1 00:00:04,881 --> 00:00:06,758 MERRIMAN: You show up, you make shoes, 2 00:00:06,758 --> 00:00:07,968 you go home. 3 00:00:07,968 --> 00:00:09,594 Why would a cobbler shop 4 00:00:09,594 --> 00:00:11,555 need a human resources department? 5 00:00:11,555 --> 00:00:14,057 You'd be surprised. 6 00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:16,685 Now, Artie, 7 00:00:16,685 --> 00:00:19,145 it was your idea to use phoenix leather 8 00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:21,731 for the new line of RKG‐55s. 9 00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:23,066 Can you tell us why? 10 00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:26,820 ‐ Because phoenix leather is sturdy, long‐lasting, low‐cost, 11 00:00:26,820 --> 00:00:28,697 and a phoenix killed my father. 12 00:00:28,697 --> 00:00:31,992 ‐ Right. And the downside of using phoenix leather? 13 00:00:31,992 --> 00:00:33,827 ‐ It bursts into flames? 14 00:00:33,827 --> 00:00:36,246 ‐ That's right, best friend Tim! 15 00:00:36,246 --> 00:00:38,832 Let's do some role‐playing. Tim, Fran, 16 00:00:38,832 --> 00:00:41,251 get up here and act like salespeople for once. 17 00:00:42,544 --> 00:00:44,754 And, uh, try not to make out on the way. 18 00:00:44,754 --> 00:00:47,591 ‐ I volunteer to play the customer! ‐ Whatever, Dwayne. 19 00:00:47,591 --> 00:00:48,592 Tim, Fran, 20 00:00:48,592 --> 00:00:51,177 you've got a customer whose foot is missing 21 00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:52,888 because your product blew it off. 22 00:00:52,888 --> 00:00:56,099 Now, how are you going to keep this customer loyal? 23 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:57,559 ‐ Give me a free shoe. 24 00:00:58,184 --> 00:00:59,603 Ah! 25 00:01:01,688 --> 00:01:05,150 ‐ And that's where HR comes in. 26 00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:18,455 ‐ Do I really have to wear this? 27 00:01:18,955 --> 00:01:20,332 ‐ I'm just following orders. 28 00:01:20,332 --> 00:01:21,833 ‐ Ah! From who? 29 00:01:21,833 --> 00:01:23,376 ‐ From me! 30 00:01:23,376 --> 00:01:25,462 I told you to bring me Merriman. 31 00:01:25,462 --> 00:01:27,422 Instead, you murdered my best knight! 32 00:01:27,422 --> 00:01:29,257 If you're gonna stab me in the back, 33 00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:32,010 you're gonna look like a hot little slut doing it. 34 00:01:32,010 --> 00:01:33,720 ‐ Great. We agree that I should die. 35 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,097 So, rather than make me go through this song‐and‐dance, 36 00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:38,141 just cut out the middleman and kill me now. 37 00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:41,228 ‐ Tell me more about how you should die, 38 00:01:41,228 --> 00:01:44,481 you bad boy. ‐ What is wrong with you? 39 00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:45,941 ‐ I'm not sure. 40 00:01:45,941 --> 00:01:49,694 Oh, you're just such a delicious piece of ass in that outfit. 41 00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:53,365 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go think about you fighting for your life 42 00:01:53,365 --> 00:01:56,368 while I rub up against a corduroy couch. 43 00:01:58,954 --> 00:02:01,331 ‐ Ow! Ah! 44 00:02:09,214 --> 00:02:10,966 ‐ The name's Angry Carl. 45 00:02:10,966 --> 00:02:12,384 Nice G‐string. 46 00:02:12,384 --> 00:02:14,970 You here to fight, or are you our entertainment? 47 00:02:14,970 --> 00:02:16,638 ‐ I'm just here to die. 48 00:02:17,013 --> 00:02:19,266 ‐ Oh god. Well, that took a turn. 49 00:02:19,266 --> 00:02:20,934 Nice bantering with you. 50 00:02:20,934 --> 00:02:24,271 ‐ Name' s Nunchuck Johnny. My Christian name is Nuncharles Jonathan. 51 00:02:24,271 --> 00:02:25,272 What are you in for? 52 00:02:25,272 --> 00:02:28,525 ‐ I'm Patrick. I killed Sir Midnight Darkness X. 53 00:02:28,525 --> 00:02:31,611 ‐ You killed Sir MDX? 54 00:02:31,611 --> 00:02:33,697 But, he's supposed to be unkillable. 55 00:02:33,697 --> 00:02:37,242 You must've used a flaming sword forged in the fires of a volcano. 56 00:02:37,742 --> 00:02:39,160 ‐ It was a potato peeler. 57 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,038 ‐ You're Patrick the Peeler? Wow! 58 00:02:42,038 --> 00:02:45,166 It's an honor to meet you. You might've heard of me, too. 59 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,586 I'm a slaughtering machine with no peen. 60 00:02:47,586 --> 00:02:50,046 I like to kill, and I'm a little shrill. 61 00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:51,631 The name's Clambo. 62 00:02:51,631 --> 00:02:54,968 ‐ This spiel always makes me so uncomfortable. 63 00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:58,513 ‐ Hey, guys! This kid Patrick's a stone‐cold knight killer. 64 00:02:58,513 --> 00:03:00,891 All hail Patrick the Peeler! 65 00:03:00,891 --> 00:03:04,102 ‐ Uh, no, no, no. Listen, I'd rather not glorify the darkest moment of my life. 66 00:03:04,102 --> 00:03:05,854 ALL: Patrick the Peeler! 67 00:03:05,854 --> 00:03:09,399 Patrick the Peeler! Patrick the Peeler! 68 00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:12,736 ♪ 69 00:03:12,736 --> 00:03:15,447 ‐ Girls! Cousin Blossom! I come bearing gifts. 70 00:03:15,447 --> 00:03:18,033 Brand new hats for today's event. 71 00:03:20,535 --> 00:03:22,829 ‐ Oh no, Human Shield! 72 00:03:22,829 --> 00:03:24,831 Your ugly hat blew away! 73 00:03:24,831 --> 00:03:27,500 Be more careful. ‐ You may join us at the arena 74 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,503 after you retrieve Human Being's hat. 75 00:03:31,004 --> 00:03:32,505 ♪ 76 00:03:33,548 --> 00:03:36,509 Mr. Maxwell, your 1:00 is here for his interview. 77 00:03:36,509 --> 00:03:38,428 ‐ Hello, sir! Here's my resume! 78 00:03:40,931 --> 00:03:44,643 ‐ Hm, I don't see any cobbling experience here, but hey. 79 00:03:44,643 --> 00:03:47,020 Yours truly didn't have any HR experience 80 00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:48,021 when he started. 81 00:03:48,021 --> 00:03:50,273 So, tell me about yourself, Mister... 82 00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:51,942 ‐ Flier Guy. I lost my job 83 00:03:51,942 --> 00:03:54,527 because the Old King banned printed words. 84 00:03:54,527 --> 00:03:57,322 ‐ Sounds like him. What else is going on in the old kingdom? 85 00:03:57,322 --> 00:03:59,157 How are the queen and princess? 86 00:03:59,157 --> 00:04:01,618 Tulip and, uh, Flossom, was it? 87 00:04:01,618 --> 00:04:04,120 Not that I care. ‐ Oh, get this! 88 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,040 Tulip exiled to mid‐range island resort, 89 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,417 Blossom demoted to lady‐in‐waiting 90 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,002 for Princess Danielle! 91 00:04:11,002 --> 00:04:13,129 ‐ Sweet Christ. Tulip must hate that. 92 00:04:13,129 --> 00:04:15,549 And Blossom's pet peeve is poetic comeuppance. 93 00:04:15,549 --> 00:04:17,300 At least they're both safe and sound. 94 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,928 Not‐not that I care. ‐ But, front page news 95 00:04:19,928 --> 00:04:22,347 is that a squire named Patrick the Peeler 96 00:04:22,347 --> 00:04:24,724 is set to fight in the gladiator pit! 97 00:04:24,724 --> 00:04:26,643 He murdered a knight sent to catch 98 00:04:26,643 --> 00:04:28,520 the rogue King Merriman! 99 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:31,690 ‐ Patrick! He'll suffer an agonizing death! 100 00:04:31,690 --> 00:04:34,526 Not that I care! ‐ Is this griffin skin? 101 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:38,154 I need a doctor! 102 00:04:38,154 --> 00:04:41,366 Ah! A carriage drove over me! 103 00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:43,952 Oh, it's a medical carriage. I'm all good! 104 00:04:43,952 --> 00:04:46,955 ♪ 105 00:04:47,872 --> 00:04:49,624 ‐ Can my friend join us for lunch? 106 00:04:49,624 --> 00:04:52,127 ‐ Of course, dear. She looks familiar. 107 00:04:52,127 --> 00:04:53,211 What's her name? 108 00:04:53,211 --> 00:04:56,298 ‐ Call her Ishmael. Just kidding. Her name's Tina. 109 00:04:56,298 --> 00:04:59,551 ‐ Doreen, it's Queen Tulip in a pirate hat. Jesus. 110 00:04:59,551 --> 00:05:01,678 ‐ You know I have hat blindness, Glenn. 111 00:05:01,678 --> 00:05:04,389 ‐ Oh, no need to bow or bring out the fine china. 112 00:05:04,389 --> 00:05:06,266 ‐ Wasn't gonna. ‐ Coral, where's Mark? 113 00:05:06,266 --> 00:05:07,434 Dude owes me 20 bucks. 114 00:05:08,727 --> 00:05:11,354 ‐ Seven serving four. Look out, babe! 115 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:13,899 Here comes the heat! Ah! 116 00:05:13,899 --> 00:05:16,192 See that shot, Coral the volleyball? 117 00:05:18,737 --> 00:05:20,030 ‐ Meh, who cares? 118 00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:23,617 ‐ Yesterday, I juggled eight candelabras, all lit! 119 00:05:23,617 --> 00:05:25,327 They're probably gonna promote me. 120 00:05:25,327 --> 00:05:27,495 ‐ Strange. Something usually 121 00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:29,289 stops the bowl from hitting the ground. 122 00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:31,458 ‐ Where's Patrick? ‐ Scuttlebutt at work is that 123 00:05:31,458 --> 00:05:34,085 he's been sentenced to fight in the gladiator pit. 124 00:05:34,085 --> 00:05:35,545 ‐ Why didn't you say something!? 125 00:05:35,545 --> 00:05:38,673 ‐ It's too late! He's probably walking out to fight right now. 126 00:05:38,673 --> 00:05:41,760 I say we just enjoy our dinner and then play 127 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,345 a rousing game of‐‐ 128 00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:47,224 Solitaire. 129 00:05:47,224 --> 00:05:49,392 ♪ 130 00:05:57,692 --> 00:05:59,027 OLD KING: You there! 131 00:05:59,027 --> 00:06:02,697 I'm bored! Kill each other in a grisly fashion! 132 00:06:02,697 --> 00:06:04,241 Throw in a slow‐motion death or two. 133 00:06:04,241 --> 00:06:06,326 Add some pizazz before I fall asleep. 134 00:06:10,997 --> 00:06:13,500 ‐ Oh god, 135 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:15,210 Patrick's next. Oh... 136 00:06:21,633 --> 00:06:25,011 ‐ Oh, dear god. 137 00:06:25,011 --> 00:06:27,138 ‐ Are you not entertained? 138 00:06:27,138 --> 00:06:28,515 These tickets are not cheap, 139 00:06:28,515 --> 00:06:31,476 so it's important to me that you're entertained! 140 00:06:31,476 --> 00:06:34,354 Sometimes, I just get insecure, you know? 141 00:06:36,648 --> 00:06:38,608 ‐ Next match is a real doozy. 142 00:06:38,608 --> 00:06:40,360 Six versus one, 143 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:41,861 but he can certainly hold his own 144 00:06:41,861 --> 00:06:44,322 since he killed the legendary Sir MDX! 145 00:06:47,367 --> 00:06:50,245 ‐ Hell yeah! That's my friend you're booing! 146 00:06:51,955 --> 00:06:53,957 ♪ 147 00:06:56,668 --> 00:06:59,421 ♪ 148 00:07:01,673 --> 00:07:04,301 ‐ Your last meal is here. 149 00:07:04,301 --> 00:07:07,053 ‐ Hint, it's my pussy... 150 00:07:07,053 --> 00:07:09,431 ‐ Just leave it on that bench, and I'll pick at it later. 151 00:07:10,724 --> 00:07:13,810 ‐ Listen, idiot! You've been noble to a fault since we met, 152 00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:16,897 and now, that nobility is going to get you killed 153 00:07:16,897 --> 00:07:19,232 if you don't fight. ‐ That's the plan. 154 00:07:19,232 --> 00:07:21,484 I killed Sir Midnight Darkness X. 155 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:24,154 If I killed a fellow knight, I deserve to die, too. 156 00:07:25,947 --> 00:07:28,617 ‐ Oh Christ. Maybe I do need therapy. 157 00:07:30,869 --> 00:07:33,246 ♪ 158 00:07:33,246 --> 00:07:35,498 Oh, fuck it. Go ahead and die. 159 00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:37,500 You'll live on forever in my spank bank. 160 00:07:41,004 --> 00:07:43,173 I actually came here to let you know 161 00:07:43,173 --> 00:07:45,133 that Granddad has something... 162 00:07:45,133 --> 00:07:47,552 awful in store for the finale. 163 00:07:47,552 --> 00:07:50,222 So, better hope you're dead before then. 164 00:07:57,187 --> 00:07:59,022 ♪ 165 00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:00,732 ‐ Ladies and gents, 166 00:08:00,732 --> 00:08:03,735 please welcome the rest of the gladiators! 167 00:08:07,572 --> 00:08:09,699 ‐ Ah! 168 00:08:09,699 --> 00:08:11,076 ‐ Woo‐‐ 169 00:08:11,076 --> 00:08:12,077 Hoo! 170 00:08:12,077 --> 00:08:13,995 ‐ Give it up for Nunchuck Johnny! 171 00:08:15,705 --> 00:08:17,540 Clambo! 172 00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,960 The most murderous psycho in the land, 173 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,711 Patrick the Peeler! 174 00:08:21,711 --> 00:08:23,588 Plus miscellaneous gladiators 175 00:08:23,588 --> 00:08:26,258 you don't need to learn the names of. They will not have merch. 176 00:08:26,258 --> 00:08:28,426 ‐ Here, take this. 177 00:08:28,426 --> 00:08:30,136 ‐ Don't need any extra baggage. 178 00:08:30,136 --> 00:08:31,596 I'm going straight to Hell. 179 00:08:31,596 --> 00:08:33,890 ‐ Whatever you say, weirdo. 180 00:08:33,890 --> 00:08:36,851 ♪ 181 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,605 ‐ Peel those fuckers! Peel 'em! 182 00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:43,858 ‐ Now taking bets on how long he'll last and the way he's going to die. 183 00:08:43,858 --> 00:08:46,444 ‐ Two minutes tops. Skull caved in with a cudgel. 184 00:08:46,444 --> 00:08:48,697 ‐ 11 seconds. Suicide by cop. 185 00:08:48,697 --> 00:08:51,908 ‐ Um, not cool, you guys. That's our friend Patrick. 186 00:08:51,908 --> 00:08:54,995 ‐ Thanks, Commander Highroad. Didn't know you were allergic to money. 187 00:08:54,995 --> 00:08:57,330 10 minutes, eaten alive. 188 00:09:00,208 --> 00:09:02,586 ‐ I won't fight back. Just make it quick. 189 00:09:02,586 --> 00:09:04,546 ‐ He's faking it! Don't trust him! 190 00:09:04,546 --> 00:09:07,257 ‐ Yeah, he lures you in, and then he stabs you in the eye. 191 00:09:07,257 --> 00:09:09,926 ‐ Oh, Patrick. I can't bear to look! 192 00:09:09,926 --> 00:09:11,219 ‐ Kiss each other! 193 00:09:13,013 --> 00:09:15,640 ‐ Patrick! Sign my peeler! 194 00:09:20,312 --> 00:09:23,940 ‐ Uh, go get him, Carl. ‐ You go get him, Jonathan. 195 00:09:23,940 --> 00:09:26,067 ‐ Ladies first. ‐ Fuck off! 196 00:09:32,908 --> 00:09:36,119 ‐ Look! Patrick the Peeler is so powerful, 197 00:09:36,119 --> 00:09:38,747 he killed two people without even touching them! 198 00:09:38,747 --> 00:09:40,916 ‐ No, I didn't! ‐ He's a demon! 199 00:09:40,916 --> 00:09:43,960 He's controlling our minds! Don't make eye contact! 200 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,005 Everyone, close your eyes and whistle! 201 00:09:55,388 --> 00:09:56,306 Ah! 202 00:09:58,266 --> 00:10:00,268 ‐ All my best friends are dead. 203 00:10:05,899 --> 00:10:09,611 ‐ Ah! Whose sword do I have to fall on to get a quick death around here? 204 00:10:12,364 --> 00:10:14,658 ‐ You've been peeled, motherfuckers! 205 00:10:14,658 --> 00:10:17,327 ‐ That was amazing! Encore! 206 00:10:17,327 --> 00:10:20,372 Everyone, take a bow! 207 00:10:21,373 --> 00:10:23,875 ♪ 208 00:10:25,502 --> 00:10:27,462 MERRIMAN: I'll have your fool head on a pike! 209 00:10:27,462 --> 00:10:28,463 ‐ Daddy? 210 00:10:30,966 --> 00:10:33,468 ‐ I'll deny you, you punk‐ass bitch! 211 00:10:33,468 --> 00:10:35,470 BLOSSOM : Where the fuck have you been? 212 00:10:35,470 --> 00:10:38,598 Danielle made me get a job and look Human Shield in the eye. 213 00:10:38,598 --> 00:10:40,308 ‐ Oh, Petal, that's terrible. 214 00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:42,269 I'll have Human Shield drawn and quartered. 215 00:10:42,269 --> 00:10:44,604 ‐ No, don't! She's my best friend. 216 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,731 ‐ Alright then. 217 00:10:46,731 --> 00:10:48,817 I need to get inside. 218 00:10:48,817 --> 00:10:50,986 This future dead man says my gate code isn't working. 219 00:10:50,986 --> 00:10:53,822 ‐ No, Grandpa changed it. Now, it's "Vanessa got dat azz," 220 00:10:53,822 --> 00:10:55,907 and ass is spelled with two Z's. 221 00:10:59,911 --> 00:11:01,496 ‐ Patrick dead? ‐ I don't know. 222 00:11:01,496 --> 00:11:04,249 Danielle wouldn't let me go to the executionnn 223 00:11:04,249 --> 00:11:07,878 for no reasonnnn! 224 00:11:07,878 --> 00:11:09,629 ‐ We have to save him before it's too late. 225 00:11:09,629 --> 00:11:11,298 To the Merriman‐mobile! 226 00:11:12,299 --> 00:11:13,842 CROWD: Peeler! 227 00:11:15,302 --> 00:11:18,138 ‐ Okay, everybody out. I'll find parking. 228 00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:20,473 This is dad business. 229 00:11:20,473 --> 00:11:22,976 CROWD: Peeler! Peeler! Peeler... 230 00:11:22,976 --> 00:11:25,770 ‐ And now, for the grand finale! 231 00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:29,190 Our champion, Patrick the Peeler! 232 00:11:32,277 --> 00:11:33,486 ‐ : Wow! 233 00:11:33,486 --> 00:11:36,573 Patrick's actually doing great. Look at that little tushy. 234 00:11:36,573 --> 00:11:38,450 ‐ He gets that from his mother. 235 00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:40,785 ‐ And our mystery challenger, 236 00:11:40,785 --> 00:11:43,872 from the top of the endangered species list, 237 00:11:43,872 --> 00:11:45,874 a motherfucking dragon! 238 00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:06,978 ‐ Oh boy. That is a big fucking bird. Fuck! 239 00:12:06,978 --> 00:12:08,980 ♪ 240 00:12:09,564 --> 00:12:12,108 ‐ Oh yeah. This oughta do the trick. 241 00:12:15,483 --> 00:12:18,240 Peeler! Peeler! Peeler... 242 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:21,243 ♪ 243 00:12:25,789 --> 00:12:28,500 ‐ I love you, sweetheart! Don't give up! 244 00:12:29,918 --> 00:12:31,962 ‐ Oh my god, what am I doing? 245 00:12:31,962 --> 00:12:35,340 I can't give up. I have people who love me. 246 00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:38,552 I won't let my mom watch me die in a G‐string. 247 00:12:49,229 --> 00:12:50,605 ♪ 248 00:12:59,531 --> 00:13:01,533 ‐ Mm! 249 00:13:01,533 --> 00:13:05,036 I am delighted and disturbed by how good that smells. 250 00:13:05,036 --> 00:13:07,789 ‐ Blinkerquartz, give Patrick a fucking teammate! 251 00:13:07,789 --> 00:13:08,832 ‐ Mm‐hmm. 252 00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:11,418 Hm... 253 00:13:11,418 --> 00:13:14,379 I have, um, 50 bucks on Patrick. 254 00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:16,464 ‐ Ooh! I want some of that action. 255 00:13:16,464 --> 00:13:19,384 $10 trillion on Hat Trick! 256 00:13:21,011 --> 00:13:22,929 ‐ Uh... ‐ Don't panic, Patrick! 257 00:13:22,929 --> 00:13:24,890 I'm a certified dragon specialist, 258 00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:26,308 and I'm here to help. 259 00:13:30,604 --> 00:13:32,689 ‐ Don't panic, Patrick! 260 00:13:32,689 --> 00:13:35,609 We're here to save you! 261 00:13:35,609 --> 00:13:37,861 Oh shit! It's a motherfucking dragon! 262 00:13:41,281 --> 00:13:43,700 Wow, Blossom. They really hate you. 263 00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:46,494 CROWD: Merriman sucks! Merriman sucks! 264 00:13:46,494 --> 00:13:49,623 We're ambivalent about Blossom, but Merriman sucks! 265 00:13:50,165 --> 00:13:52,834 ‐ Merriman?! And Blossom?! 266 00:13:52,834 --> 00:13:56,630 Why does she have that poor person costume on? In public? 267 00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:57,964 ♪ 268 00:13:57,964 --> 00:14:01,551 ‐ My little crotch fruit returns, eh? 269 00:14:01,551 --> 00:14:04,137 Release the gladiators! 270 00:14:08,266 --> 00:14:11,686 ‐ Say hello to the RKG‐55! 271 00:14:11,686 --> 00:14:14,397 It's an HR nightmare. 272 00:14:19,110 --> 00:14:22,197 I need to get up to the old man! 273 00:14:24,115 --> 00:14:25,617 Where the hell'd you learn that? 274 00:14:25,617 --> 00:14:27,452 ‐ Public school. 275 00:14:27,869 --> 00:14:29,829 Ha! 276 00:14:29,829 --> 00:14:31,706 ‐ Holy shit! 277 00:14:36,878 --> 00:14:39,548 ♪ 278 00:14:42,175 --> 00:14:45,095 OLD KING: You stole my crown, sonny boy. 279 00:14:45,095 --> 00:14:46,763 Come get your spanking. 280 00:14:46,763 --> 00:14:48,932 ‐ With pleasure. 281 00:14:48,932 --> 00:14:50,600 That came out weird. 282 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,727 I mean I'm about to hurt you, 283 00:14:52,727 --> 00:14:55,105 and you won't be spanking me. 284 00:14:55,105 --> 00:14:57,440 ‐ Oh, this is gonna be epic. 285 00:14:57,857 --> 00:15:00,527 ‐ Back off! ‐ No! You back off! 286 00:15:00,527 --> 00:15:02,153 ‐ You back up first! 287 00:15:04,406 --> 00:15:05,407 ‐ Epic. 288 00:15:05,407 --> 00:15:07,367 ♪ 289 00:15:13,832 --> 00:15:16,251 ‐ Cousin! Come back here! 290 00:15:21,798 --> 00:15:23,425 ‐ Get away from him, 291 00:15:23,425 --> 00:15:25,677 you bitch and/or bastard! 292 00:15:26,928 --> 00:15:28,930 ‐ Mom! What are you doing?! 293 00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:30,056 ♪ 294 00:15:30,056 --> 00:15:33,018 Have you all gone insane?! Get out of here! 295 00:15:33,018 --> 00:15:35,896 ‐ Patrick! A mother always protects her baby. 296 00:15:35,896 --> 00:15:37,606 Her baby... Her baby... Her baby... 297 00:15:41,610 --> 00:15:43,612 ‐ Ah! Whoa! 298 00:15:50,118 --> 00:15:53,079 ‐ Oh. I knew you looked familiar. 299 00:15:54,205 --> 00:15:56,207 ‐ Hey! That's assault! 300 00:15:58,335 --> 00:16:01,171 Have you gone crazy, Patrick? 301 00:16:01,171 --> 00:16:03,506 ‐ Blarney, you're the first thing he saw when he hatched! 302 00:16:03,506 --> 00:16:05,508 He thinks you're his mom! 303 00:16:19,522 --> 00:16:22,108 ‐ Aw. Guess I'm missing something pretty good. 304 00:16:22,108 --> 00:16:24,444 ‐ Blarney! ‐ Blarney! And also the other one! 305 00:16:24,444 --> 00:16:26,905 ‐ I'm so sad! 306 00:16:28,573 --> 00:16:31,076 ‐ I'm so rich. 307 00:16:31,076 --> 00:16:33,662 ‐ I'm so... 308 00:16:33,662 --> 00:16:34,996 wet? 309 00:16:40,085 --> 00:16:42,587 ‐ On the other hand, all dragons look alike to me. 310 00:16:42,587 --> 00:16:46,258 I've killed us both. ‐ Ah! Well, thanks a lot, Patrick! 311 00:16:46,258 --> 00:16:48,510 I was in the prime of my‐‐ 312 00:16:48,510 --> 00:16:51,471 Oh, who am I kidding? I've been dying to pull the ripcord. 313 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,392 ‐ That's the answer! 314 00:16:55,392 --> 00:16:57,936 You beautiful, disappointing lush! 315 00:16:57,936 --> 00:16:59,896 ‐ Hey! ‐ Give me one of your handkerchiefs. 316 00:17:02,857 --> 00:17:04,818 Has anyone laughed at this ever? 317 00:17:04,818 --> 00:17:07,112 ‐ Not even the smallest child. 318 00:17:07,571 --> 00:17:10,365 ‐ I'm gonna blow a hole in this dragon, and we're home free. 319 00:17:10,365 --> 00:17:11,408 ‐ No, you're not! 320 00:17:11,408 --> 00:17:14,661 Wasting booze is party foul number one, brother! 321 00:17:14,661 --> 00:17:16,746 ‐ This... is... 322 00:17:16,746 --> 00:17:19,583 not... a party! 323 00:17:22,085 --> 00:17:24,546 ♪ 324 00:17:26,506 --> 00:17:28,008 ‐ Holy shit! 325 00:17:30,802 --> 00:17:31,845 ‐ What the fuck? 326 00:17:44,024 --> 00:17:47,027 BLARNEY/PATRICK: Ah! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! 327 00:17:47,819 --> 00:17:50,363 ‐ It worked! 328 00:17:50,363 --> 00:17:52,532 We're alive! Oh. 329 00:17:52,532 --> 00:17:55,994 That's the closest I've ever come to giving up on my oath. 330 00:17:55,994 --> 00:17:57,829 I will never tempt fate again. 331 00:17:59,331 --> 00:18:00,957 ‐ Not your finest hour. 332 00:18:00,957 --> 00:18:02,334 ♪ 333 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,129 ‐ Are you okay to fly, my friend? 334 00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:11,718 Yeah, me neither. Come on. There's a great after‐party at the dump. 335 00:18:17,349 --> 00:18:19,893 ‐ You're dumb! ‐ 'Fraid not. 336 00:18:19,893 --> 00:18:23,230 You are, and Vanessa agrees, right, baby? 337 00:18:23,230 --> 00:18:25,148 ♪ 338 00:18:25,148 --> 00:18:27,150 Give her back... ‐ Everybody! 339 00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:30,695 Your so‐called king thinks this children's toy is the queen! 340 00:18:30,695 --> 00:18:33,240 Is this the leader you want? 341 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,033 Say goodbye to your girlfriend. 342 00:18:35,033 --> 00:18:36,993 ‐ You'll address her as Mother. 343 00:18:42,624 --> 00:18:44,292 ‐ No... 344 00:18:47,003 --> 00:18:50,090 ‐ Silly me. Guess that wasn't an exploding one. 345 00:18:53,301 --> 00:18:55,595 Oh, Dad. Jesus... 346 00:18:56,888 --> 00:18:59,558 ‐ Your king has wet himself! 347 00:18:59,558 --> 00:19:00,767 You know what to do. 348 00:19:00,767 --> 00:19:03,770 ♪ 349 00:19:04,771 --> 00:19:08,066 Insolent fools! Don't you remember? 350 00:19:08,066 --> 00:19:10,777 I pee, you pee! 351 00:19:10,777 --> 00:19:12,112 ‐ Twelve years ago, 352 00:19:12,112 --> 00:19:15,574 I made a choice that this man was unfit to lead. 353 00:19:15,574 --> 00:19:17,867 Now, it's your turn to make a choice. 354 00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:21,037 If you disagree with me, you now must pee. 355 00:19:22,247 --> 00:19:25,041 ‐ My pants are dry, Your Majesty! 356 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,295 ‐ My pants are dry, Your Majesty! 357 00:19:31,131 --> 00:19:33,592 ‐ Uh‐huh. I spilled beer on my pants, 358 00:19:33,592 --> 00:19:35,176 so it looks like I peed myself, 359 00:19:35,176 --> 00:19:38,013 but I don't want that crazy old king, Your Majesty! 360 00:19:38,013 --> 00:19:39,681 ‐ My pants are dry, Your Majesty. 361 00:19:45,228 --> 00:19:49,065 ‐ I have never been so proud to be your king. 362 00:19:49,065 --> 00:19:51,026 Or even proud at all! 363 00:19:51,026 --> 00:19:52,694 I won't let you down, 364 00:19:52,694 --> 00:19:54,821 until the next time I let you down. 365 00:19:55,572 --> 00:19:56,948 ‐ Ow! Ow! 366 00:19:57,365 --> 00:19:58,658 ‐ Oh god. 367 00:20:00,994 --> 00:20:03,330 ♪ 368 00:20:04,289 --> 00:20:06,291 Nice ass, Patrick! 369 00:20:11,296 --> 00:20:13,298 ♪ 370 00:20:17,636 --> 00:20:21,431 ‐ All hail the rightful ruler, King Merriman. 371 00:20:21,431 --> 00:20:24,601 ALL: All hail King Merriman! 372 00:20:24,601 --> 00:20:26,686 ‐ Thanks for keeping Crownie safe. 373 00:20:26,686 --> 00:20:28,438 ‐ Thanks for coming back to save me. 374 00:20:28,438 --> 00:20:31,233 ‐ Ah, I was running errands in the neighborhood anyhow. 375 00:20:31,233 --> 00:20:34,236 ‐ I will never let you down again, sire. 376 00:20:34,236 --> 00:20:35,570 OLD KING: Kiss each other! 377 00:20:38,531 --> 00:20:40,825 It's over for you hoes! 378 00:20:43,828 --> 00:20:46,581 ‐ Danielle's a psycho, but I'll miss her, Broth. 379 00:20:46,581 --> 00:20:49,584 Wherever she is, I hope she's okay. 380 00:20:50,835 --> 00:20:52,337 ‐ I hope she's dead. 381 00:20:57,634 --> 00:21:00,637 ♪ 382 00:21:00,637 --> 00:21:02,597 ‐ Oh, fuck my life. 383 00:21:02,597 --> 00:21:05,850 A lifetime of planning, and I was only on the throne for a week. 384 00:21:14,484 --> 00:21:16,611 Oy vey. 385 00:21:17,821 --> 00:21:20,824 ♪ 386 00:21:53,857 --> 00:21:55,692 CHILD: That was amazing.