Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
Mom!
The delivery guy's here!
With Melvin's... weird shit.
Enjoying the show?
He wants it in the basement.
This thing is heavy. I might need a small hand.
I have small hands! See?
Melvin!
Go call your stepfather.
Melvin!
Hey, Professor G!
Ah! Yes, young Danny, yes!
Are you going to do a show this year?
Well, I don't know about that, Louisie and I,
we've been having a lot of trouble with Carolina, and all her drama.
Aw, come on, you didn't do one last year either!
Yeah, we miss it!
That's like Halloween for us!
Are you still building your museum?
Ah, yes. Yes.
The amazing Museum of the Macabre.
Yes, yes, I will.
But I'll tell you what.
If you stop by after trick or treating,
I promise I will have something for you, something, uh,
something special, I promise you.
Like what?
Something that just might be
the prized piece of my entire collection.
I call her... Masquerade.
- Her? - El Demonia De La Mascarada.
The skeleton of a young woman who was besieged by a curse.
A curse they called...
being under the moon, young friends.
What does that mean?
It means you still breathe.
Live in the natural world,
but your soul has been disembodied.
And is now trapped in hell.
Now according to the witches that cursed her,
time here, and time down in hell are very, very different.
Like, how?
One minute here, is like a million years down below.
This sounds awesome, Professor G,
does she come awake at Halloween?
No. She's just bones at this point,
bones in a box, for old collectors like me.
And you should buy it, just for your museum.
I intend to, sir, in fact, I have a date with her right now,
so I bid you all a temporary farewell,
but if one of you, or all of you would like to come by
after trick or treating, we'll be waiting for you tonight.
Bye-bye now.
Bye-bye.
The Harley Brothers, are going to be very happy
that you decided to help them, Richard.
- Do I have a choice? - Do any of us anymore?
I should.
I've done my time, Finn.
I earned the right to walk away on my own terms.
Of course you have.
This'll be fast and easy.
You'll be set up for a long time, Richard.
Consider it, uh, a thank you.
From the Harley Brothers, going to get you on the road to
being the father, you always should've been.
All I need is when and where.
I like that.
What's that?
That's the physical address.
The street's one you know.
You and my father grew up there,
before it became a rich man's neighborhood.
I'm not doing this alone.
You know I have a partner.
You mean, your daughter.
You don't have to qualify it. She's my partner.
She's also the best locksmith in the region.
So where the fuck is she?
She's getting the supplies. And the car.
Mouse is getting the car.
Richard.
Nothing that attracts attention.
Right?
Hey! My wallet!
Sorry not sorry!
Fuck you!
I know I'm hell of a late, I got everything ready.
Got some dope costumes.
And there's a pink bear there With your name on it, Dad.
- Kidding. - Costumes?
It's a smuggler's house on Halloween.
We're not sneaking in.
So you're doing what exactly?
Walking right up to the front door, and knocking.
That is fantastic.
Just plant the folder where the cops find it. Get the money.
The you can retire. Go off and be fucking father of the year.
I fucking love that everybody thinks I'm retiring too.
One more thing.
You're not going to like it.
But I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist.
Always one more thing.
Percy's going with you.
He's your muscle, Richard.
And this is not fucking negotiable.
Maybe I can get that pink bear costume to Percy?
I think that he needs a little bit of pink in his life.
I don't work with people like Percy.
I don't like guns.
He's going with you.
You're picking him up after his little shakedown.
You're going to complete the mission,
help the Harley Brothers, and then you can ride off
into the fucking sunset.
His little shakedown?
I can just imagine.
It's just a little scare tactic. That's all.
Come here.
Percy is sick.
And I don't want him around my daughter.
Christ, everyone's talking like I'm not even here.
- I can fucking handle my shit, Dad! - Stop!
Richard.
He's under your command tonight.
Besides.
Percy is misunderstood.
You should cut him some slack.
Get me the phone, and dial Percy.
Oh!
Hey, dumbass, take my shotgun out.
Take my shotgun out.
Good girl.
Yeah, she looks all innocent now.
She's going to grow up to be just like you.
A woman.
And women are only good for two things.
Getting fucked, and talking shit.
And we know you have a big fucking mouth, don't we?
