Throughout the history of America,
there have been windows of time where anyone could strike it rich.
Take the gold rush.
Prohibition.
Cryptocurrency.
It's all about timing.
And Jules had found her window of opportunity.
It's like dating, except you get paid.
How much?
Depends on how rich they are.
But then, they expect you to fuck them.
Yeah, but no more than any other guy.
It all started back in art school with her roommate, Vivian.
Hold out for as long as possible
till the money's right.
I don't know. It sounds sketchy.
Yeah.
Well, the good thing about rich people is they actually have something to lose.
Money.
Besides, it beats working retail.
Anything's better than retail.
Jules' first date
was with a 48-year-old lawyer named Rick.
I don't normally do this kind of thing, you know, so.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
But my therapist says that I have severe intimacy issues.
It's not funny. I've never had a girlfriend.
Never?
I don't know, I find sleeping next to a woman
makes me claustrophobic.
So, look.
That's for dinner.
But if you want to...
come back to my place after this, I could be way more generous.
He had a very specific fetish.
Nylons.
All he wanted was to lick her tights and jerk off.
Oh, you love it. I know you love it.
I love it.
All I have to do is see this guy twice a month,
and he pays my rent?
Told you.
Oh, I'm gonna clean up.
There was Randy, a Hollywood producer who had a net worth of 50 million.
Closer to 200 million. Can't publicly list it.
Don't wanna get fucked up the ass by the IRS.
There was Henry, a run-of-the-mill finance guy.
I know the volatility in the market has spooked our clients.
We've been doing this a long time, and this is not our first...
rodeo.
Mm-hmm.
And then, there was Ellis.
A plastic surgeon.
I do what God didn't.
Same with you.
-That's one way to put it. -Well, is there another?
We defy the natural order of things.
Age. Gravity.
-Sex. -Exactly.
No fun to be helpless.
Mm-hmm, and to not evolve.
When did you transition?
Fourteen.
That's why you're poreless. Never went through puberty.
It's beautiful.
Your breasts are natural?
For now.
What would you change about 'em?
I don't know, you're the expert.
From here, they look near perfect.
Near perfect?
Anything can be improved.
You have a family?
I do.
Sorry if I...
What?
Made you uncomfortable?
Oh, I...
I slice women open for a living.
There's very little that makes me uncomfortable.
Does your wife know you do this?
Go on dates?
Fuck trannies?
Dessert?
-Thank you. -Bon appetit.
You first.
Is it good?
Delicious.
My wife knows I have certain proclivities.
Behaviors.
Behaviors?
Weaknesses.
And she's okay with it?
You marry the best parts of a person. Hopefully, you can tolerate the worst.
That sounds sad.
It isn't.
Do your parents know what you do?
Go on dates?
Sell yourself?
Definitely not.
What do they think you do?
Go to art school, paint.
Live off $750 a month.
-That seems difficult. -It is.
Are you good?
At what?
Painting.
Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
What did you think I was asking?
Dad, no, I'm okay. Everything's fine.
I'm just saying, I don't think
I need to go to art school to be an artist.
It's like a waste of time.
I make money hostessing.
Literally, all Viv and I do all day...
is she's sculpting and I'm painting.
And I feel like I'm, like, learning more
from just being in my space and working on that
than like anything that they're teaching me in class.
She was making more money than she ever imagined.
And eventually, he became the only client she saw.
All her fears about making it as an artist disappeared.
I just might keep you forever.
Yours truly was working her way up.
First up, we got our G19.
It's affordable, dependable, with a smooth black finish.
It's the go-to gun for the everyday man. No muss, no fuss.
It's light as a feather.
Now, next, from our submachine gun line,
we have the APC.
Now, it's got a four-and-a-half-inch barrel,
fully deployable stock, and it's perfect for concealment,
whether under a trench coat or maybe for the missus' sundress.
It's affectionately known as the spray-and-pray.
That's right, it's got a cyclical rate of about 1,000 rounds per minute,
so you're gonna wanna hold on tight.
Ten of those.
Ah.
See, I knew you'd say that. But before you make any decisions,
let me just introduce you to my personal favorite.
Now, this is for those who wanna intimidate with style.
Okay, this...
is the AR-15.
I know a lot of Americans have very strong feelings about guns.
But if it's any consolation,
the majority of the weapons I was selling...
were headed to Mexico.
Pleasure doing business with you, hombre.
At least Alamo appreciated me.
There she is.
My employee of the month.
You know, you said I'd get 3% commission, so.
You see, now I like that.
That's that ambition right there. You keep it up, young buck.
