1
00:00:01,044 --> 00:00:03,213
[wolf howling]
[bats chirping]
2
00:00:03,213 --> 00:00:05,257
BLOSSOM:
Spirits from beyond,
3
00:00:05,257 --> 00:00:07,634
on this Hallowtide Eve,
4
00:00:07,634 --> 00:00:09,302
we ask you to show
5
00:00:09,302 --> 00:00:12,556
your disgusting, deformed faces.
6
00:00:12,556 --> 00:00:13,557
[thunder]
7
00:00:13,557 --> 00:00:16,560
[screaming]
8
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,144
♪
9
00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:20,105
Oh. It was just your face.
10
00:00:20,105 --> 00:00:22,524
‐ You can't really talk to the dead.
11
00:00:22,941 --> 00:00:26,111
‐ I'm calling out to Ivy's dead parakeet.
12
00:00:26,111 --> 00:00:28,321
Are you with us now?
[wind blowing]
13
00:00:28,321 --> 00:00:30,991
‐ [gasps] Oh my god, Skeet? Is that you?
14
00:00:30,991 --> 00:00:34,578
‐ [imitating]:
Squawk! It is I, Skeet the parakeet!
15
00:00:34,578 --> 00:00:37,455
Ivy forgot to feed me, and I died!
16
00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:39,457
Help! It's so hot in Hell!
17
00:00:39,457 --> 00:00:41,042
‐ I was 9, you guys,
18
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:44,379
and I wasn't ready for
that level of responsibility!
19
00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:45,881
[rattling]
[girls screaming]
20
00:00:45,881 --> 00:00:47,632
[ghostly sounds]
21
00:00:47,632 --> 00:00:49,217
[screaming]
22
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,595
[laughter]
23
00:00:51,595 --> 00:00:54,389
‐ I can't believe you feel for that! Ha!
24
00:00:54,389 --> 00:00:56,308
Ghost boyfriend, idiots!
25
00:00:56,308 --> 00:00:59,269
‐ This is boring.
Let's tell scary stories.
26
00:00:59,269 --> 00:01:00,687
‐ Ooh! I have one.
27
00:01:01,354 --> 00:01:03,857
♪
28
00:01:03,857 --> 00:01:07,527
This is the story of Bloody Donna.
29
00:01:07,527 --> 00:01:09,362
[thunder]
30
00:01:09,362 --> 00:01:12,324
There once was a woman locked in a tower.
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00:01:12,324 --> 00:01:14,492
She was young and beautiful.
32
00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:15,535
But then,
33
00:01:15,535 --> 00:01:17,621
she turned 30.
34
00:01:17,621 --> 00:01:18,830
[thunder]
[all scream]
35
00:01:18,830 --> 00:01:22,000
She couldn't bear to look at
her wrinkled face and saggy tits,
36
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,127
so she broke her mirror.
37
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,630
In her lonely, horny madness,
38
00:01:26,630 --> 00:01:29,090
she knitted a yarn boyfriend...
39
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,759
to bang...
40
00:01:30,759 --> 00:01:32,636
‐ Wait, Bloody Donna?
41
00:01:32,636 --> 00:01:34,679
This sounds like my Aunt Donna.
42
00:01:34,679 --> 00:01:37,682
‐ But, her homemade
sex doll wasn't enough.
43
00:01:37,682 --> 00:01:40,227
She leapt from the tower, vagina first,
44
00:01:40,227 --> 00:01:43,188
and splattered into a zillion pieces!
45
00:01:43,647 --> 00:01:45,899
Legend says if you look in a mirror
46
00:01:45,899 --> 00:01:48,485
and say her name three times,
47
00:01:48,485 --> 00:01:50,195
Bloody Donna appears
48
00:01:50,195 --> 00:01:52,530
with an unquenchable thirst...
49
00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:54,241
for peen.
50
00:01:54,241 --> 00:01:57,702
[evil cackle]
ALL: Ah! Bloody Donna!
51
00:01:59,204 --> 00:02:00,580
‐ Oh! Guys, relax.
52
00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:03,208
It's just a mop, bucket, and a large ham
53
00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:05,377
placed precariously on a rocking chair.
54
00:02:05,919 --> 00:02:08,296
Where is this legend coming from?
55
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,340
Aunt Donna died six months ago.
56
00:02:10,340 --> 00:02:12,425
[rattling]
Keefer, knock it off!
57
00:02:12,425 --> 00:02:13,593
‐ It's not me, babe.
58
00:02:13,593 --> 00:02:14,678
[rattling]
59
00:02:15,387 --> 00:02:16,638
[thunder]
60
00:02:16,638 --> 00:02:18,598
[crashing]
[screaming]
61
00:02:18,598 --> 00:02:21,851
Whoa. Ancient treasure from the deep.
62
00:02:21,851 --> 00:02:25,689
‐ It's Barry,
the squire who turned to stone.
63
00:02:25,689 --> 00:02:26,856
Where'd he come from?
64
00:02:26,856 --> 00:02:29,859
♪
65
00:02:30,443 --> 00:02:33,029
‐ Hey, Ivy, I think I hear Skeet.
66
00:02:33,029 --> 00:02:35,532
Ha! Blasted! He's in Hell.
67
00:02:36,825 --> 00:02:39,828
♪ medieval theme playing ♪
68
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,796
MEGHAN: And let's all welcome
Barry back from the bottomless pit.
69
00:02:49,796 --> 00:02:51,840
‐ Does anyone know how he got back?
70
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,717
And what are those weird markings?
71
00:02:53,717 --> 00:02:56,219
‐ Just one of those mysteries
like how your cooch can stretch
72
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:59,139
from the size of a pinhole to
a basketball hoop during childbirth.
73
00:02:59,139 --> 00:03:01,641
But after five kids,
it's more of a bottomless pit situation.
74
00:03:01,641 --> 00:03:03,393
[all groan]
[thud]
75
00:03:03,393 --> 00:03:06,771
Tonight, you'll all be working
as scare actors in the funhouse
76
00:03:06,771 --> 00:03:08,857
at the King's annual Hallowtide party.
77
00:03:08,857 --> 00:03:09,900
[all groan]
78
00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:12,193
And Patrick,
King Merriman is rewarding you
79
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,029
for saving his life
and helping restore the kingdom.
80
00:03:14,029 --> 00:03:16,781
‐ Rewarded? Really?
‐ I'm trying to read his writing.
81
00:03:16,781 --> 00:03:19,492
Let's see. "Given the knighthood..."
82
00:03:19,492 --> 00:03:22,537
No! Wait! It says,
"Given a night at the Hallowtide ball
83
00:03:22,537 --> 00:03:24,998
with Princess Blossom as
her asexual chaperone."
84
00:03:24,998 --> 00:03:26,958
Ha! I was way off!
‐ Aw...
85
00:03:26,958 --> 00:03:29,628
‐ King Merriman knows that
you're the squarest squire,
86
00:03:29,628 --> 00:03:31,296
and that you'll keep Blossom safe.
87
00:03:31,296 --> 00:03:34,174
‐ Don't worry, Patrick.
Everyone knows that chaperones
88
00:03:34,174 --> 00:03:35,717
vacuum up all the leftover trim.
89
00:03:35,717 --> 00:03:37,719
[Patrick sighs]
[laughs] I'm just kidding, man.
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00:03:37,719 --> 00:03:40,096
Chaperones are gash repellent.
‐ Broth,
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00:03:40,096 --> 00:03:42,390
you'll be testing the king's
candy for razor blades.
92
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:43,600
‐ You can count on me!
93
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,852
Safety Captain Broth reporting for duty‐‐
94
00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:48,021
[grunts, laughs]
95
00:03:48,021 --> 00:03:49,606
Classic Barry!
96
00:03:50,357 --> 00:03:52,817
BLOSSOM:
Oh... my god...
97
00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:55,612
Even I wanna have sex with me.
‐ What are you?
98
00:03:55,612 --> 00:03:57,530
‐ A sexy 'raffe. What are you?
99
00:03:57,530 --> 00:03:59,616
A fuckin'... loser?
100
00:03:59,616 --> 00:04:02,327
‐ I'm your chaperone for the party.
‐ Oh, really?
101
00:04:02,327 --> 00:04:04,996
Does this ass look like
it needs a chaperone?
102
00:04:04,996 --> 00:04:06,706
‐ There's no correct
answer to that question.
103
00:04:06,706 --> 00:04:09,209
You know, I don't wanna hang
out with you all night either.
104
00:04:09,209 --> 00:04:12,379
I'm going through a lot right now.
I got eaten by a dragon last week,
105
00:04:12,379 --> 00:04:13,922
and I didn't even get a day off.
106
00:04:13,922 --> 00:04:15,840
‐ Uh, you think that's bad?
107
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,718
I invited my fiancé AJ
and my ghost boyfriend Keefer
108
00:04:18,718 --> 00:04:20,845
to the same party. Uh‐oh! [laughs]
109
00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:24,683
‐ To save the kingdom,
I had to betray my oath and kill a knight.
110
00:04:24,683 --> 00:04:26,851
‐ It's a spooky, sexy love triangle,
111
00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,478
served up Hallowtide‐style
112
00:04:28,478 --> 00:04:31,106
on tonight's adventure
with Princess Blossom!
113
00:04:31,106 --> 00:04:33,149
‐ At the party, I'll see other knights
114
00:04:33,149 --> 00:04:36,861
for the first time since I killed
a member of their brotherhood!
115
00:04:36,861 --> 00:04:38,530
It's very fucking stressful!
116
00:04:38,530 --> 00:04:41,408
‐ Oh... F‐word!
117
00:04:41,408 --> 00:04:43,994
Listen, parties are great
for bonding with frenemies
118
00:04:43,994 --> 00:04:45,370
and wiping the slate clean.
119
00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:48,748
Just go pound brews with those knights
until you vomit out all the bad feelings.
120
00:04:48,748 --> 00:04:52,085
‐ Huh. You're right.
I'll never have a better chance than this.
121
00:04:52,085 --> 00:04:54,004
Although, the drinking part is a problem.
122
00:04:54,004 --> 00:04:56,047
Hey, but I'm checking on you every hour,
123
00:04:56,047 --> 00:04:57,716
so don't. Go. Crazy.
124
00:04:57,716 --> 00:05:00,719
‐ Trois? That's French for me?
125
00:05:01,511 --> 00:05:04,431
‐ That public school is
not doing you any favors.
126
00:05:04,431 --> 00:05:06,474
♪
127
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:08,435
‐ What are you less‐thans supposed to be?
128
00:05:08,435 --> 00:05:10,729
‐ Bloody Donna!
It's the hottest costume this year!
129
00:05:10,729 --> 00:05:13,440
‐ My dead aunt is not
your Hallowtide costume!
130
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,692
Have some fucking respect!
131
00:05:15,692 --> 00:05:17,861
[straining]
Ah! [grunting]
132
00:05:18,612 --> 00:05:21,740
‐ Merriman, we are going
to be late for our own party.
133
00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:24,284
‐ Hallowtide is the best
holiday of the year!
134
00:05:24,284 --> 00:05:26,119
My costume has to be perfect.
135
00:05:26,119 --> 00:05:28,163
[excited giggle]
136
00:05:28,163 --> 00:05:31,458
‐ What the hell are you?
‐ I'm king of the gems!
137
00:05:31,458 --> 00:05:34,169
I'm gonna remind everyone how rich I am.
138
00:05:34,169 --> 00:05:35,837
What the hell are you, a penguin?
139
00:05:35,837 --> 00:05:38,298
‐ I'm a sexy maid!
‐ Well, that's stupid.
140
00:05:38,298 --> 00:05:40,133
Penguins are way sexier.
141
00:05:40,133 --> 00:05:42,510
Now, time to show
the haunted funhouse who's boss.
142
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:44,346
‐ Merriman, I know you love Hallowtide,
143
00:05:44,346 --> 00:05:46,556
but every year,
you attempt the haunted funhouse,
144
00:05:46,556 --> 00:05:49,559
and every year, you get so scared,
you shit your pants.
145
00:05:50,727 --> 00:05:53,063
[door shuts]
‐ That was Poor Merriman.
146
00:05:53,063 --> 00:05:55,398
Rich Merriman is a fucking god.
147
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,734
Whoa... whoa... [yelling]
[bumping]
148
00:05:57,734 --> 00:06:00,445
♪ organ music ♪
149
00:06:00,445 --> 00:06:02,614
[party chatter]
150
00:06:02,614 --> 00:06:04,282
[drumsticks clicking]
151
00:06:04,282 --> 00:06:06,451
♪ hard rock music ♪
152
00:06:06,451 --> 00:06:08,328
[crowd cheering]
153
00:06:08,995 --> 00:06:11,790
[crowd cheering, laughing]
154
00:06:14,626 --> 00:06:17,212
‐ Have a good time, bro!
155
00:06:17,212 --> 00:06:19,714
[lisping] I'm pretty sure I found all
the razor blades in the candy,
156
00:06:19,714 --> 00:06:21,925
and one single hypodermic needle.
157
00:06:21,925 --> 00:06:24,761
‐ None for me. I'm on a mission
to bond with the knights.
158
00:06:24,761 --> 00:06:26,972
‐ [normal]
You wanna dry‐bond... with men?
159
00:06:26,972 --> 00:06:29,432
Why do you always set it
to the hardest difficulty level?
160
00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:30,976
‐ Because the last thing I need tonight
161
00:06:30,976 --> 00:06:33,311
is to throw a wedding cake
into a ceiling fan!
162
00:06:33,311 --> 00:06:35,063
Okay?
‐ Sounds like there's a story there.
163
00:06:35,063 --> 00:06:38,733
‐ All you need to know is that I have
an alter ego named Party Patrick,
164
00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:41,319
and that my cousin Stephanie
doesn't talk to me anymore.
165
00:06:41,319 --> 00:06:44,864
[knights laughing, cheering]
166
00:06:44,864 --> 00:06:48,326
‐ Well, good luck playing beer pong
with ice water and a lemon wedge.
167
00:06:48,326 --> 00:06:50,161
Knights respond to alpha behavior.
168
00:06:50,161 --> 00:06:53,081
If booze is out, you need women
swarming you like sexy flies
169
00:06:53,081 --> 00:06:54,749
on sexy‐ass shit.
170
00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:57,544
‐ I'm not really swarm material.
‐ There.
171
00:06:57,544 --> 00:07:00,213
Go chat up that sheep
who strayed from the flock.
172
00:07:00,797 --> 00:07:02,799
‐ [sighs] Okay.
173
00:07:02,799 --> 00:07:04,217
♪ party music ♪
174
00:07:04,217 --> 00:07:07,095
Wool ewe dance with me? Hm?
175
00:07:07,095 --> 00:07:10,390
Get it? Wool? Ewe, E‐W‐E?
176
00:07:10,390 --> 00:07:12,809
They're sheep puns.
Because you're a sheep.
177
00:07:12,809 --> 00:07:15,937
‐ I'm obviously a sexy cloud.
178
00:07:15,937 --> 00:07:18,690
[poof, whirring]
Lah‐dee‐dah‐dah‐dee‐dah...
179
00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:21,109
‐ That's a really good costume.
180
00:07:21,109 --> 00:07:22,903
[laughter]
181
00:07:22,903 --> 00:07:24,571
‐ That was terrible!
182
00:07:25,238 --> 00:07:26,239
‐ Aw...
183
00:07:26,239 --> 00:07:29,242
[evil laughter]
[screaming]
184
00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:32,245
♪
185
00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:36,249
‐ This is the year for scary.
186
00:07:36,249 --> 00:07:39,169
‐ Your Majesty, last year,
you blacked out 10 steps inside
187
00:07:39,169 --> 00:07:40,921
and had night terrors for a month.
188
00:07:40,921 --> 00:07:43,256
‐ They weren't night terrors.
There was an inside‐out man
189
00:07:43,256 --> 00:07:45,050
in the corner of my room,
and I couldn't move!
190
00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:47,719
‐ Let's start at "Babies,"
and if it goes well,
191
00:07:47,719 --> 00:07:49,012
we can move to "Scary."
192
00:07:49,012 --> 00:07:50,639
‐ I'm the king of the gems!
193
00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:53,141
God made me the bravest, and I'm going in!
194
00:07:54,017 --> 00:07:57,520
‐ I knew he'd do that. That's why
we switched the signs, right, Kylie?
195
00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:01,942
‐ [high‐pitched voice]
I crushed a bunch of edibles earlier,
196
00:08:01,942 --> 00:08:05,070
and I don't know if you're real.
197
00:08:06,363 --> 00:08:08,365
‐ You didn't switch them, did you?
198
00:08:09,032 --> 00:08:10,742
[whistling]
199
00:08:11,493 --> 00:08:13,745
‐ Take off those costumes!
‐ Why?
200
00:08:13,745 --> 00:08:15,956
'Cause you're scared of Bloody Donna?
201
00:08:15,956 --> 00:08:19,084
‐ I am not! She's not even real!
‐ Then prove it.
202
00:08:19,084 --> 00:08:21,461
Look in the mirror and say "Bloody Donna"
203
00:08:21,461 --> 00:08:23,171
three times.
204
00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:24,631
‐ You look in the mirror and say
205
00:08:24,631 --> 00:08:27,092
"I don't smell like cabbage,
and people really like me"
206
00:08:27,092 --> 00:08:28,260
three times!
207
00:08:28,260 --> 00:08:30,720
‐ That's what I thought. Too chicken.
208
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:34,432
‐ [angry growl] I'm not a fucking chicken!
209
00:08:34,432 --> 00:08:37,185
♪
210
00:08:39,938 --> 00:08:41,565
[nervous sigh]
211
00:08:42,691 --> 00:08:45,694
Bloody Donna, Bloody Donna, Bloody Donna!
212
00:08:48,154 --> 00:08:51,157
[cackling]
[screaming]
213
00:08:54,536 --> 00:08:56,329
Ha! I knew nothing would happen.
214
00:08:56,329 --> 00:08:59,207
I'm gonna go fire those twats. Ow! God...
[clang]
215
00:08:59,791 --> 00:09:01,543
[gasps] What the shit?
216
00:09:02,210 --> 00:09:03,587
Am I in a mirror?
217
00:09:03,587 --> 00:09:05,839
♪
218
00:09:05,839 --> 00:09:08,508
Wait, if I'm in here... Oh...
219
00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:10,385
[gasps]
[thunder]
220
00:09:10,385 --> 00:09:12,429
‐ Ha‐ha! I'm free!
221
00:09:12,429 --> 00:09:14,556
Time to get my bean flicked!
222
00:09:14,556 --> 00:09:16,683
[cackling]
‐ Get back here,
223
00:09:16,683 --> 00:09:18,602
you dead bitch!
224
00:09:22,606 --> 00:09:25,650
[panting]
225
00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:27,360
♪
226
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:31,072
Hell yeah! I can see everything
from behind these mirrors.
227
00:09:31,072 --> 00:09:32,616
[door opens, shuts]
228
00:09:32,616 --> 00:09:35,368
‐ I haven't seen Princess Blossom
since we left her room.
229
00:09:35,368 --> 00:09:38,622
‐ [gasps] They're worried about me.
FERN: I've been so worried...
230
00:09:39,456 --> 00:09:41,124
that she'll show up and...
231
00:09:41,124 --> 00:09:43,043
ruin our night.
[Blossom gasps]
232
00:09:43,043 --> 00:09:46,755
Ivy, I'm so glad we're
finally getting some...
233
00:09:46,755 --> 00:09:48,715
alone time.
‐ Me, too.
234
00:09:48,715 --> 00:09:50,717
Happy two‐year anniversary. [kiss]
235
00:09:51,426 --> 00:09:53,345
[passionate kissing, moaning]
236
00:09:53,345 --> 00:09:55,388
[slurping]
237
00:09:55,388 --> 00:09:57,474
‐ I can't believe
238
00:09:57,474 --> 00:10:00,268
they've been secret lesbians without me!
239
00:10:00,268 --> 00:10:03,563
[kissing, moaning continues]
Oh, ho‐ho, ho!
240
00:10:03,563 --> 00:10:07,108
The mirror makes me an all‐seeing god!
241
00:10:07,692 --> 00:10:09,319
Who else should I spy on?
242
00:10:09,319 --> 00:10:12,030
[laughing]
243
00:10:12,530 --> 00:10:15,408
‐ Why did I ever think
I could be a knight?
244
00:10:15,408 --> 00:10:17,369
I can't even hang with them at a party.
245
00:10:17,369 --> 00:10:19,913
‐ You should bring out that Party Patrick
guy you were talking about.
246
00:10:19,913 --> 00:10:22,165
A cake in a ceiling fan
might make an impression.
247
00:10:22,165 --> 00:10:24,334
‐ Party Patrick is off limits!
248
00:10:24,334 --> 00:10:25,627
♪
249
00:10:25,627 --> 00:10:27,587
‐ Blossom!
[Patrick shivers]
250
00:10:27,587 --> 00:10:30,840
Jesus. Your mind is a cesspool of anxiety.
251
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,176
‐ You read my thoughts.
‐ Part of being a ghost,
252
00:10:33,176 --> 00:10:35,720
just like rattling chains
and smelling menses.
253
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:39,182
But Patrick, from what I saw,
you need to live a little, man,
254
00:10:39,182 --> 00:10:41,393
and this is coming from a dead guy.
255
00:10:42,936 --> 00:10:45,605
‐ Ah! I was just telling
the other knights about you.
256
00:10:45,605 --> 00:10:48,149
‐ Really?
‐ Yes! Make that face you made
257
00:10:48,149 --> 00:10:50,151
when those monkeys jizzed all over you!
258
00:10:50,151 --> 00:10:52,070
‐ Aw...
‐ [laughs] That's the one!
259
00:10:52,070 --> 00:10:53,863
Catch!
[Patrick grunting]
260
00:10:53,863 --> 00:10:54,781
[bottle smashes]
Oh,
261
00:10:54,781 --> 00:10:57,784
party foul! Here you go!
[Patrick grunting]
262
00:10:57,784 --> 00:10:59,828
‐ Ha ha! Got it‐‐ Whoa! [grunts]
263
00:10:59,828 --> 00:11:02,664
[sighs] It's okay. I don't drink anyway.
264
00:11:02,664 --> 00:11:05,250
‐ You're making it very hard
to hang out with you.
265
00:11:05,917 --> 00:11:07,752
KEEFER [echoing]:
You need to live a little, man,
266
00:11:07,752 --> 00:11:10,005
and this is coming from a dead guy...
267
00:11:11,131 --> 00:11:14,134
♪ party music ♪
268
00:11:16,011 --> 00:11:19,639
‐ Sir Styles, it would be an honor
to have a drink with you.
269
00:11:19,639 --> 00:11:20,974
‐ Let's get fucked up!
270
00:11:20,974 --> 00:11:21,975
[clink]
271
00:11:23,184 --> 00:11:25,186
[sighs, gulps]
272
00:11:28,857 --> 00:11:31,318
[burp] Ah!
[bottle clattering]
273
00:11:31,318 --> 00:11:35,071
‐ Hey, bud, aren't you supposed
to be checking on Blossom?
274
00:11:35,071 --> 00:11:37,699
Patrick?
PATRICK: Patrick isn't here anymore.
275
00:11:39,743 --> 00:11:41,244
♪
276
00:11:41,244 --> 00:11:43,496
Ksh‐ah... Call me...
277
00:11:43,496 --> 00:11:46,082
Party Patrick!
278
00:11:46,082 --> 00:11:48,209
♪ spooky music ♪
279
00:11:49,377 --> 00:11:51,087
[muffled screaming]
280
00:11:51,087 --> 00:11:53,089
[nervous whining]
281
00:11:53,089 --> 00:11:55,175
GORBY: Roar!
‐ Ah! [whimpering]
282
00:11:55,175 --> 00:11:56,259
No jump scares!
283
00:11:56,259 --> 00:11:58,053
‐ It's my job, Your Majesty!
284
00:11:58,053 --> 00:11:59,387
‐ Well, you're fucking fired.
285
00:12:00,513 --> 00:12:01,806
[sad sigh]
286
00:12:01,806 --> 00:12:04,392
♪ party music ♪
287
00:12:04,809 --> 00:12:07,437
‐ Ah! Woo‐hoo! Party Patrick!
288
00:12:07,437 --> 00:12:10,565
Hey! If we hookup,
does that make it a threesome?
289
00:12:10,565 --> 00:12:13,526
‐ What are you doing?!
‐ Stop Broth‐blocking me!
290
00:12:13,526 --> 00:12:16,947
[whispers] This one puts out.
‐ Hey! It's me, Prince AJ!
291
00:12:16,947 --> 00:12:19,616
My dad's the Mattress King,
so they call me out the Pullout Prince.
292
00:12:19,616 --> 00:12:22,786
It makes no sense outside
the context of retail bedding.
293
00:12:22,786 --> 00:12:25,330
Have you seen my fiancé, Princess Blossom?
294
00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:27,499
‐ You got any blow?
‐ Jesus, Patrick.
295
00:12:27,499 --> 00:12:28,875
‐ Woo‐hoo!
296
00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:31,878
♪ spooky music ♪
297
00:12:39,427 --> 00:12:40,929
‐ Nope!
298
00:12:40,929 --> 00:12:44,099
KEEFER: How could she be engaged
to you when she's still with me?
299
00:12:44,099 --> 00:12:46,893
‐ You're not even alive!
‐ She was my beating heart!
300
00:12:46,893 --> 00:12:49,688
‐ She was the queen to my king mattress!
301
00:12:49,688 --> 00:12:51,648
BOTH:
I'm single now!
302
00:12:51,648 --> 00:12:53,567
‐ [scoffs] I gotta get outta here!
303
00:12:54,818 --> 00:12:56,403
♪ party music ♪
304
00:12:56,403 --> 00:12:58,613
‐ [snort] Oh yeah...
305
00:12:59,614 --> 00:13:01,283
‐ Patrick! Look what you did?
306
00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:04,619
You were supposed to be watching me,
and now I'm trapped in a mirror!
307
00:13:04,619 --> 00:13:06,037
Wait, what are you doing?
308
00:13:06,037 --> 00:13:08,582
‐ Bumping rails of coke
with this baby factory.
309
00:13:08,582 --> 00:13:10,417
Quiet, you mouthy mirror.
310
00:13:10,417 --> 00:13:13,753
Hey, my coke!
And where's preggo en fuego?
311
00:13:13,753 --> 00:13:16,339
‐ She left hours ago,
and that's not cocaine.
312
00:13:16,339 --> 00:13:19,175
It's the inside of a snow globe
you broke after you tried to juggle.
313
00:13:19,175 --> 00:13:20,427
You need to go to bed.
314
00:13:20,427 --> 00:13:23,471
‐ You need to go to bed! In Hell!
315
00:13:23,471 --> 00:13:25,473
[struggling]
‐ Get back here,
316
00:13:25,473 --> 00:13:27,517
and get me out! Hello?
[door opens]
317
00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:31,062
I will fire everyone!
[door shuts]
318
00:13:31,688 --> 00:13:34,608
Human Shield! Help me!
I said Bloody Donna three times,
319
00:13:34,608 --> 00:13:36,151
and now I'm trapped in the mirror!
320
00:13:36,151 --> 00:13:37,903
‐ Holy shit! It's real?
321
00:13:37,903 --> 00:13:41,114
‐ Yeah, it's fucking real!
How am I supposed to get outta here?
322
00:13:41,114 --> 00:13:43,825
‐ It's almost midnight...
‐ What does that matter?
323
00:13:43,825 --> 00:13:45,493
♪
324
00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:47,746
ALL:
Bloody Donna, Bloody Donna,
325
00:13:47,746 --> 00:13:49,915
say it thrice, and you're a gonna.
326
00:13:49,915 --> 00:13:51,917
Reverse the spell by stroke of 12,
327
00:13:51,917 --> 00:13:54,461
or rot away in Mirror Hell.
328
00:13:54,461 --> 00:13:56,796
‐ By midnight? Or I'm stuck in here?
329
00:13:56,796 --> 00:13:58,924
Oh my god,
you gotta get me out! Get me out!
330
00:13:58,924 --> 00:14:01,968
Please!
‐ She can't do anything to us
331
00:14:01,968 --> 00:14:04,471
if we don't help her.
‐ As her food taster,
332
00:14:04,471 --> 00:14:07,557
I do like the idea of
eating for pleasure again.
333
00:14:07,557 --> 00:14:10,143
[whispering]
334
00:14:10,810 --> 00:14:13,605
‐ We've come to a decision...
We're leaving.
335
00:14:13,605 --> 00:14:16,858
‐ Get back here, you deceitful lesbians!
[door opens, shuts]
336
00:14:16,858 --> 00:14:19,736
And one cis‐het ally!
337
00:14:19,736 --> 00:14:22,614
♪ party music ♪
338
00:14:22,614 --> 00:14:25,075
‐ If you fight the way you chug,
339
00:14:25,075 --> 00:14:27,702
maybe you're knight material after all!
340
00:14:27,702 --> 00:14:30,455
‐ You're not mad that I killed
a member of the brotherhood?
341
00:14:30,455 --> 00:14:33,500
‐ Oh, come on! That guy
was a dork. He was always like,
342
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:37,212
"Don't burn that village!"
And, "Don't steal that widow's stuff!
343
00:14:37,212 --> 00:14:40,465
Her husband's still dead in the corner,
and the kids are all here."
344
00:14:40,465 --> 00:14:43,677
‐ Uh...
‐ Hey! That G‐MILF over there
345
00:14:43,677 --> 00:14:45,512
has had her eyes on you all night.
346
00:14:45,512 --> 00:14:47,556
♪
347
00:14:47,556 --> 00:14:49,474
[cracking]
[ding]
348
00:14:51,601 --> 00:14:52,602
‐ Mm...
349
00:14:55,939 --> 00:14:57,023
Hm...
350
00:15:00,777 --> 00:15:03,029
[passionate kissing, moaning]
351
00:15:03,029 --> 00:15:04,823
DONNA:
Oh, oh, oh yeah...
352
00:15:04,823 --> 00:15:07,784
‐ I can't believe I'm gonna lose
my virginity to a woman
353
00:15:07,784 --> 00:15:09,828
dressed like my ex‐girlfriend's dead mom.
354
00:15:09,828 --> 00:15:13,081
‐ I keep telling you.
I'm actually Aunt Donna.
355
00:15:13,081 --> 00:15:15,917
‐ Oh, it's so hot when you
stay in character. Say it again.
356
00:15:16,751 --> 00:15:18,545
‐ I'm the real Aunt Donna!
357
00:15:18,545 --> 00:15:20,338
Fuck me like I'm still alive!
358
00:15:20,755 --> 00:15:23,633
[passionate kissing, moaning]
359
00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:26,761
‐ Oh... God, we're doing it!
[Donna moaning]
360
00:15:26,761 --> 00:15:28,555
I'm having sex for the first time!
361
00:15:28,555 --> 00:15:31,808
It's, uh, so, eh, dusty?
362
00:15:31,808 --> 00:15:34,185
[cackling, gags]
363
00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:36,771
[Patrick screaming]
364
00:15:39,774 --> 00:15:40,775
♪
365
00:15:40,775 --> 00:15:44,154
[gagging, spitting]
[running water]
366
00:15:44,154 --> 00:15:45,822
‐ Aunt Donna. Oh my god.
367
00:15:45,822 --> 00:15:48,491
I lost my virginity to
Danielle's dead mom! [gags]
368
00:15:48,491 --> 00:15:51,703
DONNA: Hey! Getting yourself
hard again, honey?
369
00:15:51,703 --> 00:15:54,456
‐ Uh... Yep!
DONNA: You're my boyfriend now!
370
00:15:54,456 --> 00:15:57,250
Hurry back,
and I'll let you put it in my butt!
371
00:15:59,544 --> 00:16:00,545
‐ Huh?
372
00:16:00,545 --> 00:16:03,048
‐ I can't believe I let
Party Patrick out of his cage
373
00:16:03,048 --> 00:16:05,717
just to prove to
the knights that I'm cool!
374
00:16:05,717 --> 00:16:08,303
Oh my god. I forgot about Blossom!
375
00:16:08,303 --> 00:16:09,262
♪
376
00:16:09,262 --> 00:16:10,639
Ah! Mutant camel!
377
00:16:12,015 --> 00:16:14,476
Huh? Blossom? Why are you in the mirror?
378
00:16:14,476 --> 00:16:17,520
‐ Good question, Patrick.
Why am I in the mirror?
379
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:18,897
Oh, that's right.
380
00:16:18,897 --> 00:16:21,566
Because you weren't
doing your fucking job!
381
00:16:21,566 --> 00:16:24,486
Aunt Donna trapped me in here,
and if we don't switch back by midnight,
382
00:16:24,486 --> 00:16:26,404
I'm trapped here forever!
383
00:16:26,404 --> 00:16:27,822
♪
384
00:16:27,822 --> 00:16:29,157
‐ That's in 10 minutes!
385
00:16:29,157 --> 00:16:31,201
‐ I know! Now, listen!
386
00:16:31,201 --> 00:16:34,120
Your visor is stupid. What are you,
a dad on vacation?
387
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:35,247
Get me outta here!
388
00:16:35,247 --> 00:16:37,999
‐ Ah! Get me outta here! Ah!
389
00:16:37,999 --> 00:16:41,211
No scares. Whatever they're paying you,
I'll double it.
390
00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:44,714
‐ Two lunches?
Why, this must be my lucky day.
391
00:16:44,714 --> 00:16:47,175
I won't scare you‐‐ Ah!
‐ Ah!
392
00:16:47,175 --> 00:16:48,802
That's why I don't trust actors.
393
00:16:48,802 --> 00:16:51,596
They're paid to lie. [panting]
394
00:16:51,972 --> 00:16:54,933
‐ I gotta get you out of there,
so you're not stuck in Mirror Hell,
395
00:16:54,933 --> 00:16:57,310
and so Aunt Donna stops
trying to have sex with me.
396
00:16:57,310 --> 00:16:59,312
‐ Patrick, this isn't about you.
397
00:16:59,312 --> 00:17:02,232
Wait, what?
[glass shattering]
398
00:17:03,066 --> 00:17:05,068
♪
399
00:17:05,610 --> 00:17:07,696
[panting]
400
00:17:07,696 --> 00:17:09,614
[Donna cackling]
[Blossom screaming]
401
00:17:09,614 --> 00:17:12,617
[smashing]
[panting]
402
00:17:14,619 --> 00:17:15,870
Oh, I'm fucked.
403
00:17:15,870 --> 00:17:17,414
Patrick!
404
00:17:17,414 --> 00:17:18,873
We need to get here in front of a mirror
405
00:17:18,873 --> 00:17:21,001
that's not broken.
‐ Right!
406
00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:23,795
[bar chatter]
407
00:17:23,795 --> 00:17:25,797
♪ party music ♪
408
00:17:25,797 --> 00:17:27,841
How are we gonna find the real one?
409
00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:31,177
[wild laughter]
410
00:17:32,762 --> 00:17:35,765
[frantic yelling]
411
00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:38,810
Well, she made that very easy.
412
00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:41,771
‐ You, my friend,
are knight material as hell!
413
00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:44,482
Rumor has it that you banged
that great grand‐cougar
414
00:17:44,482 --> 00:17:45,859
in the Bloody Donna costume
415
00:17:45,859 --> 00:17:47,986
right on the king's bed!
‐ Wait,
416
00:17:47,986 --> 00:17:49,487
which Bloody Donna?
417
00:17:49,487 --> 00:17:51,615
‐ Uh...
‐ Oh my god.
418
00:17:51,615 --> 00:17:53,909
Did you bone my dead Aunt Donna?
419
00:17:53,909 --> 00:17:55,952
On my parents' bed?!
‐ I'm sorry.
420
00:17:55,952 --> 00:17:59,331
I'm disgusting. Party Patrick
is a bad, bad person.
421
00:17:59,331 --> 00:18:00,332
‐ Huh?
422
00:18:00,332 --> 00:18:02,125
‐ Damn it! What are we gonna do?
423
00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:05,378
‐ Sasha! I couldn't find
you in the funhouse!
424
00:18:05,378 --> 00:18:08,423
‐ Mackenzie! I was in the hall of mirrors,
425
00:18:08,423 --> 00:18:11,301
and it was so scary!
426
00:18:11,301 --> 00:18:13,678
‐ [gasps] Blossom,
we could go to the hall of‐‐ [grunts]
427
00:18:13,678 --> 00:18:15,180
♪
428
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:16,306
Ah! No!
429
00:18:16,306 --> 00:18:17,641
[clock chimes]
430
00:18:17,641 --> 00:18:19,559
I'm running out of time!
431
00:18:19,559 --> 00:18:21,311
[gasps] Aunt Donna!
432
00:18:21,311 --> 00:18:24,314
[sing‐song]:
I'm ready to make love!
433
00:18:24,314 --> 00:18:27,192
[bar laughing]
434
00:18:27,192 --> 00:18:29,945
‐ [grunts] These fields
are ready for plowing!
435
00:18:29,945 --> 00:18:32,948
‐ I had somewhere more fun in mind...
436
00:18:32,948 --> 00:18:34,282
[seductive laugh]
437
00:18:34,282 --> 00:18:35,867
[wolves howling]
438
00:18:35,867 --> 00:18:37,953
‐ Oh! A haunted funhouse!
439
00:18:37,953 --> 00:18:39,329
You're kinky!
440
00:18:39,829 --> 00:18:41,373
Wanna do it in a coffin?
441
00:18:41,373 --> 00:18:44,751
I'm already dead. [laughs]
442
00:18:46,127 --> 00:18:47,587
[nervous laugh]
443
00:18:47,587 --> 00:18:50,632
‐ Our relationship is really Blossom‐ing
444
00:18:50,632 --> 00:18:52,551
in this funhouse.
445
00:18:52,551 --> 00:18:53,677
Wanna play a sex game?
446
00:18:53,677 --> 00:18:56,846
‐ Ooh! Now, my sense of
smell will be heightened.
447
00:18:56,846 --> 00:19:00,517
A real bonus in the pre‐deodorant era.
448
00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:02,310
♪
449
00:19:03,603 --> 00:19:06,022
PATRICK [projecting]:
Our love affair is headed in
450
00:19:06,022 --> 00:19:09,192
new directions down this hall...
[Blossom gasps]
451
00:19:09,192 --> 00:19:11,278
‐ Think of the weird squishes
my powerful ears
452
00:19:11,278 --> 00:19:13,280
will pick up now.
[scared whimper]
453
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,865
‐ How did I get back here?
[laughs]
454
00:19:15,865 --> 00:19:18,868
‐ There you are, Your Highness. [giggles]
455
00:19:18,868 --> 00:19:21,496
You should call me your high‐ness.
456
00:19:21,496 --> 00:19:23,623
[laughs] Wanna know why?
457
00:19:23,623 --> 00:19:27,127
‐ I don't care. Just get me outta here.
‐ [slurred]: It's 'cause I'm high!
458
00:19:27,127 --> 00:19:29,838
Anyway, exiting the attraction,
turn left‐‐
459
00:19:29,838 --> 00:19:32,090
[screams]
[rocks crumbling]
460
00:19:32,090 --> 00:19:33,717
‐ S‐stoner girl?
461
00:19:33,717 --> 00:19:37,012
Are you trying to scare me,
or should I actually be worried?
462
00:19:37,637 --> 00:19:40,765
Hello? Oh, goddammit!
463
00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:43,768
♪
464
00:19:44,686 --> 00:19:46,646
‐ Hey, when can I take this off?
465
00:19:46,646 --> 00:19:49,274
Oh, I love seeing that
clueless face you make
466
00:19:49,274 --> 00:19:50,901
when you're looking for the hole.
467
00:19:50,901 --> 00:19:53,236
♪ funhouse music ♪
‐ W‐wait! They're playing our song.
468
00:19:53,236 --> 00:19:55,780
‐ Oh, it's so romantic!
469
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:58,992
[grunting, moaning, kissing]
470
00:19:58,992 --> 00:20:00,785
‐ [gagging] We're doing it
471
00:20:00,785 --> 00:20:03,872
in the hall of mirrors!
472
00:20:03,872 --> 00:20:05,707
‐ The hall of what?!
BLOSSOM: Patrick!
473
00:20:05,707 --> 00:20:07,083
♪ dramatic sting ♪
474
00:20:07,083 --> 00:20:08,084
[Donna gasps]
475
00:20:08,084 --> 00:20:09,836
‐ I've been bamboozled!
476
00:20:09,836 --> 00:20:12,047
Bloody Donna, Bloody Donna, Bloody Donna!
477
00:20:12,047 --> 00:20:14,299
♪ funhouse music continues ♪
478
00:20:14,299 --> 00:20:16,801
Why didn't it work?
[cackling]
479
00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:19,471
[clock chiming]
Oh my god, it's midnight! Hurry!
480
00:20:19,471 --> 00:20:22,474
‐ [grunts] Open! Your! Eyes!
481
00:20:22,474 --> 00:20:23,808
DONNA:
Ah!
482
00:20:23,808 --> 00:20:27,020
‐ I'm almost out of here,
and I haven't even shit my pants!
483
00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:27,979
[squish]
484
00:20:27,979 --> 00:20:29,898
Ew...
‐ Hey, bro!
485
00:20:29,898 --> 00:20:33,193
‐ [screaming] I'm shitting my pants!
486
00:20:33,193 --> 00:20:35,320
[grunting, screaming]
[chiming continues]
487
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,197
‐ [grunts] Blossom! Now!
488
00:20:37,197 --> 00:20:39,032
‐ Bloody Donna,
Bloody Donna, Bloody Donna!
489
00:20:39,032 --> 00:20:42,035
[Blossom and Donna screaming]
[rumbling]
490
00:20:42,953 --> 00:20:43,954
[poof]
491
00:20:43,954 --> 00:20:45,747
[gasps, sighs]
492
00:20:46,748 --> 00:20:47,749
[sighs]
493
00:20:47,749 --> 00:20:49,251
‐ Well, fuck.
494
00:20:49,251 --> 00:20:50,710
Wanna mutual masturbate?
495
00:20:50,710 --> 00:20:53,296
‐ Ew! Gross!
[Patrick grunts]
496
00:20:53,296 --> 00:20:55,298
[Donna screaming]
497
00:20:58,927 --> 00:20:59,928
[crowd chatter]
498
00:20:59,928 --> 00:21:02,889
♪
499
00:21:02,889 --> 00:21:06,226
‐ I have some real self‐reflecting to do.
500
00:21:06,226 --> 00:21:08,645
‐ Uh, yeah, like self‐reflecting on how
501
00:21:08,645 --> 00:21:10,855
you plowed my dead aunt's corpse!
502
00:21:10,855 --> 00:21:12,691
[laughter]
503
00:21:12,691 --> 00:21:15,402
‐ Hey, babe, I was thinking
of breaking up with you earlier
504
00:21:15,402 --> 00:21:18,029
because of the whole
you're‐secretly‐engaged thing,
505
00:21:18,029 --> 00:21:20,657
but it doesn't matter. I love you.
506
00:21:20,657 --> 00:21:22,033
♪ romantic music ♪
507
00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:24,202
‐ I wanna break up.
‐ Oh.
508
00:21:24,202 --> 00:21:26,621
[rumbling]
‐ Whoa! Whoa!
509
00:21:26,621 --> 00:21:27,914
[all screaming]
510
00:21:27,914 --> 00:21:30,875
[panting]
511
00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:32,794
‐ What was that?
‐ I don't know, man.
512
00:21:32,794 --> 00:21:34,838
The world's a mystery, and no one knows
513
00:21:34,838 --> 00:21:36,882
what's actually going on underground.
514
00:21:36,882 --> 00:21:39,467
‐ Wait! Barry! He's seen it all!
515
00:21:39,467 --> 00:21:41,344
Keefer, can you take a peak and see
516
00:21:41,344 --> 00:21:43,889
if Barry can still talk to us?
‐ I'll give it a shot.
517
00:21:43,889 --> 00:21:45,724
[whoosh]
[Barry's voice]: Guys!
518
00:21:45,724 --> 00:21:47,100
Can you really hear me?
519
00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:49,269
It's Barry! I'm still in here!
520
00:21:49,269 --> 00:21:51,855
[all gasping]
Listen to me very carefully!
521
00:21:51,855 --> 00:21:54,065
There are monsters underground!
522
00:21:54,065 --> 00:21:56,151
You have to get out of here! Run!
523
00:21:56,151 --> 00:21:57,444
[normal]:
I'm getting out of here.
524
00:21:57,444 --> 00:21:59,279
Smell you later.
525
00:21:59,279 --> 00:22:01,239
‐ No, wait! What's underground?
526
00:22:01,239 --> 00:22:02,866
‐ You clowns needs to clear the court.
527
00:22:02,866 --> 00:22:05,827
Some of us are playing strip croquet.
No fuggos.
528
00:22:05,827 --> 00:22:07,287
[rumbling]
529
00:22:07,287 --> 00:22:09,122
What's going on?! Ah!
530
00:22:10,248 --> 00:22:12,250
[screaming]
531
00:22:12,250 --> 00:22:13,752
[screaming fades]
532
00:22:16,129 --> 00:22:17,756
‐ Hey, Patrick.
533
00:22:17,756 --> 00:22:19,841
Does this dry dusty hole turn you on now?
534
00:22:19,841 --> 00:22:21,801
[laughter]
535
00:22:21,801 --> 00:22:25,430
‐ And that was the best
Hallowtide of their lives.
536
00:22:26,056 --> 00:22:27,641
‐ Who are you talking to, Broth?
537
00:22:27,641 --> 00:22:29,768
‐ Uh, I'm narrating.
538
00:22:29,768 --> 00:22:31,770
He said to the idiot.
539
00:22:32,646 --> 00:22:34,648
♪ dramatic music ♪
540
00:22:34,648 --> 00:22:37,651
♪
541
00:23:07,681 --> 00:23:10,725
[8‐bit sounds]
542
00:23:10,725 --> 00:23:12,519
CHILD:
That was amazing.
543
00:23:12,519 --> 00:23:14,521
[paper crinkling, monkey ooking, slap]