1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
3
00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:27,395
(HORSE WHINNIES)
4
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,497
("SEETI MAAR (FROM 'DJ')"
BY JASPREET JASZ & RITA PLAYS)
5
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,712
("SEETI MAAR (FROM 'DJ')"
CONTINUES)
6
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:50,618
♪ Let's go ♪
7
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,793
(CROWD CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)
8
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,331
("SEETI MAAR (FROM 'DJ')"
CONTINUES)
9
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,800
(SINGING IN TELUGU)
10
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,303
(CROWD MEMBERS
WHISTLE AND CHEER)
11
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,208
(SINGING IN TELUGU CONTINUES)
12
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,445
(CROWD CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)
13
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,082
(WHISPERING)
What the fuck?
14
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,222
(WINK DINGS)
15
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,692
(CROWD MEMBERS
WHISTLE AND CHEER)
16
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:34,627
My God, how did we end up here?
17
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,429
(SINGING IN TELUGU CONTINUES)
18
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,132
(CROWD WHISTLES, CHEERS)
19
00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:50,211
I think I'm lost.
20
00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:53,045
No, no, I'm tracking you.
You're less than a mile away.
21
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,747
And it's okay
to crash at your place?
22
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,249
- Of course. That'd be great.
- (RABBIT CHEERING)
23
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,618
How long you staying?
24
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,453
- SARITA: About a month?
- A month?
25
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,454
When you said you were
lecturing at the college,
26
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,722
I thought
it'd be for like a day.
27
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:03,723
RABBIT: All right.
You're good to go.
28
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:04,791
You're a great dancer,
by the way.
29
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:05,993
SARITA:
Come on, it'll be fun.
30
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:08,195
You can set me up
with one of your cute friends.
31
00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:09,629
Yeah, that's never gonna happen.
32
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,499
- Hi, Sarita. I'm still single.
- Hilarious.
33
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,267
Why don't you take her
to one of your swingers' clubs?
34
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,670
I would, but they have a
strict "no sisters" policy.
35
00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:19,206
Come on.
You gotta know somebody.
36
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:21,140
My Tarot card reader
said I'm about to meet
37
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,542
the man of my dreams.
38
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:25,345
Yeah, why does a professor
of genetics believe in Tarot?
39
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:27,347
Okay, a lot of academics
are spiritual.
40
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,249
And you would know that
if you went to college.
41
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,150
Well, Dad didn't think
my B-minus average
42
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,885
was college material.
43
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:33,953
(INDIAN ACCENT)
"Why would a college want
44
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,555
a junkie B-minus Indian,
45
00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:38,090
when there are so many good
A-plus Indians to choose from?"
46
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:39,659
- (LAUGHS)
- (CAR HORN HONKS)
47
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,094
Oh, great.
Some jerk's up my ass.
48
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,663
THORNY: Yeah, just pull over
and let them pass.
49
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,998
Yeah, there's no shoulder.
I can't pull over.
50
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,134
- (HONKING CONTINUES)
- I can't pull over any farther!
51
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:50,403
Jesus Christ!
52
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:51,639
- Oh, my God.
- (HONKS)
53
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,039
What the fuck?
54
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,207
What's going on?
55
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,342
(HORN HONKING)
56
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,910
- Jesus! Get off me!
- (ENGINE REVS)
57
00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,279
(TIRES SQUEAL)
58
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,080
- (THUDS)
- Oh, my God!
59
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,616
- Let's go!
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
60
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,150
(SARITA SCREAMS)
61
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:06,053
Oh, my God! No!
62
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,988
(SARITA SCREAMS)
63
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:09,990
(GRUNTS)
64
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:11,825
(GASPS)
65
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:13,960
Oh, my God. I roll--
66
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,195
I rolled--
I rolled down the hill!
67
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,264
I can't get out.
68
00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:18,799
THORNY:
Stay calm. We're almost there.
69
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,635
SARITA:
Thorny? Thorny, I smell gas!
70
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,803
The car's on fire!
71
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:24,972
THORNY:
Sarita, get out of that car!
72
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:26,707
SARITA: (SOBBING) I can't!
73
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,044
- (GASPS)
- (STRANGER GRUNTS)
74
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,613
(GROANS, GASPS)
75
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,614
(STRANGER GRUNTS)
76
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,550
(GROANS, GASPS)
77
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,719
(YELPS) Oh, my God!
78
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,153
Oh...
79
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,425
Talk about a bad case of gas.
80
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,026
(GIGGLES)
81
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,160
Brave and funny.
82
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,929
Just like Pedro Pasqual.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
83
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,130
- (SIREN WHOOPS, TIRES SCREECH)
- (GIGGLES)
84
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,099
Come on.
85
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:53,866
(CAR DOORS SLAM)
86
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,134
Sarita, are you okay?
87
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,536
Yeah, I'm okay.
88
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:57,571
You know this turkey?
89
00:03:58,306 --> 00:03:59,373
You mean my brother?
90
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:01,342
Hmm.
91
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,545
(SIRENS WAILING)
92
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,013
- SARITA: Hmm.
- (SIRENS CHIRP)
93
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,448
- Oh!
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
94
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,249
(IN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
"Who wants a mustache ride?"
95
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,618
- Now I see it.
- (CAR DOORS SLAM)
96
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:12,620
(BOTH LAUGH)
97
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:13,921
Are you okay down there?
98
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,489
Am I okay?
99
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,493
I just met the man of my dreams.
100
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,328
- (MOANS)
- Oh-- mm.
101
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:22,629
- FOSTER: Wow-- Oh!
- (FARVA MOANS)
102
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:23,963
- Oh...
- THORNY: No.
103
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,532
- (FARVA MOANS)
- No. No!
104
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,534
- That's good mud. Mm.
- (BOTH MOAN)
105
00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:28,568
No, no, no.
106
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:29,502
Thorny!
107
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:30,503
MAC: Oh, no! Oh!
108
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:31,404
(THORNY GROANING)
109
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:32,339
(GRUNTS)
110
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:33,473
("NIGHT WATCH"
BY THE NEW MADNESS PLAYS)
111
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:34,308
No.
112
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:35,808
- (BOTH MOANING)
- THORNY: Oh, no.
113
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:36,709
- Stop!
- And to think,
114
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,210
- I almost called in sick.
- (LAUGHING)
115
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,346
Thank you, God.
116
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:40,279
THORNY: Stop!
117
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,182
(SUSTAINED) No!
118
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,322
- (BIRDS CHIRPING)
- FOSTER: Uh...
119
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:50,990
It just says "Farva's wedding."
120
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,224
(SCOFFS)
What's it supposed to say?
121
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,926
"You are cordially invited
to the wedding
122
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,795
of Rodney Farva
and Sarita Ramathorn."
123
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,664
(SCOFFS) Like that's gonna
put butts in the seats.
124
00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:58,865
Sarita approved this?
125
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:01,068
(LAUGHING) Yeah. She loves me.
126
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:02,635
Right, best man?
127
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,670
I'm not your best man!
128
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,004
MAC: You know, you should
be best man, Thorny.
129
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,573
- It'll be fun.
- FOSTER: You gotta do it.
130
00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:07,540
No, fuck off!
131
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,776
And by the way,
she's not in love with you.
132
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,578
You saved her life,
and it messed with her head.
133
00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,012
It's a psychological phenomenon.
134
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:14,847
It's called
Putzfimmel's Syndrome.
135
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,583
No, no, that would be
Stockholm Syndrome.
136
00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:18,618
Stockholm would be
if she fell in love with Farva
137
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:19,919
after he took her hostage.
138
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,789
In which case,
we'd all be in love with Farva.
139
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,290
- THORNY: Thank you, Coy.
- Here you go.
140
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:26,359
Are we sure that it's not
Florence Nightingale Syndrome?
141
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,527
Uh, no, that's when
a nurse falls in love
142
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:28,961
- with their patient.
- Oh.
143
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,597
It's Munchausen-By-Proxy.
144
00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,264
No, Munchausen-By-Proxy
would be if
145
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:35,201
Farva's giving Drano
to his baby to get attention.
146
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:36,669
Oh, God,
is there gonna be a baby?
147
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,570
Baby Ram Rod?
148
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:38,705
Not gonna be a baby.
149
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:39,840
Oh, she'll be gorgeous.
150
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:43,843
She'll have Farva's piggy nose,
but Thorny's dark mocha skin.
151
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:44,911
All right, all right.
(LAUGHS)
152
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,079
We'll call her Mocha Latte.
153
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,080
Uh, speaking of,
who wants coffee?
154
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,281
COY: Oh, no worries.
155
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:52,385
I already ordered delivery
from Java Jesters.
156
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:54,053
- Delivery? What?
- FOSTER: I love this rookie.
157
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,455
And you know our orders?
158
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:56,989
Yeah. Programmed them
right into the app. Uh--
159
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,291
- Officer Farva wants cream.
- Cream!
160
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,260
Black. Black. Black.
161
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,863
- And... brown.
- ALL: Hey.
162
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,998
- MAC: Wow!
- That's cool.
163
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,701
If you want the Vermont taxpayer
to pay $50 for coffee.
164
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,036
- Oh, come on!
- Shut up, Rabbit.
165
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,203
Boo. Shut up, nerd.
166
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,338
- Oh, shut the fuck up.
- MAC: Hey.
167
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:13,706
We should submit Coy
168
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,241
for Highway Patrol
Rookie of the Year.
169
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:17,276
Is that a thing? How come
I wasn't nominated for that?
170
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,612
Only the best of the best.
171
00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:20,347
(BIRD CHIRPS)
172
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:24,050
Put your damn shoes on!
What is this? A bathhouse?
173
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,485
Do you know what I think?
174
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,954
I think you should
shut the fuck up, John.
175
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:30,222
- What did you say to me?
- Yeah, fuck off already, John.
176
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,157
Watch it, Farva,
177
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:32,659
or I'll take you out back
and cane you.
178
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:34,160
John, you don't work here
anymore,
179
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,196
so maybe it's time
to move along.
180
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,531
Okay. Easy, guys, okay?
181
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,467
Retirement's hard.
It's only been nine months.
182
00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:41,534
Oh, that's nothing
to do with it.
183
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,570
My toaster's broken,
184
00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,804
and I needed to toast
my Toaster Strudel.
185
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,872
You buyin' this, Markowski?
186
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:48,007
Okay, Mac,
I-I'd really appreciate it
187
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,009
if you guys call me Captain.
188
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,243
Okay, hang on, Markowski.
We're getting this squared away.
189
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,512
- John?
- Mm-hmm?
190
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,180
You need a hobby. Play golf.
191
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,081
I hate golf.
192
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,215
What about those
retirement communities
193
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,383
where they have orgies?
194
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:58,651
You could be a greeter
at Walmart.
195
00:06:58,652 --> 00:06:59,886
Oh! How about LARPing?
196
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:00,821
Quiet, Rookie!
197
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,321
You should get yourself
a girlfriend.
198
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,056
I have a girlfriend.
In Brattleboro.
199
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,391
- (SCOFFS)
- Right, sure.
200
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:06,993
Is your girlfriend
in the room with us now?
201
00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:08,160
- Okay, uh, guys.
- (CHUCKLES)
202
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,597
Yeah, we-- we really need
to get on with the day here.
203
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:12,131
Uh, John,
it was great seeing you.
204
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,633
Sorry, Todd, don't mind me.
205
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:16,202
Just waiting
for my Toaster Strudel to crisp.
206
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,470
MARKOWSKI:
Okay, let's get started.
207
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:20,507
Montpellier sent word that
we should be on the lookout
208
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:23,042
for a new drug
coming down from Canada.
209
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:26,378
They are calling it
"Canadian Crystal."
210
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,047
Canadian Crystal? What's it do?
211
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:31,050
- Make you boring and apologetic?
- (SNORTS, CACKLES)
212
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,653
- Canadians suck. (CACKLES)
- Okay, thanks, Farva.
213
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:34,721
- (RAPID CHOMPING)
- And,
214
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:35,955
apparently, somebody vandalized
215
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,290
another Moose Clock
maple syrup truck.
216
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,659
- Aw, fuck Moose Clock.
- (SCATTERED JEERS)
217
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:42,229
Yeah, yeah!
Fuck Moose Clock. Fuck it!
218
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,096
Ha, you know,
it's fun down here
219
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,632
- in the peanut gallery.
- (LAUGHTER)
220
00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:48,701
Moose Clock. Moose Clock.
Is anybody else hearing that?
221
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,236
I mean, it sounds
kinda dirty, doesn't it?
222
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,238
No, it's not dirty.
It's that syrup company
223
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,406
with the really clever moose
who knows how to tell time.
224
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,375
(LISPING) "It's time
for breakfast!"
225
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,545
(CACKLES)
Speech impediments are funny.
226
00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:01,347
No, it just doesn't sound like
a wholesome family business.
227
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:02,749
It's not even a family business.
228
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,617
It's this new conglomerate
out of Atlanta
229
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:07,319
that doesn't care a lick
about Vermont syrupers.
230
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,255
Yeah, it's Big Syrup, Markowski.
231
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:11,958
And by the way, it's not maple,
it's corn syrup.
232
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:14,026
- Ugh. Corn sucks. Fuck corn.
- Fuck corn. We don't like corn.
233
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,461
- I don't put it on my pancakes.
- Nope.
234
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:16,829
MARKOWSKI:
I don't care. Find the vandals.
235
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,532
Arrest the vandals.
Bring the vandals to justice.
236
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:20,967
Farva, it's been six weeks,
237
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,035
where are we with
your fiancée's investigation?
238
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,537
Nah,
nothing on the traffic cams,
239
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,005
but I do have a few leads.
240
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,975
Don't worry, no one slams
my girl's rear bumper but me.
241
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,777
- Right, Thorndog?
- Shut the fuck up.
242
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:33,746
Oh, hey, Old Cap,
did not get your RSVP.
243
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,281
- You comin' to the wedding?
- Nope.
244
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,415
You can bring
your pretend girlfriend.
245
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,917
Well, she doesn't want
to come either.
246
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,386
- (TOASTER DINGS)
- Oh, strudel's ready.
247
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:41,221
I love strudel.
248
00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:43,723
Well, uh, Farva, I for one,
249
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,758
am very excited
about your big day.
250
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:46,859
I don't know if you knew this,
251
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,494
but I'm a pretty big
Indio-phile.
252
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,429
Yep, kind of obsessed
with the Indian culture.
253
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:51,530
- Mm!
- So, uh,
254
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,932
what's on the menu,
by the way, huh?
255
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,867
Tandoori chicken?
Goat vindaloo?
256
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:55,703
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
257
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,403
Easy on the stereotypes,
Markowski.
258
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,371
What? I don't do stereotypes.
259
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,373
I'm just wondering
what we're eating, you know.
260
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,842
I mean, it's not like
we're gonna have Chinese food.
261
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,210
(ALL JEERING)
262
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,412
Look out, Indians aren't allowed
to have moo shu pork.
263
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,314
China-phobe!
264
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,015
- We eat Chinese food.
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
265
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:10,783
Okay. That's enough.
266
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,519
All right. Everybody outside.
267
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,287
I have a surprise for you.
268
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,590
Mm! Wow. Delicious.
269
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:18,958
Good coffee. Good coffee.
270
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,192
I mean, he ordered it on an app.
271
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,261
Maybe you should have done that
when you were a rookie.
272
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,462
Apps didn't exist back then.
273
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,197
Well, excuses are like assholes,
Rabbit.
274
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,999
- Everyone smells one.
- COY: Oh!
275
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,035
By the way, guys,
I started growing my mustache.
276
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:31,470
Hold on, Rook. I'll tell you
when you can grow a mustache.
277
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,706
Until then you should wear
a strap-on. (LAUGHS)
278
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:34,974
Strap-on...
279
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,208
Okay, gentlemen,
280
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:39,712
uh, I know I talk a lot
about modernizing
281
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:43,550
and the future of policing,
so I give to you...
282
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,087
ALL: Whoa!
283
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,455
(GROUP EXCLAIMING)
284
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,290
- All right!
- Nice.
285
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,659
- FARVA: Hot dog!
- That is a sharp car.
286
00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:54,728
Our first electric patrol car.
287
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:56,763
- Boo! What?
- (SCATTERED JEERS)
288
00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:57,764
FARVA: Electric?
289
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:58,998
- FARVA: Electricity sucks!
- Fossil fuels.
290
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:01,133
Fuck electricity. Boo!
291
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:04,403
No, it's part of
Vermont's new green initiative.
292
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:08,540
They call this beauty
Le Sportif Electrique.
293
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:09,376
(MARKOWSKI CHUCKLES)
294
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,378
Sportif Electrique?
What does that even mean?
295
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,847
What? It's a new Canadian EV.
296
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,049
Tkachuk Motors is trying
to break into the market,
297
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,384
so we got a great deal.
298
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:21,287
Ugh. A Canadian electric car?
299
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,122
It looks weak.
300
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,257
Give me a good old-fashioned
American gas car any day.
301
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,593
No, no, no.
This is a great opportunity
302
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:29,696
for us to be energy sustainable.
303
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:31,831
Enough with the
New Age bullshit, Markowski.
304
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,933
Okay. I knew
this was gonna happen.
305
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,235
I knew that you guys were
gonna push back
306
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:37,469
against the future,
307
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,538
so I brought
a few things for you.
308
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,540
No, no, please. No more books.
Please, no more books.
309
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:42,574
Carl. This is for you.
310
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,243
I think
you're really gonna enjoy it.
311
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,112
It...
312
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:48,280
It moved the heck out of me.
The Power of Now.
313
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,616
Are you saying
the power of meow?
314
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,752
- No, it's The Power of Now.
- You're saying meow, right?
315
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:53,586
No, now.
316
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,657
And for you, Thorny,
Salman Rushdie.
317
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,526
Shalimar the Clown.
318
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:02,361
I'm sure
you're familiar with his work.
319
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:03,362
Why is that now?
320
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,864
Well, because you people
stick together,
321
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:05,766
right, Markowski?
322
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,166
- FARVA: Wow.
- RABBIT: Mm. Keeps on going.
323
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,968
No, because he's a great writer.
324
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:09,869
Can you believe
this fucking guy?
325
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:10,838
I cannot.
326
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,506
And for you, Mac.
327
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:18,045
New Age Thinking For...
328
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,346
You saying I'm dumb?
329
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,815
No, don't worry about the title.
330
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:24,250
This was an important first step
for me.
331
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:25,417
I'm not dumb. You're dumb.
332
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:27,153
No, it's just
showing the differences
333
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,255
between auras and chakras.
334
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:30,123
- Things like that.
- You're dumb.
335
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:32,359
Okay.
336
00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:35,995
Oh, come on, you guys.
This thing is t-u-f-f.
337
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,163
Cap, give me the manual.
338
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:38,798
Let me take the charge
on this bad boy.
339
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:41,834
All right, well, good luck.
Hope you like French.
340
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:42,735
- Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
- (GROUP MUTTERING)
341
00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:43,702
That's French-ism, buddy.
342
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,404
No, the manual is in French.
343
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,206
- Do you like anybody?
- He hates the French!
344
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,841
- Sacré bleu.
- Enough, enough.
345
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,643
Back to business. Let's go.
346
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:53,245
Are you guys gonna look at it?
Ugh...
347
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,047
FOSTER: Is it gonna shock me
if I touch it?
348
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,015
FARVA: (OVER MEGAPHONE)
You missed a spot.
349
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,017
You missed a spot.
350
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,886
You missed a spot.
No, no, you missed a spot.
351
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,653
You missed a spot.
I got dirt in my pocket.
352
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:02,889
- He doesn't know.
- (FEEDBACK WHINES)
353
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,723
Thorny, I think it'd be
a real nice gesture
354
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,992
if you would--
(CLEARS THROAT)
355
00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:07,760
agree to be Farva's best man.
(LAUGHS)
356
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:08,896
(MOCKING LAUGH)
357
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:10,297
MAC: Okay, let me try,
let me try, let me try.
358
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,599
The decent thing to do
would be for you to accept
359
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,135
Farva's offer
to be his best man. (CACKLES)
360
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:18,170
(RABBIT, FOSTER, AND MAC LAUGH)
361
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,471
Fuck, you're right,
it can't be done.
362
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,173
I'd rather put my dick
in a mouse trap
363
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,242
than be Farva's best man.
364
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,510
That's a great idea
for a bachelor party gift.
365
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,512
Mouse traps
to put your dicks in.
366
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:27,347
Right?
367
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,715
Ooh! What if we all have
matching gym shorts?
368
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:31,418
- Oh. That's me.
- (CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
369
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:34,553
Hi, guys.
370
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:35,822
- Hey, Urs.
- Hey, Urs.
371
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,124
Sup, Charlie's Angel?
372
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:38,925
- Hey. Hey...
- Hey.
373
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,061
Um-- Yeah. Oh. Oh--
374
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:42,661
Sorry. I don't know
how this whole
375
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:44,697
conscious uncoupling thing
is supposed to work.
376
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,498
Well, you left some stuff
at the house, so.
377
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,936
Oh, you didn't have to come
all the way out for that.
378
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,736
I'm just glad
we're handling this
379
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,238
in a mature and adult way.
380
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:53,373
Hey, Billy!
381
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,707
Right. I asked you
if you wanted to buy
382
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,444
a house together
and you ran away.
383
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,711
I wouldn't necessarily
characterize it that way.
384
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:00,814
I'm good. I'm good.
385
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,749
You enjoy hanging with the guys,
you know, making dick jokes.
386
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,151
We don't do that.
387
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:06,819
But good luck
finding a mouse trap
388
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,320
big enough for this dick!
389
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:09,922
(MEN LAUGHING)
390
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,757
(AS BILLY) Ha, ha, ha.
That's hysterical.
391
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,525
- Go Thorny. Go Thorny.
- (URSULA CHUCKLES)
392
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:14,827
- Go Thorny.
- I'll see you around
393
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:15,995
- the gun range.
- (MAC CHIRPS)
394
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:17,096
FOSTER: Don't worry, Billy.
395
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,597
This doesn't mean
that Mommy and Daddy
396
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:19,933
- love you any less.
- (ENGINE STARTS)
397
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,804
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
398
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,473
All right.
Time to show the rookie
399
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,176
- how the sausage is made.
- Ooh.
400
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,743
This is The Box.
401
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,846
Every prank we have ever pulled.
402
00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,681
I'm sure you heard all about it
at the academy.
403
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:36,783
Can't say that I have.
404
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:38,218
Ooh.
405
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,619
What is "Gassenger Window"?
406
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,621
- (LAUGHS)
- (CHUCKLES)
407
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,623
So, you get all the passengers
to roll their windows down
408
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:45,592
and then you get points
409
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,326
if you can fart in each window.
(LAUGHS)
410
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,929
Bonus points if they start
blaming each other.
411
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,597
- Which they always do.
- Which they always do.
412
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:52,498
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- (COY CHUCKLES)
413
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,300
Nice. Yeah, that's really funny.
414
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:55,735
I-I think I saw that on TikTok.
415
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,304
See? This is why we hate China.
416
00:13:58,305 --> 00:13:59,839
- They're always stealing our IP.
- (ENGINE WHIRS)
417
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,275
(CHUCKLES)
418
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,912
Mind if we 69?
419
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,579
With your new
battery-powered device?
420
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:08,615
Not interested.
421
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,283
Hey. I had to wait
nine months
422
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,985
before I got to see
that prank box.
423
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:15,321
- This rookie is advanced.
- Oh!
424
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,756
I've actually been workin' on
a new pullover game called,
425
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,491
"Here's The Dildo."
426
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,492
Sounds intrusive.
427
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:21,994
Basically, you're saying,
428
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,330
"Here's the deal, though"
to the driver.
429
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:27,299
But instead you say,
"Here's the dildo,"
430
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:30,202
because they kind of
sound the same. (LAUGHS)
431
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,403
It's pretty good.
432
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,505
Yeah, that one
actually sounds funny.
433
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,674
"Here's the dildo.
Here's the dildo." (CHUCKLES)
434
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,676
Yeah, I've definitely not seen
that one on TikTok.
435
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,946
Thank you, Rookie of the Year.
436
00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:42,548
(SIGHS) All right,
our babysitting shift is over.
437
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:43,516
Go hang out with those guys.
438
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,318
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Rook.
You can't use the door.
439
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,487
The ground is lava. Hot lava.
440
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:49,456
(CHUCKLES)
441
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:52,692
- (DOOR SHUTS)
- (ENGINE WHIRS)
442
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,794
- (COY GRUNTS)
- THORNY: All right, rookie.
443
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,195
FOSTER: Oh, look at you.
444
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,496
- MAC: Ooh, I don't know.
- (GRUNTS)
445
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,430
- You got it.
- (GROANS)
446
00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,399
- No, you've got it, Rookie.
- (GRUNTS)
447
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,968
- (COY GRUNTS)
- MAC: Boy, you are limber.
448
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:02,868
Nice twist.
449
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:04,336
- (ENGINE WHIRS)
- MAC: Yeah, impressive.
450
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:05,538
FOSTER: B-minus.
451
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,574
(ENGINE REVS, RUMBLES)
452
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:08,908
Whoa.
453
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,711
MAC: Oh, great.
454
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:13,412
It's the Buchanan Boys.
455
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,580
Well, well, well.
456
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:15,781
If it isn't the old timers
457
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:17,884
passing the torch
to the new generation.
458
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:21,220
Coy. This is Steve
and Baker Buchanan.
459
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:22,921
They're weed dealers.
460
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:23,956
STEVE: Not anymore.
461
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,291
Yeah, we used to be.
462
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,359
We got out the business
when it went legal.
463
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,961
Too many tax and regs.
Right, Steve?
464
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,597
Yeah, Baker.
Government can suck my D.
465
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,865
Never been much for
following the laws, huh, boys?
466
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:36,002
Actually, we have
a totally legit business.
467
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,371
We repurposed the farm,
and we're hosting events now.
468
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:41,740
Bar mitzvahs.
Bat mitzvahs. Quinceañeras.
469
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:44,176
Oh, yeah. Hey, Thorny,
congratulations, man.
470
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,246
We're super excited to host
your hot sister's wedding.
471
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,281
- To Rod Farva.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
472
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,916
(FORCED LAUGH)
473
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,418
(WEAKLY) Son of a bitch.
474
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,086
A guest list
full of Indians and cops.
475
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:56,155
I guess we're gonna have to
stock up on mustache combs.
476
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,090
Oh, shit. (LAUGHS)
477
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,458
You know,
I miss when weed was illegal.
478
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,327
So we could bust your asses.
479
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,195
Bust us? (SCOFFS)
480
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,830
What makes you think
you could still catch us,
481
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,265
- old fella?
- (ENGINE REVS)
482
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:07,766
Oh, you don't think
I could catch you?
483
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,235
Not even if we were on foot.
484
00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:11,170
- (MAC SCOFFS)
- (ENGINE ROARS)
485
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:13,305
Don't-- don't take the bait.
Don't-- don't take the bait.
486
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,806
Oh, I guess
we're taking the bait.
487
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,242
(ENGINE ROARS)
488
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:19,112
("ASTRA WALLY"
BY ROSE TATTOO PLAYS)
489
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,449
- (GROANS)
- Whoa...
490
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,251
Whoo! Let's go!
491
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:26,586
(STEVE WHOOPS)
492
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,426
Uh, maybe not the best time
to ask, but I was wondering
493
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,028
if I could crash
at your place for a while?
494
00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:37,963
There's plenty of
comfy jail cells in the station.
495
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,098
You can crash there.
496
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:39,932
Come on. We'll be like
497
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:41,833
Ryan Gosling
and Justin Timberlake.
498
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:42,901
Did you know
they were roommates?
499
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:44,703
No, I didn't know
they were fucking roommates.
500
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:45,905
("ASTRA WALLY" CONTINUES)
501
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,209
(ENGINE ROARS)
502
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,078
- (CAR HORN HONKS)
- FOSTER AND MAC: Whoa!
503
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,779
- BOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- (CAR HONKS)
504
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,881
Here I come, Baker.
I got you now.
505
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:00,953
MAC:
That's all right. I got it.
506
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:03,190
Whoa, I guess we'll go
507
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:04,224
- off the road then. Okay.
- There we go.
508
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:10,362
What's up, assholes?
509
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,497
What's up, chode?
510
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,432
Shut the fuck up.
I'm talking to him.
511
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,302
- You're caught.
- (ENGINE REVS)
512
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,237
- Whoo! Suck it! (LAUGHS, WHOOPS)
- (GROANS)
513
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:20,005
(BUCHANANS WHOOP)
514
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:20,940
Whoo!
515
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,509
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
- (BUCHANANS WHOOP, LAUGH)
516
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,177
- STEVE: Yeah!
- BAKER: Whoo!
517
00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,514
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
- (STEVE WHOOPS)
518
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:29,881
Go, go, go, go, go.
519
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,784
- Cut across! Cut across!
- (MAC WHOOPS)
520
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:33,952
Tokyo Drift, motherfucker!
521
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:35,721
(TIRES SQUEAL)
522
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,724
("ASTRA WALLY" CONTINUES)
523
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:43,295
- (WHOOPS)
- (LAUGHS)
524
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,332
Holy shit. You're so hot dude.
525
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:49,636
(STEVE LAUGHS, WHOOPS)
526
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,710
(BUCHANANS WHOOP)
527
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,546
Suck my brother's dick!
528
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:01,680
You know they're gonna
try to get away
529
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,282
by jumping Duck Neck Creek.
530
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:04,383
Uh-huh.
531
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:06,218
But we're not gonna jump
Duck Neck Creek, right?
532
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,786
Why not? I've done it before.
533
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,388
When? I feel like
I would have heard about that.
534
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,289
High school.
535
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,558
Oh, last century.
536
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:13,759
You know, you could get out
any time you want.
537
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,195
It's just that I'm single now,
and I kinda need all my teeth.
538
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,464
("ASTRA WALLY" CONTINUES)
539
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:20,133
- Oh, shit, dude.
- Oh, here it comes.
540
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,504
(CLUTCH CLICKS, ENGINE REVS)
541
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:30,376
- Oh...
- Yee-haw!
542
00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:32,010
(SLOWED YELL)
543
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,180
(BUCHANANS WHOOP)
544
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:37,015
(LAUGHS)
545
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,218
- Whoo!
- (YELLS)
546
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:39,786
Damn it!
547
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:41,387
(MAC GROANS)
548
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:42,822
God! (GROANS)
549
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,525
MAC: Shit! (GROANS)
550
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,092
Shit, shit, shit.
551
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:47,927
What happened?
552
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,530
Weren't going fast enough.
We were never gonna make it.
553
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:54,100
Is it possible we're no longer
the cool guys in our own story?
554
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:55,867
Not a fucking chance.
555
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:59,038
("ASTRA WALLY" RESUMES)
556
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:03,410
- (GRUNTS)
- FOSTER: Whoa. Easy, easy. Whoa.
557
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:07,946
Farva texted me
his list of demands
558
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,248
for the bachelor party.
559
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,716
"Strip clubs, bum fights,
560
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:13,084
Russian roulette,
dinner at McDonald's."
561
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:15,587
Sounds like Farva's
found himself a new best man.
562
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:19,192
"Forward this list to Thorny.
He blocked my number."
563
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:22,027
Hey, I can help you plan
the bachelor party if you want.
564
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:22,961
What are you thinking, Vegas?
565
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,231
Okay, settle down.
I'll take care of it.
566
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,765
No, seriously. I've planned
tons of bachelor parties.
567
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,934
For my one buddy,
we did a stripper escape room.
568
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:31,337
A-And then for another,
we did a stripper crawfish boil.
569
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:32,304
Okay, okay.
570
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:34,039
It doesn't matter.
It's not gonna happen.
571
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,674
It's never gonna happen.
572
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:36,509
DETAINEE: Hello?
573
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,478
Can I go?
574
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,780
No. We're trying to teach
our rookie about pullovers.
575
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,949
So, here's my offer,
speed demon.
576
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,986
You beat my rook
in a foot race, no ticket.
577
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,155
- He beats you, big ticket.
- (DETAINEE SCOFFS)
578
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:50,990
Wait, what?
579
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,659
But I am wearing
crocodile loafers.
580
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,861
Well, they're very fast animals,
so you should do great.
581
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,663
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm the cop here.
582
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:58,930
Shouldn't he be
the only one running?
583
00:19:58,931 --> 00:19:59,865
Can't race himself.
584
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,333
Rookie, you lose to this guy,
585
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,703
you'll be cleaning
Farva's toilet for a month.
586
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:04,971
Jesus.
587
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:07,138
To the bend and back.
One, two, three. Go!
588
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:08,707
(BOTH GRUNTING)
589
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,510
(PHONE RINGING)
590
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,612
- (PHONE RINGS, BEEPS)
- Hi, Boopy!
591
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,447
Mom. Dad. How are ya?
592
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,683
Dr. and Dr. Ramathorn, hey.
It's Robbie.
593
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:20,752
Hi, Robbie! We're on our way up
for the big wedding.
594
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,621
No, no, no. You have to
talk Sarita out of this.
595
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:25,223
MEHTA: Absolutely not. It's
time for her to get married.
596
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,426
And I've never seen her
so in love.
597
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:28,660
No. She just thinks
she's in love.
598
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,462
It's called
Putzfimmel's Syndrome.
599
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,464
That's not Putzfimmel.
600
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,933
If anything,
it's White Knight Syndrome.
601
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,068
White Knight?
I was thinking Havana Syndrome.
602
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,405
Enough of this
"syndrome bindo" nonsense.
603
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,373
Sarita has a good head
on her shoulders.
604
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,542
She's a bloody geneticist,
for Christ's sake.
605
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:45,844
Well, that's good
'cause Farva's a mutant.
606
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,280
Rabbit, tell my parents
what a nightmare Farva is.
607
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:49,415
Honestly, deep down,
608
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:50,582
I think
he's just a scared little boy.
609
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,250
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
610
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,719
Dad, help me out here.
611
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,754
Boopy, I get it.
612
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:58,156
Would I prefer it if Rodney
were Hindu or even Indian?
613
00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:01,927
Yes. But I want to give the boy
a chance to earn my respect.
614
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:05,196
That's never gonna happen, Dad.
I know you. You're old school.
615
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:07,599
(SHUSHES)
You're not behaving well, Boopy.
616
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,900
And what is this I hear about
617
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:10,869
your refusing
to be Rodney's best man?
618
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,338
Well, it's 'cause
I'm slammed at work.
619
00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:15,073
See, someone's been
vandalizing maple syrup trucks
620
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:17,208
and then there's this
whole Canadian drug--
621
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,677
Arcot Ramathorn.
622
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:22,080
You will support Sarita
and be best man. That's it!
623
00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:23,450
- We love you, Boopy!
- (PHONE BEEPS)
624
00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:28,153
So, I'll just, uh, send you
this list, Boopy?
625
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:29,588
Not gonna happen.
626
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,289
- Never gonna happen.
- (BOTH PANTING)
627
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,791
(COY GROANS)
628
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:33,825
Who won?
629
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:35,362
- Me!
- No way! I did.
630
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:37,630
I was distracted. I...
631
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,599
Guess we'll have to
run it again.
632
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:41,833
Aw, come on. Can we at least
get a little rest?
633
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:45,136
Coy. The law never rests.
One, two, three. Go!
634
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,139
(BOTH GRUNT)
635
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:53,379
So, you want me
to die alone like you?
636
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,881
No. But do you really wanna
spend the rest of your life
637
00:21:55,882 --> 00:21:57,349
with a guy who Dutch ovens you?
638
00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:58,850
How do you know
he Dutch ovens me?
639
00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:00,419
- He tells everyone.
- Well, you know what?
640
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:01,820
That's what I love about him, okay?
641
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,154
He doesn't care
what people think.
642
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,056
- FARVA: Who wants cream?
- I do!
643
00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:07,025
Come get your cream, girl.
644
00:22:07,026 --> 00:22:08,159
Why can't you stay at his house?
645
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,595
(GROANS)
His parents are strict Quakers.
646
00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:10,430
They won't allow it.
647
00:22:10,597 --> 00:22:12,764
He doesn't have parents.
He's a test tube baby.
648
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:15,434
He can be a test tube baby
and still be a Quaker.
649
00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:17,369
I don't even know what the fuck
we're talking about.
650
00:22:17,370 --> 00:22:19,471
I'm marrying him, okay?
651
00:22:19,472 --> 00:22:21,206
So, you better get used to it,
Thorny.
652
00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:22,173
I won't, Thorny.
653
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:23,308
Ugh.
654
00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:24,210
Here I come, babe!
655
00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:26,912
Your tuna can
is about to get StarKist.
656
00:22:26,913 --> 00:22:29,348
FARVA: Yeah! I like extra celery
in my tuna!
657
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:31,651
(MUFFLED) Oh yeah. Oh!
658
00:22:31,984 --> 00:22:33,585
(FARVA HOWLS)
659
00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:34,920
- (SARITA AND FARVA MOAN)
- (OBJECTS CLATTER)
660
00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:36,154
FARVA: Oh, tickle me
with that feather.
661
00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:37,088
- (SARITA LAUGHS)
- (FARVA WHOOPS)
662
00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:39,290
(MUFFLED LAUGHTER, MOANING)
663
00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:41,493
- (THUDDING, CREAKING)
- (SARITA LAUGHS, MOANS)
664
00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:43,595
("SWING LOW, SWEET CHARIOT" BY
THE DANIEL THOMAS EXPERIENCE)
665
00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:45,497
(MUFFLED CREAKING,
MOANING CONTINUES)
666
00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:47,799
- ♪ Swing low ♪
- FARVA: Ow! Ow! Oh--
667
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,067
Thorny!
668
00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:51,136
- SARITA: Farva. Farva!
- FARVA: Oh, Ramathorn.
669
00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:53,304
- SARITA: Farva! Farva!
- FARVA: Ramathorn.
670
00:22:53,305 --> 00:22:55,907
- FARVA: Ramathorn, Ramathorn.
- SARITA: Now lick my Oreo!
671
00:22:55,908 --> 00:22:57,776
FARVA: Oh, yeah, Ramathorn.
672
00:22:57,777 --> 00:23:01,080
- ♪ Sweet chariot ♪
- (SUSTAINED MOAN)
673
00:23:01,347 --> 00:23:05,251
♪ Coming forth
To carry me home ♪
674
00:23:05,818 --> 00:23:08,587
- ♪ I looked over Jordan ♪
- (MUFFLED) Thorny.
675
00:23:08,588 --> 00:23:11,590
- ♪ And what did I see? ♪
- (MUFFLED) Thorny.
676
00:23:11,591 --> 00:23:13,959
- Thorny, I'm over here.
- ♪ Coming forth to carry me ♪
677
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,461
- ♪ Home ♪
- Thorny!
678
00:23:15,462 --> 00:23:17,763
Thorny, Thorny, Thorny, Thorny!
Thorny, Thorny, Thorny, Thorny!
679
00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:19,931
(MUSIC FADES)
680
00:23:19,932 --> 00:23:21,099
That's my shirt.
681
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:23,669
It's a good sex shirt.
Oh, dude.
682
00:23:23,670 --> 00:23:25,805
You gotta shellac that door.
Gave me splinters.
683
00:23:26,205 --> 00:23:27,639
Although, I did just throw
684
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,174
a new coat of varnish
on it for ya.
685
00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:30,242
Oh, no I didn't.
686
00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:32,011
Got any beer?
687
00:23:33,446 --> 00:23:34,914
Bupty, bupty, boo...
688
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:36,181
(GROANS)
689
00:23:36,182 --> 00:23:37,215
Thorny's fridge.
690
00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:39,251
- No.
- A lot of Uncrustables in here.
691
00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:41,219
Here you go. Found it!
692
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:42,054
My last one!
693
00:23:42,221 --> 00:23:43,956
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna drink it.
694
00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:45,824
(GROANS)
695
00:23:45,825 --> 00:23:48,093
I gots the Indian burn.
696
00:23:48,094 --> 00:23:49,595
- (FARVA GROANS)
- Come on!
697
00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:50,862
Whew. Soothing.
698
00:23:50,863 --> 00:23:53,164
- (KNOCKING)
- (GROANS) Oh, there's the door.
699
00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:55,667
(GRUNTS) You ever get
Indian burn? I bet you have.
700
00:23:55,668 --> 00:23:56,903
Oh, my God. It's cold.
701
00:23:58,805 --> 00:23:59,738
You Rod Farva?
702
00:23:59,739 --> 00:24:00,672
No.
703
00:24:00,673 --> 00:24:02,140
I got a Postmates delivery
704
00:24:02,141 --> 00:24:04,410
of 12 short and wide condoms
for Rod Farva.
705
00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:07,445
Come on. Only 12?
706
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:10,082
Eh. I guess it'll have to do.
Tip the tall kid, Thorny.
707
00:24:11,417 --> 00:24:12,852
(GROANS) Oh.
708
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:15,721
By the way, I am super excited
to meet your parents tomorrow.
709
00:24:15,722 --> 00:24:17,489
Huh?
I think they're gonna love me.
710
00:24:17,490 --> 00:24:18,990
Hey, honey!
I got the short and wides!
711
00:24:18,991 --> 00:24:20,592
SARITA: Ooh, let's move
to Thorny's room.
712
00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:22,994
I'm gonna stop this wedding...
713
00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:24,997
and I just figured out how.
714
00:24:28,668 --> 00:24:29,568
MAC: Huh.
715
00:24:29,569 --> 00:24:31,202
What am I missing?
716
00:24:31,203 --> 00:24:32,304
Don't get it.
717
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:35,306
How much do you weigh?
718
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:36,609
(SIGHS) 170.
719
00:24:37,176 --> 00:24:38,611
Huh. Right, okay.
720
00:24:39,746 --> 00:24:40,880
See, I figured out
what the problem is.
721
00:24:42,248 --> 00:24:43,281
You're too heavy.
722
00:24:43,282 --> 00:24:44,984
I can't do this
with you in the car.
723
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,418
Do what?
724
00:24:48,154 --> 00:24:51,389
No. No.
You're not jumping a creek.
725
00:24:51,390 --> 00:24:53,592
Markowski. You don't understand.
726
00:24:53,593 --> 00:24:54,661
The Buchanan Brothers
727
00:24:54,761 --> 00:24:57,095
jumped Duck Neck Creek,
so now I have to.
728
00:24:57,096 --> 00:24:58,664
That creek is taunting me.
729
00:24:58,665 --> 00:25:01,867
You're not using a state vehicle
to catch your white whale.
730
00:25:01,868 --> 00:25:02,702
My what?
731
00:25:03,035 --> 00:25:05,171
White whale.
It's a Moby Dick reference.
732
00:25:05,371 --> 00:25:07,205
It's Melville. White whale.
733
00:25:07,206 --> 00:25:09,541
Todd. Stop reasoning with 'em.
734
00:25:09,542 --> 00:25:12,377
You gotta treat Mac
like a shitty house pet.
735
00:25:12,378 --> 00:25:14,713
When he craps on the carpet,
you whack him on the nose
736
00:25:14,714 --> 00:25:16,381
good and hard,
or he'll do it again.
737
00:25:16,382 --> 00:25:19,117
Easy, Old Cap, you don't have to
give Markowski any tips.
738
00:25:19,118 --> 00:25:19,952
Womack.
739
00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:23,254
If you try to jump a patrol car
over Duck Neck Creek,
740
00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:24,924
I'll feed ya
to the fucking bears!
741
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:26,458
Something like that.
742
00:25:26,993 --> 00:25:29,527
You see, it's kinda toothless
now that you're retired.
743
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,864
John, I-I appreciate the help,
but I-I can handle him.
744
00:25:32,131 --> 00:25:32,965
Your funeral.
745
00:25:34,033 --> 00:25:36,802
So, um, you guys got any coffee
around here?
746
00:25:36,803 --> 00:25:38,504
Oh, yeah.
Got a delivery on the way.
747
00:25:38,838 --> 00:25:41,472
Actually, I have café au laits
with steamed oat milk,
748
00:25:41,473 --> 00:25:43,508
peppermint swizzle sticks,
and biscotti.
749
00:25:43,509 --> 00:25:45,111
What is this? Italian Christmas?
750
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:47,112
Rabbit, everybody knows
coffee tastes better
751
00:25:47,113 --> 00:25:48,513
when you order it
from somewhere else.
752
00:25:48,514 --> 00:25:49,715
(DOOR BUZZES)
753
00:25:49,716 --> 00:25:51,349
Oh. Why don't you make yourself
useful and get that?
754
00:25:51,350 --> 00:25:52,918
(DOOR BUZZES)
755
00:25:52,919 --> 00:25:54,419
- Fine!
- (DOOR BUZZES)
756
00:25:54,420 --> 00:25:56,487
Well, thank you
for swinging by, John,
757
00:25:56,488 --> 00:25:58,624
but we gotta get going here.
758
00:25:58,625 --> 00:26:01,259
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I'll go. I'll go.
759
00:26:01,260 --> 00:26:03,428
Oh, Todd. Tell me, uh,
760
00:26:03,429 --> 00:26:05,597
what's happening with the case
on Thorny's sister?
761
00:26:05,598 --> 00:26:08,133
Oh, uh, no new info
on the guy who did it.
762
00:26:08,134 --> 00:26:09,801
The guy? Oh, so it couldn't
have been a woman?
763
00:26:09,802 --> 00:26:11,970
Person. I mea-- I meant person.
You know what I meant.
764
00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:12,805
No, no, no. We get it.
765
00:26:12,972 --> 00:26:14,072
You think women
shouldn't be allowed to drive.
766
00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:15,540
- They can't commit crimes.
- No. That's not--
767
00:26:15,541 --> 00:26:16,908
Stop. (STAMMERS)
That's not what I said.
768
00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:18,376
- Sexist!
- Not sexist.
769
00:26:18,377 --> 00:26:19,211
- FARVA: Sexism.
- No. No.
770
00:26:19,378 --> 00:26:21,012
Markowski thinks women
shouldn't wear pants.
771
00:26:21,013 --> 00:26:22,881
- Okay, we're not doing that.
- Women can be criminals.
772
00:26:22,882 --> 00:26:24,383
- You ever see Ocean's 8?
- Enough!
773
00:26:25,918 --> 00:26:28,920
Farva, can you check
the traffic cams again?
774
00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:30,288
I already checked 'em, Old Cap.
775
00:26:30,289 --> 00:26:32,257
Well, do it again!
That's an order.
776
00:26:32,258 --> 00:26:33,159
A what?
777
00:26:35,795 --> 00:26:37,964
(SIGHS) I know. I know.
778
00:26:38,530 --> 00:26:39,998
I need a hobby.
779
00:26:39,999 --> 00:26:41,366
No. You need a girlfriend.
780
00:26:41,367 --> 00:26:43,068
I have a girlfriend.
781
00:26:43,069 --> 00:26:44,870
- (QUIETLY) Brattleboro.
- Okay. Mm.
782
00:26:44,871 --> 00:26:46,204
Where you goin', Old Cap?
783
00:26:46,205 --> 00:26:48,339
Well, someone has to tidy up
that fucking basement!
784
00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:50,076
Oh-- Thank you.
785
00:26:50,910 --> 00:26:52,144
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
786
00:26:53,045 --> 00:26:55,413
Oh, God, I think he's gonna
put a bed down there. (LAUGHS)
787
00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:57,215
All right, Farva,
you heard the man.
788
00:26:57,216 --> 00:26:58,383
Check the traffic cams again.
789
00:26:58,384 --> 00:27:00,085
You know,
I'd be making more progress
790
00:27:00,086 --> 00:27:01,586
if it wasn't for this wedding.
791
00:27:01,587 --> 00:27:03,755
Sarita's off
lecturing college dorks,
792
00:27:03,756 --> 00:27:04,956
and I'm in charge of everything.
793
00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:07,325
The menu, the flowers,
the cake tasting.
794
00:27:07,326 --> 00:27:09,527
Oh, what do you guys think
about red velvet? Hmm?
795
00:27:09,528 --> 00:27:10,862
I kinda like that cake.
796
00:27:10,863 --> 00:27:12,497
Makes me wanna
rub it in my thighs.
797
00:27:12,498 --> 00:27:14,866
(CHUCKLES) Interesting choice,
crab cake. Hm?
798
00:27:14,867 --> 00:27:16,234
You wouldn't think of it
as a dessert,
799
00:27:16,235 --> 00:27:17,502
but you can make it sweet,
put sugar on it.
800
00:27:17,503 --> 00:27:19,204
It'd be sweet, salty, and fishy.
801
00:27:19,205 --> 00:27:20,305
- (FARVA CHUCKLES)
- Okay.
802
00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:22,173
Then there's bundt cake. Bundt.
803
00:27:22,174 --> 00:27:23,809
It's got a D in it.
Did you know that?
804
00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:26,212
You'd think it was silent,
but it's not. Bun-ta-duh-t.
805
00:27:26,879 --> 00:27:29,348
Farva. I've been doing
a lot of thinking.
806
00:27:29,916 --> 00:27:33,019
And I've decided
to be your best man.
807
00:27:33,219 --> 00:27:34,119
Really?
808
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:35,486
What about dick in a mouse trap?
809
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:38,289
A mousetrap is for mice.
Not for dicks.
810
00:27:38,290 --> 00:27:39,590
Plus, it's my sister's wedding.
811
00:27:39,591 --> 00:27:41,592
So, goddamn it,
it's the right thing to do.
812
00:27:41,593 --> 00:27:43,661
(LAUGHS)
I knew you'd come around.
813
00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:45,931
Special guy.
Give me this. Come on.
814
00:27:45,932 --> 00:27:48,099
Oh, my God.
You're soft, but firm.
815
00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:50,102
You're like a hot dog
stuffed with salt water taffy.
816
00:27:50,469 --> 00:27:52,203
You know what?
I'm gonna go tell Sarita.
817
00:27:52,204 --> 00:27:53,505
(CACKLES)
818
00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:55,507
- Oh!
- Nerd!
819
00:27:55,875 --> 00:27:57,342
- (GROANS) Damn it!
- (EXHALES)
820
00:27:57,343 --> 00:27:59,444
Oh, so now you wanna be
his best man?
821
00:27:59,445 --> 00:28:01,280
What? Have you been smoking
some of that Canadian Crystal?
822
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,514
Seriously. What's your angle?
823
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:05,583
Tell me the shim-sham,
oh Brown One.
824
00:28:05,584 --> 00:28:07,585
Last night,
after Farva and Sarita
825
00:28:07,586 --> 00:28:10,555
had sex against my door,
and he took my last beer
826
00:28:10,556 --> 00:28:12,590
to soothe
his Indian-burned taint...
827
00:28:12,591 --> 00:28:13,825
I'm already lost.
828
00:28:13,826 --> 00:28:15,461
...I had an epiphany.
829
00:28:15,995 --> 00:28:18,096
My father is a conservative guy.
830
00:28:18,097 --> 00:28:20,331
If he saw Farva
in all his glory,
831
00:28:20,332 --> 00:28:22,701
he'd call this wedding off
lickety-split.
832
00:28:23,669 --> 00:28:26,004
So, I'm gonna use my power
as best man
833
00:28:26,005 --> 00:28:29,008
to give him
the full Farva experience.
834
00:28:30,176 --> 00:28:34,246
I'm calling my plan:
Operation Indian Burn.
835
00:28:34,847 --> 00:28:38,249
BOTH: Ooh...
836
00:28:38,250 --> 00:28:40,886
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
837
00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:43,321
Arcot, thank you for arranging
this beautiful meeting.
838
00:28:43,322 --> 00:28:44,190
Of course.
839
00:28:44,456 --> 00:28:46,457
And for being Rodney's best man.
840
00:28:46,458 --> 00:28:48,093
You know how much
it means to him.
841
00:28:48,094 --> 00:28:51,162
Though I'm not sure this
is his kind of place, you know?
842
00:28:51,163 --> 00:28:52,864
Are you kidding?
I think it's a place
843
00:28:52,865 --> 00:28:55,835
that'll really let Farva
be Farva.
844
00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:57,804
FARVA: Good afternoon.
845
00:28:58,470 --> 00:29:00,038
(SIGHS) Sorry I'm late.
846
00:29:00,039 --> 00:29:02,874
Oh, my God.
Babe, you clean up great!
847
00:29:02,875 --> 00:29:05,010
Well, Thorny did say
it was high tea.
848
00:29:05,011 --> 00:29:07,745
Although, I did not know
if I had to get high first.
849
00:29:07,746 --> 00:29:09,614
(LAUGHS) I'm just kidding.
850
00:29:09,615 --> 00:29:12,750
I'm not a druggie
like this tweaker. (LAUGHS)
851
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:14,452
Ram Rod! (CHUCKLES)
852
00:29:14,453 --> 00:29:15,621
THORNY: Mom, Dad.
853
00:29:16,823 --> 00:29:18,289
- This is Farva.
- FARVA: Oh.
854
00:29:18,290 --> 00:29:19,959
Please, call me Rodney.
855
00:29:20,526 --> 00:29:21,360
Oh, my.
856
00:29:22,628 --> 00:29:24,362
You could be Sarita's daughter.
857
00:29:24,363 --> 00:29:26,565
- Oh, stop it. (CHUCKLES)
- FARVA: Ah.
858
00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:29,367
And Dr. Mukundan,
it is a pleasure.
859
00:29:29,368 --> 00:29:30,701
I've heard tell
of your brilliance.
860
00:29:30,702 --> 00:29:31,702
Heard what?
861
00:29:31,703 --> 00:29:32,871
"Tell," Arcot.
862
00:29:32,872 --> 00:29:34,205
They say it on my favorite show,
863
00:29:34,206 --> 00:29:35,340
Game o' Thrones.
864
00:29:35,341 --> 00:29:36,975
Game of Thrones!
We love that show.
865
00:29:36,976 --> 00:29:38,409
We watch it on the HBO.
866
00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:41,212
- "On the HBO."
- (CHUCKLES)
867
00:29:41,213 --> 00:29:42,949
(GROANS, CLEARS THROAT)
868
00:29:43,883 --> 00:29:45,116
I brought a gift.
869
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:46,717
- Oh, my goodness.
- MEHTA: What? Aw.
870
00:29:46,718 --> 00:29:48,454
- How sweet.
- I wrapped it myself.
871
00:29:48,888 --> 00:29:50,823
- I used to work at Macy's.
- (GASPS)
872
00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:52,723
Gandhi.
873
00:29:52,724 --> 00:29:53,758
It's my favorite film.
874
00:29:53,759 --> 00:29:55,793
Oh, please. You've seen Gandhi?
875
00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:58,196
I have. I watched it recently.
On my watch.
876
00:29:58,197 --> 00:30:00,631
You know, Dad thinks he looks
like Sir Ben Kingsley.
877
00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:01,833
Well, I don't know about that.
878
00:30:01,834 --> 00:30:05,003
He wishes. Ben Kingsley.
He puts the "hot" in Mahatma.
879
00:30:05,004 --> 00:30:06,204
I hear they're making a sequel.
880
00:30:06,205 --> 00:30:08,139
How? He dies in the end!
881
00:30:08,140 --> 00:30:09,240
(SCOFFS) Spoiler alert.
882
00:30:09,241 --> 00:30:12,510
They're calling it
Gandhi Two: Electric Vindaloo.
883
00:30:12,511 --> 00:30:13,879
(ALL LAUGH)
884
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,213
He is hilarious.
885
00:30:15,214 --> 00:30:18,116
(SIGHS) Speaking of Gandhi,
I'm starving.
886
00:30:18,117 --> 00:30:20,886
Sorry, Rod, they don't serve
the McRib here.
887
00:30:20,887 --> 00:30:22,721
Oh, good one.
Uh, waitress.
888
00:30:24,156 --> 00:30:25,490
(CLEARS THROAT) Hi.
889
00:30:25,491 --> 00:30:28,259
We will have, uh, a tray
of cucumber sandwiches
890
00:30:28,260 --> 00:30:31,529
with herb labneh spread,
and how about a tower of scones
891
00:30:31,530 --> 00:30:33,631
with lemon curd and marmalade.
892
00:30:33,632 --> 00:30:34,966
And your choice of tea?
893
00:30:34,967 --> 00:30:36,134
Darjeeling, of course.
894
00:30:36,135 --> 00:30:37,302
Excellent choice, sir.
895
00:30:37,303 --> 00:30:38,703
Oh, my God. Rodney,
896
00:30:38,704 --> 00:30:40,972
I had no idea you knew
so much about high tea.
897
00:30:40,973 --> 00:30:43,008
Well, don't tell anyone,
they might think I have low T.
898
00:30:43,009 --> 00:30:44,775
We all know you got that wide D.
899
00:30:44,776 --> 00:30:45,944
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, no, you didn't.
900
00:30:45,945 --> 00:30:47,012
Yes, I did.
901
00:30:47,013 --> 00:30:48,713
- (SARITA AND FARVA LAUGH)
- What's "wide D"?
902
00:30:48,714 --> 00:30:49,780
No-- Nothing. Never mind.
903
00:30:49,781 --> 00:30:51,082
You know what wide D is, right?
904
00:30:51,083 --> 00:30:52,283
- No.
- Oh.
905
00:30:52,284 --> 00:30:54,419
(GASPS) Look at that.
Good service here, huh?
906
00:30:54,420 --> 00:30:56,321
Oh. Do you wanna pour?
907
00:30:56,322 --> 00:30:57,956
(CHUCKLES)
As a matter of fact, I do.
908
00:30:57,957 --> 00:30:59,390
- MEHTA: Oh.
- Mehta,
909
00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:01,927
may I tea you up? (CHUCKLES)
910
00:31:01,928 --> 00:31:03,828
He's such a gentleman.
911
00:31:03,829 --> 00:31:05,530
Just call me Mr. T.
912
00:31:05,531 --> 00:31:06,831
(AS MR. T) Because I pity
the fool
913
00:31:06,832 --> 00:31:08,133
- who doesn't like tea.
- (MEHTA AND SARITA LAUGH)
914
00:31:08,134 --> 00:31:10,835
It's Mr. T pouring the tea!
915
00:31:10,836 --> 00:31:12,237
- (RAMATHORNS LAUGH)
- (SIGHS)
916
00:31:12,238 --> 00:31:14,072
I wonder if they have
any white tea here.
917
00:31:14,073 --> 00:31:16,241
Oh wait, that's me! Whitey!
(LAUGHS)
918
00:31:16,242 --> 00:31:17,542
(LAUGHS)
919
00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,211
We do like racial humor.
920
00:31:19,545 --> 00:31:21,579
- Who doesn't?
- (CHUCKLES)
921
00:31:21,580 --> 00:31:23,381
Bottoms up! Cheers, everyone.
922
00:31:23,382 --> 00:31:24,583
- Cheers.
- (FARVA CHUCKLES)
923
00:31:24,850 --> 00:31:26,885
Hey, pinky boner. Pinky boner.
It's classy. Pinky boner.
924
00:31:27,153 --> 00:31:28,119
Pinky boner. Do the pinky boner.
925
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:29,120
Stop kicking me.
926
00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:30,655
- Suck my pinky boner.
- Cut the shit!
927
00:31:30,656 --> 00:31:31,789
Stop kicking me!
928
00:31:31,790 --> 00:31:33,058
(GUTTURALLY) Pinky boner.
929
00:31:33,059 --> 00:31:34,592
- (RADIO CHIRPS)
- MARKOWSKI: Ramathorn.
930
00:31:34,593 --> 00:31:36,861
We've got another
vandalized Moose Clock truck.
931
00:31:36,862 --> 00:31:39,530
Wow, that's several
syrup supplies sabotaged.
932
00:31:39,531 --> 00:31:41,532
(LAUGHS) Try saying that
ten times fast, right?
933
00:31:41,533 --> 00:31:49,040
Several syrup supplies
sabotaged.
934
00:31:49,041 --> 00:31:49,875
- Several syrup supplies...
- (GIGGLING)
935
00:31:50,109 --> 00:31:51,342
...sabotaged. Several syrup
supplies sabotaged.
936
00:31:51,343 --> 00:31:54,179
Several syrup supplies
sabotaged.
937
00:31:54,180 --> 00:31:56,281
(ROOM CHEERING, CLAPPING)
938
00:31:56,282 --> 00:31:57,416
Thank you, tearoom.
939
00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,284
- Thank you, tearoom.
- TEA ROOM PATRON: Nicely done.
940
00:31:59,285 --> 00:32:01,286
In the back, thank you.
(CHUCKLES)
941
00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:02,221
- I gotta go.
- (RADIO CHIRPS)
942
00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:03,654
Ramathorn,
are you with your parents?
943
00:32:03,655 --> 00:32:04,589
Yeah, they're right here.
944
00:32:04,590 --> 00:32:06,457
MARKOWSKI:
Uh, Dr. and Dr. Ramathorn.
945
00:32:06,458 --> 00:32:09,027
Can-- can I just tell you how
excited I am for the wedding?
946
00:32:09,028 --> 00:32:11,262
Yeah, I'm a huge fan
of your culture.
947
00:32:11,263 --> 00:32:12,430
- Just the focus on community...
- Ugh.
948
00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:14,265
- Small brown-noser. No offense.
- ...and I studied...
949
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,201
- ...Hinduism a little bit.
- THORNY: Um, I'm-- I'm...
950
00:32:15,334 --> 00:32:16,801
- ...I'm coming. I'm coming.
- (STIFLED GIGGLING)
951
00:32:16,802 --> 00:32:17,703
(SIGHS)
952
00:32:18,070 --> 00:32:20,238
Yeah, send me the address
and I'll be on my way.
953
00:32:20,239 --> 00:32:21,639
- (GRUNTS)
- (ALL GASPING)
954
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,975
- (DISHES CLATTER)
- A bull in a china shop.
955
00:32:23,976 --> 00:32:26,844
- (MEHTA CHUCKLES)
- He's "might-tea" clumsy!
956
00:32:26,845 --> 00:32:28,079
- Oh! (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHTER)
957
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,714
Good one, Dad.
Can I call you Dad?
958
00:32:29,715 --> 00:32:31,383
Of course you can!
959
00:32:32,084 --> 00:32:34,420
Okay, Farva. Game on!
960
00:32:37,156 --> 00:32:38,224
(CAMERA CLICKS)
961
00:32:38,390 --> 00:32:40,891
THORNY: Yeah, he had a gift.
His hair was parted.
962
00:32:40,892 --> 00:32:42,127
He was in a seersucker suit.
963
00:32:42,128 --> 00:32:43,528
A seersucker suit.
964
00:32:43,529 --> 00:32:44,962
He was one step ahead.
965
00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:46,198
PASSERBY: Fuck Big Syrup!
966
00:32:46,598 --> 00:32:47,433
I know!
967
00:32:47,699 --> 00:32:49,734
Driver came out a rest stop,
and the truck was gone.
968
00:32:49,735 --> 00:32:51,402
Turned up here later,
all shot up.
969
00:32:51,403 --> 00:32:53,039
(SIREN WAILS)
970
00:32:59,711 --> 00:33:02,214
Nice, Rookie, I'm impressed.
971
00:33:02,748 --> 00:33:04,449
Might have to steal you
for our station.
972
00:33:04,450 --> 00:33:07,118
Hey, thanks. Yeah,
it's the cone-flip challenge.
973
00:33:07,119 --> 00:33:08,653
Just one
of the many useful skills
974
00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:10,655
- my generation has to offer.
- (CHUCKLES)
975
00:33:10,656 --> 00:33:12,223
Hey, your rookie's funny.
976
00:33:12,224 --> 00:33:14,225
(SCOFFS) Kiss-ass.
977
00:33:14,226 --> 00:33:16,027
Man. Ursula looks really good.
978
00:33:16,028 --> 00:33:18,263
I think she's handling
this breakup very well.
979
00:33:18,264 --> 00:33:19,530
Yeah, and I'm happy for her.
980
00:33:19,531 --> 00:33:20,798
Fuck Moose Clock!
981
00:33:20,799 --> 00:33:22,734
Thank you.
Whole town's a suspect.
982
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:23,669
I have a theory.
983
00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:25,736
You guys remember
when grass became legal,
984
00:33:25,737 --> 00:33:27,205
and all the Big Weed companies
moved in?
985
00:33:27,206 --> 00:33:28,873
- RABBIT: Yeah.
- Who did we bust
986
00:33:28,874 --> 00:33:30,908
for vandalizing
all those dispensaries?
987
00:33:30,909 --> 00:33:32,543
Graffiti. Smashed windows.
988
00:33:32,544 --> 00:33:34,112
- (BULLETS CLINK)
- Bullets.
989
00:33:34,113 --> 00:33:36,315
Buchanan brothers. Big Weed
put them out of business.
990
00:33:36,715 --> 00:33:38,416
This feels like the same energy.
991
00:33:38,417 --> 00:33:40,151
- (BIRDS CHIRP)
- (URSULA CHUCKLES)
992
00:33:40,152 --> 00:33:42,153
- (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- (LAUGHS)
993
00:33:42,154 --> 00:33:43,454
- COY: All right.
- URSULA: All right.
994
00:33:43,455 --> 00:33:45,157
- Yeah, looks good. Okay.
- Okay, cool. All right.
995
00:33:45,424 --> 00:33:47,959
Did-- did she just give Coy
her phone number?
996
00:33:48,494 --> 00:33:50,528
Well, she is single.
997
00:33:50,529 --> 00:33:51,996
I'll slide you those smash pics
a little later.
998
00:33:51,997 --> 00:33:53,030
Can't wait.
999
00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:54,132
"Smash pics"?
1000
00:33:54,133 --> 00:33:55,933
That sounds sexual to me.
1001
00:33:55,934 --> 00:33:57,202
- (SCOFFS)
- It does.
1002
00:33:57,203 --> 00:33:58,736
All right,
according to Urban Dictionary,
1003
00:33:58,737 --> 00:34:00,205
to slide smash pics means
1004
00:34:00,206 --> 00:34:04,375
"to send explicit photos
for mutual masturbation...
1005
00:34:04,376 --> 00:34:06,444
- or smash-turbation."
- (SNICKERS)
1006
00:34:06,445 --> 00:34:09,014
- Yeah. Hilarious, Mac.
- (CHUCKLES)
1007
00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:13,485
That's crowd-sourced.
Anybody can write anything.
1008
00:34:14,086 --> 00:34:14,953
Do you need to sit down?
1009
00:34:15,187 --> 00:34:17,388
No! I'm fine!
This is what I wanted. Okay?
1010
00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:18,923
(STAMMERS)
Let's just stop fucking around
1011
00:34:18,924 --> 00:34:19,925
and solve the crime.
1012
00:34:20,492 --> 00:34:22,193
Why is it always fucking around
with you guys? (STAMMERS)
1013
00:34:22,194 --> 00:34:24,062
Let's just--
Let's go talk to the Buchanans.
1014
00:34:24,430 --> 00:34:25,596
- Can't take anything seriously.
- (WHEEZES)
1015
00:34:25,597 --> 00:34:28,099
- (TURKEYS GOBBLE)
- (ENGINE WHIRS)
1016
00:34:28,100 --> 00:34:30,801
So, why would the Buchanans
care about syrup?
1017
00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:32,637
Aren't they event planners now?
1018
00:34:32,638 --> 00:34:34,139
Well, I got a hunch, Rook.
1019
00:34:34,140 --> 00:34:36,874
And a good cop
always follows his hunches.
1020
00:34:36,875 --> 00:34:38,243
Hey, so what's your deal,
anyway, Coy?
1021
00:34:38,244 --> 00:34:39,710
You got a girlfriend?
Uh-- Boyfriend?
1022
00:34:39,711 --> 00:34:41,847
You know, whatever,
I don't care. I'm just curious.
1023
00:34:42,214 --> 00:34:45,383
Nah, no girlfriend.
But I am tending a couple fires.
1024
00:34:45,384 --> 00:34:47,218
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
- Not anybody we know,
1025
00:34:47,219 --> 00:34:49,120
though, right? I mean.
I only have one rule,
1026
00:34:49,121 --> 00:34:50,421
and that's
don't shit where you eat.
1027
00:34:50,422 --> 00:34:51,756
And that's obvious, yeah.
1028
00:34:51,757 --> 00:34:54,058
So, uh, you never had
a taco on the toilet?
1029
00:34:54,059 --> 00:34:55,860
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
1030
00:34:55,861 --> 00:34:56,928
No.
1031
00:34:58,630 --> 00:35:00,432
I don't think I've ever
had a taco on the toilet.
1032
00:35:03,502 --> 00:35:05,370
Definitely had a cupcake
on the commode, though.
1033
00:35:05,371 --> 00:35:06,571
- COY: Hm!
- (CHUCKLES)
1034
00:35:06,572 --> 00:35:08,406
You ever had a cupcake
on the commode, Coy?
1035
00:35:08,407 --> 00:35:09,941
(CHUCKLES)
I don't know what that is.
1036
00:35:10,309 --> 00:35:12,278
MAC: What? I'll show you
sometime. You're gonna love it.
1037
00:35:16,282 --> 00:35:18,416
Wow, what a lovely spot
for Farva's wedding.
1038
00:35:18,417 --> 00:35:20,084
MAC: Yeah.
Perfect place for me to get
1039
00:35:20,085 --> 00:35:21,753
blacked-out drunk. (CHUCKLES)
1040
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:23,254
Okay.
1041
00:35:23,255 --> 00:35:27,158
Now,
I think this EV has self-park.
1042
00:35:27,159 --> 00:35:28,359
Yeah, you want me
to show you how it works?
1043
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:29,695
Hey, back off. He's got it.
1044
00:35:29,961 --> 00:35:32,497
- Okay. Oh, yeah. There we go.
- (TOUCHPAD CHIMES)
1045
00:35:32,498 --> 00:35:34,265
- (ENGINE WHIRS)
- Yeah-- Oh!
1046
00:35:34,266 --> 00:35:36,168
(METALLIC CLATTER)
1047
00:35:38,537 --> 00:35:40,472
Sensor didn't fucking ding.
It should ding.
1048
00:35:40,872 --> 00:35:42,007
I don't think it had time.
1049
00:35:42,408 --> 00:35:45,410
You could just park that
anywhere, Officer. (CHUCKLES)
1050
00:35:45,411 --> 00:35:46,777
Guess it's not quite as familiar
1051
00:35:46,778 --> 00:35:48,546
as your mobility scooter,
now is it, Mac?
1052
00:35:48,547 --> 00:35:50,715
(BOTH LAUGH)
1053
00:35:50,716 --> 00:35:52,082
The sensor didn't ding.
1054
00:35:52,083 --> 00:35:53,784
It probably didn't have
enough time.
1055
00:35:53,785 --> 00:35:55,253
Yeah, well, you boys
are a little early
1056
00:35:55,254 --> 00:35:57,255
for the Farva nuptials.
How can we help you?
1057
00:35:57,256 --> 00:35:58,723
It seems like
somebody's been vandalizing
1058
00:35:58,724 --> 00:36:00,626
these Moose Clock syrup trucks.
1059
00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:02,360
Wondering if you knew
anything about that?
1060
00:36:02,361 --> 00:36:04,295
Why would we know anything
about that?
1061
00:36:04,296 --> 00:36:06,764
Well, you vandalized
those weed dispensaries
1062
00:36:06,765 --> 00:36:07,699
back in the day.
1063
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,236
So, we thought,
"Big Weed, Big Syrup."
1064
00:36:11,237 --> 00:36:12,870
- (SCOFFS)
- That's a big jump
1065
00:36:12,871 --> 00:36:14,171
is what that is. (LAUGHS)
1066
00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:15,173
No, we had reason to.
1067
00:36:15,341 --> 00:36:16,907
Those Big Weed dicks
put us out of business.
1068
00:36:16,908 --> 00:36:18,377
BETTIE: Steve! Baker!
1069
00:36:18,877 --> 00:36:20,578
Where are my
Vermont cheese baskets?
1070
00:36:20,579 --> 00:36:23,047
Shit. Cousin Bettie's
chewing us out again.
1071
00:36:23,048 --> 00:36:24,349
You guys have got to stop
1072
00:36:24,350 --> 00:36:25,783
taking the baskets
and eating the cheese.
1073
00:36:25,784 --> 00:36:26,618
The cheese is expensive.
1074
00:36:26,818 --> 00:36:28,219
I know that it's missing.
Stop munching on it!
1075
00:36:28,220 --> 00:36:30,822
- Steve did it.
- Uh, I had like a cube or two.
1076
00:36:31,390 --> 00:36:33,090
Officers. (SIGHS)
What can I help you with?
1077
00:36:33,091 --> 00:36:34,425
Hey, Bettie!
1078
00:36:34,426 --> 00:36:36,160
We were just asking about
the maple syrup truck
1079
00:36:36,161 --> 00:36:37,495
that got vandalized last night.
1080
00:36:37,496 --> 00:36:38,863
(SCOFFS) More like corn syrup.
1081
00:36:38,864 --> 00:36:40,865
(CHUCKLES)
I've been saying the same thing.
1082
00:36:40,866 --> 00:36:42,901
Why? Are we being interrogated?
1083
00:36:43,302 --> 00:36:44,702
Are you gonna cuff me
1084
00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:46,036
and throw me
in the back of your car?
1085
00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:47,204
(CHUCKLES)
1086
00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:48,539
Sure, if you want.
1087
00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:50,475
Uh, no. We don't know anything
about the truck.
1088
00:36:50,476 --> 00:36:52,910
We were here last night
prepping for this event.
1089
00:36:52,911 --> 00:36:55,179
- Okay, cool. Sounds good to me.
- JERRY: (OVER RADIO) Bettie,
1090
00:36:55,180 --> 00:36:56,414
we really need
those cheese baskets.
1091
00:36:56,415 --> 00:36:57,516
- Jerry, Jerry.
- They're the centerpiece...
1092
00:36:57,616 --> 00:36:59,216
- I hear you. I hear you.
- ...of the table.
1093
00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:00,651
- The baskets are on their way.
- What the fuck
1094
00:37:00,652 --> 00:37:02,521
- is wrong with you?
- Stop. That's condescending.
1095
00:37:03,255 --> 00:37:05,390
Boys, why don't you send
these sweet super troopers
1096
00:37:05,391 --> 00:37:07,325
on the road
with a gift basket of their own?
1097
00:37:07,326 --> 00:37:08,626
- Oh!
- Thanks!
1098
00:37:08,627 --> 00:37:10,462
- Whatever.
- Catch you later, Bettie.
1099
00:37:13,532 --> 00:37:14,600
STEVE: (SNAPS FINGERS) Hey.
1100
00:37:15,534 --> 00:37:18,837
That soft cheese will be good
for your dentures, old man.
1101
00:37:19,204 --> 00:37:21,706
Oh... Oh, yeah? Yeah.
1102
00:37:21,707 --> 00:37:23,342
(MUFFLED) Oh, oh, shit. Mm--
1103
00:37:23,709 --> 00:37:25,676
You know, if you put
the car in auto-drive,
1104
00:37:25,677 --> 00:37:27,044
you can get two mitts
on that cracker.
1105
00:37:27,045 --> 00:37:28,012
Uh, I-I can show you how!
1106
00:37:28,013 --> 00:37:29,047
I've got it!
1107
00:37:29,915 --> 00:37:33,284
So, uh, Mac. What do you make
of your Buchanan theory now?
1108
00:37:33,285 --> 00:37:34,386
Who gives a shit?
1109
00:37:34,486 --> 00:37:36,253
Do you see how into me
Bettie was? (CHUCKLES)
1110
00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:37,988
I saw how your voice goes up
three octaves
1111
00:37:37,989 --> 00:37:39,290
every time you talk to her.
1112
00:37:39,291 --> 00:37:42,159
What? My voice did not
go up three octaves.
1113
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,161
And when you abandoned
your little theory right away.
1114
00:37:44,162 --> 00:37:46,096
Not true. They all had alibis.
1115
00:37:46,097 --> 00:37:49,100
So, ipso facto, I don't think
it's them anymore.
1116
00:37:49,635 --> 00:37:51,837
Well, I don't think you're
using "ipso facto" correctly.
1117
00:37:52,170 --> 00:37:54,839
Maybe, but, ipso facto,
it's not them.
1118
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:56,874
You are using it correctly.
It's Latin.
1119
00:37:56,875 --> 00:37:58,876
Thank you, Rookie,
you've earned a treat.
1120
00:37:58,877 --> 00:38:00,378
Ooh. Thank you very much.
1121
00:38:00,379 --> 00:38:02,880
And regardless,
Bettie is totally into me.
1122
00:38:02,881 --> 00:38:05,082
Please. You're twice her age.
1123
00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:06,351
COY: Eh, you know,
in my experience,
1124
00:38:06,352 --> 00:38:08,453
when it comes to sex,
age is just a number.
1125
00:38:08,454 --> 00:38:09,821
No one asked you, Coy.
1126
00:38:09,921 --> 00:38:13,558
Old people and young people
shouldn't fuck. You got that?
1127
00:38:13,559 --> 00:38:14,959
And will you spread me
some of that
1128
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:16,962
Délice de Bourgogne? Oh!
1129
00:38:17,929 --> 00:38:19,831
(TRAIN HORN BLOWS)
1130
00:38:20,832 --> 00:38:22,867
(GRUNTING RHYTHMICALLY)
1131
00:38:22,868 --> 00:38:24,302
(DOOR BELLS CHIME)
1132
00:38:24,903 --> 00:38:27,806
Ooh, ooh-ee! Hot damn!
Check out Hindu, P.I.
1133
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:30,575
(INDIAN ACCENT)
I am Detective Ravi Patel.
1134
00:38:30,576 --> 00:38:32,943
I don't eat meat.
I don't carry a gun.
1135
00:38:32,944 --> 00:38:36,046
But I love to kick ass!
(GRUNTS GOOFILY)
1136
00:38:36,047 --> 00:38:38,115
Hindu, P.I.! Coming this fall!
1137
00:38:38,116 --> 00:38:39,584
(SCOFFS) Maybe on Tubi.
1138
00:38:39,585 --> 00:38:42,052
Oh, sorry we're late, Thorn.
Couldn't find the place.
1139
00:38:42,053 --> 00:38:43,654
It's the only
clothing store in Little India.
1140
00:38:43,655 --> 00:38:44,523
Oh.
1141
00:38:44,623 --> 00:38:46,457
- We went to Turban Outfitters.
- Ah.
1142
00:38:46,458 --> 00:38:48,325
Hey. Where's Farva?
1143
00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:50,695
Have I missed
the cultural insensitivity show?
1144
00:38:50,696 --> 00:38:52,831
- No, no. It's about to start.
- Mm.
1145
00:38:54,132 --> 00:38:56,901
Hey, hey, hey!
I love these clothes!
1146
00:38:56,902 --> 00:38:58,135
(GASPS)
1147
00:38:58,136 --> 00:38:59,804
(IN BRITISH)
I look like one of the Beatles.
1148
00:38:59,805 --> 00:39:01,572
(CHUCKLES) Beatles, he says.
1149
00:39:01,573 --> 00:39:04,041
I'm Dingo Starr! (LAUGHS)
1150
00:39:04,042 --> 00:39:05,676
- How wonderful.
- Hey! What do you call this
1151
00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:07,044
- getup again?
- A sherwani.
1152
00:39:07,045 --> 00:39:09,113
Well, I "sherwanna"
keep wearing it!
1153
00:39:09,114 --> 00:39:10,449
- Ha!
- Ha.
1154
00:39:11,016 --> 00:39:12,550
- (SARITA GIGGLES)
- It's a pretty good joke.
1155
00:39:12,551 --> 00:39:14,985
Oh, babe, I can't imagine
my life without you.
1156
00:39:14,986 --> 00:39:16,054
Aw.
1157
00:39:16,755 --> 00:39:18,889
- Aw... Ooh! Get a handful!
- (SARITA GRUNTS)
1158
00:39:18,890 --> 00:39:20,491
- FARVA: Those are my glutes!
- (THORNY GROANS)
1159
00:39:20,492 --> 00:39:21,759
- So beautiful.
- (THORNY LAUGHS)
1160
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,428
Okay, there's our
handsome groom.
1161
00:39:23,429 --> 00:39:25,796
Looking very good. Ugh!
Thank God for this store.
1162
00:39:25,797 --> 00:39:27,698
You know, this is our first
Indian wedding at the farm,
1163
00:39:27,699 --> 00:39:30,234
so we've had to source
everything from Canada.
1164
00:39:30,235 --> 00:39:31,269
Food, decorations, everything.
1165
00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:33,971
They're even getting us
an elephant from Montreal.
1166
00:39:33,972 --> 00:39:35,406
Bettie has been amazing.
1167
00:39:35,407 --> 00:39:36,241
(SHRILLY) Hi, Bettie!
1168
00:39:37,342 --> 00:39:38,176
Hi, Mac.
1169
00:39:38,544 --> 00:39:39,744
BETTIE: Okay, Sarita, Mehta,
1170
00:39:39,745 --> 00:39:41,513
I have some jewelry to show you.
Come on.
1171
00:39:41,847 --> 00:39:42,681
FARVA: Have fun!
1172
00:39:43,081 --> 00:39:43,915
(SHRILLY) See you later, Bettie.
1173
00:39:46,952 --> 00:39:48,619
You know that's, like,
four octaves higher.
1174
00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:49,555
(NORMAL PITCH)
Nonsense.
1175
00:39:49,821 --> 00:39:52,657
Thank God. I gotta get out
of this tandoori straitjacket.
1176
00:39:52,658 --> 00:39:54,258
What? You were just saying
how much you liked it.
1177
00:39:54,259 --> 00:39:55,093
Yeah, right.
1178
00:39:55,326 --> 00:39:57,462
Hey, Thorny, how do I get
some help in this dump?
1179
00:39:57,463 --> 00:39:59,497
What do I have to do,
rub a lamp? (CACKLES)
1180
00:39:59,498 --> 00:40:00,631
You're an idiot!
1181
00:40:00,632 --> 00:40:02,533
Hey, watch that tone, Geronimo.
I'll pull your plus one.
1182
00:40:02,534 --> 00:40:03,801
I don't want a plus one.
1183
00:40:03,802 --> 00:40:05,369
Fine, no plus ones for anyone.
1184
00:40:05,370 --> 00:40:06,871
I-I was gonna bring a date.
1185
00:40:06,872 --> 00:40:09,074
Nah, I don't want you bringing
some Yugoslavian hooker.
1186
00:40:09,475 --> 00:40:10,641
Can I get a minus one?
1187
00:40:10,642 --> 00:40:11,942
I don't know. Who's it for?
1188
00:40:11,943 --> 00:40:12,811
For me.
1189
00:40:13,845 --> 00:40:16,280
So I don't have to go.
Don't make me explain this joke.
1190
00:40:16,281 --> 00:40:18,716
Why don't you save the jokes
for the bachelor party, Jim-Jim?
1191
00:40:18,717 --> 00:40:19,984
- (CHUCKLES)
- (PHONE DINGS)
1192
00:40:19,985 --> 00:40:21,318
Farva, there's one more
1193
00:40:21,319 --> 00:40:22,820
family tradition
you've gotta do.
1194
00:40:22,821 --> 00:40:24,922
Oh. Right on.
Let's do it, Best Man.
1195
00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:26,957
(FAINT HISSING, RATTLING)
1196
00:40:26,958 --> 00:40:30,461
No, no. We ended this tradition
after the catastrophe in Madras.
1197
00:40:30,462 --> 00:40:32,863
Yeah, Thorny, we didn't do this
at your wedding.
1198
00:40:32,864 --> 00:40:34,665
And look how
my marriage turned out.
1199
00:40:34,666 --> 00:40:36,100
Might've been the swinging.
1200
00:40:36,101 --> 00:40:36,968
MUKUNDAN: Yes, MacIntyre,
1201
00:40:37,202 --> 00:40:39,704
it might've been the swinging,
but this is a bad idea.
1202
00:40:39,705 --> 00:40:42,473
Okay, Farva.
Time to pick your snake.
1203
00:40:42,474 --> 00:40:44,676
- Snakes.
- (HISSING)
1204
00:40:45,611 --> 00:40:46,711
Snakes?
1205
00:40:46,712 --> 00:40:48,012
In our family's tradition,
1206
00:40:48,013 --> 00:40:50,380
the groom picks
his most compatible snake
1207
00:40:50,381 --> 00:40:52,517
- for the wedding cobra dance.
- (SHARP HISS)
1208
00:40:52,518 --> 00:40:53,351
Is that legal?
1209
00:40:53,519 --> 00:40:55,052
I would not describe it
that way.
1210
00:40:55,053 --> 00:40:56,286
- Aren't they poisonous?
- FOSTER: Mm.
1211
00:40:56,287 --> 00:40:58,122
Technically,
"poisonous" refers to animals
1212
00:40:58,123 --> 00:40:59,590
that kill you when you eat them.
1213
00:40:59,591 --> 00:41:00,891
"Venomous" would be
the word for
1214
00:41:00,892 --> 00:41:02,493
an animal that injects a toxin--
1215
00:41:02,494 --> 00:41:03,861
Shut it, douche-nozzle.
1216
00:41:03,862 --> 00:41:06,363
Don't worry. They remove
the venom glands at birth.
1217
00:41:06,364 --> 00:41:07,965
What's left is only residual.
1218
00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:10,168
I mean, these snakes
are basically tame.
1219
00:41:10,569 --> 00:41:12,169
Oh, shit! Did one get out?
1220
00:41:12,170 --> 00:41:14,572
- Oh!
- (ALL SCREAMING)
1221
00:41:14,573 --> 00:41:16,507
(SNAKES HISS)
1222
00:41:16,508 --> 00:41:18,776
Don't worry. Don't worry.
Just a shadow.
1223
00:41:18,777 --> 00:41:21,880
- Just a shadow, sorry, sorry.
- (AGGRESSIVE HISSING)
1224
00:41:24,550 --> 00:41:25,784
(HISSING CONTINUES)
1225
00:41:26,284 --> 00:41:28,119
THORNY:
Okay, Farva, the time has come.
1226
00:41:28,554 --> 00:41:30,989
- Okay, well... Huh.
- (HISSING)
1227
00:41:31,256 --> 00:41:32,156
Hey, guy.
1228
00:41:32,157 --> 00:41:33,891
(HISSES)
1229
00:41:33,892 --> 00:41:35,192
This guy's actually kinda cute.
1230
00:41:35,193 --> 00:41:36,794
- Hey, little guy.
- (HISSES)
1231
00:41:36,795 --> 00:41:38,128
(ALL SCREAMING)
1232
00:41:38,129 --> 00:41:39,830
- Holy shit!
- (SARITA SCREAMS)
1233
00:41:39,831 --> 00:41:42,266
- (GROANS)
- (SCREAMING CONTINUES)
1234
00:41:42,267 --> 00:41:43,568
MEHTA: Bettie, get some pillows.
1235
00:41:43,569 --> 00:41:45,002
- Okay.
- MUKUNDAN: Whoa...
1236
00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:46,971
- Oh.
- Am I gonna die?
1237
00:41:46,972 --> 00:41:49,239
Don't worry.
It's just residual venom.
1238
00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:50,675
You said they weren't poisonous.
1239
00:41:50,676 --> 00:41:52,109
- Venomous.
- Fuck you!
1240
00:41:52,110 --> 00:41:54,912
Since it's the neck,
it's best to suck it out.
1241
00:41:54,913 --> 00:41:57,282
Thorny, this was your idea.
You suck it out!
1242
00:41:57,683 --> 00:42:00,618
Well, it is Sarita's boyfriend,
so shouldn't she suck it out?
1243
00:42:00,619 --> 00:42:01,819
I'm not gonna have
swollen lips
1244
00:42:01,820 --> 00:42:03,554
right before my wedding, okay?
So no chance.
1245
00:42:03,555 --> 00:42:04,622
Enough!
1246
00:42:04,623 --> 00:42:07,157
These lazy children of mine.
I'll suck it!
1247
00:42:07,158 --> 00:42:08,593
- (GROANS)
- (SQUELCHING)
1248
00:42:08,594 --> 00:42:10,460
- Rodney! Listen to me.
- (FARVA GROANS)
1249
00:42:10,461 --> 00:42:11,897
- What do we say to death?
- (SQUELCHING)
1250
00:42:12,297 --> 00:42:15,299
- "Not today. Not today!"
- (FARVA GROANS)
1251
00:42:15,300 --> 00:42:17,002
Oh... oh...
1252
00:42:17,502 --> 00:42:19,704
- Check it out.
- (FARVA GROANS)
1253
00:42:19,705 --> 00:42:21,538
- Ooh.
- (GROANS)
1254
00:42:21,539 --> 00:42:23,974
- (SQUELCHING)
- Farva, that's my mom!
1255
00:42:23,975 --> 00:42:25,676
(FARVA GROANING)
1256
00:42:25,677 --> 00:42:27,746
- Hmm? (GROANS)
- (MEHTA SPITS)
1257
00:42:28,714 --> 00:42:30,548
- (FARVA GROANING)
- (SQUELCHING, SPITS)
1258
00:42:32,183 --> 00:42:33,417
(SQUELCHING, SPITS)
1259
00:42:33,418 --> 00:42:34,752
(FARVA GROANS)
1260
00:42:34,753 --> 00:42:36,154
- (SQUELCHING)
- (MAC CLEARS THROAT)
1261
00:42:36,588 --> 00:42:37,888
- (MAC GRUNTS)
- (MEHTA SPITS)
1262
00:42:37,889 --> 00:42:39,590
- (GROANS)
- (SIGHS)
1263
00:42:39,591 --> 00:42:41,659
- I think I got it all.
- (GROANS)
1264
00:42:41,660 --> 00:42:43,628
Terrible idea, Boopy.
1265
00:42:43,629 --> 00:42:45,129
- Terrible!
- (RADIO CHIRPS)
1266
00:42:45,130 --> 00:42:46,997
MARKOWSKI: We've got another
Moose Clock situation.
1267
00:42:46,998 --> 00:42:49,366
Suspicious package
at Sheffield Truck Stop.
1268
00:42:49,367 --> 00:42:52,203
Possible explosive device.
All units respond.
1269
00:42:59,945 --> 00:43:01,312
So that's not your box?
1270
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:05,449
No, sir. I went inside
to inquire about a blowjob.
1271
00:43:05,450 --> 00:43:07,152
And when I came out,
it was just sitting there.
1272
00:43:07,986 --> 00:43:10,221
Okay. So, no security cameras
in the parking lot?
1273
00:43:10,622 --> 00:43:11,922
It's a truck stop.
1274
00:43:11,923 --> 00:43:14,124
My customers expect
a degree of discretion
1275
00:43:14,125 --> 00:43:16,762
when it comes to arranging
blowjobs and what-have-you.
1276
00:43:17,128 --> 00:43:18,696
Appreciate
your refreshing honesty.
1277
00:43:18,697 --> 00:43:20,497
I-- Sorry about your truck.
1278
00:43:20,498 --> 00:43:22,432
Sorry I didn't get my blowjob.
1279
00:43:22,433 --> 00:43:24,034
ONLOOKER:
I hope that truck explodes.
1280
00:43:24,035 --> 00:43:25,002
Moose Clock can go to hell!
1281
00:43:25,003 --> 00:43:25,837
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
1282
00:43:26,237 --> 00:43:28,238
- ONLOOKER: Fuck Moose Clock!
- Sounds like he needs a blowjob.
1283
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:29,340
Deploy the robot.
1284
00:43:32,243 --> 00:43:34,212
This feels like overkill to me.
1285
00:43:34,579 --> 00:43:37,047
FOSTER: What? Suspicious boxes
are why we got the robot.
1286
00:43:37,048 --> 00:43:37,883
Yeah.
1287
00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:42,552
(CROWD LAUGHS)
1288
00:43:42,553 --> 00:43:43,988
Hey, you want
some help with that?
1289
00:43:43,989 --> 00:43:44,823
No, I got it.
1290
00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:47,324
Come on. Let him help.
He's young, he knows computers.
1291
00:43:47,325 --> 00:43:48,393
I know computers.
1292
00:43:48,493 --> 00:43:50,961
Just be careful.
That red box on top is C4.
1293
00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:52,629
I've actually got the
YouTube tutorial right here.
1294
00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:54,264
I know that it's C4, thank you.
1295
00:43:54,265 --> 00:43:56,000
Why don't you go
do crowd control?
1296
00:43:56,001 --> 00:43:56,835
C4.
1297
00:43:57,002 --> 00:43:58,869
All right, everybody,
calm down, calm down.
1298
00:43:58,870 --> 00:44:00,037
Let him try.
He's doing his best.
1299
00:44:00,038 --> 00:44:02,239
Looks like you two
are really hitting it off, huh?
1300
00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:04,742
Come on. Just--
Just pay attention, okay?
1301
00:44:04,743 --> 00:44:06,277
(CROWD MURMURING)
1302
00:44:07,445 --> 00:44:08,814
(CROWD LAUGHS)
1303
00:44:09,214 --> 00:44:11,548
Folks, we know you're all
very angry about Moose Clock.
1304
00:44:11,549 --> 00:44:13,250
We don't love it either. But...
1305
00:44:13,251 --> 00:44:14,819
here's the dildo.
1306
00:44:14,820 --> 00:44:16,253
"Here's the dildo," now?
1307
00:44:16,254 --> 00:44:18,055
Will you just help me out?
Look at the monitor.
1308
00:44:18,056 --> 00:44:19,891
We gotta get it up
on its feet sometime.
1309
00:44:21,827 --> 00:44:23,861
(CROWD LAUGHS)
1310
00:44:23,862 --> 00:44:25,529
Yeah?
Well, I'd like to see you try!
1311
00:44:25,530 --> 00:44:27,865
Oh. You and your
performance anxiety.
1312
00:44:27,866 --> 00:44:30,300
Oh, yeah, please, make a joke
about my erectile dysfunction...
1313
00:44:30,301 --> 00:44:31,269
- What?
- ...in front of everybody.
1314
00:44:31,369 --> 00:44:32,203
- Oh, my God.
- This is the kind of thing...
1315
00:44:32,403 --> 00:44:33,238
- All I'm saying...
- ...that we talked about...
1316
00:44:33,504 --> 00:44:34,304
- ...is that sometimes you--
- ...with Dr. Mancuso.
1317
00:44:34,305 --> 00:44:35,206
- Dr. Mancuso?
- I've been trying
1318
00:44:35,306 --> 00:44:36,140
to focus on the bomb,
and you're getting...
1319
00:44:36,141 --> 00:44:37,107
- Okay.
- ...everybody to...
1320
00:44:37,108 --> 00:44:38,843
- Deep-- (SIGHS)
- ...talk about my erections.
1321
00:44:38,844 --> 00:44:42,413
Let's just focus and get a look
at this stupid fucking bomb.
1322
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,795
Hmm. It's just
a bunch of syrup bottles.
1323
00:44:57,963 --> 00:45:00,697
Oh, shit. Wait. That is my box.
1324
00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:04,001
Hey, my bad!
That actually is my box.
1325
00:45:04,002 --> 00:45:05,203
(CROWD GROANS)
1326
00:45:06,972 --> 00:45:08,239
- Come on.
- Ooh.
1327
00:45:08,339 --> 00:45:10,374
Looks like you jammed
the shaft in a little too deep.
1328
00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:11,541
That's what he said.
1329
00:45:11,542 --> 00:45:12,510
- Nice!
- Oh!
1330
00:45:13,011 --> 00:45:14,612
- (COY AND URSULA CHUCKLE)
- ROBOTIC VOICE: C4 activated.
1331
00:45:14,846 --> 00:45:17,448
(CROWD GASPING, GROANING)
1332
00:45:18,950 --> 00:45:20,117
Bukkake.
1333
00:45:20,118 --> 00:45:22,753
(CROWD LAUGHS)
1334
00:45:22,754 --> 00:45:24,154
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE, LAUGHTER)
1335
00:45:24,155 --> 00:45:25,389
Good day's work, right?
1336
00:45:25,390 --> 00:45:27,057
Well,
if I'm no longer needed here,
1337
00:45:27,058 --> 00:45:29,493
I'm gonna go inside
and look into that blowjob.
1338
00:45:29,494 --> 00:45:30,328
(CHUCKLES)
1339
00:45:31,362 --> 00:45:32,430
MARKOWSKI:
Well, this is great.
1340
00:45:32,864 --> 00:45:35,599
We have to reimburse Moose Clock
for the maple syrup truck.
1341
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:36,934
Come on,
you can't yell at me here.
1342
00:45:36,935 --> 00:45:38,568
This bachelor party
is a "safe space."
1343
00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:39,970
Fine. Tomorrow, then.
1344
00:45:39,971 --> 00:45:42,372
Tomorrow's the wedding.
I think I could do Wednesday.
1345
00:45:42,373 --> 00:45:43,507
You wanna chew me out
on Wednesday?
1346
00:45:43,508 --> 00:45:46,011
Hey, Rookie,
get Markowski a beer.
1347
00:45:46,344 --> 00:45:49,947
It's "Captain!"
Why is this so hard, guys?
1348
00:45:49,948 --> 00:45:53,951
And, no, thank you.
I am the designated driver.
1349
00:45:53,952 --> 00:45:56,720
Grabbing a club soda,
extra tight bubbles.
1350
00:45:56,721 --> 00:45:57,988
Rookie, pour me a beer.
1351
00:45:57,989 --> 00:46:00,324
Man, we're gonna party
till the sun comes up.
1352
00:46:00,325 --> 00:46:01,159
My dude.
1353
00:46:01,326 --> 00:46:02,192
I brought
some leftover fireworks
1354
00:46:02,193 --> 00:46:03,028
from Fourth of July.
1355
00:46:03,161 --> 00:46:05,029
Oh, cool! Did you get us
a bouncy house, too?
1356
00:46:05,030 --> 00:46:06,030
(GROUP CHUCKLES)
1357
00:46:06,031 --> 00:46:07,764
Hey. To Farva.
1358
00:46:07,765 --> 00:46:09,800
May he not show up tonight.
1359
00:46:09,801 --> 00:46:11,002
(GROUP CHUCKLES)
1360
00:46:13,304 --> 00:46:16,741
(ALL GULPING)
1361
00:46:18,844 --> 00:46:21,879
(OVERLAPPING BELCHING)
1362
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:23,748
(GUTTURAL BELCHING)
1363
00:46:24,015 --> 00:46:25,283
MUKUNDAN: Boopy!
1364
00:46:26,217 --> 00:46:27,818
Do we have any hors d'oeuvres,
1365
00:46:27,819 --> 00:46:30,587
or perhaps some crudités,
or shrimp cocktail?
1366
00:46:30,588 --> 00:46:31,889
We're going out to dinner, Dad.
1367
00:46:31,890 --> 00:46:32,789
Okay.
1368
00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:35,325
Inviting your dad
was a strong move.
1369
00:46:35,326 --> 00:46:36,260
Exactly.
1370
00:46:36,261 --> 00:46:39,263
Tonight, he gets
to see Farva unleashed.
1371
00:46:39,264 --> 00:46:40,330
Uh-huh.
1372
00:46:40,331 --> 00:46:41,867
Mushroom chocolate, anyone?
1373
00:46:42,267 --> 00:46:44,169
Mm, you know,
I can't fail another drug test.
1374
00:46:44,702 --> 00:46:46,136
RABBIT: Okay. I'll see you
1375
00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:47,371
- in the Renaissance period.
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
1376
00:46:47,372 --> 00:46:49,206
- (CHUCKLES)
- (CAR HORN PLAYS "LA CUCARACHA")
1377
00:46:49,207 --> 00:46:50,540
- FARVA: I'm here, assholes!
- (CAR DOOR SLAMS)
1378
00:46:50,541 --> 00:46:52,009
The guest of honor is here.
1379
00:46:52,010 --> 00:46:53,343
(ALL SIGH)
1380
00:46:53,344 --> 00:46:55,112
FARVA:
I thought you said Bowl-A-Rama.
1381
00:46:55,113 --> 00:46:57,282
("KING OF SWAG"
BY THE HOWLIN' FÜRS PLAYS)
1382
00:47:01,652 --> 00:47:02,619
FOSTER:
She wants to buy a house,
1383
00:47:02,620 --> 00:47:03,521
but I mean, you've seen
1384
00:47:03,621 --> 00:47:05,255
what the interest rates
are like right now...
1385
00:47:05,256 --> 00:47:06,456
- Oh, here we go.
- (CHUCKLES)
1386
00:47:06,457 --> 00:47:07,892
- Okay, can we just sit, please?
- Baby!
1387
00:47:07,893 --> 00:47:10,095
- WAITER: Enjoy.
- Best bachelor party ever!
1388
00:47:11,462 --> 00:47:12,997
- Rod.
- (CHUCKLES) What?
1389
00:47:12,998 --> 00:47:13,865
- Yeah.
- Hey, um...
1390
00:47:14,699 --> 00:47:15,867
I wanted to give you something,
1391
00:47:16,134 --> 00:47:19,337
for this incredible journey
that you're embarking on.
1392
00:47:19,905 --> 00:47:21,705
It's called Turning Indian,
1393
00:47:21,706 --> 00:47:23,807
My Journey into Indian Culture.
1394
00:47:23,808 --> 00:47:26,243
Hey, check it out, Thorn.
I'm gonna join the tribe.
1395
00:47:26,244 --> 00:47:28,512
(HUMS "THE STREETS OF CAIRO")
1396
00:47:28,513 --> 00:47:29,347
(MELODICALLY) No offense.
1397
00:47:29,948 --> 00:47:32,416
It's actually signed
by the author. So, um...
1398
00:47:32,417 --> 00:47:33,984
Yeah, just treat it with care.
1399
00:47:33,985 --> 00:47:35,953
Yeah, sure, Markowski. Great.
Thank you so much.
1400
00:47:35,954 --> 00:47:37,255
(CHUCKLES) Shots?
1401
00:47:37,588 --> 00:47:39,124
(ALL CHEERING)
1402
00:47:39,390 --> 00:47:41,091
- All right, special guy!
- Hey, hey, ho!
1403
00:47:41,092 --> 00:47:41,992
- Bottoms up!
- Cheers!
1404
00:47:41,993 --> 00:47:43,827
(GROUP CHEERING
IN GIBBERISH)
1405
00:47:43,828 --> 00:47:45,029
How did you--? Can--
1406
00:47:45,030 --> 00:47:47,432
- Can you put that down again?
- Mm-hmm.
1407
00:47:50,268 --> 00:47:51,668
WAITER: (VOICE DISTORTED)
Here you go.
1408
00:47:51,669 --> 00:47:54,638
What? That was really great.
1409
00:47:54,639 --> 00:47:55,473
Thank you.
1410
00:47:56,007 --> 00:47:57,975
That was so freaking cool.
1411
00:47:57,976 --> 00:47:59,076
(FAINT RUMBLING)
1412
00:47:59,077 --> 00:47:59,911
Yeah.
1413
00:48:00,445 --> 00:48:01,546
Oh, wow.
1414
00:48:02,113 --> 00:48:03,613
More shots?
1415
00:48:03,614 --> 00:48:04,548
This round's ouzo.
1416
00:48:04,549 --> 00:48:05,515
Ouzo!
1417
00:48:05,516 --> 00:48:07,117
- FARVA: Oh-ho-ho! Hey, Rookie!
- Rookie!
1418
00:48:07,118 --> 00:48:08,252
FARVA: Keep 'em comin'!
1419
00:48:08,253 --> 00:48:09,386
- Are you seeing this?
- Yeah.
1420
00:48:09,387 --> 00:48:11,455
The rook's
really getting on my nerves.
1421
00:48:11,456 --> 00:48:13,723
Why does it feel like
I'm seeing the world
1422
00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:15,025
through the eyes of a child?
1423
00:48:15,026 --> 00:48:16,793
Ooh...
1424
00:48:16,794 --> 00:48:18,128
Did you have
one of my chocolates?
1425
00:48:18,129 --> 00:48:19,596
One? I had, like, four.
1426
00:48:19,597 --> 00:48:21,265
I know, I know.
Dinner before dessert,
1427
00:48:21,266 --> 00:48:23,934
but I'm not drinking tonight,
so chocolate is my vice.
1428
00:48:23,935 --> 00:48:27,138
Those aren't chocolates.
Those are chocolate chocolates.
1429
00:48:28,306 --> 00:48:29,906
What? What do you mean?
There's something in them?
1430
00:48:29,907 --> 00:48:30,875
Yeah. Low dose mushrooms.
1431
00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:32,944
But, since you had four,
they're high dose mushrooms.
1432
00:48:33,878 --> 00:48:35,045
- What?
- No, it's cool.
1433
00:48:35,046 --> 00:48:36,780
Just stay away
from sharp objects,
1434
00:48:36,781 --> 00:48:38,782
and, uh, don't look yourself
in the mirror.
1435
00:48:38,783 --> 00:48:39,749
(VOICE DISTORTING)
I gotta hit the head,
1436
00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:40,651
but I'll be right back.
1437
00:48:42,453 --> 00:48:43,454
(DISTORTED) Steak knife, sir?
1438
00:48:44,889 --> 00:48:45,723
Thank you.
1439
00:48:49,194 --> 00:48:50,527
(GASPS, WHIMPERS)
1440
00:48:50,528 --> 00:48:52,097
Oh! Oh!
1441
00:48:53,331 --> 00:48:54,365
(SPUTTERS)
1442
00:48:56,334 --> 00:48:59,203
Hey, Mookie.
What's with the ba-zoring salad?
1443
00:48:59,204 --> 00:49:02,040
It's a tangy beet salad
with goat cheese vinaigrette.
1444
00:49:02,473 --> 00:49:03,907
Boo!
1445
00:49:03,908 --> 00:49:05,242
Get this guy some beef.
1446
00:49:05,243 --> 00:49:07,077
Hey, Farva.
My dad's a vegetarian.
1447
00:49:07,078 --> 00:49:08,945
Did you know
he's never even tried beef?
1448
00:49:08,946 --> 00:49:10,015
- Really?
- (MUKUNDAN CHUCKLES)
1449
00:49:10,215 --> 00:49:12,017
(SCOTTISH ACCENT)
We shall have to remedy that.
1450
00:49:13,884 --> 00:49:15,152
Come on, Mookie.
1451
00:49:15,153 --> 00:49:17,954
- Come on, Mookie.
- No. I cannot. I'm a Hindu.
1452
00:49:17,955 --> 00:49:19,056
FARVA: Come on.
1453
00:49:19,057 --> 00:49:20,624
That's it. Come here!
Hey. Just come here.
1454
00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:22,292
- No!
- Don't you run away from me.
1455
00:49:22,293 --> 00:49:23,293
- No!
- The airplane's
1456
00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:24,194
coming in the hangar!
1457
00:49:24,195 --> 00:49:25,829
- No!
- Come on! Here we go!
1458
00:49:25,830 --> 00:49:27,031
- (STAMMERS)
- MUKUNDAN: No!
1459
00:49:27,032 --> 00:49:29,133
- Come here! Come here!
- (SCREAMS)
1460
00:49:29,134 --> 00:49:32,303
- (BOTH GRUNT)
- (GROUP EXCLAIMS)
1461
00:49:32,670 --> 00:49:34,304
Come on, Mookie. (GRUNTS)
1462
00:49:34,305 --> 00:49:35,205
- Come on, Mookie.
- (MUKUNDAN YELLS)
1463
00:49:35,206 --> 00:49:36,140
- No.
- (FARVA GRUNTS)
1464
00:49:36,141 --> 00:49:37,741
Open your meat hole! (LAUGHS)
1465
00:49:37,742 --> 00:49:39,876
(DEADPAN)
Oh, Farva, stop. Please, stop.
1466
00:49:39,877 --> 00:49:40,878
- Open it up.
- No!
1467
00:49:41,046 --> 00:49:44,748
It's forbidden for Hindus.
It's definitely a Hin-don't!
1468
00:49:44,749 --> 00:49:47,418
- I'm coming in! Here we go!
- (YELLS)
1469
00:49:50,388 --> 00:49:52,923
(MOANS)
1470
00:49:55,526 --> 00:49:58,828
Holy cow. It's delicious!
1471
00:49:58,829 --> 00:50:00,330
- Oh!
- It's delicious!
1472
00:50:00,331 --> 00:50:01,431
Dad.
1473
00:50:01,432 --> 00:50:02,367
It's okay, Boopy.
1474
00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:05,569
I caught your mom eating
a quarter pounder in 1999.
1475
00:50:05,570 --> 00:50:07,504
She gave me one beef-ception.
1476
00:50:07,505 --> 00:50:10,374
Yeah! Come on, Mookie!
More beef!
1477
00:50:10,375 --> 00:50:12,509
ALL: (CHANTING)
Come on, Mookie! More beef!
1478
00:50:12,510 --> 00:50:14,078
Come on, Mookie! More beef!
1479
00:50:14,079 --> 00:50:16,113
- Come on, Mookie! More beef!
- My legs really wanna dance!
1480
00:50:16,114 --> 00:50:24,488
Come on, Mookie! More beef!
Come on, Mookie! More beef!
1481
00:50:24,489 --> 00:50:26,156
Come on, Mookie! More beef!
1482
00:50:26,157 --> 00:50:28,292
- (SLURPING)
- (URINATING)
1483
00:50:28,293 --> 00:50:30,127
- FARVA: Thornberry!
- Holy fuck!
1484
00:50:30,128 --> 00:50:31,495
Hey, what's up, man?
1485
00:50:31,496 --> 00:50:33,097
You know how
you're always saying
1486
00:50:33,098 --> 00:50:34,531
that you're Indian?
1487
00:50:34,532 --> 00:50:37,701
In here, you're-a-peein'!
You get it?
1488
00:50:37,702 --> 00:50:39,069
(CACKLES)
1489
00:50:39,070 --> 00:50:41,305
There's water
comin' out ya dick. You get it?
1490
00:50:41,306 --> 00:50:42,140
Yeah, I get it.
1491
00:50:42,307 --> 00:50:44,040
It's the funniest joke
I ever heard.
1492
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:45,675
- (CACKLES)
- (URINATION STOPS)
1493
00:50:45,676 --> 00:50:47,010
- Your father told it to me.
- (TOILET FLUSHES)
1494
00:50:47,011 --> 00:50:49,012
(LAUGHS) He loves me.
1495
00:50:49,013 --> 00:50:50,580
Hold on a second. Oh!
1496
00:50:50,581 --> 00:50:52,882
Someone's afraid of heights.
Let me get that for you.
1497
00:50:52,883 --> 00:50:55,452
- Jesus. Jesus Christ.
- (CHUCKLES) Hey. Hey, buddy.
1498
00:50:55,453 --> 00:50:56,653
(LAUGHS)
1499
00:50:56,654 --> 00:50:59,989
That's cool. Listen.
I wanna say something.
1500
00:50:59,990 --> 00:51:02,792
I know you're kind of against
this whole wedding thing.
1501
00:51:02,793 --> 00:51:05,995
But I just wanna tell you,
I think your sister's awesome,
1502
00:51:05,996 --> 00:51:08,998
and I even like her weird name.
1503
00:51:08,999 --> 00:51:11,668
Sarita. Sarita. Sarita.
1504
00:51:11,669 --> 00:51:13,069
Okay. Let me out.
1505
00:51:13,070 --> 00:51:13,971
No, no, no.
1506
00:51:14,339 --> 00:51:16,474
Sarita break it to you,
Thorn, but I love her.
1507
00:51:16,674 --> 00:51:18,942
And I'm Sarita to be
the one to tell you,
1508
00:51:18,943 --> 00:51:20,344
but we're brothers now.
1509
00:51:20,345 --> 00:51:21,245
No, we're not.
1510
00:51:21,246 --> 00:51:22,247
- Let me out!
- Yeah, come on.
1511
00:51:22,413 --> 00:51:24,114
- No, we're not. Let me out.
- Yes, we are! Yes, we are!
1512
00:51:24,115 --> 00:51:25,382
No, no, no, no, no. Listen.
1513
00:51:25,383 --> 00:51:26,950
Sarita to get personal here,
Thorn.
1514
00:51:26,951 --> 00:51:28,318
But I'mma tell you
the three things
1515
00:51:28,319 --> 00:51:29,653
I love about her, okay?
1516
00:51:29,654 --> 00:51:32,789
Number one. She gives a mean FJ.
That's a foot job.
1517
00:51:32,790 --> 00:51:33,990
Jesus, fuck off.
1518
00:51:33,991 --> 00:51:34,992
Okay. Number two.
1519
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,161
She said we can
name the first kid Farvy.
1520
00:51:37,162 --> 00:51:38,295
Farvy Farva.
1521
00:51:38,296 --> 00:51:39,963
Sounds kinda Indian
don't you think?
1522
00:51:39,964 --> 00:51:40,864
No.
1523
00:51:40,865 --> 00:51:42,432
And number three.
1524
00:51:42,433 --> 00:51:46,136
She said she loves it when
I go downtown to Mumbai town.
1525
00:51:46,137 --> 00:51:47,637
- Fuck off!
- Okay, okay.
1526
00:51:47,638 --> 00:51:48,572
Hey, come on.
1527
00:51:48,573 --> 00:51:50,006
- You wanna watch me piss?
- (DOOR OPENS)
1528
00:51:50,007 --> 00:51:52,410
Hey, I'm-a-peein' in here.
What country's that?
1529
00:51:52,843 --> 00:51:56,446
Did you know that 29
of the last 35 champions
1530
00:51:56,447 --> 00:51:59,749
of the Scripps National
Spelling Bee have been Indian?
1531
00:51:59,750 --> 00:52:03,253
The most recent winner's family
immigrated from Hyderabad,
1532
00:52:03,254 --> 00:52:05,289
which of course you know,
is the capital of Telangana.
1533
00:52:05,290 --> 00:52:07,658
- (CLINKING)
- Isn't that incredible?
1534
00:52:07,992 --> 00:52:12,929
There are 5.4 million
Indians in the United States.
1535
00:52:12,930 --> 00:52:14,864
That's 1.6% of the population,
1536
00:52:14,865 --> 00:52:17,634
and yet they won 83%
of the spelling bees.
1537
00:52:17,635 --> 00:52:19,203
I mean, what do you even
call that?
1538
00:52:19,204 --> 00:52:20,136
I don't know what you call that.
1539
00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:21,505
Well,
do you know what to call it?
1540
00:52:21,506 --> 00:52:22,672
Brown supremacy?
1541
00:52:22,673 --> 00:52:24,374
- (SPUTTERS, CHUCKLES)
- (FARVA CLEARS THROAT)
1542
00:52:24,375 --> 00:52:26,510
- (LAUGHING) That's exactly...
- Testing. Can you guys hear me?
1543
00:52:26,511 --> 00:52:28,044
This guy kills me.
1544
00:52:28,045 --> 00:52:29,779
- FARVA: Thank you.
- WAITER: You're welcome, sir.
1545
00:52:29,780 --> 00:52:31,915
- (BLOWING)
- (FEEDBACK WHINES)
1546
00:52:31,916 --> 00:52:34,451
Is this on? (CLEARS THROAT)
As you all know,
1547
00:52:34,452 --> 00:52:37,555
I am deathly allergic
to lobster.
1548
00:52:37,888 --> 00:52:38,723
I did not know that.
1549
00:52:38,889 --> 00:52:39,756
- First I've heard of it.
- News to me.
1550
00:52:39,757 --> 00:52:41,558
This forbidden
red fruit of the sea
1551
00:52:41,559 --> 00:52:43,728
has always been
forbodden to me.
1552
00:52:44,595 --> 00:52:47,264
Pretty ironic for
the son of a lobster man.
