1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:05,001 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:31,606 - Just give me the keys. - Give me the keys. 3 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:32,707 Give me the keys. 4 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,944 It's Kringle Time! 5 00:00:34,977 --> 00:00:37,079 There are, like, forty people counting on me... 6 00:00:37,113 --> 00:00:39,181 Oh everyone's always counting on you, Gary! 7 00:00:39,215 --> 00:00:41,217 Everyone always needs you, Gary! 8 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,818 Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary! 9 00:00:43,852 --> 00:00:47,123 The spotlight shines real bright, doesn't it, Gary? 10 00:00:47,156 --> 00:00:49,524 I know it's not Mister Goddamn Wizard, 11 00:00:49,557 --> 00:00:51,994 but they still need someone to run the fucking show 12 00:00:52,028 --> 00:00:53,528 and in order to run the fucking show, 13 00:00:53,561 --> 00:00:55,097 I need to get to the fucking show 14 00:00:55,131 --> 00:00:56,665 and in order to get to the fucking show, 15 00:00:56,698 --> 00:00:59,668 I need the fucking car! 16 00:00:59,701 --> 00:01:01,070 Blinders, Jerry! 17 00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:03,172 My Car! 18 00:01:03,205 --> 00:01:05,141 So what if it's in your name? 19 00:01:31,067 --> 00:01:34,236 You are more than this. 20 00:01:34,270 --> 00:01:39,241 You are more than the job you hold. 21 00:01:39,275 --> 00:01:45,780 You are more than the town where you live. 22 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:49,919 You are a shining ball in the darkness of existence. 23 00:01:49,952 --> 00:01:51,786 We're at ten minutes, Jer. 24 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:55,657 On my way. 25 00:02:02,898 --> 00:02:05,201 - Herb's not at set. - What? Where is he? 26 00:02:05,234 --> 00:02:07,602 I don't know. But he's not at set. 27 00:02:07,635 --> 00:02:10,940 Intern said he's not in the dressing room either. 28 00:02:10,973 --> 00:02:13,742 Ten minutes! 29 00:02:13,775 --> 00:02:16,112 Hey Gunther, my trash still hasn't been taken out. 30 00:02:16,145 --> 00:02:18,047 - Fünf minuten. - It's been four days, 31 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,547 can you take care of it, please? 32 00:02:19,581 --> 00:02:21,217 - Jawohl! - Can you just say "Yes" 33 00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:23,919 - in the future? - Jawohl. 34 00:02:23,953 --> 00:02:25,754 I don't speak German, Gunther. 35 00:02:27,089 --> 00:02:30,126 Hey... who are you... 36 00:02:30,159 --> 00:02:31,593 Have you seen Herb? 37 00:02:31,626 --> 00:02:35,031 Welcome to Goshen Public-Access, Mr. Mayor. 38 00:02:35,064 --> 00:02:37,233 Oh, Jerry, you've met Rodney, right? 39 00:02:37,266 --> 00:02:39,068 Mayor Jorkins, don't think I've had the pleasure. 40 00:02:39,101 --> 00:02:40,936 Hiya Jerry, the pleasure's all mine! 41 00:02:40,970 --> 00:02:42,104 Did you vote for me? 42 00:02:42,138 --> 00:02:44,974 I'm just joshin' ya! 43 00:02:45,007 --> 00:02:46,876 But did you vote for me? 44 00:02:46,909 --> 00:02:49,677 - Uh, Daphne? - What! 45 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,180 - Seen Herb? - I haven't seen him. 46 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:53,681 - The Herb? - Very nice to meet you, sir. 47 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,617 All right, love you, bye. 48 00:02:55,650 --> 00:02:57,819 - Meow, meow... - You guys seen Herb? 49 00:02:57,852 --> 00:02:59,621 Jer-Bear, we're in the middle of something. 50 00:02:59,654 --> 00:03:00,923 Please don't call me Jer-Bear, I just want... 51 00:03:00,956 --> 00:03:03,259 ♪ Leave us the fuck alone ♪ 52 00:03:03,292 --> 00:03:04,193 Bye. 53 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,928 ♪ Leave us the fuck alone ♪ 54 00:03:05,961 --> 00:03:07,329 - Jerry, where the fuck is Herb? - Looking for him right now. 55 00:03:07,363 --> 00:03:09,165 I need to mic him up before we go live. 56 00:03:09,198 --> 00:03:11,133 Sound doesn't penetrate a fucking snowsuit, Jerry. 57 00:03:11,167 --> 00:03:14,937 - I'm on it, Karen. - Aw thanks, asshat. 58 00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:16,704 Six minutes. 59 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,606 Good morning, Goshen. 60 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:19,741 Morning. 61 00:03:19,774 --> 00:03:20,976 Good morning, Goshen! 62 00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:23,845 - Good morning Go-shen... - Ernest! 63 00:03:23,879 --> 00:03:24,947 - Have you seen Herb? - What? 64 00:03:24,980 --> 00:03:26,215 - Herb. - What? 65 00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:29,952 I... I don't know, Jerry. 66 00:03:29,985 --> 00:03:31,387 Okay. 67 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,155 Hey, have we checked his dressing room? 68 00:03:33,189 --> 00:03:35,623 The sign on the door says "In Kringle Time." 69 00:03:35,657 --> 00:03:37,126 I just assumed he's on set. 70 00:03:37,159 --> 00:03:38,894 - That's not what that means. - What does it mean? 71 00:03:38,928 --> 00:03:40,728 Herb needs personal time during the day. 72 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,630 - He calls it "Kringle Time." - Well it's also the name 73 00:03:42,664 --> 00:03:44,934 of the show, so it's just confusing. 74 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:48,003 It is confusing, thank you, Greg. 75 00:03:48,037 --> 00:03:51,639 - Herb, we're at... - Jerry, I have to quit. 76 00:03:51,673 --> 00:03:52,408 Wh... can we talk about this later? 77 00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:55,643 No, I'm sorry. 78 00:04:02,084 --> 00:04:04,819 Herb, we gotta stop burning through interns. 79 00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:07,923 It's this place, Jerry. 80 00:04:17,765 --> 00:04:19,868 When your dad and I started this show, 81 00:04:19,902 --> 00:04:21,370 I never thought I'd be here now. 82 00:04:21,403 --> 00:04:22,837 We really don't have time for this today. 83 00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:26,175 Three decades and here I am. 84 00:04:26,208 --> 00:04:30,045 Gathering dust inside a fraying snowman. 85 00:04:30,079 --> 00:04:32,780 Doesn't sound so bad. 86 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,117 You're a fuck-up, Jerry. 87 00:04:35,151 --> 00:04:40,022 You don't know nothing. 88 00:04:40,055 --> 00:04:46,395 Okay. 89 00:04:46,428 --> 00:04:48,230 - Hey, big love. - Tell me the mantra again. 90 00:04:48,264 --> 00:04:49,398 Take the turn! 91 00:04:49,431 --> 00:04:51,100 Come on, Grayson, you fuck! 92 00:04:51,133 --> 00:04:53,235 Is that my daughter on the phone? 93 00:04:53,269 --> 00:04:55,337 - Yes. - ...At the fucking Hamptons! 94 00:04:55,371 --> 00:04:56,939 Herb won't come to set, what's the thing you said last time? 95 00:04:56,972 --> 00:04:58,174 Come on, Grayson, you're better than this. 96 00:04:58,207 --> 00:05:00,342 - What did you say last time? - Oh. 97 00:05:00,376 --> 00:05:04,113 Tell him there's only one Kringles. 98 00:05:04,146 --> 00:05:07,316 Can't control our legacy, Jerry. 99 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:10,085 That's... that's what I figured out. 100 00:05:10,119 --> 00:05:14,156 At the end of the day, our life's just a... 101 00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:17,859 There's only one Kringles. 102 00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:23,499 Fuck it. 103 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,767 Karen, found your snowman! 104 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,437 - How you doing, love? - For fuck's sake, Herb! 105 00:05:28,470 --> 00:05:30,272 Ugh, God, you smell like piss on the rocks. 106 00:05:30,306 --> 00:05:31,974 - Yeah, well... - We got two minutes! 107 00:05:32,007 --> 00:05:33,741 I feel like Brooklyn is where I belong, 108 00:05:33,775 --> 00:05:35,743 but Manhattan is, like, my soul. 109 00:05:35,777 --> 00:05:37,479 - Uptown or downtown? - No, Manhattan. 110 00:05:37,513 --> 00:05:39,181 - You found Herb? - Yeah. 111 00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:41,450 - Is he drunk? - Where's the mayor? 112 00:05:41,483 --> 00:05:45,988 Oh Jesus. 113 00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:47,022 Mr. Mayor. 114 00:05:47,056 --> 00:05:49,391 Is this 4K, or what? 115 00:05:49,425 --> 00:05:50,792 Yeah, it's great, huh? 116 00:05:50,825 --> 00:05:52,127 Don't wander off. 117 00:05:52,161 --> 00:05:54,129 - Yeah, great technology. - Mhm. 118 00:05:54,163 --> 00:05:58,934 - You use three cameras on this? - That's right. 119 00:05:58,968 --> 00:06:02,071 Herb, you good? 120 00:06:02,104 --> 00:06:04,039 As good as it gets, Jer. 121 00:06:08,544 --> 00:06:11,547 Meant to say that kids are the bane of my existence, 122 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:15,251 but that's, you know, you do what you gotta do, right? 123 00:06:15,284 --> 00:06:16,885 This place that I got in Brooklyn... 124 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,820 All right, ladies and gentlemen, we are live in... 125 00:06:18,853 --> 00:06:20,289 Five. 126 00:06:20,322 --> 00:06:22,024 Four. 127 00:06:22,057 --> 00:06:23,492 Three. 128 00:06:23,525 --> 00:06:25,127 Two. 129 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,196 Fade up title. 130 00:06:27,229 --> 00:06:29,831 - Is that here? - Nope, up one. 131 00:06:29,864 --> 00:06:31,866 - Okay, there. - It's Kringle Time! 132 00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:33,469 And we're live. 133 00:06:33,502 --> 00:06:36,238 ♪ Whenever you feel sadness ♪ 134 00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:40,842 ♪ And your face is full of frownies ♪ 135 00:06:40,876 --> 00:06:44,480 ♪ Yesterday was uppies ♪ 136 00:06:44,513 --> 00:06:48,317 ♪ But today you have the downies ♪ 137 00:06:48,350 --> 00:06:51,920 ♪ Then maybe you should call upon ♪ 138 00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:56,558 ♪ That shining ball of snow ♪ 139 00:06:56,592 --> 00:07:00,129 ♪ And if you've never met him ♪ 140 00:07:00,162 --> 00:07:01,530 ♪ Then there's something you should know ♪ 141 00:07:01,563 --> 00:07:05,968 And camera two, you are live. 142 00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:08,137 ♪ His name is Kringles ♪ 143 00:07:08,170 --> 00:07:11,907 ♪ And when he swings his magic lasso you'll feel tingles ♪ 144 00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:14,343 ♪ And you'll sing "Scrip-a-doo-banana-jamma" ♪ 145 00:07:14,376 --> 00:07:16,245 ♪ Scrip-a-doo-banana-jamma ♪ 146 00:07:16,278 --> 00:07:18,180 ♪ Kringles ♪ 147 00:07:18,213 --> 00:07:21,450 ♪ He is the man of snow who can do anythingles ♪ 148 00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:24,186 ♪ When you sing "Scrip-a-doo-banana-jamma" ♪ 149 00:07:24,219 --> 00:07:27,189 ♪ Scrip-a-doo-banana-jamma ♪ 150 00:07:27,222 --> 00:07:29,158 Uh oh, cowpokes! 151 00:07:29,191 --> 00:07:31,327 I don't have enough magical power 152 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,629 to do the Kringle Twist yet. 153 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,597 You must not be wishing hard enough. 154 00:07:35,631 --> 00:07:37,433 And mark. 155 00:07:37,466 --> 00:07:39,034 ♪ Ahhhh ♪ 156 00:07:39,068 --> 00:07:40,602 ♪ Ahhhh ♪ 157 00:07:40,636 --> 00:07:42,438 ♪ Ahhhh ♪ 158 00:07:42,471 --> 00:07:44,106 ♪ Ahhhh ♪ 159 00:07:44,139 --> 00:07:46,008 ♪ Yippie-yah-yo ♪ 160 00:07:48,277 --> 00:07:50,279 ♪ Instead of eyes, he has two holes ♪ 161 00:07:50,312 --> 00:07:52,114 ♪ And he can see into your souls ♪ 162 00:07:52,147 --> 00:07:53,382 ♪ And his terrifying power just grows stronger ♪ 163 00:07:53,415 --> 00:07:56,452 Standby camera one for Kringles Korner, that'll take us out. 164 00:07:56,485 --> 00:07:59,088 ♪ With every breath you take ♪ 165 00:07:59,121 --> 00:08:01,357 Anger me at your own peril. 166 00:08:01,390 --> 00:08:04,259 We love you, Kringles! 167 00:08:04,293 --> 00:08:05,327 You're the snowman! 168 00:08:05,361 --> 00:08:07,363 And camera two, you're live. 169 00:08:07,396 --> 00:08:10,265 Let's find out what we got today. 