
So, last night was fun.

2
00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:52,552
-It was really fun.
-I had a really good time.

3
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,556
Well, good-bye for real.

4
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,141
Yeah.

5
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,810
-I'm starving.
-I could go for some breakfast.

6
00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:02,604
Do you wanna go get
something to eat?

7
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,272
Definitely.

8
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,191
-I'll just get my jacket.
-Yeah.

9
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:12,530
Mmm.

10
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:18,453
I did. I hung out with
the crudites table all night,

11
00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:19,913
trying to work up
the courage
to talk to you

12
00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:21,372
because I knew
you'd be back.

13
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,666
I kept going back
to the crudite table,

14
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,210
trying to get you
to notice me.

15
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,962
I noticed you the moment
you walked in the door.

16
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:29,422
What's your last name?

17
00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,674
Why? So you can
Google-stalk me?

18
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:35,094
No, I just wanna know
what to put in my phone.

19
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:38,515
Oh. I'm not giving you
my phone number.

20
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:49,108
You've made a huge mistake.

21
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,319
I knew it.
I felt it in my gut.

22
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,250
-Oh, shit.
-What?

23
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,710
I forgot that I made plans
with my friends today.

24
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,212
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
go to your friends.

25
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:10,380
It's not a big deal.

26
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,257
Unless you want.
I could stay.

27
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,800
-This was fun.
-Oh.

28
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,343
-I should go.
-Do you wanna stay?

29
00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:16,678
Oh... Okay.

30
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:24,477
What is that?

31
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,272
-What?
-That face.

32
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:29,524
Is that your
"I wanna kiss you" face?

33
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:31,192
-No.
-Oh.

34
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:33,236
Oh. Wait. Unless...

35
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:34,946
Unless what?

36
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,282
What does your
"I wanna kiss you" face
look like?

37
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,576
It looks a lot like this.

38
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,925
You are unbelievable.

39
00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:05,476
<i> You are</i>
<i>literally unbelievable!</i>

40
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:06,436
If I told someone,

41
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,687
"This is what Leilani
said to me," they'd be like,

42
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,022
-"I don't believe you."
-Who are you?

43
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,732
-You're not even upset!
-Why would I be upset?

44
00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:12,150
Because it's fucked up.

45
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,777
Don't do this.
Don't make this
a whole global thing--

46
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,905
-I'm upset.
-I thought you were kidding.

47
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,115
Why would I possibly
be kidding about
something like this?

48
00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:20,199
Oh, my God!

49
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:21,701
Okay, he's up now.

50
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,578
You think we would win
<i>The Amazing Race!</i>

51
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,164
-You don't?
-You think, in a game show

52
00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:28,166
about a race
around the fucking world,

53
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:30,126
you and me
would come out on top.

54
00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:32,003
I did,
but now I'm not so sure.

55
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:33,630
We can't even agree
on a restaurant.

56
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,715
We can't agree on a restaurant
because you have a problem

57
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,759
with every restaurant
in New Orleans.

58
00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:40,094
The restaurant capital
of the world,
and you can't decide.

59
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,639
Actually, Hong Kong is
the restaurant capital
of the world.

60
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,851
I just don't want you
to embarrass yourself
in front of your friends

61
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,020
by getting these
pretty basic facts wrong.

62
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:51,648
I don't hate restaurants.
I like restaurants.

63
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:54,734
You literally spent
several hours yesterday
writing a negative Yelp review

64
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,236
with your white-woman fingers

65
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,154
about that tapas place
we went to,

66
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,280
and I thought
it was pretty tasty.

67
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,657
It was very salty.

68
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,409
I didn't know I would get
mouth-fucked by the Dead Sea!.

69
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,536
And I don't have
white-woman fingers.

70
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:06,871
I've got meaty bronze.

71
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,790
Why are you being
so loud right now? Okay?

72
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:10,333
Do you want the neighbors
to think we're crazy?

73
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,335
Who cares
what the neighbors think?
They don't know us.

74
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:15,046
Hi, nice to meet you!
We're fighting!

75
00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,340
No, we're not!
We're rehearsing a play!

76
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,675
It's a fight scene.

77
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,218
How's this?

78
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,428
It's fun.

79
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,055
It's fun?
What do I look like,
Chuck E. Cheese?

80
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,724
But sexy.
You're like Fuck E. Cheese.

81
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,313
By the way, you know
you can't have your cell phone
on those shows, right?

82
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,564
You'd lose your mind.

83
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:36,025
No, I wouldn't.
I'd be liberated
without that thing.

84
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,655
-I'm good.
-You wanna get that?

85
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:42,615
<i>♪ Nope, I'm good! ♪</i>

86
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,034
Oh, my God,
what if somebody liked
something on Instagram?

87
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,037
- Tsk.

88
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,163
Shut up. You don't know me.

89
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,624
It's Val.
She said I look thicc.

90
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,585
Mmm-hmm. Another reason
we wouldn't win that show,

91
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:58,339
you can't take selfies
when you're half naked,
eating ants off a stick.

92
00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,757
Do you even watch the show?

93
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,094
Have I seen <i>The Amazing Race?</i>

94
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:04,929
This is literally the question
you're asking me right now?

95
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,222
That's what I'm asking you.

96
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,975
You're asking me, Jibran,
have I seen <i>The Amazing Race?</i>

97
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,144
Uh-huh.

98
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:13,563
You've spent
this entire time
judging this show

99
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:14,647
and you've never seen
an episode?

100
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,816
I don't need to see something
to know I would hate it, okay?

101
00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:18,651
I've never been
hit by a truck,
but I know it would suck!

102
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,445
-Wow!
-I don't wanna rot my brain

103
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:22,155
watching that
reality show garbage.

104
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,449
You make documentaries, okay?

105
00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:26,701
Those are just reality shows
that no one watches.

106
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,119
Documentaries are not
reality shows.

107
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:29,787
Documentaries are reality.

108
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,540
Okay? My work
is social activism.

109
00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:33,708
I don't do it for the RTs.

110
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:35,668
You don't
have to say RTs.

111
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,003
Just say retweets, Dad.

112
00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:38,338
Can we please go?

113
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,631
The later we are,
the longer we'll have to stay.

114
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:43,092
What's the rush?
It's not like we're doing
anything exciting afterward.

115
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,802
I thought we were
gonna have sex.

116
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,096
Oh, yeah,
'cause nothing gets me hotter

117
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,891
than a plan in the day to have
sex at night. Whoo, freaky!

118
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:52,018
You want freaky sex?
We could do freaky sex.

119
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,519
Just let me know
what you want me to do

120
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,688
and I will do it to you
at the designated time.

121
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,274
That is the antithesis
of freaky sex! Okay?

122
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,318
Just schedule me
in your calendar.

123
00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,779
"Intercourse with Leilani
at 10:42."

124
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:04,030
-Super sexy.
-Okay.

125
00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:07,075
Freaky sex and scheduling are
not mutually exclusive, okay?

126
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:10,078
You think people
just randomly show up
at the same time for an orgy?

127
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,788
No, they probably share
a Google Calendar.

128
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,289
No, I think
it's spontaneous.

129
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,124
One guy comes,
and another guy comes.

130
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,376
They show up
and they have sex.

131
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:20,004
It's a bunch of guys there,
why wouldn't you have sex
with them all?

132
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:23,549
Okay, there's a lot
to parse through there,

133
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:26,844
but you're talking
about a gang bang,
I'm talking about an orgy.

134
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,012
Tomato, tomahto.

135
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,306
And where are you getting
your group sex information?

136
00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:31,808
-BuzzFeed?
- I don't know!

137
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,695
So, who's gonna be
at this dinner-party thing?

138
00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,989
Um, Bobby and Reya.

139
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:49,617
Val...

140
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:53,079
I think maybe Keith, Stefan...

141
00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:54,997
-Um...
-Oh, you think maybe Keith?

142
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:56,999
Yeah, maybe.

143
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,918
As if you're not 100% sure
he's gonna be there?

144
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,711
I'm not sure. I'm not.

145
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,380
Oh, yeah? You wanna bet?

146
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:05,007
I bet he's gonna be there
with his fucking lame jokes

147
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,592
and his boring
IT stories and his...

148
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:10,471
beach muscles he gets from
diligent exercise and diet.

149
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:13,474
-Are you done?
-Hate to burst
the Keith bubble,

150
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:16,227
but all those hilarious jokes
that he does?

151
00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:18,896
Katt Williams.
They're Katt Williams' jokes.

152
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,773
You're saying that he steals
his jokes from Katt Williams?

153
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:21,774
Exactly.

154
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:25,403
"How do you know it's nice
to meet me? I'm an asshole!"

155
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,238
That's Katt Williams,
word for word.

156
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,781
That doesn't even sound
like Katt Williams.

157
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,074
Well, I'm not gonna
use the voice.

158
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,410
To win <i>The Amazing Race,</i>
you need to be a team,

159
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:33,703
you need to be
on the same page.

160
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:37,123
I feel like I'm on one page
of the book and you're,
like, reading a magazine.

161
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,375
Yeah. I would love to be
on the same page as you,

162
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,878
but you're always
locked in your office
editing that movie.

163
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,129
It's not a movie.

164
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:46,466
This is a documentary
about corruption
in the educational system.

165
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,301
How would I know?
You won't even show it to me.

166
00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:50,052
-I'll show it to you
whenever you want.
-Been working on it forever.

167
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,471
Okay, great.
How about tomorrow?

168
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:54,265
I can't do it tomorrow.
I'm rendering the animation.

169
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,686
Steph and George
are getting married?

170
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,271
Did you just like that?

171
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:02,231
Yeah.

172
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:07,236
-What happened to
"marriage is bullshit"?
-It is.

173
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,489
Okay. Well, then
why did you like it?

174
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,949
Because I didn't wanna be
the only one out of our friends

175
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,784
to not like it.
I'm not a hater.

176
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,995
Okay. Since the day
we've met,

177
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,623
you've talked about
how you think marriage
is fucking lame.

178
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,708
I didn't say "lame."
I said "problematic."

179
00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:23,961
Right. Two people declaring
their eternal love
for each other.

180
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,338
How problematic.

181
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,715
You know what I think?
I think you do want
all that stuff.

182
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:30,301
Marriage and kids.
You just don't
want it with me.

183
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:33,221
And I think that you just want
someone with no expectations,

184
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:36,015
so you can sit in that room
by yourself
for the rest of your life.

185
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,558
I think you just want
a relationship

186
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:38,976
that you can brag about
to your friends.

187
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,229
Yeah, I do!
And I'm not willing to settle.

188
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:42,480
I don't wanna settle, either.

189
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:45,358
That's why I don't
wanna be with someone
who's so fucking shallow.

190
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:49,362
And I don't wanna
be with someone

191
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,697
who's so satisfied
with being a failure.

192
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:03,876
-I can't do this anymore.
- This isn't working.

193
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,095
Are we done?

194
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,472
I think we've been done
for a while.

195
00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:25,064
- Oh, fuck!
- Shit!

196
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,359
- Oh, fuck. Uh...
- Shit.

197
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,863
-Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Uh...

198
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,949
-Uh, are you okay?
- You okay?

199
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,535
Oh, there's blood.
Here, let me help you up.

200
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:39,161
No, no, you probably
shouldn't move him.

201
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,371
Oh, right. Yeah.

202
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,456
-I'm gonna call 911, okay?
-No, no, no!

203
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,041
I'm fine. I gotta go.

204
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,167
You're bleeding,
you're not fine.

205
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,711
- Are you sure?
-I gotta go. I gotta go!

206
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,212
Oh.

207
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,550
Uh... I don't know
if that's a good idea, man.

208
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,719
-Thank you.
-I'll call 911.

209
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:57,471
Wait, wait, wait!
Wait! You forgot your phone!

210
00:09:58,723 --> 00:09:59,890
Oh, my God.

211
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,484
-I need your car!
-What?

212
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,236
I'm a police officer
and he's a criminal!

213
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,904
Move the fuck over!
Get in the back!

214
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,281
Move, move, move!

215
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:16,949
Hold on.

216
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:21,996
-Where'd he go?
-Huh?

217
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,331
-Where'd he go?

218
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,666
-He went that way!

219
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,960
East! East!
Uh, suspect headed eastbound.

220
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,801
What did he do? Was it drugs?

221
00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:37,511
It was drugs, huh?
Are you undercover?

222
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,639
You can't tell us
if you're undercover, huh?
I get it.

223
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:41,599
At least we didn't hit
a good guy, right?

224
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:44,268
It's not good
that we hit someone,
but at least we hit a bad guy?

225
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,520
Yeah, who rides a bike
in this part of town?

226
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,105
Yeah, where do you think
you are, Europe?

227
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,402
Sorry, we'll be serious.

228
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,529
Right there! There he goes!

229
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,700
Off the sidewalk, asshole!

230
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,166
Turn, turn, turn!

231
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,043
We got him. Yes!

232
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,880
- Shit!

233
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,425
Rats! Right?

234
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,219
Wait, if you make a left
up here, you can cut him off.

235
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,804
Oh, good idea. Oh!

236
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:22,390
- Yep!
-Whoo.

237
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,894
-There he is, over there!
-Oh! Oh!

238
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:29,688
Oh.

239
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,357
Fucking jaywalkers.

240
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,489
Shit, he's going in circles!
What an idiot!

241
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,494
- Turn! Turn!
- Turn!

242
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,205
There, there, there!
Go, go, go!

243
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,289
He turned the corner!

244
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,083
Go down this alley,
it's a dead end!

245
00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:52,086
Ho, ho, ho! Justice!

246
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,720
Oh, my God!

247
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,114
Um...

248
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,326
-Oh, oh...

249
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,793
-Oh, my God.

250
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,517
I don't think he's a cop.

251
00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,170
Oh, my God.

252
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,005
Hello?

253
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,299
I think
he's fucking dead.

254
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:22,384
Oh, shit!

255
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,179
- What the fuck?
-Oh, my God.

256
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,060
Oh, my God, what did you do?

257
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:34,605
-Oh. Oh, no, no, no.
-Oh, oh-- No, no, no.

258
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:35,689
This isn't what it looks like.

259
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:36,774
We didn't kill him.

260
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:38,359
You hit him
with your car, man.

261
00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:40,069
No! I mean, yes, I did, but--

262
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,238
-No, that was-- That's all.
-That was a while ago.

263
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:43,322
Oh, my God, oh, my God.

264
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:46,659
After I hit him,
he was alive and, like, great.

265
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,494
Not "great."
He wasn't having the best day,

266
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:49,995
but he has been breathing
since then.

267
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,247
He's fucking dead!

268
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,457
We know he's dead,
but we didn't kill him.

269
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,667
He just said he killed him.

270
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,961
No. I said I hit him
with my car.

271
00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:59,755
-Clearly it worked. You killed
a guy with your car, man!
- Okay, but, no, wait.

272
00:13:59,838 --> 00:14:01,590
-We hit him earlier and then
we were just drivin' to...
- I was driving,

273
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,384
-and we broke up,
and I got distracted...
-...Bobby and Reya's house.

274
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,301
...and I ran through
a red light...

275
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,219
-But a moustache came in...
- But then this guy

276
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:06,637
with a weird moustache...
No, we hit him earlier.

277
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,305
I helped him a little bit
with my map,

278
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:09,807
which I admit
was definitely a mistake.

279
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,642
He took our car,
he ran over him like a dog--

280
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:12,893
We need to call the cops.

281
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,979
And then back and forth
ten times

282
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:16,605
and now I've
got a dead guy's blood on me

283
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,107
and my car's
a fucking murder weapon!