What about this?
Open your legs, you fucking whore.
Can that take both barrels, huh?
Mm.
What about that big fucking mouth, huh?
No! Please.
Sir, please, don't hurt me, please.
This big mouth can take this whole thing, can't it? Huh?
You make me sick.
Get this in there.
Come on!
What do you think, dumbass, can she do it? Can mommy do it?
All that big mouth bullshit...
and you can't fit this in that big fucking mouth.
Piece of shit.
I have an idea...
let's make that hole bigger.
- Percy. - Richard and Mouse think they're done working
with the Harley Brothers.
Ah, the Golden Boy.
Yeah, well, there's a big payout tonight if you end these motherfuckers.
For killing Richard and Mouse?
Shit. I'd have done that for free.
I guess I'm not so bad at this Halloween stuff after all.
Ah...
La Demonia....
Join me if you'd like.
This is the first time human eyes have laid
on her in over a century!
The cute guy that helped me move it down here
says it smells like cat piss.
I tend to agree.
Don't worry, I'm not going to date him.
Mom said, he only makes minimum wage,
and I ain't got time for that.
No, no, I'm not.
I'm not worried, I actually thought
you two would make a lovely couple.
He's in his thirties and probably
lives in a trailer, so...
- You're almost 40. - But I live in a house.
No, no...
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Yes.
Yo, so that's got to suck, huh, Melvin?
Beauty is only skin deep, Caroline.
Now, I wouldn't agree with this, but some would say
she's the most beautiful girl in the room.
Anyway, come on, come on. Let's get this up on the ledge.
This is a lot of work on a holiday.
Gosh!
And by the way, Melvin. She's got no skin.
Just come on, just come on. All right? Just come on, lift it up, will you?
Easy. Come on!
Easy!
- Lift it! - I'm trying.
Ah! God!
Pay attention!
I can't ask you to do anything without you screwing something up!
God!
Louisie! I need a hand!
Melvin, you know I don't like dark places!
God!
I just need some help setting this up,
could you get your heiny down here?
Okay.
I'm coming.
Ew! It's a bone.
Will you just grab a corner, please!
- I can't, I just can't. - Ah...
Then tell your daughter
to get her ass down here and help, just once!
Oh, now there it is.
Now you're going to sit there
with your mouth hanging open, just like her!
Oh, jeez!
Oh, God!
You know, I can't. I'm just... I, I just cannot
seem to do what I want to do in this house.
I'm paying for something that isn't even mine!
I'm living in a house with a stepdaughter who's almost 40 years old,
and unable to be self sufficient!
And therefor she's like a pet we have to feed!
Yeah!
But her life expectancy is greater than ours.
Yeah, so she's here forever!
And it's heartbreaking to me!
Yeah, no, no, no, you're going to listen all of this,
oh, no, don't cry, you're going to listen to all of this,
because the night is ruined!
This whole night is ruined, I have a coffin
that I can't now set up in the window for the neighbors
to see and do you know why?
Because my wife is afraid of the dark!
Oh, that's right!
But she doesn't seem to have a problem
at night when she's got her head buried in those books, huh?
Why? Why don't you seem to have a problem then, Louisie?
I mean, it's perfectly dark then.
Why aren't you crying all night then?
Huh?
Because I'm with you.
What?
Aw, shit!
Because, I'm... Oh! I'm with you?
I'm with you?
Ah! You are kidding me! Ah!
Because I'm with you?
I'm with you, she says. Jesus Christ!
Melvin! This is a chair leg!
You got ripped off again.
Rags and chair legs.
Melvin!
Melvin! Please, get down here!
Melvin!
Melvin, come here!
Hold on, Louisie...
Please!
Louisie!
The power's out!
I'm coming, Louisie.
Melvin!
It's me.
That's Melvin.
Get off her!
Got you!
Are they still fighting?
I don't know, Melvin's like such a nerd.
He never did any stupid shit like my Dad.
Dude, what's going on?
I... I think they're inside.
Louisie, my God!
Oh! Louisie!
Oh, my God!
Shit!
Let me in, Melvin...
I... I got to go. Call me later, I'll let you know.
I need help.
Oh, my God.
Caroline!
Louisie... Oh!
Hurry! Your mother's hurt bad!
Oh, Jesus! Louisie.
Oh, Louisie...
Oh, Louisie. Hey, get the medical kit.
Get the medical kit! Hurry, get the medical kit!
Oh, Louisie.
What happened...
I think it's the vampire, Louisie.
Oh, no, no, no. I know it sounds impossible, but
it bit you, holy shit, it bit you!
Oh, it picked you up by your damn head and it bit your neck!
Oh, God, it was over by the door.
And it came... I saw it couldn't come through the door.
It couldn't come to...
I told you to get the damn medical kit, from the fucking pantry!
Get the medical kit!
Melvin...
She is all I've got.
You're the only thing she has now.
I love her, please take care of her...
Louisie...
Oh, God!
Oh, God, no!
Weezy. Weezy. Weezy!
I promise if you just stay with me, if you just stay with me...
I promise I'll never yell at her again,
I'll never, I'll never yell at her again,
do you hear me? Do you hear me, Weezy!
Weezy! Do you hear me?
I promise you, I will never yell at her again!
- Mouse... - Fuck, Dad, stop.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Who is it! Oh, shit it's the trick or treaters!
Oh, Jesus Christ! It must be the neighbors kids!
- This looks fucked. - Keep your fucking tampon in, I got it.
Fuck off.
All right, I'll go get them!
Caroline. Caroline!
Okay. Eureka, bitch!
- What the hell? - Fuck!
What the hell are you doing in my house?
- We're here for the money, bitch. - Mouse!
We don't have any money lying around in this house.
Percy!
Shut your fucking mouth.
Caroline, goddammit, I need you!
That was a big fucking mistake.
Be cool, Percy. Be cool!
Okay? It's all right, okay?
Listen, listen! You've got a job to do.
Stay in the game. Go!
Come on.
Motherfucker! Now...
I was going to rape your daughter while you were still alive,
so you could watch!
But you're just going to have to trust me.
I'm going to make it fucking slow,
and painful.
Fuck this.
Oh. That's a nice knife.
I'm going to fuck you with that.
Fuck you, Percy!
No, no.
- No! - Goodnight, bitch!
Oh, my God.
Here, here, here, here.
Caroline...
I need you to help with your mom.
She's not doing so well.
Come on, Daddy.
Aren't you going to help your daughter? Come on, Daddy!
You're pathetic.
How do you want to die?
Do you want me to choke you to death?
Or do you want to die by this knife,
that's going to have your daughter's cunt blood on it, huh?
Nice try, you little bitch.
Okay, you psycho bitch.
That's right. On your knees.
Fuck!
Dad, what happened?
What happened to Mom?
I'm scared!
I can't explain any of it.
Can it get any worse? Can it? Can it?
This is our goddamn house.
And nobody, is going to prevent us from saving Weezy.
You hear me?
Nobody.
I think I'm fucked up.
You don't have time to be.
Jesus fucking Christ!
Listen.
Percy's dead.
Right? I mean deader than dead.
We're in a world of hurt, we got to get out of here.
- What about the people who live here? - Not our problem.
And what about the money?
- We don't need... - I need it!
I need the money.
Okay.
All right, give me your hand.
Truco... o-trato... truco... trick.
Trick... o treat.
Trick or treat!
Okay.
You see that girl, you run.
Whatever you do, do not look into her eyes.
Dad, you're freaking me out.
Do what I say.
No matter how crazy it sounds. We still got to job to do.
What the fuck?
Okay.
We stay focused, we get the money, and we get out.
- But what if there is no money? - There's money!
Percy was going crazy over it.
Hey. Dad, a little help?
Mouse, get your head in the game!
Oh, my head is in the game.
My head is fucking scrambled,
but it's in the game enough to know that you're freaking the fuck out!
And you never freak out about anything!
And I'm s... I'm scared.
And I don't know what the fuck is out there!
We got set up, didn't we?
That's not what I'm worried about.
That girl out there, she's...
she did things.
She did things that are physically impossible to do.
We'll get the money but that's the easy part.
Getting out of here is going to be hell.
Who is she?
What is she?
I don't know.
Hey, look.
I haven't always been a good father to you.
- But... - No, just don't. Don't.
Don't start.