170 00:08:10,299 --> 00:08:13,402 Whoa, It looks like Kringles got a letter! 171 00:08:13,435 --> 00:08:15,170 What does it say, Kringles? 172 00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:17,039 Let's find out, Jaxon. 173 00:08:25,981 --> 00:08:27,015 Let's see here. 174 00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:29,952 "Dear Kringles..." 175 00:08:39,094 --> 00:08:41,563 "Dear Kringles..." 176 00:08:52,608 --> 00:08:56,311 What's going on, Herb? 177 00:08:56,345 --> 00:09:00,549 S... sorry Kringles... 178 00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:03,986 is having a... 179 00:09:09,625 --> 00:09:12,694 Should I cut, Jerry? 180 00:09:12,728 --> 00:09:15,431 Herb, Herb! Don't say anything and do not... 181 00:09:15,464 --> 00:09:16,999 Call 911! 182 00:09:19,501 --> 00:09:21,437 Get the goddamn suit off of him! 183 00:09:24,339 --> 00:09:25,541 Would you stop! 184 00:09:25,574 --> 00:09:27,009 I'm trying to help! 185 00:09:27,042 --> 00:09:30,279 Just call the goddamn ambulance! 186 00:09:30,312 --> 00:09:33,649 Jerry, how do I cut again? 187 00:09:33,682 --> 00:09:35,751 It's the red goddamn button, Ethel! 188 00:09:39,154 --> 00:09:40,355 Come on, Herb. 189 00:09:47,095 --> 00:09:51,333 Never take off the... 190 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:52,661 Thank you, Gunther. 191 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:55,364 In accordance with Herb's final wishes, 192 00:10:55,397 --> 00:10:58,500 his ashes will be scattered 193 00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:02,504 in this parking lot. 194 00:11:02,538 --> 00:11:09,411 Where he met his beloved ex-wife, Sue Ann. 195 00:11:09,444 --> 00:11:12,548 His daughter, Layla, who was also conceived 196 00:11:12,581 --> 00:11:18,854 in this parking lot, will now say a few words. 197 00:11:18,888 --> 00:11:22,190 Sweetheart, you ready? 198 00:11:39,274 --> 00:11:43,712 My father was a snowman. 199 00:12:06,535 --> 00:12:09,838 Love you, daddy. 200 00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:28,690 What good can be said about Herb 201 00:12:28,724 --> 00:12:34,196 that was not already said by Herb? 202 00:12:34,229 --> 00:12:39,801 He was a man who demanded much from others. 203 00:12:39,835 --> 00:12:45,574 And less... much less from himself. 204 00:12:45,607 --> 00:12:48,577 Oh god, the board is miles up my ass. 205 00:12:48,610 --> 00:12:50,646 - They want to pull the plug. - They can't do that. 206 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:52,414 They can do anything they want. 207 00:12:52,447 --> 00:12:54,216 It's public-access. 208 00:12:54,249 --> 00:12:55,684 You're not gonna let them. 209 00:12:55,717 --> 00:13:02,892 I don't want to make enemies, Jer. 210 00:13:02,925 --> 00:13:06,528 They're giving me one show, Jer. 211 00:13:06,561 --> 00:13:12,501 A comeback show to de-traumatize the kids or whatever. 212 00:13:12,534 --> 00:13:14,803 Well that oughta be fun, without a Kringles. 213 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:17,907 Our target audience is five-year-olds. 214 00:13:17,940 --> 00:13:19,875 We could swap the body out of that suit mid-episode 215 00:13:19,909 --> 00:13:23,980 and they wouldn't notice. 216 00:13:24,013 --> 00:13:26,281 You, uh... 217 00:13:26,314 --> 00:13:29,651 got someone in mind or? 218 00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,486 From where I'm standing, 219 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:36,558 I can see one person who could do the job right now. 220 00:13:36,591 --> 00:13:38,928 You mean? 221 00:13:38,961 --> 00:13:40,862 Over there, Jerry. 222 00:13:40,897 --> 00:13:44,232 Look where I'm looking. 223 00:13:44,266 --> 00:13:46,868 What, Mark? That guy's an idiot. 224 00:13:46,903 --> 00:13:50,272 - He's young, he's handsome. - Who cares if he's handsome? 225 00:13:50,305 --> 00:13:51,707 He's gonna be inside of a snowman. 226 00:13:51,740 --> 00:13:53,275 - He's great with the kids. - Yeah 227 00:13:53,308 --> 00:13:56,012 because they recognize their own kind. 228 00:13:56,045 --> 00:13:58,580 Trust me, Jerry, he's the one. 229 00:13:58,613 --> 00:14:02,317 You are looking at the future of Kringle Time. 230 00:14:02,350 --> 00:14:06,722 Hopefully, for a good many years. 231 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:10,993 Daphne. 232 00:14:11,027 --> 00:14:13,528 Yeah? 233 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,764 - I quit... - Excuse me, 234 00:14:15,797 --> 00:14:17,566 are we ready to do this? 235 00:14:17,599 --> 00:14:18,867 Yeah, let's do it! 236 00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,736 Come on, let's go. 237 00:14:27,009 --> 00:14:28,844 Ready for what? 238 00:14:30,812 --> 00:14:35,250 Okay, uh, thank you all for, uh, for coming. 239 00:14:38,553 --> 00:14:40,990 "I, Herbert Lott Kelley, 240 00:14:41,023 --> 00:14:42,824 resident of the City of Goshen, 241 00:14:42,858 --> 00:14:46,062 declare this document to be my last will and testament. 242 00:14:46,095 --> 00:14:47,964 To Gunther, I leave my collection 243 00:14:47,997 --> 00:14:50,332 of presidential commemorative coins. 244 00:14:50,365 --> 00:14:53,301 I trust you know what to do with them. 245 00:14:53,335 --> 00:14:57,974 To the current Mayor of Goshen" that would be Mr. Jorkins 246 00:14:58,007 --> 00:15:01,309 "I bequeath the hon..." Why are you... you don't have to stand. 247 00:15:01,343 --> 00:15:03,946 I'm just gonna, like, rattatat through this, so you can. 248 00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:04,981 Okay. 249 00:15:05,014 --> 00:15:07,582 Thank you. 250 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,886 "To the current Mayor of Goshen, I bequeath the honor 251 00:15:09,919 --> 00:15:13,722 of erecting a statue in my likeness..." 252 00:15:13,755 --> 00:15:18,995 Jerry, he said "erecting." 253 00:15:19,028 --> 00:15:21,097 - It would be my great honor... - Why are you... 254 00:15:21,130 --> 00:15:23,799 To erect a statue of Herb. 255 00:15:23,832 --> 00:15:25,534 Could you write that down, that it would be my great honor? 256 00:15:25,567 --> 00:15:26,903 - No, that's not my job. - Okay, sure. 257 00:15:26,936 --> 00:15:29,437 - Could you just... - I accept this task. 258 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,673 All right, here we go. 259 00:15:31,706 --> 00:15:34,110 "To my beautiful daughter, Layla, I bequeath my house..." 260 00:15:34,143 --> 00:15:35,844 Present. 261 00:15:35,878 --> 00:15:40,883 "And all possessions in it, unless otherwise noted." 262 00:15:40,917 --> 00:15:44,954 "And next, the role of Kringles the Snowman, 263 00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:47,890 including snowman suit and all paraphernalia" 264 00:15:47,924 --> 00:15:51,493 in my dressing room, including my safe and its contents 265 00:15:51,526 --> 00:15:54,897 are hereby bequeathed to Jericho Perkins." 266 00:15:58,867 --> 00:16:02,138 Who the hell's that? 267 00:16:06,474 --> 00:16:09,444 Jerry, can I talk to you for a second? 268 00:16:09,477 --> 00:16:11,847 Uh. 269 00:16:11,881 --> 00:16:14,583 Production meeting, 4 o'clock tomorrow. 270 00:16:14,616 --> 00:16:16,953 You're gonna graciously step down and pass the torch 271 00:16:16,986 --> 00:16:20,990 to that beautiful idiot over there. 272 00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,960 - Jerry! - Or I swear to God, 273 00:16:23,993 --> 00:16:25,928 Jerry Perkins. 274 00:16:25,962 --> 00:16:30,498 I will destroy you. 275 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:35,972 All right, love you, see you tomorrow. 276 00:16:36,005 --> 00:16:40,142 The door... the door's locked. 277 00:16:40,176 --> 00:16:41,676 Jerry! 278 00:16:59,461 --> 00:17:01,197 Love you. 279 00:17:34,829 --> 00:17:36,564 The show was his life. 280 00:17:41,170 --> 00:17:43,805 You know, growing up, I probably saw him more often in that suit 281 00:17:43,838 --> 00:17:45,540 than I saw him out of it. 282 00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:54,482 I'm not asking you to put me through what he did. 283 00:17:54,516 --> 00:17:57,186 But don't listen to anyone, Jerry. 284 00:17:57,219 --> 00:17:59,121 God knows he never fucking did. 285 00:18:26,315 --> 00:18:30,152 ♪ If I had my way... ♪ 286 00:18:30,186 --> 00:18:32,054 God! 287 00:18:32,088 --> 00:18:33,055 Morning, Gunther. 288 00:18:33,089 --> 00:18:35,590 Guten tag, Jerry. 289 00:18:35,623 --> 00:18:38,260 - Did you take my trash out yet? - Fünf minuten, Jerry. 290 00:18:38,294 --> 00:18:42,932 ♪ I would tear this whole building down... ♪ 291 00:18:42,965 --> 00:18:45,134 Good morning, Goshen! 292 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:48,904 This week, we said goodbye to Herb Kelley. 293 00:18:48,938 --> 00:18:54,709 Our beloved... beloved snowman. 294 00:18:54,743 --> 00:18:57,246 Goshen Public-Access, this is Jerry. 295 00:18:57,279 --> 00:19:02,751 Yes, this was our first on-air death. 296 00:19:02,784 --> 00:19:04,586 - Mr. Perkins? - Yes. 297 00:19:04,619 --> 00:19:07,756 Jasmine. 298 00:19:07,789 --> 00:19:12,194 You're Herb's new intern. 299 00:19:12,228 --> 00:19:14,930 Just get you down here, it's Jasmine? 300 00:19:19,301 --> 00:19:25,673 Okay, um, so Herb's dead. 301 00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:30,079 - Let's pour one out.. - Ernest. 302 00:19:30,112 --> 00:19:33,916 - ...for Herb. - Ernest, don't pour that... 303 00:19:33,949 --> 00:19:38,220 Uh, yeah, so Tuesday I slapped a subordinate. 304 00:19:38,254 --> 00:19:40,722 Yeah, I know, Father, but I don't have time to come in. 305 00:19:40,755 --> 00:19:42,892 We do not intentionally remind our viewers 306 00:19:42,925 --> 00:19:44,927 of their own mortality, no. 307 00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:53,035 So these are the editing bays right here. 308 00:19:53,069 --> 00:19:54,636 Hey fellas, how we doing? 309 00:19:54,669 --> 00:19:56,072 - Oh it's a nightmare. - Okay. 310 00:19:56,105 --> 00:19:58,040 So the studio's down there, just a heads-up, 311 00:19:58,074 --> 00:19:59,808 we had to disable these smoke detectors. 312 00:19:59,841 --> 00:20:01,010 They kept going off. 313 00:20:01,043 --> 00:20:02,178 We have a lot of fires. 314 00:20:02,211 --> 00:20:04,013 Old equipment and stuff. 315 00:20:04,046 --> 00:20:05,948 But no big deal, Gunther's on point 316 00:20:05,981 --> 00:20:07,615 with the fire extinguisher, right Gunther? 317 00:20:07,649 --> 00:20:09,851 - Jawohl. - No worries there. 318 00:20:09,885 --> 00:20:15,124 ♪ If I had my way I would tear this whole damn town... ♪ 319 00:20:15,157 --> 00:20:17,326 Hey guys, just a reminder, production meeting at 4. 320 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,628 Jerry, hey, just a reminder to eat a dick. 321 00:20:20,662 --> 00:20:22,764 Nailed it. 322 00:20:22,797 --> 00:20:24,366 - Great, thanks. - Bye. 323 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:29,771 Actually, the show has nothing to do with Christmas. 324 00:20:29,804 --> 00:20:31,907 I'm sorry you feel that way. 325 00:20:31,941 --> 00:20:34,676 Herb. 326 00:20:34,709 --> 00:20:39,115 Good bo... good day, Herb. 327 00:20:39,148 --> 00:20:42,218 So, what am I going to be doing here? 328 00:20:42,251 --> 00:20:45,221 Oh, uh, we'll think of something. 329 00:20:45,254 --> 00:20:49,391 ♪ If I had my way... ♪ 330 00:20:49,425 --> 00:20:50,893 Good show, Ernest. 331 00:20:52,895 --> 00:20:56,031 ♪ I'd tear this whole building down... ♪ 332 00:20:56,065 --> 00:20:57,933 Welcome aboard. 333 00:20:57,967 --> 00:21:06,841 ♪ If I had my way, I would tear this whole building down ♪ 334 00:21:11,447 --> 00:21:13,215 You are a shining ball 335 00:21:13,249 --> 00:21:15,683 in the darkness of existence. 336 00:21:41,743 --> 00:21:42,878 - Hey Jerry! - Ah. 337 00:21:42,912 --> 00:21:44,346 - Mayor Jorkins. - Yes, sir. 338 00:21:44,380 --> 00:21:45,847 We've met. 339 00:21:45,881 --> 00:21:47,316 As you know, I've been entrusted with the task 340 00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:49,717 of building a statue of Herb and I was hoping 341 00:21:49,751 --> 00:21:51,921 to grab a couple of minutes of your time. 342 00:21:51,954 --> 00:21:53,322 I've never worked on statues before, 343 00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:55,757 so I need all the help I can get on something... 