1 00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:06,253 Hello, Viv! Hello. 2 00:00:06,278 --> 00:00:07,471 She sounds like a monster. 3 00:00:07,496 --> 00:00:09,301 Oh, I know, I won't vote for her, she's horrific. 4 00:00:09,325 --> 00:00:11,480 Are you with me? 5 00:00:13,435 --> 00:00:16,275 Our records show you may not have leave to remain. 6 00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:17,322 They're taking him away? 7 00:00:17,347 --> 00:00:18,885 They're flying me out at 7am. 8 00:00:18,910 --> 00:00:20,667 You can't deport someone in a single day! 9 00:00:20,692 --> 00:00:22,610 Ho-ho, your little world. 10 00:00:22,635 --> 00:00:23,690 Hello, Bethany speaking. 11 00:00:23,715 --> 00:00:25,495 - Oh, my God! - I had it implanted. 12 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,134 My hand is the phone! 13 00:00:27,159 --> 00:00:29,284 You were exposed to one gray of radiation. 14 00:00:29,309 --> 00:00:30,870 I think you might have ten years. 15 00:00:33,712 --> 00:00:35,454 Go on, Vivienne! You did it. 16 00:00:35,938 --> 00:00:38,509 Stephen, how much did you lose? 17 00:00:38,534 --> 00:00:40,937 £1,135,000. 18 00:00:41,354 --> 00:00:42,518 Let me in! 19 00:00:43,737 --> 00:00:44,901 Where are you going to live? 20 00:00:44,902 --> 00:00:46,260 Welcome home. 21 00:00:57,790 --> 00:00:59,990 Just look at the state we are in. 22 00:01:00,272 --> 00:01:04,452 Christmas has been ruined for so many hard-working families. 23 00:01:04,655 --> 00:01:06,817 The collapse of the banks goes on and on. 24 00:01:06,842 --> 00:01:08,513 Now they say Hathersage is in trouble. 25 00:01:08,538 --> 00:01:11,567 For God's sake, my mother has got her life savings in Hathersage. 26 00:01:11,592 --> 00:01:13,170 But they've done it, haven't they, the banks? 27 00:01:13,194 --> 00:01:15,585 They've left us completely... 28 00:01:15,671 --> 00:01:18,333 We've told you before, you really can't use language like that. 29 00:01:18,358 --> 00:01:20,475 Well, you can censor me all you like, 30 00:01:20,799 --> 00:01:23,225 but they swear, don't you? 31 00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:24,410 All of you. 32 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,523 When you think of what the system has done to us, 33 00:01:26,547 --> 00:01:28,225 don't you swear the roof down? 34 00:01:29,181 --> 00:01:32,913 What do we do, the rest of us normal people? What do we do? 35 00:01:32,938 --> 00:01:35,063 Normal people? You're a Member of Parliament. 36 00:01:35,357 --> 00:01:36,484 You're supposed to have the answer. 37 00:01:36,508 --> 00:01:38,859 I think I have, I've got exactly that, 38 00:01:38,884 --> 00:01:42,054 because next year we face a general election and, God knows, 39 00:01:42,079 --> 00:01:43,635 we need to shake things up, don't you think? 40 00:01:43,659 --> 00:01:46,102 So I propose, in order to vote, 41 00:01:46,259 --> 00:01:50,352 every British citizen must take an IQ test. 42 00:01:50,956 --> 00:01:51,956 What? 43 00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:53,309 You can't say that! 44 00:01:53,334 --> 00:01:54,792 Oh, she's brilliant. 45 00:01:54,817 --> 00:01:56,206 I said you'd like it. 46 00:01:56,231 --> 00:02:00,019 If you score above 70, you can vote. Simple as that. 47 00:02:00,044 --> 00:02:02,245 Oh, she is outrageous. 48 00:02:02,270 --> 00:02:04,528 70's quite low. It's not that bad. 49 00:02:04,607 --> 00:02:07,106 Are you saying that some people are too stupid to vote? 50 00:02:07,184 --> 00:02:09,332 No. That's what you say, 51 00:02:09,551 --> 00:02:12,262 millions of you, at work, at home, in the pub, 52 00:02:12,287 --> 00:02:14,301 you say, "Take away the vote." 53 00:02:14,527 --> 00:02:16,315 You say it, Dan. All the time. 54 00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:18,152 That was you and Brexit, nonstop. 55 00:02:18,223 --> 00:02:21,590 You say things are too complicated and people are not clever enough. 56 00:02:29,433 --> 00:02:32,401 And you said it, Steve. I heard you. You said it last week. 57 00:02:32,434 --> 00:02:33,987 Oh, right. It's all my fault. 58 00:02:34,012 --> 00:02:36,666 - Some of us have work to do. - Excuse me! I'm working! 59 00:02:36,691 --> 00:02:39,434 But he's doing actual, physical work. 60 00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:42,223 - You want another cup of tea? - No. 61 00:02:42,309 --> 00:02:44,901 Like it or not, she's got a point. People are thick. 62 00:02:44,902 --> 00:02:47,136 Hold on. Would you ban me? 63 00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:48,901 Not if you passed the test. 64 00:02:49,026 --> 00:02:51,065 Oh, my God! You'd ban me! 65 00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:54,237 Edith, I don't get it. I thought you were the great anarchist. 66 00:02:54,262 --> 00:02:57,712 Well, that's Vivienne Rook. She's ripping up democracy. I love it. 67 00:02:57,737 --> 00:03:00,525 Hold on, though. This isn't real. This isn't legal. 68 00:03:00,550 --> 00:03:03,618 She's only one MP. She can't actually do it. 69 00:03:03,643 --> 00:03:06,929 Hey, one more thing about next year, dad's birthday, his 70th. 70 00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:08,555 So? 71 00:03:08,768 --> 00:03:10,063 How is that relevant? 72 00:03:10,088 --> 00:03:12,409 Oh, my God. Is he 70? 73 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:16,417 He's still living in Leicester, which isn't far. Just saying. 74 00:03:16,542 --> 00:03:19,346 2026, let the people decide, 75 00:03:20,037 --> 00:03:21,892 but only the clever ones. 76 00:03:28,244 --> 00:03:30,868 The shock from the banking crisis continues, 77 00:03:30,893 --> 00:03:34,766 with Moody's reducing the UK credit rating to A2. 78 00:03:34,791 --> 00:03:38,250 Panic in the City as Kleiman Ajax has been declared bankrupt. 79 00:03:38,275 --> 00:03:41,500 Consequences for the pharmaceutical industry will be enormous. 80 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:44,767 Can't get the drugs. Ordinary drugs, you can't get them. 81 00:03:45,103 --> 00:03:47,041 Ruby takes Clobazam for her epilepsy. 82 00:03:47,299 --> 00:03:49,936 The chemist says, "We're out of stock. Come back in six weeks." 83 00:03:49,937 --> 00:03:54,554 The emergency election in France has seen a 30% swing to the right. 84 00:03:54,579 --> 00:03:56,212 We were going to get Viktor into France. 85 00:03:56,911 --> 00:03:57,911 Not any more. 86 00:03:58,399 --> 00:04:00,340 Now they deport anyone without a visa. 87 00:04:06,488 --> 00:04:08,692 In anticipation of the general election, 88 00:04:08,717 --> 00:04:11,214 the government has employed 10,000 data sweepers 89 00:04:11,239 --> 00:04:13,887 - to monitor Russian interference. - Hello. 90 00:04:13,888 --> 00:04:17,051 Hi, there, Bethany. I'm Lizzie. 91 00:04:17,416 --> 00:04:18,715 I like your phone. 92 00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:30,870 Link, radio off, call Viktor. 93 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,519 Calling Viktor. 94 00:04:37,262 --> 00:04:38,914 Link, try again. 95 00:04:41,332 --> 00:04:43,770 Link, send text to Viktor. 96 00:04:44,402 --> 00:04:48,073 Hey, comma, get up, you lazy bastard, full stop. 97 00:04:48,098 --> 00:04:52,902 Emoji kiss, emoji wink... emoji erect penis, send. 98 00:04:53,910 --> 00:04:55,824 Link, try Viktor one more time. 99 00:04:55,934 --> 00:04:57,332 Calling Viktor. 100 00:05:09,245 --> 00:05:10,729 Viktor linked. 101 00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:15,815 Listen, I was thinking I could come out to see you on the 1st and... 102 00:05:17,894 --> 00:05:19,370 Viktor, is that you? 103 00:05:21,979 --> 00:05:23,401 Vik, are you there? Hello? 104 00:05:24,609 --> 00:05:25,609 Hello. 105 00:05:27,292 --> 00:05:28,698 I said, hello. 106 00:05:29,979 --> 00:05:31,394 Hello, can you hear me? 107 00:05:32,386 --> 00:05:33,386 Ah. 108 00:05:42,482 --> 00:05:43,932 I'm not... I don't... 109 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:51,771 I'm sorry, but I can't speak.. Erm... 110 00:05:51,796 --> 00:05:54,607 You called, Skype here, yes? 111 00:05:55,599 --> 00:05:57,381 - Yes. - Viktor Goraya. 112 00:05:57,654 --> 00:05:59,845 You called Viktor Goraya, yes? 113 00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:02,170 Daniel Lyons is you? 114 00:06:06,198 --> 00:06:09,138 - Yes. - You know Viktor Goraya. 115 00:06:12,123 --> 00:06:13,435 He's my friend... 116 00:06:15,177 --> 00:06:17,231 and I'm calling him, which I'm allowed to do. 117 00:06:18,153 --> 00:06:20,899 I haven't done anything wrong and neither has he. 118 00:06:21,059 --> 00:06:22,059 Where is he? 119 00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:26,487 It's you, huh? 120 00:06:27,715 --> 00:06:29,214 Hello, sir. 121 00:06:41,504 --> 00:06:43,785 - Do you pay him, Englishman? - No. 122 00:06:44,629 --> 00:06:47,183 He's your bitch. 123 00:06:49,963 --> 00:06:51,262 Shit. 124 00:06:51,299 --> 00:06:53,393 I don't know but they were the police. 125 00:06:54,628 --> 00:06:56,299 Well, it was a uniform. 126 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,753 Look, I've been out there. 127 00:06:58,778 --> 00:07:00,362 They were proper policemen. 128 00:07:00,682 --> 00:07:02,854 I'm looking for Viktor. 129 00:07:03,551 --> 00:07:05,565 Viktor Goraya. 130 00:07:06,501 --> 00:07:07,528 Erm... 131 00:07:12,651 --> 00:07:14,618 No, I won't be coming into work today. 132 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,292 - We need you. - No, I'm sorry, I just can't. 133 00:07:16,316 --> 00:07:17,316 Sorry, no. 134 00:07:17,341 --> 00:07:20,878 He passed his Rule 35 assessment in the UK. 135 00:07:21,137 --> 00:07:23,291 So who do I speak to? 136 00:07:29,805 --> 00:07:34,297 My name is Daniel Lyons. I work for Manchester City Council. 137 00:07:34,516 --> 00:07:36,941 I need some help... For God's sake! 138 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:39,055 Sorry, not you. 139 00:07:39,601 --> 00:07:42,679 So the police said, "Give us his name," but if I do that 140 00:07:42,704 --> 00:07:45,288 and they say, "Who are you?" and I say, "I'm his boyfriend," 141 00:07:45,313 --> 00:07:46,873 what if they pass that on? 142 00:07:46,874 --> 00:07:49,547 Cos that's like evidence, isn't it? So what do I do? 143 00:07:49,758 --> 00:07:52,829 I mean, what do I do? I mean, really... what do I do? 144 00:07:58,046 --> 00:07:59,045 Hello. 145 00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:00,657 Hello! Hello? 146 00:08:01,196 --> 00:08:03,896 It's me. I'm safe. I'm okay. 147 00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:06,586 - I'm sorry. - Oh, my God! 148 00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:10,928 - Are you all right? - Fine. 149 00:08:11,540 --> 00:08:13,704 - Where are you? - I got away. 150 00:08:14,399 --> 00:08:15,852 - Are you all right? - I'm fine. 151 00:08:15,877 --> 00:08:17,125 I'm fine. I'm with Roman. 152 00:08:17,406 --> 00:08:20,094 I ran so fast I didn't have my phone, but I'm okay. 153 00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:21,603 I promise. 154 00:08:21,828 --> 00:08:24,436 Turns out he's in Odessa. 155 00:08:24,585 --> 00:08:26,577 Literally had two minutes' warning. 156 00:08:26,602 --> 00:08:27,703 Ran before the police arrived, 157 00:08:27,727 --> 00:08:29,280 left everything behind, got on a bus, 158 00:08:29,305 --> 00:08:31,741 this clickety-clackety bus type thing, 159 00:08:31,766 --> 00:08:34,506 no suspension, overland, nine hours later, 160 00:08:34,654 --> 00:08:36,060 Odessa, thank you very much. 161 00:08:36,248 --> 00:08:37,528 I don't even know where that is. 162 00:08:38,202 --> 00:08:39,623 Is he safe though, is he okay? 163 00:08:39,648 --> 00:08:40,717 He's got this mate, Roman, 164 00:08:40,742 --> 00:08:43,639 he says Viktor can hide there for a bit, so... 165 00:08:44,465 --> 00:08:46,654 - I'm sorry. - Thanks, sweetheart, thank you. 166 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:48,592 - Hi, Lizzie. - Hello. 167 00:08:48,732 --> 00:08:50,295 Has he actually broken the law? 168 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,223 Well, no, technically. Technically, no. 169 00:08:53,248 --> 00:08:56,879 But the Communist Party applied to make same-sex relationships illegal, 170 00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,418 or you can't express homosexuality. 171 00:08:58,443 --> 00:09:00,653 That's the phrase, you can't express it. 172 00:09:00,678 --> 00:09:02,676 They tried to do that back in 2016. 173 00:09:02,701 --> 00:09:06,107 Now this is the Communist Party, this isn't a bunch of nutters, 174 00:09:06,132 --> 00:09:09,909 this is the people's party and they applied again, in 2019, 175 00:09:09,934 --> 00:09:12,130 and, this year, third time lucky, 176 00:09:12,155 --> 00:09:15,193 so, yeah, any day now, he's a criminal. 177 00:09:18,513 --> 00:09:20,910 Oh, I've got to go, mate, got to go. 178 00:09:21,536 --> 00:09:23,911 Delivering a parcel to Whalley Range. Sorry. 179 00:09:23,936 --> 00:09:24,972 So what are you going to do? 180 00:09:24,996 --> 00:09:26,795 Well, we've got to get him out, we've got to get him into a country 181 00:09:26,819 --> 00:09:30,497 that grants asylum but, to do that, he's got to cross the border. 182 00:09:30,522 --> 00:09:32,536 - You mean illegally? - Yeah. 183 00:09:32,668 --> 00:09:34,614 And how dangerous is that? 184 00:09:35,811 --> 00:09:36,815 Very. 185 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,255 So we'll have to do it illegally. 186 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,917 God knows how, but I've got to get him over the border and out. 187 00:09:42,942 --> 00:09:44,873 Oh, my God! That's amazing. 188 00:09:45,093 --> 00:09:46,879 Give him my love! Good luck. 189 00:09:49,303 --> 00:09:51,725 I'm sorry but I'm running out of ways to say, "Oh, my God." 190 00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:54,853 Odessa's by the sea. I think it's a really nice place to live. 191 00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:57,893 - Do you think he sends Viktor money? - Oh, I know he does. 192 00:09:58,217 --> 00:09:59,990 Right, I'm late, I'm off. 193 00:10:00,037 --> 00:10:02,873 Bloody nerve, calling me in at half term. I bet it's trouble! 194 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:06,420 I was thinking, Lee's spending the day with his little mate, Craig. 195 00:10:06,445 --> 00:10:07,456 I could take Lincoln out. 196 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:09,465 There's this Chinese ceramics thing on at the Whitworth, 197 00:10:09,489 --> 00:10:11,635 then we could go see Toy Story Resurrection. 198 00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:13,714 You know Woody gets burnt to death? 199 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,354 Don't go giving him nightmares. 200 00:10:15,997 --> 00:10:17,215 Right, behave. 201 00:10:17,889 --> 00:10:19,184 There's a good boy. 202 00:10:19,402 --> 00:10:21,557 And you, metal head, bye-bye! 203 00:10:22,945 --> 00:10:23,945 Bye. 204 00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:28,019 What do you think? Nice little adventure with your auntie? 205 00:10:29,269 --> 00:10:33,042 There. Gorgeous. Okay, don't tell your mum and I'll give you ten quid. 206 00:10:33,176 --> 00:10:35,402 Who's a beautiful girl? What do you want to be called? 207 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,495 - Susie. - Okay, Susie, off we go. 208 00:10:38,699 --> 00:10:42,175 Whoa. Now we can have an adventure, you and me, 209 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,105 but it's a secret from everyone else. 210 00:10:44,130 --> 00:10:46,715 So if I say the word "diamond", 211 00:10:46,740 --> 00:10:48,431 you say, "I want to go to the toilet." 212 00:10:48,456 --> 00:10:50,027 Like, oh, what a pretty diamond. 213 00:10:50,052 --> 00:10:51,755 I want to go to the toilet. 214 00:10:51,897 --> 00:10:53,629 I'd love to have a diamond. 215 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,487 I want to go to the toilet. 216 00:10:55,512 --> 00:10:57,870 Someone please buy me a diamond. 217 00:10:57,895 --> 00:10:59,424 I want to go to the toilet. 218 00:10:59,449 --> 00:11:00,867 I wish I had a diamond. 219 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,371 I want to go to the toilet. 220 00:11:02,708 --> 00:11:05,168 Very, very, very good... 221 00:11:05,475 --> 00:11:06,715 Susie. 222 00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:14,607 Hello. 223 00:11:15,356 --> 00:11:18,098 That's your bring your daughter to work activity pack. 224 00:11:18,496 --> 00:11:20,379 Aren't you gorgeous? What's your name? 225 00:11:20,404 --> 00:11:21,407 Susie. 226 00:11:21,432 --> 00:11:23,067 Welcome to Wytel, Susie. 227 00:11:31,203 --> 00:11:34,105 So just pretend you're very, very sad. 228 00:11:36,269 --> 00:11:39,988 Hello, I'm Holly. I'm in charge of the daughters' playgroup. 229 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:41,753 I've not seen you before, have I? 230 00:11:41,778 --> 00:11:44,009 No, it's all this hot desking. 231 00:11:44,034 --> 00:11:45,650 I normally, sort of, work over there. 232 00:11:45,675 --> 00:11:49,034 This is Susie. She's a bit sad at the moment because her father, 233 00:11:49,059 --> 00:11:51,448 you know, let's not get into it! The buffoon! 234 00:11:51,550 --> 00:11:53,097 So be nice to her. 235 00:11:53,269 --> 00:11:54,689 Oh, of course I will. 236 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,150 Now then, Susie, I've got some nice soft play. 237 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,855 Would you like to come and meet the others? 238 00:12:10,221 --> 00:12:12,501 There now, Susie, 239 00:12:12,526 --> 00:12:15,151 I must say, you look like a right little diamond! 240 00:12:15,808 --> 00:12:17,432 I want to go to the toilet. 241 00:12:17,922 --> 00:12:20,119 Oh, right then. Off we go. 242 00:12:27,823 --> 00:12:30,252 Well done! Good girl! 243 00:12:32,937 --> 00:12:34,127 Just like the old days. 244 00:12:34,152 --> 00:12:36,619 - This is the last time. - See you next week. 245 00:12:37,354 --> 00:12:39,666 - You suit those ribbons. - Can I keep them? 246 00:12:40,564 --> 00:12:41,790 I don't see why not. 247 00:12:43,368 --> 00:12:45,148 I spent a week working for Harpoons 248 00:12:45,173 --> 00:12:48,546 but, to be honest, I thought their standards weren't that high. 249 00:12:48,571 --> 00:12:50,936 They were a bit imprecise, which is deadly in this job. 250 00:12:51,696 --> 00:12:54,564 So I thought I'd go and work for Beckindole's, best careers in town. 251 00:12:54,849 --> 00:12:56,859 I've got a clean driving licence, 252 00:12:56,884 --> 00:12:59,040 so I can work the vans or the bikes, whatever you want. 253 00:12:59,064 --> 00:13:00,814 Well, for a start, you're not couriers. 254 00:13:01,204 --> 00:13:03,228 We call you lifestyle enhancers 255 00:13:03,618 --> 00:13:06,079 because you make people's life feel better. Do you get it? 256 00:13:06,618 --> 00:13:09,509 - Yeah, works for me. - Right, standard rules. 257 00:13:09,809 --> 00:13:11,138 50 pence a parcel. 258 00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:14,340 If any parcel takes longer than 60 minutes to deliver 259 00:13:14,529 --> 00:13:15,684 you won't be paid. 260 00:13:15,868 --> 00:13:18,801 No holiday, no sick pay, no argument. 261 00:13:18,926 --> 00:13:22,871 You'll pay Beckindole £1.50 a day insurance if you're on the van, 262 00:13:23,216 --> 00:13:24,692 £1 if you're on the bike, 263 00:13:24,717 --> 00:13:27,043 and the £1 charge applies even on days off. 264 00:13:28,301 --> 00:13:30,090 You're a bit overqualified, aren't you? 265 00:13:30,115 --> 00:13:33,168 Oh, well, I suppose I've wasted my time a little bit. 266 00:13:33,193 --> 00:13:35,673 Yeah, you're not the only one. I've got tons of you these days. 267 00:13:35,739 --> 00:13:37,543 Neil, over there, went to Oxford. 268 00:13:37,848 --> 00:13:39,145 Studied astrology. 269 00:13:39,511 --> 00:13:41,473 Doesn't help him cycle any faster, does it? 270 00:13:41,503 --> 00:13:43,684 No, no, I don't suppose it does, astronomy. 271 00:13:44,137 --> 00:13:45,285 But never mind. 272 00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:47,098 So what did you do before? 273 00:13:48,098 --> 00:13:50,160 Oh, banking. 274 00:13:50,316 --> 00:13:51,862 Oh, those bastards. 275 00:13:51,863 --> 00:13:53,253 I know, bastards. 276 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:55,284 Look what they've done to us. 277 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,402 I hated it, I'm glad to be out. 278 00:14:15,532 --> 00:14:16,829 So what do I do, just pull the string? 279 00:14:16,853 --> 00:14:17,853 Mm-hm. 280 00:14:23,594 --> 00:14:26,167 You... you can't let school kids have this. They'll be scarred! 281 00:14:26,192 --> 00:14:29,398 We trust them with knives and forks. This is much the same. 282 00:14:31,846 --> 00:14:35,560 Not too hot, not too cold. That's why they're calling it 283 00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:37,398 Goldilocks Clean Meat, 284 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,062 completely artificial, 285 00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:40,710 grown in a laboratory. 286 00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:43,568 It's so far removed from the original animal, 287 00:14:43,593 --> 00:14:45,187 they're saying it's fit for vegans. 288 00:14:45,249 --> 00:14:46,881 Grown how? What does it look like? 289 00:14:46,882 --> 00:14:48,893 They're called bolts, bolts of meat. 290 00:14:48,894 --> 00:14:52,334 Like those things in kebabs shops, but enormous. 291 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,187 Well, I do love kebabs. 292 00:14:57,765 --> 00:15:00,694 - Damn. - Injected with saltless salt. 293 00:15:01,194 --> 00:15:03,483 Oh, my God! It's delicious. 294 00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:06,001 That's bad news, that. 295 00:15:06,482 --> 00:15:08,185 Mm, God, it's nice, isn't it? 296 00:15:09,434 --> 00:15:12,107 They haven't cracked salad yet. We still need staff for that. 297 00:15:12,184 --> 00:15:14,411 I've done the sums. We need four. 298 00:15:14,559 --> 00:15:16,466 - Four people? - Mm-hm, I think so. 299 00:15:16,861 --> 00:15:19,526 Well, I've got a staff of ten, so who's going to go? 300 00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:21,904 Beverley. Who else? 301 00:15:22,441 --> 00:15:24,815 Rosie, I've got to lose £200,000. 302 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,783 It's the same every time. The banks collapse, 303 00:15:26,808 --> 00:15:29,105 the government bails them out, so they take money off us. 304 00:15:29,769 --> 00:15:32,136 I'm sorry, but six of the catering staff will have to go. 305 00:15:33,011 --> 00:15:34,904 Including all managerial posts. 306 00:15:35,394 --> 00:15:37,596 But that's me. You mean me? 307 00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:40,204 The Goldilocks system doesn't need skills at your level. 308 00:15:40,229 --> 00:15:41,298 I've got two kids. 309 00:15:41,323 --> 00:15:44,470 We need to restructure. I can give you till Easter. 310 00:15:44,495 --> 00:15:47,214 That's plenty of notice for you to have a look around 311 00:15:47,478 --> 00:15:49,175 and try other avenues. 312 00:15:59,206 --> 00:16:02,056 - Here come the dinner ladies! - All right, girls? 313 00:16:02,081 --> 00:16:05,698 It's my big farewell, before I'm replaced by a bolt of vegan meat. 314 00:16:05,825 --> 00:16:09,579 We've got food and booze and music and it didn't cost me a penny 315 00:16:09,604 --> 00:16:11,656 cos it's my big, gay brother's birthday. 316 00:16:11,681 --> 00:16:13,275 He's paying for the whole thing. 317 00:16:13,915 --> 00:16:15,862 - You'll like him, Eric! - Whoo! 318 00:16:15,863 --> 00:16:16,874 Come on, then. 319 00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:18,851 - Hey, lads. - Hi, Stephen. 320 00:16:18,876 --> 00:16:20,080 - Hey, how are you? - All right? 321 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,304 Thanks for coming. 322 00:16:22,093 --> 00:16:24,998 - This is really nice of you. - Oh, well, it's my brother's idea. 323 00:16:25,023 --> 00:16:28,351 Yeah, that's him, over there. Yeah, that's Dan, with the muscles. 324 00:16:28,714 --> 00:16:31,593 Yeah, he's 37 today, so he said, "Let's have a blow out." 325 00:16:31,839 --> 00:16:34,459 Oh, this is the long-suffering. 326 00:16:34,484 --> 00:16:36,109 Celeste, this is Pete from work. 327 00:16:36,335 --> 00:16:39,021 That doesn't help. You've got about five jobs. Which one? 328 00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:42,950 The couriers, yeah! Best courier team in South Manchester. 329 00:16:42,975 --> 00:16:46,076 That's Stan and Alif and Elaine and John. 330 00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:49,193 He works harder than anyone, your husband. He puts us to shame. 331 00:16:49,302 --> 00:16:52,146 Oh, I'm doing three jobs myself, but I bet he didn't mention that. 332 00:16:52,661 --> 00:16:55,845 We need the money! I'm the man who lost a million quid, remember? 333 00:16:55,870 --> 00:16:57,177 How can we forget? 334 00:16:58,084 --> 00:16:59,124 We can try. 335 00:17:00,803 --> 00:17:03,387 Oh, brilliant. That's great. 336 00:17:03,412 --> 00:17:05,988 Oh, there's a perfect space at the back. I want you to play loud. 337 00:17:06,013 --> 00:17:07,426 Oh, I can do loud. 338 00:17:07,451 --> 00:17:10,232 We did Glastonbury and Ralph McTell complained. 339 00:17:10,645 --> 00:17:11,919 We're okay, aren't we? 340 00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,990 I mean this plan, it is going to work, isn't it? 341 00:17:16,216 --> 00:17:18,826 I hope so. Fingers crossed, yeah. 342 00:17:18,851 --> 00:17:21,013 Yeah, yeah, all right. 343 00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:23,591 All right. 344 00:17:26,099 --> 00:17:27,645 Oh, Lizzie, this is my Auntie Edith, 345 00:17:27,670 --> 00:17:29,099 the one that works for those charities. 346 00:17:29,123 --> 00:17:31,762 - Lizzie did that research for you. - On Wytel Industries? 347 00:17:31,772 --> 00:17:34,090 Oh, yeah, thanks, Lizzie, it really helped, thank you. 348 00:17:34,115 --> 00:17:35,902 It was for this fundraising thing. 349 00:17:35,927 --> 00:17:38,558 They're going bust now, Wytel, did you hear? 350 00:17:38,583 --> 00:17:41,786 There's some sort of big scandal. It was on the news this morning. 351 00:17:42,063 --> 00:17:44,918 Oh, is that right? Erm, actually I forgot... 352 00:17:44,943 --> 00:17:46,396 that thing. I'll see you later. 353 00:17:46,755 --> 00:17:48,794 Oh, it's so good of you to come. 354 00:17:48,989 --> 00:17:50,271 I've driven past this house. 355 00:17:50,296 --> 00:17:51,395 I always wondered what it was like. 356 00:17:51,419 --> 00:17:54,355 Come on, have a look. Viktor says hello and thank you. 357 00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:57,012 The work you did with that petition was amazing. 358 00:17:57,037 --> 00:17:58,895 Dan's going a bit nuts, isn't he? 359 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,635 Just a little bit. 360 00:18:00,910 --> 00:18:03,110 His head's going to go Hong Sha if he doesn't calm down. 361 00:18:03,293 --> 00:18:05,848 That's what they say now, Hong Sha, kaboom. 362 00:18:06,387 --> 00:18:08,676 Do you remember when Hong Sha went off? 363 00:18:09,090 --> 00:18:12,322 We all said, "Oh, the whole world has changed." 364 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,767 "Things will never be the same." 365 00:18:14,792 --> 00:18:16,714 Hardly gets mentioned any more. 366 00:18:17,285 --> 00:18:20,870 Well, except the consequences of that ruined my entire life. 367 00:18:21,605 --> 00:18:22,792 I know, darling. 368 00:18:22,817 --> 00:18:25,449 Eric, you need lots of pepper. 369 00:18:25,488 --> 00:18:27,995 Coleslaw is all about the pepper. 370 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:29,831 You just brought us here to work. 371 00:18:29,856 --> 00:18:31,081 Correct. Get on with it. 372 00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:34,405 Gran, why does my signal keep cutting out? 373 00:18:34,506 --> 00:18:38,184 Oh, go on to Signor Two! That works, for some reason. 374 00:18:38,209 --> 00:18:39,537 Thank you. 375 00:18:40,065 --> 00:18:41,936 So what's this new job of hers? 376 00:18:41,975 --> 00:18:43,358 Charity stuff. 377 00:18:43,467 --> 00:18:46,285 She used to help them out in the field, and now she does in the cities. 378 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,520 She goes into boardrooms and asks them for money. 379 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,762 It just seems so calm for Edith. 380 00:18:50,787 --> 00:18:55,465 She was always chaining herself to railings and burning things down. 381 00:18:55,974 --> 00:18:58,349 I'm strangely disappointed. 382 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,582 Lincoln likes those little ribbons. 383 00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:02,748 It's not a problem, is it? 384 00:19:03,038 --> 00:19:04,740 He looks very pretty. 385 00:19:06,097 --> 00:19:08,479 Well, I doubt that Wytel knew what they were doing 386 00:19:08,504 --> 00:19:10,692 but the leaked document spells it out. 387 00:19:10,912 --> 00:19:14,581 Wytel supplied equipment to MBJM who sent it to Damascus, 388 00:19:14,606 --> 00:19:17,840 where it was used to build Syria's concentration camps. 389 00:19:17,881 --> 00:19:19,520 And to return to the headlines. 390 00:19:19,837 --> 00:19:22,707 The Prime Minister has confirmed the date of the general election 391 00:19:22,892 --> 00:19:25,131 as Thursday the 7th of May. 392 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,856 We asked MPs for their reaction. 393 00:19:28,247 --> 00:19:30,567 I am delighted. 394 00:19:30,774 --> 00:19:33,653 At last, let the fight begin. 395 00:19:34,418 --> 00:19:36,957 Right, food's up. We have beef burgers, 396 00:19:36,982 --> 00:19:40,981 hot dogs, proper sausages, veggie burgers, 397 00:19:41,006 --> 00:19:43,306 and this is the latest thing, 398 00:19:43,331 --> 00:19:45,086 it's orange burger, 399 00:19:45,087 --> 00:19:46,535 made out of orange peel. 400 00:19:49,004 --> 00:19:51,047 Those two, you don't think...? 401 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,214 - Do you? - I don't know. 402 00:19:54,315 --> 00:19:57,423 No. I think Beth's just being 14. 403 00:19:57,448 --> 00:19:59,956 She was never 14, she's just got a crush, that's all. 404 00:20:01,168 --> 00:20:02,237 However... 405 00:20:02,737 --> 00:20:04,658 Oh, my God, I thought so too. 406 00:20:04,683 --> 00:20:05,886 Do you know, I never know with Edith? 407 00:20:05,910 --> 00:20:08,987 Trust me, she's tried everything, 408 00:20:09,145 --> 00:20:10,682 all those years at sea. 409 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:23,289 I tried telling my mum. She doesn't understand. 410 00:20:23,314 --> 00:20:25,025 I mean, she won't understand. 411 00:20:25,415 --> 00:20:26,837 She refuses. 412 00:20:26,862 --> 00:20:29,562 My mum and dad, they're like, haven't you grown out of that yet? 413 00:20:29,587 --> 00:20:31,390 I said, "Mum, you should look online." 414 00:20:31,415 --> 00:20:32,454 "You should see Richard Albright." 415 00:20:32,478 --> 00:20:34,461 He's got a wafer in his head. 416 00:20:34,486 --> 00:20:36,079 He can print his thoughts. 417 00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:38,048 Oh, my God. 418 00:20:39,276 --> 00:20:42,814 How far would you go, Beth, to be trans-human? 419 00:20:43,986 --> 00:20:45,121 It's like, 420 00:20:45,567 --> 00:20:48,316 sometimes, I think my lungs fill with up with air 421 00:20:48,341 --> 00:20:51,762 and it goes in and out like some sort of bellows, and it feels so... 422 00:20:52,093 --> 00:20:53,355 thick. 423 00:20:54,332 --> 00:20:57,979 - We could be so much better than this. - We could be free. 424 00:20:58,004 --> 00:21:01,675 We could be flying. We should be wavelengths in the air. 425 00:21:02,847 --> 00:21:04,488 How much money have you got? 426 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:06,359 Why? 427 00:21:07,018 --> 00:21:08,527 Tell me how much. 428 00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:11,293 My dad gave me 10,000 for my 18th. 429 00:21:11,318 --> 00:21:12,574 Even when we lost everything, 430 00:21:12,599 --> 00:21:14,871 he said, "That's yours. Hold on to it!" 431 00:21:15,636 --> 00:21:16,949 Cos I did it, Beth. 432 00:21:17,835 --> 00:21:19,104 I contacted that woman. 433 00:21:19,129 --> 00:21:22,112 I spoke to her, I actually spoke to her and she said we'd be perfect. 434 00:21:22,683 --> 00:21:23,871 Oh, my God. 435 00:21:24,026 --> 00:21:25,855 You could pay for us both. 436 00:21:27,596 --> 00:21:28,823 Would you do it? 437 00:21:28,947 --> 00:21:29,983 Would you? 438 00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:39,166 Woo! 439 00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:41,792 I want to see you all dancing. 440 00:21:41,885 --> 00:21:43,463 Hey-hey. 441 00:21:44,792 --> 00:21:48,290 ♪ Tonight, tonight's the wedding feast ♪ 442 00:21:48,315 --> 00:21:51,743 ♪ The men arriving with the slaughtered beast ♪ 443 00:21:51,768 --> 00:21:55,107 ♪ A wail, a chant soon fills the air ♪ 444 00:21:55,108 --> 00:21:58,736 ♪ For miles around the people cheer ♪ 445 00:21:59,385 --> 00:22:03,046 ♪ Mama Thembu's getting married here tonight ♪ 446 00:22:03,071 --> 00:22:06,414 ♪ All the spirits looking happy, red and bright ♪ 447 00:22:06,439 --> 00:22:09,759 ♪ Mama Thembu's getting married here tonight ♪ 448 00:22:09,784 --> 00:22:13,509 ♪ The bones are thrown and Mama's path is shining bright ♪ 449 00:22:26,447 --> 00:22:28,544 Thank you. Thank you, isn't she amazing? 450 00:22:28,577 --> 00:22:30,533 Miss Fran Baxter, everyone. 451 00:22:33,568 --> 00:22:36,231 Er, OK, just a couple of things. 452 00:22:36,256 --> 00:22:38,387 Happy birthday to me, obviously. 453 00:22:38,903 --> 00:22:42,356 Don't start singing, not yet, hold on. I'm 25 today. 454 00:22:42,381 --> 00:22:46,183 But first of all, I just want to say thank you 455 00:22:46,208 --> 00:22:49,542 on behalf of someone who can't be here tonight, Viktor Goraya. 456 00:22:49,567 --> 00:22:50,645 Oh, here we go. 457 00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:55,964 So many of you, well, everyone, you've all been so kind. 458 00:22:55,989 --> 00:22:57,620 - He means you. - I'm the best. 459 00:22:57,645 --> 00:22:59,737 I know it has been months of worry and petitions, 460 00:22:59,762 --> 00:23:01,779 you all wrote letters and things, you've all been amazing, 461 00:23:01,803 --> 00:23:05,809 but he was trapped in a country that denies his existence... 462 00:23:06,776 --> 00:23:08,575 until Thursday night. 463 00:23:09,575 --> 00:23:12,869 Er, because Thursday night Viktor left Odessa 464 00:23:12,894 --> 00:23:14,863 and he went to Ternopil. 465 00:23:14,888 --> 00:23:16,957 At midnight, he got into a lorry, and 466 00:23:16,982 --> 00:23:19,432 they crossed the border at Krakovets, successfully. 467 00:23:21,394 --> 00:23:24,924 Got into Poland, ten hours, down through Germany, 468 00:23:24,949 --> 00:23:27,076 still too dangerous, stopped near Stuttgart 469 00:23:27,077 --> 00:23:30,440 and they got from that lorry into another lorry. 470 00:23:30,465 --> 00:23:31,738 Thanks, Siobhan. 471 00:23:32,093 --> 00:23:34,629 From there, through France. 472 00:23:36,793 --> 00:23:38,080 I know, I know, I know. 473 00:23:38,519 --> 00:23:40,744 Onwards, down to Spain. 474 00:23:43,550 --> 00:23:45,855 Thank you. He crossed the border 475 00:23:46,332 --> 00:23:48,581 and he did it, he got there. 476 00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:52,767 And that was today. 477 00:23:52,792 --> 00:23:55,987 And he's surrendered himself to the Spanish authorities 478 00:23:56,012 --> 00:23:58,620 and they arrested him, but that was the plan. 479 00:23:59,245 --> 00:24:03,917 Socialist Spain, they arrested him, he applies for asylum, 480 00:24:04,245 --> 00:24:05,292 they won't deport him. 481 00:24:05,317 --> 00:24:08,518 What I'm saying is, well, he did it. 482 00:24:09,839 --> 00:24:11,362 He's safe. He's there! 483 00:24:14,116 --> 00:24:17,448 I know this for a fact because, because, because... 484 00:24:18,618 --> 00:24:19,752 Here he is! 485 00:24:59,799 --> 00:25:01,118 All right, thanks. 486 00:25:08,266 --> 00:25:13,133 My name is Daniel Lyons and I have booked the conjugal suite. 487 00:25:13,999 --> 00:25:15,930 Mi nombre es Daniel Lyons. 488 00:25:16,154 --> 00:25:18,368 Ha reservado la suite conyugal. 489 00:25:18,473 --> 00:25:19,930 First door on the right. 490 00:25:22,586 --> 00:25:23,586 Thanks. 491 00:25:34,507 --> 00:25:35,671 There you are. 492 00:25:36,687 --> 00:25:37,687 Hey. 493 00:25:40,265 --> 00:25:41,742 Look at this room. 494 00:25:53,843 --> 00:25:56,617 God. Hello. 495 00:25:57,322 --> 00:25:58,484 Hi. 496 00:26:08,631 --> 00:26:10,694 So what they've done now is this. 497 00:26:11,225 --> 00:26:13,395 Beckindole won't let me drive across Manchester 498 00:26:13,420 --> 00:26:14,803 because of the congestion charge, 499 00:26:14,828 --> 00:26:18,006 so I have to pick things up from the depot on my bike, 500 00:26:18,303 --> 00:26:21,419 large or small, doesn't matter, I have to carry them on my bike 501 00:26:21,444 --> 00:26:25,708 out of the congestion zone to a designated Beckindole car park 502 00:26:25,733 --> 00:26:28,038 full of Beckindole vans. 503 00:26:28,092 --> 00:26:30,810 I'm not allowed to use my own van, even if I had one, 504 00:26:30,835 --> 00:26:34,592 in case I build my own business in my spare time, 505 00:26:34,853 --> 00:26:38,614 so I can only use Beckindole vans, and I'm allocated one 506 00:26:38,639 --> 00:26:42,856 and I go to deliver my parcel, leave my bike, God knows where, 507 00:26:42,881 --> 00:26:44,641 because I'm not allowed to put it in the van. 508 00:26:45,232 --> 00:26:49,676 £7.60 an hour, except I only get £3.90 because I'm new, 509 00:26:49,701 --> 00:26:51,114 so I'm classified as an apprentice. 510 00:26:51,357 --> 00:26:53,044 So what are the five jobs? 511 00:26:53,568 --> 00:26:55,005 Celeste said you had five. 512 00:26:56,365 --> 00:27:00,177 Don't use her name. Not here! That's not fair. 513 00:27:02,630 --> 00:27:06,615 Delivery, courier, hospitality, pizza, and... 514 00:27:07,164 --> 00:27:11,154 Er, drug tests! I'm a guinea pig. 515 00:27:12,263 --> 00:27:14,029 The gig economy, that's me. 516 00:27:15,286 --> 00:27:16,568 And what does she do? 517 00:27:18,410 --> 00:27:19,691 Book-keeping. 518 00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:24,332 She used to have a staff of 25, 519 00:27:24,629 --> 00:27:26,949 now she does the budgets for local primary schools. 520 00:27:27,403 --> 00:27:28,817 She never complains. 521 00:27:30,070 --> 00:27:31,105 That pisses me off. 522 00:27:31,106 --> 00:27:35,559 I wish she would complain but, no, I get this monument. 523 00:27:36,011 --> 00:27:37,762 But that house is enormous. 524 00:27:38,364 --> 00:27:40,926 Your gran's. You could sell it, have 100,000 each! 525 00:27:40,951 --> 00:27:42,590 You could all sail through the recession. 526 00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:45,350 Houses don't shift these days. No-one's got any money to spend. 527 00:27:45,379 --> 00:27:46,598 You could try. 528 00:27:47,086 --> 00:27:49,067 The man who lost a million quid. 529 00:27:50,090 --> 00:27:52,659 I lost 20,000, which might be nothing to you, 530 00:27:52,684 --> 00:27:54,308 but it's left me stuck in this place. 531 00:27:55,002 --> 00:27:56,636 Know when you're lucky, Steve. 532 00:27:57,620 --> 00:27:59,675 Did you register this address for the election? 533 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:01,784 I never got round to it. 534 00:28:03,217 --> 00:28:04,448 But now you can't vote. 535 00:28:04,777 --> 00:28:05,831 What's it matter? 536 00:28:09,844 --> 00:28:11,300 Missed call. 537 00:28:11,947 --> 00:28:13,071 It's the wife. 538 00:28:13,221 --> 00:28:14,257 Stop it. 539 00:28:15,605 --> 00:28:17,300 Where's 0116? 540 00:28:17,515 --> 00:28:18,573 Leicester, I think. 541 00:29:30,548 --> 00:29:31,743 Hello, Signor. 542 00:29:33,439 --> 00:29:36,070 Family link override, not Muriel, not Celeste. 543 00:29:36,071 --> 00:29:37,126 Thanks. Call. 544 00:29:37,509 --> 00:29:39,789 Family link, Stephen calling. 545 00:29:40,219 --> 00:29:42,844 OK. Hello. Funny time of day. 546 00:29:47,289 --> 00:29:49,539 Hey, can it wait? I'm a little bit busy. Is it important? 547 00:29:49,766 --> 00:29:53,061 Hola, esta nueva Danielo en Madrido. 548 00:29:53,062 --> 00:29:55,805 Hasta la vista, paella, si, si, si. 549 00:29:56,383 --> 00:29:59,727 Er, OK, so I didn't want to wait, so... 550 00:30:01,405 --> 00:30:02,608 are the kids there, Rosie? 551 00:30:02,633 --> 00:30:04,289 Er, no, why, what is it? 552 00:30:04,492 --> 00:30:07,039 Er, so I got a call, and erm... 553 00:30:08,565 --> 00:30:09,796 Dad's dead. 554 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:12,508 No way. 555 00:30:14,182 --> 00:30:15,245 Are you kidding? 556 00:30:15,515 --> 00:30:16,984 No, seriously, it's for real. 557 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,359 No, I made it up, I thought it would be funny. 558 00:30:20,679 --> 00:30:21,905 No, he's dead. 559 00:30:22,213 --> 00:30:23,245 He's gone. 560 00:30:24,538 --> 00:30:26,507 Two days, she said, he's gone. 561 00:30:27,351 --> 00:30:29,092 Who did, Jacqueline? 562 00:30:29,499 --> 00:30:31,468 Yeah, yeah, she phoned me. 563 00:30:31,554 --> 00:30:33,687 Oh, my God, he was only 69. 564 00:30:35,804 --> 00:30:37,413 We never made it to his birthday. 565 00:30:38,132 --> 00:30:39,476 So what happened? 566 00:30:40,317 --> 00:30:41,614 He was hit by a bike. 567 00:30:42,100 --> 00:30:43,100 Sorry! 568 00:30:43,351 --> 00:30:48,132 I mean, a bicycle. She said he was hit by a Rideree bike. 569 00:30:48,835 --> 00:30:49,920 A bike? 570 00:30:50,669 --> 00:30:51,677 Killed him? 571 00:30:51,778 --> 00:30:53,092 Stephen, are you kidding us? 572 00:30:53,678 --> 00:30:55,087 No, the bike didn't kill him. 573 00:30:55,088 --> 00:30:57,193 The bike knocked him over 574 00:30:57,218 --> 00:31:03,037 and he had a scratch on his hand, er, that was all. 575 00:31:03,233 --> 00:31:04,647 This is what Jacqueline said. 576 00:31:04,775 --> 00:31:09,043 Erm, he was fine, he had a scratch, 577 00:31:09,068 --> 00:31:11,095 but that turned into blood poisoning. 578 00:31:11,096 --> 00:31:13,600 Oh, my God. Sepsis. 579 00:31:13,766 --> 00:31:14,782 Yeah. 580 00:31:17,102 --> 00:31:18,890 And they tried all the antibiotics, 581 00:31:18,915 --> 00:31:20,554 but they didn't work any more, so... 582 00:31:23,588 --> 00:31:24,874 A scratch on his hand. 583 00:31:26,178 --> 00:31:27,842 He was hit by a bike? 584 00:31:28,569 --> 00:31:30,078 So they took him to hospital, 585 00:31:30,467 --> 00:31:32,124 one o'clock this afternoon... 586 00:31:33,993 --> 00:31:36,280 organ failure, and gone. 587 00:31:37,725 --> 00:31:40,123 - What was he delivering, the bike? - Oh, Rosie, don't. 588 00:31:40,148 --> 00:31:41,560 I want to know. 589 00:31:41,671 --> 00:31:43,318 Actually I'd like to know. 590 00:31:43,498 --> 00:31:46,317 I mean, was he killed by a chicken vindaloo? 591 00:31:46,342 --> 00:31:47,782 You know what? You lot are horrible. 592 00:31:47,910 --> 00:31:50,404 No, he was horrible, Danny. He was. 593 00:31:50,451 --> 00:31:51,928 Oh, for God's sake. 594 00:31:52,059 --> 00:31:54,074 He slept with someone else and left us... 595 00:31:54,075 --> 00:31:56,078 is it really the worst crime in the world? 596 00:31:56,079 --> 00:31:59,267 Yeah, and then he had a whole second family with Jacqueline, 597 00:31:59,292 --> 00:32:00,579 and did he ever bother with us? 598 00:32:00,604 --> 00:32:02,438 And that's why, Rosie, 599 00:32:02,463 --> 00:32:04,501 because that's how you spoke to him every time. 600 00:32:04,526 --> 00:32:07,549 You can't hate someone and expect him to want to visit, can you? 601 00:32:07,612 --> 00:32:10,409 Oh, nice one, Danny. Now you love him, now he's dead. 602 00:32:10,729 --> 00:32:12,073 Cut the link. 603 00:32:13,621 --> 00:32:15,601 That was a bit hard, Dan. 604 00:32:17,034 --> 00:32:18,074 What a mess. 605 00:32:19,706 --> 00:32:21,026 Hey, I'm sorry. 606 00:32:21,843 --> 00:32:22,971 Yeah, me too. 607 00:32:26,222 --> 00:32:27,258 And me. 608 00:32:31,819 --> 00:32:32,819 You okay? 609 00:32:34,748 --> 00:32:35,767 No. 610 00:33:07,783 --> 00:33:10,618 I'm right though, because look at it from my point of view. 611 00:33:10,938 --> 00:33:15,040 Mum and Dad had Stephen, fine, they had you, fine, 612 00:33:15,243 --> 00:33:17,585 they had Daniel, they had a great, big, gay baby 613 00:33:17,610 --> 00:33:18,868 and they were still fine, 614 00:33:19,060 --> 00:33:20,657 then they had me and Dad buggered off. 615 00:33:21,060 --> 00:33:22,500 If that's not my fault then what is? 616 00:33:22,852 --> 00:33:24,422 But it's not your fault. 617 00:33:24,931 --> 00:33:28,524 I don't mean fault, I just mean there I was and off he went. 618 00:33:28,782 --> 00:33:30,397 Maybe it was just bad timing. 619 00:33:30,422 --> 00:33:33,391 That's when he met Jacqueline, just happened to be then. 620 00:33:33,501 --> 00:33:36,235 Jacqueline, I'll never forget that... 621 00:33:36,260 --> 00:33:39,727 "Don't call me Jackie, my name is Jacqueline." 622 00:33:41,993 --> 00:33:45,038 Which proves my point, cos he wasn't a wanderer. 623 00:33:45,209 --> 00:33:47,449 He stayed with Jacqueline, they had a son and everything. 624 00:33:47,623 --> 00:33:48,693 He was faithful, 625 00:33:49,381 --> 00:33:51,841 so the only time he wasn't was when I came along. 626 00:33:53,895 --> 00:33:55,568 It's because he couldn't cope. 627 00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:58,826 I don't know, maybe. 