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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
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The Jocks got our food and water.
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And they took Jaden,
Girl Jaden, Gabriel, Zoey,
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Severe Bangs Carly,
Other Gay Josh, and Jaden.
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Don't blame us.
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We tried murderlizing Josh
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so this wouldn't happen.
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- That's a confession.
- Pssh.
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I didn't say blit.
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You said you tried to kill Josh.
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- Not what I said.
- It is.
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Then you misheard me.
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I recorded it.
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We tried murderlizing Josh
so this wouldn't happen.
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That's been fully edited.
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If you're looking for bad
hombres, then look around.
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These kids are here illegally.
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They didn't come through an
authorized port of entry.
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They didn't apply for asylum.
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This is an invasion.
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I trusted you.
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We were friends.
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You know how you'd do
anything for Sam Dean?
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I get that.
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It's just...
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You don't know Turbo the way I do.
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What else have you lied to me about?
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We should make sure Triumph
is still locked up.
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I'll go check.
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All right.
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What are we gonna do about them, Josh?
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Why are you asking this dope?
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Josh is such a wuss,
his cock dropped off,
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hitchhiked to San Diego,
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and is now getting a realtor's license,
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all just to get away from Josh.
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Why are you asking me?
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Because we trust you.
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What...
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I don't know what to do
about these assholes.
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Look, I'm not a judge or a lawyer.
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I'm just a kid, same as Turbo, except...
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Turbo's a spoiled brat who
throws temper tantrums.
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He is never gonna leave me or us alone.
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I don't know how, but we need
to take him out for good.
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Glendale, latitude
34.1425 degrees North,
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longitude 118.2551 degrees West,
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to USS Michigan SSBN 727
Port of Washington.
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Do you copy?
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This is Angelica Green.
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I'm trying to reach Dr. Winifred Green.
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Do you copy?
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00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,259
Mommy?
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Hello?
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I did something awful.
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I lied to my friend Josh.
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I disguised a dead body
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to look like his girlfriend.
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I wanted him to be safe and stay
with me so I wouldn't be alone.
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He's gonna be so mad
at me if he finds out.
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What do I do?
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00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,973
Do you know what happened
to Little Red Riding Hood
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when she went traipsing
to Grandma's all alone?
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She was eaten by the Big Bad Wolf.
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Oh, my God! Really?
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00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:54,398
I've been reading this book,
but there are pages missing.
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Did you eat the pages?
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00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,281
Josh told me what you're doing.
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00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,413
You cannot go to the
cereal factory alone.
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There could be...
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a wolf dressed as Grandma.
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You're right.
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Turbo needs to go.
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And now is the perfect time to do it.
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When he's injured, hit by
an arrow during the battle.
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00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:43,108
Unfortunately, these
mall kids are pure priss.
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They're not even the kids who
got picked last for kickball.
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No, these are the kids who had a
doctor's note to get out of gym
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because they're allergic to dander.
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You speak English?
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We are in America.
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- English?
- Look,
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we all do what we need to do to survive.
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00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:02,421
Suburban whities ignore anyone who
doesn't look and sound like you.
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People say anything around me
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because they think I
don't understand shit,
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and that nets me information.
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Intel is the only real currency
that anyone can trade on.
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You wanna take out Turbo?
You need a tribe with skills.
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English?
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00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,077
We got a snake up in our house, y'all.
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00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:17,245
Someone shot Turbo Bro
Jock with an arrow.
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00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,379
If you are the filth who
tried to topple Turbo,
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00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:22,918
'fess up.
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If you know who this stabber of backs
is or have heard any whispers,
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you best to raise your hand and spill.
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00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,562
So that's how this is gonna go?
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You are all guilty
until proven innocent.
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All are punished!
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Court is now in session, motherfuckers!
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00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,092
I play a lot of games,
102
00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:09,715
but want to know how
I know you're for real?
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I'm not gonna brain my cousin
just 'cause you kissed me.
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00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,608
I'm not trying to manipulate you, Wes.
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00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,485
Getting one off is my pre-game warmup.
106
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,697
Get in a sick cardio blast,
and it releases dopamine.
107
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,413
It's like real science and shit.
108
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:41,412
I like when you talk smart.
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I'm not dumb.
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No, I know, but you
did think that Hawaii
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and Alaska were next to each other.
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That's how it looks on the map.
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And you thought a cosine
was getting your maid
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to sign your math homework.
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I know sports, okay?
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And sports statistics,
sports quotes, and toys...
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and sports.
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Okay, maybe I didn't get
my dad's smart genes.
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You did get his handsome DNA.
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Please tell me that he's not
some rich, Simba-hunting douche.
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No.
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No, my dad...
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00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:25,583
So he used to be, like,
this mega tax lawyer,
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but after my mom died,
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he decided he needed to make
the world a better place.
