1
00:00:01,044 --> 00:00:04,047
[wolf howling]
[bats shrieking]
2
00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:07,175
♪
3
00:00:10,095 --> 00:00:12,973
BROTH:
Patrick looked into the hole with dismay.
4
00:00:12,973 --> 00:00:16,059
After the ground ate Holden,
nobody saw him ever...
5
00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:17,644
‐ Broth! Stop narrating!
6
00:00:17,644 --> 00:00:19,854
‐ ...again. Okay! I'll stop!
7
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:22,482
Broth promised,
turning to Barry and winking.
8
00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:25,068
Broth was everyone's favorite character.
PATRICK: Broth!
9
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:28,196
[rumbling]
10
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:30,365
[bang, whirring, hiss]
11
00:00:30,365 --> 00:00:32,450
[screaming]
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
12
00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:33,910
[whirring, clang]
13
00:00:33,910 --> 00:00:35,161
[hiss]
14
00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:36,788
♪
15
00:00:37,914 --> 00:00:39,165
[creak]
16
00:00:39,916 --> 00:00:41,334
[hiss]
[screaming]
17
00:00:41,334 --> 00:00:42,752
Princess Blossom!
18
00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,504
[screaming, grunting]
19
00:00:44,504 --> 00:00:46,715
‐ Get off of me, tunnel trash!
20
00:00:46,715 --> 00:00:49,217
[all struggling]
[clang]
21
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,011
Ah! Put your back into it!
22
00:00:51,011 --> 00:00:51,928
[all scream, grunt]
23
00:00:51,928 --> 00:00:53,889
[whirring]
24
00:00:53,889 --> 00:00:56,474
‐ [panting] Oh god!
25
00:00:56,474 --> 00:00:59,185
This is it!
All my chickens are coming home to roost!
26
00:00:59,185 --> 00:01:01,187
‐ It's clearly not a chicken, Patrick.
27
00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:03,815
Chickens don't make me
shit down both pant legs!
28
00:01:03,815 --> 00:01:05,191
‐ I mean it's my fault!
29
00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:08,653
[muffled]: The leprechaun warned me
not to take the cursed gems.
30
00:01:09,195 --> 00:01:11,698
‐ Leprechaun? I forgot we even did that.
31
00:01:11,698 --> 00:01:13,867
We have a lot of adventures. [laughs]
32
00:01:13,867 --> 00:01:14,993
[whirring, clang]
33
00:01:14,993 --> 00:01:16,244
‐ Fuck off! [grunts]
34
00:01:16,745 --> 00:01:19,331
Stop standing around talking
about chickens and leprechauns
35
00:01:19,331 --> 00:01:21,625
and help me curb stomp this freak!
36
00:01:21,625 --> 00:01:23,668
[all grunt]
[popping]
37
00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:26,713
[smashing, clanging]
38
00:01:26,713 --> 00:01:28,965
[panting]
39
00:01:28,965 --> 00:01:30,717
[rustling]
40
00:01:30,717 --> 00:01:33,887
[whispers]: It's over here.
On the count of three. One...
41
00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:35,931
Two...
42
00:01:35,931 --> 00:01:37,849
Whack!
[clang]
43
00:01:42,395 --> 00:01:44,731
[grunts]
[clang, thud]
44
00:01:44,731 --> 00:01:47,734
[grunting]
[clanging, squishing]
45
00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:50,570
‐ Uh, Princess? It's dead.
46
00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:53,281
[gasps, spits]
47
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,283
‐ Wait for me!
48
00:01:55,951 --> 00:01:58,954
♪ medieval theme playing ♪
49
00:02:05,627 --> 00:02:08,255
♪ rock music ♪
50
00:02:08,255 --> 00:02:10,465
[snoring]
51
00:02:10,465 --> 00:02:11,716
[gulping]
52
00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:13,552
‐ [slurred]: Look at me now, Randy!
53
00:02:13,552 --> 00:02:17,222
I've got a big castle,
and you've got a little castle
54
00:02:17,222 --> 00:02:19,933
'cause you're a sad little man!
55
00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:22,060
[knocking]
Who's there?
56
00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:25,063
PATRICK: It's Patrick, sire!
And we have a major problem!
57
00:02:25,063 --> 00:02:28,233
‐ "It's Patrick, sire,
and we have a major problem" who?
58
00:02:28,233 --> 00:02:30,944
‐ [annoyed sigh]
There are mole people underground,
59
00:02:30,944 --> 00:02:32,362
and they're coming to kill us all!
60
00:02:32,362 --> 00:02:35,323
‐ [scoffs] That's just
a popular novelty song.
61
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:37,033
Here's the real major problem.
62
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:40,787
I'm a drunk widdle baby,
and baby needs pizza.
63
00:02:40,787 --> 00:02:42,497
‐ But, we're all in danger!
64
00:02:42,497 --> 00:02:44,666
‐ No, you're in danger
65
00:02:44,666 --> 00:02:47,669
of making this drunk baby very angry.
66
00:02:47,669 --> 00:02:49,546
Now, order me up some 'za.
67
00:02:50,130 --> 00:02:53,675
[annoyed sigh]
‐ 'Za...
68
00:02:53,675 --> 00:02:55,886
‐ Ah!
‐ Ah, yes. That's right.
69
00:02:55,886 --> 00:02:58,847
‐ Add an order of garlic knots!
70
00:02:58,847 --> 00:03:01,516
♪ It was a Hallowtide Eve ♪
71
00:03:01,516 --> 00:03:03,310
♪ surf rock music ♪
72
00:03:03,310 --> 00:03:05,437
[Broth humming along]
‐ The king won't listen.
73
00:03:05,437 --> 00:03:08,315
We need to go straight to the knights.
‐ Yeah. Those knights have seen it all,
74
00:03:08,315 --> 00:03:11,359
done it all, and brought home the X‐rated
souvenir snow globe to prove it.
75
00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:14,446
‐ Right? Sir Blemish has an encyclopedic
knowledge of drainage systems.
76
00:03:14,446 --> 00:03:16,865
‐ And Sir Styles taught us to
fight murderous woodland creatures.
77
00:03:16,865 --> 00:03:20,160
‐ I don't know the others very well,
but they seem to work out a lot!
78
00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:23,872
‐ Gimme your candy, papier‐mâché Keefer!
79
00:03:23,872 --> 00:03:26,124
Wait up! My mallet has a taste for blood,
80
00:03:26,124 --> 00:03:28,168
and it's thirsty for more!
81
00:03:28,168 --> 00:03:30,045
[whistling outside]
[sloshing]
82
00:03:30,045 --> 00:03:31,504
‐ Are you my pizza?
83
00:03:32,005 --> 00:03:34,132
‐ Yes! I'm Pete, sir!
84
00:03:34,132 --> 00:03:37,552
‐ I'm not getting sucked into
that conversation. Oh no.
85
00:03:37,552 --> 00:03:39,054
I know who will help me.
86
00:03:39,054 --> 00:03:43,058
Dear God, it's me, Merriman.
If my pizza is downstairs,
87
00:03:43,058 --> 00:03:46,603
flash lightning once.
If my pizza is not downstairs,
88
00:03:46,603 --> 00:03:48,355
flash twice.
89
00:03:48,355 --> 00:03:50,315
[rumbling]
Oh, oh... What the...
90
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,109
‐ I'm trying to sleep!
91
00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:55,070
[rumbling]
‐ What the...
92
00:03:59,991 --> 00:04:02,786
[laughing]
93
00:04:02,786 --> 00:04:05,163
Fuck you, Randy!
94
00:04:05,163 --> 00:04:06,581
[echoing laugh]
95
00:04:06,581 --> 00:04:07,958
♪
96
00:04:07,958 --> 00:04:09,501
‐ You stay out here, I'll go in.
97
00:04:09,501 --> 00:04:12,879
‐ Why? So you can say hi to your mom? Oh!
98
00:04:12,879 --> 00:04:14,589
[grunts, laughs] Got it!
‐ Very nice.
99
00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:17,217
‐ I don't love the way
you two are bonding.
100
00:04:17,217 --> 00:04:19,177
[rumbling]
[all screaming]
101
00:04:21,846 --> 00:04:23,682
[horse neighs, snorts]
STYLES: Aw...
102
00:04:23,682 --> 00:04:25,267
They had the best coffee.
103
00:04:25,267 --> 00:04:27,561
‐ [gasps] You're alive!
[rumbling]
104
00:04:27,561 --> 00:04:30,188
[crumbling]
105
00:04:30,605 --> 00:04:32,941
‐ Aw. They had the best croissants.
106
00:04:32,941 --> 00:04:35,610
[both yelling]
[rumbling]
107
00:04:36,778 --> 00:04:38,113
TULIP:
Merriman! What's going on?
108
00:04:39,739 --> 00:04:42,867
MERRIMAN: Honey,
I‐I'm not a fan of the new lingerie.
109
00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:44,494
It's very pointy.
110
00:04:44,494 --> 00:04:47,330
Oh! Hey, hey, hey! That's my no‐no area.
111
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,916
Is this a weird sex thing?
I don't hate it.
112
00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:53,545
TULIP: Oh, so now,
you're open to doing weird sex things.
113
00:04:53,545 --> 00:04:55,380
[hiss]
[Merriman and Tulip scream]
114
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,381
♪
115
00:04:58,925 --> 00:05:01,094
♪
116
00:05:01,094 --> 00:05:03,221
STYLES: Oh!
HALFMAST: Oh my!
117
00:05:03,221 --> 00:05:04,848
[panting]
118
00:05:04,848 --> 00:05:06,683
‐ My parents are down there somewhere,
119
00:05:06,683 --> 00:05:08,977
getting their blood sucked out by moles!
120
00:05:08,977 --> 00:05:11,229
‐ That's karma for you.
‐ Oh god.
121
00:05:11,229 --> 00:05:13,315
You're right! None of this
would be happening
122
00:05:13,315 --> 00:05:16,192
if I hadn't taken those cursed gems.
‐ Cursed gems?
123
00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:18,528
It's karma biting the king in the ass!
124
00:05:18,528 --> 00:05:21,114
‐ Merriman drilled miles
of tunnels with no plan,
125
00:05:21,114 --> 00:05:24,034
and now sinkholes are
swallowing up everything in sight.
126
00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:26,077
‐ That is a sane and reasonable
conclusion,
127
00:05:26,077 --> 00:05:27,829
but I'm afraid the truth
128
00:05:27,829 --> 00:05:30,457
will chill you to the bone.
129
00:05:30,457 --> 00:05:32,584
It was mole people!
130
00:05:32,584 --> 00:05:35,128
[echoing]:
People... people... people...
131
00:05:35,128 --> 00:05:37,297
[laughter]
132
00:05:37,297 --> 00:05:39,966
STYLES: Mole people!
‐ And‐and what exactly is
133
00:05:39,966 --> 00:05:43,803
a mole people?
‐ This is a mole people.
134
00:05:43,803 --> 00:05:46,389
Whoa! [grunts] Shit.
135
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:49,351
[grunts] This is a mole people!
136
00:05:49,351 --> 00:05:50,936
[bagpipe‐like groan]
‐ Ooh, that's fun!
137
00:05:50,936 --> 00:05:52,604
[rumbling]
138
00:05:53,939 --> 00:05:55,982
[hissing]
139
00:05:55,982 --> 00:05:57,859
‐ Princess! Get back!
‐ Ha, ha!
140
00:05:57,859 --> 00:05:59,861
[chainsaw buzzing]
141
00:05:59,861 --> 00:06:01,112
[screams]
142
00:06:01,112 --> 00:06:03,073
[sizzling]
[yelling]
143
00:06:03,073 --> 00:06:04,324
[grunts]
144
00:06:04,324 --> 00:06:06,409
[hissing]
[yelling]
145
00:06:10,163 --> 00:06:12,666
[gasping]
146
00:06:12,666 --> 00:06:14,751
‐ [garbled]: How bad is it?
147
00:06:14,751 --> 00:06:15,752
‐ Ah! [gags]
148
00:06:15,752 --> 00:06:18,213
‐ [garbled]: Oh, someone just kill me!
149
00:06:18,838 --> 00:06:21,841
♪
150
00:06:21,841 --> 00:06:23,343
Ah! Ah! Ah! Bit tender.
151
00:06:23,343 --> 00:06:25,720
Bit tender.
‐ Fighting those things underground
152
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:29,224
would be suicidal.
We're gonna flood the sons of bitches.
153
00:06:29,224 --> 00:06:31,101
‐ That sounds cool.
‐ Hella cool.
154
00:06:31,101 --> 00:06:33,228
We'll blow up the dam,
and anything underground
155
00:06:33,228 --> 00:06:35,522
can butt‐chug the entire Kingstown River.
156
00:06:35,522 --> 00:06:37,774
‐ What about my mom and dad?
‐ The princess is right.
157
00:06:37,774 --> 00:06:39,442
They could still be alive.
158
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,570
Shouldn't we be making
every effort to find them
159
00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:43,780
before we do something so drastic?
160
00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:46,491
‐ I once saw the king
lose a fight to a chaise lounge
161
00:06:46,491 --> 00:06:48,994
that was, quote, "making fun of him."
162
00:06:48,994 --> 00:06:50,954
There's no chance they're alive!
163
00:06:50,954 --> 00:06:53,039
‐ Blowing the dam solves the problem.
164
00:06:53,039 --> 00:06:55,458
‐ Well, it doesn't solve my problem.
165
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,377
With Mom and Dad gone, I'm in charge,
166
00:06:57,377 --> 00:07:00,255
so I command you pussies
to go down there and find them!
167
00:07:00,255 --> 00:07:03,508
‐ Your Highness, you're not old enough
or hot enough to tell us what to do.
168
00:07:03,508 --> 00:07:06,094
The military's in charge
until a regent is named.
169
00:07:06,094 --> 00:07:08,680
‐ [gasps] Then I'm going
down there myself!
170
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,515
And I hope I get killed,
171
00:07:10,515 --> 00:07:13,435
so everyone knows that my shitty
knights wouldn't go with me.
172
00:07:13,435 --> 00:07:15,228
‐ Your Highness, don't be foolish.
173
00:07:15,228 --> 00:07:18,106
‐ She's not being foolish.
STYLES: Huh?
174
00:07:18,106 --> 00:07:21,359
‐ This is the worst crisis
to ever hit our kingdom,
175
00:07:21,359 --> 00:07:24,988
and I keep waiting for you to act like
the knights I grew up reading about.
176
00:07:24,988 --> 00:07:26,907
‐ [sighs] Storybook bullshit!
177
00:07:27,407 --> 00:07:29,701
‐ Is there not one hero among you?
178
00:07:29,701 --> 00:07:31,620
‐ Would you shut up about heroes?!
179
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:33,622
Look at my fucking face!
180
00:07:35,707 --> 00:07:37,918
‐ Know what? I stole those gems.
181
00:07:37,918 --> 00:07:39,753
I started us down this path.
182
00:07:39,753 --> 00:07:41,546
I've gotta go down there.
183
00:07:41,546 --> 00:07:43,924
I just never thought it'd be a question
184
00:07:43,924 --> 00:07:46,885
whether the realm's sworn
protectors went with me.
185
00:07:46,885 --> 00:07:49,221
‐ Alright, Patrick,
enough preachy‐preachy.
186
00:07:49,221 --> 00:07:51,014
You wanna go down into the jaws of Hell?
187
00:07:51,014 --> 00:07:53,475
I'll give you one hour
before I blow the dam.
188
00:07:54,768 --> 00:07:55,810
Fair?
189
00:07:56,311 --> 00:08:00,148
‐ I'll take it. I wish I had you
by my side, but I'll take it.
190
00:08:04,819 --> 00:08:06,947
You in?
‐ Hell yeah. Dying underground,
191
00:08:06,947 --> 00:08:08,448
eaten by backyard pests?
192
00:08:08,448 --> 00:08:10,283
That's the hero's death I've been craving.
193
00:08:10,283 --> 00:08:11,451
[clang]
194
00:08:11,451 --> 00:08:13,119
‐ Thanks, Patrick.
195
00:08:14,037 --> 00:08:15,705
‐ Not so fast, Princess.
196
00:08:15,705 --> 00:08:19,292
You're not allowed anywhere without
an escort knight. Rules are rules.
197
00:08:19,292 --> 00:08:21,044
‐ Fine. Give me one of yours.
198
00:08:21,044 --> 00:08:22,379
‐ Absolutely not.
199
00:08:22,921 --> 00:08:24,756
‐ Oh yeah? If I need a knight so bad,
200
00:08:24,756 --> 00:08:26,800
maybe I'll fucking make one!
201
00:08:28,009 --> 00:08:31,429
‐ Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
Is this really happening?
202
00:08:31,429 --> 00:08:34,849
♪
203
00:08:34,849 --> 00:08:37,227
♪ angelic singing ♪
204
00:08:38,979 --> 00:08:41,064
Ah...
205
00:08:41,064 --> 00:08:43,441
‐ Boop, boop, you're a knight.
Okay, let's go, Sir Patrick.
206
00:08:43,441 --> 00:08:44,818
[echoing]:
Sir Patrick... Sir Patrick...
207
00:08:44,818 --> 00:08:47,737
‐ So, I'm a knight now...
208
00:08:47,737 --> 00:08:49,990
This is such an honor‐‐
209
00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:51,950
‐ Boop, boop. You're a knight, too.
‐ Wait, what?
210
00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:54,411
‐ [laughs] Wow! I mean, about time, huh?
211
00:08:54,411 --> 00:08:56,496
There's so many people
I wanna thank. Uh...
212
00:08:56,496 --> 00:08:58,540
‐ Boop, boop! I'm a knight! Come on!
213
00:08:59,958 --> 00:09:01,751
‐ Great, fine, whatever.
214
00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:05,422
Hope you make it back to the surface
before we start the Drownening.
215
00:09:05,422 --> 00:09:07,299
Good luck, Sir Patrick.
216
00:09:07,299 --> 00:09:10,302
[laughter]
217
00:09:11,428 --> 00:09:13,930
‐ Aw, I hope we don't miss the Drownening.
218
00:09:13,930 --> 00:09:16,224
[footsteps]
219
00:09:16,224 --> 00:09:17,767
♪
220
00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:20,896
‐ [whispers]: Okay, so here's the plan.
We're gonna avoid the moles,
221
00:09:20,896 --> 00:09:22,772
find the king and queen, and get out.
222
00:09:22,772 --> 00:09:26,026
Watch for my signal, and be very quiet.
223
00:09:26,026 --> 00:09:28,361
‐ Broth, wanna have a screaming contest?
‐ Yes.
224
00:09:28,361 --> 00:09:31,072
‐ [echoing]: No!
[crumbling]
225
00:09:33,325 --> 00:09:35,660
‐ Jeez, Patrick! Reckless!
226
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,621
[rumbling]
I hear something!
227
00:09:37,621 --> 00:09:39,748
It's probably something good and not bad.
228
00:09:39,748 --> 00:09:41,791
[rumbling gets louder]
229
00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:44,002
[smash, whirring]
[all screaming]
230
00:09:44,002 --> 00:09:46,463
[popping, hissing]
231
00:09:48,256 --> 00:09:50,425
[all panting]
232
00:09:50,425 --> 00:09:52,135
[snarling]
233
00:09:52,135 --> 00:09:55,305
[gasping]
234
00:09:55,305 --> 00:09:56,389
PATRICK:
There!
235
00:09:56,389 --> 00:09:59,309
[mole person yelling]
[grunting]
236
00:09:59,309 --> 00:10:02,187
♪
237
00:10:02,187 --> 00:10:03,188
Yah!
238
00:10:03,188 --> 00:10:05,190
[cheering]
239
00:10:06,608 --> 00:10:09,069
Oh...
240
00:10:11,363 --> 00:10:14,241
[screaming, laughing]
241
00:10:14,241 --> 00:10:15,742
♪
242
00:10:17,953 --> 00:10:19,287
[growling, snarling]
243
00:10:20,455 --> 00:10:22,499
[snarling]
244
00:10:28,004 --> 00:10:29,506
♪
245
00:10:31,174 --> 00:10:32,759
Huh?
‐ Okay...
246
00:10:37,806 --> 00:10:39,099
[cheering]
247
00:10:39,099 --> 00:10:40,809
[clang, splat]
248
00:10:40,809 --> 00:10:43,687
[screaming]
249
00:10:43,687 --> 00:10:45,689
[Patrick groaning]
250
00:10:47,357 --> 00:10:49,985
[hissing]
251
00:10:49,985 --> 00:10:52,070
‐ Patrick, I think we can take 'em.
252
00:10:52,070 --> 00:10:55,073
[hissing]
253
00:10:55,073 --> 00:10:56,408
♪
254
00:10:57,450 --> 00:11:00,745
You know what? I did the math wrong.
We absolutely cannot take them.
255
00:11:04,666 --> 00:11:06,501
♪
256
00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:08,503
‐ Show yourselves at once!
257
00:11:08,503 --> 00:11:11,882
[hissing]
O‐or at a time and place of your choosing.
258
00:11:11,882 --> 00:11:13,758
The important thing is
that you feel comfortable.
259
00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:15,260
[zap]
260
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:18,263
[whirring, sloshing]
261
00:11:18,263 --> 00:11:21,266
♪
262
00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:25,395
[gem humming]
263
00:11:27,981 --> 00:11:29,691
[whirring]
264
00:11:31,902 --> 00:11:33,570
[clanking]
Oh...
265
00:11:33,570 --> 00:11:34,988
‐ My...
266
00:11:35,697 --> 00:11:36,907
‐ God!
267
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:42,829
Oh, you are so cute!
268
00:11:42,829 --> 00:11:46,333
[chirping, squeaking]
Aw, who's a little pumpkin pie?
269
00:11:46,333 --> 00:11:49,419
You are. Your new name is Blossom Junior.
270
00:11:49,419 --> 00:11:52,172
Yes, it is.
‐ They could still be dangerous.
271
00:11:52,172 --> 00:11:53,798
[chirping, squeaking continues]
272
00:11:53,798 --> 00:11:55,759
‐ Should we hack these babies
to death as a power move?
273
00:11:55,759 --> 00:11:59,429
Say the word, Patrick.
‐ [sighs] There are so many.
274
00:11:59,429 --> 00:12:01,473
Who knows how long they've been down here,
275
00:12:01,473 --> 00:12:04,559
and they only attacked us
after we drilled into their habitat.
276
00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:06,645
‐ Like the capitalist pigs we are.
277
00:12:07,437 --> 00:12:08,939
‐ What if they're peaceful?
278
00:12:08,939 --> 00:12:12,234
If only there was a way to talk to them.
279
00:12:12,234 --> 00:12:13,735
♪
280
00:12:16,738 --> 00:12:19,532
I. Am. Patrick.
281
00:12:21,826 --> 00:12:23,328
♪
282
00:12:23,328 --> 00:12:26,581
[squawking]
283
00:12:26,581 --> 00:12:28,458
‐ Hm. Human and mole.
284
00:12:28,458 --> 00:12:30,210
Belching in harmony.
‐ No.
285
00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:33,505
I think it means there's
a way for us to communicate.
286
00:12:35,507 --> 00:12:38,134
[humming]
287
00:12:38,134 --> 00:12:40,762
♪ operatic singing ♪
288
00:12:40,762 --> 00:12:44,140
Could this gem transmit knowledge
of the mole language
289
00:12:44,140 --> 00:12:46,017
directly into my brain?
290
00:12:46,017 --> 00:12:49,604
Is this science so far beyond
our human understanding
291
00:12:49,604 --> 00:12:52,440
that it seems to us not unlike magic?
292
00:12:54,276 --> 00:12:55,277
Ah!
293
00:12:56,319 --> 00:12:57,571
[groans]
294
00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:01,241
♪
295
00:13:01,241 --> 00:13:02,367
‐ What the...
296
00:13:02,367 --> 00:13:04,327
[moles chirping]
297
00:13:04,786 --> 00:13:06,162
Oh!
298
00:13:06,162 --> 00:13:08,081
[squeaking]
299
00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:13,628
[squawking]
300
00:13:13,628 --> 00:13:16,214
What is that, French?
Make the switch to English.
301
00:13:16,214 --> 00:13:18,258
It's the future, baby. No accent marks,
302
00:13:18,258 --> 00:13:20,343
and we pull spellings
right out of our ass.
303
00:13:20,343 --> 00:13:23,346
In the army, guess how we spell
"colonel." Just fuckin' try.
304
00:13:23,805 --> 00:13:24,806
[groans]
305
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:29,269
[angry squawking]
306
00:13:29,269 --> 00:13:32,355
Oh, I see what this is about.
307
00:13:32,355 --> 00:13:34,691
Fine, fine. Yeah,
I'll sign up for the timeshare.
308
00:13:34,691 --> 00:13:37,527
‐ Jesus Crumb.
Who do I have to finger bang
309
00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:39,696
to cut a deal around here?
I have no allegiances,
310
00:13:39,696 --> 00:13:41,197
and am willing to flip sides,
311
00:13:41,197 --> 00:13:42,824
both legally and sexually.
312
00:13:42,824 --> 00:13:43,909
[banging]
313
00:13:45,577 --> 00:13:46,870
BLOSSOM [echoing]:
Patrick?
314
00:13:46,870 --> 00:13:48,872
♪
315
00:13:48,872 --> 00:13:50,373
Patrick.
316
00:13:50,373 --> 00:13:51,458
[Patrick groaning]
317
00:13:51,458 --> 00:13:54,920
‐ Patrick, my name is Todd. I'm kinda
the public relations guy down here.
318
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,714
Let me help you up.
‐ Thanks, Todd.
319
00:13:57,714 --> 00:14:00,258
‐ Um, who's Todd?
320
00:14:00,258 --> 00:14:02,594
‐ Wait! Todd, I can understand you!
321
00:14:03,762 --> 00:14:06,556
[squawking]
322
00:14:06,556 --> 00:14:08,225
[imitates squawking]
323
00:14:08,225 --> 00:14:10,393
‐ Ho, ho!
324
00:14:10,393 --> 00:14:12,520
They broke Patrick!
325
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,397
‐ The blow to the head
affected your hearing.
326
00:14:14,397 --> 00:14:18,068
Now, our high‐pitched voices
resonate at a tolerable human frequency.
327
00:14:18,068 --> 00:14:19,903
‐ Ah!
‐ Side effects may include
328
00:14:19,903 --> 00:14:22,030
fucking up your balance.
329
00:14:22,030 --> 00:14:23,990
‐ [sighs] We still have time.
330
00:14:24,658 --> 00:14:25,825
‐ Pull!
331
00:14:26,576 --> 00:14:29,496
KNIGHTS: Aw.
‐ Looks like time's up!
332
00:14:29,496 --> 00:14:32,374
[cheering]
That felt like an hour, right?
333
00:14:32,374 --> 00:14:35,252
Oh, screw it. It's sand falling
through a hole, how accurate can it be?
334
00:14:35,835 --> 00:14:39,172
‐ For centuries, we tolerated you
surface people throwing trash
335
00:14:39,172 --> 00:14:41,591
and the occasional murder
victim down into the big pit.
336
00:14:41,591 --> 00:14:44,010
‐ You mean the bottomless pit?
It's not bottomless?
337
00:14:44,010 --> 00:14:46,346
‐ Of course it's not bottomless!
We live on a globe!
338
00:14:46,346 --> 00:14:49,057
How do you fall forever into
a globe and not hit something?
339
00:14:49,057 --> 00:14:52,185
Never mind that. When you started
invading our sovereign territory
340
00:14:52,185 --> 00:14:54,312
to steal those gems, we had to act.
341
00:14:54,312 --> 00:14:57,023
We sunk several of your surface
monuments as warnings.
342
00:14:57,023 --> 00:14:59,150
‐ Several monuments? Which ones?
343
00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:01,361
‐ Let's see. A large pyramid,
344
00:15:01,361 --> 00:15:03,947
a castle woven entirely from hemp,
345
00:15:03,947 --> 00:15:06,074
and a wholesale mattress warehouse.
346
00:15:06,074 --> 00:15:08,493
‐ King Rami, King Topher, Tony Saltine?
347
00:15:08,493 --> 00:15:09,995
Oh, that's gonna be trouble.
348
00:15:09,995 --> 00:15:12,956
‐ We even sent one final warning
with your boy made out of stone.
349
00:15:12,956 --> 00:15:16,209
‐ Barry! That's why he had
all that writing on him!
350
00:15:16,209 --> 00:15:17,836
‐ And so, we had no choice.
351
00:15:17,836 --> 00:15:20,380
Your rulers are on trial for
their crimes against our kingdom.
352
00:15:20,380 --> 00:15:22,048
‐ But none of this happened on purpose!
353
00:15:22,048 --> 00:15:24,050
It was just a bunch of dumb decisions
354
00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:26,136
that kept piling up on top of one another.
355
00:15:26,136 --> 00:15:28,597
‐ Yeah. That's generally
how history works.
356
00:15:28,597 --> 00:15:31,600
♪
357
00:15:32,976 --> 00:15:33,852
[click]
358
00:15:35,395 --> 00:15:37,564
[cheering]
359
00:15:37,564 --> 00:15:40,191
‐ And that's how you get the word "gunt."
360
00:15:40,191 --> 00:15:41,610
Try doing that in French.
361
00:15:41,610 --> 00:15:43,153
‐ Wait!
‐ Oh, thank God!
362
00:15:43,153 --> 00:15:45,196
My garlic knots are finally here.
363
00:15:45,196 --> 00:15:47,032
‐ Mama! Daddy!
364
00:15:47,032 --> 00:15:49,242
They're alive!
‐ Aw,
365
00:15:49,242 --> 00:15:52,203
no more King Blossom?
‐ Yeah. It's like a good thing happened,
366
00:15:52,203 --> 00:15:54,247
but also a bad thing happened.
367
00:15:54,247 --> 00:15:55,874
What's that called?
‐ Bittersweet.
368
00:15:55,874 --> 00:15:57,792
‐ [tasting] It tastes like shit.
369
00:15:59,294 --> 00:16:01,338
‐ Who are you?
‐ I'm Patrick.
370
00:16:01,338 --> 00:16:03,965
I call myself as a witness
for the defense.
371
00:16:03,965 --> 00:16:05,634
‐ Hm, most unusual,
372
00:16:05,634 --> 00:16:08,386
but this is my year of yes. I'll allow it.
373
00:16:08,386 --> 00:16:11,264
‐ Ooh! This is gonna be good.
‐ Just in time for their execution!
374
00:16:11,264 --> 00:16:13,350
‐ Can anybody else not see anything?
375
00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:15,101
‐ Ruben? Blarney? Coral?!
376
00:16:15,101 --> 00:16:16,728
Kevin? Bee Guy? Holden?
377
00:16:16,728 --> 00:16:19,189
‐ Uh, that's Esteemed Jury Members to you.
378
00:16:19,189 --> 00:16:21,066
‐ Say what you will
about these little shits,
379
00:16:21,066 --> 00:16:23,568
but they take
"jury of your peers" seriously.
380
00:16:23,568 --> 00:16:25,862
‐ Hey, Patrick,
did they give you a program?
381
00:16:25,862 --> 00:16:29,157
I can't understand this play,
like, at all.
382
00:16:29,157 --> 00:16:32,744
‐ Patrick, these furries are gonna
try and sell you a timeshare.
383
00:16:32,744 --> 00:16:35,205
Stay frosty. They're absolute pros.
384
00:16:43,505 --> 00:16:46,216
[inhales, exhales]
385
00:16:46,216 --> 00:16:48,343
‐ Your Honor, my whole life,
386
00:16:48,343 --> 00:16:50,387
I've dreamed of being a knight.
387
00:16:50,387 --> 00:16:53,306
[unintelligible squawking]
388
00:16:53,306 --> 00:16:55,141
‐ Ah! The boy knows French.
389
00:16:55,141 --> 00:16:58,520
Ha! Who says our public schools
are the worst rated in the land?
390
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,397
‐ The PTA.
391
00:17:00,397 --> 00:17:02,274
‐ Anyway, today, that dream
392
00:17:02,274 --> 00:17:04,693
finally came true. I was knighted.
393
00:17:04,693 --> 00:17:07,070
‐ Objection. Relevance, Your Honor?
394
00:17:07,070 --> 00:17:09,197
‐ I'm getting to it. You see,
395
00:17:09,197 --> 00:17:11,283
I always thought it'd be so easy
396
00:17:11,283 --> 00:17:13,577
to know the difference
between right and wrong.
397
00:17:13,577 --> 00:17:15,745
But ever since I became a squire,
398
00:17:15,745 --> 00:17:18,873
every day is like choosing
between a shit sandwich
399
00:17:18,873 --> 00:17:20,750
and a shit sandwich with cheese.
400
00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:23,211
‐ Objection, Your Honor! Nasty!
401
00:17:23,211 --> 00:17:26,631
‐ [sighs] I stole the gems, Your Honor.
402
00:17:26,631 --> 00:17:27,883
[gasping]
403
00:17:27,883 --> 00:17:31,219
I stole them, and I told
the king where to dig up more.
404
00:17:31,219 --> 00:17:33,096
I thought I did it for the right reasons,
405
00:17:33,096 --> 00:17:36,683
but it was only to keep my face
from getting eaten off by rats.
406
00:17:36,683 --> 00:17:38,226
I knew it was wrong,
407
00:17:38,226 --> 00:17:41,021
but I was looking out
for my own interests.
408
00:17:41,021 --> 00:17:42,772
♪
409
00:17:42,772 --> 00:17:45,108
Please let the king and queen go.
410
00:17:45,108 --> 00:17:47,903
I'm the one who knew what I did was wrong.
411
00:17:47,903 --> 00:17:50,739
Please, I want to balance the scales.
412
00:17:50,739 --> 00:17:53,533
Just once, I wanna do the right thing.
413
00:17:54,826 --> 00:17:58,663
‐ Some say mole justice moves too swiftly,
414
00:17:58,663 --> 00:17:59,956
but I say...
415
00:18:01,041 --> 00:18:03,543
Patrick is guilty.
Merriman and Tulip are free to go.
416
00:18:03,543 --> 00:18:06,004
‐ Patrick took the fall! Damn it.
417
00:18:06,004 --> 00:18:08,548
I guess witness protection
is off the table. Ugh!
418
00:18:08,548 --> 00:18:11,676
‐ [struggling]: Broth, Princess!
Get everyone to the surface,
419
00:18:11,676 --> 00:18:14,638
and stop the knights from blowing the dam!
‐ Not without
420
00:18:14,638 --> 00:18:17,724
my best bro!
‐ No. I want to stay.
421
00:18:17,724 --> 00:18:19,601
I want to own up to my mistakes.
422
00:18:19,601 --> 00:18:21,686
‐ Okay, I couldn't
understand a word you said,
423
00:18:21,686 --> 00:18:24,689
but you sacrificed yourself
for my parents, didn't you?
424
00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:26,233
‐ No. I‐‐
‐ That makes you
425
00:18:26,233 --> 00:18:28,235
the best knight I ever knighted.
426
00:18:28,235 --> 00:18:30,237
♪
427
00:18:31,947 --> 00:18:35,367
‐ Now then, let's get to sentencing.
428
00:18:35,909 --> 00:18:39,204
Eh, it's your first offense, I'm thinking
community service, 20 hours should do it.
429
00:18:39,204 --> 00:18:40,497
‐ What?
430
00:18:40,497 --> 00:18:42,165
[rumbling]
Oh no.
431
00:18:42,165 --> 00:18:45,168
They broke their promise,
those fucking knights!
432
00:18:45,168 --> 00:18:48,255
It's a flood!
Everyone's gotta get out of here now!
433
00:18:48,255 --> 00:18:50,674
[overlapping screaming]
434
00:18:50,674 --> 00:18:53,134
Which way is up? We need to go up!
435
00:18:53,134 --> 00:18:56,096
MERRIMAN: Patrick!
[panting]
436
00:18:56,888 --> 00:18:57,931
Todd?
‐ Pull this lever
437
00:18:57,931 --> 00:18:59,558
to go back to the surface, Patrick.
438
00:18:59,558 --> 00:19:02,185
‐ Todd, wait! Come with us!
‐ Oh, I'm a public relations man,
439
00:19:02,185 --> 00:19:05,480
Patrick. My skills will be
needed down here,
440
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,607
now more than ever.
[water flowing]
441
00:19:07,607 --> 00:19:09,442
Wait! It's a flood!
‐ Ah!
442
00:19:09,442 --> 00:19:11,278
‐ My skills are useless!
[slam]
443
00:19:11,278 --> 00:19:13,405
Ah!
[moles screaming]
444
00:19:13,405 --> 00:19:14,948
[gurgling]
445
00:19:14,948 --> 00:19:17,951
♪ elevator music ♪
446
00:19:18,577 --> 00:19:21,246
‐ This is my first elevator ride!
447
00:19:23,873 --> 00:19:25,959
♪
448
00:19:25,959 --> 00:19:27,460
[splashing]
‐ Ah!
449
00:19:31,756 --> 00:19:32,757
[splat]
450
00:19:34,426 --> 00:19:35,886
[bagpipe‐like groaning]
451
00:19:35,886 --> 00:19:37,512
‐ Yep. This one's definitely dead.
452
00:19:37,512 --> 00:19:39,890
‐ You couldn't even give me one hour?!
453
00:19:39,890 --> 00:19:42,726
You turned an easy diplomatic solution
454
00:19:42,726 --> 00:19:45,687
into a slaughter out of sheer laziness!
455
00:19:45,687 --> 00:19:47,939
Is that what being a knight means to you?
456
00:19:47,939 --> 00:19:51,693
‐ Being a knight means killing first
and not thinking about it later.
457
00:19:51,693 --> 00:19:55,113
And if you throw an hourglass
at my head again,
458
00:19:55,113 --> 00:19:56,948
we're gonna have a problem, Sir Patrick.
459
00:19:56,948 --> 00:19:59,200
‐ Did you just call him Sir Patrick?
460
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,785
‐ I knighted him, Daddy.
461
00:20:00,785 --> 00:20:02,829
‐ [laughs] You can't knight people.
462
00:20:02,829 --> 00:20:05,457
That's ridiculous!
‐ Stop undercutting me
463
00:20:05,457 --> 00:20:07,208
in front of the fucking help!
464
00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:10,295
‐ Come on, Sir Styles,
let's go dig up that brothel.
465
00:20:10,295 --> 00:20:13,256
‐ I have glass in my face!
466
00:20:13,256 --> 00:20:14,966
‐ Pull it together.
467
00:20:14,966 --> 00:20:16,843
‐ So after all that,
I'm not even a knight?
468
00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:18,970
[scoffs] You know what?
That's fucking perfect
469
00:20:18,970 --> 00:20:21,806
because I am done!
I've had enough of this insane‐‐
470
00:20:21,806 --> 00:20:24,184
‐ Boop, boop, you're a knight.
Happy, sweetie?
471
00:20:24,184 --> 00:20:26,728
‐ No! I don't wanna be a knight!
472
00:20:26,728 --> 00:20:29,940
I quit! I resign! I'm out!
473
00:20:29,940 --> 00:20:33,235
‐ You can't quit being a knight.
The only way out is death.
474
00:20:33,235 --> 00:20:35,362
‐ But that's not for a long time.
475
00:20:35,362 --> 00:20:38,949
An adult male in this day and age
will live well into his late 20s.
476
00:20:38,949 --> 00:20:41,117
[battle horn]
477
00:20:41,117 --> 00:20:43,620
‐ Nobody panic.
That could be the pizza guy.
478
00:20:44,746 --> 00:20:47,749
♪
479
00:20:47,749 --> 00:20:50,335
[armies yelling]
480
00:20:52,796 --> 00:20:55,632
‐ Well, one of those guys
has gotta be the pizza guy.
481
00:20:55,632 --> 00:20:57,133
There's, like, a million of them.
482
00:20:57,133 --> 00:21:00,136
[yelling]
[rumbling]
483
00:21:01,763 --> 00:21:04,057
‐ If they're here to help us
fight the mole people,
484
00:21:04,057 --> 00:21:05,809
they're gonna feel pretty stupid.
485
00:21:05,809 --> 00:21:08,937
‐ No, sire.
The mole people sank their castles
486
00:21:08,937 --> 00:21:11,189
because they couldn't tell
us surface people apart.
487
00:21:11,189 --> 00:21:13,733
BOTH: Racist.
‐ That makes me the hero
488
00:21:13,733 --> 00:21:15,193
who defeated the mole people.
489
00:21:15,193 --> 00:21:17,696
‐ That makes us the kingdom that got rich
490
00:21:17,696 --> 00:21:20,407
while the mole people were
sinking the wrong people's shit.
491
00:21:20,407 --> 00:21:21,992
‐ Not a great spin.
492
00:21:21,992 --> 00:21:24,411
‐ King Rami's been looking
for an excuse to invade.
493
00:21:24,411 --> 00:21:28,373
Now, he has the other kings
on his side. We're fucked.
494
00:21:28,373 --> 00:21:30,834
‐ We? I think you mean you.
495
00:21:30,834 --> 00:21:34,379
Kings don't fight wars. Knights do.
Go get 'em, Sir Patrick.
496
00:21:36,131 --> 00:21:37,883
‐ Pizza for King Merriman.
497
00:21:37,883 --> 00:21:39,676
‐ Bless the baby Jesus!
498
00:21:39,676 --> 00:21:41,887
‐ I don't see any garlic knots.
499
00:21:41,887 --> 00:21:43,763
‐ Sorry. Rain check on the knots.
500
00:21:43,763 --> 00:21:46,266
Our knot guy's out with a rash.
501
00:21:46,266 --> 00:21:49,686
‐ Unacceptable!
Merriman, punish her at once.
502
00:21:49,686 --> 00:21:51,229
‐ [groans] Fine.
503
00:21:53,231 --> 00:21:54,900
Boop, boop, you're a knight. Mm!
504
00:21:54,900 --> 00:21:57,360
‐ Aw, man. I'm a knight now?
505
00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:00,155
I was so close to making manager.
506
00:22:00,155 --> 00:22:03,700
‐ Well, good luck down there,
Sir... Kylie.
507
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:06,578
[army chattering]
‐ Goddammit.
508
00:22:06,578 --> 00:22:09,581
♪
509
00:22:09,581 --> 00:22:12,000
[armies shouting]
510
00:22:15,253 --> 00:22:16,338
♪ surf rock music ♪
511
00:22:16,338 --> 00:22:18,548
♪ It was a Hallowtide Eve ♪
512
00:22:19,466 --> 00:22:21,968
♪ Full of lightning and thunder ♪
513
00:22:22,886 --> 00:22:24,804
♪ My good friend Steve ♪
514
00:22:25,555 --> 00:22:27,891
♪ Said, "There's monsters down under" ♪
515
00:22:29,309 --> 00:22:32,437
♪ Monsters underground,
it's a brand new sound ♪
516
00:22:32,437 --> 00:22:36,274
♪ Monsters underground,
these moves will astound ♪
517
00:22:36,274 --> 00:22:39,277
♪
518
00:22:48,286 --> 00:22:51,248
[8‐bit noises]
519
00:22:51,248 --> 00:22:53,124
CHILD:
That was amazing.
520
00:22:53,124 --> 00:22:55,126
[paper crinkling, monkey ooking, slap]