Look, don't get me wrong.
Mom was a shitbag and I'm glad you were the one that stepped in.
- Yeah, she was a nasty woman. - Yeah.
But... you've never said I love you in your entire life.
So why start now?
Weezy?
Weezy, can you hear me?
What a night, huh?
I hope you can hear me in your dreams, my love.
My little Weezy.
I am so...
so sorry.
For the things I said.
I'm so sorry for leaving you in the dark in that moment.
I failed you.
I brought that thing here.
I've ruined everything!
But I'm going to make things right.
I'm going to make things right!
Oh, dear God. Oh, dear God!
Go, go, go!
Professor G putting on a show tonight!
Guys! Guys! Get out of here!
Go! Show is canceled!
Wait! No, don't go there, no!
- Whoa! - No, no, Danny. Danny!
Get your sister and get the hell out of here!
Oh, snap, there's the demon girl!
Danny! Danny, look, look!
Danny, it's canceled, there's not going to be a show!
- Get your sister and get the fuck out of here! - Professor G,
- this shit is lit! - Danny!
I'm telling you this isn't a show, would you get your sister?
Danny, just get your sister yourself and get her out of here!
Danny, are you listening to me!
There's kid out there!
Rosie! Rosie!
Hey, get the fuck out of here! Go home!
Fucking Halloween is canceled, there's no more candy, okay?
Get the fuck out of here!
Hey, I said, get out!
- Leave the... - Hey, hey, hey, hey! You're going to get us killed, come on!
Hey, sis! Come on!
When I say run...
That's a really cool costume.
Run!
- Oh, Jesus, open the door! - Open the door!
Open the fucking door!
Open the door!
Let my daughter in!
We're not going to hurt you!
The guy who tried to hurt you is dead!
Come on open the door, please!
Pick the lock.
I can't, my kit's inside!
Pick the lock.
- I love you Dad. - I love you too, kiddo.
I'll buy you some time.
I don't know what you are.
But I've seen you bleed.
And it's all I need.
Sorry, I don't speak that shit!
You cracked my bat!
I'm going to crack your skull!
Excuse me.
Can I use your phone?
I need to tell my mom my sister's dead.
Die, you fucking shit!
Die until you can't fucking die anymore!
Fuck you!
Come on.
M... Mouse!
Mouse!
Mouse...
No, no, no, no, no! No, no!
Danny!
Danny! Danny!
Danny!
No!
No! Agh!
Come on!
Your name is Mouse, right? Come on.
Come on! It's dad, you got to fight it!
Choke her.
Dad!
I'll see you in Hell!
And I'll fuck you! With a pitchfork for all eternity!
Choke!
God!
Momma?
Momma, you got to take a sip.
You got to take a sip.
Momma, wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up. Wake up.
Wake up.
Please, don't leave me.
You're the only person in the whole world that even likes me.
It's Melvin, right?
The kids called me Professor G.
I always liked that.
I never knew what the "G" stood for though,
because my last name starts with an "S."
Yeah, well, Melvin...
she's going to be waking up soon.
If I know my daughter, she's going to be a handful.
Got anything better than duct tape to restrain her with?
Eh, duct tape's pretty damn good.
Yeah, it is, Melvin, but there's not enough of it.
There's probably a ton of things down there, but...
you know, she was down there.
That's where she bit my wife.
Why hasn't she come through that door and killed us all?
Hard to say.
Look, we brought her in a box, and she had no say...
and we never brought her upstairs.
She cannot come through that door...
Will you try to make sense?
All right.
I'm not letting my daughter succumb to that thing.
If we have to kill it to bring her back, we'll kill it.
Do you even know how to kill it?
You saw what happened.
It is not a thing, mister, what...
Listen, who the hell are you anyway?
You come inside my house, I don't even know your name!
You came in here to rob me?
- Kill me? - I did not try to kill you!
Percy tried to kill you!
And Percy's dead.
My name is Richard.
That is my daughter. And I want to get her,
the hell out of here, you understand?
We wouldn't be in this situation,
if you'd opened... the door!
Melvin!
Well, my wife is in there sick too!
And I could've gotten her some help if it wasn't for you!
While you do whatever you need to do for your daughter,
and then I'm going to find my phone
- and I'm going to call the police. - Police?
The ambulance, okay?
I'll be quick.
Don't be quick.
Be careful.
Save it.
Speaker?
Play wedding song.
Daddy?
I can feel the worms,
crawling into my eyes,
and into my mouth...
The worms are shitting in my mouth, Daddy.
Help me.
The worms, they're crawling inside every hole, Daddy.
Every... single... hole.
You did this to me.
I am in Hell because of you.
God, if you're up there, don't forget us little people down here.
Please...
I never prayed a day in my entire life, you know that?
Isn't that something?
Kind of crazy when you think about it.
More than fifty years of life.
Yeah. Let's see.
That's more than 18,000 days,
that I've never put my hands together and spoke with
an entity that I believe held the key to salvation.
I often thought about why.
Well, that's not true, it's not often, but it's sometimes.
You think if I prayed to God tonight, this all could've been avoided?
I mean, what about Allah? I mean, what God does what?
And who does what, and why and when?
And where, and it's all bullshit.
Try to wake her up.
Richard.
Two weeks ago, I ordered an item
for my collection for a museum I foolishly tried to open.
- Ah, the Museum of the Macabre. - Melvin.
I don't care. All right?
Richard. I ordered the remains of a vampire.
A vampire, Richard, that's what they said.
El Demonia De La Mascarada.
The Demon of the Masquerade.
My wife?
I think she removed that stick from the dress.
And that stick was a stake.
She removed the stake, Richard.
That girl out there?
That's a real vampire.
That's what we're up against.
A vampire?
Yeah. So you'll excuse me,
if I ask you to join me with praying hands, and on bended knee.
Melvin! Melvin.
Please let me in, it's freezing outside.
- Melvin! - That's not your little friend, Melvin.
Melvin, I'm so scared.
He never called me by my first name.
- Professor G... - Please, help me.
- That's right. - I was the only one who believed in you.
Pray with me!
- Melvin, please! - All right.
All right. Can't hurt.
- I've always loved your museum. - God.
God, we need you, we need your help right now.
You know where we are, you know Danny's hurt out there.
You know where Danny is, we need you to help him.
- Would you help him? - I thought you never prayed before.
Please let me in.
I'm not praying with words from a Bible, Richard,
I'm praying with words from my heart.
God, you're the only one that can help us right now,
you know everything that's going on right now,
only you can help us right now!
All right, my turn.
Might not be as fancy as yours.
I've got a few things I need to say.
Then by God, say it!
I'm cold.
I'm so fucking cold.
And my sister's neck is open.
It's like she has two holes!
Three when you think about it.
And they all bleed, Melvin.
- They all bleed. - Richard?
Look, we're not just praying for your daughter,
we're praying for that boy out there,
they're both savable!
Richard! You Know it's true.
You know what under the moon means, Richard.
You've already let your daughter burn for millions of years. Each minute you sit?
- You let her burn! - Don't listen. Just don't listen.
- Shut up! Shut up! - No, no! Just stay with me. Stay with me.
Got it! Keep praying!
God, we need you help. We need your help right now.
- Please don't leave my daughter. - Oh.
- What? - Stop, stop, stop.
- I said, come on! - Stop, it's the lights!
They did that when Masquerade was nearby.
Playing shitty stepdaughter song.
Richard. Can you let me in?
Please help me.
Mouse and I are under the moon.
I can help you get her back.
And I...
I need someone to get me back.
Vampires cannot come inside the home
if you do not invite them in!
I got to take that chance! That's my daughter!
Wait, Richard, you got to listen to me, you got to listen to me!
They're driven by demon spirits.
Their servants are not, and despite all the cat calls,
and their taunts, there's nothing she can do!
It's Masquerade talking through them!
She wants us to open that door,
the longer we stay close to her,
the more we risk looking into her eyes, Richard.
- We must keep praying! - Hey, Dad!
You did this to me, fucker!
You taped these things to my hands you stupid son of a bitch!
You did to me, Daddy.
You killed your own daughter, you piece of shit!
You killed your own daughter, I hate you!
Melvin!
Richard.
That's Caroline.
Come with me.
No.
Caroline!
Caroline! Let me in!
Mouse?