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00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,132
So he got AIDS drugs to
kids in South Africa.
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He was third chair in
the war crimes trial
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for Slobodan Milošević at The Hague.
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He helps children
detained at the border.
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He's on the board of WHO,
and PATH, and UNICEF,
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00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:45,809
and the ACLU, and the NAACP, and YMCA.
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00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:49,935
He's done work for Pope Francis,
Nelson Mandela, Malala Yousafzai,
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the Obamas, the Clooneys, the
Dalai Lama, Kaepernick, LeBron...
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00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,739
- There's someone else I'm forgetting.
- Who? God?
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00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:58,823
No.
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Oprah.
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Damn! He coming to the game?
138
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:07,328
No, he's, um... He's saving displaced
Syrian orphans for the UN.
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00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,340
He does whatever it takes
to protect the kids.
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I'm gonna go to the mall
for my pre-game ritual:
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00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:25,596
grab a 5-hour and a Slim Jim.
142
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:27,440
Let's go for a walk.
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00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,355
Yeah, walking's a good workout.
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Increases the flow of
blood to the brain.
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You want to know how
I know you're for real?
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You are gonna take us
all the way to state.
147
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You're a winner.
148
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:05,891
You wanna kill Turbo? Follow me.
149
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:39,944
That wasn't Chinese.
150
00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:41,027
It's Dothraki.
151
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:43,451
I also know Na'vi, Elvish,
and a little Hebrew.
152
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,584
The JCC had a good preschool.
153
00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:12,880
You've got some nerve, KJ,
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after the shit you pulled in Frogtown.
155
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:28,534
Josh, meet Aria Killigan and her
elite strikeforce, The Game Overs.
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00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,127
These are assassins?
157
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:42,974
You play video games.
158
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,798
We're a combat-ready unit.
Check out our Ghoulie kill-count.
159
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,215
Jonah Hill's kind of an easy target.
160
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:51,564
Fat Jonah Hill, sure, but
skinny Jonah Hill is agile AF.
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What were his last words?
162
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"I'm friends with Brad Pitt."
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00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,270
- Of course.
- You can't be for real.
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This is like a ten-year-old's
birthday party
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playing games on Nerf mode.
166
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,649
We're online in elite arenas.
167
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,315
The bombs didn't knock out satellites.
168
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,033
We're playing across the globe.
Korea, Norway, Brazil.
169
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:08,994
We're not the only only ones left.
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There's a whole wide world.
171
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Is it... is it the same everywhere?
172
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Like just kids, no adults,
173
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,880
or do they have adults like
Baron Triumph and the Witch?
174
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:21,751
Are there animals mutating? Do
they know why this happened?
175
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,957
Why the bombs went off,
or why we survived?
176
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:28,365
What's the mission?
177
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:30,045
Liquidate Turbo Bro Jock.
178
00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:31,307
Fuck off.
179
00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:33,098
- Don't get shook.
- No.
180
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,602
High School taught us one thing.
181
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,980
There are winners, and there are losers.
182
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,063
The best way to live: don't pick sides.
183
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:40,112
That's why gamers are anonymous.
184
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:42,779
Don't forget who pulled you
out of the shit in Encino.
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You owe me.
186
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,363
You do this, you're off my books.
187
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,985
Fine. We'll help you.
188
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:57,115
Let's just feed him and
get the fuck out of here.
189
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:13,179
Don't worry.
190
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,139
He's locked up.
191
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,075
I should've known
192
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,674
Josh Wheeler would pick a
rotten apple like you.
193
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:43,209
You remember me?
194
00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:46,707
How could I forget the girl who
gave me explosive diarrhea?
195
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:49,587
You owe me a pair of L.L.Bean chinos.
196
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,005
There's an Old Navy at the mall.
197
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,643
Well, that's hardly the same thing.
198
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,140
Feed him and go.
199
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:57,893
Oh, Ms. Crumble, you must think
the absolute worst of me.
200
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:02,057
I'm so sorry that I ran away
when I saw you at the mall.
201
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,574
It was rude. I was scared.
202
00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:10,152
You're the boogeyman.
203
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:11,607
I still have feelings.
204
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,081
Fear is a natural reaction
to seeing a ghost.
205
00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:17,583
I don't believe in ghosts.
206
00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:21,501
I didn't believe I'd ever see my
racist Aunt Ida licking up gasoline
207
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:24,922
at the ARCO station on Saticoy
with her Filipino nurse
208
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,302
from the Jewish Home for the
Aging, but it happened.
209
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,377
Anything is possible now.
210
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:33,386
You... you thought I was dead?
211
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,099
Everybody I know is dead.
212
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:39,516
I'm so happy to learn that I'm not
the only adult left in the world.
213
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,225
And, well...
214
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:43,269
I missed you.
215
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,194
I really, really missed you.
