Subtitles by explosiveskull
Maddy knew who she was from a very early age.
For as long as Maddy could remember, everybody loved her.
She never knew exactly what it was.
She just knew that she had something special.
Something intangible. Something immeasurable.
And it gave her confidence.
That's why she loved pageantry,
because you didn't have to be the prettiest, or the tallest,
or the blondest, or the whitest.
You just had to have fucking confidence.
And she probably would have gone on to win Miss Universe.
If it weren't for this guy.
A beauty pageant coach, Marcus Cutler,
was arrested today on 18 counts of child molestation.
That's it, you're done. No more pageants. This is sick.
Her dreams were dashed by some random 50 year old creep who didn't molest her,
let alone ever meet her.
She refused to eat for a week out of protest.
But then she realized how much she liked not doing anything.
Maddy would never say it out loud,
especially not today because everybody's so political,
but she never really had any desire to have a career or job.
She was just interested in doing what she did,
just without school and the other bullshit.
Her mother was an esthetician,
which is a fancy way of saying she gave pedicures to rich people.
And her dad was a drunk who was always pretending
to hold jobs longer than he did.
She quickly realized that there are two kinds of people in the world.
The people who sit in the chairs, with their feet in the foot bath.
And the people who kneel in front of the foot bath.
She used to sit and study the women who came in.
She'd pay attention to what they wore and what they'd talk about.
And what she realized was that none of them actually did anything.
I mean, they may have had children to raise or like, homes to decorate,
but at the end of the day, they literally did nothing.
They literally did nothing.
And strangely, none of them had confidence.
She had had a thing for Nate for a while before he finally asked her out.
At first he was a gentleman. Like, flowers every day kind of gentleman.
And he was smarter than most guys.
Maddy.
Plus Nate like, really loved her.
- I love you. - I love you too.
And she did love Nate. She loved her relationship with Nate.
She was also a really good girlfriend.
Granted, she didn't always tell the truth.
Are you a virgin?
Because the truth-truth is that when she was 14,
on vacation in Panama City Beach, she met a guy who was like, 40.
Hey, you from around here?
Which in retrospect, seems kind of rape-y and weird,
but honestly, she was the one in control.
Yeah.
She could tell by looking in Nate's eyes how much it meant to him.
- Like fully? - Yeah.
That she was 100% his.
What about, like, have you ever been fingered?
Only on my own.
Plus it's not like anyone could feel the fucking difference.
But that's the thing about guys like Nate.
They don't actually want a person.
They want something they can own and possess.
Like Sharon Stone in Casino.
But the cool thing about Sharon Stone in Casino
is that she ran the fuck over De Niro.
I'd fucking kill for that coat.
- And she did the same to Nate. - How much do you think it costs?
Seriously, Sharon Stone in Casino was like, Maddy's spirit animal.
She also watched a lot of porn.
Not because it turned her on or anything, it didn't.
But if you analyzed it really closely, there were a ton of really good secrets.
Sometimes during sex she would imagine
she was a ventriloquist controlling her body,
moving her hips and arching her back in just the right way.
She wanted Nate to feel good about the way he fucked.
Because if you make a guy feel confident and powerful...
- Well, they'll do anything. - That one.
- I got you a present. - Really?
Yeah, after dinner. It's in the car.
Oh, my God, it's perfect.
- I fucking love you. - I fucking love you too.
She did worry about the whole monogamy thing though.
It's not like she ever, cheated-cheated.
Every now and then she'd find herself, in like, a gray area.
- I'll do anything to fuck you. - You're sweet, but no.
Except for that DJ who said he opened for Calvin Harris.
And that stockbroker guy with the family who lived on Oak Street.
And the hot dude who ran the roller rink.
But honestly, those were all times when Nate and her were on a break.
Plus, Nate could be a real asshole.
And sometimes, Maddy fantasized about punching Nate.
But because of who he was as a person, she was afraid he'd hit her back.
Especially because he was coming to terms with his sexuality.
You're fucking dead to me.
It's like, the root of a lot of violence.
And when she got home that night, she felt sick to her stomach.
Like enough to throw up.
It wasn't the violence that scared her.
It was the fact that she knew, no matter what he did,
she'd still love him.
Nothing in the world comes close to opiates.
A good ES 7.5 Vicodin? Fuck.
But honestly, the best thing I've ever had is Fentanyl.
There's not a thing on planet Earth that compares to Fentanyl.
Except Jules. Jules is a close second.
Jules. Jules. Jules. Jules.
And you know what would be better? Jules and Fentanyl.
But I can't do both, because Jules won't have me.
So for now, I'll choose Jules.
- Rue, dinner's ready. - Okay.
- Are you coming? - Yeah. No.
Yeah. For... Yeah, for dinner.
- Just give me a second. - Okay.
You two have a good time at the carnival?
- Yeah. It was cool. - It was all right.
- Rue said you got sick on the Gravitron. - I don't wanna talk about it.
So Jules slept over last night?
Yeah, so?
- Are you two in a relationship? - I don't know. Yeah. Kind of.
It may not matter what I think. But I really like her.
Me, too.
Baby, just take your time, you've come a long way.
You're delicate.
- I'm not delicate. - Yes, you are.
It's fine, Mom. We...
We had a very long conversation about everything, and...
We're just gonna take things really, really slow.
Yo, looks good. You ready?
- How bad does it hurt? - It doesn't hurt at all.
It's all good, I've been doing this for years.
I love you, Rue, but there's no fucking way I'm doing that.
I didn't know what happened the night Jules met Tyler.
I knew it wasn't good. But I was afraid to pry.
And selfishly, things had been going really well.
Show me exactly where the hold-up is.
Granted, after the carnival, things got really fucking weird.
Hey, can I call you back? Slow down.
Slow down, what's happening?
I'll meet you out front.
Thank you for coming down, Mr. Jacobs.
- Do you mind telling me what's going on? - Let's talk once we get inside.
- Cal, you okay? - Yeah. Give me a second.
Now what had happened was that morning, Maddy went to school.
What are you, the Unabomber?
- What are you, a dominatrix? - No.
- I didn't mean for real, bitch. - Obviously.
- Seriously, are you okay? - Yeah, I just have my period.
- Okay, bye. - Bye.
And Maddy's first class was Intro to Calc in Room 202.
Which, unfortunately, was in the upper left wing of the school.
Is the air conditioner like, not working?
It's broken. You could always take off your hoodie.
Now, if it was a normal day, Maddy would have just taken off her hoodie.
But since Nate choked her...
Maddy woke up three hours early, applied more concealer than a burn victim,
and tried her best to cover up.
To compound the problem, she also suffered from a drop in serotonin
from the Molly she took at the carnival.
Got depressed, and therefore hadn't had anything to eat or drink
the entire weekend.
Plus, she actually was on her period.
Maddy? Maddy?
She's in here!
I'm fine.
Why is everyone like, so dramatic?
Obviously, you've been through a lot this weekend.
But my real concern is the bruising on your neck.
There is no bruising on my neck.
- The paramedics saw it. - Yeah, well, they're lying.
Madeleine, look...
I understand that you may be afraid to talk about how you got hurt.
But I want you to know that it's not your fault.
I'm trying to find a really respectful way to say this,
but this doesn't concern you.
It does concern me, Madeleine. You're 17 years old.
If I suspect that you are being abused, I am mandated by law to report it.
Is it someone you know?
Was it Nate Jacobs?
All I know is she, like, knocked over a giant pot of chili
and called his mother the c-word.
I mean, he did like, grab her by the arm.
Yo, straight up, that chick is crazy.
But do you know why Nate and Maddy were fighting?
I don't wanna talk until I get a lawyer.
You're not being charged with anything.
- Look. Nate's gay. - I'm being serious, Barbara.
No, I'm telling you, he's actually gay. That's why Maddy was upset.
I don't know about the carnival,
but I do know she smashed some dude in the pool at McKay's.
Smashed?
- That's why he attacked the new girl. - What new girl?
The one who cut herself.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Mr. Jacobs, can you please come with me?
- What? - Come with me.
- You wanna tell me what the problem is? - Don't worry, we will.
What was that about?
Probably because Nate tried to kill Maddy.
What?
Because she found all the gay porn on his phone.
- Who told you that? - You did.
- When? - At the carnival.
Okay, Lexi, never repeat that, because, literally, none of that is true.
Daniel, I can't. I'm sorry.
I just... I'm dating somebody and I really don't wanna fuck it up.
It's cool. Don't worry.
I just like you, and I kind of thought you liked me.
I do. I just...
I have a boyfriend.
Please don't say anything.
If I promise to not say anything, can we hang out again?
- Hey, did you get my texts? - No.
Really? I sent you a bunch of texts.
I didn't get them.
It says like delivered on my phone.
Look, I really don't want to talk about this right now.
Wait, are you for real?
Did I like, do something?
I don't know, Ethan, did you?
So the night of the carnival, while fucking Luke Kasten,
Kat had an epiphany.
She was fucking Luke Kasten.
Luke motherfucking Kasten.
And for those of you who didn't go to East Highland...
Luke Kasten was a fucking God.
I mean, he graduated years ago and people still talk about him.
He has the biggest dick I've ever seen.
And I was looking at him while he was fucking me,
I can see his face scrunching up, and he was cumming all over my stomach,
and I had this, like, realization. You know, like this epiphany.
That no matter how cool or sexy or smart, you think a guy is,
they're actually just fucking pathetic.
It's true, KittenKween.
By the way, if you wanna cum, I put a body harness on my Amazon wish list.
- I may need you to buy it for me. - Yes, KittenKween.
- Can I be honest with you? - Always.
- What I realized is that like... - Where're you going?
...my whole life, all I've tried to do is take up less space.
- To the mall. - Tried to hide from guys like,
who might like, whisper to their friend, under their breath, as I walked by.
I spent my whole life afraid people were going to find out that I was fat.
But honestly, who gives a shit.
I'm so in awe of you, KittenKween.
There's nothing more powerful than a fat girl who doesn't give a fuck.
Hey.
- I thought you weren't from around here. - I'm not.
I get off work at 7:00. You wanna hang out?
Why are you suddenly being so mean?
You don't understand, Mom, he didn't do it.
- Then who did? - It wasn't Nate.
- Maddy stop lying. - I'm not lying!
I'm not gonna let this son of a bitch attack my daughter and get away with it.
- Right? - Absolutely.
He needs to know that there are consequences.
- Mom! - I would like to press charges.
- You're not fucking pressing charges. - I am gonna press charges.
- No, you're not pressing charges. - This is for your own good.
- No, you're not pressing charges. - Okay.
I will have to press charges.
- Are you okay, Mr. Jacobs? - I'm fine.
Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs. Thanks for getting here so quickly.
So it appears that your son and Ms. Perez
had a physical altercation on Saturday night,
in which he allegedly strangled her.
- What? - There are multiple eye witnesses.
Ms. Perez has extensive bruising. And her family will be pressing charges.
There must be some misunderstanding.
This doesn't sound like something my son would do.
I would like to talk to the Perez family.
Actually, Mr. Jacobs, I think it would be best for you
to speak with your son before we take him to the station.
He's just this way.
Did you do it?
Not really.
- Did you admit to it? - No.
Did you do it?
No.
That's good to hear.
Her family's going to press charges.
- Fuck. - Hey.
Listen to me.
You need to stay composed. Don't get angry. Don't make a scene.
You walk out of this school with your head held high.
Look at me. Hey, look at me.
What's about to happen to you, to me, to our family,
is not gonna be easy.
You walk out first. I'm right behind you.
Come on.
I love you.
Okay. One, what was that about?
Two, can we talk about the fact that you fucked Nate's dad?
Rue, swear to God, like on your life that you will never tell anyone.
- That you fucked Nate's dad? - I'm serious.
This is like...
Even if you decide you hate me one day. Like, you can never tell anyone.
- Why would I ever hate you? - That's not the point.
Seriously, this is some go-to-your-grave shit.
I promise!
- Do you think Nate knows? - No. Why would Nate know?
Well, when you went up to the chili booth, Nate was there.
Did he look like he knew?
No, like, literally, like I didn't even notice.
Nate's scary.
The whole fucking family is scary.
I don't wanna have this conversation.
You know what'd be amazing?
If they paid you off with a bunch of money,
and then we'd do a bunch of really cool shit.
Rue. This is not a joke.
I don't know why Jules didn't trust me. Or why she'd think I'd ever hate her.
There's literally nothing in the world that Jules could do to make me upset.
I even told her that.
- Yeah, right. - No, for real. It's true.
So like, do you have a lot of one night stands?
Define a lot.
- Like more than five? - Yeah.
- More than 10? - I don't know.
More than 20?
- Why does it matter? - It's just a question.
Who cares?
Is the sex, like, good?
I don't know, it's like, it's not even the point, you know?
It's more about, like, everything that leads up to it.
That's the good part.
I mean you've had one night stands, right?
No.
But you've, like, hooked up with people that you just met, right?
Not, not like... I don't know.
Wait. How many people have you slept with?
- Not many. - No like, what's your number?
This is so embarrassing.
I had my first kiss at the age of 12,
with a boy I didn't really like, but I just wanted to get it over with.
I gave four hand jobs in eighth grade,
two blow jobs in ninth, one of which I was emotionally coerced into.
I'm literally going to tell the entire school that you sucked my dick,
so you might as well just suck my dick.
And there was the time that Lexi got asked to the Freshman formal
by Tucker Blake, and I tried to teach her how to French kiss.
Is this like, really weird and uncomfortable for you?
No, not really.
Okay. I'm gonna get ready.
Also, at 15,
I ate two xannie bars, drank a beer, which is super dangerous,
and lost my virginity.
- Did you cum? - Yeah.
Weird.
You look like you came hard.
All I know is, life is not a Nicholas Sparks novel.
- That's it? - Yeah. That's it.
Wait, so like, have you ever been in love?
Fucking pigs! Fuck you!
Hi Maddy, I'm detective Riley.
I understand this is traumatic, but you're going to have to cooperate.
If you literally step any closer I will fight you.
Miss, this is procedure, I need you to remove your sweater now.
And if you don't, we will remove it for you.
Really, bitch? How?
- Calm down. - Take a deep breath, take a deep breath.
- Look, we don't wanna hurt you. - Get off of me.
- Please. - Relax.
There we go.
I know you're really upset right now, and you don't want to hear this.
But trust me when I tell you that the person that did this...
...doesn't love you.
So you grabbed her?
I grabbed her by the arm to drag her away, I didn't choke her.
I asked her why she was acting that way and what she was doing.
I don't want to get her in any trouble, but she had taken a lot of drugs.
- What drugs? - I don't want to get her in trouble.
She's not going to get in any trouble.
Molly.
- As in MDMA? - Yeah.
But I don't know if it was pure. I don't do drugs. So I don't know.
And after that conversation,
was that the last time you spoke to Ms. Perez that evening?
Yeah.
I know we don't have the healthiest relationship.
I know that.
My dad's always telling me that she's a distraction and he's right.
I love her, I really love her.
No matter how crazy she acts, no matter what she does, I love her.
It's kind of embarrassing to admit, but...
In the times when we've broken up,
I know for a fact that she's been with other guys.
And it's possible that, that night...
It doesn't matter.
- What were you gonna say? - It doesn't matter.
I love Maddy.
And I wouldn't do anything to hurt her.
The fallout from Nate's assault was swift.
We're suspending your son until the investigation is completed.
- But that could take months. - And harsh.
East Highland football team has a zero tolerance policy.
I am a survivor of abuse.
It took me 10 years to admit that.
Because the most insidious symptom of abuse,
is the inability to admit that what you are enduring is not normal,
not okay, and not love.
Those are the moments that keep me up at night.
Thinking about all the times that I ignored that voice in my head.
You know, they told me, "What are you doing?"
And what happens a month, six months, a year,
when she moves away, and goes to college?
When she tells you she just wants to be friends?
- You mean “if.” - No, Rue, I mean “when.”
I mean, I don't know we talked about living together.
Like, if she goes to school in New York, I'll just go with her.
- I'll go anywhere she goes. - I think you're missing my point, Rue.
Nothing in high school lasts forever.
You should meet her.
Go ahead, Rue.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Hey, everyone. I'm Rue, and I'm an addict.
Hi, Rue.
I guess, I just wanted to make amends with everyone.
Because most... Every time I've shared, I was lying.
Yeah, every time I've collected a chip,
whether it be 30 days, or 60 days, or 90 days, I was lying.
But I met someone.
And she's helped.
And now I want to stay clean.
And shit! Maybe that's... Maybe that's me being selfish.
And Ali just scared the shit out of me
because he told me that it wasn't gonna last.
And, fuck, you know what?
Maybe you're right.
But I really, really, really, hope you're wrong.
Because I've been clean for 13 days.
And it's been okay. I've actually been really happy.
So...
Yeah, I don't know, I guess that's why I wanted to come here
and tell you guys the truth.
Thank you.
So is this like a friend thing with Rue? Or is it like a...
I don't wanna talk about it.
I'm just wondering.
Are you two, like, a thing?
No, we're not a thing. I don't know what a thing is.
Because I've been thinking, you know, if it was...
If you two were a thing,
we could all just do, like, a family thing together.
Maybe go out to dinner or something.
No, I don't want to go to dinner with you and Rue. I'm sorry.
Why, because you're embarrassed of me or is it because you're a thing?
- You're hilarious. - Fair enough.
Is she still going to meetings?
That's great.
You're a good influence.
McKay had heard the news about Nate.
He had a bunch of dick pics on his phone.
And was like what? Sending them to other girls?
No. McKay, it wasn't his dick. It was other guys' dicks.
I'm confused. Who told you that?
What dick pics?
The ones you told me about, on his phone.
I don't know if your brain is all scrambled from all the Molly you take.
But I never said that.
If you ever spread a lie like that, I will fucking come for you.
- We good? - Yeah.
Anyway, look, Cassie.
I'm really sorry about what happened the other night at the carnival.
It's okay.
No, I should've said something to Nate.
It just really hurt my feelings.
I mean, I feel like you weren't proud to be my boyfriend.
Cass.
Give me a kiss.
I'm proud to be your boyfriend, trust me.
- I'm sorry, too. - What do you have to sorry about?
I love making music. Yeah, I mean, but to be honest,
I don't think I'm good enough yet to like, just do music.
But that's like, my dream, you know, whatever.
- What about you? - What about me?
You look like you're creative or something, you know.
- Creative? - Yeah.
I don't know, just like the way you dress and stuff.
I just thought you might be an artist or something.
Look, if you want to hook up we can hook up.
- I wasn't expecting that. - Really?
I was just making conversation.
I think that's my point, you really don't have to.
Maddy wasn't doing well.
Over the course of the last five days,
Maddy had sent Nate a total of 273 text messages.
None of which he answered.
Plus, everyone in her life was against her.
It's not real love, Maddy.
- Who the fuck are you to judge? - Don't swear!
Seriously, Mom, Dad has slept on the couch since I was 10 years old.
- Don't be cruel, Maddy! - I'm not.
I'm just saying, love is a million things.
Sometimes it feels good and sometimes it doesn't.
The one thing I know is that Nate loves me no matter what.
He'd fucking kill for me, and I'd kill for him.
It feels good to know that there's one person in this whole fucked up world
who has my back.
You think I want this?
You live in the same house and you don't even say one word to each other.
That's the difference between me and you.
You're right. I felt the exact same way about every person I ever dated.
The same!
Kat, I need to come over like right now.
- I'm not home. - What? Where are you?
With a... friend.
- Who? - It doesn't really matter.
I'm in the middle of something, can I call you later?
Can you blow them off, please? I really need you right now.
I can't, I gotta go.
- Sorry about that. - It's all good.
So, like...
Fuck. It was just...
That was really good.
Seriously, that was like...
one of the best blowjobs I've ever had.
One more time, okay? One more time.
- Rue seems really good. - Yeah. She does.
It's because of you, you know?
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom. - Okay.
I'm so sorry I'm late, my landlord is just such a fucking cocksucker.
You know, that type of person that, like, just tries
to get under your skin for like no reason?
Whatever, you don't care. I can breathe.
Oh, my God. You're actually hot.
Can I...
Would you like a glass of champagne?
Honey, no, I don't do alcohol.
You from around here?
I'm from planet Venus, baby.
I'm Minako. But all the boys call me Mina.
I'm...
Can you please stop the music?
Jeez, what is up with you?
- You wanna popper? - No.
Well, then what do you want?
I just want to talk for a little bit.
What do you want to talk about?
I've just had a really long week.
- Wife? - No.
- Kids? - Yeah.
- Boys or girls? - Boys.
Do you think this stuff affects them?
Even if they don't know it?
I don't know.
You think hiding it creates the same thing in them?
Honey, I don't know. Everyone knows who I am.
You know...
I've spent my whole life trying to keep this part of me separate.
But I feel like it's poisoned everything.
I thought that I was doing what was best for everybody.
And then I look at my boys and they have so much anger.
Not just anger...
...but rage.
And it scares me.
Because it's too late.
It's always gonna lived inside of them.
All of problems you have, baby...
...I'm here to fix them.
All that bad energy, you can give it to me.
I can handle it.
I think we never do this anymore.
Yeah.
- You wanna stay the night? - Ah, I should probably go home.
Okay. Is it cool if I just go with you?
Yeah, sure.
Chris.
What's up, bro?
Yeah, I'm with her right now. What's up?
Can you please can tell Maddy to download Signal?
Fuck him!
Hey, handsome.
Subtitles by explosiveskull