344 00:21:55,790 --> 00:21:58,060 Yeah, yeah I actually have to jump into a meeting real quick, 345 00:21:58,093 --> 00:21:59,995 - so I'm just gonna... - Great, this will only 346 00:22:00,029 --> 00:22:02,830 take a second, are we thinking bronze or marble? 347 00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:05,901 Yeah, that's uh, uh-huh. 348 00:22:05,935 --> 00:22:10,272 Great, well we'll circle back around on the statue later then. 349 00:22:10,306 --> 00:22:13,042 Personally, I think the bronze works great, 350 00:22:13,075 --> 00:22:16,212 but that's just my opinion. 351 00:22:16,245 --> 00:22:18,380 Yeah, it's in Williamsburg. 352 00:22:18,414 --> 00:22:20,782 Ugh, oh my gosh, I love Williamsburg. 353 00:22:20,815 --> 00:22:23,118 That's so cute. 354 00:22:23,152 --> 00:22:24,852 If I put down my deposit by the 14th, 355 00:22:24,887 --> 00:22:26,055 I could move in, like, next month. 356 00:22:26,088 --> 00:22:27,523 Do it, do it, do it! 357 00:22:27,556 --> 00:22:30,059 - Guys, I have something to say. - Oh, oh, oh, oh. 358 00:22:30,092 --> 00:22:34,396 Hey, hey, you guys, you guys, the boss is here. 359 00:22:34,430 --> 00:22:36,198 I'm not your boss. 360 00:22:36,232 --> 00:22:40,102 Hey, Jerry, raise your hand. 361 00:22:40,135 --> 00:22:42,238 That's how many people care. 362 00:22:42,271 --> 00:22:45,174 Ah, okay. 363 00:22:45,207 --> 00:22:47,009 Hey Jerry, Jerry, if you respected yourself 364 00:22:47,042 --> 00:22:48,510 a little more, you'd probably fix a lot of problems 365 00:22:48,544 --> 00:22:53,048 at work, bro, and at home! 366 00:22:53,082 --> 00:22:54,283 Okay, great. 367 00:22:54,316 --> 00:22:57,920 Um, so look I, uh... 368 00:22:57,953 --> 00:23:00,089 I grew up with Kringle Time. 369 00:23:00,122 --> 00:23:03,825 Okay, I... I believe in Kringle Time. 370 00:23:03,858 --> 00:23:07,529 I've given my life to this station because of Kringle Time. 371 00:23:12,534 --> 00:23:14,503 When I was nine years old, 372 00:23:14,536 --> 00:23:17,139 I started writing down my ideas for the show. 373 00:23:17,172 --> 00:23:21,877 And more than anything in the entire world 374 00:23:21,910 --> 00:23:22,978 I wanted to be Kringles. 375 00:23:25,047 --> 00:23:27,516 - Is he gonna cry? - I'm not just a pencil pusher. 376 00:23:27,549 --> 00:23:29,952 Okay, I've been planning this my entire life. 377 00:23:29,985 --> 00:23:34,089 And I know you guys don't trust me, but... 378 00:23:34,123 --> 00:23:37,859 Herb did, so trust him. 379 00:23:44,266 --> 00:23:46,135 Show me. 380 00:23:50,072 --> 00:23:51,839 ♪ Move with the hip ♪ 381 00:23:51,873 --> 00:23:53,976 ♪ Shake it up, salt on the cup, gets there teen ♪ 382 00:23:54,009 --> 00:23:55,611 ♪ You've been working on your flirting ♪ 383 00:23:55,644 --> 00:23:58,147 ♪ With the weekend you can freak out ♪ 384 00:23:58,180 --> 00:23:59,615 ♪ One in a million ♪ 385 00:23:59,648 --> 00:24:02,084 ♪ You're a gem, shine when the light grows dim ♪ 386 00:24:02,117 --> 00:24:06,155 ♪ Say one, two, three, four, three, two, one ♪ 387 00:24:06,188 --> 00:24:08,157 ♪ Cause no one can do it like we do it ♪ 388 00:24:08,190 --> 00:24:10,125 ♪ Like we do it, like we do it ♪ 389 00:24:10,159 --> 00:24:12,227 ♪ Cause no one can do it like we do it ♪ 390 00:24:12,261 --> 00:24:14,163 ♪ Like we do it, like we do it ♪ 391 00:24:14,196 --> 00:24:16,231 ♪ Cause no one can do it like we do it ♪ 392 00:24:16,265 --> 00:24:18,267 ♪ Like we do it, like we do it ♪ 393 00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:21,303 ♪ Cause no one can do it like we do it, like we do it ♪ 394 00:24:21,337 --> 00:24:23,005 ♪ Like we do it ♪ 395 00:24:23,038 --> 00:24:24,973 ♪ We got the right stuff ♪ 396 00:24:25,007 --> 00:24:26,975 ♪ We put the hammer right down ♪ 397 00:24:27,009 --> 00:24:28,877 ♪ You want to be like us ♪ 398 00:24:28,911 --> 00:24:31,246 ♪ You better stick around ♪ 399 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:35,317 ♪ If you want it, you gotta prove it ♪ 400 00:24:35,351 --> 00:24:38,320 ♪ Like we do it, like we do it ♪ 401 00:24:38,354 --> 00:24:41,957 Or not. 402 00:24:41,990 --> 00:24:44,193 Awful, Jerry, very awful. 403 00:24:44,226 --> 00:24:48,897 That's the weirdest shit I've ever seen, man. 404 00:24:56,538 --> 00:25:00,342 Sit down, Jerry. 405 00:25:03,412 --> 00:25:06,014 Jerry. 406 00:25:06,048 --> 00:25:09,985 Who is Kringles? 407 00:25:10,018 --> 00:25:12,488 Kringles is a magical snowman from Alaska 408 00:25:12,521 --> 00:25:14,323 who was brought to life by an ice wizard. 409 00:25:14,356 --> 00:25:16,592 He's fueled by the power of wishes. 410 00:25:16,625 --> 00:25:18,494 Hm, wrong. 411 00:25:18,527 --> 00:25:20,229 Kringles is a knock-off Frosty 412 00:25:20,262 --> 00:25:21,964 the station didn't have to license. 413 00:25:21,997 --> 00:25:25,601 Okay, Kringles is way different than Frosty the Snowman, 414 00:25:25,634 --> 00:25:27,669 - that's... - Oh, how? 415 00:25:27,703 --> 00:25:29,705 Uh, well he has a lasso, for one thing. 416 00:25:29,738 --> 00:25:32,674 Hm, and why does a snowman need a lasso, Jerry? 417 00:25:32,708 --> 00:25:34,376 Uh, because, Daphne, 418 00:25:34,410 --> 00:25:36,612 the lasso contains the spirit of Arizona Willie, 419 00:25:36,645 --> 00:25:38,113 which of course can only be summoned 420 00:25:38,147 --> 00:25:39,648 with the magical chant by the children. 421 00:25:39,681 --> 00:25:41,984 Scrip-a-doo-banana-jamma, I don't really understand 422 00:25:42,017 --> 00:25:43,719 the question, it's in the goddamn song. 423 00:25:43,752 --> 00:25:46,955 Yeah but... look, I'm not gonna have this argument with you. 424 00:25:46,989 --> 00:25:48,991 Kringles was the cheapest costume they could afford, 425 00:25:49,024 --> 00:25:50,559 and it went from there. 426 00:25:50,592 --> 00:25:52,995 My apologies, I should have been a little more specific... 427 00:25:53,028 --> 00:25:54,062 Listen to the goddamn song. 428 00:25:54,096 --> 00:25:58,333 Who is Kringles to you? 429 00:25:58,367 --> 00:26:00,169 What? 430 00:26:00,202 --> 00:26:02,638 Who is Kringles to you? 431 00:26:07,176 --> 00:26:11,113 Kringles taught me right from wrong. 432 00:26:11,146 --> 00:26:14,416 He told me to believe in myself. 433 00:26:17,519 --> 00:26:20,756 He was my first friend. 434 00:26:20,789 --> 00:26:22,124 Right. 435 00:26:25,661 --> 00:26:29,765 Now say we do... 436 00:26:29,798 --> 00:26:35,370 whatever that is and it hits home with one kid, 437 00:26:35,404 --> 00:26:40,075 one future Jerry out there who really connects with it. 438 00:26:40,108 --> 00:26:43,779 But in doing so, we've robbed a hundred other normal kids 439 00:26:43,812 --> 00:26:45,180 of that relationship with Kringles 440 00:26:45,214 --> 00:26:47,483 that you just mentioned. 441 00:26:47,516 --> 00:26:49,785 Does that seem worth it, Jerry? 442 00:28:29,718 --> 00:28:33,555 Good morning Goshen. 443 00:28:33,589 --> 00:28:36,625 Goshen, city of Goshen. 444 00:28:36,658 --> 00:28:39,795 Goshen Public Works announced that the pothole 445 00:28:39,828 --> 00:28:43,632 on 2nd and Gage has been filled in. 446 00:28:43,665 --> 00:28:48,136 I guess you could call it a not-hole now. 447 00:28:48,170 --> 00:28:50,572 And fear not, snowman fans. 448 00:28:50,606 --> 00:28:52,307 Because it's been confirmed 449 00:28:52,341 --> 00:28:55,477 that Kringles The Snowman will live on. 450 00:28:55,510 --> 00:28:59,214 In the capable hands of Jerry Perkins. 451 00:28:59,247 --> 00:29:01,850 So tune in on Saturday at the regular time, 452 00:29:01,884 --> 00:29:04,586 coming up this Saturday. 453 00:29:04,620 --> 00:29:06,655 And why don't we all wish Jerry... 454 00:29:06,688 --> 00:29:09,591 Let's wish Jerry good times. 455 00:29:09,625 --> 00:29:11,560 Jerry's playing Kringles. 456 00:29:37,219 --> 00:29:39,655 Jerry, how we doing, buddy? 457 00:29:39,688 --> 00:29:42,357 You ready to get started? You feel good? You look good. 458 00:29:42,391 --> 00:29:43,859 - Yeah, let's go, come on! - All right. 459 00:29:43,893 --> 00:29:46,695 Pow pow! 460 00:29:46,728 --> 00:29:48,697 - Pow! - Pow. 461 00:29:48,730 --> 00:29:50,499 Keep it positive, keep it fresh, keep it bright 462 00:29:50,532 --> 00:29:52,200 and we're gonna do it big, okay? 463 00:29:52,234 --> 00:29:53,268 Just like every day. Here we go. 464 00:29:53,301 --> 00:29:54,904 Five, six, seven, eight. 465 00:29:54,937 --> 00:29:58,774 Shimmy and Kringle Twist! 466 00:29:58,807 --> 00:30:00,609 Ugh! 467 00:30:02,444 --> 00:30:04,379 Good girl. 468 00:30:04,413 --> 00:30:06,248 Dog Store, this is Layla speaking. 469 00:30:06,281 --> 00:30:08,517 I can't do it. I'm freaking out. 470 00:30:08,550 --> 00:30:11,286 - Just breathe, Jerry. - I'm too old. 471 00:30:11,319 --> 00:30:14,556 I'm old and I'm soft and I'm gonna die someday. 472 00:30:14,589 --> 00:30:17,292 - You're not gonna die, Jerry. - We're all gonna die! 473 00:30:17,325 --> 00:30:19,861 And I'm gonna be forgotten, like George Lazenby. 474 00:30:19,896 --> 00:30:22,564 - Who? - That's what I mean. 475 00:30:22,597 --> 00:30:24,499 He was James Bond, Layla. 476 00:30:24,533 --> 00:30:25,767 Freaking James Bond! 477 00:30:25,801 --> 00:30:27,904 And now he's dead and forgotten. 478 00:30:27,937 --> 00:30:29,972 Or maybe he's still alive. I don't know, I don't know. 479 00:30:30,006 --> 00:30:32,240 Nobody knows, you know why? Because nobody gives a fuck 480 00:30:32,274 --> 00:30:33,943 about George Lazenby! 481 00:30:33,976 --> 00:30:35,912 You know the combination to your dad's safe? 482 00:30:35,945 --> 00:30:37,646 - I don't. - He left me a safe 483 00:30:37,679 --> 00:30:39,581 with no combination, I mean, who does that? 484 00:30:39,614 --> 00:30:41,850 I gotta go, babe, okay? 485 00:30:41,884 --> 00:30:44,252 There's whiskey in here and I need it. 486 00:30:44,286 --> 00:30:49,458 You're gonna do great, all right, just... 487 00:30:49,491 --> 00:30:52,394 - Big love. - Big love. 488 00:31:02,304 --> 00:31:04,372 You are more than this... 489 00:31:30,532 --> 00:31:32,034 Dad? 490 00:31:34,536 --> 00:31:36,505 Blinders, Jerry. 491 00:31:45,982 --> 00:31:49,751 - Hey there, Jerry. - Shit. 492 00:31:54,389 --> 00:31:55,390 Hey, what are you doing? 493 00:31:55,423 --> 00:31:56,993 I'm fine, I'm fine. 494 00:31:57,026 --> 00:32:00,562 - Are you jerkin' it, dude? - What? No. I'm not... no. 495 00:32:00,595 --> 00:32:04,666 - Hey guys, Jerry's jerking it! - I'm not jerking it! 496 00:32:04,699 --> 00:32:06,368 God. 497 00:32:06,401 --> 00:32:08,971 Hey man, have a good jerk. 498 00:32:09,005 --> 00:32:12,440 I'm not... I'm not jerk... Naveed! 499 00:32:18,413 --> 00:32:19,648 Hiya Jerry, Mayor Jorkins. 500 00:32:19,681 --> 00:32:22,517 Yes sir, we've met numerous times. 501 00:32:22,551 --> 00:32:23,953 - You got a minute? - I'm actually really busy, 502 00:32:23,986 --> 00:32:25,487 - I've got a... - It'll just take a second. 503 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:26,521 I'm sorry I gotta... 504 00:32:27,990 --> 00:32:29,457 - What am I doing? - No, no. 505 00:32:29,491 --> 00:32:30,759 Come on, you want some coffee? 506 00:32:30,792 --> 00:32:32,427 Let's get some coffee. 507 00:32:32,460 --> 00:32:34,462 Yeah, okay. 508 00:32:34,496 --> 00:32:36,132 I can't do it, Jerry. 509 00:32:36,165 --> 00:32:38,100 I'm not gonna get it done, and then I'm just gonna be 510 00:32:38,134 --> 00:32:40,136 some guy who didn't build a statue at all. 511 00:32:40,169 --> 00:32:42,004 - Okay, hey, here you go. - Thank you, Jerry. 512 00:32:42,038 --> 00:32:44,539 Yeah. 513 00:32:47,977 --> 00:32:49,678 That's hot. 514 00:32:49,711 --> 00:32:50,779 It's a fresh pot. 515 00:32:50,812 --> 00:32:54,016 Mm. 516 00:32:54,050 --> 00:32:55,717 I should just quit. 517 00:32:55,750 --> 00:32:57,153 I don't know why I thought I could do this. 518 00:32:57,186 --> 00:33:00,089 Hey, look, it's just a statue. 519 00:33:00,122 --> 00:33:01,891 I mean, don't kill yourself building a monument 520 00:33:01,924 --> 00:33:05,527 to Herb's massive ego. 521 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,931 Just a statue? 522 00:33:08,965 --> 00:33:11,399 No, Jerry. 523 00:33:11,433 --> 00:33:13,970 A statue is history. 524 00:33:14,003 --> 00:33:16,605 A statue is important. 525 00:33:16,638 --> 00:33:20,775 A statue looks to the future and says, 526 00:33:20,809 --> 00:33:25,915 "Hey future, I'm dead. 527 00:33:25,948 --> 00:33:28,850 But I wasn't always dead. 528 00:33:28,885 --> 00:33:33,923 And when I was alive... 529 00:33:33,956 --> 00:33:37,193 I mattered." 530 00:33:37,226 --> 00:33:39,095 You just need a little help. 531 00:33:39,128 --> 00:33:42,697 Look, hey, there's this guy who helped Gunther a few years ago 532 00:33:42,731 --> 00:33:44,066 put the wainscoting in out back, 533 00:33:44,100 --> 00:33:45,800 maybe he's still got his contact. 534 00:33:45,834 --> 00:33:47,036 I'll ask him, all right? 535 00:33:47,069 --> 00:33:50,739 Hey Gunther... Jesus. 536 00:33:50,772 --> 00:33:55,577 You still got the card for that guy who... 537 00:33:55,610 --> 00:33:58,881 Thank you, Gunther. 538 00:33:58,915 --> 00:34:01,017 Here, maybe that'll help. 539 00:34:01,050 --> 00:34:02,817 Give him a call. 540 00:34:02,851 --> 00:34:05,587 - Thanks, Jerry. - Yeah. 541 00:34:05,620 --> 00:34:07,589 Oh, what are we? 542 00:34:07,622 --> 00:34:09,457 Okay, all right. 543 00:34:09,491 --> 00:34:12,995 - Thank you, Jerry. - Oh god. 544 00:34:13,029 --> 00:34:15,463 All right, why don't... no, no. 545 00:34:15,497 --> 00:34:17,233 This is a lot. 546 00:34:17,266 --> 00:34:18,466 - Zip. - Zap. 547 00:34:18,500 --> 00:34:19,501 - Zip. - Zap. 548 00:34:19,534 --> 00:34:20,468 - Zap. - Zip. 549 00:34:20,502 --> 00:34:21,070 - Zip. - Zap. 550 00:34:21,103 --> 00:34:21,603 - Zip, - Zap. 551 00:34:21,636 --> 00:34:24,240 - Zip. - Zip... oh. 552 00:34:24,273 --> 00:34:26,976 - You guys are coming for me. - Guys? 553 00:34:27,009 --> 00:34:28,210 It's okay, it's all right, buddy. 554 00:34:28,244 --> 00:34:29,577 Let's do it again, do it again. 555 00:34:29,611 --> 00:34:30,947 - Guys? - What, Jerry? 556 00:34:30,980 --> 00:34:32,882 - This shit again. - What's up, Jerry? 557 00:34:32,915 --> 00:34:36,118 I just want to say um... 558 00:34:36,152 --> 00:34:37,686 I know you guys don't think I can do this... 559 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,488 Oh my God, you're like a broken record. 560 00:34:40,522 --> 00:34:44,126 Shut up, this is a different thing. 561 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,162 I don't want to fight you guys, okay? 562 00:34:46,195 --> 00:34:50,933 And I'm not going to, I want to be a team player. 563 00:34:50,967 --> 00:34:53,102 I've been given a huge opportunity here, 564 00:34:53,135 --> 00:34:55,972 and I just, uh... 565 00:34:56,005 --> 00:34:59,574 I won't let you down. 566 00:35:02,211 --> 00:35:03,845 What are you doing? 567 00:35:06,815 --> 00:35:08,616 We miss him too, bro. 568 00:35:13,122 --> 00:35:14,991 Feeling strong there today, Jer. 569 00:35:15,024 --> 00:35:17,759 Okay, remember, it's absolutely not Christmas. 570 00:35:17,792 --> 00:35:19,627 And here we go. 571 00:35:19,661 --> 00:35:21,863 Ba-na-na-jamma! 572 00:35:25,834 --> 00:35:27,169 ♪ Ah ♪ 573 00:35:27,203 --> 00:35:30,538 Jerry, chin up, chin up, chin up, Jerry. 574 00:35:30,572 --> 00:35:32,640 And five, six, seven, eight. 575 00:35:38,047 --> 00:35:40,615 Yes, yes! 576 00:35:40,648 --> 00:35:42,584 That's what I'm talking about! 577 00:35:52,594 --> 00:35:57,199 ♪ His name is Kringles ♪ 578 00:35:57,233 --> 00:35:58,300 Sorry. 579 00:36:02,038 --> 00:36:03,872 Boom! There we go! 580 00:36:10,946 --> 00:36:12,081 ♪ Ah ♪ 581 00:36:12,114 --> 00:36:13,315 ♪ Ah ♪ 582 00:36:13,349 --> 00:36:14,816 ♪ Ah ♪ 583 00:36:14,849 --> 00:36:17,752 Oh my God, Jerry, what! 584 00:36:17,786 --> 00:36:21,223 Shimmy and Kringle Twist! 585 00:36:27,129 --> 00:36:29,831 - Do the wiggy, wiggy way. - Ah! 586 00:36:29,864 --> 00:36:31,699 Yeah, they invited me out for drinks. 587 00:36:31,733 --> 00:36:33,635 - Oh that's great, Jer! - I know, right? 588 00:36:33,668 --> 00:36:36,671 Hey, is it all right if I miss the race? 589 00:36:36,704 --> 00:36:39,008 Yeah, sure. 590 00:36:39,041 --> 00:36:40,309 Great. 591 00:36:40,342 --> 00:36:43,212 I'll see you later tonight. 592 00:36:43,245 --> 00:36:45,047 - Big love. - Big love. 593 00:36:49,018 --> 00:36:51,220 Okay, okay, Kringles Resurrection dress rehearsal, 594 00:36:51,253 --> 00:36:54,689 let's pick it up from right before the cult chant. 595 00:36:54,722 --> 00:36:56,992 And cue, Jaxon. 596 00:36:57,026 --> 00:36:58,693 I'm so glad you're back, Kringles! 597 00:36:58,726 --> 00:37:01,030 Oh thank you, Jaxon! 598 00:37:01,063 --> 00:37:05,067 And this time, I promise I will live forever. 599 00:37:08,037 --> 00:37:10,072 We will never die! 600 00:37:10,106 --> 00:37:12,274 We will never die! 601 00:37:12,308 --> 00:37:14,376 - We will never die! - Okay, okay, okay. 602 00:37:14,410 --> 00:37:16,278 You guys, that sounds fucking great! 603 00:37:16,312 --> 00:37:20,648 We will never die! We will never die! 604 00:37:20,682 --> 00:37:24,819 We will never die! We will never die! 605 00:37:24,853 --> 00:37:26,989 We will never die. 606 00:37:39,068 --> 00:37:41,370 Then last week, I fucked my sister's widower. 607 00:37:41,403 --> 00:37:44,240 I mean, his ass is incredible, though. 608 00:37:44,273 --> 00:37:46,008 No, she died fine, it was... 609 00:37:46,041 --> 00:37:47,409 Yeah? Oh, all right. 610 00:37:47,443 --> 00:37:49,345 Hey, Father? Yeah, I gotta go. 611 00:37:49,378 --> 00:37:52,181 All right, love you, bye. Yes, Jerry? 612 00:37:52,214 --> 00:37:55,850 Uh, I just had a question about the script. 613 00:37:55,885 --> 00:37:58,254 Okay? 614 00:37:58,287 --> 00:37:59,721 It seems like we're kind of telling kids 615 00:37:59,754 --> 00:38:02,824 that death doesn't matter. 616 00:38:02,857 --> 00:38:05,361 Hmm, it's interesting you picked up on that, 617 00:38:05,394 --> 00:38:07,829 because that's exactly what we're telling them. 618 00:38:07,862 --> 00:38:12,134 Ah and you don't think that's kind of um... 619 00:38:12,168 --> 00:38:14,203 I don't know... 620 00:38:14,236 --> 00:38:17,206 uh, irresponsible? 621 00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:19,841 Do you remember our conversation, Jerry? 622 00:38:19,874 --> 00:38:22,411 About giving people what they want? 623 00:38:22,444 --> 00:38:25,114 You know what kids want? 624 00:38:25,147 --> 00:38:26,482 Death. 625 00:38:26,515 --> 00:38:29,018 They love it. 626 00:38:29,051 --> 00:38:31,253 I'm fucking with you, Jerry! 627 00:38:31,287 --> 00:38:33,721 Kids hate death, they want their snowman alive, 628 00:38:33,755 --> 00:38:35,925 - that's what they want. - It just seems like this 629 00:38:35,958 --> 00:38:40,930 could be like a teachable moment, or... 630 00:38:40,963 --> 00:38:44,433 Come here. 631 00:38:44,466 --> 00:38:45,968 Sit. 632 00:38:46,001 --> 00:38:48,904 Now, I was waiting to give this to you. 633 00:38:48,938 --> 00:38:54,876 Partly out of vindictiveness, I'll admit, but... 634 00:38:54,910 --> 00:38:57,146 - The magic lasso? - Mhm. 635 00:39:03,385 --> 00:39:06,754 You've earned it, Jerry. 636 00:39:10,392 --> 00:39:11,994 Now. 637 00:39:12,027 --> 00:39:14,129 I don't want you to worry about the script. 638 00:39:14,163 --> 00:39:15,297 Okay? 639 00:39:15,331 --> 00:39:19,268 Kringles is a symbol. 640 00:39:19,301 --> 00:39:23,973 What good would it do to ruin that, huh? 641 00:39:24,006 --> 00:39:25,840 It's the night before the show. 642 00:39:25,873 --> 00:39:30,879 I want you to take Layla out for a nice dinner and celebrate. 643 00:39:30,913 --> 00:39:34,816 Make her feel like a real woman, can you do that, Jerry? 644 00:39:34,849 --> 00:39:36,418 Yeah? 645 00:39:36,452 --> 00:39:39,154 Good boy. 646 00:39:39,188 --> 00:39:42,224 Woo, I do not plan on being the executive director 647 00:39:42,258 --> 00:39:46,495 of a public-access station my whole life, Jerry. 648 00:39:46,528 --> 00:39:51,033 Tomorrow, everything changes. 649 00:40:01,010 --> 00:40:02,844 To Kringles. 650 00:40:06,215 --> 00:40:07,483 Yep. 651 00:40:16,091 --> 00:40:18,327 Daphne gave me the lasso today. 652 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:20,229 Didn't Dad leave you that in his will? 653 00:40:20,262 --> 00:40:26,502 No... yeah, he did, she just gave it to me today. 654 00:40:26,535 --> 00:40:28,170 Okay. 655 00:40:28,203 --> 00:40:29,305 Cool. 656 00:40:34,043 --> 00:40:35,277 Are you, like, mad at me about something? 657 00:40:35,311 --> 00:40:37,446 No, I'm just hungry. 658 00:40:42,284 --> 00:40:45,554 Can you slow down, please? 659 00:40:45,587 --> 00:40:48,991 Excuse me? Lady, can you? 660 00:40:49,024 --> 00:40:51,460 Just bring the whole fucking bottle. 661 00:40:51,493 --> 00:40:53,929 Thank you. 662 00:40:57,333 --> 00:40:59,401 - It feels like you're mad at me. - No, I'm not mad at you, Jerry, 663 00:40:59,435 --> 00:41:03,038 I just had a long day going through my dead father's shit. 664 00:41:03,072 --> 00:41:04,340 So what, you want to eat dinner at home every night 665 00:41:04,373 --> 00:41:06,275 for the rest of your life? 666 00:41:10,512 --> 00:41:13,949 I'm going to the bathroom. 667 00:41:13,982 --> 00:41:16,285 - To poop, Jerry! - Okay. 668 00:41:28,564 --> 00:41:31,266 - What's the matter, cowpoke? - Jesus Christ! 669 00:41:31,300 --> 00:41:33,102 No. 670 00:41:33,135 --> 00:41:37,039 There is only Kringles. 671 00:41:44,446 --> 00:41:46,348 Are you? 672 00:41:46,382 --> 00:41:49,651 Uh, man! 673 00:42:47,443 --> 00:42:51,313 Think of the children. 674 00:43:31,086 --> 00:43:32,621 Can we go home? 675 00:43:32,654 --> 00:43:34,656 I'm tired. 676 00:43:39,495 --> 00:43:45,801 Ugh. 677 00:43:47,436 --> 00:43:52,241 You ready? 678 00:43:52,274 --> 00:43:55,210 You need to puke? 679 00:43:55,244 --> 00:43:56,445 Are you not opening your mouth 'cause you're afraid 680 00:43:56,478 --> 00:44:02,518 you're gonna puke? 681 00:44:02,551 --> 00:44:06,121 You'll be fine, big guy, come on! 682 00:44:06,154 --> 00:44:08,056 Right? 683 00:44:08,090 --> 00:44:09,791 I mean, you better be fine. 684 00:44:09,825 --> 00:44:14,096 'Cause this show has got to be fucking spectacular. 685 00:44:14,129 --> 00:44:16,598 You read me, Jerry? 686 00:44:16,632 --> 00:44:18,600 Hey. 687 00:44:18,634 --> 00:44:20,235 All right. 688 00:44:20,269 --> 00:44:23,772 Love yah, see you on the ice. 689 00:44:40,689 --> 00:44:43,392 Fade up twelve. 690 00:44:54,336 --> 00:44:55,737 Oh no, Kringles fell down! 691 00:44:55,771 --> 00:44:58,440 What can we do? 692 00:44:58,473 --> 00:45:01,643 Well, Jaxon, sometimes people fall down 693 00:45:01,677 --> 00:45:03,812 and don't get back up again. 694 00:45:03,845 --> 00:45:07,849 And Kringles... 695 00:45:07,884 --> 00:45:10,285 Oh, what? 696 00:45:10,319 --> 00:45:12,120 I'm alive! 697 00:45:16,525 --> 00:45:18,226 'Atta baby, Jer. 698 00:45:18,260 --> 00:45:20,529 Stand by, camera two. 699 00:45:30,572 --> 00:45:34,376 Kringles is back, baby! 700 00:45:34,409 --> 00:45:36,845 Um, excuse me. 701 00:45:36,879 --> 00:45:39,581 - Jerry? - I got it, I got it. 702 00:45:39,615 --> 00:45:40,917 Thank you all so much. 703 00:45:40,950 --> 00:45:42,451 This has really been a dream come true, 704 00:45:42,484 --> 00:45:44,820 and I just want to thank every single one of you 705 00:45:44,853 --> 00:45:46,321 for making it happen! 706 00:45:46,355 --> 00:45:47,556 To Jerry! 707 00:46:07,910 --> 00:46:10,579 Suck my dick, Luigi. 708 00:46:39,441 --> 00:46:40,475 Heather! 709 00:46:40,509 --> 00:46:41,710 Right? The intern! 710 00:46:41,743 --> 00:46:43,278 Yeah! 711 00:46:43,311 --> 00:46:46,581 Man, you were there for what? Six, seven? 712 00:46:46,615 --> 00:46:49,651 A day. I was there for a day. 713 00:46:49,685 --> 00:46:53,755 Was it a day? 714 00:46:53,789 --> 00:46:55,323 Oh, well, you know what? 715 00:46:55,357 --> 00:46:56,993 We miss you Heather, wish you could have stayed. 716 00:46:57,026 --> 00:46:59,896 Me too. What'll you have, Jerry? 717 00:46:59,929 --> 00:47:01,763 - You know, I'm gonna have a... - Jerry! 718 00:47:01,797 --> 00:47:06,768 Mayor Jorkins, oh, you're so handsome! 719 00:47:06,802 --> 00:47:09,304 Hey Jerry, great news on the Herb statue. 720 00:47:09,337 --> 00:47:10,872 I called that guy, I paid him extra. 721 00:47:10,907 --> 00:47:13,475 I had to do a little creative thing with the finances 722 00:47:13,508 --> 00:47:15,877 so people wouldn't, you know, taxpayer... but anyway! 723 00:47:15,912 --> 00:47:17,412 It's gonna be ready in two weeks! 724 00:47:17,446 --> 00:47:19,548 Two weeks, ah! 725 00:47:19,581 --> 00:47:22,284 I'm spending so much money on this, and I am loving it. 726 00:47:22,317 --> 00:47:23,652 You're really building a statue for that guy? 727 00:47:23,685 --> 00:47:25,787 Damn right, baby, seventy feet tall! 728 00:47:25,821 --> 00:47:26,989 It's gonna be about six feet tall. 729 00:47:27,023 --> 00:47:28,356 It's gonna block out the sun! 730 00:47:28,390 --> 00:47:29,992 It's roughly Herb-sized. 731 00:47:30,026 --> 00:47:33,795 - Can we have some shots? - Two shots! 732 00:47:33,829 --> 00:47:37,532 Heather is the best because she brings me shots. 733 00:47:37,566 --> 00:47:42,004 Here we go! 734 00:47:42,038 --> 00:47:44,372 Love you. 735 00:47:44,406 --> 00:47:46,341 Good job! 736 00:48:28,017 --> 00:48:35,357 You were a grumpy son-of-a-bitch, Herb. 737 00:48:35,390 --> 00:48:37,659 But thank you. 738 00:49:12,761 --> 00:49:14,629 Oh. 739 00:49:20,869 --> 00:49:23,772 Oh! 740 00:49:33,782 --> 00:49:36,451 Oh shit. 741 00:50:09,784 --> 00:50:11,419 Hi there, Jerry. 742 00:50:11,453 --> 00:50:13,022 Hi, Herb. 743 00:50:13,055 --> 00:50:16,725 Now, if you're watching this, I'm dead. 744 00:50:16,758 --> 00:50:18,426 Probably from liver failure, 745 00:50:18,460 --> 00:50:22,198 or a car accident, or a shootout. 746 00:50:22,231 --> 00:50:27,469 You probably also realize that I left you Kringles, 747 00:50:27,502 --> 00:50:30,538 which I think is incredibly kind of me, 748 00:50:30,572 --> 00:50:34,542 so don't fuck it up, Jerry. 749 00:50:34,576 --> 00:50:39,714 Now, I would like you do to a favor for me. 750 00:50:39,748 --> 00:50:45,654 In that safe, there's a shoebox marked Kringle Time. 751 00:50:45,687 --> 00:50:47,822 I want you to take that shoebox 752 00:50:47,856 --> 00:50:49,824 and destroy it. 753 00:50:49,858 --> 00:50:53,595 Do not open it, do not ask questions, 754 00:50:53,628 --> 00:50:55,597 just destroy it. 755 00:50:55,630 --> 00:50:57,532 I want you to burn it. 756 00:50:57,565 --> 00:51:00,903 Burn it till there is nothing left. 757 00:51:00,937 --> 00:51:04,941 That's all I need you to do for me. 758 00:51:04,974 --> 00:51:07,609 Try not to fuck up, Jerry. 759 00:51:07,642 --> 00:51:08,945 Love ya. 760 00:51:10,745 --> 00:51:11,948 Oh! 761 00:51:11,981 --> 00:51:14,183 Jesus. Oh! 762 00:51:44,947 --> 00:51:49,885 ♪ Who are you coming in so close ♪ 763 00:51:49,919 --> 00:51:53,822 ♪ So close, you might scare me away ♪ 764 00:51:53,855 --> 00:51:57,759 This monument will stand to a true icon of Goshen. 765 00:51:57,792 --> 00:52:00,129 Herb was one of our greatest treasures. 766 00:52:00,162 --> 00:52:03,065 This monument will immortalize his deeds forever. 767 00:52:06,936 --> 00:52:11,573 ♪ 'Cause, oh, maybe I'm damned ♪ 768 00:52:11,606 --> 00:52:16,912 ♪ To be sad with monsters and men ♪ 769 00:52:16,946 --> 00:52:19,814 ♪ 'Cause the places I've been ♪ 770 00:52:19,848 --> 00:52:23,651 ♪ My dreams were awful bad ♪ 771 00:52:23,685 --> 00:52:25,653 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 772 00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:40,269 Maybe it's nothing. 773 00:52:43,205 --> 00:52:44,206 Yeah. 774 00:52:50,079 --> 00:52:51,247 It's not nothing, what am I saying? 775 00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:52,614 - Oh, Jesus. - All right, Jerry, 776 00:52:52,647 --> 00:52:54,917 calm the fuck down. 777 00:52:54,950 --> 00:52:56,651 Does anyone else know about this? 778 00:52:58,988 --> 00:53:05,027 Okay, so we have a choice. 779 00:53:05,061 --> 00:53:09,231 Now, once we open that box, we may not have a choice. 780 00:53:09,265 --> 00:53:11,167 This is one of those 781 00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:14,003 Pandora's Cat kind of situations, Jerry. 782 00:53:15,770 --> 00:53:16,871 I mean, I understand what you're saying. 783 00:53:16,906 --> 00:53:17,872 I don't think that's the correct phrase, but... 784 00:53:17,907 --> 00:53:19,909 Okay, okay, okay, think about it like this. 785 00:53:19,942 --> 00:53:21,676 Herb's dead! 786 00:53:21,709 --> 00:53:24,779 If anything was going on, it's over! 787 00:53:24,813 --> 00:53:28,250 Whatever is in that box, 788 00:53:28,284 --> 00:53:31,020 what good would it do to see the light of day? 789 00:53:31,053 --> 00:53:32,922 I don't know, I just... 790 00:53:33,889 --> 00:53:35,091 Listen to me. 791 00:53:35,124 --> 00:53:37,692 We brought Kringles back from the dead! 792 00:53:37,725 --> 00:53:40,262 Do you want to kill him again? 793 00:53:40,296 --> 00:53:42,098 You open that box, and I promise you, 794 00:53:42,131 --> 00:53:43,999 you will bring the show down. 795 00:53:44,033 --> 00:53:47,635 And if the show goes down, I go down. 796 00:53:47,669 --> 00:53:48,803 Do you want that? 797 00:53:51,673 --> 00:53:53,708 Okay, okay. 798 00:53:53,741 --> 00:53:56,112 Think about it like this, all right? 799 00:53:56,145 --> 00:53:57,046 No! 800 00:54:01,250 --> 00:54:02,918 Mark! Get me fire! 801 00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:06,788 - Daphne, come on! - No! 802 00:54:06,821 --> 00:54:08,057 Just let it go! 803 00:54:11,327 --> 00:54:12,827 Gimme the goddamn box. 804 00:54:18,234 --> 00:54:20,002 Just let it happen, Jerry! 805 00:54:24,806 --> 00:54:27,243 No! No! 806 00:54:29,345 --> 00:54:30,346 I'm gonna throw up. 807 00:54:30,379 --> 00:54:31,347 Oh, God, no! 808 00:54:31,380 --> 00:54:33,681 No! God! 809 00:54:33,715 --> 00:54:34,682 Fine! 810 00:54:34,716 --> 00:54:37,319 Fine, take the box! 811 00:54:37,353 --> 00:54:39,388 Oh, God, thank you. 812 00:54:39,421 --> 00:54:41,123 No! 813 00:54:41,157 --> 00:54:42,258 Ow! 814 00:54:42,291 --> 00:54:43,758 No! 815 00:54:46,061 --> 00:54:47,963 God! 816 00:54:47,997 --> 00:54:49,265 Fuck! 817 00:54:54,470 --> 00:54:56,038 She's so strong. 818 00:54:56,071 --> 00:54:58,073 Why is she so strong? She's a freak. 819 00:55:14,990 --> 00:55:16,724 - Jerry. - No! 820 00:55:16,758 --> 00:55:18,127 Damn it! Jerry! 821 00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:19,827 Just hear me out! Hear me out. 822 00:55:31,207 --> 00:55:32,208 Look. 823 00:55:34,143 --> 00:55:36,912 I've been talking to the board about giving you 824 00:55:36,946 --> 00:55:38,480 creative control of Kringle Time. 825 00:55:42,551 --> 00:55:45,921 They think you've done a hell of a job, Jerry. 826 00:55:45,955 --> 00:55:50,192 I mean, I think you've done a hell of a job. 827 00:55:50,226 --> 00:55:51,961 And the audience, 828 00:55:51,994 --> 00:55:54,430 they love you! 829 00:55:54,463 --> 00:55:56,899 We could ride this wave, Jerry. 830 00:55:56,932 --> 00:55:58,467 I mean, Herb, he was content to be a big fish 831 00:55:58,500 --> 00:56:00,002 in a small toilet, but you and I? 832 00:56:01,170 --> 00:56:03,405 We think big. 833 00:56:03,439 --> 00:56:05,374 We don't have to be stuck at Public Access 834 00:56:05,407 --> 00:56:07,476 the rest of our lives. 835 00:56:07,509 --> 00:56:13,048 Kringles could be on local affiliate stations, Jerry. 836 00:56:13,082 --> 00:56:14,450 How does that sound? 837 00:56:21,023 --> 00:56:26,228 If you want it, the show is yours. 838 00:56:26,262 --> 00:56:28,097 Thank you all for coming. 839 00:56:28,130 --> 00:56:30,532 You know, when Herb first gave me this task, 840 00:56:30,566 --> 00:56:33,535 to build this monument in his honor, 841 00:56:33,569 --> 00:56:35,537 I felt unworthy. 842 00:56:35,571 --> 00:56:37,940 How could I, a humble mayor, 843 00:56:37,973 --> 00:56:40,509 two-time all-state varsity swimming champion, 844 00:56:40,542 --> 00:56:42,144 and veteran, 845 00:56:42,177 --> 00:56:45,180 do justice to this great man? 846 00:56:45,214 --> 00:56:49,018 But with all your support, we made this happen. 847 00:56:49,051 --> 00:56:50,219 Thank you. 848 00:56:55,624 --> 00:56:56,824 I want to thank Fabio. 849 00:56:56,858 --> 00:56:58,060 Where's Fabio? 850 00:56:58,093 --> 00:56:59,528 Thank you for all your late nights 851 00:56:59,561 --> 00:57:01,497 on this project. 852 00:57:01,530 --> 00:57:03,966 Love the ascot. 853 00:57:03,999 --> 00:57:06,834 And thank you all for entrusting me 854 00:57:06,868 --> 00:57:09,305 with this sacred task. 855 00:57:09,338 --> 00:57:12,241 And I want to say, 856 00:57:12,274 --> 00:57:14,310 without exaggeration, 857 00:57:14,343 --> 00:57:17,112 that when I stand here tomorrow morning 858 00:57:17,146 --> 00:57:18,914 and watch the sun crest over the shoulders 859 00:57:18,947 --> 00:57:21,016 of this great man, 860 00:57:21,050 --> 00:57:25,954 it'll be the greatest moment of my life. 861 00:57:25,988 --> 00:57:27,890 - You know, when I... - I'll be right back. 862 00:57:27,923 --> 00:57:29,258 ...was a young boy, I visited the... 863 00:57:29,291 --> 00:57:30,893 Heather! 864 00:57:30,926 --> 00:57:32,227 Sorry, um... 865 00:57:33,896 --> 00:57:35,331 - Why did you leave? - I have to get to work. 866 00:57:35,364 --> 00:57:38,567 No, um, why did you leave the show? 867 00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:40,469 Don't act like you don't know. 868 00:57:40,502 --> 00:57:41,904 I... I don't. 869 00:57:41,937 --> 00:57:44,406 You were the one who sent me to Kringle Time. 870 00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:47,009 What... what do you mean? 871 00:57:47,042 --> 00:57:49,278 You were an intern for the show. 872 00:57:49,311 --> 00:57:51,580 - Thank you, Mr. Mayor. - Thank you, thank you, thanks. 873 00:57:51,613 --> 00:57:53,515 I'd also like to take this opportunity 874 00:57:53,549 --> 00:57:55,384 to announce the new creative director 875 00:57:55,417 --> 00:57:56,385 of Kringle Time... 876 00:57:56,418 --> 00:57:57,953 Mr. Jericho Perkins! 877 00:58:01,290 --> 00:58:03,592 Here's to many more, Jerry! 878 00:58:03,625 --> 00:58:06,228 - Thank you so much. - Thank you, Mr. Mayor. 879 00:58:06,261 --> 00:58:07,596 - Truly. - Thank you, thank you. 880 01:00:01,243 --> 01:00:02,644 You wanna get drunk? 881 01:00:02,678 --> 01:00:05,047 - I hated her! - No, you didn't! 882 01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:06,181 You had the biggest crush on her. 883 01:00:06,215 --> 01:00:08,283 No, I didn't, she was dating... 884 01:00:08,317 --> 01:00:10,185 she was dating that dude Ross. 885 01:00:10,219 --> 01:00:11,153 She was dating that dude Ross, 886 01:00:11,186 --> 01:00:13,322 I swear to God that dude couldn't count. 887 01:00:13,355 --> 01:00:14,389 He couldn't count numbers. 888 01:00:14,423 --> 01:00:16,358 Oh, Ross, yeah. 889 01:00:16,391 --> 01:00:18,393 He was a dick, though, I would have dated her. 890 01:00:19,761 --> 01:00:22,264 No, it was... it was Mrs. Clarkson, 891 01:00:22,297 --> 01:00:23,565 she was math? 892 01:00:23,599 --> 01:00:25,167 - Was she math? - No. 893 01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:26,468 - Yes, she was math! - I don't think so. 894 01:00:26,502 --> 01:00:29,705 Yes, because Dad had the hots for her! 895 01:00:29,738 --> 01:00:31,039 - Did not know that. - Yes, 896 01:00:31,073 --> 01:00:33,542 Dad wanted to do dick stuff to her. 897 01:00:35,310 --> 01:00:36,678 Fucking Dad. 898 01:00:38,180 --> 01:00:40,215 You've got the cutest face. 899 01:00:41,416 --> 01:00:43,218 Where did you get that face? 900 01:00:43,252 --> 01:00:44,720 - I don't know. - You're so cute. 901 01:00:44,753 --> 01:00:46,822 Jerry! 902 01:00:46,855 --> 01:00:48,590 What are you doing? 903 01:00:48,624 --> 01:00:50,592 Stop it. 904 01:00:54,096 --> 01:00:55,430 Jerry? 905 01:00:58,333 --> 01:01:02,804 I feel like you want me to be something different... 906 01:01:02,838 --> 01:01:04,773 than who I am. 907 01:01:09,444 --> 01:01:11,580 So handsome. 908 01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:21,623 I am not gonna remember this tomorrow. 909 01:01:23,825 --> 01:01:25,827 I wonder if it even happened. 910 01:02:44,306 --> 01:02:45,641 Where are you? 911 01:02:47,542 --> 01:02:48,877 Where are you! 912 01:02:50,679 --> 01:02:52,814 Where are you? 913 01:02:52,848 --> 01:02:54,884 I wanna talk to you! 914 01:02:55,751 --> 01:03:00,322 Hello, Jerry. 915 01:03:05,694 --> 01:03:07,429 Show me Herb. 916 01:03:08,998 --> 01:03:12,634 You're the all-powerful fuckin' demon thingy. 917 01:03:14,536 --> 01:03:17,506 Show me Herb's face. 918 01:03:17,539 --> 01:03:20,308 I wanna look him in the fucking eyes. 919 01:03:22,778 --> 01:03:24,713 Show me, goddammit! 920 01:03:36,258 --> 01:03:38,393 Hiya, Jer. 921 01:03:43,365 --> 01:03:45,333 What the fuck is wrong with you, man? 922 01:03:45,367 --> 01:03:46,936 Hey, hey, settle down! 923 01:03:46,969 --> 01:03:48,670 I didn't kill anybody. 924 01:03:48,704 --> 01:03:50,439 Well, that's a low fuckin' bar, Herb. 925 01:03:50,472 --> 01:03:51,673 Come on, man. 926 01:03:51,707 --> 01:03:53,475 I've done nothing illegal. 927 01:03:53,508 --> 01:03:54,843 You took advantage of those kids! 928 01:03:54,876 --> 01:03:56,611 They weren't kids! 929 01:03:56,645 --> 01:04:00,816 They're teenagers, we're talking about goddamn teenagers. 930 01:04:00,849 --> 01:04:04,252 And I asked every one of them 931 01:04:04,286 --> 01:04:07,589 if they would do it, and none of them said no. 932 01:04:07,622 --> 01:04:09,992 You were fucking Kringles, man, they're not gonna say no to you! 933 01:04:10,026 --> 01:04:11,626 Yeah, well, they were fine with it. 934 01:04:11,660 --> 01:04:13,662 They don't look fucking fine, Herb! 935 01:04:13,695 --> 01:04:14,730 You know what? 936 01:04:14,763 --> 01:04:16,465 I'm fucking sick of this! 937 01:04:16,498 --> 01:04:19,835 You drag me back from beyond the grave, 938 01:04:19,868 --> 01:04:22,671 and after everything... 939 01:04:22,704 --> 01:04:27,043 everything that I've done for you. 940 01:04:29,979 --> 01:04:32,614 After everything you've done for me? 941 01:04:32,647 --> 01:04:34,616 You never gave a shit about me. 942 01:04:34,649 --> 01:04:35,985 Even when you gave me my dream job, 943 01:04:36,018 --> 01:04:37,519 you fucking poisoned it. 944 01:04:37,552 --> 01:04:38,620 The only reason I'm here 945 01:04:38,653 --> 01:04:40,789 is 'cause you knew I'd do your dirty work for you. 946 01:04:40,822 --> 01:04:42,424 What have you given me, huh? 947 01:04:42,457 --> 01:04:44,359 Besides dangle a fucking carrot in front of me for 20 years? 948 01:04:44,392 --> 01:04:47,596 Oh, wah, wah, poor little boy! 949 01:04:47,629 --> 01:04:50,632 Make a life for yourself, Jerry. 950 01:04:50,665 --> 01:04:53,568 You could have left at any time, but you didn't. 951 01:04:53,602 --> 01:04:55,637 Why? 952 01:04:55,670 --> 01:04:57,839 Because your dreams weren't big enough, 953 01:04:57,873 --> 01:04:59,708 and you knew it. 954 01:04:59,741 --> 01:05:00,809 This is all beside the point. 955 01:05:00,842 --> 01:05:02,778 You had a responsibility to those kids, 956 01:05:02,811 --> 01:05:04,080 and you fucking betrayed us. 957 01:05:04,113 --> 01:05:05,781 Yeah, well don't pretend you didn't know 958 01:05:05,814 --> 01:05:07,783 - what was happening. - I didn't know! 959 01:05:07,816 --> 01:05:10,052 All that line of interns that quit 960 01:05:10,086 --> 01:05:13,755 after going into Kringle Time with me? 961 01:05:17,894 --> 01:05:19,061 You knew what was going on. 962 01:05:19,095 --> 01:05:21,630 You just chose to ignore it. 963 01:05:21,663 --> 01:05:24,699 That makes you as guilty as me. 964 01:05:24,733 --> 01:05:27,369 I 100% never lassoed an intern, Herb. 965 01:05:27,402 --> 01:05:30,006 "I never lassoed an intern." 966 01:05:30,039 --> 01:05:32,307 You wanna do something about it? 967 01:05:33,408 --> 01:05:35,844 I'm ashes. 968 01:05:35,877 --> 01:05:37,412 I don't care. 969 01:05:37,445 --> 01:05:38,948 Huh? 970 01:05:51,526 --> 01:05:54,897 Oh, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. 971 01:06:57,492 --> 01:06:59,861 You didn't answer me. 972 01:06:59,896 --> 01:07:02,631 What are you going to do? 973 01:07:05,167 --> 01:07:08,436 I'm gonna tear this whole fucking place down. 974 01:07:14,576 --> 01:07:18,613 ♪ Blue skies, nothing but blue skies ♪ 975 01:07:18,647 --> 01:07:22,651 ♪ Each day is a lovely piece of pie ♪ 976 01:07:22,684 --> 01:07:26,055 ♪ And blue skies are always on my mind ♪ 977 01:07:29,225 --> 01:07:33,762 ♪ Life's a dream with sugar cream ♪ 978 01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:39,168 What the... 979 01:07:51,247 --> 01:07:52,214 ♪ Yes ♪ 980 01:07:55,184 --> 01:07:58,254 ♪ Blue skies are always on my mind ♪ 981 01:07:59,956 --> 01:08:01,157 Pat yourself up, pat yourself down, 982 01:08:01,190 --> 01:08:03,558 pat your neighbor, come on now, come on. 983 01:08:05,860 --> 01:08:07,529 Drop that jaw. 984 01:08:11,700 --> 01:08:12,734 Hey, Jerry! 985 01:08:12,767 --> 01:08:14,003 Pow-pow! 986 01:08:28,616 --> 01:08:30,518 Oh, oh, oh! 987 01:08:45,935 --> 01:08:47,736 ♪ His name is Kringles ♪ 988 01:08:47,769 --> 01:08:49,905 ♪ And when he swings his magic lasso ♪ 989 01:08:49,939 --> 01:08:52,174 Swings his magic lasso, 990 01:08:52,208 --> 01:08:53,943 you get tingles. 991 01:08:53,976 --> 01:08:57,313 Jerry, why aren't you in costume, dude? 992 01:08:57,346 --> 01:08:58,780 It's in the dressing room. 993 01:08:58,813 --> 01:09:00,749 All right. 994 01:09:00,782 --> 01:09:02,817 I wanted to ask you, um, 995 01:09:02,851 --> 01:09:05,553 right here actually, there it is. 996 01:09:05,587 --> 01:09:08,157 What's this "Kringle Surprise" thing? 997 01:09:08,190 --> 01:09:09,892 Don't worry about that. 998 01:09:09,925 --> 01:09:11,227 What is it? 999 01:09:11,260 --> 01:09:12,660 Don't worry about it. 1000 01:09:12,694 --> 01:09:14,030 Like, I'm not worrying about it, 1001 01:09:14,063 --> 01:09:15,231 I just want to know what it is. 1002 01:09:15,264 --> 01:09:16,232 It's a surprise. 1003 01:09:16,265 --> 01:09:18,134 Don't worry about it. 1004 01:09:18,167 --> 01:09:21,103 See, now I'm... now I'm starting to worry about it. 1005 01:09:21,137 --> 01:09:23,305 It's just a surprise. 1006 01:09:23,339 --> 01:09:24,873 Don't worry about it. 1007 01:09:26,808 --> 01:09:28,010 Okay. 1008 01:10:13,089 --> 01:10:16,092 You sure you want to do this, Jerry? 1009 01:10:16,125 --> 01:10:17,792 Yes, Dad. 1010 01:10:17,826 --> 01:10:19,361 I'm sure. 1011 01:10:19,395 --> 01:10:21,931 What about the kids? 1012 01:10:23,698 --> 01:10:25,968 I'm doing this for the kids. 1013 01:10:26,001 --> 01:10:30,039 Uh, are you, Jerry? 1014 01:10:30,072 --> 01:10:33,409 Because if you open up that box on air, 1015 01:10:33,442 --> 01:10:36,245 you are gonna traumatize the shit out of them. 1016 01:10:37,980 --> 01:10:42,318 Yeah, well, they gotta grow up sometime, right? 1017 01:10:42,351 --> 01:10:43,785 I did. 1018 01:10:43,818 --> 01:10:45,354 You made sure of that pretty goddamn early, 1019 01:10:45,387 --> 01:10:46,155 both of you. 1020 01:10:46,188 --> 01:10:48,090 I was just protecting you, buddy. 1021 01:10:48,124 --> 01:10:49,992 I didn't need protecting. 1022 01:10:52,394 --> 01:10:54,163 I'm taking the blinders off. 1023 01:12:12,274 --> 01:12:14,376 Scrip-a-doo-banana-jamma! 1024 01:12:14,410 --> 01:12:16,744 Scrip-a-doo-banana-jamma! 1025 01:12:32,328 --> 01:12:34,063 No, no. 1026 01:12:35,998 --> 01:12:37,066 No! 1027 01:12:37,099 --> 01:12:38,167 No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 1028 01:12:38,200 --> 01:12:39,168 Goddammit! 1029 01:12:42,004 --> 01:12:43,472 I'm an opportunist, Jer. 1030 01:12:43,505 --> 01:12:45,873 What'd you expect? 1031 01:12:58,354 --> 01:13:01,490 Look, don't feel too bad. 1032 01:13:01,523 --> 01:13:04,059 If I had a nickel for every time someone found me passed out 1033 01:13:04,093 --> 01:13:06,428 in front of incriminating evidence... 1034 01:13:10,832 --> 01:13:13,569 Look, Jerry, you can't make change from the bottom. 1035 01:13:13,602 --> 01:13:15,870 Power doesn't trickle up. 1036 01:13:15,904 --> 01:13:17,506 You want real change, you know what has to happen? 1037 01:13:17,539 --> 01:13:19,441 The person at the top has to give up control, 1038 01:13:19,475 --> 01:13:21,343 and people don't do that. 1039 01:13:22,945 --> 01:13:26,315 Think of it as a new beginning. 1040 01:13:47,936 --> 01:13:51,373 Yeah, so I missed the deposit for the one in Brooklyn, 1041 01:13:51,407 --> 01:13:55,044 but I did find this one in Queens 1042 01:13:55,077 --> 01:13:57,845 that I could move into by early October-ish, 1043 01:13:57,880 --> 01:14:01,250 but I don't know, like, is that too early? 1044 01:14:01,283 --> 01:14:03,319 Like early October-ish? 1045 01:14:03,352 --> 01:14:04,453 What the fuck? 1046 01:14:04,486 --> 01:14:06,088 Gunther! 1047 01:14:06,121 --> 01:14:08,557 Why hasn't my fucking trash been taken out? 1048 01:14:08,590 --> 01:14:10,392 - Fünf minuten... - No! No! 1049 01:14:10,426 --> 01:14:13,228 Not fünf minuten. Right now! 1050 01:14:13,262 --> 01:14:15,998 All you have to do is keep this place clean! 1051 01:14:16,031 --> 01:14:18,233 You have one fucking job. 1052 01:14:18,267 --> 01:14:19,902 I want this trash cleaned up. 1053 01:14:19,935 --> 01:14:23,572 Not tomorrow, not next week, not "fünf minutens," 1054 01:14:23,605 --> 01:14:25,074 right now! 1055 01:14:25,107 --> 01:14:27,409 Or you're fucking fired! 1056 01:14:27,443 --> 01:14:29,011 Hey, Jer-Bear! 1057 01:14:29,044 --> 01:14:30,045 Calm down, huh? 1058 01:14:30,079 --> 01:14:32,514 My name is Jerry, goddammit. 1059 01:14:32,548 --> 01:14:34,516 And the next person to call me "Jer-Bear" 1060 01:14:34,550 --> 01:14:36,285 is fucking fired, too! 1061 01:14:36,318 --> 01:14:37,920 Yeah, you're just gonna fire everybody, huh, 1062 01:14:37,953 --> 01:14:40,122 big Mister fuckin' Boss Man or whatever? 1063 01:14:40,155 --> 01:14:43,525 Shut the fuck up, Naveed! 1064 01:14:43,559 --> 01:14:48,364 Oh, and by the way, you're never moving to Brooklyn. 1065 01:14:48,397 --> 01:14:49,932 What? 1066 01:14:49,965 --> 01:14:51,367 How long you been talking about that, huh? 1067 01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:52,401 Four years? 1068 01:14:52,434 --> 01:14:53,502 Five years? 1069 01:14:53,535 --> 01:14:56,071 Yeah, it just hasn't been the right time yet. 1070 01:14:57,406 --> 01:14:58,440 It's not the right time? 1071 01:14:58,474 --> 01:15:00,008 Yeah, it's never the right time. 1072 01:15:00,042 --> 01:15:01,143 That's not the question. 1073 01:15:01,176 --> 01:15:04,179 The question is are you the kind of person who goes, 1074 01:15:04,213 --> 01:15:05,948 or the kind of person who stays? 1075 01:15:05,981 --> 01:15:06,849 Hm. 1076 01:15:06,882 --> 01:15:09,017 You're the kind of person who stays. 1077 01:15:09,051 --> 01:15:10,185 Okay? 1078 01:15:10,219 --> 01:15:12,388 And take my advice, realize that now. 1079 01:15:12,421 --> 01:15:14,957 It'll be less of a fall. 1080 01:15:14,990 --> 01:15:18,160 Shitty, Jerry. Very shitty. 1081 01:15:18,193 --> 01:15:19,928 This is why we never wanted to hang out with you. 1082 01:15:19,962 --> 01:15:21,597 I don't give a shit! 1083 01:15:21,630 --> 01:15:24,266 'Cause you're all a big basket of assholes! 1084 01:15:24,299 --> 01:15:25,434 And it's about time you showed me 1085 01:15:25,467 --> 01:15:27,369 some fucking respect! 1086 01:15:51,593 --> 01:15:55,964 1992, that season, now everybody likes that season. 1087 01:15:55,998 --> 01:15:59,435 Tell you the truth, Ernie, total blur. 1088 01:15:59,468 --> 01:16:02,070 I don't remember much about it at all. 1089 01:16:02,104 --> 01:16:05,474 You know, I knew Jamie Farr back then. 1090 01:16:05,507 --> 01:16:07,743 - Introduced him to cocaine. - Wow. 1091 01:16:07,776 --> 01:16:10,212 He introduced Robert Downey, Jr. to coke 1092 01:16:10,245 --> 01:16:11,680 and then we had a foursome! 1093 01:16:11,713 --> 01:16:13,382 So! 1094 01:16:13,415 --> 01:16:14,550 When are we going on air? 1095 01:16:14,583 --> 01:16:16,552 We're live now. 1096 01:16:16,585 --> 01:16:18,020 Shit. 1097 01:16:27,162 --> 01:16:30,165 So this season, there's a Kringles show. 1098 01:16:30,199 --> 01:16:34,470 Oh, yeah, we've got a singing, dancing snowman, yeah. 1099 01:16:34,503 --> 01:16:36,004 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, for sure. 1100 01:16:36,038 --> 01:16:37,606 Yeah. Anything else? 1101 01:16:37,639 --> 01:16:39,007 Anything else we can expect to... 1102 01:16:39,041 --> 01:16:40,075 No, no. 1103 01:16:40,108 --> 01:16:41,577 Oh, great, no, far out, far out. 1104 01:16:41,610 --> 01:16:43,412 You know, I love... 1105 01:16:49,451 --> 01:16:50,352 Whee! 1106 01:16:54,756 --> 01:16:57,593 Welcome back to Good Morning, Goshen! 1107 01:16:57,626 --> 01:16:59,361 We're here with Herbert Kelley. 1108 01:16:59,394 --> 01:17:00,429 Hi, Herb, how's it going? 1109 01:17:00,462 --> 01:17:01,763 - Very good. - Oh, good, good, 1110 01:17:01,797 --> 01:17:03,398 that's good to hear, yeah, yeah. 1111 01:17:03,432 --> 01:17:05,300 So you were talking a little bit about Kringle Time. 1112 01:17:05,334 --> 01:17:07,369 - Tell us a little bit more. - It's a different kind of show 1113 01:17:07,402 --> 01:17:09,238 from what people are prepared for. 1114 01:17:09,271 --> 01:17:10,339 Different kind of show. 1115 01:17:10,372 --> 01:17:12,040 How's that? 1116 01:17:12,074 --> 01:17:14,309 I think kids are smart. 1117 01:17:14,343 --> 01:17:15,744 And I believe that the worst thing that we can do 1118 01:17:15,777 --> 01:17:18,580 as adults is to pretend that life's not hard. 1119 01:17:18,614 --> 01:17:20,749 I mean, the world's a hard place, 1120 01:17:20,782 --> 01:17:24,186 and it's a confusing place, but... 1121 01:17:24,219 --> 01:17:27,389 there's a beauty in that confusion. 1122 01:17:27,422 --> 01:17:30,092 If there's a guiding principle behind Kringle Time... 1123 01:17:32,194 --> 01:17:34,229 ...it's about being honest about who you are 1124 01:17:34,263 --> 01:17:35,564 and what you want to do. 1125 01:17:35,597 --> 01:17:37,132 Because if Kringles exists 1126 01:17:37,165 --> 01:17:40,168 at the expense of being genuine, then, 1127 01:17:40,202 --> 01:17:41,236 well, maybe there comes a time 1128 01:17:41,270 --> 01:17:45,140 when the world doesn't need Kringles anymore. 1129 01:17:59,321 --> 01:18:00,656 Gunther! 1130 01:18:00,689 --> 01:18:02,691 Jesus. 1131 01:18:02,724 --> 01:18:05,460 Gunther, where's my trash? 1132 01:18:05,494 --> 01:18:08,130 I took it out, like you asked. 1133 01:18:08,163 --> 01:18:09,431 - Am I fired? - No! 1134 01:18:09,464 --> 01:18:11,867 No, I'm sorry, Gunther, man, I was a dick. 1135 01:18:11,901 --> 01:18:16,104 Look, is there any way I can still get a hold of that trash? 1136 01:18:28,684 --> 01:18:30,319 Ah! 1137 01:18:36,458 --> 01:18:38,360 Ew, gross, Jerry! 1138 01:18:38,393 --> 01:18:40,395 All right, listen up, fuckers. 1139 01:18:40,429 --> 01:18:42,497 I'm the creative director of Kringle Time. 1140 01:18:42,531 --> 01:18:44,800 And guess what? 1141 01:18:44,833 --> 01:18:47,169 We got some changes we're gonna make. 1142 01:19:23,372 --> 01:19:25,641 Kringles. 1143 01:19:25,674 --> 01:19:28,443 I brought you this mouse, 1144 01:19:28,477 --> 01:19:31,546 but it died in my hands. 1145 01:19:34,850 --> 01:19:36,251 This mouse... 1146 01:19:38,220 --> 01:19:40,689 ...is my father. 1147 01:19:45,661 --> 01:19:46,896 Kringles! 1148 01:19:47,763 --> 01:19:49,966 Jessica. 1149 01:19:49,999 --> 01:19:51,733 I'm pregnant! 1150 01:19:54,269 --> 01:19:55,570 What? 1151 01:19:55,604 --> 01:19:57,239 I'm pregnant! 1152 01:19:58,807 --> 01:19:59,875 What? 1153 01:19:59,909 --> 01:20:02,344 I'm pregnant! 1154 01:20:02,377 --> 01:20:03,712 Oh. 1155 01:20:03,745 --> 01:20:05,714 What? 1156 01:20:08,017 --> 01:20:09,618 Oh, no! 1157 01:20:09,651 --> 01:20:11,420 Ken Starr! 1158 01:20:11,453 --> 01:20:13,755 I'm gonna get ya! 1159 01:20:17,292 --> 01:20:18,627 Come on, kids! 1160 01:20:18,660 --> 01:20:22,932 Let's play a game of hide and no-seek! 1161 01:20:36,445 --> 01:20:37,746 Mr. Mayor, I'm sorry, 1162 01:20:37,779 --> 01:20:39,247 I've got other things to deal with. 1163 01:20:39,281 --> 01:20:40,282 Okey-dokey, I gotcha, 1164 01:20:40,315 --> 01:20:42,651 but if we could just circle back about the statue... 1165 01:20:42,684 --> 01:20:43,819 Anita? 1166 01:20:43,852 --> 01:20:44,786 Yeah? 1167 01:20:44,820 --> 01:20:46,688 Can you show the mayor the traffic cameras 1168 01:20:46,722 --> 01:20:48,490 at 1st and Samson? 1169 01:20:48,523 --> 01:20:50,927 Yeah. 1170 01:20:50,960 --> 01:20:52,828 Thank you. 1171 01:20:55,597 --> 01:20:57,934 I really appreciate this, Anita. 1172 01:20:57,967 --> 01:21:00,036 It's been a tough few days. 1173 01:21:00,069 --> 01:21:02,304 Yeah. 1174 01:21:04,907 --> 01:21:06,508 Oh, there! 1175 01:21:06,541 --> 01:21:07,709 Can you zoom in? 1176 01:21:07,743 --> 01:21:08,844 Yeah. 1177 01:21:12,380 --> 01:21:13,682 Is that Jerry? 1178 01:21:13,715 --> 01:21:16,518 Yeah. 1179 01:21:16,551 --> 01:21:17,853 What is he doing? 1180 01:21:30,967 --> 01:21:31,867 Where'd he go? 1181 01:21:37,106 --> 01:21:38,373 Jerry. 1182 01:21:39,909 --> 01:21:41,343 Yeah. 1183 01:21:43,378 --> 01:21:48,717 ♪ In love ♪ 1184 01:21:51,720 --> 01:21:54,456 ♪ You are but a girl ♪ 1185 01:21:54,489 --> 01:21:58,393 ♪ I thought that I knew right from wrong ♪ 1186 01:21:58,426 --> 01:22:00,762 ♪ Melt inside me now ♪ 1187 01:22:00,796 --> 01:22:04,866 ♪ And see that this will always be ♪ 1188 01:22:04,901 --> 01:22:11,706 - ♪ I think this baby's dead ♪ - ♪ Our love ♪ 1189 01:22:16,378 --> 01:22:18,580 Kringle Time will return 1190 01:22:18,613 --> 01:22:21,918 after a word from our sponsors. 1191 01:22:21,951 --> 01:22:23,652 And we're out. 1192 01:22:23,685 --> 01:22:24,921 Yeah. 1193 01:22:26,655 --> 01:22:28,124 That was incredible! 1194 01:22:28,157 --> 01:22:29,025 Really great stuff. 1195 01:22:29,058 --> 01:22:32,627 What in the ever-living fuck was that? 1196 01:22:32,661 --> 01:22:34,030 You gave me creative control. 1197 01:22:34,063 --> 01:22:36,765 And I told you to color inside the fucking lines, 1198 01:22:36,798 --> 01:22:38,533 Jerry, I told you! 1199 01:22:38,567 --> 01:22:39,401 If you keep going like this, 1200 01:22:39,434 --> 01:22:40,669 you are going to kill Kringle Time... 1201 01:22:40,702 --> 01:22:42,604 is that what you want? 1202 01:22:45,174 --> 01:22:46,943 Oh, Jesus Lord, of course. 1203 01:22:46,976 --> 01:22:48,643 Why didn't I realize it before? 1204 01:22:48,677 --> 01:22:50,545 You're just enough of a fucking psychopath 1205 01:22:50,579 --> 01:22:52,949 - to tank your own show! - Wait, what? 1206 01:22:52,982 --> 01:22:54,951 - You didn't approve this? - Who's Ken Starr? 1207 01:22:54,984 --> 01:22:57,019 Fuck no, you idiots! 1208 01:22:57,053 --> 01:23:00,522 - Liar, Jerry, very liar! - What the hell, Jerry? 1209 01:23:00,555 --> 01:23:02,058 - The show must go on. - Wow. 1210 01:23:02,091 --> 01:23:03,425 You are right about that. 1211 01:23:03,458 --> 01:23:04,492 Get him out of this suit. 1212 01:23:04,526 --> 01:23:06,162 Mark, you are up. 1213 01:23:06,195 --> 01:23:07,997 Sorry about this, Jerry... 1214 01:23:08,030 --> 01:23:09,932 - No! - Give me the glove! 1215 01:23:09,966 --> 01:23:11,901 - You guys like wrestling? - Mark! 1216 01:23:13,869 --> 01:23:15,104 - Get up! - Get up, Jerry. 1217 01:23:18,074 --> 01:23:19,708 A, B, C, D... 1218 01:23:21,576 --> 01:23:23,879 You can't do this. 1219 01:23:23,913 --> 01:23:26,916 I can do anything I want, Jerry. 1220 01:23:26,949 --> 01:23:30,518 I'm the executive director of Goshen Public Access. 1221 01:23:32,754 --> 01:23:34,924 Sorry, Jer. Love you, buddy. 1222 01:23:41,030 --> 01:23:42,464 No! 1223 01:23:46,501 --> 01:23:48,637 Can we have more time? I don't have a mic! 1224 01:23:48,670 --> 01:23:49,906 How are we gonna... 1225 01:23:49,939 --> 01:23:51,073 - Four... - Just make it look happy! 1226 01:23:51,107 --> 01:23:52,641 ...three... 1227 01:23:55,610 --> 01:23:57,812 Hey, kids! 1228 01:23:57,846 --> 01:23:59,781 Come on now, Jerry, come on. 1229 01:24:02,985 --> 01:24:04,921 It's done, Jerry. 1230 01:24:04,954 --> 01:24:07,089 Your Kringle Time has come to an end. 1231 01:24:08,857 --> 01:24:13,062 You will be nothing but a blip in history. 1232 01:24:13,095 --> 01:24:15,998 Like George Lazenby. 1233 01:24:16,032 --> 01:24:17,199 Motherfucker. 1234 01:24:17,233 --> 01:24:19,068 What I learned from the afterlife 1235 01:24:19,101 --> 01:24:22,504 is there's no such thing as sadness! 1236 01:24:22,537 --> 01:24:24,040 - Uh, yes! - Oh, goddammit. 1237 01:24:31,080 --> 01:24:33,615 Why did you take your blinders off? 1238 01:24:33,648 --> 01:24:35,650 All of it could have been yours. 1239 01:24:37,619 --> 01:24:40,222 You can't kill a symbol. 1240 01:24:40,256 --> 01:24:43,059 You try to break the symbol, 1241 01:24:43,092 --> 01:24:46,628 the symbol breaks you. 1242 01:24:52,734 --> 01:24:57,706 You know, it's funny you say that. 1243 01:24:57,739 --> 01:25:00,076 Because really, 1244 01:25:00,109 --> 01:25:02,278 anything will kill a snowman. 1245 01:25:03,913 --> 01:25:06,815 Literally just existing long enough 1246 01:25:06,848 --> 01:25:09,285 will kill a snowman. 1247 01:25:09,318 --> 01:25:15,024 We only build snowmen to slowly watch them die. 1248 01:25:15,057 --> 01:25:16,858 What does that say about us? 1249 01:25:20,762 --> 01:25:22,564 But you know, 1250 01:25:22,597 --> 01:25:24,766 the quickest way to kill a snowman? 1251 01:25:35,277 --> 01:25:37,313 Fire. 1252 01:25:37,346 --> 01:25:41,183 If you do it, they'll hate you. 1253 01:25:49,858 --> 01:25:52,560 Kringle Twist! 1254 01:25:59,902 --> 01:26:01,103 Fire alarms? 1255 01:26:01,137 --> 01:26:02,704 Since when are those... 1256 01:26:02,737 --> 01:26:03,805 Fire! 1257 01:26:05,640 --> 01:26:08,843 ♪ The fire's only in your imagination ♪ 1258 01:26:08,877 --> 01:26:10,678 Come on, everyone, let's go, there's a fire! 1259 01:26:10,712 --> 01:26:11,846 Apparently. 1260 01:26:11,881 --> 01:26:13,249 Gunther, it's a big fire, that's not gonna work! 1261 01:26:13,282 --> 01:26:15,017 You gotta go, come on! 1262 01:26:15,051 --> 01:26:17,053 Come on, everyone, yeah, let's go! 1263 01:26:17,086 --> 01:26:19,221 Come on, here we go, let's go to safety! 1264 01:26:19,255 --> 01:26:20,622 Mark, Mark, Mark! 1265 01:26:20,655 --> 01:26:22,590 Hey, listen, you gotta take the suit off, man. 1266 01:26:22,624 --> 01:26:23,758 Hey, you're not gonna make it! 1267 01:26:23,792 --> 01:26:25,327 - Are you an angel? - Mark! 1268 01:26:25,361 --> 01:26:28,130 Take the suit off, I'll protect the suit! 1269 01:26:37,106 --> 01:26:40,708 Jerry! You son of a bitch! 1270 01:26:40,742 --> 01:26:42,877 - Jerry! - What are you doing? 1271 01:26:42,912 --> 01:26:44,779 - There's a fire in there! - Jerry! 1272 01:26:44,813 --> 01:26:47,682 Jerry, you let me back in there right now. 1273 01:26:47,715 --> 01:26:48,616 What the fuck? 1274 01:26:48,650 --> 01:26:49,684 Fire in there, Jerry! 1275 01:26:49,717 --> 01:26:52,754 What the... what the fuck? 1276 01:26:54,223 --> 01:26:56,892 911, what's your emergency? 1277 01:26:56,926 --> 01:26:57,893 Ernest. 1278 01:26:57,927 --> 01:26:59,828 Ernest. 1279 01:26:59,861 --> 01:27:01,063 No, no, Ernest, Ernest, wait, wait. 1280 01:27:01,097 --> 01:27:02,864 Undo this rope, Ernest! 1281 01:27:02,898 --> 01:27:05,000 Just hear me out, okay? 1282 01:27:05,034 --> 01:27:07,702 Look, you love doing your show, right? 1283 01:27:07,735 --> 01:27:08,703 Every week, I let you go out there 1284 01:27:08,736 --> 01:27:09,737 and do whatever you want. 1285 01:27:09,771 --> 01:27:11,107 That's what this station's about, right? 1286 01:27:11,140 --> 01:27:13,142 Do not listen to that motherfucker! 1287 01:27:13,175 --> 01:27:14,176 That's all I want. 1288 01:27:14,210 --> 01:27:15,911 I just want five minutes, Ern. 1289 01:27:15,945 --> 01:27:18,080 Can you help me do that, please? 1290 01:27:18,114 --> 01:27:20,082 There is no fire in there! 1291 01:27:22,284 --> 01:27:23,919 What do you say, buddy? 1292 01:27:31,227 --> 01:27:32,428 - You fucking idiot. - Oh, fuck, you're right. 1293 01:27:32,461 --> 01:27:34,796 Jerry, open the door! 1294 01:27:34,829 --> 01:27:38,300 Okay, okay, come on, come on. 1295 01:27:38,334 --> 01:27:39,701 Get ready to roll on these cameras, 1296 01:27:39,734 --> 01:27:41,137 then run and man the switcher. 1297 01:27:45,807 --> 01:27:47,376 It's motherfuckin' Kringle Time. 1298 01:27:47,409 --> 01:27:51,013 ♪ One, two, three, four, three two, one ♪ 1299 01:27:51,046 --> 01:27:53,082 ♪ 'Cause no one can do it like we do it ♪ 1300 01:27:53,115 --> 01:27:55,050 ♪ Like we do it, like we do it ♪ 1301 01:27:55,084 --> 01:27:56,185 ♪ 'Cause no one can do it... ♪ 1302 01:27:56,218 --> 01:27:58,220 Put it on the Jones tab. 1303 01:27:58,254 --> 01:28:00,089 ♪ Like we do it ♪ 1304 01:28:03,359 --> 01:28:05,361 That's a lot of buttons. 1305 01:28:05,394 --> 01:28:08,297 ♪ No one can do it like we do it, like we do it ♪ 1306 01:28:33,189 --> 01:28:36,091 Hey, kids! 1307 01:28:36,125 --> 01:28:38,427 Guess we'll go check out Kringles Korner, huh? 1308 01:28:38,460 --> 01:28:41,397 See if we got any mail? 1309 01:28:44,233 --> 01:28:46,868 No, you can't use the keys! 1310 01:28:46,902 --> 01:28:48,470 Jerry! 1311 01:28:48,504 --> 01:28:51,273 Jerry! 1312 01:28:51,307 --> 01:28:53,909 Oh, look, it's a credit card statement! 1313 01:28:53,943 --> 01:28:55,511 Yay! 1314 01:28:55,544 --> 01:28:59,048 Oh, look, this one's from the IRS, kids! 1315 01:28:59,081 --> 01:29:00,748 You know what the IRS is? 1316 01:29:00,782 --> 01:29:01,917 Yay! 1317 01:29:03,118 --> 01:29:04,920 Jerry. 1318 01:29:11,894 --> 01:29:16,031 Kringles has had a rough week, kids. 1319 01:29:16,065 --> 01:29:18,100 Going through some stuff. 1320 01:29:19,834 --> 01:29:21,370 Might sound boring to some of you, 1321 01:29:21,403 --> 01:29:23,105 I'm not sure, but... 1322 01:29:23,138 --> 01:29:24,772 I guess if it comes down to a choice 1323 01:29:24,806 --> 01:29:27,009 between connecting with one person 1324 01:29:27,042 --> 01:29:31,380 versus guessing what a bunch of people might want, 1325 01:29:31,413 --> 01:29:35,117 I figure it's better to go for the audience of one. 1326 01:29:50,065 --> 01:29:52,368 My name is Jerry, 1327 01:29:52,401 --> 01:29:55,070 and I play Kringles. 1328 01:29:58,374 --> 01:30:01,543 Before me, it was a guy named Herb, and, uh, 1329 01:30:01,577 --> 01:30:05,047 Herb was a difficult man. 1330 01:30:05,080 --> 01:30:08,217 And to be honest, I hated him. 1331 01:30:10,286 --> 01:30:12,354 But when he put on this mask... 1332 01:30:16,492 --> 01:30:19,395 ...he became something that I loved. 1333 01:30:24,967 --> 01:30:27,002 So what do you do with that? 1334 01:30:29,071 --> 01:30:33,342 Do you look behind the mask at the real person? 1335 01:30:33,375 --> 01:30:35,277 I think that's our instinct, right? 1336 01:30:35,311 --> 01:30:40,082 The mask is a facade, but the person is real. 1337 01:30:40,115 --> 01:30:44,420 But the person is just a person. 1338 01:30:44,453 --> 01:30:48,123 And people die. Every day. 1339 01:30:48,157 --> 01:30:50,959 We lose good people, we lose bad people. 1340 01:30:53,362 --> 01:30:56,864 Eventually, we lose everybody. 1341 01:30:56,899 --> 01:31:00,169 But the mask lives on. 1342 01:31:00,202 --> 01:31:03,072 The mask has power forever. 1343 01:31:05,974 --> 01:31:08,077 So which one's more important? 1344 01:31:11,914 --> 01:31:13,282 I don't know the answer here, kids, 1345 01:31:13,315 --> 01:31:17,186 I'm still trying to figure it out myself. 1346 01:31:17,219 --> 01:31:20,055 Kringles gets lost sometimes, too. 1347 01:31:25,227 --> 01:31:26,362 Here's the thing, kids... 1348 01:31:28,097 --> 01:31:29,331 ...you can't choose who you are. 1349 01:31:29,365 --> 01:31:30,566 The mayor! 1350 01:31:30,599 --> 01:31:32,935 But you can choose who you want to be. 1351 01:31:32,968 --> 01:31:34,236 And personally... 1352 01:31:34,269 --> 01:31:36,105 Jerry! 1353 01:31:36,138 --> 01:31:38,440 ...I'd like to be something different than I have been. 1354 01:31:39,575 --> 01:31:43,145 Naveed, I'm sorry, man. 1355 01:31:43,178 --> 01:31:45,681 I think you will move to Brooklyn. 1356 01:31:45,714 --> 01:31:49,451 Gunther, I'm sorry I never read your pilot. 1357 01:31:49,485 --> 01:31:51,186 I just... 1358 01:31:51,220 --> 01:31:53,188 Shit. 1359 01:31:54,156 --> 01:31:57,159 Heather, 1360 01:31:57,192 --> 01:31:59,495 and all the other interns... 1361 01:32:01,597 --> 01:32:03,332 I'm sorry. 1362 01:32:05,234 --> 01:32:06,435 I knew. 1363 01:32:06,468 --> 01:32:08,704 Or at least, I should have known. 1364 01:32:08,737 --> 01:32:10,005 Stand back! 1365 01:32:10,038 --> 01:32:13,609 - It was just... - Ah! 1366 01:32:13,642 --> 01:32:16,378 ...just more comfortable to ignore it, I guess. 1367 01:32:18,013 --> 01:32:21,116 And Layla, you already know. 1368 01:32:23,252 --> 01:32:26,488 Well, kids, uh, I guess that's it. 1369 01:32:28,690 --> 01:32:31,427 Kringles has to go home now. 1370 01:32:31,460 --> 01:32:33,662 You have a good life, cowpokes. 1371 01:32:35,464 --> 01:32:37,533 And if anyone needs to hear this... 1372 01:32:40,402 --> 01:32:43,539 ...you are more than this. 1373 01:32:43,572 --> 01:32:47,743 You are more than the job you hold. 1374 01:32:47,776 --> 01:32:50,746 You are more than the town where you live. 1375 01:32:54,750 --> 01:32:58,487 You are a shining ball in the darkness of existence... 1376 01:32:58,520 --> 01:33:01,190 ah! 1377 01:33:03,192 --> 01:33:04,560 He is mine! 1378 01:33:06,028 --> 01:33:08,230 Lemme at him! 1379 01:33:08,263 --> 01:33:10,566 I will fire each and every one of you! 1380 01:33:13,402 --> 01:33:15,237 I have got this under control. 1381 01:33:15,270 --> 01:33:16,638 Mr. Mayor, I have got this. 1382 01:33:20,042 --> 01:33:21,777 What the fu... 1383 01:33:21,810 --> 01:33:23,645 People were gonna point at that statue 1384 01:33:23,679 --> 01:33:25,581 a hundred years from now, and say, 1385 01:33:25,614 --> 01:33:27,382 "You know who built that, son? 1386 01:33:27,416 --> 01:33:30,352 Mayor Rodney Jorkins built that." 1387 01:33:30,385 --> 01:33:32,521 - Jorkins! Jorkins! - Freeze! 1388 01:33:32,554 --> 01:33:33,722 Jorkins! Jorkins! 1389 01:33:33,755 --> 01:33:35,624 Now what are they gonna say? 1390 01:33:35,657 --> 01:33:38,026 They're gonna say nothing, Jerry. 1391 01:33:38,060 --> 01:33:39,628 Is that what you want? 1392 01:33:39,661 --> 01:33:42,631 A future where people are pointing at nothing? 1393 01:33:42,664 --> 01:33:44,299 What is happening? 1394 01:33:44,333 --> 01:33:45,334 Jorkins! 1395 01:33:45,367 --> 01:33:47,269 I got this. 1396 01:33:48,537 --> 01:33:49,505 Why? 1397 01:33:49,538 --> 01:33:50,772 How does that feel, Jerry? 1398 01:33:50,806 --> 01:33:52,140 Huh? 1399 01:33:55,377 --> 01:33:58,280 Oh, I tasted... 1400 01:34:05,087 --> 01:34:06,622 Ugh, fuck! 1401 01:34:32,381 --> 01:34:33,549 Well... 1402 01:34:36,184 --> 01:34:38,720 I did what you wanted. 1403 01:34:38,754 --> 01:34:40,455 Your legacy's fine. 1404 01:34:43,792 --> 01:34:45,794 For the moment, I guess. 1405 01:34:45,827 --> 01:34:49,131 Until all those kids out there grow up, 1406 01:34:49,164 --> 01:34:53,735 get old, and die like me. 1407 01:34:53,769 --> 01:34:57,272 Just remember, there's only one Kringles. 1408 01:34:59,575 --> 01:35:03,612 Aren't you, like, immortal now or some shit? 1409 01:35:05,614 --> 01:35:07,549 What's the point? 1410 01:35:23,465 --> 01:35:25,667 I can go? 1411 01:35:25,701 --> 01:35:27,502 Yeah. 1412 01:36:08,710 --> 01:36:10,345 Good morning, Goshen! 1413 01:36:10,379 --> 01:36:12,514 I'm Jasmine Harris, filling in for Ernest 1414 01:36:12,547 --> 01:36:14,583 while he's recuperating. 1415 01:36:14,616 --> 01:36:17,486 Get well soon, Ernest! 1416 01:36:17,519 --> 01:36:21,456 Mayor Rodney Jorkins made history yesterday 1417 01:36:21,490 --> 01:36:23,926 by being the first Goshen mayor 1418 01:36:23,960 --> 01:36:26,662 - to be arrested while in office. - Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor! 1419 01:36:26,695 --> 01:36:27,629 No, not right now, guys, please... 1420 01:36:27,663 --> 01:36:28,965 How does it feel to be the first mayor arrested 1421 01:36:28,998 --> 01:36:29,999 - while in office? - Wait, what? 1422 01:36:30,033 --> 01:36:32,401 - First mayor what? - To be arrested while in office. 1423 01:36:32,434 --> 01:36:33,735 - Really? - Yeah. 1424 01:36:33,769 --> 01:36:35,337 That's pretty cool. 1425 01:36:35,370 --> 01:36:38,473 Acting station manager Daphne Jones announced 1426 01:36:38,507 --> 01:36:40,442 after public backlash 1427 01:36:40,475 --> 01:36:42,411 that the long-running children's favorite, 1428 01:36:42,444 --> 01:36:45,514 Kringle Time, will be cancelled. 1429 01:36:45,547 --> 01:36:48,517 The show has been running ever since 1987 1430 01:36:48,550 --> 01:36:52,354 and was a staple of Goshen Public Access. 1431 01:36:52,387 --> 01:36:55,724 But all things must end. 1432 01:37:04,566 --> 01:37:10,706 ♪ I've been all over Manhattan and Queens ♪ 1433 01:37:10,739 --> 01:37:16,778 ♪ But nothing has felt quite right ♪ 1434 01:37:16,812 --> 01:37:22,985 ♪ But I found a borough, the one in my dreams ♪ 1435 01:37:23,019 --> 01:37:28,323 ♪ You're mine ♪ 1436 01:37:29,624 --> 01:37:30,459 Hey, Naveed! 1437 01:37:30,492 --> 01:37:33,295 - Welcome to Brooklyn! - Hey, Serena! 1438 01:37:33,328 --> 01:37:36,531 It sure feels good to be here in the Big Apple. 1439 01:37:36,565 --> 01:37:38,400 What are you doing in that trash can? 1440 01:37:38,433 --> 01:37:39,501 Trash can? 1441 01:37:39,534 --> 01:37:41,303 This is my apartment! 1442 01:37:43,973 --> 01:37:47,876 ♪ My rent's only 3,500 a month ♪ 1443 01:37:47,910 --> 01:37:50,445 What? 1444 01:37:50,479 --> 01:37:54,516 And even though Kringles has gone home to Alaska, 1445 01:37:54,549 --> 01:37:57,853 he will live in our hearts... 1446 01:37:57,887 --> 01:37:59,055 forever. 1447 01:38:03,692 --> 01:38:06,695 I feel like we've known for a while, right? 1448 01:38:06,728 --> 01:38:08,697 Yeah, I guess. 1449 01:38:08,730 --> 01:38:09,731 Um... 1450 01:38:10,900 --> 01:38:12,768 When I was packing up all the stuff and everything, 1451 01:38:12,801 --> 01:38:17,439 I... I found this, and, uh... 1452 01:38:17,472 --> 01:38:19,875 I thought you'd probably want it, so... 1453 01:38:29,818 --> 01:38:32,454 I think maybe I've watched it enough. 1454 01:38:45,500 --> 01:38:46,668 I love you. 1455 01:39:11,626 --> 01:39:14,897 ♪ It's a little step in the right direction ♪ 1456 01:39:14,931 --> 01:39:16,798 ♪ Couldn't see if from space ♪ 1457 01:39:16,832 --> 01:39:18,935 ♪ I'm right next to you ♪ 1458 01:39:20,836 --> 01:39:24,506 ♪ Whatever you decide to do ♪ 1459 01:39:24,539 --> 01:39:30,079 ♪ I've got your back, we're on the same track ♪ 1460 01:39:30,112 --> 01:39:33,782 ♪ In the universe, you're a molecule ♪ 1461 01:39:33,815 --> 01:39:37,819 ♪ In my eyes, you're a great big deal ♪ 1462 01:39:37,853 --> 01:39:40,990 ♪ Bigger than the moon ♪ 1463 01:39:41,023 --> 01:39:44,693 ♪ You're the only tune I hear ♪ 1464 01:39:44,726 --> 01:39:50,632 ♪ I've got your back, we're on the same track ♪ 1465 01:39:50,665 --> 01:39:53,768 ♪ And if we're moving, then we're moving together ♪ 1466 01:39:53,802 --> 01:39:57,639 ♪ And if we're standing still, then it's still forever ♪ 1467 01:40:12,520 --> 01:40:15,992 ♪ I'm not a psychic, I'm not a mind reader ♪ 1468 01:40:16,025 --> 01:40:19,996 ♪ I don't know when our ship's gonna be here ♪ 1469 01:40:20,029 --> 01:40:23,199 ♪ If it never comes in ♪ 1470 01:40:23,232 --> 01:40:26,801 ♪ I would do it all again ♪ 1471 01:40:26,835 --> 01:40:32,674 ♪ I've got your back, we're on the same track ♪ 1472 01:40:32,707 --> 01:40:35,945 ♪ And if a big wave washed it all away ♪ 1473 01:40:35,978 --> 01:40:40,149 ♪ The apocalypse and the judgment day ♪ 1474 01:40:40,182 --> 01:40:43,551 ♪ I would testify ♪ 1475 01:40:43,585 --> 01:40:46,788 ♪ Looking God in the eye ♪ 1476 01:40:46,821 --> 01:40:52,962 ♪ Saying, "I've got her back, we're on the same track ♪ 1477 01:40:52,995 --> 01:40:56,098 ♪ And if we're moving, then we're moving together ♪ 1478 01:40:56,132 --> 01:41:00,468 ♪ And if we're standing still, then it's still forever ♪ 1479 01:41:22,124 --> 01:41:25,194 ♪ It's a little step in the right direction ♪ 1480 01:41:25,227 --> 01:41:27,229 ♪ Couldn't see if from space ♪ 1481 01:41:27,263 --> 01:41:31,167 ♪ I'm right next to you ♪ 1482 01:41:31,200 --> 01:41:34,937 ♪ Whatever you decide to do ♪ 1483 01:41:34,971 --> 01:41:40,842 ♪ I've got your back, we're on the same track ♪ 1484 01:41:40,875 --> 01:41:44,013 ♪ And if we're moving, then we're moving together ♪ 1485 01:41:44,046 --> 01:41:49,085 ♪ And if we're standing still, then it's still ♪ 1486 01:41:49,118 --> 01:41:53,022 ♪ Forever ♪ 1487 01:42:10,267 --> 01:42:15,267 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull