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Hey! Excuse me!
Excuse me!
Kid! Seriously!
I'll go up and say something.
Yeah, ask if we can come.
No, don't. We have exams, boys.
So do they. But that doesn't stop them from fucking.
I'll say to turn down the music.
They'll turn it up even higher, like last time.
Yay, party!
Sorry, girls, the party is upstairs.
No, there's a party here too. Yeah, yeah.
Look, that's liquid ecstasy.
Hey, please! Look, boys.
We have three months to finals, let's focus a little.
If these girls want, they can stay and we'll organize a group study session.
Oh, yeah, great plan.
Eligio, philology.
Pedro, chemistry.
Arturo, economics.
Are you letters or sciences?
No... hey! Hey!
Tell them to turn down the music!
One of them was dressed like a tyrolean.
She only needed the milk jugs.
I'm going to the bathroom while the image is still fresh.
Wait.
All of this effort will be worth it, right?
Friends, romans, countrymen...
I guarantee it.
Come on.
Why does he think he can win?
Because he boasts of having put Spain in the top eight countries in the world.
The Spanish economy has entered the champions league of the global economy.
Ten years later
statistics say that 23% of teachers
make less than 500 Euros a month...
Investment in universities has dropped
by 5 billion Euros, affecting mostly...
We don't want any marketing.
It's your tutor.
We don't want tutors.
Open up, dummy.
Oh, sorry.
I can quit whenever I want
therefore we can confirm that the presence of alkyl polyglycosidic surfactants
does not interfere when measuring narrow-range ethoxylates
and alkyl polyglycosides. Any questions?
Then more tomorrow.
We're finished.
So you have a driver's license?
Of course I do. Cars, motorcycles,
trucks,
bicycles, scooters...
Anything that burns rubber is awesome. Totally.
Experience in the courier business?
I worked two years for a courier company.
It went under after a terrible legal diatribe.
Very sad.
- What did you say? - Very sad.
No, before.
The thing about the tribe.
No, diatribe.
No.
No university graduates here.
And the function of this derivative is...?
Hey, you!
Tonight... party.
It's Tuesday. So?
Put down your phone. You owe me three classes.
Talk to my mom. She's never here.
- She works a lot. - You could try it too, you know.
I'm your only student. What would you live on?
Keep your pants on, I know where she keeps the money.
You do?
Are you leaving?
Yeah, she left. The little bitch.
Pedro, how are you? How are your new students?
Great, very appreciative, but I think they don't understand a single word.
Yeah, none of them passed the language test.
Then why are they here?
A program with the university of Shanghai.
We need their money and they need our prestige.
What prestige?
Besides, my project has been on hold for months.
The vitamin complex, it needs funding.
Oh, right.
Look, do me a favor and correct these exams for me.
And cheer up, Spanish universities are among the best in the world.
My project is this close to getting green lighted.
- Really? - Really.
Sure.
Practically.
Not even close.
- I hate him. - No, you don't.
You hate yourself.
Gloria, please, don't start.
Years repressing yourself,
keeping it all inside, emptied you out.
Then I must be full.
- Excuse me? - Following your logic,
if I kept it all inside, then I'm full.
- You're empty. - I think I'm very full.
So empty. Full.
== === = = sas
you've given your life to science. What has it given you? Think about it.
When you're scared at night,
- what do you cling to? - To you,
until you left me.
It was a toxic relationship.
Arsenic is toxic, polychlorides are toxic.
- Relationships have ups and downs. - Pedro, open up to the world.
You see this? This is your comfort zone,
but out here is where the magic happens.
Did you read that on a coffee mug?
Maybe it was you're f...
You're right.
You're right, I think we should...
Yeah?
Stop seeing each other.
Sign the divorce papers finally.
That's not easy, my lawyer has to see them.
- You don't have a lawyer. - That's why it's not easy.
Daddy,
are you sure this is euro Disney?
Sure, this is their barrio del Pilar branch.
It was uncle Walt's dying wish.
Mom, did you tell him what he has to do?
- Yes, leave my comfort zone. - No, show some balls!
- Claudia... - You said it last night on the phone.
And that you were going to buy Ben wa balls.
It's so late! We're leaving.
Okay, I'll see you next week. I love you, be good.
Let's go.
You must have heard wrong, I never said that.
It was almudena, almudena said it.
You! You promised me funding.
I've spent years on my project
making squat when I would make triple in the private sector.
Why? Because I'm not a good scientist.
I mean, I am, the thing is, I'm very good.
The best, and I have balls.
Two, my daughter told me.
I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me.
No, it's okay, you're right. You're a great scientist.
- Thank you. - Yeah, the best.
Thank you.
Good luck in the private sector.
Excuse me? You're fired.
No, you got me wrong, I want to keep my job.
Oh! I'm sorry, I just hired someone.
- When? - Right now, linkedln.
Linkedln?
It actually works, you know.
What were you thinking? Under every rock there are five willing to do your job. Get out.
Get out!
- What a bastard. - It's my own fault.
Yeah, for listening to your ex-wife.
Wife. We haven't signed the papers yet.
Sic transit Gloria mundi.
"Thus passes the glory of the world."
How did we end up like this?
- This is your project? - Yeah.
It's a vitamin supplement. It strengthens concentration for studying.
- Like a drug? - No.
A medicine that strengthens perception? Sounds like a drug.
Look, all medicines are drugs.
- Like this one? - Yes.
What are you doing? Are you crazy? It's not approved, not even for rats.
Want some?
- It expired months ago. - It gets you higher that way.
I'm against stimulants.
Two majors, three masters and not a single cup of coffee during exams.
And not one fucking party. For what?
To end up like you, divorced and unemployed, or like you,
living with your parents, or like me, I studied economics to be a millionaire
and I'm a bum. I'll tell you one thing.
We wasted our twenties without partying. Let's not waste our thirties.
You're right, give me one.
What are you doing?
You said they were being tested.
Yeah. Yeah.
And now it's your turn, open your mouth.
- Not in a million years. - Come on, open wide.
- Hey! - Not in a million lifetimes!
Eat it, motherfucker!
- Do you feel anything? - It tastes bitter.
It takes a little while to hit you, right?
Great.
I'm leaving.
- Where to? - To get my things.
Okay.
Dalton's atomic model
allowed us to clarify...
Sorry. I'll come back later.
No, gather your things and get the fuck out.
His model allowed us to clarify for the first time
why chemical substances reacted in stoichiometric proportions...
You're leaving?
I got fired.
We'll never forget you, professor.
Thank you for everything.
Oh, captain, my captain!
Hey, what's going on here?
Thanks, kids.
I won't forget you either.
Carpe diem.
Forget your books. You think they help?
Let's find the chapter about how to keep your job
and make your wife happy.
Where is it? Where is it? It's not here
because it doesn't exist!
Be
Free thinkers!
Embrace
veganism! No, there are no rules!
Throw away your notes!
Life knows nothing about notes!
- Who was that? - No idea, it's the first time I've come this year.
Don't just watch! Take part!
Teach!
Teach! Teach!
This is your math tutor? Yup.
Hey, hi, hi! Hi.
Hi.
J said you wanted to talk to me.
Smells like cinnamon. Dude.
- Wait inside, honey. - But mom...
- I said wait. - Yes, ma'am.
- What's up? - What's up?
I thought she was in good hands.
Hands? What hands? Oh, these?
Look at that long lifeline!
- It's a pen Mark. - What do you think it means?
Let me see...
"Prick."
You're wonderful.
Want me to bring you some more leaves?
Arturo!
Call me!
- How was your interview, son? - Short and superficial.
No psychotechnical test, no swot analysis, not even the 19th century Russian novel.
What Russian novel?
That's it. Tomorrow I'm calling my brother to hire him at the gas station.
The gas station? Eligio is a professor.
If he were, he'd be working as one.
Don't worry, son. As long as your parents can support you...
It's not that we can't, I just won't.
Excuse me.
Yes?
- What's wrong with you two? - They didn't affect you?
- What? - The pills, they're awesome!
Well...
I don't feel any symptoms, it must be the placebo effect. Goodbye.
At home he'll have more time to finish his thesis.
It's been ten years.
What matters is he's a good boy
and he's never given us any trouble.
Suddenly I'm singing, it must be because I love you.
I feel the wind blowing through your hands.
Everything is different when I'm looking at you.
Thirty years without lifting a finger! Thirty!
I don't understand myself, it must be because I love you.
I sing to your beat in the middle of January.
It's springtime, it must be because I love you.
When we're together, I don't even know where we are.
What do we care, it must be because I love you.
- Fly, fly and you'll see... - That it's easy to fly.
- Fly, fly and I'll see... - That the world is insane.
If I sing, I sing for you.
Give me your grandfather's blunderbuss, you'll kill someone!
I don't know what's growing inside and outside of me.
- Fly, fly and you'll see... - That it's easy to fly.
- Fly, fly and I'll see... - That the world is insane.
If I sing, I sing for you.
For a love that's showing, I don't know what's growing
inside and outside of me.
Look at him.
See how fucking stupid he is?
Tomorrow the gas station!
How do you guys feel?
It's the best untested vitamin supplement in the world!
- Rapid heartbeat? - No.
I feel 20 again!
Not me, I'm happy. Let's party!
Let's go! I'm broke.
Me too, but these pills are the shit. Are there any more?
- In the lab, but we can't take any more. - I don't mean take them.
You want to sell them? Now we know who's higher.
No, we'd be like Walter white.
Breaking bad! A teacher turns dealer and makes a fortune.
- Does it end well? - Great! He retires in mallorca.
- Not a bad idea. - No, people go to jail for that.
Only criminals who are really stupid.
We're respectable people,
smart, we're professors.
I start tomorrow at my uncle's gas station. My future stinks of defeat and diesel.
You could take your daughters to euro Disney, the real one.
Maybe your wife will tag along.
Let's go.
Pedro! Pills.
- Okay. - Here, put this on.
Here I come, catch me!
Let's go.
- To the hip night spots! - To the hip night spots.
To the hip night spots.
Anybody know one?
What was that one called...?
Where people used to go?
The plastics.
Ah! People got wasted there.
- Let's go! - Let's go.
Looks like we didn't miss much.
It's turned into a salsa disco.
How can they dance on this floor?
Who cares, let's sell. Sell what?
They're all divorced and broke, look.
They're even sharing beers.
Is that Gloria?
Shit, hide!
Pedro?
Can she see me?
Gloria! What are you doing here?
Just came out for a bit.
Don't worry, the girls are with my mother.
And you?
Well... - Celebrating!
Celebrating what?
- What? - The project!
You got the funds. It was a matter of time.
I'm so happy for you!
Come and party with us if you want.
I can't. Actually I came with...
Gloria, your drink.
- Do you remember borja? - No.
At the pharmacy. Well, the owner.
He happens to be Spain's salsa champion.
Bachata.
Bachata champion. The only winner who's a loser.
Since when do you like
- salsa? - Bachata.
Well, that's the thing, I don't. But remember this thing?
Asshole!
The comfort zone.
That's right, I'm leaving mine.
That means they're fucking.
Arturo, please!
- Are you? - Um, Pedro.
You want drugs? What?
- Drugs. - Shut up, you idiot.
Good luck in the contest.
Thank you.
One second, I'll be right over.
Pedro!
Are you okay?
You're right, we should stop seeing each other.
Bachata champion, what a clown! Pay no attention.
Let's deal drugs.
- What? - But big time, nothing petty.
Making a little cash is one thing, getting in trouble is another.
Being good isn't enough. You have to believe it.
Why hasn't eligio come out yet?
Okay, then. My first day...
Is over. See you later.
You still have three hours left.
The bathroom is filthy, someone should clean it.
Yeah, you. I see you coming.
Excuse me?
I don't care that your uncle got you the job, I won't let you exploit me.
Look... Anabel, right? You see me as a threat.
But together we can optimize resources.
You take the bathrooms, pumps and car wash
and I'll take the library.
Lots of essays, little narrative, but soon we'll add references.
- Bye! - Look, know-it-all, I studied too.
Job training is worthy as any other kind.
I studied law and can tell you in three languages to eat my...
Thank you, good night.
To eat my twat. In French, "mange my chatte." In english...
How could a man of my lineage fall so low.
I suspect that gesture means you're telling me to...
- What? - I don't like those guys.
Why not? Look at them.
- Sports attire, they're athletes. - Shut the fuck up.
You have a gun? I wish.
- Points card? - No.
No? Take a walk.
You two, go push your shit somewhere else!
They caught us already? That was fast.
We're not doing anything!
Not you, them!
We'll pick it up tomorrow.
Hey, you left your...
Schmuck.
Guys, let's follow them!
- Those guys? - Yeah.
- Let's go. - Let's go.
- No. - Let's go.
Your lunch box, dumbshit!
This is wrong.
You're an economist, they're potential customers.
And seasoned criminals!
But they dress cool.
Eligio, please.
No, they don't.
Please, shut up, focus and let's follow them.
They'll give us a Colombian tie.
Or a Pinocchio. You know what that is?
- Do you? - When we get out,
let me do the talking and be quiet.
They cut off your dick and balls, then put your balls over your eyes
and your dick on your nose.
- They call it the deadly Pinocchio. - Shut up.
Look, they're turning.
It's dark down there.
I'm turning. Turn, turn.
Where did they go?
They gave us the slip.
What do you mean, the slip? There's no way out, where are they?
They were here and they're gone.
Motherfuckers are like Batman.
I told you! Drive.
Calm down!
I'll talk, it'll be fine.
Come on, get out.
- Good evening. - Why are you following us?
We weren't, we come to this alley every night.
- You're cops. - No.
- Homos. - No, no, no.
Good one!
Then what do you want?
We only want to do business.
They're really good.
I'm a chemist. Scientist.
Rollin' with the homies, huh? Try just a little,
fuck your shit up righteous.
Can we do bizness?
Silver or lead?
- You're nuts. - No, he's a Latin king.
Latin? Perfect, let me.
Juga caepa moveri silvarum, visaeque canes ululare per umbram.
The aeneid.
Eligio, stop. You're our first customers.
We can give you a good price. Ten Euros a pill.
Five?
Two?
Five, five is good. How many do you want?
All of them.
Perfect.
We're going to get rich.
This is the family size.
You can keep the jar.
Okay, let's do the...
- Hey! - Maybe they went to the atm.
They shot at us!
They robbed us, damn it!
No!
No, no, no...
Officer! Officer!
What are you doing?
Officer! Officer! Stop! Come back!
Officer! Officer!
Thank you, just as well...
We've been robbed.
Who? Some bastards
who call themselves the Latin kings,
but I quoted Virgil and they didn't care. Let me summarize.
We were making a commercial transaction with merchandise
which is irrelevant and they took off.
They took off and they kept it
and my partners over here witnessed...
Are those bullet holes?
Yes! Yes.
- Yes. - Uh-huh, right.
I won't say a word until my lawyer gets here.
Good morning. This is my client. Here's my card
and the diesel plus card, good at any of our stations.
We also make baguettes until midnight.
Please, give us a moment alone. Thank you.
- Thanks for coming. - I brought you this.
Wow! "Extreme."
Aside from the unnecessary use of an english word,
what does "extreme" mean? <Lntense flavor.
- How intense? - Hot going in, hot coming out.
- Irritable colon. - What happened, darling?
How are you? It was hell.
But it was only four hours.
That long? I feel like the count of montecristo.
I'm hungry, I want some churros.
Hello.
Oh, my lawyer.
- You didn't tell her... - Nothing you shouldn't have.
Relax, gentleman. He's free to go, there's nothing to worry about.
- What do we owe you? - Nothing.
- Thank you. - But I want to join the gang.
You can forget the churros.
Attorney-client confidentiality is unbreakable.
- I'll kill him. - Gentlemen,
every dealer needs a good lawyer.
How do you think chapo guzman got out of jail?
- He dug a hole. - Yeah, but his lawyer got him the shovel.
- That's not true. - It might be.
You know what is true? You're dealers and that's a police station.
Shall I go back in?
Dealers my ass. We couldn't sell half a pill.
You're right. Hey, do you know the night world?
- I do double shifts sometimes. - No, I mean the party world.
You mean when the kids come in for ice?
What will we do? We have no idea how this works.
We don't know anyone who's partied in the last 20 years.
I do.
What do you clowns want from me?
We want you to show us the night world.
Let me.
Have you read dickens? I suppose not.
Okay, well, in one of his books, "Oliver twist," "oliverio" in some Spanish translations,
a young boy, gritty but without an education, like you...
I like her.
Look, we want to learn to sell
this.
- Are they good? - Very.
We'll get rich.
- What do you mean, "us"? - I want a cut.
Listen to me, you little rat...
- Even more. - Look, she's right. It's fair.
Why don't we share?
Okay.
Look, j. There are five of us. 100 divided by 5...
- Twenty. - No.
Ten?
- Plus two? - Twelve.
- Between three? - Four.
And the derivative of the function is?
Five?
Five. Good, perfect. You get five percent.
Five? Cool.
Good, it's a deal.
Then when do we have class?
Let's go.
Hey, mikima, what's up? They're with me.
Go ahead.
What's wrong with them?
They're spaced out.
J, what do we do?
J? Look at her.
Selfie.
I'll be right back.
You want some shit?
Dope, skittles.
- What are you saying? - Pills and thrills.
Beans. Poppers. Angel hair.
Looney tunes. Scooby snacks.
Adult candy.
How much do you want?
Half a gram, half a chicken, a breast?
Are you all right, sir?
Not like that, dumbshit. Come on, move.
Wait for me here.
- Hey. - Damn, j.
- What's up, wacko. - Great, you?
I've got tabs. Yeah? Give me one. Here.
- Enjoy. - Cool, thanks.
- Already? - Yeah.
Vini, vidi, vinchi!
Actually it's “veni, vidi, vicci,” but hey.
No way. We kicked ass.
1,400, 1,500...
Put that away. Why? It's fine.
You!
Tacho wants to see you.
The thing is, we were leaving.
Sure. This way.
Or what?
Or I rip your arm off.
It's cold, let's go back in.
Tacho.
We're fucked, kids.
- Tacho? - Tacho laguna, the owner.
- You know him? - Everybody does.
He's a legend. You know why the Russians left marbella?
Because they're cheesy.
They say tacho cut off their balls. All of them.
I like my balls where they are.
- Take it easy. - Balls?
Nobody
comes to my house
to fuck me!
I'm just kidding...
You want a smoothie?
Have a smoothie, it's awesome. It has chia seeds.
With that... you can hump your baby all night.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
I know you don't need it.
You guys crack me up.
Mr. laguna...
Mr. laguna is my father.
And now he's resting in a better place.
A home in benicassim that costs me a bundle!
You guys crack me up.
Anyway... tacho... your employee said you wanted to see us.
Oh, yeah.
I saw what happened here tonight.
It won't happen again.
Don't say that, man.
Don't say that. What's your name, fuzzy face?
Pedro.
Okay, look, fuzzy face. When I opened my first nightclub in Ibiza...
This was in the year 19...
I don't remember. I had a dream...
And that dream...
Is what has guided me my whole life.
Tacho's dream
is to make people happy, and I saw what your pills do.
Very happy people.
We make them.
- Really? - Yeah, I'm a chemistry professor.
How wonderful.
- I'm an economist. - An economist.
- Philology. - Philosopher!
- And I'm a lawyer. - Lawyer.
- That's always handy. - I'm repeating high school.
Sorry to hear that. I love it. You guys crack me up.
You crack me up. I love it.
And you're the feisty one.
Nice freckles.
Listen up! I want...
I want you to sell more.
I want you to work for me.
Because...
How much does a chemistry professor like you make?
- Around... - That ain't shit!
I'll pay you ten times that.
How many pills do you need?
How many pills can you make?
As many as you want.
I love you, fuzzy face.
Another.
Thirty-six.
We're going to be rich, guys. Rich.
Hey, hey, easy with the money.
We can't spend like crazy. We have to lay low.
Then what the fuck do we want the money for?
"Carry luxury in your feelings, not in your attire."
- What? - Balzac!
Fine, but you and I will keep working at the gas station.
You're fucking kidding me!
- Sorry. - Guys, Anabel is right.
You two can quit the gas station, Arturo can quit tutoring,
j will have a future and I can take my daughters to euro Disney.
But let's be patient.
- Deal? - Verbal agreement, deal.
Deal. Deal.
- Deal. - What have you done?
It wasn't a blood pact? You're not well.
I feel dizzy.
Pedro?
- What are you doing here? - Look, angel...
No, I can see, I can see. This is a disgrace.
Angel, please don't tell anyone.
What would I say?
They're exploiting all of us.
With all your morning classes and here you are.
Working on your project at this hour.
This country treats teachers like shit!
Okay, I shit myself.
We're all going to jail.
No. We can make this not illegal. How?
Since when is it illegal to work on a scientific project?
"I hereby...
Freely and voluntarily
declare that I agree to participate in clinical tests..."
Exonerating the testers of any and all responsibility
that may derive from aforementioned tests." Okay.
- Can I have my pills now please? - Sure, sign here.
Enjoy.
Hey, what's happening, stud?
- How are you? - Fine, fine.
- Can we take a pic? - I'm with my kids.
Your dad rocks.
Okay, a quick one.
- You're the best. - Thanks a lot.
See you later. They love chemistry.
Daddy smells weird.
Yeah, not like sulfuric acid.
Don't exaggerate, I'm the same. Did you get the deposit?
Yeah, four months all at once.
Great. Anyway, I'm off to work. Have a great time.
- Kiss. Have a great time. - Okay.
You're a god, Pedro! Thanks.
- Pedro. - What's up.
- Sunday is their birthday. - I know.
How about we all celebrate together?
Count on it.
Good. Good.
Listen.
I have a surprise for you.
What are you doing?
I'm collecting money from my bitches.
My god!
Only 50 dollars? What were you doing all night, Amber?
Where did you get all this?
Don't interrupt, bitch.
Eligio!
Where did you get all this?
From my job at the gas station.
Antonio!
And your books?
Narrative has evolved.
This gives me the hero perspective in the first person.
- What's up? - Say something.
Wow, cool.
You want to try?
- Sure. - No, no.
Tell him not to spend money on this! Tell him!
It's normal for a boy his age.
- His age? - You were right.
I needed a job to get away from my books and thesis.
You're not going to finish it?
Letters are dead.
I'm a man of action now. I get to work,
everyone knows me, everyone wants to buy my...
Fuel.
You want unleaded? I'll open number 4.
Diesel? I'll open number 6.
The bathroom? Just mopped it, you have to wait.
They love me. And all thanks
to you, mom. Anyway...
Is my tupper ready? Give me five.
That's my little guy!
Duty calls.
Where are you going with that?
You don't know the night shift.
Give me that, shit for brains.
- See you later. - Bye, son.
I'm telling you, he's gotten into drugs.
Hey! Wait! Wait!
I almost missed you.
- I owe you this month. - No worries, baby.
Yes, worries. How many classes?
Four.
- Only four? I've seen you more times. - Six, yeah, six.
There you go.
Anyway, I'll get in my car...
- And I'm off. - No.
That's your car? Damn...
You teachers are doing well.
Oh, it's great.
For me, true wealth is the well being of my students.
That says a lot about you.
They deserve all the credit.
For example, teaching j is so easy.
- Really? - Totally. I never joke about that.
Look, I have a while before my next class.
We need to start thinking
about what college we send her to. The complutense isn't bad.
For a start. Because then she'll have to spend at least a year abroad.
The sorbonne is okay. Have you been to Paris?
Don't bullshit me. Will she pass or not?
Of course. She's very smart.
Arturo, I'm her mother. She's as dumb as a doornail.
I know.
But it's okay. Not everyone can be Paul krugman.
- Who? - A genius.
But I'm not either, even if I look it,
I'm not. You don't look it.
But at least you have a degree.
Yeah, because I studied my ass off.
I compensated my lack of talent with effort.
The thing is,
j... doesn't put in a lot of effort.
Because she doesn't look at who's in front of her.
Who are you talking about, you or me?
You, you.
What a nice thing to say!
Anyway, this is it.
Hey. Damn. Double cobra.
- I get the hint. - Well, don't take it too hard.
The problem is, you may have studied a lot,
but I have a master's in jerks and I spot them right away.
Wait, wait. Do you have a condom? On?
No, not on! Here, take one.
What? Wow! What is this?
- No, put those away. - Frisky!
- No, please... - What was your plan?
Nothing, I'm a cop. What?
What are you doing?
Great! How strange you didn't mention that before!
And that your daughter didn't either.
But hey, that's okay. Let's keep going.
Ouch! I pulled a muscle.
Too bad. We'll pick this up some other time.
You're really leaving? Now?
- Yeah, I'd better. - Oh, great, great.
That's just great. Okay, then.
You know where I live. Arturo! One thing.
If you don't mind,
can you shut the door on your way out?
- I feel much better. - Really?
- All gone. - I don't want to push you.
No, it's a timing injury I have.
- Comes and goes. - Great.
Cide hamete never existed. Cervantes made him up.
But what if cervantes made cervantes up?
Exactly. Who knows?
You're so smart! Where do you work?
At a gas station.
- I'm here. - Where were you?
Around, facing the dangers of the business.
Right. You were with a girl.
You know how when you meet someone and...
And you screw it up because you're scared you'll like her too much.
Yeah, the story of your life.
Well, that's exactly it. I'm scared.
Oh, you like her a lot. Bring her to the party so we can meet her.
- Party? What party? - My daughters' birthday.
Ugh, no thanks. Come.
Bring her, okay?
Of course you can sue.
If you dislocate your pelvis during working hours,
that's a work accident.
I can't move the same, look.
The crazy chicken.
I can't do it, you see? You're in bad shape.
Look, here's my card.
Hey, no, no. Don't get yourself in trouble, this isn't the time.
Okay, you're right.
Sorry, excuse me.
Sweetie, call me.
Pedro.
In two days it's the graduation party. You know what that means?
- Yeah. - It's going to be wild.
You know how much we can sell?
Dude the party is right here. Yeah.
Sorry, it's my wife. Well, my ex-wife.
- What, you still love her, right? - Yes.
Yes, I do. Look. Look how pretty she is.
Damn. You're right, she is hot.
You think she'd want to work as a gogo girl?
I'll get her some boots, up here on stage...
I'm kidding!
- I'm kidding, damn it. - Yeah, yeah.
Lately she sees me like I'm someone else.
Because you are, Pedro. You are.
You remind me of myself, I'm someone else
all the time. And when I'm someone else, I'm more me than ever.
Yeah, right. But what if she only likes... this?
Money?
No, she's not like that.
She wanted me to show some balls, and I am, but this isn't my life.
- It isn't? - No, it's temporary.
I said the same thing.
I started a degree, you know. Agricultural engineering.
No way.
- Yeah, I was good at it. - And what happened?
Well...
I'm better at this.
Before I did what was right and everything went wrong.
Now what I'm doing is wrong
and everything goes right.
Welcome to Spain, pedrito.
Mommy, mommy! Come on, get up!
Look in the backyard!
Happy birthday!
- Hi. - Hello.
- I'm the birthday mother. - Oh, great. Here.
Thank you. You are...?
Anabel, yeah.
You shouldn't have brought this.
- I didn't know you were bringing someone. - Yeah, she's...
- His lawyer. - My lawyer.
- Your lawyer? - Yeah.
I can afford one now. She's doing the divorce.
Great! That's great. How does it look?
I should talk to your lawyer. Does he work in a large firm?
Do they need people? Ask him.
Look, Arturo.
=== =a s=3sas szeees re
how are you?
- This is isa. - Nice to meet you, I'm...
Don't tell me. You're Pedro, you're Anabel, and eligio?
- He must talk a lot about us. - No, no.
Not him, j. J?
J is my daughter, she said you all help with her tutoring.
Of course.
Is j happy that you're her new daddy?
- Excuse me? - Anyway...
Arturo, can you come here a second?
How could you hook up with j's mother?
That's not even the worst part.
There's something worse than hooking up with your partner's mother?
Yes, there is. What's this?
- Silver picture frames. - We said not to spend.
Yeah, how much did the inflatable castle cost you?
It cost me 50 Euros, that gentleman rented it to me.
Miguelito! Miguelito!
- Holy shit. We're leaving! - What about your money?
Who cares? We're friends, aren't we?
Miguelito! I'm not on duty!
Miguelito mondongos, he has a record but he's nice.
On duty?
Right, isa is a police officer.
A police officer, that's great!
- Well, a detective. - You see? It can get worse.
- Did I hear detective? How exciting. - Yeah, well...
- Any cases you can tell us about? - You probably don't know about
the new pills circulating among the young people. Very dangerous.
- No idea, how would we know? - Of course not.
- Are they good? - Very good.
And it's a tough case because
- they come from a new gang. - Do you know who they are?
I can't give you that information.
Why not? Because it's confidential.
What I can say is that
you can rest easy because we're about to catch them.
- Pedro, how clumsy. - Yeah. I'll go and clean up.
I'll go and clean up.
Okay, go.
Snacks! They were snacks!
Go have dinner at your fucking house!
Mommy!
Hi!
Ii b
come in.
No, wait. I hate to say this, but...
You're late. The party is over.
And those girls over there?
You caught me.
The thing is, this is a party,
not a world salsa championship.
Bachata.
This is my family and this is my home.
So I advise you to go to your house, put on some bachata
and blow love bubbles in your fucking fish bowl!
- Understood? - Yes, yes.
What?
You said to bring her.
Yeah, but before I knew she was j's mother and a cop, you idiot.
I'm sorry, Pedro, but I really like her.
Besides, we've made a fortune. We should call it quits.
Now? You want to quit now, when things are better than ever?
What you need to do is be more careful. And a little more discreet.
Happy birthday!
A unicorn!
The unicorn has a broken leg.
No, they're all fine.
The one in the middle, it's raw flesh.
Retard.
Sorry.
They're asleep.
I think it was the happiest day of their lives.
- They had a good time. - They had an incredible time.
You're different.
Good different or bad different?
Good different.
I've been leaving my comfort zone.
You see? Good different.
Here.
What's this?
The divorce papers.
Almost.
Euro Disney?
Euro Disney!
But there are only three tickets here.
Yeah.
Where's yours?
- No, no. - No, no.
Rai Lee
no.
Wait, let me blow. Yeah...
"I'm sneaking out of the pharmacy, I'll come and see you at the university at noon."
Get out! Out!
Who are you? What do you want?
- There's a fire drill. - Oh, he came to tell us.
Risk prevention.
Okay, this formula is very simple.
The velocity of a reaction represents the speed
with which the reagents...
Gloria, already here?
Please, come in.
Come in. No, we're finished.
We're finished.
Great class. Good work, everyone.
Let's see, good. Good work. Good work.
Not you. Get your fucking act together.
Where were you, professor? You haven't come in a month.
Now you talk, dickhead.
You've confused me with someone else.
To them we all look alike.
Please.
See you tomorrow.
They come for the prestige of a Spanish university.
They're good kids, but you have to be very patient.
No, but I can tell, Pedro. You're working on your interior,
connecting with yourself in a very intense way.
- You're sweating. - Yeah, I give 100% in each class.
You know what else I've noticed?
That you're making me horny.
Pedro! Wait for me a second.
You have to go.
- Already? - Yeah, I'm really busy.
Okay, but see you tonight? Of course.
I love you. And I'm working on my interior.
How's the private sector? Making three times as much?
No, I'm making ten, twenty times more.
And I don't have to see your face.
- What the hell are you doing here? - Sightseeing.
Pedro! Hey, the other night you left this in the lab. Here.
The other night?
He works more than any other professor here.
Working himself to the bone every night at all hours, right?
He drinks.
Are you using university facilities?
Only one.
Find yourself a good lawyer.
Shit!
- Do you think he'll report you? - Guys, guys, guys.
- What if the schmuck was bluffing? - I don't know, but no lab, no pills.
What if tacho cuts off our balls like the Russians?
That's a lie.
Hello. We were told that tacho laguno is here.
What is this? T's bikram.
Yoga at 107 degrees.
Guys, over here. I think it's this way.
Tacho, excuse me.
Hey! What's up, guys?
We have a problem. We're out of merchandise.
We won't have the delivery ready.
The Dean found out we were using the lab.
No problem.
Come here, kiddies, come here.
What's the problem? Tell me.
Merino is threatening to report us.
Leave that to me.
You worry about being happy.
- Are you happy? - Yes.
Yes? - Yes.
- Are you happy? - Yes, moderately.
- Are you? - That looks like a good idea.
I love you too, kiddies. Come here.
Give me a hug, group hug.
Just be happy, leave everything to tacho.
Give me a kiss.
Hi!
Hi.
Is j here?
Is that yours?
Ibuprofen?
Don't be a schmuck. They're drugs.
Come on, those are the little balls you put
in the closet to kill moths. What are they called?
- Moth balls. - I don't know.
- Help me out. - The pills I'm investigating.
- Alcanfor. - They were under my bed!
Maybe you dropped them.
How could I be so stupid?
They're j's! They're j's!
Probably, probably.
Slow down, we have to think about what to do.
I already know, I'm going to kill her.
- I'll kill her! - Bye.
- No, you're staying. - Why?
They're not mine!
Damn. Sorry.
Look, j. You know exactly what I see in the street every day.
- Do you want to waste your life? - Don't take drugs.
Okay, pot, but that's not a drug.
Obviously my upbringing didn't work at all.
Arturo, you say something.
She respects you.
Look, j.
There's irrefutable evidence
that someone in this house has pills.
Someone, but they're not mine.
What we're trying to say is... Wait, wait.
What are you doing here?
Don't change the subject. Drugs are bad, they ruin lives.
- Please. - We'll let it go this time.
But watch out, because smoking pot leads to pills
and you end up burning aluminum foil with a lighter.
And black fingers!
You want to end up with
black fingers? No, right? There.
Yeah, but say something else, honey.
Honey?
Oh, it's late, I'd better go.
- You're fucking my mom? - Watch your mouth!
- Are you? - Well, not right now.
Are you okay?
What's wrong with you? Are you stupid?
Arturo is only trying to help you!
- Right. - Don't be unfair, j.
I know he's your tutor, but we like each other.
- I never want to see him again. - You're coming with me to the station.
- What for? - To tell me who sold her the pills.
Get moving, let's go! Jerk.
Antonio,
- come in the kitchen with me. - Yes.
Look, it's not so bad.
- Idiot. - Fool.
Totally negligent.
Look, we've lost a partner. We have to stop.
Then it's over? We have to stop?
No, we can't. It's the only thing that's worked in our lives.
- But j might talk to the police. - I told you!
Come on, they're kids. That's how they talk.
Dealing?
This brute slept with her mom and she's
a cop. I'm telling you as a lawyer,
an accomplice and human being with blood in her brain.
We're all going to jail.
Shit. It's isa.
Hi, there. Can I get through? Excuse me, sorry.
Hi. Good afternoon.
Sorry. Can I get through? Excuse me.
Sorry about that.
Oops! I spilled your cocktail. Refreshment, you're on duty. Sorry.
Can I get through? Excuse me.
Isa! What a cool place.
It's across the street from the station.
Yeah, I can see that. Anyway, you wanted to see me?
I talked to j.
- What did she say? - She told me everything.
Really? Well, you know she lies
- all the time... - Yeah.
- Did she say where the pills came from? - Yeah, finally.
Look, I'm really sorry...
Yeah, me too.
- What will you do? - What do you think?
Now that I've found them I can't let them
get away.
Look at them.
Wow! The guys selling the pills?
Yeah, j said they were Latin kings and yesterday we caught them
dealing them. Still?
What? What?
No, I mean, j is a wonderful girl.
She is. And she has a good heart.
Arturo, I called you because...
Well, the operation is going to begin and...
If something happened to me, would you take care of her?
What would happen to you?
I know, but I never had anyone to say that to until now.
And now I have you.
- Right? - Yeah, yeah.
Thanks. Stop.
Print my essay again, the page numbers are off.
Excuse me.
Hi. Hi.
Job training is the other building.
When are you going to leave Pedro alone?
Pedro who? The chemistry professor?
Did he send you?
Look, that's it. Tell him I'm calling the police.
Okay.
What, nothing to say? Well, I...
- I want this tomorrow. - Okay.
- This is what I get for trusting linkedln. - I'm sorry.
I want it corrected in my office at nine.
Are you okay?
And now?
No, no, no... no!
Come on, girls! Leave something for me!
Go in the backyard!
Good lord, they're crazy about you. I've never seen them like that.
It's normal, I used to be boring.
That's why you left me.
Not at all.
You've never lied well.
Ro us ss sieve:
I always caught you when you lied.
That's not true and you know it. Ask me anything.
- Anything. - Okay.
Have you ever been in the Amazon?
Actually, yes. A bunch of times.
It has a spectacular energy.
I made friends with a pygmy family and we still write.
By email.
You see? I can lie.
Did you hook up with the bachata king?
No.
Do you still love me?
No.
Sorry.
What's up?
Hi.
How are you, buddies?
What's wrong?
Why are you so serious?
I'm sorry, tacho... Something terrible has happened.
Oh, yeah?
Someone ran over the Dean.
Three times. Surely it was an accident, all three times.
But we have to ask.
Was it you?
Me?
Of course...
Not.
It was him.
Really, really.
You're so ugly when you're mad. Why are you mad?
Why aren't you happy?
Because we're not murderers.
Of course not, neither am I.
That's what these guys are for. It's all been invented, it's perfect.
You're crazy. We can't work for you.
Look, really, I think...
You're getting a little picky for drug dealers.
No, we're not drug dealers.
We're nerds.
- And proud of it. - Right.
I'm sorry.
We're not like you.
- We quit. - Yeah.
No, no, no.
Sorry.
Sorry, you're right.
You're right.
You're right, I went too far. Way too far.
Way, way too far.
I'm sorry. I understand why you want to leave.
It's understandable, but...
- Have a smoothie first. - Okay, I feel like one.
Yeah. Yeah.
- Tacho, you're wild. - I'm going to miss you kiddies.
- Hold him. - No, no!
What kind of shit
do you have in your brains?
You think this is a joke? You work for me now!
He's going to castrate me like the Russians!
Who wants some dick juice?
I want some dick juice.
No, stop, stop. What do you want?
Which part didn't you understand?
I thought it was clear. That's why I have your friend's little penis in my hand.
Hey, little...
I want the biggest shipment so far. I want 50 kilos!
In a few hours? It's impossible.
Okay! Yes! I'll do it! We'll do it.
Let him go.
Get out. Get out of here.
And zip up your pants.
We'll go in and tell the police he's extorting us to make pills.
Wait. One second.
What if we don't stop? What if we keep making pills?
- For a murderer. - No, for us.
We know the business, we're good at it and we're making cash.
Why would we stop?
Because he almost castrated me. I'm scared shitless.
Me too.
Face it, we can't handle tacho and we can't keep working for him.
That's the bottom line.
Hey! Wait for me!
- Gloria, what's up. - Hi, fuzzy face.
Gloria can't talk right now, would you like to leave a message?
She's much prettier in person, you know.
What do you want?
Get your friends out of the police station and start making
the fucking pills.
Now.
For the last time.
Where do you make the pills?
We don't make them.
Who's your supplier?
- Nobody! - Then it's fucking jail.
We stole the merchandise.
What? We stole it.
Good, now we're getting somewhere. From who?
Three bums we ran into.
- All yours. - I swear!
Three boring dudes. They looked like teachers.
There they are! That's them!
- Are you sure? - Yes, ma'am.
If we hurry we can have the batch ready in time.
Son of a bitch!
Merino... son of a bitch!
It's over. Say goodbye to my dick and your wife.
- Let's go to the police. - No!
We need ingredients
and I know how to get them.
- What do you want? - Can we talk?
I haven't gone near Gloria.
She still loves you.
Bachata wins again.
I'm in bad shape.
I said I'm in bad shape.
I feel awful. I'm...
I can't breathe. I feel...
- Anxious. - Okay, come in.
Thanks.
Listen up! I'm crazy! We're crazy!
I'm totally unstable!
- I'll open the register. - No!
We don't want your filthy money!
- You're junkies. - That's right!
- I'll get the methadone. - No!
Harmonium hydroxide!
That's not it. No?
- Romaine hydroxide. - That's for salads.
- You say it, smart guy. - It was a Latin root.
Pandemonium hydroxide!
- Ammonium hydroxide? - That's it, good.
And diddle weather!
- Dythyl ether. - That too. Just in case.
- Okay. - Bring it all!
Well? - Good, very believable.
Damn!
I'm fucking sick of getting robbed by junkies.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, awesome.
Here, let me see.
- Damn, eligio. - Gross!
Aim the other way, asshole!
Damn, this is disgusting!
Revenge is mine!
Semper tyrannis, motherfucker.
Fucking lame ass!
I'm okay.
Look, I'll just take some bandages and leave, okay?
Okay, we have the ingredients.
- Next step? - Find somewhere to work.
I know, my uncle's gas station.
Come on, let's go.
You think this will hold?
It will have to.
Sorry, but how are we going to make 50 kilos by ourselves?
No. We won't be alone.
Come on! Credits for everyone!
- 50 kilos. - Perfect.
Guys, we've got it!
Let's go over the plan.
The exchange will be on the roof of the night club.
We exchange the merchandise for Gloria.
- If things get ugly... - Which they will,
because isa knows it's us
and they'll catch us as soon as we go in.
That's where the master touch comes in.
I dechlorified the formula.
What does that mean?
I removed the chlorine. The active agent is inactive.
You took out the fun. Without chlorine
the pills are nothing. We made 50 kilos of placebo.
What for?
So the police can't accuse us of drug dealing.
They can only arrest tacho for kidnapping.
Police! Police!
- Honey, what a surprise. - Don't you dare.
- What a mess you guys made. - All we did was test a drug.
Here's proof, permission slips
from all of our cust... Patients.
Excuse the anglicism.
- It means fuck... - Shut up.
- Yes, ma'am. - I don't care.
I have a shipment of narcotics to charge you with.
It's placebo.
What do you mean?
Look, tacho has my wife. We came up with a plan to get her back.
Gloria, his wife. Remember, honey?
- Shut up. - Yes, ma'am.
We deliver the fake pills,
I get my wife back and you arrest tacho, the real drug dealer.
If it's placebo, what do I arrest him for, selling ground aspirin?
- Kidnapping. - And extortion.
And attempted genital blending.
And wait. There's an accounting book in his office
with all of our... his dealings.
Isa, you forget about the pills.
What any mother would do for her daughter.
And we hand you the most dangerous guy in town.
Bye.
- I'm sorry. - Yeah? For which part?
Everything.
It's my own fault.
I knew you were a jerk from the start.
I may have lied, but what I feel for you and j
is true.
There they are, the masters!
We were waiting for you.
Okay! The pills have arrived!
We haven't got anything.
This? Dirty clothes. We were at the gym.
- Go and find the accounting book. - Okay.
I've tried a lot of shit,
but yours is the best. Well, ours...
- It's tacho's. - Come on, you're my favorite dealer.
Did he say squealer? Funny nickname.
Definitely not a crime.
Can we be quiet now?
Tacho's waiting on the roof. With me.
Arturo, where are you?
I'm inside.
Get the book and get out. Don't be a hero.
I won't. I mean, I could, but it's not the time.
Shit.
Viadimir!
How are you? How are the kids?
Need tutoring? Hold on, I have
a card, I'll find it.
You're dead, motherfucker!
No!
- What are you doing here? - Celebrating.
- I passed math. - What the fuck is j doing there?
- Congratulations. - Bullshit, you guys conned me.
- I should have got 20%. - Really? I don't know what you mean.
She means for passing. Remember, my client is a teacher.
Will you shut up? Shut up.
Arturo, get j out of there. If anything happens to her I'll cut off your balls.
Hi, buddies.
And my wife?
And my pills?
Pedro!
Take it easy.
Look, he turned her into a prostitute.
I was dressed like this at home, you idiot.
Very pretty.
Here you have it.
Good shit.
- The best shit. - Thank you very much.
Thank you... You forced us to make it.
Well, this time.
This time and every time. We were working
- under duress. - What? You were loving it!
Tacho... tachete... Let's not start lying now.
I wish I could have invented something like this. You guys
are fucking geniuses. You brought me
the best pills in the world.
Oops, I spilled my coffee on the radio. Clumsy me!
Yeah, too bad. Just as well I have another more powerful one.
You guys are so stupid. We were the perfect partners.
Partners? Us, partners?
No, not partners. No, no.
What is he talking about?
We're teachers,
not ganghangers.
You're not dressed like a teacher. What do you teach,
graffiti?
This? Super comfortable.
The accounting book isn't here. We need to go.
- Did you look here? - Yeah, the first place I looked.
- Dude. - Hold on.
- What's this? - They look like eggs in brine.
Why would he keep them in a secret cabinet?
I don't know.
What is this?
It reminds me of something.
I'm going to try it.
Let's see.
These aren't eggs...
The balls of the Russians!
Gross! It's true! Tacho killed them and cut off their balls!
Mom, we have proof
that tacho's a murderer.
- We have to go in. - I'll cover you.
No fucking way.
- Don't leave me here, I'm scared. - Then keep quiet.
Out of the way, police!
Get out of the way!
Show me the pills.
Okay.
Here are the 50 kilos of pills you forced us to make
and bring to your roof of sin.
50 kilos! Damn!
- To the roof! - To the roof!
They're all yours.
We want nothing to do with this illegal activity.
It slipped. It...
Clumsy idiot.
This is to show you that we're serious.
That.
If you don't want the remaining 37.5 kilos
to end up in the water, give me back my wife.
First we're going to try
the merchandise.
- You think I'd poison you? - Of course not, darling.
I know you're much smarter than that.
Open your mouth.
It's only a pill.
It will only get you high.
Like on your trip to the Amazon, remember?
The flora, the pygmies...
Remember?
What's up, blondie?
Feeling feisty?
What are you doing?
Kill them.
- No! No! No! - Freeze, police!
You have the right to remain silent, especially my clients.
Don't move, I'll kill her!
Hold your fire, wait for my signal!
We could have been so happy together.
You should thank me.
You?
I gave you the best moments of your life.
You made more money than ever.
You partied your ass off
and you even got your little wife back.
That remains to be seen.
Let her go. I can keep making pills for you.
Fake ones like these?
They're only missing one element.
Chlorine.
Pills, pills, pills!
Mr. laguna, I'm sorry for the chaos.
These people won't bother you again.
Mr. laguna, this country is indebted to you.
How right you are, sweetheart.
Take me to Ibiza.
I want Ibiza.
Damn, he's as high as a kite.
I want to go to Ibiza!
I'm sorry.
A drug dealer, huh?
Anything else?
I lost my job, I've been partying for three months
and I robbed a pharmacy.
Your pharmacy.
Pedro, remember
what we said about your comfort zone?
It's time you go back to it.
You guys think you're smart, huh?
No, just well studied.
Tacho's under arrest for murdering 12 Russians, kidnapping and extortion.
You got what you wanted, so my clients are exonerated.
Does a robbery in a pharmacy ring a bell?
No.
Pharmacy? What pharmacy?
A witness recognized you.
There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry.
The fucking bachata king.
- How about a vis a vis? - Shut up.
Yes, ma'am.
Take them away.
What are you doing?
Careful, my wrist is fragile.
Don't worry! Justice is slow!
The best discoveries result from trial and error.
Thanks to our testing I was able to improve the formula
and now our vitamin supplement strengthens concentration
and increases memory.
And it's 100% legal.
On sale in pharmacies for 10.99.
If you have an idea, staying in the lab isn't enough.
Mingle with people, make mistakes, learn.
Go out that door and live.
Wolf. - What was your sentence?
Nothing, a heartbeat. Five years.
But we'll be out in one year for good behavior.
We're looking for partners. Anyone interested?
I'll sign you up.
Take it easy, take it easy.
I can quit whenever I want
Your lunch box, dumbshit!