Hey, you know, I'm trying to work my way up and go legit.
Legit?
Yeah.
So, you don't think what you're doing is legit?
I mean, do you think what we're doing is legit?
Legit's a funny word.
What does it even mean?
I mean, I think it just means legal, right?
Hm.
You know history?
Not particularly.
Take the numbers racket. The people used to run that
out of clubs just like this,
till the government came in and shut it down.
Said it was illegal. Sent niggas to prison.
But did that make it go away?
-Did it? -Hell, no.
They just made it bigger. Mm, took it over for themselves.
Can't set foot in a gas station or a corner store without seeing lotto,
-lotto, lotto. -Lotto. Yeah.
Whole motherfucking lot of lotto, right?
What's that tell you?
I don't really know.
What was once illegal...
is now legit.
-Yeah. -That's what I was gonna say.
Question is...
where's all that money go?
They say it funds the education system.
That what they say?
Yeah.
And these kids are just getting dumber and dumber.
Something ain't adding up.
-You know? -I know that's right.
That's what I'm saying.
Do you have a moral problem with what you're doing?
What? No, I'm cool. I'm, like, cool.
-You sure? -Yeah.
Let me tell you something, young blood.
Hm.
Come here.
The only thing that matters is power.
And how do you get power?
Money?
Bingo. And what are you doing?
Making money. Okay.
Bingo.
So, what the fuck are you complaining about?
Little Miss Legit.
Mm. Shit.
This bitch done cross the motherfuckin' line.
The girls, they traumatized.
Technically, they're tit for tat with the pig.
-We started it. -We didn't start, she started it.
You happen to notice who wasn't dancing tonight?
Tish, 'cause Laurie motherfucking killed her ass.
-Fair point. -It's a beautiful pig.
What that cracker-ass cunt love most in this world?
Shit, her La-Z-Boy.
Anybody can get a damn La-Z-Boy.
I'm talking about breaking her heart.
I'm a perfect little guy.
Look at this.
What a good day.
What a good time out here.
Look at all this.
You're my perfect little baby guy.
Paladin.
-Paladin? -It's her parrot.
She has a parrot named Paladin?
Yeah, she loves that fucking thing.
Hm.
Maybe it's time we paid Paladin a visit.
Who invited me to the wedding?
Meanwhile, I had made plans with Jules.
Me.
I don't think they're gonna want me there.
Yeah, well, I want you there.
Well, you're not getting married, they are.
Yeah, but they gave me a plus-one,
so that means they trust me to bring whoever I want.
Rue, I haven't seen Nate or Cassie since they graduated.
Yeah, but you're not going for them. You're going for me.
I don't know.
I'm your sugar daddy now.
Dress sexy.
Maddy didn't know what she wanted more...
to get in between Nate and Cassie, or make a little money.
Dude.
-Dude. -Hold on.
What's going on?
Something's wrong.
He didn't even come home last night.
-Wait, where was he? -That's what I wanna know.
-He's probably nervous. -About what?
He didn't do anything. Don't step on the dress!
Fred had diarrhea the whole week leading up to our wedding.
You think diarrhea's bad? Try getting a divorce.
Oh, my God, Mom!
I can't believe she had the nerve to show her face.
I saw a little more than her face.
Stop.
I didn't expect to see you here.
I didn't expect to be here.
She's my plus-one.
Who is that?
I think she's an old friend of Nate's.
Hm. I don't remember her.
She's a good girl. She's better than most.
I remember waiting to walk down the aisle
towards your father, just like today...
filled with hope and aspirations,
and all the smiling people.
They were so joyous.
Please rise for the bride.
And there I was...
never realizing it was the last happy moment
I'd share with your father.
God.
I looked so beautiful.
Before I started looking like an anorexic witch.
Band was playing a happy tune.
And who would have expected we'd have such terrible arguments.
I mean, disappearing for days on end.
And as I marched down the aisle, like we're doing now,
it never occurred to me, the brutality...
of the man that I never knew before.
It's like, how could I be so naive? Misjudging?
I mean, it's not like a mistake you can fix.
You are everything to me.
You are my masterpiece.
Go get him.
Do you, Cassie, take this man, Nate,
to be your lawfully wedded husband for as long as you both shall live?
I do.
Do you, Nate, take this woman, Cassie,
to be your lawfully wedded wife for as long as you both shall live?
I do.
Nate, Cassie, I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
Nate, you may kiss the bride.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
What time?
Okay.
Alright, well, I look forward to seeing her.
The girl sticks bowling balls of dope up her butthole.
Yeah, and then you put it up your nose.
She ain't the relationship type.
You just mad 'cause I got to her first.
God damn.
What, she fuck all your brain cells out?
No.
I just got off with Alamo.
He appreciate us returning the pig?
Apparently, he's sending Rue to do a pick-up.
You don't find that weird?
Well, he runs a whorehouse, so he's gotta keep his women doped up.
Shit, I mean, maybe we should kidnap her.
-That's not a bad idea. -Why the fuck not?
Why the fuck not?
-Why the fuck... -Could be fun.
I do miss her.
Can't believe they actually got married.
I thought it would be depressing, but I was kind of moved.
Yeah, it looked like they were in love.
I like the dress.
-Yo. -You got a run to Laurie's.
I'm kind of, like, at a wedding right now.
I'm not asking.
Sh-- okay...
Yeah, yeah, no, I'll be there. Okay.
Hey, Jules, don't hate me.
-What? -I gotta go. It's a work thing.
-What? -Yeah, it's fine. But I'll be back.
-No, we're here. -I know, it's cool.
Don't worry. You can be my plus-one.
We ready?
Pinch your nipple.
-Shit. -Pull out...
Something seemed off.
I had a hard time believing it was business as usual.
But it wasn't like I could say no.
You look beautiful.
I look chubby, it's humiliating.
Oh, no, it'll get thinner as it melts.
But I don't want my boobs to melt too quickly.
Right here, guys.
I wanna go congratulate them.
Maybe wait a few weeks.
I don't want to be rude.
It's not rude.
-Should we go? -Me?
-Yeah. -No.
-Come on. -No.
Why not?
I feel love.
Mostly by my scotch.
Oh.
-Oh, look at that. -Okay, well...
Hey, waiter, round three.
Is that BB?
She's pregnant?
How much you wanna bet she doesn't know who the baby daddy is?
Hi!
-Hi! -I missed you so much.
How are you?
Aw. Did you change your number?
I'm Cal Jacobs.
Most of you know me.
Some have probably heard about me.
That's the past.
-Alright. -Get ready to take the mic.
Tonight, I'm the proud father of the groom.
Nate, you and I have been through a lot.
We have.
But I always believed in you.
You're a winner.
Look at your wife.
I mean, who in here can say they married better than him?
Oh, goddamn straight, baby.
Alright. I'm gonna keep drinking.
You keep drinking.
Nate, I love you.
-Tequila soda, please. -You got it.
Remember me?
How could I forget?
It's not every day you fuck one of your son's high school classmates.
And record it.
Ah. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm very sorry about that part.
Are you?
It wasn't for distribution purposes.
I just wanted to jerk off to it, you know? Relive the experience.
When I heard you got arrested,
I kept expecting the cops to call me.
Yeah, there was a video I got busted for.
Fucked a guy who was two-and-a-half months away
from turning 18.
Lied about his age, just like you.
But somehow, your video never made it to the police.
Someone must have been looking out for me.
Can't say the same.
I copped a plea deal,
ended up on the fuckin' sex offender registry.
So, like, you're one of those red dots?
Modern-day scarlet letter.
Can't even drive by a fuckin' school.
Have fun looking for an apartment when you're on that list.
I'm surprised you still talk to Nate.
Ah, it's easier than being alone and angry.
You're about to receive a collect call
from an inmate at a California correctional facility.
Press one to accept the charges.
Fez?
Bro! Bro, I fucking miss you, bro!
I just wish everyone didn't think I was a pedo.
You do like 'em young.
But legal.
You cut it a little close though.
Ehh. Youth is beautiful.
Who wants to fuck an old person?
I guess sometimes I do.
You don't mind the cellulite? The fucking skin tags?
I think I like the perspective.
Perspective? I call that youthful idealism.
You know, high school, best years of our lives.
I couldn't disagree more.
Well, for what it's worth,
you still look fantastic.
Thank you.
Have fun.
Hi.
I'm Marsha. Mother of the groom.
You know, as a mom of a boy, you sometimes you gotta bite your tongue.
You know, when he brings home a girl that you know isn't right.
Yeah.
And that happened. Yeah. But then he found Cassie.
And we love her so much.
And I just wanted to say thank you, everyone,
for making it here to celebrate
the new Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs, because we're divorced.
I just wanted to say I love you guys.
Welcome to the family. Raise your glasses, please.
Love you guys. Thank you. Mwah.
When you came down the aisle, I just burst into tears.
Oh, thank you.
So sweet.
Hey.
You know, I've never seen so many flowers in my life.
I was just gonna call you back, but everything with the wedding got crazy.
I'm trying really hard not to be offended.
My invitation must have got lost in the mail.
Oh, that was probably my fault.
I was doing all the invitations. What's your name?
Nassim. Naz for short.
-I'm Cassie. -Nice to meet you.
Now, but if you don't know who I am,
how could you be sorry for not inviting me, huh?
Hey, why don't we go talk
-somewhere privately, you and I? -Sit down.
Don't you think it's a little foolish to throw such a lavish party
when you owe so many people money?
Up, now.
Alright, what's...?
I just heard Nate owes someone
-a lot of money. -Owes?
It's okay. I have the money.
You may have the money.
-I don't have the money. -What money?
What do you think? I'm just some punk that you can bullshit?
No. No, no, no. No, not at all, Naz.
-Not at all. -Really? I mean,
I see champagne, I see lobster, I see black caviar.
We chose the menu six months ago.
And did you pay for this fucking thing six months ago?
-What are you talking about? -Some guy just threatened him.
He had an accent. Russian, I don't know.
I promise you, I will get you every last dollar.
You know, you always promise, but you never say when.
When do you promise?
Because promise without when,
it's just useless exchange of words.
What is going on?
I'm in the middle of my wedding.
-Nate, who is this guy? -It's okay.
You know, I used to be your husband's friend.
Now, I'm gonna become his worst fucking nightmare.
I'm sure it's a misunderstanding, sweetheart.
We gave him money. A lot of fucking money.
I know, I know. Let's bring the anxiety down.
Okay? I'll talk to him.
Enjoy this moment.
It's okay.
It's totally fine.
Hey, is everything okay?
Of course. It's my wedding day.
Okay. I was just asking.
What a weird question to ask on the best day of my life.
I love you.
Let's give it up...
-Smile. Smile. -...for Nate Jacobs
and his beautiful, smokin', hot-to-trot, foxy mama...
Cassie Jacobs.
I do not feel good about this.
Alright!
What did he mean by nightmare?
Baby, it's nothing.
Just remember your steps.
Smile.
-How much money do you owe? -We'll be fine, baby.
We just have to downsize a little.
Downsize?
I do not want to downsize.
Trust me. I love you.
I don't wanna be poor.
Don't cry. Smile.
Yeah, sexy!
Escape?
What the fuck are you talking about, escape?
How are you gonna do that?
Parkour? Like the fucking-- the people who, like, jump off shit and shit?
That's how you're gonna escape?
What the fuck, bro? Are you serious?
Yeah, I feel you.
How 'bout this? If you do get out
using, what, fucking parkour or whatever the fuck,
I'll come pick you up myself.
Bless, bless, one love. Love you, bro.
Be safe, alright?
Everybody, "to the window."
When I was in the middle of construction,
right, they find a white fritillary,
shut the whole development down.
-A what? -A white fritillary.
What is that, a fucking bird?
No, it's a flower. It's an endangered flower.
But the whole thing's on pause so the city can find out
-how to move this fucking thing. -One flower?
Oh, it's more than one flower.
It's like half a dozen flowers. But I'm fucked.
I'm burning through money right now, Fred.
Let me hear you shout, "What, what!"
It's all making sense.
-What? -You and your little porno site.
I deleted that.
-Nate put you up to it? -What? No.
He's pimping out his wife for wedding decorations?
No, I did that.
So, you knew he was broke?
He's broke?
You can look it up, you can google it,
this is a real thing, a white fritillary.
Can you fucking believe it? A flower, Fred.
I don't know what to believe anymore.
I got a meeting with the P&Z in a couple of weeks, alright?
We're gonna win this case, Freddie.
Don't fucking lie to me.
Hey.
He might owe some people some money, but he's definitely not broke.
He's very successful.
He's not. He's successful at fucking conning people.
Freddie, say it, say it with me. Say it with me. Fuck the flower.
-Fuck the flower. -That's right.
-Fuck the flower. -Fuck that flower.
We invested our kids' college funds.
And what does that have to do with me?
In the meantime, tell your wife, "Please, just shut the fuck up."
-I'll take care of my wife. -Okay.
Alright. Take care of this.
You have my word.
-Fuck that flower. -Fuck that fucking flower.
Congratulations, dude.
Fuck.
Nice car.
I'll follow you.
Okay.
You're not gonna do anything fucking crazy, are you?
Define "crazy."
Gun.
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
That was cute.
Come on in.
Hi, you've reached the office of Madeleine Perez.
Please leave your name and number at the tone--
You are the last person I expected to be here.
I came here with Rue and Maddy.
Oh.
What happened to 'em?
Rue had, like, a work thing.
And I think Maddy got a little more emotional
than she anticipated.
You love who you love.
Thank you for coming.
Sure.
Ruby Bennett.
I didn't realize you'd be bringing company.
Alamo would like you to know
that he could start buying from your competitors.
He even finds them less unsavory.
Okay, well, I would like Alamo to know that I don't care
if he buys from J. Edgar Hoover.
We're not hurting for customers.
He prefers your prices.
Then what the fuck we talking about?
Quality control.
Alamo insists we test everything.
Fine by us.
Faye, grab some of the kits.
-Go on, get. -Yo.
Faye's allowed in the basement?
Yeah, 'cause that's my lady.
Boy fell for the local mattress.
What's this beautiful bird's name?
Paladin.
Incredible.
Do you like animals?
I love them.
Fuck, I love those fuckin' lips.
-Mm. -Bet you could suck
a golf ball through a garden hose.
You're just jealous.
Of what?
Catching AIDS?
One more word, I'll knock your fucking teeth out.
Okey-dokey, faggot.
We really miss you around here.
What would it take to get you to come back?
I don't know.
Profit participation?
I mean, honestly, I'm really happy working for Alamo.
That doesn't make me feel good.
I'm sorry.
Remember,
the grass is always greener by the septic tank.
I don't even believe in marriage.
A hundred years ago, they would have sold me
for three healthy cows and a parcel of land.
Are you a virgin?
It's better than herpes.
Ahh.
You're not who you say you are.
Cass, come on, come here.
You want me to be the perfect housewife?
You want me to cook, and clean,
-and suck your cock? -Cassie, people can hear you.
I mean, we don't even have money for food.
We have money for food.
You're not a man.
Men provide.
Cassie, all I do is provide for you, baby.
-Come on, sit down. -Oh, so now it's my fault?
I'm the reason you're conning all of your fucking neighbors?!
Is that what you're fucking telling everyone, Nate?
You're just fucking lying! All you do is fucking lie!
You lie and you lie. Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie!
Ow!
Fuck!
Dude, I know you're pissed,
but I'm pretty sure that was just an accident.
It's like a pressure thing, you know? Corks just pop off.
See?
Some dreams do come true.
Aw.
I know you're upset.
I just didn't want to tell you before the wedding.
I wanted it to be the most beautiful day of your life.
Well, it was the worst.
Yep.
And I got us into this mess.
Mm, and I promise you, I am gonna get us out of it.
There is no obstacle, Cassie Jacobs, that I can't get over.
Especially with you by my side, baby. I...
I love you.
I am so grateful to call you my wife.
And every day, you make me want to be a better man.
You make me wanna be a better husband.
And, you know, hopefully...
someday a father.
I love you, Cassie Jacobs.
Even if I can't see out of this fucking eye right now.
Well, you deserved it.
Eh...
Maybe. Maybe.
Now, when we get home...
I'm gonna pick you up.
And I'm gonna carry you across the threshold,
take you upstairs to our bedroom...
and I'm gonna make love to you.
If that's okay.
I guess that's okay.
And when we wake up tomorrow...
It'll be a new day.
What are you doing?
Taking a souvenir.
You name him after Richard Boone?
I didn't know Blacks liked westerns.
Yo, Bishop, we're good.
It's not a Black and white thing.
It's cowboys and Indians.
Civilized man versus the savage.
And which are you?
I'm a motherfucking cowboy.
Gun, please.
Bye, guys.
Good to see you.
That's so mean!
How romantic.
That was a beautiful wedding.
I didn't want to cause a scene.
Naz.
Can we talk about this?
-Fuck. -Nate?
Nate!
No!
I'm bleeding!
This is my wedding night.
He doesn't wanna listen to reason.
He doesn't ever wanna listen.
No! No! No! No!
Don't cry, it messes up your makeup.
It's already messed up.
This is so unfair!
It was supposed to be the best day of my life.
What are you doing?
Please, please, please!
What are you doing? No!
What is happening right now?
Please! Please, please, please.
I have your money.
I'm gonna get your money. Please, no.
Stop.
Please!
I just need a couple of days. I just need a couple of days.
You mean, like the honeymoon period, huh?
Yes! Yes. Yes.
Unfortunately, your honeymoon's over.
You know, Cassie, some women inherit wealth,
but others inherit debt.
And the angel of the Lord appeared to him
in a flame of fire from the midst of a bush.
So, he looked, and behold, the bush was burning with fire,
but the bush was not consumed.
Then, Moses said...
Fuck.
Shit. Fuck.
Ruby Bennett?
Yeah.
DEA.
Step out of the vehicle with your hands above your head.
Nice and slow.