284
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,984
-What are you doing?
-I'm calling 911.

285
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,402
Please don't do that.
We would never hurt anyone.

286
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,279
I'd like to report
a murder or whatever.

287
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,697
We didn't murder anybody!

288
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,532
-Yeah, stop.
- You stop!

289
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,993
Oh, my God, the police
aren't gonna believe us.

290
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:30,661
Do you know
how stupid we sound?

291
00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:33,330
-This is a citizen's arrest.
-What is that?

292
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,540
It's an arrest from a citizen.

293
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:35,624
Can you do that?

294
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,960
-Can he do that?
-On the count of three. Okay?

295
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,044
On the count of three, what?

296
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,129
What is that face?

297
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,381
I can't read your face!
Just say it.

298
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:43,465
On the count of three.

299
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,175
-What? What?
-One, two, three, go!

300
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,594
The guy just ran for it.

301
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:47,678
Jibran!

302
00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:48,804
Okay, the guy's name
is Jibran.

303
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:50,472
Run, Leilani!

304
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,891
And the girl's name
is actually Leilani.

305
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,267
Shit.

306
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,102
She's--
She's running too now.

307
00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:57,104
She just happens to be
African-American

308
00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:59,356
and he just happens to be
a person of color as well.

309
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,774
But I don't, like,
think they're murderers

310
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,651
because they're minorities.
I think they're murderers

311
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,278
because they
literally just killed a guy

312
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,946
-and he's laying here.
-Oh, fuck.

313
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,459
Hey.

314
00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,295
Are you okay?

315
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,758
- Nosebleeds.
- It's house painting
with red paint.

316
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:28,552
We were painting the kitchen
blood colors?

317
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:35,601
What can I get for you guys?

318
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,227
Do you have alcohol?

319
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,647
-Two, please.
-Two.

320
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:40,731
Two what?

321
00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:43,150
Two alcohols, please.
Thank you so much.

322
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,945
We don't serve alcohol.

323
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,368
We have to go to the police.

324
00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:54,078
Us?

325
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,538
You and me?

326
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,290
How do you think
that's gonna go?

327
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,334
It's the best bad idea.

328
00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:03,128
No, it's not. They're gonna
arrest us in two seconds.

329
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,005
Maybe we just tell them
the truth.

330
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,465
Do you think the police
care about the truth?

331
00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:07,549
Do you think
they're gonna give us

332
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,051
the benefit of the doubt?

333
00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:10,761
-But what else?
-Jibran,

334
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:12,930
the truth sounds crazy.

335
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,015
What are you gonna
say to them?

336
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:17,434
"Hello, Officer.

337
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,771
We are turning ourselves in
for now,

338
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:23,190
because we have
nothing to hide."

339
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:25,109
"Then why'd you run
from the scene of the crime?"

340
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:26,402
"Good question, Officer.

341
00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:28,821
That's why
you're good at your job.

342
00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:31,907
It's because
we looked guilty.

343
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,160
Which was scary for us,
because we are not guilty.

344
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,746
So, in a way, us running
only proves that we are--"

345
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,082
"That's me covering up
my bodycam,

346
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:42,918
so I can beat
your ass, you fucking liar."

347
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:45,671
-Okay. Okay. Done?
-Nope.

348
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,758
That was me
throwing the book at you.

349
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,720
You know there's no real
actual book, right?

350
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,722
"So you left
a man dead in the street?"

351
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,349
-"We did not leave him dead."
-"And didn't call the police?"

352
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,476
"Because there was no time,
because we had to--"

353
00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:01,770
"Brown man, you sound crazy."

354
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,689
-"Don't say that."
-"You look like
a murderer to me."

355
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,566
-"Don't say that."
-"Look at your murderous beard

356
00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:07,359
and your murderous brow."

357
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,819
You said you liked the beard.

358
00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:11,113
Your beard looks like murder.

359
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,163
- Don't.
- Hello?

360
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,789
Leilani, where the fuck
are you guys?

361
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,375
<i>I'm so sorry.</i>
<i>We bumped into an old friend.</i>

362
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,711
<i>-And...</i>
-Still at home.

363
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:28,088
we were going back and
forth with him several times.

364
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,173
Can you tell them
to grab some wine

365
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,549
We don't have any white
for Evonne.

366
00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:33,552
Hey, can you pick up a bottle
of pinot? Grigio, not noir.

367
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,220
Sure,
we'll bring a bottle over.

368
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:36,847
Great. See you in a bit.

369
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:41,060
-What's going on?
-They're acting weird.

370
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:42,728
How you know
it's nice to meet me?

371
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:44,730
-What if I'm an asshole?

372
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,398
You're hilarious.

373
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,662
This silver
milkshake container

374
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,581
is such a thing, you know?

375
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:04,166
They're always like,
"We made too much,

376
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,709
so here's the extra
and the container

377
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:06,794
that we made it in."

378
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,587
They can't just
measure it out?

379
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,589
Huh?

380
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,966
They don't do that
with other stuff.

381
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,885
They're not like,
"Well, here's spaghetti

382
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,845
and here's some more
spaghetti on the side.

383
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:19,223
We made too much
for the spaghetti plate.

384
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:20,974
Here's soup.

385
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,851
We didn't wanna
measure it out early on,

386
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,269
and here we are."

387
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,146
Like, what the fuck?

388
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:28,607
-It's crazy.
-It's so crazy.

389
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:31,944
Not the extra
milkshake container.

390
00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:43,372
<i>Is this Leilani Brooks?</i>

391
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,374
Who is this?

392
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,835
This is Detective Mary Martin
of the New Orleans PD.

393
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:49,253
Hi, Detective.

394
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:51,839
Ma'am, have you driven your
vehicle at any time today?

395
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,843
No, not-not today. Mmm-mmm.

396
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:57,177
Can I ask
where you are right now?

397
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,595
She's asking
where I am right now.

398
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,013
- Hang up.
-Home.

399
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:02,266
I'm home. Just chilling.

400
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,393
Are you saying that your
vehicle is at home as well?

401
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:05,769
- Hang up.
-Yes!

402
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,356
If I just go to my window
right now, I should see--

403
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:11,483
Oh, my God.

404
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,861
Honey, wasn't our car
parked outside?

405
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:14,987
<i>This is crazy, Detective.</i>

406
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,698
I must have left the keys
in the ignition.

407
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,616
Can I get you two
anything else?

408
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,285
<i>Is that a waitress?</i>

409
00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:23,287
<i>Ma'am, where are you right now?</i>

410
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:25,455
We'll get the check.

411
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,543
We're so fucked!

412
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:30,961
No, we're not.

413
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,297
We just have to lay low

414
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:37,176
and keep a low profile
until this blows over.

415
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,594
I don't think--

416
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,471
Murders don't blow over, Lei.

417
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:42,556
Yes, they do.

418
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:45,225
If the police find the guy
that they're looking for.

419
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,019
You and me are the guy
they're looking for.

420
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,646
You know that song "Bad boys,
bad boys, whatcha gonna do"?

421
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,191
We're the bad boys.
What are we gonna do?

422
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,026
Yeah, I know that song
<i>Who Let the Dogs Out.</i>

423
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,986
And I'm always like,
who did let the dogs out?

424
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:57,863
Are we just talking
about songs that we remember?

425
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,031
You started it.

426
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,118
Bicycle guy's phone
bing-bonged.

427
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,494
It just made
a bing-bong sound.

428
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:06,747
Oh, don't touch it!
That's evidence!

429
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,498
I've been touching it
the whole time.

430
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,503
It's his calendar.
"Edie at Dragon's Den."

431
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,422
Wait. This Edie person

432
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:17,674
obviously knows Bicycle, right?

433
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:21,845
-What?
-So what if she knows
who wanted to kill Bicycle?

434
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,014
Oh. Okay, so you're suggesting

435
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:26,350
we actually go out there
and solve a--

436
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,310
murder?
That's what you're suggesting?

437
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,270
Kinda.

438
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,730
Who the fuck do you think
we are?

439
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:32,856
Hobbs and Shaw?

440
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,149
We're not even a couple.

441
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,651
We couldn't figure out
our relationship.

442
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,237
You think that we're gonna
figure out who killed Bicycle?

443
00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:43,200
We did break up, right?

444
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:46,328
Yeah.

445
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:47,621
Okay.

446
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,749
Jibran, all we need is a name.

447
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:52,334
We get Mustache's name,

448
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,962
we take it to the police,
and then we're in the clear.

449
00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:57,130
We have ten minutes
to get there.

450
00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,800
I don't think
this is a good idea at all.

451
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,678
I know you're scared, Ji,
and I'm scared, too.

452
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,012
But...

453
00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:08,016
What a sweet baby.

454
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:09,726
Woof-woof.

455
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:13,272
Can we try Edie?
See if she can help us?

456
00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:16,149
Okay.

457
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:17,359
But if you're wrong
and we spend

458
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:18,819
the rest of our lives
on death row,

459
00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:19,945
I'm gonna be so pissed at you.

460
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:21,738
That's fair.

461
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:26,994
- Oh, my God.

462
00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:28,495
It's the police.

463
00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:31,039
-Don't answer it, ignore it.
-Right, right, right.

464
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:33,083
Right, right.

465
00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:36,169
Why do they still have
the cigarette lighter?

466
00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,338
Like, just make it
a power outlet

467
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:39,548
at this point, you know?

468
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,383
Like, who's like,
"I'm operating a vehicle,

469
00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:42,968
I want to introduce fire
into this--"

470
00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:45,554
Jibran, please.
No more milkshake monologues,

471
00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:47,431
-okay?
-Right.

472
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,017
Excuse me, sir,
this isn't our destination.

473
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,939
-Are you Leon?
- Yes, sir.

474
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,567
- Dope.

475
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,488
You ordered a Lyft share.

476
00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:06,241
I just have it set
on that option by default.

477
00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:09,870
You're amazing.

478
00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:11,788
Oh, you're amazing.

479
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,540
But you're like
amazing-amazing.

480
00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:14,708
No, you are.

481
00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:15,917
I miss you
when we're together.

482
00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:18,128
Like, right this second,

483
00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:20,797
I am sitting next to you
and I miss you.

484
00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:22,549
Aw, baby.

485
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:25,052
So, we're gonna
go to this spot

486
00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:26,303
and find this Edie person

487
00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:29,181
-and then see what happens.

488
00:22:29,806 --> 00:22:31,975
How are we gonna know
who Edie is?

489
00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:35,270
I don't know, we just go up
to her and ask if--

490
00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:39,149
I love you
more than I love my mom!

491
00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:41,151
Shut the fuck up! Okay?

492
00:22:41,234 --> 00:22:42,319
It's all kissy and huggy now,

493
00:22:42,402 --> 00:22:44,529
but it all comes
crashing down.

494
00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:46,114
Okay?

495
00:22:50,994 --> 00:22:53,663
All right, here we go
into the Dragon's Den.

496
00:22:53,747 --> 00:22:55,415
It'll be fine.
We got this.

497
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:00,837
It's not that bad.

498
00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:02,798
We just gotta find her.

499
00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,216
Okay. Yeah.

500
00:23:05,258 --> 00:23:07,594
We just act
super normal, okay?

501
00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:09,346
Yeah.

502
00:23:09,429 --> 00:23:12,349
We're normal.
Just normal people.

503
00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:15,352
Coming to a bar.

504
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:22,818
We should not have come here.

505
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:25,737
You say that anytime
we go anywhere with people.

506
00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:28,031
I was talking about
the sense of impending doom

507
00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:30,283
that's growing in the pit
of my stomach right now!

508
00:23:30,617 --> 00:23:32,744
I'm just saying.
If I never made plans,

509
00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:34,037
we would never go anywhere.

510
00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,706
Congratulations, you made
plans and this happened.

511
00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:53,515
Okay, act normal.

512
00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:55,142
- Love dancing.
- Whoo!

513
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:56,560
Normal-people shit.

514
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:07,445
That has to be her.

515
00:24:08,029 --> 00:24:09,114
Okay, what do we do?

516
00:24:10,657 --> 00:24:12,284
We should go
over there, right?

517
00:24:28,758 --> 00:24:29,759
Edie?

518
00:24:31,052 --> 00:24:32,137
Edie.

519
00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:33,930
- Edie?

520
00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:35,557
Stop talking.

521
00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:37,392
Come with me.

522
00:24:41,104 --> 00:24:43,356
Who are you? He sent you?

523
00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:44,774
Yeah. Um...

524
00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:47,194
Jibran, why don't you explain?

525
00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:50,238
Um... There's sort of not
a good starting point.

526
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,574
He wants to be unprofessional
and send two strangers

527
00:24:52,657 --> 00:24:54,784
instead of coming himself,
that's fine.

528
00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:56,578
Let's just do this
and be done with it.

529
00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:58,246
We just had a question,
and we wanted to know

530
00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,331
if you know a guy
with a mustache?

531
00:24:59,414 --> 00:25:00,415
We don't know
what's going on.

532
00:25:00,498 --> 00:25:01,750
Know a guy
with a mustache?

533
00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:04,419
Okay, drop the act.
It's unbecoming.

534
00:25:04,502 --> 00:25:06,463
There's a way to do this
that's respectable.

535
00:25:10,967 --> 00:25:13,428
And this? This is not that.

536
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,232
Hand 'em over
and this can all end.

537
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:26,650
-What?
-Oh, no.

538
00:25:26,733 --> 00:25:29,069
The pictures.
Give me the envelope.

539
00:25:29,402 --> 00:25:30,737
-What pictures?
- Oh, no.

540
00:25:30,820 --> 00:25:32,489
You guys think
you're the only ones

541
00:25:32,572 --> 00:25:34,366
who can dig up a little dirt?

542
00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:37,661
I know who your boss is.

543
00:25:37,744 --> 00:25:39,537
We don't have a boss.
We don't work together.

544
00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:41,164
We don't know what pictures
you're talking about.

545
00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:43,833
I'm a documentary filmmaker,
she works at an ad agency.

546
00:25:43,917 --> 00:25:45,377
You remember that commercial
where the guy's a nerd

547
00:25:45,460 --> 00:25:46,670
and then he uses
this body wash

548
00:25:46,753 --> 00:25:48,380
and all the girls, like,
wanna fuck him?

549
00:25:48,463 --> 00:25:50,173
-That was her idea!
-That was my idea.

550
00:25:50,257 --> 00:25:51,258
It was based on a true story.

551
00:25:51,341 --> 00:25:52,801
This guy was really nerdy
at my college,

552
00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:54,135
and he would smell good
and then I was like,

553
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:55,220
"I like him now."

554
00:25:55,303 --> 00:25:56,888
She didn't like the way
a guy looked at college,

555
00:25:56,972 --> 00:25:59,015
and then he smelled better
and then she fucked him!

556
00:25:59,099 --> 00:26:01,101
But it's fine,
and we don't know anything!

557
00:26:01,184 --> 00:26:02,602
Oh, yeah, right.

558
00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:04,396
You showed up
at the designated time

559
00:26:04,479 --> 00:26:05,605
and place of the exchange.

560
00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:06,898
Yeah, because
of this guy's phone

561
00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:07,983
and it bing-bonged your name!

562
00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:09,442
We were just trying to go
to our friend's dinner party.

563
00:26:09,526 --> 00:26:10,860
We have nothing
to do with anything.

564
00:26:10,944 --> 00:26:14,281
We just answered
a bing-bong!

565
00:26:15,615 --> 00:26:17,450
-Jibran. Mmm-mmm.
-Huh?

566
00:26:17,534 --> 00:26:19,619
-She's not buying it.
-Oh, okay.

567
00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:21,621
Let's take the guesswork
out here.

568
00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:24,916
You said that
this gentleman's not your boss

569
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,501
-and you don't even know him?
-Uh-huh.

570
00:26:26,584 --> 00:26:29,879
Oh. Why don't we just call him
and see what he has to say?

571
00:26:29,963 --> 00:26:31,381
-Okay. Great.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, call him.

572
00:26:31,464 --> 00:26:33,550
- Mmm-hmm.

573
00:26:37,387 --> 00:26:39,055
Oh, no.

574
00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:41,141
It's not what you think.

575
00:26:41,224 --> 00:26:43,435
Don't pee down my back
and tell me it's raining.

576
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,312
-Why would we do that?
-We would never do that.

577
00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:47,647
If she pees down your back,
she's gonna say it's pee.

578
00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:49,399
You think you can
fuck with a congressman

579
00:26:49,482 --> 00:26:51,943
and get away with it?
You got another thing coming.

580
00:26:54,362 --> 00:26:56,364
-Oh, no!
-Oh! What the fuck?

581
00:26:58,033 --> 00:26:59,576
Did you just tell them
I'm a congressman?

582
00:27:00,493 --> 00:27:02,162
- I--
-Come here. Real quick.

583
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,290
I'll be right back.

584
00:27:08,877 --> 00:27:10,295
What's happening?

585
00:27:10,378 --> 00:27:11,379
Can you get out?

586
00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:13,048
This is
fucking insane.

587
00:27:13,131 --> 00:27:14,466
Take that damn
mask off, Brett.

588
00:27:14,924 --> 00:27:16,217
Are you okay?

589
00:27:17,093 --> 00:27:18,678
Well, it still doesn't
seem like a good idea.

590
00:27:18,762 --> 00:27:20,013
My husband.

591
00:27:20,096 --> 00:27:22,557
He was just about to get me
my pan. Right, hon?

592
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:23,516
I thought we agreed

593
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:24,684
we weren't really
gonna do the pan.

594
00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:27,187
You go get me my goddamn pan!

595
00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:29,939
Hey, just to clarify, we're
not blackmailing anybody.

596
00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:31,316
Excuse me, what is "the pan"?

597
00:27:31,399 --> 00:27:34,861
You tried to fuck us.
Now you're gonna get fucked.

598
00:27:34,944 --> 00:27:36,446
Yeah, okay,
your premise is wrong

599
00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:37,697
because we didn't
try to fuck you.

600
00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:38,907
And we don't
wanna get fucked.

601
00:27:38,990 --> 00:27:40,909
- No.
- Mmm.

602
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:43,912
I just love the smell

603
00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:46,373
of sizzling bacon, don't you?

604
00:27:47,165 --> 00:27:49,376
The only problem
is the grease!

605
00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,252
Y'all ever see
a bad grease burn?

606
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:55,048
It is remarkable the damage
a little hot oil can do.

607
00:27:55,632 --> 00:27:57,842
I'm gonna give you both
a choice, okay?

608
00:27:58,385 --> 00:28:01,304
All the grease in this pan,

609
00:28:01,388 --> 00:28:04,349
or what's behind this door.

610
00:28:05,308 --> 00:28:06,976
-What?
- I said,

611
00:28:07,060 --> 00:28:08,895
bacon grease

612
00:28:08,978 --> 00:28:10,355
or door.

613
00:28:10,438 --> 00:28:11,648
It's up to you.

614
00:28:11,731 --> 00:28:14,275
And you're first,
Mr. Bing-Bong.

615
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:15,568
Take the grease.

616
00:28:16,027 --> 00:28:18,613
Are you serious?
It's boiling hot grease.

617
00:28:18,696 --> 00:28:20,240
And she could pour the grease
on my face!

618
00:28:20,323 --> 00:28:22,075
Edie, may I ask a question?

619
00:28:22,158 --> 00:28:24,285
Do I get to know
prior to making my decision

620
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,662
where you'll be pouring
the grease?

621
00:28:25,912 --> 00:28:28,706
Um, yeah, it'll probably
most definitely be your face.

622
00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:29,791
Thank you.

623
00:28:29,874 --> 00:28:31,584
She said probably my face.

624
00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:33,169
She's obviously
trying to scare you

625
00:28:33,253 --> 00:28:34,921
into choosing something worse.

626
00:28:35,004 --> 00:28:37,298
We're single now. I have to
go out into the dating world.

627
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:38,842
How do you think
I'm gonna do on Bumble?

628
00:28:38,925 --> 00:28:40,135
Scars are super sexy.

629
00:28:40,218 --> 00:28:41,344
Oh, you like burn scars?

630
00:28:41,428 --> 00:28:43,596
After this, I'm gonna seek out
a guy with a burnt face.

631
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:44,848
You promise?

632
00:28:44,931 --> 00:28:46,224
I'm gonna stalk
your Facebook so hard.

633
00:28:46,307 --> 00:28:47,767
And if you're not
with a fucking burn victim,

634
00:28:47,851 --> 00:28:49,519
I'm gonna be so very upset.

635
00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:50,812
Well, thanks for reminding me
to block you.

636
00:28:50,937 --> 00:28:52,230
I'm blocking you
right after this.

637
00:28:52,313 --> 00:28:53,356
Let's make a decision here,
all right?

638
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,191
My husband and I
have plans tonight.

639
00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:58,027
I'll go with not the grease.
I'll go with the door.

640
00:28:58,194 --> 00:28:59,863
-Jibran!
-Door it is.

641
00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:01,406
Tell him what they've won.

642
00:29:01,489 --> 00:29:03,241
No, no, no, no!
Jibran, press your feet!

643
00:29:03,324 --> 00:29:04,492
I am!
I'm planting my feet!

644
00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:05,702
Stop it!
Leave him alone!

645
00:29:06,494 --> 00:29:07,996
- Open the door.
- Yep.

646
00:29:15,128 --> 00:29:16,755
Is it gonna shit on me?

647
00:29:25,138 --> 00:29:26,681
Take the grease.

648
00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:28,016
It's your turn,
little missy.

649
00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:29,559
The grease! The grease!
I take the grease!

650
00:29:29,809 --> 00:29:31,770
A lady who knows
what she wants.

651
00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:34,355
Ow!

652
00:29:35,273 --> 00:29:37,108
No, no, no! No, no, no!

653
00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:41,654
No, no, no, no, no!

654
00:29:41,821 --> 00:29:43,490
Okay, let's see--

655
00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:50,497
Come on, help,
help, help me, help!

656
00:29:50,997 --> 00:29:52,874
Oh, God.
Honey, are you all right?

657
00:29:52,957 --> 00:29:54,000
- No!

658
00:30:06,221 --> 00:30:07,889
Stay back! Stay back!
You stay back!

659
00:30:07,972 --> 00:30:09,098
-You ready?
-Yeah.

660
00:30:09,182 --> 00:30:11,017
One, two, three--

661
00:30:12,435 --> 00:30:13,978
Where are you going?

662
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,357
- Whoa, honey!

663
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,375
What the fuck
just happened?

664
00:30:35,458 --> 00:30:36,626
Dude, I said,
"One, two, three,"

665
00:30:36,709 --> 00:30:38,461
and you, like, ran.

666
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:40,088
Yeah, 'cause that's
what you did in the alley.

667
00:30:40,171 --> 00:30:41,172
You kinda set a precedent.

668
00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:42,173
That's what
I was going off of.

669
00:30:42,257 --> 00:30:43,383
Yeah,
but I assumed you assumed

670
00:30:43,466 --> 00:30:46,177
this time it would be like,
"One, two, three, attack."

671
00:30:46,302 --> 00:30:47,720
Why would I assume that?

672
00:30:47,971 --> 00:30:50,098
Because we had
weapons? I don't know.

673
00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:53,351
I never want to see
a horse again in my life.

674
00:30:59,399 --> 00:31:00,400
Thank you.

675
00:31:08,575 --> 00:31:10,076
What, I look stupid?

676
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:12,078
Kinda like unicorn throw-up?

677
00:31:12,161 --> 00:31:13,454
No, you look...

678
00:31:14,455 --> 00:31:15,665
the opposite.

679
00:31:16,624 --> 00:31:17,750
Unstupid.

680
00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:24,549
Are you okay?

681
00:31:25,633 --> 00:31:26,843
Yeah, I'm fine.

682
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,638
It just hurts a lot right
where the horse kicked me.

683
00:31:33,182 --> 00:31:35,018
Uh... Come with me.

684
00:31:37,353 --> 00:31:38,605
It looks okay? Ow.

685
00:31:38,688 --> 00:31:39,689
-If you could--
-Sorry.

686
00:31:39,772 --> 00:31:42,317
stop tapping right where
the wound is.

687
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:43,860
I'm just trying to help.

688
00:31:43,985 --> 00:31:45,069
Okay.

689
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:46,696
Come on, let's do this.

690
00:31:46,779 --> 00:31:48,740
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

691
00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:53,536
I can't.

692
00:31:53,828 --> 00:31:55,788
I'm just gonna wear this shirt
for the rest of my life.

693
00:31:55,872 --> 00:31:57,749
No, you're not.
Stand up.

694
00:32:00,627 --> 00:32:02,462
Uh, raise your arms.

695
00:32:05,506 --> 00:32:07,675
Okay. One, two, three.

696
00:32:18,269 --> 00:32:19,270
Can I just say this is

697
00:32:19,354 --> 00:32:20,855
the most batshit crazy
night ever?

698
00:32:20,939 --> 00:32:22,440
You've never been
framed for murder

699
00:32:22,523 --> 00:32:23,566
and tortured
with bacon grease?

700
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:26,694
Really?

701
00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:27,987
-It just--
-Really?

702
00:32:28,571 --> 00:32:30,990
-Just be so gentle. Just--
-Okay, I'm sorry.

703
00:32:32,575 --> 00:32:34,202
-I didn't even touch you.

704
00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:48,925
I ordered us a Lyft.

705
00:32:49,759 --> 00:32:51,719
I hope
you changed your settings.

706
00:33:03,064 --> 00:33:05,316
You probably
don't remember this, but,

707
00:33:06,567 --> 00:33:07,568
our first date,

708
00:33:08,319 --> 00:33:09,404
that restaurant,

709
00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:12,407
there was this couple
sitting next to us,

710
00:33:12,615 --> 00:33:13,825
and they didn't talk
the whole--

711
00:33:13,908 --> 00:33:15,118
I remember them.

712
00:33:15,618 --> 00:33:16,953
-You do?
-Yeah.

713
00:33:17,453 --> 00:33:19,747
They didn't say anything
to each other the entire time.

714
00:33:20,123 --> 00:33:22,041
You know, I think about them
all the time.

715
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:24,127
'Cause I was looking at them

716
00:33:24,210 --> 00:33:25,920
like I never
want to be that couple,

717
00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,047
you know, that runs
out of stuff to talk about.

718
00:33:28,339 --> 00:33:29,549
But then the more
I think about them,

719
00:33:29,799 --> 00:33:31,009
the more I'm like...

720
00:33:32,468 --> 00:33:34,262
maybe they weren't miserable.

721
00:33:34,721 --> 00:33:36,139
You know?
Maybe they were just

722
00:33:36,973 --> 00:33:38,725
comfortable with each other.

723
00:33:45,398 --> 00:33:48,276
So my theory about Edie
obviously didn't pan out.

724
00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:51,237
Maybe you were right.

725
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,156
Maybe we should
just go to the cops.

726
00:33:54,615 --> 00:33:56,117
I found something.

727
00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:58,119
What?

728
00:33:59,954 --> 00:34:02,248
The piece of paper that Edie
had with Bicycle's number?

729
00:34:02,498 --> 00:34:03,958
It has an address on it, too.

730
00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:05,418
What? When did you get this?

731
00:34:05,501 --> 00:34:07,462
I was thinking,
maybe Mustache killed Bicycle

732
00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:09,839
because of those pictures
that Edie was talking about.

733
00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:11,799
So if we can
find those pictures,

734
00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:12,884
figure out what they are,

735
00:34:12,967 --> 00:34:14,260
maybe we can
exonerate ourselves.

736
00:34:14,510 --> 00:34:16,554
Mustache was clearly
looking for something,

737
00:34:16,637 --> 00:34:18,681
and Edie was very upset
about those pictures.

738
00:34:18,765 --> 00:34:20,141
-It's a clue, right?
-Yeah!

739
00:34:20,224 --> 00:34:21,309
I did a clue.

740
00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:26,481
Should we go to that address?

741
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,942
You know this is
actually illegal, right?

742
00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:32,028
Breaking into Bicycle's house?

743
00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:33,863
Are you sure?

744
00:34:34,989 --> 00:34:36,365
Are you?

745
00:34:36,574 --> 00:34:37,450
Yeah.

746
00:34:37,533 --> 00:34:39,994
- Oh, that's our guy.

747
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,502
Oh, shit.

748
00:34:51,839 --> 00:34:52,840
Shit.

749
00:34:53,758 --> 00:34:55,468
He knows it's us,
he totally knows it's us.

750
00:34:55,551 --> 00:34:57,011
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

751
00:34:57,095 --> 00:34:59,889
Shit, he's totally onto us.
He's onto us, he's onto us.

752
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:05,144
Oh, he's just
a regular racist.

753
00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:07,021
-Thank God.
-Let's go.

754
00:35:21,285 --> 00:35:22,995
- Shit.

755
00:35:23,871 --> 00:35:26,165
-What?
-How are we gonna get up there?

756
00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:27,750
-What? You just--

757
00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:30,628
Did you think it was one
of those "Men Only" doors?

758
00:35:30,711 --> 00:35:31,712
Sorry.

759
00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:34,215
Maybe...

760
00:35:34,715 --> 00:35:35,883
Maybe there's
one of those, like,

761
00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:36,968
catwalk things
around the side--

762
00:35:37,051 --> 00:35:39,554
A "catwalk"? You mean
like for fashion shows?

763
00:35:39,887 --> 00:35:41,180
Do you mean a fire escape?

764
00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:43,975
Why are you making jokes
right now? This is serious.

765
00:35:44,058 --> 00:35:45,143
Okay. Okay.

766
00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:48,646
Yeah. Break the glass. You go.

767
00:35:48,729 --> 00:35:50,273
-Me go? I'm wearing heels.
-You're wearing heels.

768
00:35:50,356 --> 00:35:52,191
Right. The icepick part
will stab the glass--

769
00:35:52,275 --> 00:35:53,818
The "icepick part"?
Do you mean

770
00:35:54,277 --> 00:35:55,278
the heel?

771
00:35:55,361 --> 00:35:56,779
Yes, the pointy heel
part of the shoe

772
00:35:56,863 --> 00:35:58,573
will break the glass.
It'll go right through it.

773
00:35:58,656 --> 00:36:02,034
No, no. Use your shoulders.
Break the glass.

774
00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:04,620
I just got kicked by a horse.

775
00:36:04,745 --> 00:36:07,206
Can I take five minutes off
from, like, bashing myself?

776
00:36:07,290 --> 00:36:08,833
-Okay, I'm sorry.
-Okay.

777
00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:13,921
I'm just concerned the heel's
just gonna snap off.

778
00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:15,506
No. Not if you do it
exactly perpendicular,

779
00:36:15,590 --> 00:36:16,841
'cause it's a small
surface area. Pressure is--

780
00:36:16,924 --> 00:36:18,676
Okay. How do you know that?

781
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:20,970
<i>MythBusters.</i>

782
00:36:21,971 --> 00:36:23,723
So you do like reality shows.

783
00:36:23,931 --> 00:36:26,100
Eh, it's more of a docuseries.

784
00:36:31,522 --> 00:36:32,773
-Ow! Oops.
- Oh!

785
00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:34,609
Ow!

786
00:36:34,692 --> 00:36:36,819
I remember now.
That myth got busted.

787
00:36:43,075 --> 00:36:44,744
<i>...reportedly</i>
<i>ran over the cyclist</i>

788
00:36:44,827 --> 00:36:45,912
<i>multiple times.</i>

789
00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:47,121
<i>Two witnesses at the scene</i>

790
00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:49,248
<i>are currently being treated</i>
<i>for emotional distress.</i>

791
00:36:53,002 --> 00:36:54,795
I think this is it.

792
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,554
What if there's someone
in there?

793
00:37:03,638 --> 00:37:04,972
Looks empty.

794
00:37:05,723 --> 00:37:06,891
Right, 'cause it's
probably empty

795
00:37:06,974 --> 00:37:08,976
'cause it's Bicycle's
apartment and he's...

796
00:37:09,518 --> 00:37:10,603
-Yeah.
-dead.

797
00:37:10,686 --> 00:37:12,313
Yeah, I was there, Jibran.

798
00:37:12,605 --> 00:37:14,732
-Just try the window.
-Okay.

799
00:37:16,484 --> 00:37:18,402
It's locked.

800
00:37:18,569 --> 00:37:20,571
Okay, your turn to kick it.

801
00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:22,031
My shoes aren't made
for kicking.

802
00:37:22,114 --> 00:37:23,866
Yeah, neither were mine.

803
00:37:25,409 --> 00:37:26,410
In my defense,

804
00:37:26,494 --> 00:37:27,995
the heel on the kicking shoe
didn't break off,

805
00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:29,080
it was the heel
on the standing--

806
00:37:29,163 --> 00:37:30,164
Jibran, I will throw you
down this catwalk.

807
00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:32,416
I shouldn't have said that.
Sorry you broke your shoes.

808
00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:34,460
Thank you,
they were my date shoes.

809
00:37:34,543 --> 00:37:35,878
I didn't know
you had date shoes.

810
00:37:36,796 --> 00:37:38,005
I got 'em for you.

811
00:37:41,467 --> 00:37:44,637
Can you kick this in quietly,
please, since I'm barefoot?

812
00:37:44,762 --> 00:37:46,681
Okay. Okay. Okay.

813
00:37:48,224 --> 00:37:50,142
Okay, okay, here we go,
here we go.

814
00:37:53,771 --> 00:37:56,357
What? What are you doing?
Are you knocking?

815
00:37:56,565 --> 00:37:59,235
No! I just wanna pull back
so I don't cut up my hand.

816
00:37:59,318 --> 00:38:00,653
I make my living
with these hands.

817
00:38:18,212 --> 00:38:19,422
Shit.

818
00:38:29,765 --> 00:38:31,475
Help me,
help me, help me.

819
00:38:33,060 --> 00:38:34,103
-Ow.

820
00:38:39,483 --> 00:38:41,110
-You okay?
-Yes, I'm okay.

821
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:43,070
-Okay.

822
00:38:50,494 --> 00:38:53,080
-Wait, you hear that?
-Hear what?

823
00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:54,707
That.

824
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,752
There's, like,
music happening.

825
00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:01,922
-We should go in there.
-What? No.

826
00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:03,716
What else are we gonna do?
Go back outside?

827
00:39:03,799 --> 00:39:06,385
Okay, okay, okay.
We're just gonna take a peek.

828
00:39:19,523 --> 00:39:20,524
What is--

829
00:39:20,608 --> 00:39:23,110
No, dude.
Shut the fuck up, okay?

830
00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:24,445
I remember this shit
plain as day.

831
00:39:24,528 --> 00:39:26,280
You were the one
that was fucking passed out.

832
00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:27,948
Because I-- No.

833
00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:31,827
No, it was me,
it was Boyd Ashley. Ashley.

834
00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:33,287
And I ate that day

835
00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:34,914
'cause I was
in a bulking phase.

836
00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:37,583
Who are
all these frat dudes?

837
00:39:37,666 --> 00:39:40,002
It's like
a roofie laboratory in there.

838
00:39:40,086 --> 00:39:42,671
Those must be the photos
that Edie was talking about.

839
00:39:44,548 --> 00:39:46,801
He left one of
the envelopes right there.

840
00:39:47,468 --> 00:39:49,303
-We gotta go get it.
-Don't do it!

841
00:39:49,845 --> 00:39:51,806
All those fuckboys
are in there.

842
00:39:51,972 --> 00:39:53,265
I don't exactly know
what that means.

843
00:39:53,349 --> 00:39:55,142
-Did I use it right?
-No, you didn't.

844
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,852
-What are fuckboys?
-I'm not having

845
00:39:56,936 --> 00:39:58,813
this conversation right now
with you. Okay--

846
00:39:58,938 --> 00:40:00,314
No, no, no.

847
00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:01,649
No, it's fine,
they can't hear us.

848
00:40:01,732 --> 00:40:03,734
The music's too loud. Watch.

849
00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:09,949
We need to go in there,

850
00:40:10,032 --> 00:40:11,325
grab one o' those envelopes,

851
00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:12,410
and we figure out
what the fuck is goin' on.

852
00:40:12,493 --> 00:40:14,912
But all the Abercrombie
& Fitch people will see us.

853
00:40:15,746 --> 00:40:18,249
Okay, okay, okay,
we gotta, um...

854
00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:21,252
We gotta come up
with a plan to distract them,

855
00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:22,670
pull them out of there.

856
00:40:23,838 --> 00:40:25,297
I got it! You stay here.

857
00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:26,674
I'll gonna go out,
ring the doorbell.

858
00:40:26,757 --> 00:40:27,758
I'm gonna say,
"Pizza delivery."

859
00:40:30,886 --> 00:40:32,471
Oh, hey, wassup?

860
00:40:32,555 --> 00:40:34,598
Hey, man, it's been a minute.

861
00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,350
Who the fuck are you?

862
00:40:36,434 --> 00:40:38,519
-It's her and me!
-Me and him!

863
00:40:38,644 --> 00:40:39,728
Yes!

864
00:40:39,812 --> 00:40:40,813
From, uh...

865
00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:46,193
- Oh, no.

866
00:40:47,027 --> 00:40:49,238
Get him, Jibran!
Fuck him up, Jibran!

867
00:40:49,321 --> 00:40:52,616
-Fuck him up! Fuck him up!
-I'm trying! Stop saying that!

868
00:40:55,786 --> 00:40:56,954
Tell me when
you want me to jump in.

869
00:40:57,037 --> 00:40:58,998
-You want me to jump in?

870
00:40:59,248 --> 00:41:01,459
This isn't Ultimate Fighting,
Jibran. You can't tap out.

871
00:41:08,048 --> 00:41:09,258
I got you!

872
00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:12,470
-You're hitting me!
-You're in the way. Move!

873
00:41:12,553 --> 00:41:14,054
Hey, help!

874
00:41:14,763 --> 00:41:15,764
Take that!

875
00:41:17,975 --> 00:41:18,976
Oh.

876
00:41:29,737 --> 00:41:31,113
Fuck!

877
00:41:34,283 --> 00:41:36,368
Who the fuck are you?

878
00:41:38,370 --> 00:41:39,622
Who the fuck are we?

879
00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:43,000
We're the people
who want some answers, bitch!

880
00:41:43,751 --> 00:41:46,795
The bigger question is,
who the fuck are you?

881
00:41:47,129 --> 00:41:49,298
What are you doing
in my fucking room?

882
00:41:49,924 --> 00:41:51,675
Um... We're here...

883
00:41:53,385 --> 00:41:55,721
Ow! Why would you do that?

884
00:41:57,681 --> 00:42:00,309
Yeah... Why would we do that?

885
00:42:00,851 --> 00:42:02,394
That's what you wanna know.

886
00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:04,480
We're asking the questions.

887
00:42:04,605 --> 00:42:06,482
And the answers
to our questions

888
00:42:06,565 --> 00:42:07,900
better be answers.

889
00:42:07,983 --> 00:42:09,902
But the answers
to your questions

890
00:42:09,985 --> 00:42:11,070
are gonna be my fists.

891
00:42:11,445 --> 00:42:12,446
What?

892
00:42:12,696 --> 00:42:14,365
-Ow!
-First of all, motherfucker,

893
00:42:14,448 --> 00:42:16,283
-who do you work for?
-Yeah, motherfucker!

894
00:42:16,367 --> 00:42:17,785
I don't know
what you're talking about.

895
00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:19,578
Don't pee down my back
and tell me it's raining.

896
00:42:19,662 --> 00:42:22,164
-Don't do it. Don't do it.
-We don't like it.

897
00:42:22,248 --> 00:42:24,124
-Nope.
-'Cause we know you're lying,

898
00:42:24,333 --> 00:42:26,377
and then we have piss
on our backs.

899
00:42:26,460 --> 00:42:28,045
I would never do that.

900
00:42:28,128 --> 00:42:29,296
So tell us what we wanna know.

901
00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:31,632
Yeah. Do you know Bicycle?

902
00:42:31,715 --> 00:42:34,009
Do I know Bicycle?
What does that mean?

903
00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:36,220
-Bicycle! Two wheels?
-Handlebars?

904
00:42:36,303 --> 00:42:39,181
-Sometimes there's a basket.
-And sometimes there's spokes.

905
00:42:39,265 --> 00:42:42,142
Yeah, ET rode one
and flew in it, bitch!

906
00:42:42,434 --> 00:42:44,478
I know what a bicycle is.
Do you mean Tom?

907
00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:46,564
I don't know.
Do we look like a bitch?

908
00:42:47,064 --> 00:42:48,482
Fine. I work for Tom.

909
00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:49,775
Uh, Tom rides a bicycle.

910
00:42:49,858 --> 00:42:51,151
He's like a weird
environmentalist.

911
00:42:51,235 --> 00:42:54,822
Is environmentalism weird
or is it absolutely necessary?

912
00:42:54,905 --> 00:42:56,949
I recycle everything!

913
00:42:57,032 --> 00:42:58,450
Yeah. Sometimes
she'll try and recycle

914
00:42:58,534 --> 00:42:59,910
eggshells and banana peels,

915
00:42:59,994 --> 00:43:01,912
and I'll be like,
"That's more compost."

916
00:43:01,996 --> 00:43:04,498
Okay, focus back on me,
little Brett Kavanaugh.

917
00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:06,041
What do you do for Tom?

918
00:43:06,125 --> 00:43:07,835
Uh-- Uh--
I'm not supposed to say.

919
00:43:07,918 --> 00:43:09,753
Shut the fuck up and talk,
Chug-A-Lug Chuck!

920
00:43:10,004 --> 00:43:11,046
How am I supposed
to shut the fuck up

921
00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:13,090
and talk at the same time?
That's impossible!

922
00:43:13,173 --> 00:43:15,134
-Figure that shit out!
- Figure it out.

923
00:43:15,217 --> 00:43:17,803
Please, all we do is, we stuff
these envelopes. Okay?

924
00:43:18,053 --> 00:43:19,305
And then we have
to deliver them

925
00:43:19,388 --> 00:43:21,348
-to these, like, rich people.
-What rich people?

926
00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:23,475
I don't-- I don't know, okay?

927
00:43:23,559 --> 00:43:25,978
Uh, he works
at this, like, uh, club.

928
00:43:26,061 --> 00:43:27,229
And these people are...

929
00:43:27,438 --> 00:43:28,522
These people
are dangerous, okay?

930
00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:31,150
You don't want to fuck
with these people, okay?

931
00:43:31,859 --> 00:43:34,862
Ow! I have been
100% cooperating!

932
00:43:34,945 --> 00:43:36,780
I don't like your tone,
Date Rape McGee.

933
00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:44,413
So tell us where the fuck
this club is.

934
00:43:44,496 --> 00:43:46,290
I don't know.
Because they don't tell us.

935
00:43:46,373 --> 00:43:47,499
They said
the less that we know,

936
00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:48,542
the better, okay?

937
00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:50,377
They only contact him
on his phone.

938
00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:57,217
Oh, fuck, Jesus!
Please help, help, please!

939
00:43:57,384 --> 00:43:59,219
Intruders, intruders! Help!

940
00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:00,929
-Oh!
- Hi, Steve.

941
00:44:01,096 --> 00:44:02,348
- Please, don't--

942
00:44:03,766 --> 00:44:04,933
We gotta get out of here.

943
00:44:05,017 --> 00:44:06,477
Come on, this way.

944
00:44:35,047 --> 00:44:36,882
-Shit.

945
00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:41,970
-Hello?

946
00:44:43,847 --> 00:44:45,974
Yeah. I took care
of the problem.

947
00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:52,439
Yeah, he's <i>quod mortem.</i>

948
00:44:53,899 --> 00:44:54,983
Mmm-hmm.

949
00:44:57,152 --> 00:44:58,237
I understand.

950
00:45:00,072 --> 00:45:01,073
Yeah.

951
00:45:02,574 --> 00:45:04,701
Yeah, I'll make sure
it goes smoothly tonight.

952
00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:07,496
You have nothing
to worry about, okay?

953
00:45:07,579 --> 00:45:08,914
Hang on a second.

954
00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:17,548
Go, go, go, go, go.

955
00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:26,098
I can hear you
better now. Go ahead.

956
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:50,164
I just saw two people
get murdered.

957
00:45:50,706 --> 00:45:53,876
Until yesterday, I had seen
zero people get murdered.

958
00:45:54,460 --> 00:45:56,128
That could've easily been us.

959
00:45:56,211 --> 00:45:58,172
Oh, my God, there's blood
on my knuckles.

960
00:45:58,255 --> 00:46:00,466
I left my DNA
at the crime scene.

961
00:46:00,549 --> 00:46:03,218
Shit, I left my fingerprints
on Date Rape's face.

962
00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:05,888
And now I feel really bad
for calling him Date Rape.

963
00:46:06,805 --> 00:46:08,891
The police are gonna think
we killed him, too.

964
00:46:08,974 --> 00:46:11,018
They're gonna think
we're, like, serial killers.

965
00:46:12,227 --> 00:46:13,645
We gotta figure this shit out.

966
00:46:15,147 --> 00:46:16,648
Open it. Open it.

967
00:46:23,238 --> 00:46:24,656
What is this?

968
00:46:28,660 --> 00:46:29,745
What is this?

969
00:46:31,413 --> 00:46:33,415
"Dear Mrs. Burrows,
There are many.

970
00:46:33,499 --> 00:46:34,541
We know you are one."

971
00:46:34,625 --> 00:46:35,834
What else? What else?

972
00:46:40,339 --> 00:46:41,548
That-That's it.

973
00:46:42,090 --> 00:46:44,760
This is like <i>The Amazing Race,</i>
but with dead people.

974
00:46:45,511 --> 00:46:46,512
Wait.

975
00:46:47,221 --> 00:46:48,347
We have to get
into Bicycle's phone.

976
00:46:48,430 --> 00:46:49,890
He said this is how
they contact him.

977
00:46:50,182 --> 00:46:52,518
I'm gonna start guessing
passwords. Important dates.

978
00:46:52,601 --> 00:46:54,853
1-4-9-2. Nope.

979
00:46:54,937 --> 00:46:56,730
-1-7-7-6. Nope.
-Ugh.

980
00:46:56,813 --> 00:46:57,814
What, are you gonna guess

981
00:46:57,898 --> 00:46:59,733
every impressive date
in history? Stop.

982
00:47:00,150 --> 00:47:01,527
Right. He was a bicycle fan.

983
00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:02,986
What was the year
that Lance Armstrong

984
00:47:03,070 --> 00:47:04,780
won his first Tour de France?

985
00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:07,115
-1-9--
-Stop, stop, stop.

986
00:47:07,199 --> 00:47:08,659
Okay? You're gonna lock us
out of the phone

987
00:47:08,742 --> 00:47:10,369
and then we're literally
gonna have nothing else.

988
00:47:10,869 --> 00:47:11,954
Okay.

989
00:47:13,997 --> 00:47:15,958
I know who can get us
into the phone.

990
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:18,460
-Who?
-Keith.

991
00:47:19,211 --> 00:47:21,588
-Keith?
-He's our IT guy, okay?

992
00:47:21,672 --> 00:47:24,091
-Oh, really?
-And he's a genius
at this type of stuff.

993
00:47:24,174 --> 00:47:26,593
Oh, he's a genius? Wow!

994
00:47:27,052 --> 00:47:28,804
You guys are so lucky
to have a genius

995
00:47:28,887 --> 00:47:30,556
working at your office
as the IT guy.

996
00:47:30,639 --> 00:47:31,807
I'm not trying to hype him up.

997
00:47:31,890 --> 00:47:33,809
But if anybody can do it,
he can do it.

998
00:47:33,892 --> 00:47:36,478
Errol Morris is a genius.
JK Rowling is a genius.

999
00:47:36,687 --> 00:47:38,313
You could even say
Lil Wayne is a genius.

1000
00:47:38,397 --> 00:47:39,982
But Keith? Fucking Keith?

1001
00:47:40,065 --> 00:47:41,692
What is your deal with him?
Why are you so--

1002
00:47:41,775 --> 00:47:43,360
I don't like the way
he looks at you.

1003
00:47:43,735 --> 00:47:45,571
He doesn't look at me
like anything.

1004
00:47:46,905 --> 00:47:48,073
Well, then...

1005
00:47:49,533 --> 00:47:51,535
I don't like the way
you look at him.

1006
00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:01,086
Look, do you wanna
get into this phone or not?

1007
00:48:01,169 --> 00:48:03,130
'Cause this could be
our only chance.

1008
00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:12,806
All right. We're gonna
go in for five minutes,

1009
00:48:12,889 --> 00:48:14,600
get the phone unlocked,
and we are leaving.

1010
00:48:14,683 --> 00:48:15,684
No, wait.

1011
00:48:15,767 --> 00:48:16,852
We can't just go in there

1012
00:48:16,935 --> 00:48:18,812
and ask Keith
to hack into a random phone.

1013
00:48:18,895 --> 00:48:20,814
'Cause he's really ethical
about this kind of stuff.

1014
00:48:20,897 --> 00:48:23,900
Oh, he's really ethical,
but he's okay stealing comedy?

1015
00:48:24,067 --> 00:48:25,611
This guy's
a real question mark.

1016
00:48:25,694 --> 00:48:27,738
Help me come up
with something believable.

1017
00:48:30,490 --> 00:48:32,492
- Everyone!

1018
00:48:32,576 --> 00:48:34,161
Look who finally showed up.

1019
00:48:34,244 --> 00:48:37,414
-About fucking time! Hey.

1020
00:48:37,497 --> 00:48:39,124
Sorry we're so late.

1021
00:48:39,541 --> 00:48:41,835
-Oh, hey, Keith is here.
-Hi.

1022
00:48:42,961 --> 00:48:44,880
Oh, my God,
this all looks so good.

1023
00:48:44,963 --> 00:48:47,924
Oh, Reya, you have
outdone yourself!

1024
00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:49,343
Oh, my God!

1025
00:48:49,718 --> 00:48:51,345
Did you try this, guys?

1026
00:48:51,511 --> 00:48:54,973
Oh, my God,
that is to die for!

1027
00:48:55,057 --> 00:48:57,225
These are some of the best--
things we've had.

1028
00:48:57,309 --> 00:48:58,477
Whoa, it's so fresh!

1029
00:48:58,560 --> 00:48:59,978
So these are red,
there's green ones.

1030
00:49:00,062 --> 00:49:01,563
What other pepper colors
do you got?

1031
00:49:01,647 --> 00:49:02,564
There's also yellow.

1032
00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:04,650
I wasn't asking you, Keith.
I was asking Reya.

1033
00:49:05,025 --> 00:49:06,109
Are you guys okay?

1034
00:49:06,193 --> 00:49:07,486
-Us?
-So good.

1035
00:49:07,569 --> 00:49:09,154
-We're fucking great.
-A-OK. One hundred.

1036
00:49:09,237 --> 00:49:10,864
And what the fuck
are you wearing?

1037
00:49:10,947 --> 00:49:11,948
What the fuck am I wearing?

1038
00:49:12,032 --> 00:49:13,450
What the fuck
are you wearing, dude?

1039
00:49:14,242 --> 00:49:15,243
Turtleneck.

1040
00:49:15,661 --> 00:49:17,371
Is that blood on your face?

1041
00:49:17,496 --> 00:49:19,831
And it's a big disgrace.

1042
00:49:20,916 --> 00:49:23,126
We actually do have some news.

1043
00:49:23,293 --> 00:49:24,378
Um...

1044
00:49:24,461 --> 00:49:26,421
-Jibran, tell them.
-We box now.

1045
00:49:28,131 --> 00:49:29,299
Boxing?

1046
00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:32,302
We actually just took a class
before we came here.

1047
00:49:32,386 --> 00:49:36,223
And Jibran boxed outside
of his weight class.

1048
00:49:36,390 --> 00:49:38,058
It was incredible.

1049
00:49:38,141 --> 00:49:40,894
I'm what they call a "bleeder"
in the boxing biz.

1050
00:49:41,269 --> 00:49:43,730
They actually said I could
never be a professional boxer

1051
00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:45,440
because of how much I bleed.

1052
00:49:45,649 --> 00:49:49,111
So the reason you were late
was because you were boxing?

1053
00:49:49,194 --> 00:49:50,654
Yeah!

1054
00:49:51,154 --> 00:49:52,155
Uh...

1055
00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:54,574
Oh, my God,
I have such a good idea!

1056
00:49:54,950 --> 00:49:56,410
Do you guys wanna see

1057
00:49:56,493 --> 00:49:58,453
a video of Jibran
getting knocked out?

1058
00:49:58,537 --> 00:50:00,122
-Yeah, definitely.

1059
00:50:00,455 --> 00:50:02,290
Pull out
your phone, honey.

1060
00:50:05,127 --> 00:50:06,461
Okay.

1061
00:50:07,963 --> 00:50:08,964
What?

1062
00:50:09,047 --> 00:50:12,884
I can't remember my passcode
to my phone.

1063
00:50:13,510 --> 00:50:15,095
Oh, my God! Do you think that

1064
00:50:15,178 --> 00:50:16,805
it's all of the hits
that you took to your head

1065
00:50:16,888 --> 00:50:17,889
while boxing?

1066
00:50:20,517 --> 00:50:21,393
Is it a new passcode?

1067
00:50:21,476 --> 00:50:23,145
No, Keith,
it's not a new passcode!

1068
00:50:23,562 --> 00:50:24,813
Good question, though.

1069
00:50:25,147 --> 00:50:28,442
Oh, my God!
Do I have a brain... brain...

1070
00:50:29,276 --> 00:50:30,402
brain injury?

1071
00:50:30,485 --> 00:50:31,945
Call your doctor.

1072
00:50:32,446 --> 00:50:34,531
Yeah, I'll call Doctor...

1073
00:50:34,656 --> 00:50:36,116
You don't
remember his name!

1074
00:50:36,199 --> 00:50:37,284
His name
is in the phone,

1075
00:50:37,367 --> 00:50:38,618
but I can't
get into the phone,

1076
00:50:38,702 --> 00:50:40,370
-so I can't even google it!
-How do--

1077
00:50:40,454 --> 00:50:43,331
If only we could unlock
the phone. Oh, no...

1078
00:50:43,415 --> 00:50:45,000
-It's okay.
- Huh?

1079
00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:46,543
I can get into your phone.

1080
00:50:46,710 --> 00:50:47,961
Oh, you don't have to do that.

1081
00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:49,838
-I wanna help.
-Okay, let's do it right now!

1082
00:50:55,135 --> 00:50:57,763
This thing's a wreck.
You need a new phone, man.

1083
00:50:57,929 --> 00:50:59,514
You need a new phone.

1084
00:50:59,598 --> 00:51:01,099
-What?
-What?

1085
00:51:01,183 --> 00:51:02,934
-Are you okay?
-Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

1086
00:51:03,018 --> 00:51:04,019
Okay.

1087
00:51:04,561 --> 00:51:05,937
I'm just running
the rainbow tables here,

1088
00:51:06,021 --> 00:51:07,314
about halfway through.

1089
00:51:07,939 --> 00:51:09,399
I was actually gonna run
a brute-force algorithm,

1090
00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:10,609
but this'll be a lot faster.

1091
00:51:10,692 --> 00:51:12,360
It'll be faster, yeah.
Good call.

1092
00:51:12,611 --> 00:51:13,945
Oh, you know about it?

1093
00:51:14,112 --> 00:51:15,781
-Yeah, know all about it.
-Awesome.

1094
00:51:15,947 --> 00:51:18,450
'Cause a brute-force
algorithm would brutally force

1095
00:51:18,784 --> 00:51:21,661
the rhythm of Al Gore,

1096
00:51:22,078 --> 00:51:25,665
uh, while rainbow tables are
sort of more the spectrum of

1097
00:51:26,666 --> 00:51:28,585
Roy G. Biv and all that, so...

1098
00:51:29,252 --> 00:51:30,253
Roy G. Biv?

1099
00:51:30,796 --> 00:51:33,089
Roy Greg Biv.
Discovered rainbows.

1100
00:51:34,299 --> 00:51:36,092
And now he takes up boxing.

1101
00:51:36,176 --> 00:51:37,803
-Reya...

1102
00:51:37,886 --> 00:51:39,513
Jibran and I broke up.

1103
00:51:39,596 --> 00:51:41,097
Oh, my God, are you serious?

1104
00:51:41,848 --> 00:51:44,559
How is that even possible?
You're like
the best couple ever.

1105
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:45,644
Us?

1106
00:51:45,727 --> 00:51:47,771
You and Bobby are the perfect
couple. Are you kidding?

1107
00:51:47,854 --> 00:51:49,981
Oh, no, Bobby and I
fight all the time.

1108
00:51:50,357 --> 00:51:52,901
Yeah, but you guys
have sex constantly.

1109
00:51:52,984 --> 00:51:54,820
Like doing all kinds
of freaky shit.

1110
00:51:54,903 --> 00:51:57,322
Oh, no.
Why would you think that?

1111
00:51:57,405 --> 00:51:58,907
'Cause you post
those hot pictures

1112
00:51:58,990 --> 00:52:01,034
-of you and Bobby in bed.
-Oh.

1113
00:52:01,201 --> 00:52:02,369
Two of my exes follow me.

1114
00:52:02,452 --> 00:52:04,037
I'm just trying
to make them jealous.

1115
00:52:05,330 --> 00:52:06,790
Yeah, it's not...

1116
00:52:07,582 --> 00:52:10,168
So where'd you learn this
stuff? Like, MIT or something?

1117
00:52:10,252 --> 00:52:12,587
Me?  Yeah, right.

1118
00:52:12,671 --> 00:52:15,006
Nothing like that.
You're the fancy one here.

1119
00:52:16,007 --> 00:52:17,008
What?

1120
00:52:17,425 --> 00:52:19,636
Yeah, Leilani's told me
all about you.

1121
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:21,513
Sound like
a very impressive guy.

1122
00:52:23,348 --> 00:52:25,267
-She talks about me?
-Yeah.

1123
00:52:26,017 --> 00:52:28,144
She brags about you
all the time.

1124
00:52:38,613 --> 00:52:39,656
Look at that.

1125
00:52:40,365 --> 00:52:41,366
We're in.

1126
00:52:53,628 --> 00:52:55,755
-Can you do me a favor?
-Yeah, anything.

1127
00:52:55,964 --> 00:52:58,258
Ever since Ji and I broke up,
I've been super emotional,

1128
00:52:58,341 --> 00:53:00,385
and I have
all these dick pics,

1129
00:53:00,468 --> 00:53:03,597
and I just need someone

1130
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:05,974
to hold onto them for me
till I'm emotionally ready.

1131
00:53:06,391 --> 00:53:08,435
-You printed them out?
-I did.

1132
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,145
Just put them--
Don't open 'em.

1133
00:53:10,228 --> 00:53:12,647
Just put them
in a safe place, okay?

1134
00:53:12,939 --> 00:53:14,608
"Senator Burrow"?

1135
00:53:14,733 --> 00:53:16,484
Mmm-hmm,
that's what I call it.

1136
00:53:16,568 --> 00:53:19,029
'Cause he be burrowing
all up in there!

1137
00:53:19,112 --> 00:53:20,989
- Okay.

1138
00:53:21,072 --> 00:53:23,033
And you said
I get freaky and shit.

1139
00:53:23,408 --> 00:53:24,910
Hey! Um...

1140
00:53:25,076 --> 00:53:27,412
-So Keith unlocked my phone.
-Great!

1141
00:53:27,537 --> 00:53:29,289
Yeah, my doctor's at a party.

1142
00:53:29,372 --> 00:53:31,374
He'll see me,
but we have to go right now.

1143
00:53:31,833 --> 00:53:33,084
Okay, let's go.

1144
00:53:33,168 --> 00:53:34,878
We cannot go
dressed like this, though.

1145
00:53:34,961 --> 00:53:36,171
Why not?

1146
00:53:36,713 --> 00:53:39,049
Oh, he's at
a fancy benefit, so...

1147
00:53:39,132 --> 00:53:41,468
Can we borrow some
nice clothes from you, Rey?

1148
00:53:41,551 --> 00:53:43,178
Yeah. Right this way.

1149
00:53:49,225 --> 00:53:50,435
Oh. Yeah.

1150
00:53:50,518 --> 00:53:51,686
What are you doing?

1151
00:53:51,770 --> 00:53:53,063
Turning around
so you can change.

1152
00:53:53,647 --> 00:53:56,441
It's not like you haven't
seen this a million times.

1153
00:53:56,566 --> 00:53:57,651
Okay.

1154
00:54:00,153 --> 00:54:01,947
-Actually, turn around, yeah.
-A little weird.

1155
00:54:04,449 --> 00:54:05,951
Are you ready for this?

1156
00:54:06,034 --> 00:54:08,286
No.
But I'm glad we're together.

1157
00:54:08,370 --> 00:54:09,621
Me, too.

1158
00:54:09,704 --> 00:54:11,748
Listen. If I don't make it,

1159
00:54:11,831 --> 00:54:13,375
you could do
a lot worse than Keith.

1160
00:54:13,458 --> 00:54:15,919
I would never date
anyone who steals comedy.

1161
00:54:26,054 --> 00:54:27,347
You know, I'mma finish
getting dressed outside

1162
00:54:27,430 --> 00:54:28,974
so you can
get dressed in here.

1163
00:54:29,057 --> 00:54:30,058
Okay.

1164
00:54:30,141 --> 00:54:32,394
-Shoes.
-Guess I don't need these.

1165
00:54:32,477 --> 00:54:34,729
-Yeah. Trade you.
-Thanks.

1166
00:54:35,522 --> 00:54:36,940
See you later, crocodile.

1167
00:54:37,273 --> 00:54:38,358
Okay.

1168
00:54:52,998 --> 00:54:54,332
You look great.

1169
00:54:54,833 --> 00:54:55,875
Thank you.

1170
00:54:58,253 --> 00:55:00,463
-Ready?
-Yeah, ready.

1171
00:55:00,714 --> 00:55:01,548
For our doctor's!

1172
00:55:01,631 --> 00:55:02,841
Yeah, my doctor's, with the...

1173
00:55:02,924 --> 00:55:04,175
- Yeah.
- Have a great night!

1174
00:55:04,259 --> 00:55:05,552
four concussions.

1175
00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:11,474
Oh, no.
It's the cops again.

1176
00:55:18,982 --> 00:55:20,150
Ma'am, it's a little
quiet in here.

1177
00:55:20,233 --> 00:55:22,193
Do you mind turning on
some music or something?

1178
00:55:22,277 --> 00:55:24,154
-Yeah. Of course.
-Thank you.

1179
00:55:30,618 --> 00:55:32,370
-What?
-This used to be our jam.

1180
00:55:32,454 --> 00:55:34,289
This has never
once been our jam.

1181
00:55:34,372 --> 00:55:35,707
Do not act like
you don't like this song

1182
00:55:35,790 --> 00:55:36,791
like the rest of the world.

1183
00:55:36,875 --> 00:55:39,002
I do not like this song
like the rest of the world.

1184
00:55:39,711 --> 00:55:43,131
<i>♪ Do you ever feel</i>
<i>Feel so paper thin ♪</i>

1185
00:55:43,465 --> 00:55:45,383
<i>♪ Like a house of cards... ♪</i>

1186
00:55:45,467 --> 00:55:46,718
I know what you're doing.

1187
00:55:46,801 --> 00:55:48,178
Whenever I'm stressed out,
you try and get me

1188
00:55:48,261 --> 00:55:49,888
to sing along to songs,
and it never works.

1189
00:55:49,971 --> 00:55:52,223
It always works.
You just gotta be open to it.

1190
00:55:54,768 --> 00:55:56,895
Don't do this.
Please don't do this.

1191
00:55:56,978 --> 00:55:58,897
I'm just not in the mood.

1192
00:55:59,105 --> 00:56:00,065
<i>♪ There's a spark in you ♪</i>

1193
00:56:00,148 --> 00:56:01,524
Can you just
sing in your head?

1194
00:56:01,608 --> 00:56:05,195
<i>♪ You just gotta ignite</i>
<i>The light ♪</i>

1195
00:56:06,196 --> 00:56:08,948
<i>♪ And let it shine ♪</i>

1196
00:56:09,783 --> 00:56:13,244
<i>♪ Just own the night ♪</i>

1197
00:56:13,328 --> 00:56:16,581
<i>♪ Like the Fourth of July ♪</i>

1198
00:56:16,664 --> 00:56:20,585
♪ <i>'Cause, baby</i>
<i>You're a firework ♪</i>

1199
00:56:20,668 --> 00:56:24,130
<i>♪ Come on, show them</i>
<i>What you're worth ♪</i>

1200
00:56:24,714 --> 00:56:27,884
<i>♪ Make 'em go, "Oh, oh, oh!" ♪</i>

1201
00:56:27,967 --> 00:56:32,013
<i>♪ As you shoot across the sky ♪</i>

1202
00:56:32,472 --> 00:56:36,017
<i>♪ Baby, you're a firework ♪</i>

1203
00:56:36,392 --> 00:56:39,938
<i>♪ Come on,</i>
<i>Let your colors burst ♪</i>

1204
00:56:53,201 --> 00:56:54,285
Phone?

1205
00:56:56,621 --> 00:56:57,914
- Okay.

1206
00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:00,834
Go ahead.

1207
00:57:01,167 --> 00:57:02,627
Oh.  Yeah.

1208
00:57:02,794 --> 00:57:03,878
Thank you.

1209
00:57:16,182 --> 00:57:18,017
Thank you so much.

1210
00:57:34,159 --> 00:57:36,202
What is this place?

1211
00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:38,496
I don't know,
but it's fucking creepy.

1212
00:57:45,503 --> 00:57:47,714
-That's Edie.
-What if she recognizes us?

1213
00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:10,528
Oh, shit.

1214
00:58:14,532 --> 00:58:16,367
Why is it so quiet?

1215
00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:21,956
Hi, can we, um...

1216
00:58:23,082 --> 00:58:24,167
Sorry.

1217
00:58:25,668 --> 00:58:28,505
-Sorry. Thank you.
-Excuse me.

1218
00:58:28,755 --> 00:58:31,132
-Hi.
-Oh, it's so sharp.

1219
00:58:32,050 --> 00:58:35,011
Excuse me. Sorry.

1220
00:58:35,803 --> 00:58:36,888
Sorry.

1221
00:58:51,319 --> 00:58:54,948
We are one.
We are Sacrarium.

1222
00:58:55,448 --> 00:58:59,035
We are many. We are Sacrarium.

1223
00:58:59,244 --> 00:59:01,329
- We are many.
- We are one.

1224
00:59:01,412 --> 00:59:03,748
We are Sacrarium.

1225
00:59:03,831 --> 00:59:04,832
We are one--

1226
00:59:17,178 --> 00:59:18,304
<i>Welcome,</i>

1227
00:59:18,388 --> 00:59:21,641
Membra Autem Sacrarium.

1228
00:59:22,100 --> 00:59:25,687
<i>From the time</i>
<i>of Hermes Trismegistus,</i>

1229
00:59:25,853 --> 00:59:27,522
<i>Hermes the Thrice-Blessed...</i>

1230
00:59:27,605 --> 00:59:30,108
This is some
Illuminati bullshit.

1231
00:59:30,733 --> 00:59:32,026
<i>...to build the pyramids</i>

1232
00:59:32,110 --> 00:59:34,696
<i>to the Hermetic Order</i>
<i>of the Golden Dawn.</i>

1233
00:59:34,779 --> 00:59:35,863
Light the fire
of knowledge.

1234
00:59:35,947 --> 00:59:36,948
L'Eggo my Eggo.

1235
00:59:37,031 --> 00:59:38,116
Where's the beef?

1236
00:59:38,449 --> 00:59:41,786
<i>This unbroken chain of wisdom</i>

1237
00:59:41,953 --> 00:59:45,290
<i>shall be handed down</i>
<i>to ten initiates.</i>

1238
00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:49,168
The few become
many become one.

1239
01:00:05,018 --> 01:00:06,394
<i>Fifty-one.</i>

1240
01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:10,773
Is this Bingo?

1241
01:00:11,190 --> 01:00:12,191
I like Bingo.

1242
01:00:13,693 --> 01:00:14,902
<i>Seventeen.</i>

1243
01:00:18,573 --> 01:00:19,657
<i>Six.</i>

1244
01:00:20,658 --> 01:00:21,993
<i>Twenty-three.</i>

1245
01:00:22,410 --> 01:00:23,703
Did they win?

1246
01:00:24,829 --> 01:00:25,830
<i>Fourteen.</i>

1247
01:00:27,123 --> 01:00:29,083
I don't think
we're supposed to do that.

1248
01:00:29,167 --> 01:00:30,376
<i>Seventy-two.</i>

1249
01:00:33,212 --> 01:00:34,631
<i>Forty-four.</i>

1250
01:00:35,048 --> 01:00:36,382
Where are they going?

1251
01:00:37,467 --> 01:00:38,676
<i>Thirty-four.</i>

1252
01:00:39,510 --> 01:00:40,928
Do we want
our names to be called?

1253
01:00:41,012 --> 01:00:42,430
I don't know.
I don't think so.

1254
01:00:42,513 --> 01:00:45,600
<i>And the final number is...</i>

1255
01:00:48,102 --> 01:00:49,854
<i>Ninety-nine.</i>

1256
01:00:51,439 --> 01:00:53,650
<i>Let the ceremony begin.</i>

1257
01:00:57,362 --> 01:00:59,447
-Oh, no, that's not the vibe.
-Mmm-hmm.

1258
01:01:02,617 --> 01:01:05,036
What is happening?

1259
01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:19,509
I think they're gonna, um...

1260
01:01:20,551 --> 01:01:23,388
Yeah, that's what
I thought was gonna happen.

1261
01:01:26,265 --> 01:01:27,725
No, they didn't.

1262
01:01:27,809 --> 01:01:30,228
-Uh, yes, they did.
-Yes, they did.

1263
01:01:32,939 --> 01:01:34,732
You know, I'm actually
not hating this.

1264
01:01:34,816 --> 01:01:35,983
Yeah, you've made your, um,

1265
01:01:36,067 --> 01:01:37,527
thoughts on orgies
quite clear.

1266
01:01:37,610 --> 01:01:39,362
Do you think they're gonna
call more numbers?

1267
01:01:42,073 --> 01:01:44,659
-This is spontaneous.
-This is not spontaneous!

1268
01:01:44,742 --> 01:01:46,661
I bet all these people had it
on their Google Cal.

1269
01:01:53,835 --> 01:01:55,336
Stop!

1270
01:01:56,838 --> 01:01:58,464
Go away!

1271
01:02:04,470 --> 01:02:06,806
I love that they actually
respect the word "stop."

1272
01:02:13,187 --> 01:02:15,064
There is a traitor

1273
01:02:15,148 --> 01:02:16,774
amongst us.

1274
01:02:18,317 --> 01:02:20,903
A worker has violated

1275
01:02:20,987 --> 01:02:23,239
the most sacred code
of Sacrarium.

1276
01:02:23,865 --> 01:02:27,452
And for this,
he has paid a hefty price.

1277
01:02:27,535 --> 01:02:30,663
He is <i>quod mortem.</i>

1278
01:02:30,747 --> 01:02:32,331
- Jibran, my God.

1279
01:02:32,415 --> 01:02:34,167
They hired Mustache
to kill Bicycle.

1280
01:02:34,625 --> 01:02:36,711
Oh, shit.

1281
01:02:36,794 --> 01:02:37,795
Silence!

1282
01:02:37,879 --> 01:02:38,755
We should
get out of here.

1283
01:02:38,838 --> 01:02:41,799
I have just learned
that this man's barcode

1284
01:02:41,883 --> 01:02:45,762
has been used
to enter Sacrarium tonight.

1285
01:02:45,845 --> 01:02:47,555
It's okay.

1286
01:02:47,638 --> 01:02:51,309
We have imposters
in our ranks.

1287
01:02:53,227 --> 01:02:55,229
Oh, no, imposters. That sucks.

1288
01:02:55,646 --> 01:02:59,317
We must all reveal
our true faces,

1289
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:02,695
so that this imposter
may be rooted out

1290
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:04,489
and dealt with.

1291
01:03:05,114 --> 01:03:07,116
On my count of three,

1292
01:03:07,492 --> 01:03:09,786
unmask yourselves.

1293
01:03:10,369 --> 01:03:11,245
One...

1294
01:03:11,329 --> 01:03:13,080
-Okay, okay, fuck, fuck.
-Are we gonna do it?

1295
01:03:13,164 --> 01:03:14,207
Everyone's gonna
take their mask off.

1296
01:03:14,290 --> 01:03:15,291
Two...

1297
01:03:15,374 --> 01:03:17,084
Fuck, fuck,
we have to do it.

1298
01:03:17,168 --> 01:03:18,377
If everybody else
is doing it.

1299
01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:19,462
Three!

1300
01:03:23,841 --> 01:03:24,967
Oh, fuck.

1301
01:03:25,051 --> 01:03:26,844
A true member knows,

1302
01:03:26,928 --> 01:03:29,263
you never take off your mask.

1303
01:03:30,014 --> 01:03:31,766
Oh, my God,
that's them.

1304
01:03:32,725 --> 01:03:33,601
Go! Go get 'em!

1305
01:03:33,684 --> 01:03:34,727
-Oh, God.
- We are one.

1306
01:03:35,186 --> 01:03:36,854
We are Sacrarium.

1307
01:03:36,938 --> 01:03:39,023
Your burnt offerings

1308
01:03:39,106 --> 01:03:41,234
shall be made to the gods,

1309
01:03:41,317 --> 01:03:43,986
-and it shall replenish them.
-Oh! No! Stop! I'm a bleeder!

1310
01:03:46,614 --> 01:03:47,907
<i>Evacuate.</i>

1311
01:03:49,242 --> 01:03:50,076
<i>Evacuate.</i>

1312
01:03:51,953 --> 01:03:53,204
<i>Evacuate.</i>

1313
01:03:55,206 --> 01:03:56,207
What the fuck?

1314
01:04:02,004 --> 01:04:04,549
What the fuck?
All the fuck people left.

1315
01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:06,217
Are we having the same dream?

1316
01:04:08,261 --> 01:04:10,137
-Um...
-Let's go.

1317
01:04:10,221 --> 01:04:12,056
- Police!
- Go, go, go, go!

1318
01:04:12,139 --> 01:04:14,267
- Oh, my God.
- Go, go, go, go!

1319
01:04:14,892 --> 01:04:17,311
-Freeze! Hands in the air!
- Whoa. Whoa.

1320
01:04:17,395 --> 01:04:18,646
Higher!

1321
01:04:18,729 --> 01:04:21,148
-Higher!
-This is as high as they go.

1322
01:04:23,734 --> 01:04:25,361
<i>Dispatch, that's a 10-95.</i>

1323
01:04:25,444 --> 01:04:27,071
<i>They're in custody.</i>
<i>We're on our way back.</i>

1324
01:04:44,338 --> 01:04:46,340
Detective Martin
will be here shortly.

1325
01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:54,932
It's over. We're done.

1326
01:04:56,809 --> 01:04:58,019
I know.

1327
01:04:59,437 --> 01:05:01,272
I need to tell you something.

1328
01:05:02,899 --> 01:05:03,983
Yeah?

1329
01:05:06,027 --> 01:05:07,737
You remember when you

1330
01:05:07,820 --> 01:05:10,448
went out of town
for Ben's bachelor party?

1331
01:05:10,948 --> 01:05:12,617
You ate
all the peanut brittle.

1332
01:05:12,783 --> 01:05:13,993
No.

1333
01:05:14,869 --> 01:05:15,870
Yeah.

1334
01:05:17,371 --> 01:05:18,789
I snuck into your office

1335
01:05:18,873 --> 01:05:20,875
and I watched
your documentary.

1336
01:05:21,292 --> 01:05:23,669
-You did what?
-I know, I'm sorry.

1337
01:05:24,879 --> 01:05:26,297
But can I just say that

1338
01:05:27,298 --> 01:05:29,467
it was really good.

1339
01:05:33,471 --> 01:05:34,513
Why didn't you say something?

1340
01:05:34,889 --> 01:05:36,933
Jibran, honestly, sometimes...

1341
01:05:38,142 --> 01:05:40,311
I feel like you don't care
what I think.

1342
01:05:43,773 --> 01:05:45,483
I care so much
about what you think.

1343
01:05:45,650 --> 01:05:47,068
That's why I didn't
wanna show it to you.

1344
01:05:47,151 --> 01:05:48,903
I was afraid
you wouldn't like it.

1345
01:05:49,612 --> 01:05:51,197
You know, you've had
your life figured out

1346
01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:52,782
since the moment we met.

1347
01:05:53,741 --> 01:05:56,702
I always felt like you could
do so much better than me.

1348
01:06:01,123 --> 01:06:02,625
You know, honestly, I...

1349
01:06:03,084 --> 01:06:05,544
I feel like I don't have
anything figured out.

1350
01:06:05,628 --> 01:06:07,254
Like, zero.

1351
01:06:09,298 --> 01:06:10,466
But I was so obsessed

1352
01:06:10,549 --> 01:06:11,926
with what
everybody else thought,

1353
01:06:12,009 --> 01:06:14,971
except the one person
that I care about the most.

1354
01:06:18,474 --> 01:06:20,393
I just want you to be happy.

1355
01:06:22,770 --> 01:06:24,605
I want you to be happy, too.

1356
01:06:29,568 --> 01:06:32,613
We'll still be friends,
laying out at the trial.

1357
01:06:33,531 --> 01:06:35,116
Oh, no, I took a deal.

1358
01:06:35,199 --> 01:06:36,659
-What?
-Nobody told you?

1359
01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:39,787
Wait, but I thought
we'd have the same lawyer.

1360
01:06:39,870 --> 01:06:41,622
I'm a rat all day.

1361
01:06:41,706 --> 01:06:43,374
-It's done?
- Yeah, it's done.

1362
01:06:43,457 --> 01:06:44,291
Ah, shit.

1363
01:06:44,375 --> 01:06:47,211
I like them. I don't think
they should break up.

1364
01:06:47,878 --> 01:06:49,755
Relationships are
a motherfucker.

1365
01:06:50,131 --> 01:06:51,215
Yeah.

1366
01:07:13,446 --> 01:07:15,573
We've been looking for you
all over this city.

1367
01:07:18,909 --> 01:07:20,619
You guys are key witnesses
on a homicide,

1368
01:07:20,703 --> 01:07:22,329
and the suspect
is still on the loose.

1369
01:07:24,665 --> 01:07:25,666
What?

1370
01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:27,209
We've been trying
to track you down all night

1371
01:07:27,293 --> 01:07:28,419
to make sure you were safe.

1372
01:07:28,836 --> 01:07:30,129
We tried calling your phone
several times.

1373
01:07:30,212 --> 01:07:31,213
Wait, I'm sorry.

1374
01:07:31,297 --> 01:07:33,382
You don't think
we're the murderers?

1375
01:07:33,591 --> 01:07:34,675
No.

1376
01:07:35,092 --> 01:07:36,010
There were traffic cameras

1377
01:07:36,093 --> 01:07:37,094
that caught
the entire pursuit.

1378
01:07:37,178 --> 01:07:38,512
-Uh-huh.
-I can't believe this.

1379
01:07:38,721 --> 01:07:39,805
We're trying to
ID the individual

1380
01:07:39,889 --> 01:07:41,348
who carjacked your vehicle.

1381
01:07:41,766 --> 01:07:44,143
We know that he's responsible
for this incident as well as

1382
01:07:44,226 --> 01:07:46,854
multiple homicides
at the St. Charles Apartments.

1383
01:07:46,937 --> 01:07:49,356
-A bunch of dead frat guys.
-Uh-- Okay--

1384
01:07:50,566 --> 01:07:51,984
Just to be clear,

1385
01:07:53,110 --> 01:07:57,406
we are not suspects
in a murder/homicide.

1386
01:07:57,490 --> 01:07:59,325
-You know we didn't do this.
-We didn't do it.

1387
01:07:59,408 --> 01:08:00,868
-And you know it.
-Of course you didn't do it.

1388
01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:02,578
Why would two civilians

1389
01:08:02,661 --> 01:08:04,622
violently murder a man
they've never even met?

1390
01:08:04,705 --> 01:08:07,291
-Like, why would we...

1391
01:08:07,374 --> 01:08:09,668
-It doesn't make sense.
-It doesn't make any sense.

1392
01:08:09,752 --> 01:08:11,587
Oh, my God!

1393
01:08:11,670 --> 01:08:12,838
That's right.

1394
01:08:12,922 --> 01:08:15,091
I promise I have
never killed anyone.

1395
01:08:15,299 --> 01:08:17,635
And I promise to never
kill anyone, Scout's honor.

1396
01:08:17,718 --> 01:08:19,428
-Never. Never kill anybody.
-Never kill.

1397
01:08:19,512 --> 01:08:22,348
Have I thought about killing
people? Like Jibran?

1398
01:08:22,431 --> 01:08:23,974
All the time.
But I would never--

1399
01:08:24,058 --> 01:08:25,601
-But that's in a normal way!
-No--

1400
01:08:25,810 --> 01:08:27,269
She would never act on it.

1401
01:08:27,353 --> 01:08:28,354
In the way where I'm like,

1402
01:08:28,437 --> 01:08:30,314
"I will kill you,
I will wring your neck!"

1403
01:08:30,397 --> 01:08:31,649
But not in the real
murder way.

1404
01:08:31,732 --> 01:08:32,733
Not physically.

1405
01:08:32,817 --> 01:08:34,318
I have rolled through
stop signs

1406
01:08:34,401 --> 01:08:35,736
almost every day of my life,

1407
01:08:35,820 --> 01:08:38,072
but not in a dangerous way.

1408
01:08:38,155 --> 01:08:41,367
I used to sell, uh,
my uncle's edibles.

1409
01:08:41,534 --> 01:08:43,494
He was always like,
"It's legal in Amsterdam."

1410
01:08:43,577 --> 01:08:44,995
He could not point
to Amsterdam on a map, but--

1411
01:08:45,079 --> 01:08:46,872
She did not sell them
in Amsterdam.

1412
01:08:46,956 --> 01:08:48,165
She did sell them here.

1413
01:08:48,249 --> 01:08:50,918
But to help people get high.

1414
01:08:51,001 --> 01:08:53,003
Just glaucoma
and things like that.

1415
01:08:53,087 --> 01:08:54,588
Yes, mostly.
She did make

1416
01:08:54,672 --> 01:08:56,924
some money at a time
when we did need some money.

1417
01:08:57,007 --> 01:08:59,260
We needed to pay some bills.
Wait, I'm sorry.

1418
01:08:59,677 --> 01:09:03,264
So, did you guys catch
the... the cult people?

1419
01:09:03,347 --> 01:09:04,723
The cult in
the theater with the people

1420
01:09:04,807 --> 01:09:06,934
with the masks
and everybody was... sex.

1421
01:09:07,184 --> 01:09:08,185
The lucky people had sex.

1422
01:09:08,477 --> 01:09:09,478
They would go
on the round bed--

1423
01:09:09,562 --> 01:09:10,396
There was music.

1424
01:09:10,646 --> 01:09:12,606
-Yeah, they were having sex.
-In a very public place.

1425
01:09:12,690 --> 01:09:14,024
Some people
were putting in work.

1426
01:09:14,108 --> 01:09:15,151
There was a big round bed.

1427
01:09:15,276 --> 01:09:16,527
Some people got right to it.

1428
01:09:16,610 --> 01:09:18,988
They were... I will agree
they were putting in work.

1429
01:09:19,155 --> 01:09:20,656
Yeah,
we saw all of that.

1430
01:09:20,739 --> 01:09:23,868
And let me tell you, sis,
it was a sight.

1431
01:09:24,368 --> 01:09:25,744
That's super helpful,

1432
01:09:25,995 --> 01:09:27,872
but we know
all about Sacrarium.

1433
01:09:27,955 --> 01:09:29,081
We've been tracking them
for months,

1434
01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:30,291
and the raid tonight
was supposed to

1435
01:09:30,374 --> 01:09:31,458
shut them down for good,

1436
01:09:31,542 --> 01:09:33,544
but somebody tipped them off
that we were coming.

1437
01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:36,088
Look,

1438
01:09:36,297 --> 01:09:39,008
you guys witnessed
some horrific things.

1439
01:09:39,633 --> 01:09:41,260
Eventually, we're gonna
need your statements,

1440
01:09:41,343 --> 01:09:43,345
but I really think
that you two

1441
01:09:43,429 --> 01:09:45,556
would benefit from some sleep.

1442
01:09:45,890 --> 01:09:47,850
So why don't you come back
first thing in the morning

1443
01:09:47,933 --> 01:09:49,852
and we'll get
your statements then.

1444
01:09:50,186 --> 01:09:52,271
One of our guys out back
will take you home.

1445
01:09:52,354 --> 01:09:53,606
And we'll keep an eye
on your place

1446
01:09:53,689 --> 01:09:56,400
to make sure you're safe until
the suspect is apprehended.

1447
01:09:57,109 --> 01:09:57,943
Thank you so much.

1448
01:09:58,027 --> 01:09:59,153
This has been
a good experience.

1449
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:00,613
- I hope so.
-Thank you for everything.

1450
01:10:00,696 --> 01:10:02,198
Is there a comment card?
'Cause I'm doing five.

1451
01:10:02,406 --> 01:10:03,407
Fives down the line.

1452
01:10:03,490 --> 01:10:04,658
Yeah, I would love
to just-- Okay?

1453
01:10:15,586 --> 01:10:17,546
So, that's it?

1454
01:10:17,796 --> 01:10:21,050
We just go back
to our normal lives?

1455
01:10:21,342 --> 01:10:22,635
Like nothing happened?

1456
01:10:23,844 --> 01:10:25,221
I guess so.

1457
01:10:31,685 --> 01:10:32,686
Um...

1458
01:10:34,855 --> 01:10:36,649
I could sleep
on the couch tonight.

1459
01:10:36,732 --> 01:10:39,777
Oh, no, no, no. We can...
We can trade off.

1460
01:10:39,944 --> 01:10:42,112
No, you should have the bed.

1461
01:10:49,828 --> 01:10:51,413
This is crazy.
I know we didn't, like,

1462
01:10:51,497 --> 01:10:53,624
solve the crime or whatever,

1463
01:10:53,707 --> 01:10:55,542
but we got really close.

1464
01:10:56,085 --> 01:10:57,294
I'm proud of us.

1465
01:10:58,295 --> 01:11:00,339
Hey, not bad
for a couple rookies.

1466
01:11:02,049 --> 01:11:03,968
You know, the one thing
I can't figure out is,

1467
01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:06,387
who called the cops?

1468
01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:07,888
I did.

1469
01:11:10,724 --> 01:11:12,059
Remember me?

1470
01:11:12,643 --> 01:11:14,561
How did you get in this car?

1471
01:11:14,645 --> 01:11:15,896
I told you I was a cop.

1472
01:11:16,397 --> 01:11:18,524
I've been on the force
for about 13 years.

1473
01:11:18,607 --> 01:11:20,776
I'm actually kind of
a big deal over there.

1474
01:11:21,485 --> 01:11:23,904
And you're a member
of the sex cult, too?

1475
01:11:24,196 --> 01:11:25,197
Nah, they pay me

1476
01:11:25,281 --> 01:11:26,365
to keep 'em safe
from the police.

1477
01:11:26,657 --> 01:11:29,368
Wait, so you were protecting
the sex cult

1478
01:11:30,619 --> 01:11:32,454
and also blackmailing
its members?

1479
01:11:32,788 --> 01:11:34,164
As a matter of fact, I was.

1480
01:11:34,248 --> 01:11:36,500
Do you know how much
this fucking city pays me?

1481
01:11:36,667 --> 01:11:39,128
I put my life on the line
every single day

1482
01:11:39,211 --> 01:11:41,255
and the government
tosses pennies at me.

1483
01:11:41,797 --> 01:11:43,215
But you know
what is fucked up?

1484
01:11:44,675 --> 01:11:46,468
That guy on the bicycle?

1485
01:11:46,552 --> 01:11:48,846
The one I ran over
several times with your car?

1486
01:11:49,013 --> 01:11:50,014
-I remember. You remember?
-Mmm-hmm.

1487
01:11:50,097 --> 01:11:51,181
Yeah, we remember.

1488
01:11:51,473 --> 01:11:52,683
That was my friend.

1489
01:11:53,684 --> 01:11:57,688
Me and him, we come up with
the blackmail-the-cult scheme.

1490
01:11:58,272 --> 01:12:01,692
But he got too greedy.
Stopped giving me my full cut.

1491
01:12:01,775 --> 01:12:03,152
And then, against
my better judgment,

1492
01:12:03,235 --> 01:12:05,654
he brought those
ignorant frat boys onboard.

1493
01:12:05,821 --> 01:12:08,574
Sir, if I may,
we don't know anything,

1494
01:12:08,657 --> 01:12:10,409
and we have terrible memories.

1495
01:12:10,492 --> 01:12:12,536
So please just let us go,
you can trust us.

1496
01:12:12,619 --> 01:12:14,830
Lady, I don't trust anyone.
Here's a little tip:

1497
01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:17,750
The world is out to get you.

1498
01:12:18,042 --> 01:12:20,627
The only one
who's got your back

1499
01:12:20,794 --> 01:12:21,879
is you.

1500
01:12:22,838 --> 01:12:24,840
-You're wrong.
-That's not true.

1501
01:12:25,758 --> 01:12:28,510
I trusted someone. One person.

1502
01:12:29,970 --> 01:12:31,138
Siobhan.

1503
01:12:31,555 --> 01:12:33,849
I will never trust
anyone again.

1504
01:12:34,558 --> 01:12:35,893
Never.

1505
01:12:36,310 --> 01:12:38,437
You come into this world alone

1506
01:12:38,520 --> 01:12:40,606
and you leave
this world alone.

1507
01:12:40,689 --> 01:12:42,691
Which is what you two
are about to find out.

1508
01:12:54,244 --> 01:12:55,662
Look,

1509
01:12:56,330 --> 01:12:57,539
I'm sorry
I have to kill you guys.

1510
01:12:57,623 --> 01:13:00,793
You seem like a nice, though
somewhat annoying couple.

1511
01:13:00,876 --> 01:13:02,628
But if it makes you feel
any better,

1512
01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:04,088
I will get over it.

1513
01:13:04,171 --> 01:13:05,672
You don't
have to do this, okay?

1514
01:13:05,798 --> 01:13:07,549
You're not a killer,
you're a good person.

1515
01:13:08,050 --> 01:13:10,219
-I can see it in your eyes.
-Your eyes are so kind.

1516
01:13:10,302 --> 01:13:11,553
They're luminous.

1517
01:13:11,804 --> 01:13:14,348
Do you know how many people
I have killed today?

1518
01:13:14,723 --> 01:13:16,475
Uh-- I would say
you've killed, like,

1519
01:13:16,558 --> 01:13:18,352
exactly the right number
of people.

1520
01:13:18,435 --> 01:13:19,520
I wouldn't add to it,

1521
01:13:19,686 --> 01:13:21,355
'cause right now,
the number of people

1522
01:13:21,438 --> 01:13:24,024
you've killed is impressive,
but not, like, worrying.

1523
01:13:24,108 --> 01:13:25,359
Also, you killed a guy
on a bicycle

1524
01:13:25,442 --> 01:13:26,610
and a bunch of frat boys.

1525
01:13:26,693 --> 01:13:27,778
Who's kidding who?

1526
01:13:27,861 --> 01:13:28,987
You're practically
a folk hero.

1527
01:13:29,154 --> 01:13:30,739
That was
a rhetorical question.

1528
01:13:31,573 --> 01:13:33,075
Never too late to change.

1529
01:13:33,158 --> 01:13:35,119
Maybe if you do,
you can find a new Siobhan.

1530
01:13:35,202 --> 01:13:37,996
Did I say that you could talk
about Siobhan?

1531
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:39,331
I thought you were sharing
and thought

1532
01:13:39,415 --> 01:13:40,707
it was an open invitation,
but I wasn't--

1533
01:13:40,791 --> 01:13:42,000
Listen,
Siobhan is clearly a tramp.

1534
01:13:42,084 --> 01:13:43,127
You, too!

1535
01:13:43,502 --> 01:13:45,421
Take her name
out of your mouth!

1536
01:13:45,754 --> 01:13:48,173
I will never say
the name Siobhaaa again.

1537
01:13:48,298 --> 01:13:49,466
She's dead to me.
I don't even--

1538
01:13:49,550 --> 01:13:50,551
- She sucks.

1539
01:13:50,634 --> 01:13:51,635
Shut up.

1540
01:13:55,180 --> 01:13:56,723
He clearly isn't over Siobhan.

1541
01:13:59,226 --> 01:14:01,395
Turn around. Put your hands
behind your back.

1542
01:14:02,438 --> 01:14:05,232
You lay a hand on her
and I'll kick your ass, dude.

1543
01:14:06,733 --> 01:14:08,485
- Turn around.
-Yes, sir.

1544
01:14:10,904 --> 01:14:12,739
They have traffic cam footage
of you, man.

1545
01:14:12,865 --> 01:14:14,158
You're so fucked.

1546
01:14:14,241 --> 01:14:15,409
Nah, I saw it.

1547
01:14:15,492 --> 01:14:16,660
It's very grainy.

1548
01:14:16,743 --> 01:14:19,037
It's like, uh,
Bigfoot footage.

1549
01:14:21,707 --> 01:14:23,667
Jibran, we can't just sit here
waiting to be killed, okay?

1550
01:14:23,750 --> 01:14:24,918
-We need to do something.
-Okay.

1551
01:14:25,002 --> 01:14:26,962
-Help me figure something out.
-Okay, okay.

1552
01:14:27,045 --> 01:14:29,923
Um... Here,
uh, loosen my ties.

1553
01:14:30,549 --> 01:14:31,967
-Can you do it?
-I can barely reach it.

1554
01:14:32,050 --> 01:14:34,094
Okay,
it's just getting tighter. Ow.

1555
01:14:34,178 --> 01:14:35,471
I'm sorry. Okay, try me.

1556
01:14:35,554 --> 01:14:37,181
-Is it working?
-No. Oh, fuck!

1557
01:14:37,347 --> 01:14:38,557
I'm gonna try
kicking this.

1558
01:14:40,851 --> 01:14:42,019
Oh, shit.

1559
01:14:42,102 --> 01:14:44,146
I wish I was
wearing your date shoes.

1560
01:14:44,229 --> 01:14:46,148
Jibran, the lighter!
The cigarette lighter!

1561
01:14:46,231 --> 01:14:48,358
That's what's it there for!
Go, go.

1562
01:14:48,859 --> 01:14:50,777
-Yeah, you can do it.

1563
01:14:54,865 --> 01:14:56,617
Okay, that's kind of hot.

1564
01:14:58,702 --> 01:14:59,745
Does he see us?

1565
01:14:59,828 --> 01:15:01,246
My God,
he's laying down plastic.

1566
01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:02,331
Oh, shit, shit.

1567
01:15:02,414 --> 01:15:03,916
-Has it popped out yet?
-No.

1568
01:15:03,999 --> 01:15:06,210
- What about now?
-Okay. Okay.

1569
01:15:06,502 --> 01:15:08,045
Come on. Hurry up.

1570
01:15:08,670 --> 01:15:10,506
Get it, get it, get it.
Get it, get it, get it.

1571
01:15:10,589 --> 01:15:12,549
- Close your eyes.
-Come on, come on.

1572
01:15:13,258 --> 01:15:15,385
Get the plastic, not my hands!

1573
01:15:20,807 --> 01:15:22,434
Drop it, drop it.
Ow! Ahh!

1574
01:15:22,518 --> 01:15:24,603
-I had it in my mouth, okay?
-Yeah, but you didn't have

1575
01:15:24,686 --> 01:15:26,230
-the hot end in your mouth.
-Hurry up!

1576
01:15:27,356 --> 01:15:28,482
Hold, up, hold up,
he's looking at us.

1577
01:15:28,565 --> 01:15:29,942
He's looking at us. Hold on.

1578
01:15:31,318 --> 01:15:33,904
Okay, put it back.
Put it back. Put it back.

1579
01:15:36,156 --> 01:15:37,491
Out of the car.

1580
01:15:38,742 --> 01:15:41,537
They're gonna get you.
They know you drove us.

1581
01:15:41,828 --> 01:15:43,830
No, they're
not gonna suspect me.

1582
01:15:43,914 --> 01:15:45,707
When I drove you guys
to your apartment,

1583
01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:48,252
the real killer
jumped out of the bushes

1584
01:15:48,335 --> 01:15:49,836
and hit me over the head!

1585
01:15:50,295 --> 01:15:52,130
When I woke up, there I was,

1586
01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:54,091
tied up in the back
of my own squad car

1587
01:15:54,174 --> 01:15:56,093
with you guys
here at the marina.

1588
01:15:58,053 --> 01:15:59,221
Watch your step.

1589
01:16:01,181 --> 01:16:04,017
And then the killer made us
get on the boat.

1590
01:16:04,685 --> 01:16:06,478
That's right. All three of us.

1591
01:16:06,770 --> 01:16:08,564
And you remember
what happened next.

1592
01:16:09,189 --> 01:16:11,441
He made us all kneel down.
Go ahead.

1593
01:16:13,068 --> 01:16:15,362
I jumped up
and tried to save you guys.

1594
01:16:15,445 --> 01:16:17,656
And in the scuffle,
I was shot.

1595
01:16:17,823 --> 01:16:20,450
I wasn't mortally wounded,
but I had to watch in horror

1596
01:16:20,826 --> 01:16:22,578
as the masked killer

1597
01:16:22,869 --> 01:16:25,038
executed you both with my gun.

1598
01:16:25,122 --> 01:16:26,498
Anyway,
let's get this over with.

1599
01:16:27,749 --> 01:16:28,917
Eenie...

1600
01:16:29,334 --> 01:16:30,335
No.

1601
01:16:30,627 --> 01:16:31,628
Eenie,

1602
01:16:32,754 --> 01:16:34,089
meenie,

1603
01:16:34,798 --> 01:16:35,799
miney...

1604
01:16:45,809 --> 01:16:46,977
Hey, Mustache.

1605
01:16:56,486 --> 01:16:57,779
Okay, okay.

1606
01:16:59,948 --> 01:17:01,783
Oh, fuck.

1607
01:17:02,034 --> 01:17:04,244
- Oh, no, no, no.
-Oh, shit.

1608
01:17:04,661 --> 01:17:06,830
Go ahead. Shoot me.

1609
01:17:07,831 --> 01:17:09,458
Right here in the shoulder
would be good.

1610
01:17:09,541 --> 01:17:11,585
That way I don't
have to shoot myself.

1611
01:17:11,835 --> 01:17:13,545
Drop the gun
or I'll break his neck.

1612
01:17:13,795 --> 01:17:16,757
You can't break his neck.
It-It-It's too thick.

1613
01:17:17,007 --> 01:17:20,010
I'll just twist until
something bad happens.

1614
01:17:20,093 --> 01:17:21,178
From where I'm sitting,

1615
01:17:21,261 --> 01:17:22,095
he's super convincing.

1616
01:17:22,346 --> 01:17:23,555
He can't hurt you.

1617
01:17:24,139 --> 01:17:26,308
I bet he can do it
quite easily.

1618
01:17:26,892 --> 01:17:28,602
- Drop it.
-Leilani, listen to him.

1619
01:17:28,685 --> 01:17:29,686
Put the gun down.

1620
01:17:29,770 --> 01:17:30,771
You don't have a shot.

1621
01:17:30,854 --> 01:17:32,105
-Just put it down.
-I do have a shot.

1622
01:17:32,230 --> 01:17:34,232
Why are you arguing with me
about this?

1623
01:17:34,316 --> 01:17:35,525
Because you think
you're always right,

1624
01:17:35,609 --> 01:17:36,860
and you're wrong
about this, okay?

1625
01:17:36,943 --> 01:17:38,445
I'm supposed to listen
to someone who's never

1626
01:17:38,528 --> 01:17:40,238
held a gun before,
and I'm the know-it-all?

1627
01:17:40,322 --> 01:17:41,615
-You refuse to take risks!
- Guys--

1628
01:17:41,698 --> 01:17:42,616
This is a prime example.

1629
01:17:42,699 --> 01:17:43,867
-You're the reason we're here!
-Guys--

1630
01:17:43,950 --> 01:17:45,327
-This is your fault!
-Guys!

1631
01:17:45,410 --> 01:17:46,662
Do you really wanna do this
right now?

1632
01:17:46,745 --> 01:17:48,538
Oh, my God.
I wanted to go to the police!

1633
01:17:48,789 --> 01:17:49,956
You were driving the car!

1634
01:17:50,248 --> 01:17:51,708
I got kicked by a horse
for you!

1635
01:17:51,792 --> 01:17:52,918
-Oh, my God.
- You just ran from

1636
01:17:53,001 --> 01:17:54,544
-a dead body and left me.
-You guys are so annoying.

1637
01:17:54,628 --> 01:17:56,088
I am alone
in this relationship.

1638
01:17:56,171 --> 01:17:57,756
You watched my movie
without asking me!

1639
01:17:57,964 --> 01:17:58,965
Nobody cares about your shit.

1640
01:17:59,049 --> 01:18:00,133
Stop! You sound like
my parents!

1641
01:18:00,217 --> 01:18:01,843
Understand what I'm doing
for once!

1642
01:18:01,968 --> 01:18:03,011
Be with me on something!

1643
01:18:03,095 --> 01:18:04,096
-One, two, three!
-Go!

1644
01:18:06,723 --> 01:18:08,350
-shit.

1645
01:18:09,518 --> 01:18:10,936
-Jibran, are you okay?
-Yeah.

1646
01:18:11,019 --> 01:18:12,020
Oh, shit.

1647
01:18:16,108 --> 01:18:17,067
Oh, my God.

1648
01:18:49,349 --> 01:18:50,517
Thanks to you guys,

1649
01:18:50,600 --> 01:18:53,019
we have the suspect
in custody. You're safe now.

1650
01:19:00,736 --> 01:19:02,112
Sure you're okay?

1651
01:19:02,195 --> 01:19:03,780
Yeah, I'm okay. Are you?

1652
01:19:04,114 --> 01:19:05,115
Yeah.

1653
01:19:06,199 --> 01:19:07,284
You know, I knew
you were gonna do that

1654
01:19:07,367 --> 01:19:09,202
"one, two, three" thing,
even though it didn't work

1655
01:19:09,286 --> 01:19:11,163
any other time.

1656
01:19:11,246 --> 01:19:12,497
-You did everything.
-No, it was equal.

1657
01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:13,582
-You did.
-It was equal!

1658
01:19:13,790 --> 01:19:15,542
-You shot him!
-I know. Don't--

1659
01:19:15,625 --> 01:19:17,586
-That was amazing.
-I would rather forget that.

1660
01:19:17,669 --> 01:19:18,837
Don't ever shoot anyone
ever again.

1661
01:19:18,920 --> 01:19:20,505
I will never shoot anyone
ever again.

1662
01:19:23,341 --> 01:19:25,177
-What?
-I didn't say anything.

1663
01:19:25,260 --> 01:19:26,386
I know that face.

1664
01:19:27,137 --> 01:19:28,054
What face?

1665
01:19:28,138 --> 01:19:29,598
It's the
"I wanna kiss you" face.

1666
01:19:29,681 --> 01:19:31,391
-No, no. No, I don't--
-Yes, it is.

1667
01:19:31,475 --> 01:19:32,809
-I don't wanna kiss you.
-Oh.

1668
01:19:33,310 --> 01:19:35,937
I don't, so--
You're very arrogant. Gross.

1669
01:19:36,021 --> 01:19:37,314
Oh, gross?

1670
01:19:37,397 --> 01:19:39,691
Wow, you wanna kiss me so bad,

1671
01:19:39,775 --> 01:19:41,568
like, with tongue
and everything. I can tell.

1672
01:19:41,651 --> 01:19:42,778
You are projecting.

1673
01:19:42,861 --> 01:19:44,529
-Oh, okay.
-I think you wanna kiss me.

1674
01:19:44,613 --> 01:19:46,281
-I wanna kiss you?
-You wanna kiss me.

1675
01:19:46,364 --> 01:19:47,949
And you're, like,
doing this now.

1676
01:19:48,158 --> 01:19:49,910
Doing what? What am I doing?

1677
01:20:01,713 --> 01:20:03,256
Sorry to interrupt, lovebirds.

1678
01:20:03,465 --> 01:20:04,591
I gotta take you
to the hospital,

1679
01:20:04,674 --> 01:20:06,760
have them check you out.
It's protocol.

1680
01:20:10,972 --> 01:20:13,475
Back-of-the-ambulance sex
is pretty freaky, right?

1681
01:20:14,142 --> 01:20:16,520
-I am so down.
-All right, let's go.

1682
01:20:17,437 --> 01:20:18,438
Are you gonna
try that move

1683
01:20:18,522 --> 01:20:19,356
we saw in the orgy?

1684
01:20:19,439 --> 01:20:21,191
Oh, I'm gonna
put in some work!

1685
01:20:21,274 --> 01:20:22,609
Mmm-mmm,
you don't sound right.

1686
01:20:22,692 --> 01:20:23,944
That's my line.

1687
01:20:32,619 --> 01:20:34,246
- <i>Run, Leilani!</i>
- <i>Jibran, I'm running.</i>

1688
01:20:34,454 --> 01:20:35,580
<i>Holy shit, holy shit!</i>

1689
01:20:35,664 --> 01:20:36,498
<i>They're right behind us!</i>

1690
01:20:36,665 --> 01:20:38,083
Let me lead. Let me get
in front, slow down!

1691
01:20:38,250 --> 01:20:39,876
-Run, run, run!
-Jibran, I'm running.

1692
01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:41,545
Don't tell me to run
when I'm already running!

1693
01:20:41,628 --> 01:20:43,797
Oh, my God, they're
right there! We're so fucked!

1694
01:20:45,257 --> 01:20:47,217
<i>This is London, England.</i>

1695
01:20:47,300 --> 01:20:49,469
<i>Jibran and Leilani</i>
<i>lost valuable time</i>

1696
01:20:49,553 --> 01:20:52,138
<i>after a heated argument</i>
<i>about the metric system.</i>

1697
01:20:52,305 --> 01:20:54,432
<i>With only two legs remaining,</i>

1698
01:20:54,516 --> 01:20:57,644
<i>do they have what it takes</i>
<i>to win the $1 million prize?</i>

1699
01:20:57,936 --> 01:20:59,396
We're actually doing it,
Jibran!

1700
01:20:59,479 --> 01:21:01,356
I told you we could win
<i>The Amazing Race.</i>

1701
01:21:04,401 --> 01:21:05,986
Okay. "For over 50 years,

1702
01:21:06,069 --> 01:21:09,072
enthusiasts have gathered at
Hyde Park to commemorate--"

1703
01:21:10,407 --> 01:21:11,700
-Uh-oh.
-What?

1704
01:21:17,414 --> 01:21:18,832
Oh, .