Kiddo, what... No.
Look at what you did to me, Daddy.
Look at what you did to me!
No!
Caroline!
I know I haven't been perfect, kid.
Trust me, I know.
But, I will be better.
We can make it together!
I'm so sorry...
Can you hear me Caroline?
Woah. Yeah. What is this?
This is us talking. It's pretty cool actually.
Momma? This is scary.
Considering how the evening has been as a whole,
this can hardly be considered scary.
This is just ...us.
Daddy...
It's taking everything I have to tell you to help me.
Let him in.
It's the only way to save me.
I was taken under the moon, saving you.
Please... save me too.
Look at your mother, Caroline.
Do you think anyone will miss me?
I missed you, Caroline.
I missed you too, Momma.
That's it, Daddy.
That's it, Richard, that's it.
That's it.
I know you're coming to save me. I'm so happy!
She's so happy.
Do you know how to save my daughter?
Do you?
No, no, Richard.
Your little slut daughter is going to suffocate
in the hot coals.
With worms crawling through her bleeding eye sockets.
Screaming for you.
Regretting coming to save you.
Melvin!
Get your ass over here!
The tape! The tape, where is it!
- We used it all on me! - Oh, come on, oh, my God, goddammit!
He's just a boy, use your shirt!
I don't have a shirt just laying around!
Use the shirt you got on!
I'm not taking my shirt off.
I have fucking issues with taking my shirt off!
- For God's sake, be a man! - Aw, man, fuck you!
Okay. It's going to be all right. Danny, I got you.
- Danny, I got you. - Move.
You mind telling me why you had to choke him out?
Well, he tried to invite your mail order vampire inside.
Oh, Jee... Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh...
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God. Richard! Look...
Trying not to think about that right now, Melvin!
Richard, you got to listen, now listen. Listen!
Look, it's the eyes.
It's the eyes, I think that's how she gets them!
She uses them through the eyes.
They say that the eyes...
are the window to the soul.
Yeah...
I guess that was true.
What the...
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit, man!
Praying didn't work at all! All this time, it was just a bunch of bullshit!
You're staring at a vampire called the demon of the masquerade,
you're doubting there's a God? You got a cross in this house Melvin,
because I'm not doubting for one more minute.
You're talking to an atheist.
Good point though.
Shut up!
Melvin!
Melvin, you coward!
Dammit, Melvin!
Mouse!
Mouse...
Dad...
Hey!
Fucking bitch!
Enjoy your trip to Hell...
Richard!
Richard! No, this can't be happening!
Oh! Oh, no! Oh, God!
Louisie!
Louisie! Please.
Sorry, Melvin,
looks like the end of your pathetic story is your new friend
smashing your brains out.
Shit!
Hell awaits, you piece of shit!
This is fucked up!
Your wife and stepdaughter never loved you.
No one loved you your entire life.
This can't be happening!
Yeah!
Whoa!
You see that?
She bought it, Melvin!
She bought it!
That was fucking awesome!
Oh, my God, Richard! You are a genius!
For all that talk about the worms,
she sure took one off the hook!
Yeah, baby!
Still nothing?
No, I'm afraid. Danny's out, he's sleeping.
His vitals are fine, he's just... sleeping.
Hmm.
What?
Eh, nothing.
Nothing, just...
just a story that accompanied Masquerade's coffin about
sleeping under the...
It's nothing, nothing.
Nothing at all, Richard.
I guess this is it then.
Where's the bitch?
You mean Masquerade.
Let's just say safe.
That is, others are safe.
Now, I have her locked away in storage,
and she's primed to be the prized piece
of my Museum of the Macabre.
I'm just kidding, Richard, I'm just kidding.
She's burning. Burning right there in the back yard.
The sun's doing what it does to vampires.
Uh, you good?
You got enough for your trip?
Melvin?
You ever come into contact with some
duffle bags full of money? Hmm?
You ever move something like that,
you ever keep something like that here?
Anybody ever ask you to do that?
- No. - Are you sure?
Yeah. I am.
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.
Well, that sucks for you.
Because you only got half a soul left.
I only had half a soul to begin with.
Speaker.
Play best stepdaughter song ever.
Playing best stepdaughter song ever.
Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull