1
00:00:10,804 --> 00:00:12,514
‐ Need... water...
2
00:00:13,348 --> 00:00:15,183
‐ Oh...
3
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,519
You think they can spare some?
4
00:00:17,519 --> 00:00:19,688
Oh, stop it!
5
00:00:19,688 --> 00:00:22,816
Ah! You're getting me wet and drenched!
6
00:00:26,570 --> 00:00:29,364
‐ Oh! Your Majesties, I think we're here.
7
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‐ Tulip, brace yourself.
8
00:00:32,701 --> 00:00:34,703
♪
9
00:00:34,703 --> 00:00:37,706
We're about to embark on
a harrowing adventure.
10
00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:43,628
A tacky destination wedding.
11
00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:56,933
Remember, we need to impress
King Rami with our newfound wealth.
12
00:00:56,933 --> 00:00:59,519
I made a mess of things
after that, uh, golf weekend,
13
00:00:59,519 --> 00:01:01,521
and we need him back
as our kingdom's ally.
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00:01:01,521 --> 00:01:02,522
‐ Hear that, Blossom?
15
00:01:02,522 --> 00:01:05,025
Everyone must be on their best behavior.
16
00:01:05,025 --> 00:01:08,320
‐ Hear that, Human Shield?
Don't be fucking disgusting.
17
00:01:17,162 --> 00:01:18,872
BROTH:
I can't believe Holden's
18
00:01:18,872 --> 00:01:21,207
gonna marry a prince. Should we say hi?
19
00:01:21,207 --> 00:01:23,668
‐ We're supposed to be working.
‐ Yeah, you're right.
20
00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:25,128
We'll just say hi from here.
21
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:28,089
Holden! Holden! Congrats, buddy!
22
00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:31,384
Squires for life! I hope you
wreck that dude tonight!
23
00:01:31,384 --> 00:01:35,180
Or that he wrecks you! I'm unclear on
your relationship's sexual dynamics!
24
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:37,724
Maybe go for the flippy flop!
See what feels right!
25
00:01:37,724 --> 00:01:39,226
Okay? Mazel!
26
00:01:43,980 --> 00:01:46,650
Well, it looks like
they have a fun chemistry.
27
00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:49,819
‐ Merriman! Glad you could make it!
28
00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:53,156
‐ Now, hold on, Rami.
Before you bring up Chill Society...
29
00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:56,326
Wait, y‐you said
you're glad I could make it?
30
00:01:56,326 --> 00:01:57,452
‐ Of course!
31
00:01:57,452 --> 00:02:00,247
Sorry you just got your
invitation this week.
32
00:02:00,247 --> 00:02:03,208
The guest list was quite full,
until we heard about
33
00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:05,710
your kingdom's reversal of fortune.
34
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,212
Rich now, I hear?
35
00:02:07,212 --> 00:02:08,588
‐ Oh, I don't know.
36
00:02:08,588 --> 00:02:09,923
Am I?
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00:02:12,259 --> 00:02:15,929
‐ I like you with money.
38
00:02:15,929 --> 00:02:17,806
Kill all those waiters.
39
00:02:21,059 --> 00:02:23,895
Anyway, I'll see you at
the rehearsal dinner,
40
00:02:23,895 --> 00:02:26,565
which reminds me.
As a visiting head of state,
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00:02:26,565 --> 00:02:28,692
I'd be honored if you gave a speech.
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00:02:28,692 --> 00:02:31,778
‐ How much time do I get?
30 minutes? 10 minutes? Tight five?
43
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What's the topic?
‐ Uh, the marriage between my son
44
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:38,034
and your squire Holden.
45
00:02:38,034 --> 00:02:41,288
Oh! You're a real gas!
See you at the party,
46
00:02:41,288 --> 00:02:43,164
Moneybags.
47
00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:47,127
‐ Rami just gave me a nickname!
48
00:02:47,127 --> 00:02:49,963
We're becoming BFFs already!
‐ That's great, Sire.
49
00:02:49,963 --> 00:02:52,299
‐ Oh, and now I have to give
a speech at the dinner.
50
00:02:52,299 --> 00:02:54,676
Grab some cue cards
and bring me my dream journal.
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00:02:54,676 --> 00:02:56,011
‐ Yes, sir.
‐ This is great!
52
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And once Rami sees
the wedding gift we brought,
53
00:02:58,555 --> 00:03:01,391
it could seal the alliance
between our two empires.
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00:03:01,391 --> 00:03:03,310
With his blood lust and our money,
55
00:03:03,310 --> 00:03:05,186
we could own the world!
56
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:06,605
‐ Well, that's terrifying.
57
00:03:06,605 --> 00:03:09,232
‐ I need you to be my
right‐hand man this weekend.
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00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:12,402
Your only job is to make sure
this wedding goes off without a hitch.
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00:03:12,903 --> 00:03:16,323
And if you fail,
I'm demoting you to squire.
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00:03:16,323 --> 00:03:18,450
‐ Your Majesty, I am a squire.
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00:03:19,910 --> 00:03:21,995
‐ Patrick, don't joke about that.
62
00:03:21,995 --> 00:03:24,164
Someone might think you're a squire!
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00:03:24,164 --> 00:03:27,375
Oh! Also, who the fuck is Holden?
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00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,755
‐ See you, Mom.
I'm gonna go bet on some strippers.
65
00:03:31,755 --> 00:03:33,632
‐ You can't leave. You must stay
66
00:03:33,632 --> 00:03:35,926
and represent our kingdom with class.
67
00:03:35,926 --> 00:03:38,595
‐ Like you're doing, Wine‐Lips?
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00:03:38,595 --> 00:03:41,139
‐ Getting open‐bar hammered
is expected of a queen.
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00:03:41,139 --> 00:03:44,100
This is my cross to bear!
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00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:46,144
Besides, don't you want to meet the prince
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00:03:46,144 --> 00:03:48,188
that your father and I
arranged for you to marry?
72
00:03:48,188 --> 00:03:50,774
‐ What?! But I'm dating Keefer!
73
00:03:50,774 --> 00:03:51,942
‐ Oh, yes.
74
00:03:51,942 --> 00:03:54,903
Your imaginary
ghost‐slash‐musician boyfriend.
75
00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:56,947
So much potential there.
76
00:03:56,947 --> 00:03:59,532
‐ You should be
happy I'm dating him!
77
00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:01,243
We're practicing abstinence!
78
00:04:01,243 --> 00:04:04,537
We don't want to,
but he's a bodiless poltergeist.
79
00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:07,249
‐ Sorry, darling.
It's already been arranged.
80
00:04:07,249 --> 00:04:09,542
‐ Hence the name.
‐ Ugh!
81
00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:11,336
Move it, you fucking tourist!
82
00:04:11,336 --> 00:04:12,837
‐ Whoa!
83
00:04:14,881 --> 00:04:17,551
♪
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00:04:17,551 --> 00:04:21,137
‐ Ah, my yearly poker shakedown.
85
00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:26,226
"Wanted for card counting, eye stabbing,
86
00:04:26,226 --> 00:04:28,353
and general female trickery!"
87
00:04:28,353 --> 00:04:30,230
Eh. When they're right, they're right.
88
00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:32,732
Lucky for me, I always carry a disguise.
89
00:04:34,359 --> 00:04:35,902
Ha, ha!
90
00:04:38,071 --> 00:04:40,365
MAN 1:
Hey, that's the Pirate Queen!
91
00:04:40,365 --> 00:04:42,033
What the fuck's wrong with her eye?
92
00:04:42,033 --> 00:04:44,119
-Disgusting!
-Get her outta here!
93
00:04:44,119 --> 00:04:46,121
‐ Don't show your face here again.
94
00:04:46,121 --> 00:04:48,123
And fix that eye, for Christ's sake.
95
00:04:54,838 --> 00:04:56,923
‐ We shall now begin the toast
96
00:04:56,923 --> 00:04:59,259
for the wedding between my wonderful son,
97
00:04:59,259 --> 00:05:01,344
Prince Rami V,
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00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,930
and his betrothed, Squire Holden...
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00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:06,641
some‐common‐last‐name‐
I‐can't‐fucking‐remember.
100
00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:08,810
‐ Ha! I'm actually the son of a duke.
101
00:05:08,810 --> 00:05:11,438
‐ Perfect! That takes the sting
out of having your son
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00:05:11,438 --> 00:05:14,900
marry a gay squire.
First up, King Merriman!
103
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:17,777
‐ I'm so nervous.
I haven't done this in a while.
104
00:05:17,777 --> 00:05:19,696
Is the word "taint" still funny?
105
00:05:19,696 --> 00:05:21,489
‐ What?
‐ Of course it is.
106
00:05:22,115 --> 00:05:23,533
Thank you, Rami.
107
00:05:23,533 --> 00:05:26,161
When I found out we were
coming to your sandbox,
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00:05:26,161 --> 00:05:28,121
I was worried about taint‐chafing.
109
00:05:28,121 --> 00:05:31,666
But so far, so taint.
110
00:05:32,751 --> 00:05:33,752
‐ Achoo!
111
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:37,297
Thank you!
112
00:05:37,297 --> 00:05:39,507
Now, on to the happy couple.
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00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:42,344
Webster's Dictionary defines sodomy...
114
00:05:42,344 --> 00:05:44,221
‐ Oh! Jesus.
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00:05:44,221 --> 00:05:46,056
This speech is a trash fire.
116
00:05:46,056 --> 00:05:47,766
I gotta do something.
117
00:05:47,766 --> 00:05:49,434
‐ Oops. Cue cards are down.
118
00:05:49,434 --> 00:05:52,562
No problem.
I'll improvise with some crowd work.
119
00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:54,814
You there, the hot little piece
of ass in the second row,
120
00:05:54,814 --> 00:05:56,483
what's your name, sweetheart?
121
00:05:56,483 --> 00:05:58,401
BLOSSOM:
Princess Blossom.
122
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:00,487
‐ Oh. Uh, the cue cards are back.
123
00:06:01,655 --> 00:06:04,908
Finding that person to spend
the rest of your life with
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00:06:04,908 --> 00:06:06,993
is always worth celebrating.
125
00:06:06,993 --> 00:06:08,703
I wish that your union
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00:06:08,703 --> 00:06:12,249
brings you the same happiness
I have found in mine.
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00:06:16,169 --> 00:06:18,588
Wow. I really slayed up there.
128
00:06:18,588 --> 00:06:20,090
Even though you cut my titty joke.
129
00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:22,676
You know how hard it is to work
a titty joke into a gay wedding?
130
00:06:22,676 --> 00:06:24,553
‐ Merriman, thank you for that...
131
00:06:24,553 --> 00:06:27,180
heartfelt speech.
Let's talk about the alliance
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00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:29,349
between our kingdoms
after the wedding tomorrow.
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00:06:30,016 --> 00:06:33,144
‐ We have to keep impressing Rami!
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00:06:33,144 --> 00:06:34,729
Go to the hotel
135
00:06:34,729 --> 00:06:37,774
and make sure our wedding
gift is ready for tomorrow!
136
00:06:39,234 --> 00:06:40,777
RAMI V:
Dad, come on. I don't want to marry
137
00:06:40,777 --> 00:06:43,947
some swampland duke's kid.
‐ Stop complaining!
138
00:06:43,947 --> 00:06:47,701
You just need to play the part
until tomorrow.
139
00:06:47,701 --> 00:06:48,994
‐ Looking for something?
140
00:06:50,328 --> 00:06:53,039
‐ Patrick, stop pestering my in‐laws.
141
00:06:53,039 --> 00:06:54,958
‐ Prince Rami sounded upset.
142
00:06:54,958 --> 00:06:56,626
Is everything okay between you two?
143
00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:58,420
‐ Of course. We're great. Perfect.
144
00:06:58,420 --> 00:07:00,589
‐ Well, King Rami said something about
145
00:07:00,589 --> 00:07:03,300
"playing the part until tomorrow."
146
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,384
It sounded serious.
147
00:07:04,384 --> 00:07:06,177
‐ You're just jealous
I'm marrying a prince,
148
00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:07,637
and you're still a squire.
149
00:07:07,637 --> 00:07:09,764
Excuse me, I need to go yell at a caterer.
150
00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:12,100
He didn't do anything wrong.
It's preventative.
151
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,769
Jonathan! You call that foie gras?!
152
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,521
♪
153
00:07:21,568 --> 00:07:23,820
‐ Good god, Tulip. You're smashed.
154
00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:26,698
‐ I am? Hooray!
155
00:07:26,698 --> 00:07:28,742
Garçon! This queen requires
156
00:07:28,742 --> 00:07:30,952
more mac and cheese balls, please.
157
00:07:30,952 --> 00:07:33,622
‐ Your eighth cheese ball, m'lady.
158
00:07:33,622 --> 00:07:36,666
‐ And I'll eat eight more...
159
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,129
‐ King Kevin? Is that you?
160
00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:43,715
How the hell did you go
from king to cater waiter?
161
00:07:43,715 --> 00:07:46,259
‐ Oh, it's just plain old Kevin now.
162
00:07:46,259 --> 00:07:48,178
Rami conquered my kingdom.
163
00:07:48,178 --> 00:07:51,014
It was this or the guillotine.
But, you know, it's not so bad.
164
00:07:51,014 --> 00:07:54,226
Unless you're, you know,
serving belligerent royals.
165
00:07:54,226 --> 00:07:55,518
‐ Tulip,
166
00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:58,104
if we hadn't struck it rich,
that could've been us.
167
00:07:58,104 --> 00:08:00,232
‐ How embarrassing for King Kevin.
168
00:08:00,232 --> 00:08:02,067
Oh!
169
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:06,363
"Wanted.
Kill at your earliest convenience"?
170
00:08:06,363 --> 00:08:08,240
Wow. I'm impressed, Ruben.
171
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,533
They hate you in more
places than I thought.
172
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,786
Ah!
‐ Oh! Are you trying
173
00:08:12,786 --> 00:08:14,329
to give me a heart attack?
174
00:08:14,329 --> 00:08:16,998
‐ Why are you in the king's hotel room?
And what the hell is that?
175
00:08:16,998 --> 00:08:20,126
‐ This is the king's wedding gift.
The ancient sarcophagus
176
00:08:20,126 --> 00:08:23,171
Merriman's grandfather
stole from this kingdom
177
00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:24,839
during the Great War.
178
00:08:24,839 --> 00:08:28,093
Merriman is returning it
and wanted me to... glam it up.
179
00:08:28,093 --> 00:08:31,054
Ooh... Ah...
180
00:08:31,054 --> 00:08:32,931
‐ Oh my god...
181
00:08:32,931 --> 00:08:36,268
‐ Right? I'll come back later
to pour on just a few more
182
00:08:36,268 --> 00:08:37,686
dozen rhinestones.
183
00:08:37,686 --> 00:08:40,647
‐ They may have vandalized you,
but I'll look after you
184
00:08:40,647 --> 00:08:42,732
and make sure that this
wedding goes smoothly.
185
00:08:42,732 --> 00:08:44,359
Somebody order
186
00:08:44,359 --> 00:08:46,319
a Ruben sandwich?
187
00:08:46,319 --> 00:08:49,739
Hello, Patrick! Fun joke with
the Ruben sandwich, right?
188
00:08:49,739 --> 00:08:51,616
Did you get it?
189
00:08:51,616 --> 00:08:53,618
Anyway, I'm here to ruin the wedding.
190
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:02,043
♪
191
00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:05,547
‐ You can't be here. They're handing out
wanted posters with your face on them.
192
00:09:05,547 --> 00:09:08,466
‐ Ugh! I know, and I'm sorry
you had to look at that bullshit.
193
00:09:08,466 --> 00:09:10,510
They do no justice to my cheekbones.
194
00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:11,678
Higher! Sharper!
195
00:09:11,678 --> 00:09:13,513
‐ What did you do?
196
00:09:13,513 --> 00:09:15,849
‐ Well, let's just say I may have sent
197
00:09:15,849 --> 00:09:19,144
sexually explicit letters
to the prince's fiancé.
198
00:09:19,644 --> 00:09:21,021
Which is what I definitely did.
199
00:09:21,021 --> 00:09:22,939
‐ To Holden? Why?
200
00:09:22,939 --> 00:09:25,191
‐ It all started last year.
201
00:09:25,191 --> 00:09:27,068
We met in the minotaur's labyrinth,
202
00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:29,571
and shared a beautiful romantic moment.
203
00:09:30,071 --> 00:09:33,575
Ah! Fuck! Ah!
204
00:09:33,575 --> 00:09:36,202
‐ Use the peach! Use it. Use the peach.
205
00:09:36,202 --> 00:09:38,204
Oh fuck! Ah! Ah! Ah!
206
00:09:38,204 --> 00:09:40,707
HOLDEN:
Oh, fuck, that feels good!
207
00:09:41,374 --> 00:09:43,543
‐ Goddamn, what a painful,
beautiful memory.
208
00:09:43,543 --> 00:09:46,463
‐ That was... too much information.
209
00:09:46,463 --> 00:09:49,507
‐ I haven't been able to get
Holden out of my head ever since.
210
00:09:49,507 --> 00:09:51,593
So, I'm here to stop the wedding.
211
00:09:51,593 --> 00:09:53,970
‐ What, just because of some casual sex?
212
00:09:53,970 --> 00:09:56,014
Wait. Do you love him?
213
00:09:56,014 --> 00:09:58,433
‐ What? Who? That asshole?
214
00:09:58,433 --> 00:10:00,602
Ew, gross. No! Fuck him!
215
00:10:00,602 --> 00:10:02,103
You know what? Don't fuck him.
216
00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:04,481
Nobody should fuck him
'cause I fuckin' hate him!
217
00:10:06,775 --> 00:10:10,570
Fine. I love him. Oh, boy!
What is wrong with me?
218
00:10:10,570 --> 00:10:13,490
‐ There is nothing wrong with you.
I know how you feel.
219
00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:16,368
Sometimes, I still think
about Danielle and wonder...
220
00:10:17,619 --> 00:10:20,121
is she out there, thinking about me?
221
00:10:20,121 --> 00:10:23,124
♪
222
00:10:25,794 --> 00:10:27,921
‐ Oh, Patrick...
223
00:10:27,921 --> 00:10:30,674
I am going to kill you.
224
00:10:30,674 --> 00:10:32,801
‐ I love you, too, Danielle.
225
00:10:32,801 --> 00:10:34,553
Why is this door locked?!
226
00:10:34,553 --> 00:10:37,222
‐ Blossom?! Uh, be right there!
227
00:10:37,222 --> 00:10:38,431
♪
228
00:10:38,431 --> 00:10:41,393
‐ Patrick! Did you know my parents
already arranged my marriage
229
00:10:41,393 --> 00:10:44,479
to some butt‐pimple prince?
I mean, like, what about Keefer?
230
00:10:44,479 --> 00:10:47,607
‐ Oh, Blossom,
every teenage girl has her ghost phase.
231
00:10:47,607 --> 00:10:51,027
‐ He's the love of my life!
232
00:10:51,027 --> 00:10:53,280
God!
‐ I know
233
00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:56,741
being separated from
your loved one is hard.
234
00:10:56,741 --> 00:10:58,994
I myself look out at the moon‐‐
235
00:10:58,994 --> 00:11:00,954
‐ Yeah, moon‐shmoon, rainbows and sharts.
236
00:11:00,954 --> 00:11:03,331
I just came in to grab some
bills to hit up the strip club.
237
00:11:03,331 --> 00:11:06,501
Thanks for nothing, Patrick.
238
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,380
‐ I couldn't breathe in there!
239
00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:11,882
And the mummy has a death boner!
240
00:11:13,258 --> 00:11:14,259
♪
241
00:11:14,259 --> 00:11:16,219
‐ Where'd you get that scarab necklace?
242
00:11:16,219 --> 00:11:18,179
‐ What's a scarab?
‐ It's like a beetle.
243
00:11:18,179 --> 00:11:20,390
‐ Then just say beetle. Pretentious.
244
00:11:21,683 --> 00:11:23,435
This? I've always had this.
245
00:11:23,435 --> 00:11:26,146
It's my signature scarab necklace!
246
00:11:26,146 --> 00:11:28,648
But we're focusing on the wrong thing.
How do we stop this wedding?!
247
00:11:28,648 --> 00:11:32,152
‐ Look, I was ordered to make
sure the wedding goes smoothly,
248
00:11:32,152 --> 00:11:34,070
and I cannot fail.
249
00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:35,906
Promise me you'll stay out of sight.
250
00:11:35,906 --> 00:11:38,283
‐ Baby, I'm always out of sight.
251
00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:39,784
Ruben away!
252
00:11:39,784 --> 00:11:41,870
♪
253
00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:45,749
‐ Bravo! Bravo!
254
00:11:50,837 --> 00:11:52,839
‐ Eat my fart! Ah!
255
00:11:59,638 --> 00:12:01,598
‐ Ah!
‐ Ha, ha, ha!
256
00:12:02,933 --> 00:12:04,351
-Ah!
-Ah!
257
00:12:04,351 --> 00:12:06,144
Ha, ha! Fuck!
258
00:12:10,857 --> 00:12:12,275
Woo‐hoo!
259
00:12:12,275 --> 00:12:14,444
PATRICK Ruben!
‐ Hey! Come on!
260
00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:16,112
Ah, fuck...
‐ Patrick,
261
00:12:16,112 --> 00:12:17,697
you're not supposed to touch them.
262
00:12:17,697 --> 00:12:19,991
‐ Who was that?
263
00:12:19,991 --> 00:12:22,827
‐ Ah, just some desperate loser
trying to pass as a stripper.
264
00:12:22,827 --> 00:12:24,871
‐ Oh. Well, he looked like,
265
00:12:24,871 --> 00:12:26,957
um, someone I knew.
266
00:12:26,957 --> 00:12:28,792
Oh well. Back to my fiancé.
267
00:12:31,711 --> 00:12:34,214
Or maybe, I'll just go back to bed.
268
00:12:36,258 --> 00:12:38,593
♪
269
00:12:38,593 --> 00:12:39,678
CORAL:
Okay, Blarney,
270
00:12:39,678 --> 00:12:41,972
I taught you everything
I know about cheating.
271
00:12:41,972 --> 00:12:44,808
Now, just go in there
and win us that jackpot.
272
00:12:44,808 --> 00:12:48,520
It's foolproof.
‐ Oh, I love when something is described
273
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,231
as foolproof, and then it's handed to me.
274
00:12:51,231 --> 00:12:53,525
‐ For the entrance fee. Now, go.
275
00:12:54,985 --> 00:12:57,988
Coral! Oh, you're still here!
276
00:12:57,988 --> 00:13:01,324
Oh wow. I th‐‐ I think I...
I think I lost.
277
00:13:03,535 --> 00:13:05,954
Oh, my dogs! My dogs!
278
00:13:05,954 --> 00:13:08,290
‐ Back to the drawing board.
279
00:13:08,290 --> 00:13:11,293
♪
280
00:13:14,212 --> 00:13:16,339
‐ Patrick, in the spirit
of this gay wedding...
281
00:13:16,339 --> 00:13:20,051
you look a hot mess, girl.
‐ I didn't get any sleep last night.
282
00:13:20,051 --> 00:13:23,346
My brother is trying to ruin the wedding.
We have to keep a lookout.
283
00:13:23,346 --> 00:13:25,515
‐ Say no more. I'll keep watch outside,
284
00:13:25,515 --> 00:13:28,018
and we'll make sure
he doesn't get into this pyramid.
285
00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:31,521
Hey! Sup, Ruben?
286
00:13:32,814 --> 00:13:35,025
‐ Well, Liam, after this wedding,
287
00:13:35,025 --> 00:13:38,111
you'll retire with
a perfect 30‐year record.
288
00:13:38,111 --> 00:13:40,864
And then, you'll drink
this bottle of port that you were gifted
289
00:13:40,864 --> 00:13:43,658
when you officiated
your very first wedding!
290
00:13:43,658 --> 00:13:46,536
And now, to warm up the old vocal cords.
291
00:13:46,536 --> 00:13:49,456
A big black bug bit a big black‐‐
292
00:13:49,456 --> 00:13:50,457
Oh!
293
00:13:51,917 --> 00:13:53,627
♪
294
00:13:53,627 --> 00:13:55,253
‐ You again?
295
00:13:55,253 --> 00:13:57,881
Stay out of my way, you human bumper car!
296
00:13:57,881 --> 00:13:59,132
God!
‐ Blossom,
297
00:13:59,132 --> 00:14:01,593
this is Prince Anthony Junior,
298
00:14:01,593 --> 00:14:03,428
your future husband.
299
00:14:03,428 --> 00:14:05,347
‐ You're the butt‐pimple prince?
300
00:14:05,347 --> 00:14:08,850
‐ I'm AJ, the Mattress King's son.
I'm mostly in sofa beds.
301
00:14:08,850 --> 00:14:10,936
You can call me the Pull‐Out Prince.
302
00:14:10,936 --> 00:14:12,729
‐ Okay.
303
00:14:12,729 --> 00:14:15,190
Well, you're funny. I'll give you that.
304
00:14:15,190 --> 00:14:17,943
‐ King Rami insists that your family
305
00:14:17,943 --> 00:14:20,570
sit up front during the ceremony.
306
00:14:24,658 --> 00:14:27,494
‐ Rami, this is the richest relationship
307
00:14:27,494 --> 00:14:28,995
I've ever been in.
308
00:14:28,995 --> 00:14:30,705
No, no. Um...
309
00:14:30,705 --> 00:14:32,958
You make me feel secure...
310
00:14:32,958 --> 00:14:35,585
financially. Terrible!
311
00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:37,629
I wish you wouldn't have
sex with other dudes,
312
00:14:37,629 --> 00:14:40,840
but I do like it when you buy me
pretty gifts to make up for it.
313
00:14:41,633 --> 00:14:43,677
Oh, I'm a whore.
314
00:14:43,677 --> 00:14:44,511
♪
315
00:14:44,511 --> 00:14:46,972
‐ Holden, time's running out
316
00:14:46,972 --> 00:14:49,849
on the rest of your life.
317
00:14:49,849 --> 00:14:51,643
‐ Ah! Are you here to kill me?
318
00:14:52,269 --> 00:14:54,104
‐ Damn it. That was
supposed to be romantic.
319
00:14:54,104 --> 00:14:56,439
‐ Ruben? What are you doing here?
320
00:14:56,439 --> 00:14:58,567
‐ We belong together.
321
00:14:58,567 --> 00:15:00,277
When I'm fucking you,
322
00:15:00,277 --> 00:15:02,904
it's like I'm fucking myself.
323
00:15:02,904 --> 00:15:05,073
It's literally all I've ever wanted.
324
00:15:05,073 --> 00:15:07,951
‐ Don't you think I know that?
We're the same!
325
00:15:07,951 --> 00:15:10,412
That's why you should
understand I'm marrying Rami!
326
00:15:10,412 --> 00:15:12,163
I'll be a rich prince,
327
00:15:12,163 --> 00:15:15,500
and I know deep down
you'd do the same! I'm sorry!
328
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,127
♪
329
00:15:17,127 --> 00:15:19,629
We'll always have that time
330
00:15:19,629 --> 00:15:21,756
we boned each other's brains out.
331
00:15:21,756 --> 00:15:24,301
‐ No... What...
332
00:15:24,301 --> 00:15:27,137
Oh god!
333
00:15:27,137 --> 00:15:28,597
Why?!
334
00:15:35,562 --> 00:15:37,606
‐ Who needs special wine when you've got
335
00:15:37,606 --> 00:15:40,317
a perfect record on
the line, right?
336
00:15:40,317 --> 00:15:42,277
Please take your seats,
and we'll get started.
337
00:15:42,777 --> 00:15:45,906
Care for a program?
‐ What is that guy wearing?
338
00:15:46,615 --> 00:15:48,783
What the...
‐ Care for a program?
339
00:15:48,783 --> 00:15:50,660
‐ Aren't you King Kevin?
340
00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:53,747
‐ Shh! It's just plain old Kevin now.
341
00:15:53,747 --> 00:15:56,625
I was king.
Now, I experience the living hell
342
00:15:56,625 --> 00:15:59,377
known as the service industry.
‐ How did this happen?
343
00:15:59,377 --> 00:16:01,922
‐ Rami invited me to his grandson's bris.
344
00:16:01,922 --> 00:16:05,258
Next thing I know, I'm locked up
and my kingdom's invaded.
345
00:16:05,258 --> 00:16:08,511
Didn't you read the fine print
on your save the date?
346
00:16:08,511 --> 00:16:10,972
‐ "Invitation to come."
‐ Look closer.
347
00:16:12,182 --> 00:16:15,185
‐ "Invasion to come"?
348
00:16:17,646 --> 00:16:20,232
♪
349
00:16:22,275 --> 00:16:24,194
It's a coup!
350
00:16:25,278 --> 00:16:26,780
Oh, right.
351
00:16:30,075 --> 00:16:32,494
♪
352
00:16:34,329 --> 00:16:37,332
‐ Patrick, sit down.
You will not upstage me.
353
00:16:40,377 --> 00:16:43,672
‐ I have to save the Royal Family.
354
00:16:43,672 --> 00:16:45,715
♪
355
00:16:49,678 --> 00:16:53,890
‐ Gentlemen, I'm afraid you'll find
that there's no room at the inn
356
00:16:53,890 --> 00:16:55,559
because this house
357
00:16:55,559 --> 00:16:57,269
is full!
358
00:16:57,978 --> 00:17:00,855
‐ Sir, that is only four cards.
359
00:17:00,855 --> 00:17:02,399
‐ Oh shit. Where'd I put that other card?
360
00:17:02,399 --> 00:17:03,233
Achoo!
361
00:17:03,233 --> 00:17:05,360
Oops, sorry! I've had a cold lately.
362
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:06,361
Achoo!
363
00:17:07,737 --> 00:17:10,490
I'd like to call a do‐over.
Damn it, Blarney!
364
00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:12,492
♪
365
00:17:12,492 --> 00:17:14,744
‐ Security! Arrest this clown...
366
00:17:14,744 --> 00:17:17,080
‐ First touch I've had all year!
‐ ...and that slot machine.
367
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,915
‐ Too late, boys.
368
00:17:18,915 --> 00:17:20,125
See you all in hell!
369
00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:22,544
Ah! Oh...
370
00:17:22,544 --> 00:17:25,005
♪
371
00:17:25,005 --> 00:17:27,465
‐ Oh, what do I do?
What do I do? What do I do?
372
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,135
Stop the wedding!
373
00:17:34,014 --> 00:17:36,600
‐ I have...
374
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,060
so many feelings!
375
00:17:39,060 --> 00:17:41,187
Yet I... do not...
376
00:17:41,187 --> 00:17:43,481
know what to do!
377
00:17:46,276 --> 00:17:47,485
Interesting.
378
00:17:47,485 --> 00:17:49,529
It seems we have captured the man
379
00:17:49,529 --> 00:17:52,407
who's been sending you
pornographic love letters.
380
00:17:52,407 --> 00:17:54,492
As an early wedding present to the grooms,
381
00:17:54,492 --> 00:17:57,996
I sentence this man
to immediate execution!
382
00:17:57,996 --> 00:17:59,748
‐ What?!
383
00:17:59,748 --> 00:18:02,083
♪
384
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,464
Holden! Remember the peaches!
385
00:18:07,464 --> 00:18:09,257
:
Peaches... peaches... peaches...
386
00:18:09,799 --> 00:18:12,260
‐ Rami, I do care for you...
387
00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:14,846
...r money. But,
I'm in love with someone else.
388
00:18:14,846 --> 00:18:17,766
‐ Alright! Everyone calm down!
389
00:18:17,766 --> 00:18:20,518
I was going to wait until
the end of the ceremony,
390
00:18:20,518 --> 00:18:23,063
but since the groom
is getting cold feet...
391
00:18:23,063 --> 00:18:25,482
Guards! Capture our new servants!
392
00:18:25,482 --> 00:18:27,400
‐ Ooh! New servants. Thank god.
393
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,445
King Kevin is terrible.
‐ He put a pineapple in my martini.
394
00:18:30,445 --> 00:18:33,031
‐ The new servants are us, you idiots!
395
00:18:34,032 --> 00:18:35,909
‐ You were a fool to come here, Merriman.
396
00:18:35,909 --> 00:18:38,912
My kingdom would never
join forces with yours!
397
00:18:38,912 --> 00:18:41,122
And I would never...
398
00:18:41,122 --> 00:18:43,124
be friends... with you.
399
00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:45,794
‐ But... you gave me a nickname!
400
00:18:45,794 --> 00:18:47,963
You said you loved my speech!
401
00:18:47,963 --> 00:18:50,340
‐ All lies. Your speech was terrible.
402
00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:52,133
You hit on your own daughter!
403
00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:55,053
‐ Patrick wrote most of it!
I wanted to do a titty joke!
404
00:18:55,053 --> 00:18:56,888
Here, I'll just tell you it now.
405
00:18:56,888 --> 00:19:00,392
A woman walks onto a tomato farm
and falls tits‐first into some red paint‐‐
406
00:19:00,392 --> 00:19:02,352
‐ So, this whole wedding was a sham?
407
00:19:02,352 --> 00:19:04,771
‐ You really thought
a prince with this ass
408
00:19:04,771 --> 00:19:07,148
would marry a squire with your ass?
409
00:19:07,148 --> 00:19:08,984
You were nothing but a pawn!
410
00:19:08,984 --> 00:19:11,111
A pawn with an ass so flat,
411
00:19:11,111 --> 00:19:13,238
I called you Stupid‐Flat‐Pancake‐Ass‐Pawn
412
00:19:13,238 --> 00:19:15,699
in all of our secret overthrow meetings.
413
00:19:15,699 --> 00:19:18,201
‐ Jesus, so much ass‐based criticism!
414
00:19:18,201 --> 00:19:20,036
‐ Take the Royal Family to be fitted
415
00:19:20,036 --> 00:19:22,330
with their new servant shackles!
416
00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:25,166
‐ Wait! Before we do anything rash,
417
00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:28,795
let's... not forget... about... uh...
418
00:19:29,254 --> 00:19:31,298
Merriman's wedding gift!
419
00:19:32,048 --> 00:19:34,217
It was supposed to reunite our kingdoms.
420
00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:38,388
‐ Your kingdom steals
my great grandfather's remains,
421
00:19:38,388 --> 00:19:41,850
defaces his coffin,
and then tries to give it back to us
422
00:19:41,850 --> 00:19:42,934
as a gift?!
423
00:19:42,934 --> 00:19:45,395
‐ Okay, culturally sensitive it is not,
424
00:19:45,395 --> 00:19:47,439
but I bet the inside's better!
425
00:19:49,858 --> 00:19:51,192
Nope. Much worse.
426
00:19:51,192 --> 00:19:53,320
‐ You have committed the ultimate insult!
427
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,530
You shall be executed!
428
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:57,282
‐ Uh... W‐wait!
429
00:19:57,282 --> 00:20:00,243
These beautiful symbols
haven't been spray‐painted over.
430
00:20:00,243 --> 00:20:03,496
Let us never forget
the famous words... Uh...
431
00:20:03,496 --> 00:20:05,832
"Eyeballs winking, dog on a hamburger bun,
432
00:20:05,832 --> 00:20:07,626
eyeballs winking, sideways vagina‐‐"
433
00:20:07,626 --> 00:20:09,586
‐ No! Stop it!
434
00:20:09,586 --> 00:20:11,004
‐ I know my accent is terrible.
435
00:20:11,004 --> 00:20:13,590
"Hockey stick, butter knives,
frog with a broom
436
00:20:13,590 --> 00:20:16,176
sassy turtle, and guy
doing the Running Man."
437
00:20:19,179 --> 00:20:21,348
‐ Merriman! Your idiot squire
438
00:20:21,348 --> 00:20:23,391
read the Sacred Text of the Undead!
439
00:20:23,391 --> 00:20:25,518
‐ Ah! Ah!
440
00:20:27,812 --> 00:20:30,398
‐ Why must I be so irresistible?!
441
00:20:30,899 --> 00:20:34,027
‐ This wedding is a shit show.
At least it's only one mummy.
442
00:20:42,994 --> 00:20:45,455
‐ Well, we should probably
get the fuck outta here.
443
00:20:46,539 --> 00:20:48,500
‐ Hey! Put me down,
444
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:50,669
you necrophiliac's wet dream!
445
00:20:50,669 --> 00:20:52,629
‐ Hey, son of a bitch!
‐ Come on!
446
00:20:52,629 --> 00:20:56,049
‐ Wait! I always pull out!
447
00:20:56,049 --> 00:20:58,593
‐ You are a lot of fun.
448
00:20:58,593 --> 00:20:59,844
♪
449
00:21:01,096 --> 00:21:03,932
‐ Ha, ha!
‐ Rami, why did you do all this?
450
00:21:03,932 --> 00:21:06,935
‐ To get your kingdom's money!
You don't deserve it.
451
00:21:06,935 --> 00:21:08,687
You ruined Chill Society,
452
00:21:08,687 --> 00:21:11,773
and you're a terrible king!
Pretending to be your friend
453
00:21:11,773 --> 00:21:14,943
was the most disgusting
thing I've ever had to do!
454
00:21:19,239 --> 00:21:20,782
‐ You want my money, Rami?
455
00:21:20,782 --> 00:21:23,034
Well, here it is!
‐ Ah!
456
00:21:23,034 --> 00:21:26,246
Ah! Trapped by the help!
457
00:21:29,457 --> 00:21:31,585
‐ Ruben! It wants the scarab!
458
00:21:31,585 --> 00:21:32,752
‐ What's a scarab?
459
00:21:32,752 --> 00:21:35,338
‐ We are not doing this again!
Throw me the necklace!
460
00:21:37,757 --> 00:21:40,802
‐ Now, go! Save your love.
461
00:21:46,391 --> 00:21:48,560
‐ I'm sorry, Holden.
You're just not my type.
462
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,521
I like twunks. It's a cross
between a twink and a hunk.
463
00:21:51,521 --> 00:21:52,647
They're young and fit!
464
00:21:52,647 --> 00:21:54,649
‐ I am young and fit!
465
00:21:54,649 --> 00:21:56,818
‐ Ah... Gah! Ha, ha!
466
00:21:57,903 --> 00:21:59,404
Ruben away!
467
00:21:59,404 --> 00:22:01,448
‐ Ah!
468
00:22:01,448 --> 00:22:04,451
‐ You're not getting
out of here alive, boy.
469
00:22:04,451 --> 00:22:07,495
‐ Uh, um... Hyah!
470
00:22:09,331 --> 00:22:12,500
At least somebody's getting
head at this wedding!
471
00:22:15,003 --> 00:22:17,339
Oh god, I am completely numb to violence.
472
00:22:21,176 --> 00:22:23,845
‐ No sign of Ruben yet, Patrick.
‐ Get the camels ready!
473
00:22:28,850 --> 00:22:31,978
Never mind! Just fucking run!
474
00:22:33,688 --> 00:22:35,607
♪
475
00:22:35,607 --> 00:22:39,402
‐ Well, we finally caught Coral,
the cheating Pirate Queen.
476
00:22:39,402 --> 00:22:43,073
‐ I am really gonna enjoy
carving your other eye out.
477
00:22:43,073 --> 00:22:46,243
‐ Hey, Coral, what do you
think is the most unlikely way
478
00:22:46,243 --> 00:22:48,995
we could get out of this predicament?
479
00:22:53,875 --> 00:22:55,961
Huh. I would've guessed aliens.
480
00:22:55,961 --> 00:22:57,963
‐ Come on, Blarney, let's go!
481
00:22:59,381 --> 00:23:02,842
‐ Merriman! You'll pay for this!
482
00:23:02,842 --> 00:23:04,844
When you least expect it,
483
00:23:04,844 --> 00:23:06,972
I will destroy you!
484
00:23:06,972 --> 00:23:09,641
And your kingdom will be mine!
485
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,563
♪
486
00:23:21,152 --> 00:23:24,155
♪
487
00:23:24,864 --> 00:23:28,034
‐ Well, that was about
as much of a clusterfuck
488
00:23:28,034 --> 00:23:30,287
as most destination
weddings turn out to be.
489
00:23:30,287 --> 00:23:32,372
‐ Did you see those centerpieces?
490
00:23:32,372 --> 00:23:35,458
Oh! Talk about tacky.
491
00:23:35,458 --> 00:23:37,294
‐ I think we're gonna be invaded soon.
492
00:23:39,337 --> 00:23:43,091
‐ Goodbye, Blossom. I look
forward to getting to know you better.
493
00:23:43,091 --> 00:23:45,719
Mwah!
‐ Oh...
494
00:23:46,469 --> 00:23:48,847
‐ You must be excited
to get back to Keefer.
495
00:23:48,847 --> 00:23:51,975
Blossom?
‐ Back to who now?
496
00:23:55,729 --> 00:23:57,981
‐ Ah, come on, guys!
497
00:23:57,981 --> 00:24:01,192
We have 18 hours ahead
of us on this camel!
498
00:24:01,192 --> 00:24:03,653
Let's all try to be cool?
499
00:24:03,653 --> 00:24:06,072
‐ Let him watch.
500
00:24:06,072 --> 00:24:07,866
‐ Ah...
501
00:24:10,660 --> 00:24:13,663
♪
502
00:24:46,696 --> 00:24:48,531
CHILD:
That was amazing.