1553
00:52:47,265 --> 00:52:48,798
- Did you guys know that?
- Did not know that either.
1554
00:52:48,799 --> 00:52:49,699
I didn't. No.
1555
00:52:49,700 --> 00:52:50,634
- No idea.
- No, sir.
1556
00:52:50,635 --> 00:52:52,168
Is he not a test tube baby?
1557
00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:53,870
(BOSTON ACCENT) It's funny,
as I tell this story,
1558
00:52:53,871 --> 00:52:56,139
I can hear
my accent comin' back.
1559
00:52:56,140 --> 00:52:56,974
(CHUCKLES)
1560
00:52:57,107 --> 00:53:00,344
Irregardless,
on this my bacheloriate day,
1561
00:53:00,345 --> 00:53:02,446
and in honor of my new father.
1562
00:53:02,447 --> 00:53:06,216
I am going to beat this bastard
and ride the dragon.
1563
00:53:06,217 --> 00:53:08,485
Rodney, you could go
into anaphylactic shock.
1564
00:53:08,486 --> 00:53:11,121
That is what the EpiPens
are for.
1565
00:53:11,956 --> 00:53:13,056
One for everyone.
1566
00:53:13,057 --> 00:53:13,891
Great.
1567
00:53:14,225 --> 00:53:15,826
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em, guys.
1568
00:53:16,261 --> 00:53:17,494
FARVA: Okay, here we go.
1569
00:53:17,495 --> 00:53:19,596
Now, you are not to use
the EpiPens
1570
00:53:19,597 --> 00:53:21,265
unless you hear my safe word.
1571
00:53:21,266 --> 00:53:22,332
Which is what, best man?
1572
00:53:22,333 --> 00:53:23,333
"Calamari."
1573
00:53:23,334 --> 00:53:25,168
- Give it to me again.
- "Calamari."
1574
00:53:25,169 --> 00:53:26,336
"Calamah."
1575
00:53:26,337 --> 00:53:28,004
(GIGGLES, GRUNTS)
1576
00:53:28,005 --> 00:53:30,640
One, two, three. Ooh.
1577
00:53:30,641 --> 00:53:31,908
(GROWLS, CHUCKLES)
1578
00:53:31,909 --> 00:53:33,009
(GRUMBLING EXCITEDLY)
1579
00:53:33,010 --> 00:53:34,278
You know, in the UK,
they call this
1580
00:53:34,279 --> 00:53:35,679
death by misadventure.
1581
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:37,080
I always thought
that sounded cool.
1582
00:53:37,081 --> 00:53:39,349
(GRUMBLING, GIGGLING)
1583
00:53:39,350 --> 00:53:40,817
By my count,
this is the second time
1584
00:53:40,818 --> 00:53:42,085
you've tried
to kill Farva in a week.
1585
00:53:42,086 --> 00:53:42,920
- Yeah.
- FARVA: This is happening.
1586
00:53:43,053 --> 00:53:43,888
- So, we are talking...
- This is happening.
1587
00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:45,589
...murder, right?
Because I'm happy to have
1588
00:53:45,590 --> 00:53:46,590
- the conversation--
- (FARVA GROANS)
1589
00:53:46,591 --> 00:53:48,458
(STRAINED GROANING)
1590
00:53:48,459 --> 00:53:50,427
- (FARVA GROANS)
- Hold!
1591
00:53:50,428 --> 00:53:52,629
(GROANING)
1592
00:53:52,630 --> 00:53:54,298
- He's not breathing.
- (FARVA GAGGING, SPUTTERING)
1593
00:53:54,299 --> 00:53:55,198
Hold.
1594
00:53:55,199 --> 00:53:57,100
(ROARS)
1595
00:53:57,101 --> 00:53:58,802
My God, he's like Frankenstein.
1596
00:53:58,803 --> 00:54:01,037
(GUTTURAL YELLING)
1597
00:54:01,038 --> 00:54:02,339
- Frankenfarva.
- (FARVA GROANS)
1598
00:54:02,340 --> 00:54:04,041
- (DISTORTED) Lobster!
- (THUNDER CRASHES)
1599
00:54:04,675 --> 00:54:06,611
Lobster!
1600
00:54:07,044 --> 00:54:07,912
(GASPS)
1601
00:54:08,012 --> 00:54:09,446
W-We should try to save him, right?
1602
00:54:09,447 --> 00:54:10,747
Hold!
1603
00:54:10,748 --> 00:54:12,282
(WAILING)
1604
00:54:12,283 --> 00:54:14,083
- Thorny, do something!
- Fine!
1605
00:54:14,084 --> 00:54:15,952
"Calamari. Calamari. Calamari."
1606
00:54:15,953 --> 00:54:17,053
Calamari!
1607
00:54:17,054 --> 00:54:18,988
♪ Tonight's the night
For drinking ♪
1608
00:54:18,989 --> 00:54:20,590
♪ Whiskey, rum and mead ♪
1609
00:54:20,591 --> 00:54:23,627
♪ It won't be ships
We're sinking ♪
1610
00:54:23,628 --> 00:54:25,795
- (GUTTURAL YELLING)
- ♪ We're getting drunk indeed ♪
1611
00:54:25,796 --> 00:54:27,764
♪ We sail away tomorrow ♪
1612
00:54:27,765 --> 00:54:30,534
♪ To some uncharted lands ♪
1613
00:54:30,535 --> 00:54:31,369
- (GRUNTS)
- (YELPS)
1614
00:54:31,502 --> 00:54:33,303
♪ So let's drink
Away our sorrow ♪
1615
00:54:33,304 --> 00:54:34,904
♪ Let's drink
'Til we can't stand ♪
1616
00:54:34,905 --> 00:54:36,005
(SHRIEKS)
1617
00:54:36,006 --> 00:54:37,874
♪ With a yo-ho-ho
And a yo-ho-hey ♪
1618
00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:39,543
♪ For the booty
We will fight ♪
1619
00:54:39,544 --> 00:54:40,744
(STRAINED GROANING)
1620
00:54:40,745 --> 00:54:41,945
♪ With a yo-ho-ho
And a yo-ho-hey ♪
1621
00:54:41,946 --> 00:54:43,212
Fuck you, Farva.
1622
00:54:43,213 --> 00:54:44,681
♪ Our bounty's spent tonight ♪
1623
00:54:44,682 --> 00:54:45,849
Whoa! (GRUNTS)
1624
00:54:45,850 --> 00:54:47,517
♪ To Davy Jones's locker ♪
1625
00:54:47,518 --> 00:54:49,653
- ♪ We might be sailing still ♪
- (GROANING)
1626
00:54:49,654 --> 00:54:52,155
♪ So let's get drunk
Me hearties ♪
1627
00:54:52,156 --> 00:54:53,957
- (SNARLS, GRUNTS)
- ♪ No matter what the swill ♪
1628
00:54:53,958 --> 00:54:55,425
- (GROANS)
- THORNY: Get him!
1629
00:54:55,426 --> 00:54:56,760
♪ With a yo-ho-ho
And a yo-ho-hey ♪
1630
00:54:56,761 --> 00:54:58,328
♪ For the booty we will fight ♪
1631
00:54:58,329 --> 00:54:59,529
- (GROANS)
- Yeah!
1632
00:54:59,530 --> 00:55:01,431
♪ With a yo-ho-ho
And a yo-ho-hey ♪
1633
00:55:01,432 --> 00:55:03,600
- (SCREAMING)
- ♪ Our bounty's spent tonight ♪
1634
00:55:03,601 --> 00:55:06,302
- (BOTH SCREAM, GRUNT)
- ♪ To Davy Jones's locker ♪
1635
00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:08,071
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- ♪ We might be sailing still ♪
1636
00:55:08,072 --> 00:55:10,574
♪ So let's get drunk
Me hearties ♪
1637
00:55:10,575 --> 00:55:11,908
- ♪ No matter what the swill ♪
- Get off of me!
1638
00:55:11,909 --> 00:55:13,242
- (YELLS)
- (EPIPEN HISSES)
1639
00:55:13,243 --> 00:55:14,511
♪ So let's get drunk
Me hearties ♪
1640
00:55:14,512 --> 00:55:16,380
(SLOWED)
♪ No matter what the swill ♪
1641
00:55:16,381 --> 00:55:17,514
(FARVA GROANS)
1642
00:55:17,515 --> 00:55:19,550
(MUKUNDAN GRUNTS, SIGHS)
1643
00:55:20,217 --> 00:55:21,051
(GASPS)
1644
00:55:22,119 --> 00:55:23,621
I saw God.
1645
00:55:24,288 --> 00:55:25,989
He was an albino.
1646
00:55:25,990 --> 00:55:27,457
(DOOR THUDS)
1647
00:55:27,458 --> 00:55:28,859
Calamari!
1648
00:55:30,127 --> 00:55:32,430
(ALL CHEERING)
1649
00:55:33,664 --> 00:55:36,165
Okay, fine, you were right.
He is crazy.
1650
00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:37,467
So, you'll call off the wedding?
1651
00:55:37,468 --> 00:55:39,837
(GROANS FEEBLY)
1652
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,409
- That sounds like progress.
- (PHONE DINGS)
1653
00:55:44,675 --> 00:55:47,110
- And time for the kill shot.
- (FARVA MOANING)
1654
00:55:47,111 --> 00:55:48,044
Okay.
1655
00:55:48,045 --> 00:55:49,213
Are you trying to count?
1656
00:55:49,614 --> 00:55:51,014
- Four, six.
- (SHUSHES)
1657
00:55:51,015 --> 00:55:52,916
- Rodney...
- Ten, fifteen.
1658
00:55:52,917 --> 00:55:54,418
- FARVA: Four, six...
- MUKUNDAN: I'm trying to count.
1659
00:55:54,419 --> 00:55:55,585
Hi, Thorny.
1660
00:55:55,586 --> 00:55:56,521
Hello.
1661
00:55:56,954 --> 00:55:58,655
- Hi, Thorny.
- Hello.
1662
00:55:58,656 --> 00:56:00,691
(FOSTER CHORTLES)
1663
00:56:00,958 --> 00:56:02,592
Now, see that guy over there?
1664
00:56:02,593 --> 00:56:04,628
- What's my blood sound like?
- (WOMEN CHUCKLE)
1665
00:56:04,629 --> 00:56:05,962
MUKUNDAN:
I can't count if you're talking.
1666
00:56:05,963 --> 00:56:06,863
Hi.
1667
00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:08,498
- Oh, hey, guys.
- (GIGGLES)
1668
00:56:08,499 --> 00:56:10,700
(SING-SONGY)
Someone's havin' a three-way.
1669
00:56:10,701 --> 00:56:13,169
You got a real dastardly
villain vibe
1670
00:56:13,170 --> 00:56:14,170
- going right now.
- (CHUCKLES)
1671
00:56:14,171 --> 00:56:15,405
Arcot, stop this.
1672
00:56:15,406 --> 00:56:16,806
They're too beautiful.
He'll be tempted.
1673
00:56:16,807 --> 00:56:18,808
Dad, it's not me.
It was on his list.
1674
00:56:18,809 --> 00:56:19,909
- FARVA: Oh, wait.
- (WOMEN CHUCKLE)
1675
00:56:19,910 --> 00:56:21,411
Are you guys originally
from Vermont?
1676
00:56:21,412 --> 00:56:23,513
Oh! Oh, are we--
Are we leaving?
1677
00:56:23,514 --> 00:56:24,881
- Don't do anything
I wouldn't do!
1678
00:56:24,882 --> 00:56:26,382
FARVA: But they
just brought out
1679
00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:27,451
- the calamari.
- (WOMEN GIGGLE)
1680
00:56:27,452 --> 00:56:29,285
Maybe we should get
a to-go plate.
1681
00:56:29,286 --> 00:56:30,720
Hey, you guys
want a to-go plate?
1682
00:56:30,721 --> 00:56:32,121
What does it matter?
1683
00:56:32,122 --> 00:56:35,391
If this is truly who he is,
he cannot marry my daughter.
1684
00:56:35,392 --> 00:56:36,761
The wedding is off.
1685
00:56:39,029 --> 00:56:41,330
- Winner, winner.
- Chicken dinner.
1686
00:56:41,331 --> 00:56:42,365
MARKOWSKI: Okay!
1687
00:56:42,366 --> 00:56:44,167
- Time for some speeches!
- (FEEDBACK WHINES)
1688
00:56:44,168 --> 00:56:45,869
Cap, Cap, Cap. (CHUCKLES) No.
1689
00:56:45,870 --> 00:56:48,371
Hey, hey, hey. You're lucky
I don't arrest you, Roto.
1690
00:56:48,372 --> 00:56:49,574
(FEEDBACK SQUEAKS)
1691
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:51,676
Now it's time
for some kind words.
1692
00:56:53,010 --> 00:56:55,045
(SLURRING)
I don't know Fa-ra-va that well.
1693
00:56:55,746 --> 00:56:59,215
But I know he must be good,
because he's marrying an Indian.
1694
00:56:59,216 --> 00:57:00,451
Oh, I--
1695
00:57:01,986 --> 00:57:04,420
I really wish
I had married Indian,
1696
00:57:04,421 --> 00:57:06,723
but my stupid wife, Colleen,
1697
00:57:06,724 --> 00:57:09,826
is Scotch-Irish, where
no one fun comes from.
1698
00:57:09,827 --> 00:57:12,361
Scotchland. Boo!
1699
00:57:12,362 --> 00:57:14,297
- (SCREAMS) Bats! (GRUNTS)
- COY: Captain!
1700
00:57:14,298 --> 00:57:15,632
You all right, Cap?
You all right?
1701
00:57:15,633 --> 00:57:16,800
Oh, God.
That looks like it hurt.
1702
00:57:16,801 --> 00:57:17,701
What the fuck?
1703
00:57:17,702 --> 00:57:19,136
- Okay.
- (MARKOWSKI WHIMPERS)
1704
00:57:19,670 --> 00:57:21,404
Time to put a nail
in this coffin.
1705
00:57:21,405 --> 00:57:22,306
Let's do it.
1706
00:57:22,707 --> 00:57:25,041
(WOMEN MOANING, GRUNTING)
1707
00:57:25,042 --> 00:57:26,242
FARVA: (CHUCKLING) Yeah!
1708
00:57:26,243 --> 00:57:27,744
- (WOMAN MOANS)
- (FARVA CHUCKLES)
1709
00:57:27,745 --> 00:57:29,412
FARVA: Oh, I like that a lot.
Now the other one.
1710
00:57:29,413 --> 00:57:30,780
(WOMEN MOANING)
1711
00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:31,781
- FARVA: Yeah!
- You got him.
1712
00:57:31,782 --> 00:57:34,283
One, two, three. Go!
1713
00:57:34,284 --> 00:57:36,620
(CHUCKLING, GASPS)
1714
00:57:36,621 --> 00:57:38,755
WOMAN: Oh, God. It's so deep.
(MOANS)
1715
00:57:38,756 --> 00:57:40,624
Dad! What the hell?
1716
00:57:40,625 --> 00:57:41,526
(BOTH GASP)
1717
00:57:41,792 --> 00:57:44,028
Boopy, I told you.
They were too beautiful!
1718
00:57:44,629 --> 00:57:45,762
Hello, boys.
1719
00:57:45,763 --> 00:57:47,997
Pull up a cuck chair.
(CHUCKLES)
1720
00:57:47,998 --> 00:57:49,098
- (GLASS SHATTERS)
- (YELPS)
1721
00:57:49,099 --> 00:57:51,000
- (BONE SNAPS)
- (SCREAMS)
1722
00:57:51,001 --> 00:57:52,301
BOTH: Oh, shit!
1723
00:57:52,302 --> 00:57:54,571
(SIREN BLARING)
1724
00:57:54,572 --> 00:57:56,706
FOSTER:
As far as mushroom overdose,
1725
00:57:56,707 --> 00:58:00,076
Ask Jeeves says we should
look out for scromiting.
1726
00:58:00,077 --> 00:58:01,912
"Scromiting?"
What the hell is scromiting?
1727
00:58:02,012 --> 00:58:02,847
Hey, guys.
1728
00:58:03,413 --> 00:58:05,414
I'm doing a food order
for the after party at Thorny's.
1729
00:58:05,415 --> 00:58:07,350
Dude, that's not gonna happen.
1730
00:58:07,351 --> 00:58:08,585
COY: Come on. We can save this.
1731
00:58:08,586 --> 00:58:09,919
I'll DoorDash
a couple dozen wings--
1732
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:10,755
- (GAGS)
- FOSTER: It's the end
1733
00:58:10,921 --> 00:58:12,622
of the line, kid.
All right? Read the room.
1734
00:58:12,623 --> 00:58:15,058
- (MARKOWSKI MOANING)
- RABBIT: You all right,
1735
00:58:15,059 --> 00:58:15,860
- Markowski?
- (GROANS)
1736
00:58:16,827 --> 00:58:18,162
He has a compound leg fracture.
1737
00:58:18,763 --> 00:58:20,797
But he was supposed
to walk me down the aisle!
1738
00:58:20,798 --> 00:58:22,799
Mom. Technically this wasn't
Dad's fault.
1739
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:24,300
See, Farva had this list and--
1740
00:58:24,301 --> 00:58:26,804
No.
We must always speak honestly.
1741
00:58:27,738 --> 00:58:32,041
It was I who got intoxicated
and made love to two strippers.
1742
00:58:32,042 --> 00:58:34,744
- Dad!
- The beef meat surged
1743
00:58:34,745 --> 00:58:36,345
through my loins.
1744
00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:40,049
I've heard of whiskey dick
but not beef dick.
1745
00:58:40,050 --> 00:58:42,786
And I take full responsibility
for that.
1746
00:58:42,787 --> 00:58:47,323
But know this: In the face
of enormous temptation,
1747
00:58:47,324 --> 00:58:48,993
Rodney remained faithful.
1748
00:58:51,662 --> 00:58:52,697
Mukun.
1749
00:58:53,530 --> 00:58:56,634
You have made very poor choices.
1750
00:58:56,967 --> 00:58:58,467
However,
1751
00:58:58,468 --> 00:59:01,405
you have spoken honestly,
so I shall forgive you.
1752
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:03,973
But here is the deal, though.
1753
00:59:03,974 --> 00:59:04,975
(GASPS)
1754
00:59:05,375 --> 00:59:07,211
Not now.
1755
00:59:07,778 --> 00:59:10,046
I shall have revenge sex
1756
00:59:10,047 --> 00:59:12,717
at a future date,
and you will accept it.
1757
00:59:13,851 --> 00:59:17,922
That is fair. A sex-ception
for a beef-ception.
1758
00:59:18,422 --> 00:59:19,889
- Hmm.
- (SIGHS)
1759
00:59:19,890 --> 00:59:21,758
I can't believe
you arranged this.
1760
00:59:21,759 --> 00:59:24,327
No. No, no.
Farva really did have a list.
1761
00:59:24,328 --> 00:59:26,596
Oh, yeah?
And was Dad banging strippers
1762
00:59:26,597 --> 00:59:28,431
and eating beef on the list?
1763
00:59:28,432 --> 00:59:29,866
He put the beef in Dad's mouth.
1764
00:59:29,867 --> 00:59:30,801
You told me to.
1765
00:59:30,968 --> 00:59:33,336
And those women said
to thank you for the three-way.
1766
00:59:33,337 --> 00:59:34,303
MEHTA: Arcot.
1767
00:59:34,304 --> 00:59:36,139
Did you arrange
the ménage à trois?
1768
00:59:36,140 --> 00:59:37,207
- Uh...
- (GASPS)
1769
00:59:37,908 --> 00:59:38,909
Shall I go ask them?
1770
00:59:39,343 --> 00:59:41,711
Okay. Okay. So, I know them
from my swingers club, but--
1771
00:59:41,712 --> 00:59:42,879
SARITA: How could you?
1772
00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:45,115
I don't want you
at my wedding tomorrow.
1773
00:59:45,515 --> 00:59:46,582
Seriously?
1774
00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:47,618
Seriously.
1775
00:59:48,753 --> 00:59:50,654
Sarita break it to ya, Thorn,
1776
00:59:50,655 --> 00:59:52,321
but we're giving you
a minus one.
1777
00:59:52,322 --> 00:59:53,790
You're disinviting me?
1778
00:59:53,791 --> 00:59:55,091
We're giving you a minus one.
1779
00:59:55,092 --> 00:59:57,293
- Just say you're disinviting me.
- Minus one!
1780
00:59:57,294 --> 00:59:59,262
You got any more minus ones
lying around?
1781
00:59:59,263 --> 01:00:00,297
I don't know. Who's it for?
1782
01:00:00,798 --> 01:00:03,499
I can't believe you're
choosing Farva over me.
1783
01:00:03,500 --> 01:00:06,002
This idiot still thinks
the moon landing was staged.
1784
01:00:06,003 --> 01:00:07,503
I'm just asking questions.
1785
01:00:07,504 --> 01:00:08,906
It's time to go, Boopy.
1786
01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:13,443
(SIGHS)
1787
01:00:14,578 --> 01:00:15,680
FARVA: Brave move, babe.
1788
01:00:18,949 --> 01:00:20,549
(SCREAMS, RETCHES)
1789
01:00:20,550 --> 01:00:23,320
Scromiting! I get it now.
Scream vomiting.
1790
01:00:24,121 --> 01:00:25,422
- (SCREAMS, RETCHES)
- Whoa!
1791
01:00:30,294 --> 01:00:31,696
TAXI DRIVER:
All right, first stop.
1792
01:00:33,097 --> 01:00:35,699
Hey, Mac. Are you sure we can't
just drop you off at your place?
1793
01:00:35,700 --> 01:00:37,500
Nah, I'm good.
I stopped drinking a while ago.
1794
01:00:37,501 --> 01:00:40,469
Well then, let's get it
going again, huh? Shots?
1795
01:00:40,470 --> 01:00:42,005
(SCREAMS, RETCHES)
1796
01:00:42,006 --> 01:00:42,972
(VOMIT SPLASHES)
1797
01:00:42,973 --> 01:00:45,141
(MARKOWSKI GASPS, WAILS, GROANS)
1798
01:00:45,142 --> 01:00:47,610
No, I-I think we gotta get
Cap'n McShroomy back home.
1799
01:00:47,611 --> 01:00:49,412
Unless you wanna stop off
for fondue?
1800
01:00:49,413 --> 01:00:51,848
- (GRUNTS, WAILS)
- (VOMIT SPLASHES)
1801
01:00:51,849 --> 01:00:53,917
Yeah, night's over, Rook.
Safe travels, guys.
1802
01:00:53,918 --> 01:00:55,651
MARKOWSKI:
No, I'm fine. Fine.
1803
01:00:55,652 --> 01:00:58,888
(SCREAMS)
1804
01:00:58,889 --> 01:00:59,824
(SIGHS)
1805
01:01:11,135 --> 01:01:11,969
(ALARM CHIRPS)
1806
01:01:13,170 --> 01:01:15,672
I can't believe I'm doing this.
(SIGHS)
1807
01:01:18,175 --> 01:01:22,446
All right,
fuckin' Sportif Le Electrique.
1808
01:01:22,847 --> 01:01:23,847
Power on.
1809
01:01:23,848 --> 01:01:27,951
- (FOB CLICKS)
- ("O CANADA" CHIMES)
1810
01:01:27,952 --> 01:01:29,986
(ENGINE WHIRS)
1811
01:01:29,987 --> 01:01:31,487
(MIMICS WHIRRING)
1812
01:01:31,488 --> 01:01:34,223
No, you sound like
a hamster fart.
1813
01:01:34,224 --> 01:01:35,959
Give me a '69 Mustang.
1814
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:38,127
(ENGINE ROARS)
1815
01:01:38,128 --> 01:01:40,596
(CHUCKLING) Okay.
That's what I'm talkin' about.
1816
01:01:40,597 --> 01:01:43,699
Now, let's do
the automatronic driving thing
1817
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,234
to Duck Neck Creek.
1818
01:01:45,235 --> 01:01:47,237
- (ENGINE REVS)
- Oh! (CHUCKLES)
1819
01:01:48,138 --> 01:01:49,974
Yes! Let's jump that creek.
1820
01:01:50,674 --> 01:01:52,675
Whoa.
1821
01:01:52,676 --> 01:01:55,179
Whoa, look at you.
The wheel moves.
1822
01:01:57,581 --> 01:02:00,449
Auto drive. Nice.
What other tricks you got?
1823
01:02:00,450 --> 01:02:01,450
VOICE:
How's it going, eh?
1824
01:02:01,451 --> 01:02:03,452
Welcome to
Le Sportif Electrique
1825
01:02:03,453 --> 01:02:04,821
vehicle voice system.
1826
01:02:04,822 --> 01:02:05,989
(CHUCKLES)
1827
01:02:05,990 --> 01:02:07,656
Look at you. You speak.
1828
01:02:07,657 --> 01:02:09,558
VOICE: Please enter
your command, bud.
1829
01:02:09,559 --> 01:02:11,995
I could do without
the Canadian accent though.
1830
01:02:11,996 --> 01:02:13,362
Do you have any other options?
1831
01:02:13,363 --> 01:02:14,198
- (PING)
- VOICE: (IN FRENCH) Bonjour.
1832
01:02:14,464 --> 01:02:16,665
Bienvenue au le système vocal
du véhicule...
1833
01:02:16,666 --> 01:02:17,834
- (GAGS)
- ...Le Sportif Electrique.
1834
01:02:17,835 --> 01:02:19,269
Fuck that shit. Go back.
1835
01:02:19,436 --> 01:02:21,504
VOICE: Je ne comprends pas.
Veuillez saisir votre compte--
1836
01:02:21,505 --> 01:02:23,472
- English. Canadian. English.
- VOICE: Je ne comprends pas.
1837
01:02:23,473 --> 01:02:24,673
VOICE:
(IN ENGLISH) Gotcha, eh.
1838
01:02:24,674 --> 01:02:26,675
Duck Neck Creek
approaching there, bud.
1839
01:02:26,676 --> 01:02:28,344
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
- (ALARM BLARES)
1840
01:02:28,345 --> 01:02:30,213
VOICE:
Safety protocols engaged.
1841
01:02:30,214 --> 01:02:31,514
- (ALARM BLARES)
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
1842
01:02:31,515 --> 01:02:32,449
MAC: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1843
01:02:32,616 --> 01:02:33,917
Whoa, what's happening?
What the hell are you doing?
1844
01:02:33,918 --> 01:02:35,651
I ordered you
to jump that creek.
1845
01:02:35,652 --> 01:02:36,486
VOICE:
Sorry, bud.
1846
01:02:36,887 --> 01:02:39,222
That order's too dangerous
for the vehicle's occupant.
1847
01:02:39,223 --> 01:02:40,957
Override safety protocol.
Let's go.
1848
01:02:40,958 --> 01:02:42,425
VOICE:
I'm afraid safety protocols
1849
01:02:42,426 --> 01:02:43,459
can't be overridden.
1850
01:02:43,460 --> 01:02:44,828
Bullshit.
1851
01:02:44,829 --> 01:02:46,963
You're the machine,
and I'm the human,
1852
01:02:46,964 --> 01:02:49,498
- and I wanna jump that creek.
- VOICE: Sorry.
1853
01:02:49,499 --> 01:02:52,568
This vehicle is not authorized
to jump Duck Neck Creek.
1854
01:02:52,569 --> 01:02:55,538
Let me tell you something,
you Canadian shit box.
1855
01:02:55,539 --> 01:02:57,473
I need to jump that creek.
1856
01:02:57,474 --> 01:02:58,541
VOICE:
Why's that?
1857
01:02:58,542 --> 01:02:59,575
(STAMMERS)
1858
01:02:59,576 --> 01:03:00,844
Because I need to.
1859
01:03:00,845 --> 01:03:01,744
VOICE:
Why's that?
1860
01:03:01,745 --> 01:03:03,512
(STAMMERS)
1861
01:03:03,513 --> 01:03:05,949
Because I wanna feel
young again, okay?
1862
01:03:05,950 --> 01:03:07,918
There. I said it. Are you happy?
1863
01:03:08,819 --> 01:03:09,686
VOICE:
Why's that?
1864
01:03:10,220 --> 01:03:13,990
Fuck off,
you stupid Canuck fucking car.
1865
01:03:13,991 --> 01:03:14,924
VOICE:
Sorry.
1866
01:03:14,925 --> 01:03:17,493
Fucking piece of shit,
fucking Canadian.
1867
01:03:17,494 --> 01:03:19,162
Green, fuckin' sensible,
1868
01:03:19,163 --> 01:03:21,430
eco-friendly
fucking piece of shit car.
1869
01:03:21,431 --> 01:03:24,834
Fuckin' Le Sportif Electrique,
piece of shit motherfucker.
1870
01:03:24,835 --> 01:03:26,802
Only one fucking thing
I want you to do,
1871
01:03:26,803 --> 01:03:28,737
you fucking piece of shit,
Canadian ass,
1872
01:03:28,738 --> 01:03:30,174
fuckin' silent car.
1873
01:03:31,075 --> 01:03:32,977
(ENGINE WHIRS)
1874
01:03:33,710 --> 01:03:36,612
- Hey. Do not follow me.
- VOICE: Sorry.
1875
01:03:36,613 --> 01:03:39,782
I am tasked with monitoring
the safety of my driver.
1876
01:03:39,783 --> 01:03:43,286
I don't give a shit. You're not
even a real car, you know that?
1877
01:03:43,287 --> 01:03:46,055
You're a toy
that needs to be plugged in.
1878
01:03:46,056 --> 01:03:48,025
And let me tell you
something else.
1879
01:03:48,458 --> 01:03:51,760
You will never ever be as good
1880
01:03:51,761 --> 01:03:54,363
as an American
highway patrol car,
1881
01:03:54,364 --> 01:03:56,632
and I hate you. You hear me?
And I never wanna
1882
01:03:56,633 --> 01:03:58,301
- see you again.
- (FOB BEEPS)
1883
01:03:58,302 --> 01:03:59,669
VOICE:
(SLOWS, DISTORTS) Sorry.
1884
01:04:05,910 --> 01:04:07,043
(SIGHS)
1885
01:04:07,044 --> 01:04:08,577
(MUTTERS SOFTLY)
1886
01:04:08,578 --> 01:04:09,413
(ZIPPER OPENS)
1887
01:04:10,780 --> 01:04:11,615
The hell?
1888
01:04:12,182 --> 01:04:14,118
(LIQUID SQUELCHES)
1889
01:04:14,651 --> 01:04:15,920
What is this?
1890
01:04:16,420 --> 01:04:17,421
(SIGHS)
1891
01:04:22,960 --> 01:04:23,994
Syrup?
1892
01:04:27,431 --> 01:04:28,665
Corn syrup?
1893
01:04:30,434 --> 01:04:32,069
(SQUELCHES)
1894
01:04:41,078 --> 01:04:43,948
(ANIMALS TITTERING)
1895
01:04:44,381 --> 01:04:45,682
(DISTANT TRUMPETING)
1896
01:04:58,996 --> 01:04:59,997
(LOWING)
1897
01:05:00,664 --> 01:05:01,665
(TRUMPETS)
1898
01:05:02,666 --> 01:05:03,633
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETS)
1899
01:05:09,039 --> 01:05:11,307
(SOFT CLATTERING)
1900
01:05:11,308 --> 01:05:13,042
- (CHUCKLES)
- (MEAT TENDERIZER TAPPING)
1901
01:05:13,043 --> 01:05:14,044
STEVE: It's the best.
1902
01:05:14,444 --> 01:05:15,779
(TAPPING CONTINUES)
1903
01:05:17,914 --> 01:05:18,948
Well, well, well.
1904
01:05:18,949 --> 01:05:21,285
MAC:
Those aren't cheese baskets.
1905
01:05:22,052 --> 01:05:23,420
COY: (WHISPERING) Psst! Mac!
1906
01:05:25,822 --> 01:05:27,490
(WHISPERING)
Coy. What are you doing here?
1907
01:05:27,491 --> 01:05:29,858
I heard some chatter on the CB
about some shady shit
1908
01:05:29,859 --> 01:05:31,427
going down
at the Buchanan's old barn.
1909
01:05:31,428 --> 01:05:33,129
Yeah,
they're running a drug lab.
1910
01:05:33,130 --> 01:05:34,130
What?
1911
01:05:34,131 --> 01:05:35,931
Yeah. Okay, here's the plan.
1912
01:05:35,932 --> 01:05:37,800
I'll go left. You go right.
1913
01:05:37,801 --> 01:05:39,135
- Okay.
- Okay.
1914
01:05:39,136 --> 01:05:40,637
- (GRUNTS)
- (GASPS)
1915
01:05:42,672 --> 01:05:44,173
Okay.
1916
01:05:44,174 --> 01:05:45,808
You go left, and I'll go right.
1917
01:05:45,809 --> 01:05:46,743
(GRUNTS)
1918
01:05:50,014 --> 01:05:51,180
Fine.
1919
01:05:51,181 --> 01:05:53,582
We'll both go left and
we'll both go right.
1920
01:05:53,583 --> 01:05:54,784
- (GRUNTS)
- (DINGS)
1921
01:05:57,054 --> 01:05:57,887
(SIGHS)
1922
01:05:59,489 --> 01:06:02,592
Now the night's over, Mac.
1923
01:06:03,760 --> 01:06:05,294
(ROOSTER CROWS)
1924
01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:06,263
(GOAT BLEATS)
1925
01:06:11,001 --> 01:06:12,635
- (GASPS, GRUNTS)
- BETTIE: Good morning!
1926
01:06:12,636 --> 01:06:15,005
(LAUGHS) Wakey wakey.
1927
01:06:16,573 --> 01:06:18,075
- What's up, bitch?
- (SIGHS)
1928
01:06:18,575 --> 01:06:21,377
Ah, from selling weed
to cooking meth.
1929
01:06:21,378 --> 01:06:23,446
You Buchanans are really
moving up in the world.
1930
01:06:23,447 --> 01:06:25,549
(CHUCKLES) It's not meth.
1931
01:06:26,183 --> 01:06:27,451
Our shit's way better.
1932
01:06:28,285 --> 01:06:29,586
Thanks to our secret ingredient.
1933
01:06:31,055 --> 01:06:32,522
Moose Clock corn syrup.
1934
01:06:32,789 --> 01:06:34,290
So, you made it look like
1935
01:06:34,291 --> 01:06:35,824
those trucks
were being vandalized,
1936
01:06:35,825 --> 01:06:38,294
but really you were
just stealing the syrup.
1937
01:06:38,295 --> 01:06:39,695
That's our secret sauce.
1938
01:06:39,696 --> 01:06:42,765
You cook it with molly,
oxycodone, and antifreeze,
1939
01:06:42,766 --> 01:06:44,333
and it'll get you higher
than a giraffe's asshole.
1940
01:06:44,334 --> 01:06:47,002
Yeah,
we call it Canadian Crystal.
1941
01:06:47,003 --> 01:06:49,039
Holy shit.
That's a stupid fucking name.
1942
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:51,674
You got
a better fucking name for it?
1943
01:06:51,675 --> 01:06:54,611
Yeah. How about
Molly Molly Oxy Freeze?
1944
01:06:55,579 --> 01:06:57,846
Shit. That is better.
1945
01:06:57,847 --> 01:06:59,448
- Way fucking better.
- Fuck!
1946
01:06:59,449 --> 01:07:00,284
Why didn't you think of that?
1947
01:07:00,584 --> 01:07:02,551
Plus, you guys don't even
make the drugs in Canada.
1948
01:07:02,552 --> 01:07:04,120
Yeah.
That's the fucking genius of it.
1949
01:07:04,121 --> 01:07:05,554
We cook it here,
we smuggle it there,
1950
01:07:05,555 --> 01:07:06,655
and then the cops
are running around,
1951
01:07:06,656 --> 01:07:08,291
trying to figure out,
"Hey, which of you Canadians
1952
01:07:08,292 --> 01:07:09,193
are selling this shit?"
1953
01:07:09,293 --> 01:07:10,459
So, it's actually
the smart thing,
1954
01:07:10,460 --> 01:07:11,694
and you said
it was the dumb thing.
1955
01:07:11,695 --> 01:07:12,828
So, get fucked.
1956
01:07:12,829 --> 01:07:14,930
And the event planning
is just a cover.
1957
01:07:14,931 --> 01:07:17,134
If we told you that
we'd have to fucking kill you.
1958
01:07:17,501 --> 01:07:18,868
(WHISPERS)
We do have to kill him.
1959
01:07:19,403 --> 01:07:20,970
Actually,
we do have to kill you, Mac.
1960
01:07:21,638 --> 01:07:23,739
We rent wedding supplies
in Canada
1961
01:07:23,740 --> 01:07:25,908
and return them stuffed full
of our real money maker.
1962
01:07:25,909 --> 01:07:26,842
- Hmm.
- STEVE: That's why
1963
01:07:26,843 --> 01:07:28,744
this Indian thing's perfect.
1964
01:07:28,745 --> 01:07:29,845
You wouldn't believe
how much shit
1965
01:07:29,846 --> 01:07:31,515
we could fit
inside of an elephant.
1966
01:07:31,915 --> 01:07:34,883
Drugs. A tiny guy one time.
1967
01:07:34,884 --> 01:07:36,419
- We put drugs inside the guy.
- (SNIFFS)
1968
01:07:36,420 --> 01:07:38,254
Put the guy inside the elephant.
1969
01:07:38,255 --> 01:07:39,456
It was like
a Russian doll situation.
1970
01:07:39,623 --> 01:07:42,057
Mm, still, it's pretty pathetic
you guys have to pose
1971
01:07:42,058 --> 01:07:43,959
as wedding planners
to sell drugs.
1972
01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:44,993
(SCOFFS)
1973
01:07:44,994 --> 01:07:46,162
We're not wedding planners.
1974
01:07:46,163 --> 01:07:47,296
Yeah, we're not
wedding planners,
1975
01:07:47,297 --> 01:07:48,331
- okay?
- (SNIFFS, GROANS)
1976
01:07:48,332 --> 01:07:49,199
We're not
fucking wedding planners.
1977
01:07:49,466 --> 01:07:52,769
Yeah. I'm the wedding planner.
Remember?
1978
01:07:53,237 --> 01:07:55,371
These two are just
my little jackass helpers.
1979
01:07:55,372 --> 01:07:56,805
Well, we're not just
her little helpers.
1980
01:07:56,806 --> 01:07:58,374
We're actually the brains
of the operation.
1981
01:07:58,375 --> 01:07:59,708
No. You can't be the brains
of the operation
1982
01:07:59,709 --> 01:08:00,644
if you don't have a brain.
1983
01:08:00,744 --> 01:08:02,378
- (BETTIE CACKLES)
- Oh, shit, Steve.
1984
01:08:02,379 --> 01:08:03,512
You got served.
1985
01:08:03,513 --> 01:08:04,514
What'd you say?
1986
01:08:05,182 --> 01:08:07,183
- (CHUCKLES, GRUNTS)
- (GROANS)
1987
01:08:07,184 --> 01:08:08,417
- STEVE: Oh!
- BAKER: Ooh.
1988
01:08:08,418 --> 01:08:09,352
COY: Ouch!
1989
01:08:09,353 --> 01:08:11,620
- BAKER: Yeah!
- That looked like it hurt.
1990
01:08:11,621 --> 01:08:12,622
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
1991
01:08:12,756 --> 01:08:15,991
Well, well, well. If it isn't
the fox in our henhouse.
1992
01:08:15,992 --> 01:08:17,926
Hey, Mac.
Can I get you a coffee?
1993
01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:19,295
- (STEVE CHUCKLES)
- With cream. (LAUGHS)
1994
01:08:19,296 --> 01:08:20,796
- (COY AND BUCHANANS LAUGH)
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1995
01:08:20,797 --> 01:08:22,031
How long you been
working with them?
1996
01:08:22,132 --> 01:08:24,300
Ever since I sold weed
for them back in high school.
1997
01:08:24,301 --> 01:08:25,901
Little Coy Boy
may be your rookie,
1998
01:08:25,902 --> 01:08:27,636
but he's always been
our little bitch.
1999
01:08:27,637 --> 01:08:29,372
STEVE: (CHUCKLES) Little bitch.
2000
01:08:29,373 --> 01:08:31,307
Becoming a cop though
did have its upsides.
2001
01:08:31,308 --> 01:08:32,908
Yeah. Until he fucked it up.
2002
01:08:32,909 --> 01:08:33,876
Ow, what did I do?
2003
01:08:33,877 --> 01:08:35,178
STEVE:
You know what you did.
2004
01:08:35,179 --> 01:08:37,346
You knew we were
packing Dumbo last night,
2005
01:08:37,347 --> 01:08:39,248
and your one job
was to keep the cops drunk
2006
01:08:39,249 --> 01:08:40,183
and away from here.
2007
01:08:40,184 --> 01:08:41,584
I tried, okay?
2008
01:08:41,585 --> 01:08:42,818
Next time, you can
hang out with these
2009
01:08:42,819 --> 01:08:44,587
mustache-worshipping losers.
2010
01:08:44,588 --> 01:08:46,722
You probably
can't even grow a mustache.
2011
01:08:46,723 --> 01:08:48,924
I can grow a fucking mustache.
Hit him again.
2012
01:08:48,925 --> 01:08:50,293
With pleasure.
2013
01:08:50,294 --> 01:08:51,260
(GROANS)
2014
01:08:51,261 --> 01:08:52,495
- BAKER AND COY: Oh!
- (WHOOPS)
2015
01:08:52,496 --> 01:08:53,330
- Yeah.
- STEVE: Fuck.
2016
01:08:53,630 --> 01:08:56,833
Now you're definitely
not winning Rookie of the Year.
2017
01:08:57,033 --> 01:08:58,401
How do you tie this thing?
2018
01:08:58,402 --> 01:08:59,635
I don't know.
Where's the rabbit?
2019
01:08:59,636 --> 01:09:00,803
Where's the hole?
2020
01:09:00,804 --> 01:09:02,272
- (MARKOWSKI GROANS)
- (DOOR SLAMS)
2021
01:09:02,639 --> 01:09:03,972
- Hey.
- (MARKOWSKI MOANS)
2022
01:09:03,973 --> 01:09:05,374
- All right, we gonna do this?
- Yeah, let's do it.
2023
01:09:05,375 --> 01:09:07,042
- There he is!
- Hello!
2024
01:09:07,043 --> 01:09:08,877
- Heck of a night, Markowski.
- (MARKOWSKI SIGHS)
2025
01:09:08,878 --> 01:09:11,047
My head feels like a boiled owl.
2026
01:09:11,415 --> 01:09:13,916
Last thing I remember
is beef dancing.
2027
01:09:13,917 --> 01:09:15,418
How about that speech?
2028
01:09:15,419 --> 01:09:16,253
What speech?
2029
01:09:16,553 --> 01:09:18,454
You don't remember giving
that racially edgy speech
2030
01:09:18,455 --> 01:09:19,823
in front of
Thorny's parents last night?
2031
01:09:20,089 --> 01:09:22,258
Stop. Okay?
I know what you're doing.
2032
01:09:22,259 --> 01:09:24,260
I have nothing but love
for that culture.
2033
01:09:24,261 --> 01:09:26,128
Yeah. You demonstrated
that love last night,
2034
01:09:26,129 --> 01:09:27,930
and it was, uh, next level.
2035
01:09:27,931 --> 01:09:28,765
Yeah.
2036
01:09:29,199 --> 01:09:32,401
I mean, I do sort of remember
getting up and saying something.
2037
01:09:32,402 --> 01:09:34,203
Yeah. You had a lot of
interesting puns about
2038
01:09:34,204 --> 01:09:36,672
"currying" favor and
sitting "Indian" style.
2039
01:09:36,673 --> 01:09:37,740
No, I didn't.
2040
01:09:37,741 --> 01:09:39,408
You don't remember
telling Thorny's mom
2041
01:09:39,409 --> 01:09:42,145
you admired
her spicy Mumbai dumper...
2042
01:09:42,912 --> 01:09:44,848
and that that proved
you weren't racist?
2043
01:09:46,015 --> 01:09:46,850
I did?
2044
01:09:47,050 --> 01:09:49,018
(SIGHS)
We've been talking and, uh...
2045
01:09:49,753 --> 01:09:51,420
I think it's time
we gave you a present.
2046
01:09:51,421 --> 01:09:52,256
Yeah.
2047
01:09:53,122 --> 01:09:54,723
No, no, no, no, no.
You don't give books.
2048
01:09:54,724 --> 01:09:56,092
I give the books.
2049
01:09:57,794 --> 01:09:59,028
MARKOWSKI:
Am I Racist?
2050
01:09:59,696 --> 01:10:01,364
We thought we could
discuss after you read it.
2051
01:10:01,365 --> 01:10:02,198
- (DOOR OPENS)
- (GASPS)
2052
01:10:03,933 --> 01:10:05,534
- (DOOR CLOSES)
- Don't tell him I'm here.
2053
01:10:05,535 --> 01:10:06,502
Don't tell him I'm here.
2054
01:10:06,503 --> 01:10:08,872
Thorn! How do I tie this sash?
2055
01:10:09,573 --> 01:10:10,707
Not my problem.
2056
01:10:10,907 --> 01:10:11,741
Where's Mac?
2057
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:13,543
Not my problem.
2058
01:10:21,217 --> 01:10:23,820
- (ENGINE STARTS, REVS)
- (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS)
2059
01:10:24,721 --> 01:10:26,323
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETS)
2060
01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:28,223
(GRUNTS)
2061
01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:29,157
(BUBBLING)
2062
01:10:29,158 --> 01:10:30,460
- (VALVE SQUEAKS)
- (CHUCKLES)
2063
01:10:33,997 --> 01:10:35,931
(BUBBLING CONTINUES)
2064
01:10:35,932 --> 01:10:38,133
I hope you like the cold, Mac.
2065
01:10:38,134 --> 01:10:40,035
Because we're about
to freeze you solid
2066
01:10:40,036 --> 01:10:41,304
in Canadian Crystal.
2067
01:10:41,305 --> 01:10:42,405
Oh, no. Shit. You missed that.
2068
01:10:42,406 --> 01:10:44,239
We call it
Molly Molly Oxy Freeze now.
2069
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:46,009
- Oh, I like that. That's good.
- It's good, I know.
2070
01:10:46,710 --> 01:10:47,676
I came up with that.
2071
01:10:47,677 --> 01:10:49,345
Oh, then actually it sucks.
2072
01:10:49,346 --> 01:10:50,746
Oh, you know it doesn't suck.
2073
01:10:50,747 --> 01:10:51,780
It doesn't really suck.
2074
01:10:51,781 --> 01:10:52,715
- Hey.
- (SNIFFS)
2075
01:10:52,716 --> 01:10:54,249
COY: B-t-dubz, Mac.
2076
01:10:54,250 --> 01:10:57,252
A lot of people's heads explode
during the freezing process.
2077
01:10:57,253 --> 01:10:58,087
(MIMICS EXPLOSION)
2078
01:10:58,288 --> 01:11:00,424
There's some great videos
on TikTok.
2079
01:11:00,957 --> 01:11:03,259
Well, I got a little wedding
to attend.
2080
01:11:04,361 --> 01:11:06,329
And we'll be back to take
a frozen selfie with you
2081
01:11:06,330 --> 01:11:07,431
- in a little while.
- (CHUCKLES)
2082
01:11:07,531 --> 01:11:10,032
Don't you guys have to go
do some wedding planner stuff?
2083
01:11:10,033 --> 01:11:11,500
How many times
do I have to fucking tell you?
2084
01:11:11,501 --> 01:11:12,569
We're not wedding planners!
2085
01:11:13,069 --> 01:11:14,037
Ow!
2086
01:11:14,137 --> 01:11:15,137
- Why would I do that?
- Come on, Steve.
2087
01:11:15,138 --> 01:11:16,072
Why would I do that?
2088
01:11:21,010 --> 01:11:22,045
(MAC GRUNTS)
2089
01:11:22,779 --> 01:11:25,080
(STRAINS)
2090
01:11:25,081 --> 01:11:26,015
(GRUNTS)
2091
01:11:26,383 --> 01:11:27,283
(GRUNTS)
2092
01:11:28,418 --> 01:11:30,654
WEDDING GUEST:
Wow, look at this.
2093
01:11:39,195 --> 01:11:40,629
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
2094
01:11:40,630 --> 01:11:42,097
You look good, Markowski.
2095
01:11:42,098 --> 01:11:44,568
I hope so.
I'm feeling pretty nervous.
2096
01:11:45,234 --> 01:11:47,536
- Namaste, fellas.
- Oh. Namaste.
2097
01:11:47,537 --> 01:11:49,204
You'll have to check
your firearms.
2098
01:11:49,205 --> 01:11:50,539
No guns at a Hindu wedding.
2099
01:11:50,540 --> 01:11:51,608
Sorry about that.
2100
01:11:52,175 --> 01:11:54,378
Next you'll say
there's no alcohol. (CHUCKLES)
2101
01:11:54,878 --> 01:11:55,712
Well...
2102
01:11:56,079 --> 01:11:57,780
- Oh, boy.
- Oh.
2103
01:11:57,781 --> 01:11:59,782
Uh, let's go.
2104
01:11:59,783 --> 01:12:00,716
Have fun.
2105
01:12:00,717 --> 01:12:02,250
(SITAR MUSIC PLAYING)
2106
01:12:02,251 --> 01:12:04,052
(GUESTS MURMURING)
2107
01:12:04,053 --> 01:12:05,889
(SITAR CONTINUES)
2108
01:12:07,624 --> 01:12:08,458
Oh, wow.
2109
01:12:09,993 --> 01:12:12,628
Okay.
I've got some apologizing to do.
2110
01:12:12,629 --> 01:12:14,329
- H-Hold on, Cap--
- No, no, no, no.
2111
01:12:14,330 --> 01:12:16,332
A man must make amends.
2112
01:12:17,300 --> 01:12:19,503
Part of the Hindu tradition.
(INHALES)
2113
01:12:21,405 --> 01:12:22,238
(SIGHS NERVOUSLY)
2114
01:12:24,808 --> 01:12:25,841
MARKOWSKI: Namaste.
2115
01:12:25,842 --> 01:12:27,276
Rough night last night.
2116
01:12:27,677 --> 01:12:29,745
Yeah, uh, that's actually why--
2117
01:12:29,746 --> 01:12:31,179
- Samosa?
- Oh.
2118
01:12:31,180 --> 01:12:32,681
Um...
2119
01:12:32,682 --> 01:12:34,884
Yeah. Thank you.
(NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
2120
01:12:36,386 --> 01:12:37,220
Mm.
2121
01:12:38,154 --> 01:12:40,457
I'm glad you're both here. Um...
2122
01:12:40,890 --> 01:12:45,428
I'd like to share
how much love and respect
2123
01:12:45,429 --> 01:12:47,330
that I have for your culture.
2124
01:12:47,764 --> 01:12:52,735
And, well, when alcohol
is coupled with debauchery,
2125
01:12:52,736 --> 01:12:57,874
sometimes the speeches,
they can get a little randy.
2126
01:12:58,141 --> 01:12:59,508
And, uh...
2127
01:12:59,509 --> 01:13:02,110
You can't really
fairly judge a man
2128
01:13:02,111 --> 01:13:04,413
when he's in-- (SNIFFLES)
in that state of--
2129
01:13:04,414 --> 01:13:08,517
What the hell is in this samosa?
My mouth is on fire.
2130
01:13:08,518 --> 01:13:11,386
Oh, yours must have contained
a New Delhi nose pepper.
2131
01:13:11,387 --> 01:13:13,121
Yeah,
that's considered quite lucky.
2132
01:13:13,122 --> 01:13:15,257
In what fucking culture--
(SNIFFLES)
2133
01:13:15,258 --> 01:13:16,692
would that be considered lucky?
2134
01:13:16,693 --> 01:13:18,193
"Fucking culture?"
2135
01:13:18,194 --> 01:13:20,464
No, I didn't-- It's not--
That's not-- I've...
2136
01:13:20,997 --> 01:13:23,131
It's just because...
you people gave me this.
2137
01:13:23,132 --> 01:13:24,533
I beg your pardon?
2138
01:13:24,534 --> 01:13:26,670
My mouth
is literally fucking on fire!
2139
01:13:27,537 --> 01:13:30,306
It's like a dragon
is inside my gums! (SNIFFLES)
2140
01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:32,541
I'm not racist!
2141
01:13:32,542 --> 01:13:34,077
(SOBS)
2142
01:13:38,915 --> 01:13:39,783
(SIGHS)
2143
01:13:44,888 --> 01:13:46,890
Let's see what you got, Farva.
2144
01:13:53,697 --> 01:13:54,798
The hell?
2145
01:13:55,932 --> 01:13:59,202
This is your investigation?
Fucking Farva.
2146
01:14:14,884 --> 01:14:16,753
- Cam.
- (CHAIR CREAKS)
2147
01:14:17,654 --> 01:14:18,622
(SIGHS)
2148
01:14:19,923 --> 01:14:20,924
(SLURPS)
2149
01:14:21,457 --> 01:14:23,058
No.
2150
01:14:23,059 --> 01:14:24,426
Okay.
2151
01:14:24,427 --> 01:14:25,929
There's Sarita's car.
2152
01:14:27,664 --> 01:14:29,499
I need another view here.
2153
01:14:31,434 --> 01:14:33,803
Think, Mac. Think, Mac.
2154
01:14:34,538 --> 01:14:37,907
Okay. Okay, this is bad.
2155
01:14:38,875 --> 01:14:39,875
Oh.
2156
01:14:39,876 --> 01:14:41,544
Mm! Yummy.
2157
01:14:41,545 --> 01:14:42,546
Minty.
2158
01:14:42,712 --> 01:14:43,580
RABBIT: Oh, perfect.
2159
01:14:43,947 --> 01:14:46,181
Oh, no, no, no.
Guys, that's the bride's side.
2160
01:14:46,182 --> 01:14:47,617
Groom's is over there.
2161
01:14:48,117 --> 01:14:49,384
Plenty of room to stretch out.
2162
01:14:49,385 --> 01:14:51,420
(COY, URSULA
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
2163
01:14:52,989 --> 01:14:54,557
Are Coy and Ursula on a date?
2164
01:14:54,558 --> 01:14:56,291
Why? Just 'cause they're sitting
next to each other?
2165
01:14:56,292 --> 01:14:58,327
I'm gonna sit next to you.
Does that mean we're dating?
2166
01:14:58,695 --> 01:15:00,463
Have you guys met my date, everyone?
2167
01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:03,498
THORNY:
There has to be more.
2168
01:15:03,499 --> 01:15:06,134
God damn,
I need more traffic cams.
2169
01:15:06,135 --> 01:15:07,870
O'HAGAN: Try Farva's body cam!
- Oh!
2170
01:15:07,871 --> 01:15:09,905
Cap, you're here again?
2171
01:15:09,906 --> 01:15:11,874
You told me to get a hobby.
I started a home garden.
2172
01:15:11,875 --> 01:15:13,041
And you're taking our shovel?
2173
01:15:13,042 --> 01:15:15,178
Mm! Government steel.
Nothing better.
2174
01:15:17,413 --> 01:15:18,347
(SIGHS)
2175
01:15:19,949 --> 01:15:22,551
Okay. Okay.
2176
01:15:22,552 --> 01:15:23,653
I'm bored!
2177
01:15:24,654 --> 01:15:26,055
I hate retirement!
2178
01:15:26,790 --> 01:15:28,824
I wanted to see what was
going on over here,
2179
01:15:28,825 --> 01:15:31,594
but everyone had gone
to that damn wedding. Happy now?
2180
01:15:31,595 --> 01:15:33,295
Cap, we love having you around.
2181
01:15:33,296 --> 01:15:35,298
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, type it in.
2182
01:15:36,032 --> 01:15:37,466
Farva's body cam.
2183
01:15:38,001 --> 01:15:38,868
(THORNY SIGHS)
2184
01:15:39,969 --> 01:15:41,303
It's actually a good idea.
2185
01:15:41,304 --> 01:15:43,239
Yeah. It's called
basic police work.
2186
01:15:49,679 --> 01:15:50,946
Play.
2187
01:15:50,947 --> 01:15:52,848
FARVA: (ON BODY CAM)
Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah
2188
01:15:52,849 --> 01:15:55,250
We call this a wet dog.
(LAUGHS)
2189
01:15:55,251 --> 01:15:57,020
Dr. Pepper makes it spicy.
2190
01:15:57,286 --> 01:15:58,454
Fucking idiot.
2191
01:15:58,622 --> 01:16:00,055
FARVA: Oh, now I got
a slowpoke in front of me.
2192
01:16:00,056 --> 01:16:01,924
(MOUTH FULL)
Come on, you slowpoke.
2193
01:16:01,925 --> 01:16:03,992
Get the molasses
out of your asses.
2194
01:16:03,993 --> 01:16:05,795
It's probably a chick
from Massachusetts.
2195
01:16:06,763 --> 01:16:08,864
- Hey! Hey, Masshole!
- (HORN HONKING)
2196
01:16:08,865 --> 01:16:10,933
Oh! My fucking hot dog!
2197
01:16:10,934 --> 01:16:11,834
Shit!
2198
01:16:11,835 --> 01:16:13,235
- (YELLS) Fucking shit!
- (ENGINE REVS)
2199
01:16:13,236 --> 01:16:14,337
(CAR HORN BLARES, TIRES SQUEAL)
2200
01:16:15,238 --> 01:16:17,707
Son of a bitch. It was him.
2201
01:16:18,808 --> 01:16:19,743
(GRUNTS)
2202
01:16:20,176 --> 01:16:22,210
This is when
I wouldn't mind being...
2203
01:16:22,211 --> 01:16:23,579
a little bit taller.
2204
01:16:27,350 --> 01:16:28,417
(INHALES DEEPLY)
2205
01:16:29,686 --> 01:16:30,687
EMCEE: Ladies and gentlemen,
2206
01:16:31,087 --> 01:16:34,289
please join us outside
for a very special arrival.
2207
01:16:34,290 --> 01:16:36,391
- (LAUGHS)
- (CHEERS, APPLAUSE)
2208
01:16:36,392 --> 01:16:37,761
Here comes the groom.
2209
01:16:38,027 --> 01:16:39,427
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETS)
2210
01:16:39,428 --> 01:16:41,830
(CHEERS, APPLAUSE CONTINUE)
2211
01:16:41,831 --> 01:16:43,766
Farva in the house!
2212
01:16:43,767 --> 01:16:45,868
- Look at me! I'm on an elephant!
- (LAUGHS)
2213
01:16:45,869 --> 01:16:47,403
- (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS)
- FARVA: Yeah, big boy.
2214
01:16:47,904 --> 01:16:50,538
- That's one magnificent beast.
- The one with the long trunk
2215
01:16:50,539 --> 01:16:52,007
or the one
marrying Thorny's sister?
2216
01:16:52,008 --> 01:16:52,975
(BOTH LAUGH)
2217
01:16:52,976 --> 01:16:55,110
- (MUFFLED GRUNTING)
- (THUDDING ON GLASS)
2218
01:16:55,111 --> 01:16:55,945
(ELECTRONIC CHIME)
2219
01:16:57,513 --> 01:16:59,581
(TANK CREAKS)
2220
01:16:59,582 --> 01:17:00,950
(CRACKLING)
2221
01:17:01,985 --> 01:17:03,052
(STIFLED YELL)
2222
01:17:09,793 --> 01:17:12,261
(ENGINE RUMBLES)
2223
01:17:18,501 --> 01:17:20,202
VOICE:
Officer Womack acquired.
2224
01:17:20,203 --> 01:17:22,337
- Now locating back up, eh.
- (ENGINE REVS)
2225
01:17:22,338 --> 01:17:23,806
BAKER:
Whoa, whoa, what the fuck?
2226
01:17:23,807 --> 01:17:25,274
(BOTH PANTING)
2227
01:17:25,809 --> 01:17:27,375
- (STEVE GASPS)
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
2228
01:17:27,376 --> 01:17:28,510
We gotta stop that thing!
2229
01:17:28,511 --> 01:17:29,912
Oh, fuck! Come on!
2230
01:17:29,913 --> 01:17:31,613
VOICE:
I was monitoring your vitals
2231
01:17:31,614 --> 01:17:33,581
through the key fob.
I detected a drop
2232
01:17:33,582 --> 01:17:36,252
in body temperature
and tracked your location, bud.
2233
01:17:36,986 --> 01:17:38,721
Cap,
we gotta get to that wedding.
2234
01:17:38,722 --> 01:17:39,788
You gotta get to that wedding.
2235
01:17:39,789 --> 01:17:41,423
I'd rather
eat lumpy kitty litter.
2236
01:17:41,424 --> 01:17:45,361
Now, I'm off to see
my girl in Brattleboro.
2237
01:17:46,629 --> 01:17:47,831
Sure you are.
2238
01:17:50,166 --> 01:17:52,135
(TIRES SQUEAL)
2239
01:17:52,802 --> 01:17:54,137
(ENGINE ROARS)
2240
01:17:54,537 --> 01:17:55,404
Goddamn it!
2241
01:17:56,973 --> 01:17:59,174
- There he is! Go, go, go!
- Yes!
2242
01:17:59,175 --> 01:18:00,609
Can't get away
from us, little piggy!
2243
01:18:02,445 --> 01:18:04,179
VOICE:
Safety protocol override.
2244
01:18:04,180 --> 01:18:06,349
Engaging evade mode, eh.
2245
01:18:08,217 --> 01:18:09,418
He's going to Duck Neck Creek.
2246
01:18:10,754 --> 01:18:12,621
VOICE:
Calculating ideal trajectory.
2247
01:18:13,823 --> 01:18:16,591
Maximizing speed for
increased distance and height.
2248
01:18:16,592 --> 01:18:18,526
- (TRACTOR RUMBLES)
- Oh, shit!
2249
01:18:18,527 --> 01:18:20,695
- TRACTOR DRIVER: Hey, watch it!
- (SCREAMS)
2250
01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:22,297
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
- (BOTH SCREAM)
2251
01:18:22,298 --> 01:18:24,300
- (STEVE GASPS)
- Fuck!
2252
01:18:25,869 --> 01:18:26,835
VOICE: Send her, bud!
2253
01:18:26,836 --> 01:18:28,872
- (ALERT CHIMES)
- (ENGINE REVS)
2254
01:18:29,305 --> 01:18:32,007
- (OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
- ♪ Duck Neck Creek ♪
2255
01:18:32,008 --> 01:18:34,509
MAC: (ECHOING) Whee!
2256
01:18:34,510 --> 01:18:37,179
♪ Duck Neck Creek ♪
2257
01:18:37,180 --> 01:18:39,015
(ENGINE WHIRS)
2258
01:18:39,515 --> 01:18:41,850
VOICE: Enjoy your
vehicle from Tkachuk Motors,
2259
01:18:41,851 --> 01:18:43,987
where a good ride
is our pleasure, eh.
2260
01:18:44,253 --> 01:18:45,320
He's heading towards
the wedding.
2261
01:18:45,321 --> 01:18:46,789
- Let's fucking go!
- (ENGINE REVS)
2262
01:18:46,790 --> 01:18:48,792
(ENGINE ROARS)
2263
01:18:50,860 --> 01:18:53,095
(CHEERS, RHYTHMIC CLAPPING)
2264
01:18:53,096 --> 01:18:55,098
(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
2265
01:18:59,468 --> 01:19:02,737
(CHEERS, WHISTLING)
2266
01:19:02,738 --> 01:19:04,239
- (LAUGHS, SQUEALS)
- Mm-hmm!
2267
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:06,709
- (LAUGHS) Yeah!
- (LAUGHING) Oh, my God!
2268
01:19:07,243 --> 01:19:09,512
(RHYTHMIC WHISTLING)
2269
01:19:10,847 --> 01:19:11,780
SARITA: I love you.
2270
01:19:11,781 --> 01:19:13,949
(RHYTHMIC CLAPPING)
2271
01:19:13,950 --> 01:19:17,753
(CHEERS, APPLAUSE)
2272
01:19:18,254 --> 01:19:20,689
- Yeah, come on! Come on!
- MEHTA: All right!
2273
01:19:21,257 --> 01:19:23,926
All the Indians in the house
say "Yeah!"
2274
01:19:23,927 --> 01:19:24,960
GUESTS: Yeah!
2275
01:19:24,961 --> 01:19:25,929
My people.
2276
01:19:26,029 --> 01:19:27,762
- (LAUGHTER)
- FARVA: I'm talking about
2277
01:19:27,763 --> 01:19:28,597
- the Indians.
- What the fuck is this?
2278
01:19:28,898 --> 01:19:32,734
Glorious. Now, in keeping
with our Hindu tradition,
2279
01:19:32,735 --> 01:19:36,038
if there is anyone here
who objects to this union...
2280
01:19:36,039 --> 01:19:37,140
THORNY: I object.
2281
01:19:37,406 --> 01:19:38,474
(GUESTS MURMUR)
2282
01:19:39,675 --> 01:19:40,742
(GUESTS GASP)
2283
01:19:40,743 --> 01:19:42,744
Stop this wedding now!
2284
01:19:42,745 --> 01:19:45,013
And this is why
Hindus don't have
2285
01:19:45,014 --> 01:19:46,514
guns at weddings!
2286
01:19:46,515 --> 01:19:49,784
Thorny,
you are not welcome here.
2287
01:19:49,785 --> 01:19:52,555
Oh, I think you're gonna
wanna hear this, Thorny.
2288
01:19:53,222 --> 01:19:55,991
See, there was something
about the origin
2289
01:19:55,992 --> 01:19:57,926
of Farva
and Sarita's relationship
2290
01:19:57,927 --> 01:19:59,161
that none of us knew.
2291
01:19:59,162 --> 01:20:01,330
That none of us could know.
2292
01:20:02,331 --> 01:20:04,199
Something so shocking
2293
01:20:04,200 --> 01:20:07,669
it would end this farce,
once and for all.
2294
01:20:07,670 --> 01:20:08,871
- Sarita!
- (SARITA GASPS)
2295
01:20:08,872 --> 01:20:10,672
I can't take it anymore.
2296
01:20:10,673 --> 01:20:12,174
Our love is based on a lie.
2297
01:20:12,175 --> 01:20:13,741
(GUESTS GASP)
2298
01:20:13,742 --> 01:20:14,610
What?
2299
01:20:15,544 --> 01:20:19,114
Last night, when your old man
got busted for eating beef
2300
01:20:19,115 --> 01:20:21,383
and having that ménage
with the two hot strippers.
2301
01:20:21,384 --> 01:20:22,717
(GUESTS GASP)
2302
01:20:22,718 --> 01:20:24,452
- FARVA: I know.
- (GUESTS MURMURING)
2303
01:20:24,453 --> 01:20:25,488
Let me finish.
2304
01:20:26,122 --> 01:20:27,023
He said,
2305
01:20:27,256 --> 01:20:29,592
"Nothing is more important
than honesty."
2306
01:20:29,959 --> 01:20:31,494
And he told your mother
the truth.
2307
01:20:32,028 --> 01:20:33,829
So,
I'm gonna tell you the truth.
2308
01:20:36,265 --> 01:20:37,966
I ran you off the road
that night.
2309
01:20:37,967 --> 01:20:38,968
(GUESTS GASP)
2310
01:20:39,168 --> 01:20:40,036
What?
2311
01:20:40,303 --> 01:20:41,370
It was me.
2312
01:20:41,704 --> 01:20:44,506
No, Farva, you're not getting
away with it. Not this time!
2313
01:20:44,507 --> 01:20:47,575
Arcot, let him speak his piece.
2314
01:20:47,576 --> 01:20:49,844
Mom, no. It's total bullshit.
2315
01:20:49,845 --> 01:20:51,013
Let the boy speak.
2316
01:20:51,014 --> 01:20:52,780
- GUEST: Yeah!
- GUESTS: Let Rod speak!
2317
01:20:52,781 --> 01:20:55,517
Let Rod speak! Let Rod speak!
2318
01:20:55,518 --> 01:20:56,718
- Thank you, crowd members.
- (GUESTS CONTINUE CHANTING)
2319
01:20:56,719 --> 01:20:57,785
- Let Rod speak!
- Okay, that's enough.
2320
01:20:57,786 --> 01:20:58,955
- Let Rod speak!
- (CHANTING PETERS OUT)
2321
01:20:59,488 --> 01:21:02,057
Sarita, if you weren't driving
so slow that night,
2322
01:21:02,058 --> 01:21:03,825
none of this
would have ever happened.
2323
01:21:03,826 --> 01:21:06,162
But I mean,
Indian drivers, am I right?
2324
01:21:06,629 --> 01:21:07,795
(GUESTS MURMUR)
2325
01:21:07,796 --> 01:21:09,364
You guys know
what I'm talking about.
2326
01:21:09,365 --> 01:21:10,999
(CHUCKLING) All you know
what I'm talking about.
2327
01:21:11,000 --> 01:21:12,800
(INDISTINCT MURMURING)
2328
01:21:12,801 --> 01:21:15,070
But then, I saved you.
2329
01:21:15,071 --> 01:21:17,873
And you were so in love with me,
and you're so hot...
2330
01:21:18,975 --> 01:21:20,243
...how could I not marry you?
2331
01:21:21,710 --> 01:21:24,246
So, can you ever forgive me?
2332
01:21:24,247 --> 01:21:27,515
(DISTANT SIREN WHOOPING)
2333
01:21:27,516 --> 01:21:28,883
- VOICE: Warning.
- (SIREN WHOOPS)
2334
01:21:28,884 --> 01:21:30,418
VOICE: Warning.
2335
01:21:30,419 --> 01:21:32,587
- Warning. Warning.
- (SIREN WHOOPING)
2336
01:21:32,588 --> 01:21:33,655
- (GUESTS SCREAM)
- VOICE: Warning.
2337
01:21:33,656 --> 01:21:35,123
- VOICE: Warning.
- (YELPS)
2338
01:21:35,124 --> 01:21:36,658
VOICE:
Warning. Warning.
2339
01:21:36,659 --> 01:21:37,693
- (SIREN WHOOPS)
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
2340
01:21:40,964 --> 01:21:42,297
(GUEST SCREAMS)
2341
01:21:42,298 --> 01:21:45,200
Holy shit! It's Mac!
Come on, let's get him up.
2342
01:21:45,201 --> 01:21:47,670
(ALL GRUNTING)
2343
01:21:49,572 --> 01:21:51,174
FOSTER:
Okay. Okay. Easy. Easy.
2344
01:21:51,907 --> 01:21:52,741
(GASPS)
2345
01:21:54,043 --> 01:21:58,047
Some kind of syrup.
Not maple. Probably corn.
2346
01:21:58,447 --> 01:21:59,881
Coy, get some hot tea.
2347
01:21:59,882 --> 01:22:01,349
We're gonna try
to defrost this guy.
2348
01:22:01,350 --> 01:22:03,118
A-Are we sure
he's even still alive?
2349
01:22:03,119 --> 01:22:04,086
It might be too late.
2350
01:22:04,087 --> 01:22:05,320
I'll get the tea!
2351
01:22:05,321 --> 01:22:06,754
STEVE: Holy shit!
2352
01:22:06,755 --> 01:22:08,656
Whoa, we were just driving
and we saw Officer Womack
2353
01:22:08,657 --> 01:22:09,958
attached to that crazy car.
Is he okay?
2354
01:22:09,959 --> 01:22:11,459
STEVE:
As the owners of this premises,
2355
01:22:11,460 --> 01:22:13,429
we need to get this man
to a hospital, STAT!
2356
01:22:13,796 --> 01:22:15,763
- Baker, bungee cords. Let's go.
- Got it.
2357
01:22:15,764 --> 01:22:17,265
Yeah, and I'll give you
a police escort.
2358
01:22:17,266 --> 01:22:18,366
- Great idea, Coy.
- RABBIT: Come on, Mac.
2359
01:22:18,367 --> 01:22:19,668
- (MUFFLED MUMBLING)
- RABBIT: Come on.
2360
01:22:20,169 --> 01:22:22,004
- (MUMBLING)
- RABBIT: He's alive!
2361
01:22:22,005 --> 01:22:23,171
And he's trying
to say something!
2362
01:22:23,172 --> 01:22:25,608
(COUGHS FEEBLY)
2363
01:22:25,975 --> 01:22:28,777
(WEAKLY) I jumped
Duck Neck Creek.
2364
01:22:29,945 --> 01:22:31,746
Okay, but is there more?
2365
01:22:31,747 --> 01:22:34,850
It meant a lot to me.
2366
01:22:35,118 --> 01:22:37,285
Great, but anything about this?
2367
01:22:37,286 --> 01:22:40,256
Uh, the Buchanans froze me.
2368
01:22:40,656 --> 01:22:42,491
EV saved me.
2369
01:22:42,825 --> 01:22:45,027
Delirium is a common sign
of syrup poisoning.
2370
01:22:45,028 --> 01:22:46,194
- I Googled it.
- That's true,
2371
01:22:46,195 --> 01:22:47,629
I just watched
a whole segment about it
2372
01:22:47,630 --> 01:22:48,763
on Sanjay Gupta.
2373
01:22:48,764 --> 01:22:51,200
(STRAINING) Canadian Crystal...
2374
01:22:51,634 --> 01:22:54,237
Smuggled... Elephant...
2375
01:22:55,004 --> 01:22:57,239
Buchanan drugs...
2376
01:22:57,240 --> 01:22:58,741
in elephant.
2377
01:22:59,008 --> 01:23:00,542
Are you saying
that the Buchanans
2378
01:23:00,543 --> 01:23:02,010
stuffed that Canadian elephant
2379
01:23:02,011 --> 01:23:04,412
full of drugs and are gonna
send it back over the border?
2380
01:23:04,413 --> 01:23:05,547
Is that what you're saying?
2381
01:23:05,548 --> 01:23:08,051
Yeah, you got that, huh?
Good for you.
2382
01:23:08,617 --> 01:23:12,121
(SCOFFS) Okay,
he's clearly joking, right?
2383
01:23:13,489 --> 01:23:14,357
You tell me.
2384
01:23:14,890 --> 01:23:15,958
Enough! What are we gonna do?
2385
01:23:16,059 --> 01:23:18,193
Stop a beautiful wedding
because a little boy
2386
01:23:18,194 --> 01:23:20,429
in a big brick of goo
showed up out of nowhere?
2387
01:23:20,929 --> 01:23:23,465
Rabbit, check
that elephant's ass for drugs.
2388
01:23:23,466 --> 01:23:25,500
Uh, I would, but I, uh,
2389
01:23:25,501 --> 01:23:28,503
I pulled my arm muscle
candlepin bowling.
2390
01:23:28,504 --> 01:23:30,572
Fine. I'll do it.
2391
01:23:30,573 --> 01:23:32,075
This is fucking ridiculous.
2392
01:23:33,309 --> 01:23:35,411
Arcot, stop trying
to ruin this wedding!
2393
01:23:36,345 --> 01:23:38,114
(HUFFS, TRUMPETS)
2394
01:23:40,849 --> 01:23:42,251
(TRUMPETS)
2395
01:23:46,989 --> 01:23:47,956
(EXHALES)
2396
01:23:49,425 --> 01:23:51,493
- GUEST 1: Don't do it!
- GUEST 2: You wouldn't dare!
2397
01:23:51,494 --> 01:23:52,594
GUEST 3:
Don't you touch that animal!
2398
01:23:52,595 --> 01:23:54,996
- GUEST 4: Please, don't do it.
- (GUESTS GROAN)
2399
01:23:54,997 --> 01:23:56,764
- (TRUMPETS)
- Oh.
2400
01:23:56,765 --> 01:23:57,799
RABBIT: Thorny, no.
2401
01:23:57,800 --> 01:23:58,766
Holy fuck!
2402
01:23:58,767 --> 01:23:59,701
- God!
- Wow!
2403
01:23:59,702 --> 01:24:00,902
GUEST 5: Pervert!
2404
01:24:00,903 --> 01:24:01,869
(SQUELCHING)
2405
01:24:01,870 --> 01:24:03,472
(GUESTS GROAN)
2406
01:24:05,208 --> 01:24:07,342
Hey.
Don't forget to cup the balls.
2407
01:24:07,343 --> 01:24:10,278
(LAUGHTER)
2408
01:24:10,279 --> 01:24:12,680
- Ramathorn, stop!
- (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS WEAKLY)
2409
01:24:12,681 --> 01:24:14,048
Why don't you
stick your head up there?
2410
01:24:14,049 --> 01:24:15,250
You'll get a better look.
2411
01:24:15,251 --> 01:24:17,652
(LAUGHTER)
2412
01:24:17,653 --> 01:24:19,555
- (FORCED LAUGH)
- (SQUELCHING)
2413
01:24:20,089 --> 01:24:21,456
(ELEPHANT FARTS)
2414
01:24:21,457 --> 01:24:23,291
- There's nothing in there.
- (FARTS)
2415
01:24:23,292 --> 01:24:25,093
- Ugh.
- (sighs)
2416
01:24:25,094 --> 01:24:26,428
All right.
Everybody back in the tent.
2417
01:24:26,429 --> 01:24:28,029
Nothing to see here.
Nothing to see here.
2418
01:24:28,030 --> 01:24:29,030
GUESTS: Shame. Shame on you.
2419
01:24:29,031 --> 01:24:30,832
Shame. Shame.
Shame. Shame.
2420
01:24:30,833 --> 01:24:33,135
Shame. Shame. Shame.
Shame. Shame.
2421
01:24:33,136 --> 01:24:34,736
- THORNY: Okay. I was wrong.
- GUESTS: Shame. Shame.
2422
01:24:34,737 --> 01:24:36,338
- God.
- GUESTS: Shame. Shame.
2423
01:24:36,339 --> 01:24:38,573
- Shame. Shame. Shame.
- (THORNY SIGHS)
2424
01:24:38,574 --> 01:24:40,109
Mac, there was nothing in there.
2425
01:24:40,476 --> 01:24:43,077
(STRAINED)
They said, "elephant."
2426
01:24:43,078 --> 01:24:45,114
Okay, let's get this guy
to a hospital now?
2427
01:24:46,182 --> 01:24:47,350
Hold on.
2428
01:24:52,054 --> 01:24:54,589
Wrong elephant.
2429
01:24:54,590 --> 01:24:56,591
Oh, for fuck's sake, what now?
2430
01:24:56,592 --> 01:25:00,329
I'll bet my left nut
the drugs are in this elephant!
2431
01:25:00,863 --> 01:25:03,832
Drugs inside of Ganesh?
Are you out of your mind?
2432
01:25:05,134 --> 01:25:07,569
Arcot Jambulingam Ramathorn,
2433
01:25:07,570 --> 01:25:09,704
don't you dare
touch that statue.
2434
01:25:09,705 --> 01:25:13,209
Arcot, you godless animal.
I have never been so ashamed.
2435
01:25:13,876 --> 01:25:16,411
- (THORNY GRUNTS) Ah-ha!
- (GUESTS GASP)
2436
01:25:16,412 --> 01:25:18,947
(TRIUMPHANT CHUCKLE)
2437
01:25:20,916 --> 01:25:22,251
(GUESTS GASP)
2438
01:25:26,121 --> 01:25:27,755
(LAUGHS)
2439
01:25:27,756 --> 01:25:29,192
Thank God. I needed a win.
2440
01:25:29,558 --> 01:25:32,094
You're a regular
Sherlock Holmes, Thorny.
2441
01:25:32,661 --> 01:25:34,929
- Freeze, you fucking Buchanans!
- (GUESTS GASP)
2442
01:25:34,930 --> 01:25:35,764
- Look, everybody...
- (BANG)
2443
01:25:35,998 --> 01:25:36,832
- (GUESTS GASP)
- ...chill the fuck out!
2444
01:25:37,700 --> 01:25:40,035
Coy is dirty.
2445
01:25:41,003 --> 01:25:44,907
He and Buchanans
tried to kill me.
2446
01:25:45,741 --> 01:25:47,342
Fuck, I knew Coy was dirty.
2447
01:25:47,343 --> 01:25:49,076
Oh, shut up. No, you didn't.
2448
01:25:49,077 --> 01:25:51,012
- (GRUNTS)
- (GUESTS GASP, SCREAM)
2449
01:25:51,013 --> 01:25:52,714
- (BULLET WHIZZES)
- Come on, bro!
2450
01:25:52,715 --> 01:25:54,250
- (YELPS)
- (GUESTS SCREAM)
2451
01:25:56,585 --> 01:25:57,919
Whoa, whoa, what's happening?
2452
01:25:57,920 --> 01:25:59,822
It's either gunshots or popcorn.
2453
01:26:00,423 --> 01:26:01,556
(RABBIT AND FOSTER YELL)
2454
01:26:01,557 --> 01:26:02,625
(BOTH GRUNT)
2455
01:26:05,261 --> 01:26:06,160
THORNY: Ooh.
2456
01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:07,095
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
2457
01:26:07,796 --> 01:26:08,864
(BULLETS RICOCHET)
2458
01:26:09,532 --> 01:26:10,465
- (BULLET WHIZZES)
- (GUEST YELPS)
2459
01:26:10,466 --> 01:26:11,466
Where the hell are your guns?
2460
01:26:11,467 --> 01:26:12,734
Hindu wedding.
2461
01:26:12,735 --> 01:26:13,836
No booze either.
2462
01:26:14,237 --> 01:26:16,238
But I know where the guns are.
I'm on it.
2463
01:26:16,239 --> 01:26:19,073
- Let's go! Come on!
- Come on!
2464
01:26:19,074 --> 01:26:21,410
Can somebody scratch my nose, please?
2465
01:26:22,945 --> 01:26:23,878
(GUNS CLICK)
2466
01:26:23,879 --> 01:26:25,281
- Oh, fuck.
- Go, go!
2467
01:26:26,215 --> 01:26:27,949
- (YELLS)
- (GROANS)
2468
01:26:27,950 --> 01:26:29,117
- (GUESTS SCREAMING)
- (PANTING)
2469
01:26:30,819 --> 01:26:32,488
- (GRUNTS)
- (GUNS FIRING)
2470
01:26:34,257 --> 01:26:36,258
(BOTH GRUNT)
2471
01:26:36,259 --> 01:26:38,626
(BOTH GRUNTING)
2472
01:26:38,627 --> 01:26:40,128
- (GRUNTS)
- Oof!
2473
01:26:40,529 --> 01:26:41,630
- (FOSTER GROANS)
- (COY GRUNTS)
2474
01:26:42,431 --> 01:26:44,300
- (GRUNTS)
- (MOANS)
2475
01:26:44,700 --> 01:26:47,302
Next time you're
sixty-nining my ex-girlfriend,
2476
01:26:47,303 --> 01:26:49,238
tell her Foster says--
(GROANS)
2477
01:26:50,873 --> 01:26:52,708
- Fuck!
- (GUNS FIRING)
2478
01:26:54,843 --> 01:26:55,711
Mom!
2479
01:26:56,211 --> 01:26:57,512
- (GASPS)
- (BULLETS RICOCHET)
2480
01:26:57,513 --> 01:26:59,582
I got her! (YELLS)
2481
01:26:59,915 --> 01:27:00,749
- (GUN FIRES)
- (GRUNTS)
2482
01:27:01,250 --> 01:27:02,318
(BOTH GRUNT)
2483
01:27:03,786 --> 01:27:04,952
(GRUNTS)
2484
01:27:04,953 --> 01:27:06,053
Oh, gosh!
2485
01:27:06,054 --> 01:27:07,154
Are you okay?
2486
01:27:07,155 --> 01:27:08,657
- Yeah, but you aren't.
- (PAINED GRUNT)
2487
01:27:10,092 --> 01:27:11,994
Rabbit! Come here!
2488
01:27:13,529 --> 01:27:16,965
(GASPS, GRUNTS)
Cover me! (SNARLS, PANTS)
2489
01:27:17,600 --> 01:27:18,534
Oh, shit!
2490
01:27:19,702 --> 01:27:21,804
Hey, guys.
Let's go kick some ass.
2491
01:27:22,505 --> 01:27:23,706
Yeah, let's do it.
2492
01:27:24,172 --> 01:27:25,007
(GRUNTS)
2493
01:27:25,508 --> 01:27:29,110
- (RABBIT AND FARVA GRUNT)
- (MAC SCREAMING)
2494
01:27:29,111 --> 01:27:30,445
(BUCHANANS YELP, GRUNT)
2495
01:27:30,446 --> 01:27:32,514
- (LAUGHS)
- Yeah, take that, bitches!
2496
01:27:32,515 --> 01:27:33,548
- What the fuck?
- (RABBIT LAUGHING)
2497
01:27:33,549 --> 01:27:35,350
- Freeze, you fucking Buchanans.
- (FARVA LAUGHS)
2498
01:27:35,351 --> 01:27:36,184
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
2499
01:27:36,352 --> 01:27:38,453
Yeah, fuck you,
wedding planners.
2500
01:27:38,454 --> 01:27:41,323
- Save the date... for jail!
- Oh!
2501
01:27:41,324 --> 01:27:42,990
- Right? Am I right?
- Burn! (CHUCKLES)
2502
01:27:42,991 --> 01:27:43,826
(ALL LAUGH)
2503
01:27:44,059 --> 01:27:45,993
Are you kidding me?
We didn't do anything wrong.
2504
01:27:45,994 --> 01:27:47,128
This is bullshit.
2505
01:27:47,129 --> 01:27:48,863
- Sorry for partying.
- STEVE: Yeah.
2506
01:27:48,864 --> 01:27:50,999
Fucking drop it,
or I'll spill his brains.
2507
01:27:51,967 --> 01:27:53,369
I'll do it. Don't make me!
2508
01:27:56,505 --> 01:27:57,705
- (GRUNTS)
- I'll fucking kill him--
2509
01:27:57,706 --> 01:27:58,973
- (WAILS)
- Have some samosas!
2510
01:27:58,974 --> 01:28:00,074
- Oh!
- (WAILS)
2511
01:28:00,075 --> 01:28:04,045
It burns! Ow-ow-ow.
It burns! (SOBS)
2512
01:28:04,046 --> 01:28:06,180
New Delhi Nose Peppers, bitch!
2513
01:28:06,181 --> 01:28:09,050
Okay. Okay. Everybody calm down.
2514
01:28:09,051 --> 01:28:10,619
I'm taking the bride
as insurance.
2515
01:28:11,720 --> 01:28:13,221
Don't do it, Coy.
2516
01:28:13,822 --> 01:28:14,990
I swear to God.
2517
01:28:15,724 --> 01:28:17,625
I will put a bullet
in her bindi.
2518
01:28:17,626 --> 01:28:20,027
- (GASPS)
- Hey, Rookie. (GRUNTS)
2519
01:28:20,028 --> 01:28:21,463
- (GRUNTS)
- (GASPS)
2520
01:28:21,464 --> 01:28:22,930
It's been knife knowing ya.
2521
01:28:22,931 --> 01:28:24,866
- STEVE: Holy shit.
- (GASPS)
2522
01:28:24,867 --> 01:28:26,668
What the fuck?
2523
01:28:26,669 --> 01:28:28,403
I thought he hurt his arm
bowling.
2524
01:28:28,404 --> 01:28:29,671
Way to go, Rook.
2525
01:28:29,672 --> 01:28:30,805
I'm the rookie again?
2526
01:28:30,806 --> 01:28:33,808
You gotta be a rookie
to be Rookie of the Year.
2527
01:28:33,809 --> 01:28:35,242
- Oh! (LAUGHS)
- Bang!
2528
01:28:35,243 --> 01:28:37,513
(BOTH LAUGH)
2529
01:28:38,080 --> 01:28:38,914
URSULA: Hey.
2530
01:28:39,715 --> 01:28:40,848
(SIGHS) Hey.
2531
01:28:40,849 --> 01:28:41,949
You okay?
2532
01:28:41,950 --> 01:28:44,886
I am. Thanks to you.
2533
01:28:44,887 --> 01:28:46,788
Ursula, I've been
a complete fool
2534
01:28:46,789 --> 01:28:48,055
these last few weeks.
2535
01:28:48,056 --> 01:28:50,124
Yeah, well, you've kinda been
a complete fool
2536
01:28:50,125 --> 01:28:51,426
the entire time I've known you.
2537
01:28:51,427 --> 01:28:52,761
- Yeah. Yeah.
- (URSULA CHUCKLES)
2538
01:28:53,796 --> 01:28:55,998
So, uh, you and Coy, huh?
2539
01:28:56,799 --> 01:28:57,765
"Me and Coy" what?
2540
01:28:57,766 --> 01:29:00,067
I don't know,
sex, HJ's, whatever.
2541
01:29:00,068 --> 01:29:01,903
It's cool.
We were broken up, you know.
2542
01:29:01,904 --> 01:29:04,872
Ew! Gross, no! He's a child.
2543
01:29:04,873 --> 01:29:06,741
Who would wanna have sex
with a 20-something?
2544
01:29:06,742 --> 01:29:07,876
(LAUGHS)
2545
01:29:08,544 --> 01:29:11,045
Right. Gross.
2546
01:29:11,046 --> 01:29:12,280
- Not me.
- (URSULA CHUCKLES)
2547
01:29:14,850 --> 01:29:16,819
(ENGINE STARTS,
SIREN WHOOPS)
2548
01:29:20,288 --> 01:29:21,323
(GROANS)
2549
01:29:21,924 --> 01:29:24,191
Thank you for saving my life,
Todd.
2550
01:29:24,192 --> 01:29:26,494
No. I just...
2551
01:29:26,495 --> 01:29:29,497
hope that in some small way,
2552
01:29:29,498 --> 01:29:31,834
it makes up for my speech
last night.
2553
01:29:33,869 --> 01:29:37,705
I thought my appreciation
for your culture was evidence
2554
01:29:37,706 --> 01:29:40,075
that my heart was
in the right place, but...
2555
01:29:41,276 --> 01:29:42,845
maybe it was just a front.
2556
01:29:44,046 --> 01:29:46,080
Maybe I am racist.
2557
01:29:46,081 --> 01:29:47,682
Wait, no, Markowski.
2558
01:29:47,683 --> 01:29:49,383
No, no, no,
we were just fucking with you.
2559
01:29:49,384 --> 01:29:50,885
- What?
- (SIGHS)
2560
01:29:50,886 --> 01:29:52,754
- We made it up!
- Seriously?
2561
01:29:52,755 --> 01:29:54,957
You didn't give a racist speech,
Markowski.
2562
01:29:55,624 --> 01:29:57,124
It's fucking Captain!
2563
01:29:57,125 --> 01:29:58,292
- Captain.
- Captain. Captain.
2564
01:29:58,293 --> 01:29:59,227
Why? I just can't--
2565
01:29:59,662 --> 01:30:01,396
- I don't know. Doesn't work.
- I don't like-- Does not.
2566
01:30:01,797 --> 01:30:04,832
I don't know
what is going on here.
2567
01:30:04,833 --> 01:30:07,503
But I think I've decided
who my revenge fuck will be.
2568
01:30:09,237 --> 01:30:12,474
God damn Putzfimmel Syndrome!
2569
01:30:12,475 --> 01:30:13,875
- (GOAT BLEATS)
- (MAC WHIMPERS)
2570
01:30:13,876 --> 01:30:15,878
(SHIVERING)
2571
01:30:16,445 --> 01:30:18,180
- (GOAT BLEATS)
- (WHIMPERS)
2572
01:30:18,781 --> 01:30:19,915
(WHIMPERS, SHIVERS)
2573
01:30:20,248 --> 01:30:23,885
Despite all the horrible things
I said about this car...
2574
01:30:23,886 --> 01:30:25,152
(SHIVERS)
2575
01:30:25,153 --> 01:30:26,588
...it saved my life.
2576
01:30:26,589 --> 01:30:27,722
I know.
2577
01:30:27,723 --> 01:30:30,157
We jumped the creek together.
(SHIVERS)
2578
01:30:30,158 --> 01:30:32,359
Thorny, that was my white whale.
2579
01:30:32,360 --> 01:30:33,461
(SHIVERS)
2580
01:30:33,462 --> 01:30:36,130
My w-white w-whale.
2581
01:30:36,131 --> 01:30:38,534
- I know, little buddy. I know.
- (TEETH CHATTER)
2582
01:30:39,668 --> 01:30:40,668
Hold me?
2583
01:30:40,669 --> 01:30:43,237
- (SHIVERING)
- No. No.
2584
01:30:43,238 --> 01:30:44,172
THORNY: Um...
2585
01:30:45,140 --> 01:30:46,208
How's my girl doing?
2586
01:30:50,245 --> 01:30:51,547
I'm fine, Rodney.
2587
01:30:53,215 --> 01:30:54,617
But I'm not your girl anymore.
2588
01:30:55,751 --> 01:30:58,286
Our whole relationship
was based on a lie.
2589
01:30:58,954 --> 01:31:00,888
(SIGHS)
2590
01:31:00,889 --> 01:31:03,758
You ran me off the road,
lied to me about it,
2591
01:31:03,759 --> 01:31:06,027
and then let me
get taken hostage.
2592
01:31:06,028 --> 01:31:07,095
All true.
2593
01:31:10,499 --> 01:31:12,868
And I probably would've died...
2594
01:31:14,570 --> 01:31:15,871
...if not for Rabbit.
2595
01:31:18,373 --> 01:31:20,007
He's the real hero.
2596
01:31:20,008 --> 01:31:21,109
(GUESTS GASP)
2597
01:31:21,443 --> 01:31:22,578
- SARITA: Rabbit.
- (MUKUNDAN GROANS)
2598
01:31:24,412 --> 01:31:28,349
He risked his life to save mine,
2599
01:31:28,350 --> 01:31:30,919
and I don't know
what to say except...
2600
01:31:31,887 --> 01:31:32,888
I love you.
2601
01:31:35,257 --> 01:31:36,791
- (GUESTS GASP)
- What?
2602
01:31:36,792 --> 01:31:37,826
No, no, no, no, no.
2603
01:31:38,694 --> 01:31:40,028
God damn Putzfimmel's.
2604
01:31:44,867 --> 01:31:45,868
- Wow.
- (CHUCKLES)
2605
01:31:46,702 --> 01:31:47,703
Wow.
2606
01:31:49,738 --> 01:31:52,540
As you know, I've been
going through a lot recently,
2607
01:31:52,541 --> 01:31:54,108
with the new guy
getting all the attention.
2608
01:31:54,109 --> 01:31:55,443
(GROANS)
2609
01:31:55,711 --> 01:31:58,480
I was jealous, and I just feel
like I needed to be loved again.
2610
01:31:58,847 --> 01:32:01,082
And now,
in the most unlikely way,
2611
01:32:01,083 --> 01:32:02,116
love found me.
2612
01:32:02,117 --> 01:32:03,318
GUESTS: Aww!
2613
01:32:04,887 --> 01:32:06,821
Love found me.
2614
01:32:06,822 --> 01:32:08,222
Yeah, I'm just kidding.
Sorry, Rabbit.
2615
01:32:08,223 --> 01:32:10,057
- What?
- Oh!
2616
01:32:10,058 --> 01:32:11,626
- I got you good, you fucker!
- What's going on?
2617
01:32:11,627 --> 01:32:13,460
- Oh, shit! That's my girl!
- Yeah!
2618
01:32:13,461 --> 01:32:14,662
- Your girl!
- (FARVA LAUGHS)
2619
01:32:14,663 --> 01:32:16,664
(LAUGHTER)
2620
01:32:16,665 --> 01:32:18,032
- What?
- Let's go get hitched, baby!
2621
01:32:18,033 --> 01:32:19,366
Yeah, let's do it!
2622
01:32:19,367 --> 01:32:22,169
(GUESTS CHEER, APPLAUD)
2623
01:32:22,170 --> 01:32:23,304
Fuck you, Rabbit!
2624
01:32:23,305 --> 01:32:24,640
(FARVA WHOOPS)
2625
01:32:28,744 --> 01:32:31,512
Today is about family,
2626
01:32:31,513 --> 01:32:34,415
and I did not want
Rod Farva in my family.
2627
01:32:34,416 --> 01:32:35,517
Thorny.
2628
01:32:35,684 --> 01:32:39,420
But since I now know
that this is not my choice.
2629
01:32:39,421 --> 01:32:40,623
My parents love him.
2630
01:32:41,824 --> 01:32:43,626
My sister loves him.
2631
01:32:44,559 --> 01:32:47,529
And, well...
that's good enough for me.
2632
01:32:48,664 --> 01:32:51,499
So, since my objections
have been overruled.
2633
01:32:52,167 --> 01:32:55,837
Do you Rodney Beauchamp Farva
take Sarita Padmavati Ramathorn
2634
01:32:55,838 --> 01:32:57,338
as your lawfully wedded wife?
2635
01:32:57,339 --> 01:32:58,239
I do.
2636
01:32:58,240 --> 01:32:59,173
- And do you...
- (SQUEALS)
2637
01:32:59,174 --> 01:33:00,842
...Sarita Padmavati Ramathorn
2638
01:33:00,843 --> 01:33:02,744
take Rodney Beauchamp Farva
2639
01:33:02,745 --> 01:33:04,512
as your lawfully wedded husband?
2640
01:33:04,880 --> 01:33:05,748
I do.
2641
01:33:07,582 --> 01:33:09,117
Carl Oliver Foster.
2642
01:33:10,452 --> 01:33:13,255
Do you take Ursula Hanson
as your lawfully wedded wife?
2643
01:33:13,922 --> 01:33:15,422
I do.
2644
01:33:15,423 --> 01:33:17,124
THORNY: And Ursula Hanson,
do you take--
2645
01:33:17,125 --> 01:33:18,592
Damn straight I do.
2646
01:33:18,593 --> 01:33:20,262
- Then, by the powers vested--
- (MAC CLEARS THROAT)
2647
01:33:20,996 --> 01:33:22,463
MAC: Hey, Thorn?
2648
01:33:22,464 --> 01:33:23,999
I'd like to marry this car.
2649
01:33:25,801 --> 01:33:26,701
What?
2650
01:33:26,702 --> 01:33:28,202
I'd like to marry this car.
2651
01:33:28,203 --> 01:33:31,072
No. Dude,
all that Canadian Crystal
2652
01:33:31,073 --> 01:33:33,708
has you spinnin' off
Saturn's seventh moon right now.
2653
01:33:33,709 --> 01:33:36,110
Maybe, but I'd like to spend
the rest of my days
2654
01:33:36,111 --> 01:33:37,111
with this car.
2655
01:33:37,112 --> 01:33:38,746
I'm not marrying you to a car.
2656
01:33:38,747 --> 01:33:40,348
I'm marrying the fucking car!
2657
01:33:41,116 --> 01:33:42,117
Fine.
2658
01:33:43,085 --> 01:33:45,753
Do you MacIntyre McDonald Womack
2659
01:33:45,754 --> 01:33:47,789
take Le Sportif Electrique
2660
01:33:47,790 --> 01:33:49,892
as your lawfully wedded partner?
2661
01:33:50,458 --> 01:33:52,160
I do. (EXHALES)
2662
01:33:52,861 --> 01:33:53,996
Now, ask it.
2663
01:33:54,329 --> 01:33:56,631
And you better mean it.
I'll know if you don't mean it.
2664
01:33:57,833 --> 01:33:59,701
Do you Sportif Electrique
2665
01:33:59,702 --> 01:34:02,169
take MacIntyre Womack
as your partner?
2666
01:34:02,170 --> 01:34:04,305
VOICE: I do not
understand the question.
2667
01:34:04,306 --> 01:34:06,041
Please rephrase it
and ask again, bud.
2668
01:34:06,508 --> 01:34:07,342
We do.
2669
01:34:08,076 --> 01:34:11,612
Then, by the powers vested in me
by the great state of Vermont,
2670
01:34:11,613 --> 01:34:14,182
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
2671
01:34:15,183 --> 01:34:17,284
And husband and wife.
2672
01:34:17,285 --> 01:34:19,153
And husband and car?
2673
01:34:19,154 --> 01:34:19,988
(SIGHS)
2674
01:34:20,823 --> 01:34:23,258
- You may all kiss your brides.
- (SARITA SQUEALS)
2675
01:34:24,559 --> 01:34:26,660
- (CHEERS, APPLAUSE)
- (LAUGHS)
2676
01:34:26,661 --> 01:34:27,529
- Yes!
- (WHOOPS)
2677
01:34:29,364 --> 01:34:30,664
Thorny, I married your sister!
2678
01:34:30,665 --> 01:34:32,499
(LAUGHS) Yes!
2679
01:34:32,500 --> 01:34:34,668
(CHEERS, APPLAUSE CONTINUES)
2680
01:34:34,669 --> 01:34:35,570
Whoo!
2681
01:34:40,175 --> 01:34:41,877
Mm... (SMOOCHES)
2682
01:34:43,111 --> 01:34:45,347
(SMOOCHING)
2683
01:34:46,381 --> 01:34:47,949
(SIREN PULSES SOFTLY)
2684
01:34:47,950 --> 01:34:49,717
- (SMOOCHING, SIREN CONTINUE)
- I give it a month.
2685
01:34:49,718 --> 01:34:50,985
- (GRUNTS)
- (GUESTS GROAN)
2686
01:34:50,986 --> 01:34:51,987
Jesus.
2687
01:34:53,388 --> 01:34:55,222
(MAC GRUNTS)
2688
01:34:55,223 --> 01:34:57,291
Todd, I have a gift for you.
2689
01:34:57,292 --> 01:34:59,327
You didn't have to do that.
2690
01:35:00,763 --> 01:35:02,263
Just because
the wrapper's wrinkled
2691
01:35:02,264 --> 01:35:04,499
doesn't mean
the candy isn't sweet.
2692
01:35:06,301 --> 01:35:08,070
Check out number 58.
2693
01:35:08,871 --> 01:35:09,704
(WINK DINGS)
2694
01:35:10,072 --> 01:35:11,173
Okay.
2695
01:35:12,007 --> 01:35:13,474
- Ooh.
- Oh. Uh.
2696
01:35:13,475 --> 01:35:14,842
"The Flying Squirrel."
2697
01:35:14,843 --> 01:35:16,544
Uh... But the...
2698
01:35:17,079 --> 01:35:18,046
Is it...?
2699
01:35:19,381 --> 01:35:20,581
Brother.
2700
01:35:20,582 --> 01:35:21,548
Congratulations--
2701
01:35:21,549 --> 01:35:22,616
Psych!
2702
01:35:22,617 --> 01:35:23,986
(CACKLES)
2703
01:35:24,386 --> 01:35:26,288
Come here, ya big softy.
(LAUGHS)
2704
01:35:26,822 --> 01:35:29,290
You're gonna be an uncle!
(LAUGHS)
2705
01:35:29,291 --> 01:35:31,158
(SMOOCHES, CACKLES)
2706
01:35:31,159 --> 01:35:33,527
(CACKLES, GIGGLES)
2707
01:35:33,528 --> 01:35:35,096
("I FOUGHT THE LAW"
BY THE CLASH PLAYS)
2708
01:35:35,097 --> 01:35:36,663
(GRUNTS, WAILS)
2709
01:35:36,664 --> 01:35:38,966
(GARBLED WAILING)
2710
01:35:38,967 --> 01:35:41,668
(CACKLING)
2711
01:35:41,669 --> 01:35:43,570
(GROANING)
2712
01:35:43,571 --> 01:35:45,072
- (WAILS)
- (CRUNCHES)
2713
01:35:45,073 --> 01:35:47,474
- (SCREAMS)
- Mukundan! (GASP)
2714
01:35:47,475 --> 01:35:48,609
(GRUNTS)
2715
01:35:48,610 --> 01:35:50,177
- (YELPS, GRUNTS)
- (GUESTS GASP)
2716
01:35:50,178 --> 01:35:51,545
- (WAILS)
- (GROANS, GASPS)
2717
01:35:51,546 --> 01:35:52,780
♪ I fought the law
And the law won ♪
2718
01:35:52,781 --> 01:35:54,248
You're such a fucking idiot!
(GROANS)
2719
01:35:54,249 --> 01:35:56,083
♪ I fought the law
And the law won ♪
2720
01:35:56,084 --> 01:35:57,452
- Oh, my God.
- ♪ I needed money ♪
2721
01:35:57,552 --> 01:35:59,553
- ♪ 'Cause I had none ♪
- Put it back, put it back!
2722
01:35:59,554 --> 01:36:01,789
♪ I fought the law
And the law won ♪
2723
01:36:01,790 --> 01:36:02,690
(GRUNTS) Ow.
2724
01:36:02,825 --> 01:36:05,492
♪ I fought the law
And the law won ♪
2725
01:36:05,493 --> 01:36:08,662
♪ I left my baby
And it feels so bad ♪
2726
01:36:08,663 --> 01:36:10,932
♪ Guess my race is run ♪
2727
01:36:10,933 --> 01:36:12,033
(GUESTS CLAMORING)
2728
01:36:12,034 --> 01:36:15,169
♪ She's the best girl
That I ever had ♪
2729
01:36:15,170 --> 01:36:18,206
♪ I fought the law
And the law won ♪
2730
01:36:18,340 --> 01:36:20,208
♪ I fought the law
And the ♪
2731
01:36:33,255 --> 01:36:34,990
(WOODPECKER THUDDING DISTANTLY)
2732
01:36:35,757 --> 01:36:39,161
- Ah, this is nice.
- Mm-hmm.
2733
01:36:40,028 --> 01:36:43,597
You know, Governor,
they don't think you're real.
2734
01:36:43,598 --> 01:36:45,332
Who cares?
2735
01:36:45,333 --> 01:36:48,402
You need to stop
hanging around that station.
2736
01:36:48,403 --> 01:36:51,005
If they'd only vacate
the place for a few days,
2737
01:36:51,006 --> 01:36:52,573
I could get
my money out of there.
2738
01:36:52,574 --> 01:36:53,875
How much is it?
2739
01:36:53,876 --> 01:36:56,677
Four million.
Buried in the basement.
2740
01:36:56,678 --> 01:36:57,512
Hmm.
2741
01:36:57,812 --> 01:37:00,447
I know it's down there.
And trust me, I will find it.
2742
01:37:00,448 --> 01:37:02,183
But I need everybody out.
2743
01:37:02,184 --> 01:37:04,251
You know, my secret service guys
2744
01:37:04,252 --> 01:37:05,652
could take care of that...
2745
01:37:05,653 --> 01:37:07,421
(CLICKS TONGUE)
...little problem for you.
2746
01:37:07,422 --> 01:37:11,092
(SIGHS) Laurie.
If it were only Farva, maybe.
2747
01:37:11,093 --> 01:37:12,826
- (LAUGHS)
- (SIGHS)
2748
01:37:12,827 --> 01:37:15,829
Now, your tub or mine?
2749
01:37:15,830 --> 01:37:17,164
Well, it's gonna take me
at least
2750
01:37:17,165 --> 01:37:19,001
20 minutes
to get out of this thing.
2751
01:37:20,869 --> 01:37:22,003
Let's do mine.
2752
01:37:22,004 --> 01:37:23,070
Ooh.
2753
01:37:23,071 --> 01:37:25,739
O'HAGAN: Retirement
ain't so bad after all.
2754
01:37:25,740 --> 01:37:28,575
LAURIE: I will drink to that.
2755
01:37:28,576 --> 01:37:29,744
- Hmm.
- (GLASSES CLINK)
2756
01:37:35,683 --> 01:37:38,653
("SATURDAY NIGHT BLUES"
BY NATURAL CHILD PLAYS)
2757
01:38:45,087 --> 01:38:47,089
("SATURDAY NIGHT BLUES"
BY NATURAL CHILD CONTINUES)
2758
01:39:00,568 --> 01:39:02,703
- (BEEP)
- Oh, you. Action.
2759
01:39:02,704 --> 01:39:04,171
- You, action. You!
- (CHUCKLES)
2760
01:39:04,172 --> 01:39:05,839
- You, act.
- You, action time, go.
2761
01:39:05,840 --> 01:39:07,074
- NAT: Act now.
- KEVIN: Go now.
2762
01:39:07,075 --> 01:39:08,475
- (BEEP)
- (CHUCKLING)
2763
01:39:08,476 --> 01:39:10,544
CREW MEMBER:
Twenty-three ch-- Charlie.
2764
01:39:10,545 --> 01:39:12,379
- (CHUCKLING) Right.
- CREW MEMBER: Take one.
2765
01:39:12,380 --> 01:39:13,514
- Jeez.
- Oh, God!
2766
01:39:13,515 --> 01:39:15,449
(CREW LAUGHS)
2767
01:39:15,450 --> 01:39:16,517
- Are you Farva?
- I am.
2768
01:39:16,518 --> 01:39:17,818
Sorry. I thought you were Farva.
2769
01:39:17,819 --> 01:39:18,786
No, I'm Mac.
2770
01:39:18,920 --> 01:39:20,321
- Steve Lemme, nice to meet you.
- I can remember you.
2771
01:39:20,322 --> 01:39:22,456
Sorry, I only read this
about two days ago
2772
01:39:22,457 --> 01:39:23,525
because
I didn't want to fucking--
2773
01:39:23,625 --> 01:39:25,292
There's still time
to pass on the project.
2774
01:39:25,293 --> 01:39:26,493
(ALL LAUGH)
2775
01:39:26,494 --> 01:39:29,096
Ay-ay-ay!
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
2776
01:39:29,097 --> 01:39:32,466
Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!
2777
01:39:32,467 --> 01:39:34,135
- (ULULATING)
- Okay, good. I think we're--
2778
01:39:34,136 --> 01:39:35,902
- (MARKER BEEPS)
- Shakespeare, there--
2779
01:39:35,903 --> 01:39:37,504
No. Fucking Shakespeare
would never say it,
2780
01:39:37,505 --> 01:39:39,306
fucking peanut gallery.
2781
01:39:39,307 --> 01:39:40,307
I've done more Shakespeare
2782
01:39:40,308 --> 01:39:41,575
than you've had
fucking hot dinners,
2783
01:39:41,576 --> 01:39:43,445
- so don't even...
- (LAUGHTER)
2784
01:39:45,247 --> 01:39:46,447
Does that look normal?
2785
01:39:46,448 --> 01:39:47,881
(CHASE LAUGHS)
2786
01:39:47,882 --> 01:39:50,451
Faster, brother!
Harder, brother!
2787
01:39:50,452 --> 01:39:51,686
- (CREW LAUGHS)
- (SNORTS)
2788
01:39:52,087 --> 01:39:53,654
Where'd you get that tan?
The internet?
2789
01:39:53,655 --> 01:39:55,322
I actually have
pigment syndrome.
2790
01:39:55,323 --> 01:39:57,558
(GROANS)
2791
01:39:57,559 --> 01:39:59,426
- (CHUCKLES)
- (CREW MURMURS)
2792
01:39:59,427 --> 01:40:00,295
(BEEP)
2793
01:40:01,763 --> 01:40:03,430
- (BEEP)
- Oh, shut the fuck up.
2794
01:40:03,431 --> 01:40:04,631
Oh, give me a break!
2795
01:40:04,632 --> 01:40:06,133
- (BEEP)
- Come on, dipshit!
2796
01:40:06,134 --> 01:40:07,069
- (BEEPS)
- Sorry. (GIGGLES)
2797
01:40:07,169 --> 01:40:08,735
(CREW LAUGHS)
2798
01:40:08,736 --> 01:40:09,836
- (BEEPS)
- Can you hear that?
2799
01:40:09,837 --> 01:40:10,971
(CHEWS NOISILY)
2800
01:40:10,972 --> 01:40:12,373
That's three pieces of gum.
2801
01:40:12,374 --> 01:40:13,707
(GUM SMACKING)
2802
01:40:13,708 --> 01:40:15,276
All at once.
Can you hear it now?
2803
01:40:15,277 --> 01:40:16,210
- (FEEDBACK WHINES)
- Ow.
2804
01:40:16,211 --> 01:40:17,378
Can you hear me now?
(LAUGHS)
2805
01:40:17,379 --> 01:40:18,280
I love that thing.
2806
01:40:18,380 --> 01:40:19,713
- Can you hear me now?
- (CREW LAUGHS)
2807
01:40:19,714 --> 01:40:20,714
- And you're the one who's...
- Okay.
2808
01:40:20,715 --> 01:40:21,615
- ...getting everybody to...
- Okay.
2809
01:40:21,616 --> 01:40:23,284
- ...talk about my erections.
- (SIGHS)
2810
01:40:23,285 --> 01:40:24,618
JAY: Cut it.
Okay, good. Very nice.
2811
01:40:24,619 --> 01:40:26,921
(LAUGHTER)
2812
01:40:28,056 --> 01:40:28,890
(BEEP)
2813
01:40:29,724 --> 01:40:31,058
- (BEEP)
- Farva's gonna speak.
2814
01:40:31,059 --> 01:40:32,427
I don't give a fuck.
2815
01:40:34,129 --> 01:40:35,796
I'm gonna stare at you
all night.
2816
01:40:35,797 --> 01:40:36,831
(LAUGHS)
2817
01:40:39,334 --> 01:40:41,202
- (CHUCKLES) All right, cut.
- (LAUGHTER)
2818
01:40:41,203 --> 01:40:42,104
- (BEEP)
- Enough's enough, okay?
2819
01:40:42,270 --> 01:40:43,237
We're gonna stop
a beautiful wedding
2820
01:40:43,238 --> 01:40:44,338
just because a little boy
2821
01:40:44,339 --> 01:40:46,140
in a big brick
of frozen goo showed up?
2822
01:40:46,141 --> 01:40:47,508
No. It's a beautiful wedding,
2823
01:40:47,509 --> 01:40:49,576
and the only one covered in goo
tonight should be the bride.
2824
01:40:49,577 --> 01:40:50,678
- So, let's get back in our...
- (SPUTTERS)
2825
01:40:50,778 --> 01:40:52,879
- ...positions, okay? (CHUCKLES)
- (LAUGHTER)
2826
01:40:52,880 --> 01:40:54,848
- That was good. Yeah.
- Sorry!
2827
01:40:54,849 --> 01:40:56,283
- (LAUGHTER)
- JAY: Very nice.
2828
01:40:56,284 --> 01:40:57,219
(BEEP)
2829
01:40:57,385 --> 01:40:59,586
- IQBAL (AS MUKUNDAN) Boopy.
- (BELCHES)
2830
01:40:59,587 --> 01:41:00,454
- Are there any...
- (BELCHING CONTINUES)
2831
01:41:00,455 --> 01:41:01,589
...hors d'oeuvres
2832
01:41:01,756 --> 01:41:04,591
or perhaps some crudités
or shrimp cocktail?
2833
01:41:04,592 --> 01:41:06,160
(WHEEZES)
2834
01:41:06,161 --> 01:41:07,862
- I can't do--
- (BURPS, SIGHS)
2835
01:41:08,363 --> 01:41:09,830
We're going out to eat tonight,
Dad.
2836
01:41:09,831 --> 01:41:11,365
- Oh, sorry.
- (BELCHES)
2837
01:41:11,366 --> 01:41:12,333
We're going out to eat tonight,
2838
01:41:12,334 --> 01:41:13,467
- Dad.
- (BELCHES, GROANS)
2839
01:41:13,468 --> 01:41:15,203
Let's cut it.
Let's not do all of them.
2840
01:41:15,637 --> 01:41:17,804
All right, we got it, we got it.
Okay, good, we'll cut.
2841
01:41:17,805 --> 01:41:18,740
- Very nice.
- (BEEP)
2842
01:43:41,082 --> 01:43:46,488
♪ Duck Neck
Creek ♪