216
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:52,742
Wait.
217
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,163
Did you two fuck?
218
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:57,740
I'm sorry.
219
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:01,963
This was a big, big mistake.
I should not have come here.
220
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,209
You know what?
221
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:07,420
I have a Malbec that I tasted at a
sommelier class at Sur La Table.
222
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:11,758
It has the woody bouquet of damp
morels in a brown paper bag
223
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,136
and would pair majestically
with Angelica shank.
224
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:16,849
Crumble doesn't want to eat me.
225
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,679
She cares about me. We're friends.
226
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,604
I have a pair of L.L.Bean chinos
227
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,312
that tells me exactly how
you treat your friends:
228
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:24,653
you poop all over 'em.
229
00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:26,558
Crumble came here to keep me safe.
230
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,147
Crumble came here to get you alone.
231
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:22,535
Oyez, oyez.
232
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:25,459
The Honorable Judge Turbo
Pokaski presiding.
233
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,754
Each one of you was in the mall.
234
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:31,553
We're gonna go through this bitch
to suss out fact from fuck-tion.
235
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,762
Someone in here is a traitor.
236
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,929
Someone's gonna Venmo
for their treachery!
237
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,045
Charged in from the east.
238
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:41,034
- Game for anything.
- In it to win it.
239
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,514
I was near the Aéropostale.
240
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:43,968
Pressed Juice.
241
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:45,557
- Airwalk.
- Juicy Couture.
242
00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:46,892
I pulled a hammy.
243
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,227
I didn't even have a bow and arrow.
244
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,323
- I used a weed wacker.
- Triple nunchucks.
245
00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:53,728
- A nine iron.
- At first, I thought it was my ACL,
246
00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:55,607
but no, it was a hammy.
247
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:56,744
We were dominating.
248
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,910
I was getting hungry...
249
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,409
I bagged three squifs.
250
00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:02,334
Saw a Cinnabon.
251
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:04,749
I mean, the mall kids fought back.
252
00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:07,498
Downed 50 BonBites.
253
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,171
I grabbed Matt and Will.
254
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,499
- Then I got thirsty.
- Little pyro tried to set me on fire.
255
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:12,665
Real thirsty.
256
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,673
Wesley, he knocked me down
without throwing a punch.
257
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,586
That coconut water hit the spot.
258
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,974
No, I didn't see who shot the arrow.
259
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,603
I think it came from the Aéropostale.
260
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,099
- Airwalk.
- Juicy Couture.
261
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,021
- Nine West.
- And the next thing I know,
262
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:28,689
I see Turbo bleeding, and I
would have helped, but...
263
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:29,939
You pulled a hammy.
264
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,358
I don't know who did it,
265
00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:34,779
but maybe this is all
just some big mistake.
266
00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:37,028
Maybe the guilty party
won't come forward
267
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:39,530
because it was an accident,
and they're too scared to admit it.
268
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:41,823
Are you calling Turbo a liar?
269
00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:08,122
I didn't know which one you
wanted, so I got you all of them.
270
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:14,557
Either you lied about
your dad being a lawyer,
271
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:17,898
and he's actually a picture
frame model, which is sad...
272
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,824
or this isn't really your dad,
273
00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:23,034
and you just bought a picture frame...
274
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,074
which is sadder.
275
00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:30,116
No, this is embarrassing,
but the truth is,
276
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:33,285
my dad was working in Africa
for Médecins Sans Frontières.
277
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,665
- That means Doctors Without Borders.
- I know what it means.
278
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:37,842
He was on a mission volunteering
with Mary and Annie.
279
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,000
Mary and Annie?
280
00:21:39,020 --> 00:21:40,424
Mary J. Blige and Annie Leibovitz.
281
00:21:40,507 --> 00:21:41,837
Well, sure.
282
00:21:41,925 --> 00:21:45,175
They were on this wildlife preserve,
and Annie was taking pictures...
283
00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:47,432
- 'Cause she's Annie Leibovitz.
- So a couple months later,
284
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:49,854
a publisher was looking through
her proofs and saw my dad.
285
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:52,693
This dude sells stock photos
and wanted to buy the picture.
286
00:21:52,740 --> 00:21:54,320
Apparently, exotic locations
287
00:21:54,340 --> 00:21:55,877
help sell frames, or
some shit like that.
288
00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:57,817
People wanna escape their mundane lives.
289
00:21:57,899 --> 00:21:59,109
So Dad said yes,
290
00:21:59,190 --> 00:22:01,380
but only if they donate
a portion of the sales
291
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:02,902
to Doctors Without Borders.
292
00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:09,372
You know you can be honest with me.
293
00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:11,790
I'm not lying.
294
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,373
Whatever. See you at the game.
295
00:22:26,219 --> 00:22:28,099
We've been playing
Overwatch with a Jock.
296
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,470
His username is 5318008.
297
00:22:30,557 --> 00:22:32,097
This dude wants to kill Turbo for real.
298
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:33,734
He's the one that's gonna help us?
299
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:34,791
That's the plan.
300
00:22:34,811 --> 00:22:36,731
Our inside man should be online soon.
301
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,449
Hey, quit fogging up my
screen, mouth breather.
302
00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:44,568
Come.
303
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:47,530
Wait. What?
304
00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:50,536
Gamer etiquette is serious.
Just mute your mic and watch.
305
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:54,040
I had no idea any of this was here.
306
00:22:54,122 --> 00:22:55,922
Because you're an epic noob.
307
00:22:55,999 --> 00:22:57,959
I do fine, thank you.
308
00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,963
Doing fine is why you're a noob.
309
00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:01,705
Oh, better to be a liar, like you?
310
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,007
Don't you get it?
311
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:05,090
Moral codes are worth
less than stale Cheetos.
312
00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:08,177
If you're such a ninja, then how
come you were caught by Triumph?
313
00:23:09,679 --> 00:23:11,559
First, that's racist.
314
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,020
And second, you were caught too.
315
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,190
- I got us free.
- Because of me.
316
00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:17,269
Why are you even helping me?
317
00:23:18,021 --> 00:23:20,361
You don't seem like the type
who'd do something for nothing.
318
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:21,440
I don't.
319
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:24,632
Yes!
320
00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:28,373
All right. 5318008 is on board.
321
00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:30,158
He'll help us get inside the school.
322
00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:33,082
We move at 1700, full battle rattle.
323
00:23:33,703 --> 00:23:36,213
Tonight, we squelch Turbo Pokaski.
324
00:23:41,294 --> 00:23:42,424
Go away!
325
00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:44,840
Why are you doing this?
326
00:23:45,715 --> 00:23:47,295
Are you fucking around with me?
327
00:23:47,710 --> 00:23:49,700
Is this some Boy Cried Wolf shit,
328
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,677
trying to teach me to
be a better person?
329
00:23:52,889 --> 00:23:56,349
I'll tell Josh the truth, just
stop doing this shit, okay?
330
00:23:57,769 --> 00:23:59,769
Ugh.
331
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,820
I think you hurt me.
332
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:05,943
I'm leaking.
333
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:08,355
Is this blood?
334
00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:11,324
Why is there black blood in my crotch?
335
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:13,487
Is this why you wanna eat me?
336
00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:16,245
Fuck.
337
00:24:17,205 --> 00:24:18,865
I think I just got my period.
338
00:24:31,094 --> 00:24:32,394
Are you there, Crumble?
339
00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:35,524
It's me, Angelica.
340
00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:40,848
I need help here. I don't
know how to tampon.
341
00:24:40,937 --> 00:24:42,607
Maybe I can help.
342
00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:47,145
Go away.
343
00:24:47,235 --> 00:24:48,645
I wish I could,
344
00:24:48,737 --> 00:24:50,487
but you and I are both
stuck at the moment.
345
00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:52,119
Why are you being nice?
346
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,201
I still care about children.
347
00:24:54,284 --> 00:24:57,544
Ms. Crumble and I are both
dealing with the world changing,
348
00:24:57,621 --> 00:25:00,421
our bodies changing, just like you.
349
00:25:01,082 --> 00:25:02,712
It's normal to be nervous.
350
00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:06,882
Grown-ups who hide porn on their
work laptops are nervous.
351
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:08,419
I'm not.
352
00:25:09,132 --> 00:25:11,222
I can do this myself,
fuck you very much.
353
00:25:11,670 --> 00:25:13,780
As principal, I had to stay up-to-date
354
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,580
on current trends in
adolescent medicine.
355
00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:18,734
And it's really very simple.
356
00:25:19,309 --> 00:25:21,269
Just place the applicator tip
357
00:25:21,728 --> 00:25:23,558
at a 70-degree angle
358
00:25:24,105 --> 00:25:25,645
toward the base of your spine.
359
00:25:26,274 --> 00:25:28,154
Unless you have a retroverted uterus.
360
00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:29,985
Do you have a retroverted uterus?
361
00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:32,070
I can't even tell which end is the tip!
362
00:25:32,155 --> 00:25:36,325
And... what is this string for?
Do I like pull it for a parachute?
363
00:25:36,409 --> 00:25:38,699
No, you need the string.
Don't lose the string.
364
00:25:38,787 --> 00:25:40,247
You can get toxic shock.
365
00:25:42,999 --> 00:25:44,879
If commercials taught me anything,
366
00:25:46,836 --> 00:25:49,166
it's that this is my
mom's responsibility.
367
00:25:51,290 --> 00:25:54,410
She should be here to get
the blood out of my pants,
368
00:25:54,430 --> 00:25:55,940
and stroke my face,
369
00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:58,061
and take me out for
some fucking ice cream.
370
00:25:58,139 --> 00:26:00,269
I know. I know, sweetie.
371
00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:02,887
Everything is upside down.
372
00:26:02,978 --> 00:26:06,568
If you want some ice cream,
I blended Ryan Scott into a nice gelato.
373
00:26:09,025 --> 00:26:10,935
This coming-of-age story sucks.
374
00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:19,831
And again, where the fuck were you?
375
00:26:19,911 --> 00:26:22,371
I was near the Aéropostale.
376
00:26:22,455 --> 00:26:24,915
Pressed... Juice.
377
00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:26,292
Airwalk.
378
00:26:27,168 --> 00:26:28,208
Juicy Couture.
379
00:26:28,628 --> 00:26:30,048
Nine West.
380
00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:32,090
The hair straightener kiosk.
381
00:26:32,173 --> 00:26:35,053
And I pulled a hammy. We've
been going over this for hours.
382
00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:37,885
And we'll keep right on truckin'
till dawn if we have to.
383
00:26:38,305 --> 00:26:40,265
Someone in this room is a deceiver,
384
00:26:40,348 --> 00:26:43,178
and no soul is leaving
until we find out who.
385
00:26:57,866 --> 00:26:58,866
It's me.
386
00:26:59,570 --> 00:27:00,640
I'm the traitor.
387
00:27:00,660 --> 00:27:03,790
Sit your slow ass down, Owen.
388
00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:05,082
You weren't even there!
389
00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:07,134
I'm Equipment Manager.
390
00:27:07,208 --> 00:27:10,088
If I don't put linseed oil on
the bowstring, it misfires.
391
00:27:11,212 --> 00:27:12,342
It's my fault.
392
00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:13,972
I took my eye off the ball.
393
00:27:14,420 --> 00:27:15,940
I just haven't been
paying much attention
394
00:27:15,970 --> 00:27:17,474
because I've been running drills,
395
00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:18,570
weight training.
396
00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:20,805
I've gained five pounds of muscle mass.
397
00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:24,144
I thought I could make the team,
398
00:27:24,726 --> 00:27:26,726
like Rudy in Rudy,
399
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:29,112
or Lucas in Lucas,
400
00:27:29,522 --> 00:27:31,902
or the waterboy in The Waterboy.
401
00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,822
I just wanted to be part of the tribe.
402
00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:39,028
Look, I betrayed you with my love.
403
00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:41,828
Put me on the American Ninja Idol stage.
404
00:27:42,327 --> 00:27:43,327
Just...
405
00:27:44,579 --> 00:27:46,789
let me sing something from
Jesus Christ Superstar.
406
00:27:47,874 --> 00:27:48,924
There's no traitor.
407
00:27:49,417 --> 00:27:51,797
Slowen failed. By your law,
he has to be punished.
408
00:27:51,878 --> 00:27:54,628
Hey, fuck you, Gary! Owen is a treasure!
409
00:27:54,714 --> 00:27:56,384
- Fuck you!
- Sit the fuck down!
410
00:27:59,135 --> 00:28:00,335
Sit the fuck down!
411
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:25,084
Selena, where's my jacket?
412
00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:29,333
It's Homecoming. You're supposed
to take it to the dry cleaner.
413
00:28:30,291 --> 00:28:31,291
Selena!
414
00:28:34,045 --> 00:28:35,045
Dad.
415
00:28:38,900 --> 00:28:39,940
Hey, champ.
416
00:28:39,970 --> 00:28:41,060
I thought you were in Syria.
417
00:28:41,094 --> 00:28:42,184
I was in Syria.
418
00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:45,971
And Budapest, Brussels, and Tokyo...
419
00:28:47,434 --> 00:28:48,444
where I got you...
420
00:28:51,896 --> 00:28:53,266
The guy said they were rare.
421
00:28:53,356 --> 00:28:56,066
Perfect condition,
original packages even.
422
00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:57,151
I love it.
423
00:29:01,531 --> 00:29:03,741
You're getting too old for
these toys, aren't you?
424
00:29:03,825 --> 00:29:04,865
No. No, no.
425
00:29:06,202 --> 00:29:07,292
I don't know, maybe.
426
00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:10,919
You just... You only give
me presents when you leave.
427
00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:15,252
I met with DHS this morning.
428
00:29:16,379 --> 00:29:18,219
They're getting me the
visas I need for Aleppo.
429
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:20,262
My flight leaves in an hour.
430
00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:29,891
- You know it's Homecoming tonight.
- I know,
431
00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:33,150
but I promised Pong Pong
I'd make them s'mores.
432
00:29:34,522 --> 00:29:36,232
This game gets us into state.
433
00:29:36,316 --> 00:29:37,646
College scouts are coming.
434
00:29:38,401 --> 00:29:39,611
Also, you know coach is dying?
435
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:41,290
I thought he was retiring.
436
00:29:41,321 --> 00:29:43,031
He's retiring because he's dying!
437
00:29:49,537 --> 00:29:50,747
This game is important to me.
438
00:29:51,164 --> 00:29:52,164
I get it.
439
00:29:54,209 --> 00:29:56,289
I get it, my big Turbo Bro Jock.
440
00:29:56,669 --> 00:29:58,169
I hate it when you call me that.
441
00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:01,465
Hey.
442
00:30:02,217 --> 00:30:05,087
There are 5,000 kids waiting for
me to bring them those visas.
443
00:30:06,095 --> 00:30:08,345
They're hungry. They're dying.
444
00:30:08,890 --> 00:30:09,890
Ten every hour.
445
00:30:11,017 --> 00:30:12,017
Now, if I stay,
446
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:14,482
that delays my trip by 16 hours.
447
00:30:14,562 --> 00:30:18,572
That's 160 dead orphans for
a three-hour football game.
448
00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:20,767
Do you really want me to stay?
449
00:30:22,529 --> 00:30:23,529
It's up to you.
450
00:30:24,531 --> 00:30:26,831
Or do you want me to do
whatever it takes...
451
00:30:27,742 --> 00:30:28,952
to protect the children?
452
00:31:12,287 --> 00:31:13,497
What's going on?
453
00:31:17,083 --> 00:31:18,383
Power is cut.
454
00:31:18,450 --> 00:31:21,108
Username 5318008 said that
455
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,240
we could find Turbo in
Mrs. Fitz's old class.
456
00:31:23,464 --> 00:31:25,264
Everyone move into kill positions.
457
00:31:25,341 --> 00:31:26,721
Unit, report in.
458
00:31:26,801 --> 00:31:27,891
Nimrod, check.
459
00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,553
Bronyboy, standing by.
460
00:31:29,846 --> 00:31:32,056
Styx, getting into position
in the south corridor.
461
00:31:36,770 --> 00:31:37,833
Styx is fragged.
462
00:31:37,854 --> 00:31:39,444
Everyone, hold your position.
463
00:31:39,522 --> 00:31:40,572
Shit! Someone's coming!
464
00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:44,290
Bronyboy is offline.
465
00:31:44,319 --> 00:31:47,069
Something is wrong here.
Something is really fucking wrong.
466
00:31:54,579 --> 00:31:56,390
You're the last one standing, Killigan.
467
00:31:56,410 --> 00:31:57,436
Fuck.
468
00:31:57,457 --> 00:31:59,167
Turbo isn't in Mrs. Fitz's class.
469
00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:01,130
There's just some scared kids in here.
470
00:32:01,502 --> 00:32:03,302
No. No, no! We've been set...
471
00:32:21,564 --> 00:32:25,494
You lose.
472
00:32:26,569 --> 00:32:28,909
You lose.
473
00:32:28,988 --> 00:32:30,698
You lose.
474
00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:32,985
You lose.
475
00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:37,406
You lose! You lose! You lose!
476
00:32:42,380 --> 00:32:44,240
After the episiotomy,
477
00:32:44,270 --> 00:32:46,264
during which the skin between the vagina
478
00:32:46,339 --> 00:32:49,719
and the anus is sliced open to
prevent the skin from tearing,
479
00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:52,643
the fetus emerges from the birth canal,
480
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,310
- coated in a film of vernix caseosa...
- Ugh!
481
00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:56,980
... a cheese-like substance.
482
00:32:57,037 --> 00:32:58,288
Babies who have...
483
00:32:58,309 --> 00:33:00,689
Our perimeter is locked down.
484
00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:03,270
Twenty-four-hour guards, a minefield.
485
00:33:03,564 --> 00:33:06,484
Shit, the only thing we're missing
is a moat filled with piranhas.
486
00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:10,198
Someone let you in the school. Who?
487
00:33:13,032 --> 00:33:15,992
Oh, we got days of educational
films for you to watch.
488
00:33:16,494 --> 00:33:19,214
What's next? Inside the Urethra:
489
00:33:19,288 --> 00:33:21,118
Gonorrhea and You.
490
00:33:21,916 --> 00:33:24,956
Or there's Hobo Jim Lost a Limb:
491
00:33:25,294 --> 00:33:27,264
Danger on the Railroad Tracks.
492
00:33:32,802 --> 00:33:35,222
What is the traitor's name?
493
00:33:35,596 --> 00:33:38,216
His username is 5318008.
494
00:33:44,939 --> 00:33:46,229
That's your username, Gary.
495
00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,316
5318008?
496
00:33:52,071 --> 00:33:53,661
That spells "boobies" on a calculator.
497
00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:55,070
That sounds like Gary.
498
00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:56,578
I never played Overwatch.
499
00:33:56,659 --> 00:33:58,199
I saw you playing yesterday.
500
00:33:58,327 --> 00:33:59,867
Okay, but not with these assburgers.
501
00:33:59,954 --> 00:34:02,924
5318008 plays as Wrecking Ball.
502
00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:04,209
Gary plays as Wrecking Ball.
503
00:34:04,500 --> 00:34:07,420
5318008 has a biohazard skin.
504
00:34:07,503 --> 00:34:09,423
Gary has a biohazard skin.
505
00:34:09,672 --> 00:34:12,842
5318008 kinda sucks at laying mines.
506
00:34:12,925 --> 00:34:15,335
Gary kinda sucks at laying mines.
507
00:34:15,428 --> 00:34:19,428
Did you even pull a hammy, 5318008?
508
00:34:19,515 --> 00:34:21,845
I get inflamed muscles. Barry knows.
509
00:34:22,518 --> 00:34:23,978
Tell 'em it wasn't me, Barry.
510
00:34:26,230 --> 00:34:27,820
Tell them it wasn't fucking me.
511
00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,609
You said the Jocks were all swole.
512
00:34:30,318 --> 00:34:33,068
You said we'd methodically
plan our path to the hole.
513
00:34:34,330 --> 00:34:35,385
We're masters.
514
00:34:35,406 --> 00:34:36,566
This is bullshit.
515
00:34:36,657 --> 00:34:38,947
I'm being set up. I'm
being fucking set up!
516
00:34:39,535 --> 00:34:41,365
Permission to treat the
witness as hostile?
517
00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:48,416
An all new episode of American
Ninja Idol returns tonight
518
00:34:48,503 --> 00:34:49,843
at 8:00 p.m.
519
00:34:58,513 --> 00:34:59,513
I don't know, hoss.
520
00:35:00,807 --> 00:35:03,727
All this evidence against Gary,
and he still won't confess?
521
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:05,980
Something's not kosher.
522
00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:23,253
♪ I know just how to whisper ♪
523
00:35:23,329 --> 00:35:26,749
♪ And I know just how to cry ♪
524
00:35:26,833 --> 00:35:30,423
♪ I know just where
to find the answers ♪
525
00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:33,423
♪ And I know just how to lie ♪
526
00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:37,085
♪ I know just how to fake it ♪
527
00:35:37,176 --> 00:35:38,926
♪ And I know just how to scheme... ♪
528
00:35:39,011 --> 00:35:41,221
Car's here. Wanna walk me down, champ?
529
00:35:41,305 --> 00:35:43,765
♪ I know just when to face the truth ♪
530
00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:47,190
♪ And then I know just when to dream ♪
531
00:35:47,270 --> 00:35:50,570
♪ And I know just where to touch you ♪
532
00:35:50,648 --> 00:35:54,318
♪ And I know just what to prove ♪
533
00:35:54,402 --> 00:35:57,782
♪ I know when to pull you closer ♪
534
00:35:57,864 --> 00:36:00,414
♪ And I know when to let you loose ♪
535
00:36:01,742 --> 00:36:04,332
♪ And I know the night is fading ♪
536
00:36:04,412 --> 00:36:07,962
♪ And I know the time's gonna fly ♪
537
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:11,210
♪ And I'm never gonna tell you ♪
♪ Everything I've gotta tell you ♪
538
00:36:11,294 --> 00:36:14,344
♪ But you know I'm gonna give it a try ♪
539
00:36:15,131 --> 00:36:19,341
♪ And I know the roads to riches ♪
♪ And I know the ways... ♪
540
00:36:19,427 --> 00:36:21,217
I talked to Hoyles about your dad.
541
00:36:21,304 --> 00:36:23,144
I'm sorry I said you were lying.
542
00:36:28,644 --> 00:36:30,444
I'm sorry I asked you
to hit your cousin.
543
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:32,477
Just need a win.
544
00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:36,815
♪ And I'll never let you fall ♪
545
00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:40,823
♪ And I don't know how you do it ♪
♪ Making love... ♪
546
00:36:40,907 --> 00:36:42,277
You're smiling.
547
00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:45,327
It was you.
548
00:36:46,621 --> 00:36:48,161
You set this all up.
549
00:36:49,582 --> 00:36:51,962
♪ Out of nothing at all ♪
550
00:36:53,085 --> 00:36:56,335
♪ Out of nothing at all ♪
551
00:36:56,422 --> 00:37:00,722
♪ Out of nothing at all ♪
552
00:37:20,821 --> 00:37:24,081
♪ I can make the runner stumble ♪
553
00:37:24,158 --> 00:37:27,158
♪ I can make the final block ♪
554
00:37:27,787 --> 00:37:30,997
♪ I can make every tackle ♪
♪ At the sound of the whistle ♪
555
00:37:31,082 --> 00:37:33,542
♪ I can make all the stadiums rock ♪
556
00:37:34,502 --> 00:37:37,712
♪ I can make tonight forever ♪
557
00:37:37,797 --> 00:37:41,377
♪ Or I can make it
disappear by the dawn ♪
558
00:37:41,467 --> 00:37:44,637
♪ And I can make you every promise ♪
♪ That has ever been made ♪
559
00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:47,470
♪ I can make all your demons be gone ♪
560
00:37:48,182 --> 00:37:51,522
♪ But I don't know how to leave you ♪
561
00:37:51,602 --> 00:37:55,232
♪ And I'll never let you fall ♪
562
00:37:56,482 --> 00:37:59,782
♪ And I don't know how you do it ♪
563
00:37:59,860 --> 00:38:05,070
♪ Making love out of nothing at all ♪
564
00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:08,490
♪ Out of nothing at all ♪
565
00:38:09,412 --> 00:38:15,002
♪ Out of nothing at all ♪
566
00:38:38,524 --> 00:38:40,484
My hammy!
567
00:38:40,568 --> 00:38:43,068
No!
568
00:38:56,417 --> 00:38:57,747
I don't know what to do.
569
00:38:58,919 --> 00:38:59,919
About?
570
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:01,338
Anything!
571
00:39:02,298 --> 00:39:04,178
I'm a dope. I mean, Wesley lied.
572
00:39:04,258 --> 00:39:05,378
I totally fell for it.
573
00:39:05,926 --> 00:39:08,676
You lied, and I totally fell for it.
574
00:39:10,389 --> 00:39:11,389
Shit.
575
00:39:12,475 --> 00:39:14,805
You know, everything I thought
I knew about the apocalypse
576
00:39:14,894 --> 00:39:16,354
has been absolutely wrong.
577
00:39:18,606 --> 00:39:20,686
I just wish I knew
something that is true.
578
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:30,992
KJ stands for Karen Jane.
579
00:39:33,996 --> 00:39:36,166
It's a first-generation Chinese thing.
580
00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:38,875
Truth.
581
00:39:43,464 --> 00:39:45,934
Well, it's my dumb fault
the gamers were caught.
582
00:39:46,008 --> 00:39:49,098
I should have let this go, but I
was so pissed at Turbo and...
583
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:50,867
Wesley, too.
584
00:39:50,888 --> 00:39:52,468
I wanted to hurt them both.
585
00:39:54,016 --> 00:39:55,136
It was childish.
586
00:39:55,768 --> 00:39:57,808
I mean, Burr was right.
We're all out of control!
587
00:39:57,895 --> 00:39:58,895
No!
588
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:02,817
You freed those kids from Baron
Triumph and gave them a home,
589
00:40:03,275 --> 00:40:04,275
and me.
590
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:08,533
The mall can be a place for all
the stragglers that don't fit in.
591
00:40:13,786 --> 00:40:15,366
I've never met anyone like you.
592
00:40:16,539 --> 00:40:17,539
You're a good guy.
593
00:40:18,916 --> 00:40:19,916
You're so nice.
594
00:40:21,794 --> 00:40:24,514
Nice is what you say when you have
nothing else to say about someone.
595
00:40:25,005 --> 00:40:26,415
It's lame. I'm not nice.
596
00:41:02,793 --> 00:41:03,793
Crumble?
597
00:41:04,545 --> 00:41:06,295
Figured out how to use the tampon.
598
00:41:07,298 --> 00:41:09,678
Maybe you won't go crazy
if you can't smell the blood.
599
00:41:11,594 --> 00:41:12,974
It's cherry scented.
600
00:41:13,053 --> 00:41:14,393
Help me.
601
00:41:15,556 --> 00:41:16,556
Crumble?
602
00:41:20,394 --> 00:41:22,074
- Oh, what's wrong?
- I'm sorry.
603
00:41:23,314 --> 00:41:24,774
Please help me.
604
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:34,197
It hurts.
605
00:41:34,658 --> 00:41:35,738
You're okay.
606
00:41:38,662 --> 00:41:39,662
It's okay.
607
00:41:53,469 --> 00:41:55,049
... position in the south corridor.
608
00:41:56,847 --> 00:41:58,557
Shit! Someone's coming!
609
00:41:59,433 --> 00:42:01,193
No. No, no! We've been set...
610
00:42:07,983 --> 00:42:11,653
You lose.
611
00:42:11,987 --> 00:42:13,817
You lose.
612
00:42:14,281 --> 00:42:16,741
You lose. You lose!
613
00:42:16,825 --> 00:42:19,615
You lose! You lose!
614
00:42:19,703 --> 00:42:22,463
You lose! You lo...
615
00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:58,700
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