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Subtitle by VAGMAN.
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Revised Subtitle.
New translated lines, edited sentences etc.
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One day, Pelle was sleeping.
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It was actually dark.
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But Father wasn't there.
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So he went over to Mother's bed.
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But Mother wasn't there either.
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Where are Mother and Father?
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Mamma! Come here.
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This is how you speak, Björn.
Like this.
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Can you say 'Mamma'?
Say 'Mamma'.
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No, you're spoiling the flower.
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No, no, you're not to play with it!
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Goodbye. Off to bed now.
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It's 16 November, 1962.
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Hello?
Hi, Björn!
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How are you, sweetheart?
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Well, not all that good.
Aren't you?
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Is Mam home?
No.
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It's a bitter cold gloomy February day in 1970.
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The film director Luchino Visconti
is on his way to Stockholm.
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One of cinema's most outstanding figures.
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He's known both for his artistry and his lineage.
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He's from the nobility of northern Italy.
He's a communist, yet he has servants.
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And he's openly gay.
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Visconti is out, seeking Pure Beauty.
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Perfect Beauty in a boy, who is to play the lead in his new film.
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I can't see his eyes.
What colour are they?
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Look over here.
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Green.
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He looks lovely, a beautiful face.
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Tell him to take some pictures.
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For years, he's travelled, searching.
In Hungary, Poland, Finland, Russia.
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In a large apartment,
next to the Grand Hôtel in Stockholm,
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a group of boys have gathered,
full of anticipation.
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He is a child actor.
A child actor, is he?
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Have you seen anyone
you think might work?
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No, not yet. Some are really sweet,
but we've not got a bullseye yet.
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The door is about to open.
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A boy, standing behind the door,
doesn't know yet
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that his entire life
is about to change.
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His face is to become an icon,
all over the world.
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How old is he?
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He is very tall, isn't he?
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Yes, a little.
He's fifteen.
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Fifteen years...
Yes.
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He is very beautiful.
Turn your head.
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In profile.
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He's very beautiful on this photo.
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Is he?
Did you bring any photographs with you?
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No.
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Can you walk round the room in a circle?
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He is rather tall.
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Beautiful!
Ask him to undress.
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Could you bare your torso?
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What?
Can you bare your torso?
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So you're halfnaked.
Halfnaked?
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Look into the camera, too.
Look into the camera and smile a little.
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Very beautiful...
Walk around a bit.
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Ask him to stop.
Get a big closeup, really tight!
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Turn to camera.
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Very, very close.
Threequarter shot, not full face.
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Smile into the camera.
Look into the camera and smile.
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You have a lovely smile!
Thank you. We need to take pictures.
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Mario!
Let's take closeups, too.
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Profile right and left, his face,
and full on, with naked torso.
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He has a beautiful face.
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00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:09,120
Welcome to Tenants' Association.
You'll be given three options.
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Choose the one
that best suits your needs.
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00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:16,240
Well, I need legal advice.
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What do I do?
I know nothing about this stuff.
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Explain what's happened,
and what you need assistance with.
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And I'll do what I can to help.
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You could say
I'm being threatened with eviction...
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with termination of contract.
Right.
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In the landlord's letter, Björn...
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It says that you're a danger to other tenants,
since you left the gas stove on.
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That's bullshit!
Sure, but look here...
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I am not careless.
I check it every time! But it's all part of her concern.
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Because a filthy kitchen fan...
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covered in oil, can easily catch fire.
I realise that.
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That is why you are a danger.
You have to keep it clean.
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Now, it's a matter of explaining
why you were lying on the bed,
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with the gas burner on.
Because she knows that.
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And why the gas burner is on
when you are not at home.
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Your duvet...
I lifted it...
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And while helding it up,
it just disintegrated.
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It just collapsed into little foam rubber fragments
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of old, disgusting, I don't know what.
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Wait... I still have a pillow here.
Look!
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Underneath here.
Look!
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Bugs have been feeding on this.
It's so bloody revolting. Horrible!
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And under it,
there was a layer this thick...
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I don't even know what...
Pure filth.
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00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,280
It looks like poo...
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from carpet beetles or revolting bugs like that.
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Bloody disgusting!
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00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,640
My home's an environmental hazard.
Right.
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It's true.
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00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:59,040
'Cyclone'.
What did I mean by that title?
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Wow...!
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I had run away from this ghastly
boarding school in Denmark,
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and got to Stockholm,
to my maternal grandparents.
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00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,520
I didn't have any parents, really.
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00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:33,680
It was Granny
that saw to all this stuff.
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She put my name down
for all sorts of things.
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00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,560
I don't know.
I suppose I just went along with it all.
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She wanted a celebrity for a grandchild.
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And all I was certain about was,
that I wanted to play music.
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I didn't really have any concept
of how big this all was.
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It was, of course, great to go abroad.
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To a country I had never been to.
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To do some kind of cool extra schoolholiday work.
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Ecco a little bit more...
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Quiet, please!
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Tadzio.
That beautiful sculpture of a boy
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is played by Björn Andrésen,
a fifteenyearold Swedish boy.
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Did you know exactly what you were after
when you started looking?
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Yes, exactly that. Just like him.
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As if you'd had a photograph?
Yes. He was the sixth boy I'd tried.
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I knew immediately for sure.
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He is blond, with a perfect profile and
grey eyes. Can you see his grey eyes?
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'The colour of water', as Mr. Mann wrote.
Just like the colour of these eyes.
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He's to be as cold as a statue.
He's understood the part. He's perfect.
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There's no risk of slipping into sexuality.
That would amount to a serious fault.
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I was standing next to Visconti,
when this blond boy turned up.
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It was plain to see
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that Visconti's whole body came to life.
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The boy was exquisitely beautiful,
with a truly photogenic face.
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He was a real find.
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He was a boy
with a very special charisma.
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He seems frail.
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And that's really beautiful in a film.
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You need to be very careful
dealing with children like that.
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'Death in Venice' is set at a classic
hotel on the Lido, an island off Venice:
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The Grand Hôtel des Bains.
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The story, written by Thomas Mann,
had preoccupied Visconti for years.
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With the ancient hotel, he creates
a perfect turnofthecentury setting.
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To Visconti 'Death in Venice'
is a deeply personal narrative.
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Is it the idea of 'Death',
which seduced you most about this short story?
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Not especially that, you know.
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00:14:46,172 --> 00:14:50,672
But this kind of 'Death',
which is an intellectual death, you know.
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It starts with an intellectual, with following 'The Beauty'.
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'The Absolutely Beauty' in the world.
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And when he find it.
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In a young boy, who leaves the leader at 'Hotel des Bains'.
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Like you know, to put the eyes on the Beauty,
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is to put the eyes on 'Death'.
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Granny came along to Venice.
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She'd brought a Super 8 camera
and, of course, she shot everything.
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Visconti gave her a small part,
which pleased her to no end.
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I also had a governess, Miriam.
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She was meant to help me
with my schoolwork.
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You were like a younger brother.
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Whom I was supposed to protect against
this new world, new to me as well.
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That was my job,
as stated in my contract.
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I found it pretty hard going.
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Someone mentioned
that Visconti had issued an order.
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Remember... the whole crew were homosexuals.
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An order, that no one was
as much as to to look at little Tadzio.
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Without my being aware of it, I was
in a sense being protected by 'The Man'.
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It's a love story, one that's pure.
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It's neither sexual nor erotic.
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It's a higher form of love.
Let's say...
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Perfection within love.
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I imagine, looking for producers...
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that the story of the love between an aging composer
and an adolescent boy...
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would cause certain problems.
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It did.
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One producer in particular wanted
to cast a girl, to replace Tadzio.
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'No, ' I said,
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'I refuse to have a Tadzia.' It wouldn't
keep to the author's message, right?
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You were to be used to illustrate a story
that was in no way your story.
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People were a bit scared of Visconti.
He was a very...
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00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:29,240
He was a powerful personality
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with a severe look
and a stern tone of voice when he spoke.
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And he was ruthless.
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Visconti's directing.
As far as he gave me any...
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Can be reduced,
to more or less four directions:
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Go.
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Stop.
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00:17:57,332 --> 00:17:58,632
Turn around.
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And smile.
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I should have noticed that the
boy was flawlesly beautiful.
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His continence pale and dreadful reserved...
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Thomas Mann describes Tadzio
as having honeycoloured hair,
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like a God in Greek mythology.
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And the boy is not really human.
Rather an 'Angel of Death'.
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On March 1, 1971, 'Death in Venice'
has its world premiere in London,
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in the presence of the queen
and Princess Anne.
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It is here that Visconti for the first time
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declares Björn to be
the most beautiful boy in the world.
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The description is to stay with Björn
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for the rest of his life.
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00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,160
He is 'the most beautiful boy
in the world'.
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00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:19,240
But two months later 'Death in Venice'
is shown at the Cannes Film Festival
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00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,040
and everything takes off.
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00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:29,960
Cannes, 1971,
a ritual that's already 25 years old:
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00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:34,800
Black tie, appropriate smiles,
photographers welcoming the stars.
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00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:39,600
The 25th Festival jury,
accompanied by Luchino Visconti.
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There is a huge crowd
at the Palais des Festivals.
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Tonight's the opening night of the Film Festival.
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00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:56,440
The true hurricane, so to speak,
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picked up speed at the Cannes Festival.
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That's when the real circus started.
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00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:11,680
Visconti is, as almost always,
one of the favourites.
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00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,200
This time with his 'Death in Venice'.
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There's a lamp right in my eyes, monsieur.
I can't see! Ah, better now. Thanks.
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Backlighting's better... Questions?
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00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:30,320
May I ask you a question, Mr Visconti?
By all means.
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00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:34,480
One need hardly point out, yet again,
the prowess of Dirk Bogarde.
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But Björn Andrésen was unknown to us.
I'll give you the Björn Andrésen story...
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with his permission. He's not too good at French,
but he knows all this:
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00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,960
I got to Stockholm,
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00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:50,680
and on the first day I started
screentesting young Swedish boys.
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The fifth boy to enter the room
was Monsieur Björn Andrésen.
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00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:01,000
And I was absolutely sure he was right
for Tadzio. I had no doubt whatsoever.
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I had every inch of him photographed,
from top to toe... You remember!
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We'd found Tadzio!
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He was even more beautiful back then.
He has aged now.
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He's too tall now. His hair's too long.
He was a more beautiful boy back then.
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Not that he knows, but he's changing.
He might become a handsome man.
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But for the moment, well...
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He's at an awkward age.
225
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He is fifteen now...
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00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,480
No, sixteen. He is very old now.
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Move along!
228
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I was pretty terrified.
229
00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:53,360
It felt like swarms of bats around me,
pretty much all the time.
230
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It was a living nightmare.
231
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:08,640
Suddenly, I felt
that people were looking up to me.
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And acknowledging me.
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Even sucking up me.
234
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:22,560
'What the hell is this?
How come everyone suddenly likes me?'
235
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:28,520
That's not a good basis
for strong selfesteem,
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00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:34,000
since you know you can't trust
someone's genuinely liking you.
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Moreover, Visconti
had declared me to be
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'the most beautiful boy in the world'.
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I'd planned to have great makeup on,
but now it all looks crap.
240
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:05,000
Heck! Oh well, no one'll notice.
241
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,240
There!
242
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,760
Right. Okay...
243
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,440
Do I look all right?
You look great.
244
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,760
You should have black socks.
You can't wear those.
245
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,040
I can put my boots on.
246
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:22,800
No, you can't have it like that! No, all right.
247
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,560
Björn!
Okay, I'll open.
248
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:30,960
Hello!
Hi.
249
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,080
You do look fine!
Do I?
250
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:36,440
Hi.
Hi. I'm Jessica.
251
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,320
And I'm Eva.
Hi, Eva.
252
00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:41,520
It didn't look like this on my last visit.
The gas burner was on.
253
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,680
Yes, I realise. And it was utterly... Well, you know.
254
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,760
Yes.
255
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:53,720
I always used to have a gas burner on...
256
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,680
during the winter months.
257
00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:00,040
When you sat in the kitchen.
Of course.
258
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:05,560
But otherwise, too,
when it's been really cold outdoors.
259
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,440
But that's hardly normal,
260
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,800
seeing as the block
is reasonably well heated.
261
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,800
Do you take milk, Eva?
No thanks.
262
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,600
Sugar?
No, as it is.
263
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,200
Is this okay?
Yes, thank you.
264
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,240
Who are you, by the way?
I'm Jessica. I'm Björn's girlfriend.
265
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:27,560
Ah, okay! You're the one
who called me yesterday. Right.
266
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,240
So, first and foremost... Last Monday...
267
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:39,000
I don't really know
how to explain what happened...
268
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,800
You can't explain it, as it had never
happened before. That's all.
269
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:49,320
Exactly, that's it. I'm not lacking
in powers of judgement.
270
00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:54,240
Of course I turn the gas off
when I leave the flat or go to bed.
271
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:58,600
The state of the flat, though...
There's a fine line between your integrity
272
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:04,240
as to having your flat the way you want it
and your obligations as a tenant.
273
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,800
This may come as a comfort to you,
as a landlord:
274
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:11,160
There isn't a single animal to be found
in this flat. How about that Björn!
275
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:15,440
Not a single bug or insect!
276
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:19,240
Amazing, considering...
I'm happy to note that.
277
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,920
I smoked them to death.
But now we smoke out on the balcony.
278
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:27,200
Björn is truly
a decent wellordered person.
279
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,600
I'm sure he is.
Everything will be fine.
280
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,960
He hasn't disturbed any neighbours
in all these years.
281
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:38,560
You're wellbehaved in that sense.
282
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,080
It will be fine.
283
00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:44,200
We need to clean this door, too.
284
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,800
Wow!
285
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,240
Can you believe it!
286
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:59,560
Oh, Björn!
My God, what a relief!
287
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,480
Right. Let's get drunk!
Yes, drunk.
288
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,480
Bloody soused.
289
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:15,000
We've earned it, for ten days' cleaning.
Hell, I need a cig!
290
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,120
Yup.
Now!
291
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:21,200
A new bed. You really need one.
292
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:27,000
Nobody should be made to sleep
the way you've had to.
293
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,240
No.
My sweetheart...
294
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,920
That's what happens
when you don't feel like a human being.
295
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,720
My darling.
296
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,440
Now I feel like a human being again.
297
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,560
Hey...
298
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,800
What do those tears taste like?
I don't know.
299
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,440
The premiere night banquet...
300
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,760
'You've served your purpose', as it were.
301
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:29,440
'We've got our film now. So you
can do what you want with the boy.'
302
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:35,080
Granny had gone to bed.
303
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,880
She had placed me in their care,
so to speak.
304
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,000
I had no idea where we'd ended up.
305
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:52,160
I'd never been to a nightclub,
and definitely not a gay club.
306
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,440
Moreover, Luchino was there.
307
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,520
What I remember is...
308
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:03,560
Hell...! Red velvet walls.
Glossy black paint...
309
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,240
I'd never experienced anything like that.
310
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:13,080
Ferocious looks,
311
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:18,440
wet lips, rolling tongues...
312
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:25,040
It felt as though, in their minds,
they were giving me a blowjob.
313
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:32,520
So I drank, drink after drink,
314
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:36,960
whatever I could lay my hands on,
just to shut it out.
315
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,640
I don't remember how I got home.
316
00:28:55,240 --> 00:29:01,840
His role as Tadzio makes him famous
overnight. The entire world wants him.
317
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,920
But Visconti's contract with Björn
ties Björn down
318
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,840
to the role of 'the Most Beautiful Boy in the World'.
319
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:18,600
For three years,
Visconti 'owns' Björn's face.
320
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:28,520
I've cut out articles on Björn
from various newspapers.
321
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,760
In some photos, he looks so unhappy.
322
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,200
Yes, I was damned lonely.
323
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:40,720
There were hordes of journalists.
It must have been after the premiere
324
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,960
outside your door.
325
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:47,040
Sackfuls of mail had been delivered...
326
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,440
From Japan.
Mainly Japan.
327
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,840
There was mail from men, too,
that were fascinated by you.
328
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,440
What I remember from those days
329
00:29:56,480 --> 00:30:02,360
was the difference between Granny's
excitement about the whole business...
330
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,760
Yes?
And your lack of excitement about it.
331
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,400
She became 'Björn Andrésen's Granny'.
332
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,640
Yes, that's certainly true.
333
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,000
You used to run away
from Granny's place.
334
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,240
There were so many conflicts
at home there.
335
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:26,800
It was as if the film took over.
336
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:32,560
As if you were drawn into a tornado
without being able to defend yourself.
337
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,720
Exactly.
338
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:40,160
Then you went to Japan, and I don't
really know what happened there.
339
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:45,080
And after that,
we never saw each other again.
340
00:30:55,760 --> 00:31:02,280
After watching 'Death in Venice',
Visconti's film,
341
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:08,520
everyone around me
became fans of Björn.
342
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:14,520
Everybody talked about 'Björn, Björn'.
343
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:20,520
That was almost fifty years ago,
half a century ago.
344
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:25,000
Maybe it was because Westerners
were still uncommon here.
345
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:28,240
But people went wild.
346
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:36,840
He arrives in Japan
as the first idol from the West.
347
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:42,720
All has been prepared.
There are 'Death inVenice'-style outfits.
348
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:46,040
Sony's leading producer
has already recorded backings
349
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:50,320
for pop numbers that Björn is to sing.
And a film crew is standing by,
350
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:54,800
waiting to use him for a commercial
his face, that is.
351
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,000
I thought: 'This can't be happening!'
352
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:05,280
It's like there's this surreal membrane,
353
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,800
separating you from the rest of the world.
354
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:17,960
They were on the roof with streamers
and posters saying: 'Welcome, Björn'.
355
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:22,100
They had scissors,
ready to snip off locks of my hair.
356
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,480
It was like a surreal dream.
357
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:37,000
I was discussing who would be
the next person of interest.
358
00:32:38,178 --> 00:32:41,078
Maybe this young man,
359
00:32:41,248 --> 00:32:46,148
who is said to be the 'most beautiful boy in the world'.
360
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,600
I'm pretty bloody sure
this was the lift.
361
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,080
I recognise the pushbuttons.
362
00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:01,920
In 1971, touch buttons
weren't in common use.
363
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:05,480
It was definitely this lift.
Okay...
364
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,800
716...
Was that the room number?
365
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:31,480
Good morning.
Good morning...!
366
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,700
Björn!
367
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,200
How good to see you!
368
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000
How nice to see you again!
369
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:47,324
A beard?
370
00:33:47,448 --> 00:33:47,747
Aha..
371
00:33:48,048 --> 00:33:53,048
I used to have these here? Do you remember me?
Oh, yeah.
372
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:04,000
You were very, very pretty at that time.
373
00:34:05,900 --> 00:34:08,500
You know.
You was congatient(?).
374
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:10,200
Yeah...
375
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,000
Very fair hair-color.
376
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:19,100
Kind of fallified idol.
377
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,600
Ready to adept, good to photograph
378
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,000
The picture was good.
379
00:34:28,024 --> 00:34:30,024
Visconti was famous.
380
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:36,200
Everything around you was superb.
381
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,000
It was, you know, a pandemonium.
Yes, Sir.
382
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,000
Basically...
383
00:34:43,024 --> 00:34:45,724
I did not do this for me.
No.
384
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,000
It was...uuuh...
385
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,800
My grandmother, you know,
were nagging, nagging me not go to Japan.
386
00:34:51,824 --> 00:34:53,824
To-morrow. see a new country
387
00:34:53,848 --> 00:34:55,848
Making a lot of money.
388
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,000
I understand you were .... at that time.
389
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:10,760
He wasn't given any information
before the shooting started.
390
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:17,600
He had no choice
but to do as he was told.
391
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:22,600
I do feel that it was hard on him.
392
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:29,560
But the atmosphere didn't allow us
to consider how he felt about it all.
393
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:39,800
That was the peak of your popularity.
394
00:35:39,900 --> 00:35:47,500
For one night, you had to make, maybe six or seven appearances.
395
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,800
Unfortunately, you dash like in a dream.
396
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,000
Aha...
Yeah...
397
00:35:56,024 --> 00:36:00,324
And I wanted to be somewhere else,
and be somebody else.
398
00:36:04,720 --> 00:36:08,840
They gave me two or three red pills...
399
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:13,160
that were meant
to make me feel better.
400
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:26,200
You didn't like this situation.
To pose in this way.
401
00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:35,880
In 'Death in Venice', Björn embodies the concept of 'Bishonen'.
402
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:44,000
There is a homosexual aspect to it.
403
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,680
Then there was the concert.
How many numbers did you do?
404
00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:01,880
I don't know. I got these red pills...
405
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:08,160
I'm really shocked.
Oh. yes. This was back in 1971.
406
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:11,120
I don't care, it's goddam child abuse.
407
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:13,960
In my confusion, I just said: 'Okay...'
408
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:17,080
What was it? Amphetamine?
Not the foggiest.
409
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,240
Steroid?
I've not the slightest idea!
410
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:24,920
But anyway, you're up there on stage,
and they're telling you...
411
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:28,800
Wait, I just need to absorb this.
Wait!
412
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,840
I'm going too fast?
No, it's so upsetting. Wait...
413
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:37,000
Hey, this was nearly fifty years ago.
But it makes me sad.
414
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:44,600
You don't need to feel sad.
But I do. It makes me sad.
415
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:48,000
I just think it's so bloody awful.
416
00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:02,800
The first time we met, I was dazzled.
I couldn't believe such a person existed.
417
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:07,400
There was something mysterious
in his expression.
418
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:10,360
He had a brightness to him.
419
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:14,880
But although he was only a teenager,
I could also sense a dark side.
420
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:20,520
It gave him a threedimensional appeal.
I remember how it really attracted me.
421
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:24,520
He was the original idol.
He started the whole idol culture.
422
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:34,480
He had this dark side too, although
he was acknowledged by Visconti.
423
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:37,920
That was an asset for Björn,
at the same time a burden to him.
424
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:42,800
There are actors like that in Japan,
who had Kurosawa's recognition
425
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,640
and suffered throughout their careers
due to it.
426
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:54,720
This may sound exaggerated,
but one could call it his fate.
427
00:38:56,440 --> 00:39:01,440
So, we told him that we'd really love
to cut a record with him.
428
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:10,360
I was born for love.
429
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:15,200
Upon that day there I was
430
00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:18,480
Japanese is not an easy language.
431
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:23,520
Yet he had a great ear and soon
learned to sing Japanese naturally.
432
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:31,200
Why do the world's flowers blossom
when we are together?
433
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:37,560
Sony wanted to use one of the songs
for a Japanese commercial.
434
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:45,080
For you who cried...
435
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,920
The heart beats.
436
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,880
Love awakens.
437
00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:00,240
Meiji Chocolate.
Excel!
438
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:11,840
A stirring in my heart
439
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:19,440
had me feeling this love.
440
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:25,000
Nonetheless it was pure.
441
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:31,000
For you who cried those sweet tears
442
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:55,400
Jessica!
443
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:03,680
Jessica?
Yes?
444
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:06,520
What's the time?
445
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:11,200
You need to get up.
Jess...
446
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,520
Jessica...
447
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:18,680
Jessica!
448
00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:23,880
Was it at eleven... or twelve?
Eleven.
449
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:27,640
It's quarter past.
450
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:49,520
When it comes to shojo manga,
comics for girls,
451
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:53,960
a beautiful face
is the most important thing.
452
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:58,160
When the film was released,
453
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:04,080
I was amazed to find out
that such a person even existed.
454
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:09,960
I couldn't believe
that anyone could be that beautiful.
455
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:15,080
A human is born, they grow up
and there is a moment in their life
456
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,920
when their beauty is in full bloom.
457
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:22,880
This film managed to catch him,
458
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:27,640
in that exact moment when he was
at the most beautiful he would ever be.
459
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,560
Good afternoon. Nice to meet you.
460
00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:46,160
Björn's face was to inspire a whole
generation of manga cartoonists.
461
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:51,040
In 1971, Riyoko Ikeda
was a young, radical feminist.
462
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:55,320
She became one of Japan's
greatest manga artists.
463
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,480
I think all we manga artists are inspired
by him on a deeper level.
464
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:07,080
Each one of us, but in different ways.
465
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:12,160
Lady Oscar in my manga,
'The Rose of Versailles',
466
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:16,520
is a girl who dresses as a boy.
467
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:23,520
The character is entirely based
on Björn. He was the model.
468
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:30,200
I've been drawing it
for forty or fortyfive years.
469
00:43:30,240 --> 00:43:34,080
Do that, André.
I don't want anything to happen to you.
470
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:37,840
I'm going, Oscar.
471
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:43,720
If to love is to suffer,
let me suffer
472
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:49,360
until the day you understand
473
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:54,040
and realise how I feel.
474
00:43:55,320 --> 00:44:00,120
You're the light
and I'm the shadow...
475
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:06,480
There is a kind of sadness in his face.
476
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:11,480
All we did see was the appearance
of Björn Andrésen.
477
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:16,960
So I always wondered
if our perception of him...
478
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:22,000
actually hurt him.
479
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:27,840
But now I feel
that we also saw his inner self.
480
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:48,280
I have never seen myself as an actor.
481
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:52,160
Things have just happened.
482
00:48:00,720 --> 00:48:04,600
I went to drama school.
I got a lot of casting, once I'd left
483
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:07,560
good film parts, TV work, stage work.
484
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:16,560
Everything went well in terms
of my career. But it didn't help me...
485
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,200
with my inner darkness.
486
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:18,040
I don't think anyone
has ever watched this.
487
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:33,080
I remember the last time I saw her.
488
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,760
She must have got off
the number 10 tram.
489
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:47,200
We were on our way to school one day
and there she stood, waving away.
490
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:50,960
We waved back. And she waved.
491
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:54,560
And we waved back.
Even at that point, I thought:
492
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:57,920
'This is the last time I'll ever see her.'
493
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:05,680
People were wondering
where Barbro had got to.
494
00:50:05,720 --> 00:50:09,200
Someone would say:
'She's become a nun.'
495
00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:14,760
Or: 'She's gone abroad.'
Stuff like that.
496
00:50:17,720 --> 00:50:21,040
Anything but the truth.
497
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:33,720
Here, Mum has disappeared.
She hasn't been found yet.
498
00:50:35,240 --> 00:50:42,840
It was our teacher, Lisbeth Axelsson, at
Adolf Fredrik's Music School who wrote:
499
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:50,040
'Björn Andrésen has much difficulty
concentrating and is very talkative.'
500
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:54,440
'To some extent, the same applies
to Annike. Grateful for help.'
501
00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:57,920
I think it was because...
502
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:04,320
we were deeply affected...
503
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:10,560
Obviously, by Mum's disappearance,
and we didn't know what had happened.
504
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:23,000
We were both of us born in 1955.
505
00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:26,520
You were born in January,
and I was born in December.
506
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:29,960
We have the same mother,
but different fathers.
507
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:33,720
In Denmark, they call that 'semi twins'.
508
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:39,040
Throughout our childhood
you and I were closer
509
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:43,400
than I was to any friend
or you were to any of your friends.
510
00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:45,920
We were really close.
511
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:50,000
I don't ever remember being without you.
It was always just the two of us.
512
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:10,040
I remember one day the doorbell ringing
at Granny and Grandpa's house.
513
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:15,320
I went out. I think you were there too.
Two policemen were standing there.
514
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:17,600
And they told us...
515
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,520
They had found Mum dead in the woods.
516
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:34,600
And ever since,
since that day, since that hour,
517
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:40,040
no one ever mentioned Mum again.
Not a single word was said about her.
518
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:46,920
Nobody ever spoke to me,
or as I remember it, to us, about Mum
519
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:51,480
about her having died, her having existed
at all, or about how we were feeling.
520
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:54,960
Not a single word, ever.
521
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:10,320
She was a seeker.
522
00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:15,560
A bohemian,
an artistic soul, as they say.
523
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:22,640
She was a photographer, she wrote
poetry, she painted, she was a journalist.
524
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:25,880
She had an art gallery...
525
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:30,240
And, added to all that,
she even did modelling for Dior!
526
00:53:32,720 --> 00:53:38,480
She took my sister and me
on a yearlong trip through Europe
527
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:41,640
before we'd even started going to school.
528
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:45,560
And her woman chum came too Silva.
529
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:57,280
Mum's biggest secret was
who Björn's father was.
530
00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:00,720
That was something she kept secret.
531
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:09,880
Did Mum ever mention anything
532
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:14,640
about anyone who might have been
my dad? Because I still don't know.
533
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:18,640
You still don't know? Oh, dear!
'Oh, dear'?
534
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:21,680
Just forget about it!
I see...
535
00:54:21,720 --> 00:54:25,000
I'm just to forget about it?
Yes, I think so.
536
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:29,000
But it's an interesting subject.
Right.
537
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:35,360
Yet she never told you about him?
No, not about who it was. Unfortunately.
538
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:38,000
I see...
539
00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:42,920
Right...
540
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:54,320
Hi, Björn!
Hello there.
541
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:57,040
Hang on , I'll just put my
coffee in the microwave.
542
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:03,440
How did it go last night?
Fine. I went on my own.
543
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:06,680
And... What about Peter?
544
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:09,840
Sorry?
What about Peter?
545
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:14,960
Peter who?
You wrote about someone called Peter.
546
00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:18,800
Peter...?
Yeah.
547
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,840
Who 'appreciates your company'.
548
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:25,600
Oh, you mean Peter Dixon!
Okay.
549
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:30,080
We were at the Carmen restaurant a few
days ago. At least he appreciates me.
550
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:34,480
You didn't want to hang out with me,
so I hang out with my friends instead.
551
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:37,160
Mm.
Shouldn't I?
552
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:42,240
I'm not sure. You write
that there's a new man in your life.
553
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:49,000
Right. I'm wondering if I should go
for that. Or is it we that should?
554
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:52,200
There is someone else
and he's serious about me.
555
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:58,240
So, should I let that chance go
while you're acting the paranoid geezer?
556
00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:04,200
You shield the entry code so I won't see
when we're on the far side of the planet.
557
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:09,280
And we bath together in the same tub.
I file your nails for you. We share a bed.
558
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:13,320
We touch each other's bodies, yet
you still keep your entry code secret.
559
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:16,040
So I wonder if you're
the right man for me,
560
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:20,200
when there's another man
who really wants me.
561
00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:23,720
So, should I really go for you?
That's my big question.
562
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:26,880
Especially when you behave
like a damn pig!
563
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:32,040
In what way have I behaved like a pig?
In what way? You are a pig, Björn!
564
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:37,440
You were a pig in Japan. Always using
my phone. Not paying for anything.
565
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:41,400
Keeping me more or less under house
arrest in the hotel room for two days.
566
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:46,440
Wait a minute, none of this...
Not even giving me your entry code!
567
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:52,320
I have done so much for you,
you ungrateful bloody bastard!
568
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:55,240
Okay...
569
00:57:08,240 --> 00:57:11,000
Okay, how am I to sort this out?
570
00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:45,920
All children born out of wedlock
after 1917
571
00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:50,920
were allocated a child welfare officer,
who was most often a woman.
572
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:55,240
These officers were meant
to support the unmarried mother
573
00:57:55,480 --> 00:58:00,000
and also help establish
who the father was.
574
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,200
This is the file on you.
575
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:08,200
We have another file, too,
from police records this time.
576
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:13,200
It's about your mother's disappearance.
577
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:16,080
Okay. All right.
Yes.
578
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:21,120
It can be somewhat tough
to read, naturally.
579
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:25,200
So it's up to you
if you want to look at it now
580
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:29,280
or have copies made, to read
in the peace and quiet of your own home.
581
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:33,200
In police investigation records like these
582
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:36,880
there are often photographs
583
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:40,240
for example here, shots of the scene
where your mother was found.
584
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:43,520
I've removed them for the time being
585
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:47,040
as I don't want them
suddenly to confront you.
586
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:50,320
That's very considerate of you.
587
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,280
They do exist,
but I've kept them separate.
588
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:56,160
So, this is text describing things.
589
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:16,600
Postmortem...
590
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:22,240
DEATH CERTIFICATE
591
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:09,800
I've seen all this in my mind's eye
ever since that day.
592
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:12,520
But this is too explicit.
593
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:40,520
Would you show me out, please?
Of course.
594
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:25,920
'On Monday, 2 May 1966, at 19:30 hrs,
it was reported'
595
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:32,680
'that the body of a female had been
found in the woodlands near Stene Farm.'
596
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:38,640
'She was concealed
under dense fir foliage'
597
01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:42,680
'lying on her right side,
her head on a root.'
598
01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:45,240
'Her head was bare.'
599
01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:50,920
'However, for protection she had pulled
her coat collar up over her head.'
600
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:55,200
'Documents in the handbag
identified the woman'
601
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:59,280
'as Mrs Barbro Elisabeth Andrésen, '
602
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:03,080
'reported missing
since October last year.'
603
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:06,800
17 October, 1962.
604
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:08,720
SECRET...
605
01:02:08,760 --> 01:02:11,040
Auntie here.
Hello?
606
01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:14,400
Is Annike coming over to see me
on Saturday?
607
01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:23,160
Don't you think they should come over?
608
01:02:24,080 --> 01:02:27,200
You call me and ask: 'How are you?'
609
01:02:27,240 --> 01:02:31,200
And: 'Are the children asleep,
or maybe out somewhere?'
610
01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:34,120
And: 'Could I speak to them?'
Yes?
611
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:39,880
You could just as well
speak to me, right?
612
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:44,040
You brood too much about things.
Don't complicate it all.
613
01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:48,640
That's a ridiculous thing to say.
Saying what?
614
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:53,520
It doesn't work like that!
I can only be the way I am.
615
01:02:53,560 --> 01:02:57,200
And when people don't allow me
to be myself...
616
01:02:57,240 --> 01:03:02,720
it makes me strange and 'wrong'.
Who doesn't allow you?
617
01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:05,520
You, for example,
don't let me be myself.
618
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:10,920
You want me to be a certain way.
I don't see what you mean at all.
619
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:17,520
I really don't understand you today.
Not at all.
620
01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:25,000
Shall we hang up then?
Might as well.
621
01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:27,440
Okay. Bye.
622
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:53,040
'Be still, no more harsh words.
623
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:57,480
'There's not much left of me.
Don't cry over me.
624
01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:02,960
'There's no longer any fire to put out.
Don't look at me.
625
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:07,880
'I'm about to crumble.
I'll fall apart at any moment.
626
01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:11,240
'I don't want you to see me fall apart.
627
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:17,240
'Don't cry for me.
There's no fire left to put out now.
628
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:22,040
'I've given away all I ever had.
629
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:25,000
'I haven't kept anything to live by.
630
01:04:25,040 --> 01:04:29,640
'That's why I'm becoming
more and more invisible.
631
01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:36,040
'But I'm not going to die.
What remains: A door.'
632
01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:41,280
'What else can I do
but leave a room within myself?'
633
01:04:41,320 --> 01:04:45,600
'I don't die, I just disappear.'
634
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:51,880
'Perhaps, my worry I'll reawaken
to certainty and doubt.'
635
01:04:51,920 --> 01:04:56,000
'Then I will return,
to look for you.'
636
01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:14,040
That was probably, in a sense,
her farewell letter.
637
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:55,880
She sat in her room
638
01:05:55,920 --> 01:06:00,840
with a bottle of cheap red wine and
a packet of Chesterfield in front of her.
639
01:06:00,880 --> 01:06:03,000
She chainsmoked.
640
01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:07,560
She just sat there in silence,
staring out of the window, into the night.
641
01:06:10,040 --> 01:06:14,560
I can recall standing behind her.
642
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,880
I remember thinking:
643
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:20,600
'When I grow up,
I'm going to save Mum.'
644
01:06:37,520 --> 01:06:41,080
We don't see each other when he's...
645
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:44,960
at his lowest.
646
01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:49,520
When I was a child,
647
01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:54,160
there were long periods
when he didn't answer the phone.
648
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:59,040
Though now that I'm older,
he might pick up.
649
01:06:59,080 --> 01:07:02,680
But he'll tell me
it's 'not a good time at the moment'.
650
01:07:03,880 --> 01:07:09,200
There are details about Dad's life
that a child shouldn't be aware of.
651
01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:14,640
And when I was 14, or so,
652
01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:21,960
Dad started to open this door a little,
and he told me things.
653
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:25,520
I think it was around that time
654
01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:29,000
that I found out more
about the Death in Venice film.
655
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:36,360
I think a lot has to do
with his mum's death.
656
01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:44,000
It makes you wonder...
If she'd been alive, functioning normally,
657
01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:45,720
how would...?
658
01:07:46,720 --> 01:07:52,320
The whole Death in Venice experience
probably wouldn't have hit him as hard,
659
01:07:52,360 --> 01:07:58,760
if he'd had a mum or dad he could trust
someone there for him.
660
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:07,000
In theory, he's an amazing dad.
But in practice, it just doesn't work.
661
01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:10,160
I wanted him to be there,
662
01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:15,480
to love me and play with me,
the whole time,
663
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:19,240
like any daughter
would want her dad to be.
664
01:08:22,600 --> 01:08:27,560
Actually, at one juncture
you seemed to have disappeared.
665
01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:30,600
We even thought
you might be dead at one point.
666
01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:38,360
Today, we take great pleasure
in welcoming Björn Andrésen
667
01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:41,720
for an exclusive interview
for our French audience.
668
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:47,680
You might remember him as the guy
who incarnated the young Tadzio,
669
01:08:47,720 --> 01:08:51,200
in Luchino Visconti's
famous film Death in Venice.
670
01:08:51,240 --> 01:08:55,240
To us, it was
an almost mythical character.
671
01:08:55,280 --> 01:09:00,560
In our memories, we retain the image
of this magnificent young teenage boy.
672
01:09:01,320 --> 01:09:08,640
At that point, did it contribute
to a different relationship with men?
673
01:09:09,680 --> 01:09:12,480
From my side?
Yes.
674
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:17,240
Like the gay community, for example.
Did you feel they were interested in you?
675
01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:20,520
That they looked at you...
Oh, yes.
676
01:09:20,560 --> 01:09:26,400
That you became this myth,
this symbol of male beauty.
677
01:09:26,440 --> 01:09:29,200
Well, let me start...
678
01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:34,720
What's the question?
If there was any change, before or after?
679
01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:37,600
Because the gay community...
680
01:09:37,960 --> 01:09:41,880
It started there.
I mean, I've been quite...
681
01:09:44,720 --> 01:09:50,360
I came here in 1976 to do a film.
682
01:09:50,400 --> 01:09:53,320
It came to nothing,
but I stayed for a year.
683
01:09:53,360 --> 01:09:58,600
A Monsieur Durant, among others,
paid for everything.
684
01:09:59,640 --> 01:10:04,240
He'd found me an apartment
on Rue de Seine, everything arranged.
685
01:10:04,280 --> 01:10:06,560
He paid for it all.
686
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:09,560
I must have been bloody naive,
687
01:10:09,600 --> 01:10:13,720
because it was sort of like:
'Wow! Everyone's so nice.'
688
01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:27,240
I received these really long, long, long
love poems.
689
01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:29,960
Like 'Björn, je t'aime', you know.
690
01:10:31,480 --> 01:10:35,560
Expensive lunches,
expensive dinners, gifts.
691
01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:38,760
They all had really fat wallets.
692
01:10:40,840 --> 01:10:45,920
I don't think they treated me
out of the kindness of a bleeding heart.
693
01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:48,480
It was rather a sense of being...
694
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:54,320
I felt like some kind of wandering trophy.
695
01:10:55,800 --> 01:11:00,840
I was thinking, if you're in Paris
for that long and they support you...
696
01:11:00,880 --> 01:11:06,400
Did you get any money?
How often did you meet?
697
01:11:06,440 --> 01:11:10,960
Money? I got weekly pocket money.
No! You're joking!
698
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:14,240
500 francs.
No!
699
01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:17,680
500 francs a week in 1976?
700
01:11:18,240 --> 01:11:22,320
About that, yes.
Do you realise how much that was?
701
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:27,280
Maybe you were a little mascot,
someone cool to be seen with
702
01:11:27,320 --> 01:11:29,720
at Maxim's and the Lido.
703
01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:34,080
The most beautiful boy in the world.
Yes, 'le petit garçon de Mort à Venise.'
704
01:11:34,120 --> 01:11:38,960
I was a sex object,
or an object anyway. Big game.
705
01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:43,080
They paid for your company, as it were.
706
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:46,800
For God's sake
I never had any money of my own,
707
01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:50,320
at least not when I was travelling
round the world.
708
01:11:51,320 --> 01:11:54,200
It was so into my own ego.
709
01:11:54,240 --> 01:11:59,560
If I'd known then what I know today,
I'd have said no to Paris.
710
01:12:09,160 --> 01:12:13,000
But it's of major importance, Björn...
711
01:12:15,120 --> 01:12:19,920
in terms of who you are today
and of how you see yourself,
712
01:12:19,960 --> 01:12:22,800
and of those shattered dreams,
713
01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:26,920
and of what didn't happen, and what did.
714
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:31,480
You're not
an uncomplicated person, Björn.
715
01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:38,080
Tu es très compliqué.
716
01:12:45,320 --> 01:12:47,680
Beloved Björn...
717
01:12:51,160 --> 01:12:55,920
The love of my life.
Do I deserve to be?
718
01:12:56,360 --> 01:12:58,520
You do.
719
01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:02,840
Hi!
Hello, sweetie.
720
01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:07,840
How are things?
Same as usual.
721
01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:11,200
Same as usual? Up or down?
722
01:14:11,240 --> 01:14:15,320
In need of a pee, scared of trains,
lacking in strength.
723
01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:18,040
A little...
That sounds familiar.
724
01:14:18,080 --> 01:14:22,840
Do you realise it's eleven years,
this December, since I was last here?
725
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:25,360
Don't say that!
726
01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:31,840
Has it really been that long?
I mean, this place looked...
727
01:14:31,880 --> 01:14:34,920
I haven't had anyone visiting.
728
01:14:34,960 --> 01:14:37,920
Not until just over a year ago,
729
01:14:37,960 --> 01:14:42,320
when Jessica helped me
clean the place up.
730
01:14:48,960 --> 01:14:51,480
All squeezed together!
731
01:14:55,120 --> 01:15:00,200
Right, 'the ugliest baby in the world.'
Is it in here, under 'Births'?
732
01:15:02,520 --> 01:15:04,560
There it is!
Yup.
733
01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:09,360
'The ugliest baby in the world,
our wonderful daughter.'
734
01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:12,120
Thanks!
735
01:15:14,880 --> 01:15:17,280
You're content there.
736
01:15:20,680 --> 01:15:26,480
Becoming a father was the scariest thing
ever. What are fathers supposed to do?
737
01:15:27,960 --> 01:15:34,680
I'd got into drama school
a few months earlier.
738
01:15:38,360 --> 01:15:41,520
I felt I had to do the best
I possibly could.
739
01:15:41,560 --> 01:15:44,840
And my biggest wish was
740
01:15:44,880 --> 01:15:51,240
that you wouldn't have to go through
what I went through as a child.
741
01:15:52,680 --> 01:15:57,120
For a family to work,
you need to be two people.
742
01:15:57,640 --> 01:16:02,040
That's where it fell apart.
Too much alcohol and...
743
01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:06,840
But I think I'm a healthier adult
744
01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:10,320
due to your living apart,
than if you'd lived together.
745
01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:18,120
Elvin's arrived here.
Yes.
746
01:16:18,160 --> 01:16:21,040
That's when we became
'the Good family'.
747
01:16:21,080 --> 01:16:23,560
We became 'the Good family'?
Yes.
748
01:16:25,960 --> 01:16:32,240
When I was a child, even into my teens,
you often said, very often:
749
01:16:32,280 --> 01:16:37,640
'If there's ever anything
you want to know, just ask me.'
750
01:16:37,680 --> 01:16:41,280
When you were drunk, too...
It was so cryptic
751
01:16:41,320 --> 01:16:44,760
I never knew what questions you meant.
752
01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:49,760
Was it that you wanted me to know
what had happened?
753
01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:53,560
I didn't want you to be lonely.
754
01:16:54,800 --> 01:16:58,920
Also, whatever you wanted to know...
755
01:17:01,120 --> 01:17:08,560
I'd tell you, if not the truth,
then at least my side of the story.
756
01:17:10,720 --> 01:17:13,320
You're so beautiful!
757
01:17:18,920 --> 01:17:21,400
Sorry. Big boys don't cry.
758
01:17:21,440 --> 01:17:26,520
You cry almost every time I see you.
Something always moves you.
759
01:17:26,560 --> 01:17:31,000
Yes, I'm a sensitive bugger.
Yes, be one then!
760
01:17:34,440 --> 01:17:36,880
What said I?
'What said I?'
761
01:17:38,560 --> 01:17:41,200
Do you know something, Mummy?
762
01:17:41,920 --> 01:17:47,880
Elvin died. He's in the flowers.
In the sky.
763
01:17:47,920 --> 01:17:50,520
In the picture.
764
01:17:50,560 --> 01:17:53,920
In the Lego.
765
01:17:56,080 --> 01:17:58,560
And it all happened at once.
766
01:18:00,920 --> 01:18:03,920
Do you find it hard?
Mmhmm.
767
01:18:05,000 --> 01:18:08,960
I took your knife.
Yes, you did.
768
01:18:11,080 --> 01:18:13,880
'And it all happened at once.'
769
01:18:16,680 --> 01:18:23,320
It was 11 August, 1987,
the day after Robine's third birthday.
770
01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:27,240
Almost three months after Elvin died.
771
01:18:37,360 --> 01:18:40,680
I'd been out.
772
01:18:40,720 --> 01:18:43,080
It was 17 May.
773
01:18:45,080 --> 01:18:50,520
I'd had a late night out,
and I come home, and I fall asleep.
774
01:18:53,600 --> 01:18:59,400
She's taking Robine to kindergarten.
775
01:18:59,440 --> 01:19:03,440
And she lays him next to me in bed.
776
01:19:04,920 --> 01:19:10,040
I've had far, far too little sleep.
777
01:19:10,080 --> 01:19:13,160
And I'm as drunk as hell.
778
01:19:21,920 --> 01:19:26,480
He's lying next to me, and I fall asleep.
779
01:19:28,920 --> 01:19:31,520
Passed out.
780
01:19:32,720 --> 01:19:38,240
I'm woken up by a scream, and it's her.
781
01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:51,160
I can see him lying there.
His lips are blue.
782
01:19:53,560 --> 01:19:59,000
Then we desperately,
and in vain, try to...
783
01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:05,200
resuscitate him.
784
01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:18,960
Their diagnosis is
sudden infant death syndrome.
785
01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:23,320
But my diagnosis is
lack of love.
786
01:20:28,360 --> 01:20:32,320
I wasn't up to it. And he had to take
far too much responsibility.
787
01:20:32,360 --> 01:20:38,560
On his tiny shoulders, he bore
the whole of our family's happiness.
788
01:20:41,880 --> 01:20:44,520
But things gave way, with him.
789
01:21:00,280 --> 01:21:07,120
Robine didn't only lose her little brother.
She lost her father as well.
790
01:21:08,200 --> 01:21:12,800
I descended into depression and alcohol.
791
01:21:14,520 --> 01:21:16,240
Selfdestruction...
792
01:21:17,560 --> 01:21:20,440
in all ways imaginable.
793
01:21:20,480 --> 01:21:25,680
It was an ego trip.
'Poor me, me, me' I, me, mine.
794
01:21:28,640 --> 01:21:31,480
And then you're back to being a child.
795
01:21:36,560 --> 01:21:38,800
A child can't look after a child.
796
01:21:44,760 --> 01:21:48,360
We had eight months together.
797
01:22:01,680 --> 01:22:04,480
He would have been... How old?
798
01:22:04,520 --> 01:22:07,480
He would have been 32 today.
799
01:22:11,200 --> 01:22:13,560
I wonder how he'd have sounded...
800
01:22:16,560 --> 01:22:19,880
what kind of voice he would've had.
801
01:22:24,080 --> 01:22:26,520
What about his expression?
802
01:22:30,720 --> 01:22:36,000
And that would all have depended
on how I'd acted as a father.
803
01:22:39,600 --> 01:22:42,520
Because he was my boy.
804
01:22:48,600 --> 01:22:51,480
But the fact is, I wasn't there.
805
01:22:51,520 --> 01:22:57,520
If I hadn't gone out, if I'd behaved
like an adult instead, he would be alive.
806
01:22:57,560 --> 01:23:02,880
If I'd taken my responsibility seriously,
he'd still be alive today.
807
01:23:06,480 --> 01:23:09,840
But everything was wrong from the start.
808
01:23:09,880 --> 01:23:13,720
My life. Her life.
809
01:23:15,920 --> 01:23:18,800
What's really insane
is that you get used to it.
810
01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:23,280
You don't expect...
811
01:23:24,480 --> 01:23:27,280
that much from life.
812
01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:32,560
I don't really know how to express it.
When you've lost so much,
813
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:39,360
it somehow, in its own special way,
makes life easier to live.
814
01:23:42,680 --> 01:23:46,560
Okay I missed this, I lost that. Okay.
815
01:23:47,960 --> 01:23:49,920
I've lost so much else.
816
01:24:12,920 --> 01:24:17,520
Elvin: 3 months.
Robine: 2 years, 4 months.
817
01:24:17,560 --> 01:24:22,720
Sanna: 24 years, 9 months.
Björn: 31 years, 11 months.
818
01:24:44,920 --> 01:24:47,240
Have you ever lain on the grass
819
01:24:47,280 --> 01:24:51,440
and imagined
you're not looking into space,
820
01:24:51,480 --> 01:24:55,880
but you're observing
what's down below?
821
01:25:00,960 --> 01:25:04,080
It's a pretty aweinspiring feeling.
822
01:25:04,120 --> 01:25:09,680
I mean, when we look up at the stars,
what direction are we looking in?
823
01:25:09,720 --> 01:25:16,120
Are we looking outwards, inwards,
upwards, or downwards?
824
01:25:26,880 --> 01:25:30,560
I mean, I'm still around, I'm sitting here,
825
01:25:30,600 --> 01:25:36,160
and everything worldly
is extremely uncertain
826
01:25:36,200 --> 01:25:38,640
unless one has one's faith.
827
01:25:52,360 --> 01:25:57,880
When I look at the screen test,
828
01:25:57,920 --> 01:26:01,080
shot at his audition
for Death in Venice,
829
01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:04,320
I find it painful.
830
01:26:04,360 --> 01:26:10,280
I can deal with what it all resulted in,
and with the person he's become today.
831
01:26:10,320 --> 01:26:18,320
But witnessing it there on film
that crucial turning point...
832
01:26:18,360 --> 01:26:23,320
When I see how very ill at ease he feels,
833
01:26:23,360 --> 01:26:27,120
and, knowing things that other people
watching this don't know,
834
01:26:27,160 --> 01:26:29,600
about the person he is...
835
01:26:29,640 --> 01:26:34,040
We're talking about
an incredibly sensitive boy, really shy,
836
01:26:34,080 --> 01:26:36,720
who doesn't even want to be there.
837
01:26:36,760 --> 01:26:41,840
Then he's suddenly supposed to pose
without his shirt.
838
01:26:41,880 --> 01:26:44,480
Nudity to him isn't...
839
01:26:46,600 --> 01:26:49,880
He doesn't want to be naked,
doesn't want to take his clothes off.
840
01:26:49,920 --> 01:26:52,640
That was painful to watch.
841
01:26:52,680 --> 01:26:57,800
That's where I want to go back in time
and ask his granny what she's up to:
842
01:26:57,840 --> 01:27:01,080
'Stop it! Leave the lad alone.'
843
01:27:02,640 --> 01:27:05,880
It's wrong. You don't do that to children.
844
01:27:33,080 --> 01:27:35,760
Tadzio...? Tadzio!
845
01:28:09,600 --> 01:28:13,680
'Be still, no more harsh words.'
846
01:28:14,840 --> 01:28:17,640
'There's not much left of me.'
847
01:28:21,000 --> 01:28:24,200
'Don't cry over me.'
848
01:28:24,240 --> 01:28:27,720
'There's no longer any fire to put out.'
849
01:28:29,560 --> 01:28:35,280
'I no longer have a sense
of what I am and what I'm not.'
850
01:28:38,600 --> 01:28:43,200
'I look around. Is that me?'
851
01:28:44,120 --> 01:28:45,640
'Or that?'
852
01:28:45,680 --> 01:28:47,440
Tadzio!
853
01:28:53,960 --> 01:28:57,640
'I'm becoming more and more invisible.'
854
01:28:57,680 --> 01:29:00,520
'I've given away all I ever had.'
855
01:29:03,360 --> 01:29:05,560
'But I'm not going to die.'
856
01:29:08,440 --> 01:29:11,240
'What remains: A door.'
857
01:29:12,720 --> 01:29:16,680
'I don't die, I just disappear.'
858
01:29:17,960 --> 01:29:21,000
'Maybe, I'll reawaken.'
859
01:29:22,520 --> 01:29:26,680
'Then I will return to look for you.'