628 00:33:59,008 --> 00:34:00,055 Definitely. 629 00:34:00,857 --> 00:34:02,537 Just too much of a coward. 630 00:34:05,005 --> 00:34:06,810 I just wish I'd asked him, 631 00:34:06,895 --> 00:34:09,050 but I never had anything to say to him really. 632 00:34:09,075 --> 00:34:12,560 Whenever I saw him, I'd just sit there and think, 633 00:34:13,169 --> 00:34:14,443 "What shall I say?" 634 00:34:15,788 --> 00:34:17,138 I had a lot to say. 635 00:34:18,206 --> 00:34:19,242 Too late now. 636 00:34:21,895 --> 00:34:23,097 His loss. 637 00:34:23,098 --> 00:34:24,481 Oh, that's the truth. 638 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:28,473 I always say, Rosie, shame on him. 639 00:34:29,815 --> 00:34:31,481 Shame on our father's head. 640 00:34:32,921 --> 00:34:33,925 Shame. 641 00:34:35,293 --> 00:34:36,903 As the polls open, it's being called 642 00:34:36,928 --> 00:34:40,045 the most unpredictable general election in living memory. 643 00:34:40,364 --> 00:34:43,049 Tensions are high, with the major parties keeping an eye 644 00:34:43,074 --> 00:34:45,247 on the Four Star Party's wild card vote. 645 00:34:46,090 --> 00:34:48,348 I think I might be a little bit tipsy! 646 00:34:50,122 --> 00:34:52,323 I haven't even voted yet, I'll be squiffy, 647 00:34:52,348 --> 00:34:54,125 I'll probably tick the wrong box! 648 00:34:54,972 --> 00:34:58,628 Vivienne Rook has refused to appear on any terrestrial channel. 649 00:34:58,885 --> 00:35:01,611 She's turned down every interview and every debate, 650 00:35:01,636 --> 00:35:05,072 restricting herself to her own channel, Four Star Live. 651 00:35:05,073 --> 00:35:08,988 But Viv, campaigning isn't allowed on election day. 652 00:35:09,013 --> 00:35:11,713 This isn't a campaign, this is my channel, 653 00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:13,714 this is my home. 654 00:35:19,691 --> 00:35:22,589 This is British wine for British people, 655 00:35:22,747 --> 00:35:26,847 and what it deserves is tax breaks and subsidised transport. 656 00:35:27,816 --> 00:35:29,652 But where will the money come from, Viv? 657 00:35:29,847 --> 00:35:31,075 You can't raise taxes. 658 00:35:31,076 --> 00:35:34,313 I'll impose a tariff on wines from abroad. 659 00:35:34,338 --> 00:35:35,374 Let them pay. 660 00:35:38,064 --> 00:35:39,908 He didn't die for nothing. 661 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,447 He died for us. 662 00:35:41,867 --> 00:35:45,874 Shame on every politician who has ever let our soldiers down. 663 00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:47,383 ♪ Tragedy ♪ 664 00:35:47,822 --> 00:35:49,938 ♪ When the feeling's gone and you can't go on ♪ 665 00:35:49,963 --> 00:35:51,353 ♪ It's tragedy ♪ 666 00:35:51,642 --> 00:35:53,711 ♪ When the morning cries and you don't know why ♪ 667 00:35:53,736 --> 00:35:55,640 ♪ It's hard to bear ♪ 668 00:35:55,665 --> 00:35:57,469 ♪ With no-one to love you ♪ 669 00:35:57,494 --> 00:35:59,430 ♪ You're going nowhere ♪ 670 00:36:01,352 --> 00:36:02,579 ♪ Tragedy ♪ 671 00:36:03,207 --> 00:36:05,063 ♪ When you lose control and you got no soul ♪ 672 00:36:05,064 --> 00:36:06,714 ♪ It's tragedy ♪ 673 00:36:07,081 --> 00:36:09,147 ♪ When the morning cries and your heart just dies ♪ 674 00:36:09,172 --> 00:36:10,526 ♪ It's hard to bear ♪ 675 00:36:10,901 --> 00:36:12,829 ♪ With no-one beside you ♪ 676 00:36:12,854 --> 00:36:14,693 ♪ You're going nowhere ♪ 677 00:36:24,091 --> 00:36:26,346 False facts, every day. 678 00:36:27,077 --> 00:36:28,603 Do you know where you can find the truth? 679 00:36:28,627 --> 00:36:31,330 Right here, Four Star Channel. 680 00:36:31,619 --> 00:36:34,139 God help us. We're the only ones. 681 00:36:37,775 --> 00:36:38,775 Are you done? 682 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:39,971 You left-wing hippie. 683 00:36:39,996 --> 00:36:41,578 This is nice, like the old days 684 00:36:41,603 --> 00:36:43,618 It's 100 quid if I get it back before midnight. 685 00:36:44,094 --> 00:36:46,195 I love it, us lot in one car. 686 00:36:46,220 --> 00:36:48,282 We never do this. Should have bought sweets. 687 00:36:48,932 --> 00:36:50,259 Leicester, here we come. 688 00:36:50,284 --> 00:36:51,829 I'm just making sure he's dead. 689 00:36:55,923 --> 00:36:57,593 Now you did vote, you two? 690 00:36:57,618 --> 00:36:59,065 Did it by post, last week. 691 00:36:59,066 --> 00:37:00,679 No-one goes and does it by hand any more. 692 00:37:00,704 --> 00:37:02,312 Don't forget your passports. 693 00:37:02,337 --> 00:37:03,673 They're going to Scotland! 694 00:37:03,698 --> 00:37:05,853 Anything could happen in this election. 695 00:37:05,878 --> 00:37:07,617 If your lot get into power, 696 00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:09,892 Scotland could be divorced by midnight. 697 00:37:09,917 --> 00:37:11,360 Then they'll be stranded. 698 00:37:11,991 --> 00:37:14,142 Go, have a lovely time. 699 00:37:14,290 --> 00:37:17,334 Celebrate. It's your grandad's funeral. 700 00:37:17,359 --> 00:37:19,096 This is a very fine day. 701 00:37:19,097 --> 00:37:20,727 Don't listen to her. 702 00:37:21,033 --> 00:37:22,336 Go and have fun. 703 00:37:23,057 --> 00:37:24,898 Edinburgh is beautiful. 704 00:37:25,344 --> 00:37:27,977 Bye, then. See you next week. 705 00:37:29,328 --> 00:37:30,445 Bye, darling. 706 00:37:31,734 --> 00:37:33,678 Oh, my God. They believed us. 707 00:37:33,703 --> 00:37:36,080 They'll understand. When they see in ten days' time 708 00:37:36,081 --> 00:37:40,305 they'll be like, "Oh, my God, that is infinite!" 709 00:37:42,117 --> 00:37:47,312 Destination Liverpool, Imperial B&B, Shiel Road, L6. 710 00:37:47,337 --> 00:37:48,375 Auto drive on. 711 00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:50,055 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 712 00:37:52,243 --> 00:37:53,295 Bye! 713 00:38:14,492 --> 00:38:15,543 Hey, there. 714 00:38:15,568 --> 00:38:16,679 Hello. 715 00:38:16,906 --> 00:38:18,093 Thanks for coming. 716 00:38:18,540 --> 00:38:20,147 - Stephen. - Steven. 717 00:38:20,863 --> 00:38:22,491 Killed by a bike. 718 00:38:23,088 --> 00:38:24,128 Shocking. 719 00:38:25,580 --> 00:38:26,967 Poor old Dad. 720 00:38:27,359 --> 00:38:30,803 Come for a drink after. You're very welcome, all of you. 721 00:38:31,648 --> 00:38:34,217 I saw you on the TV with the bomb. 722 00:38:36,288 --> 00:38:38,193 I'll see you later. Stephen. 723 00:38:38,351 --> 00:38:39,355 Steven. 724 00:38:44,810 --> 00:38:48,092 I still maintain it's not legal to call two sons the same name. 725 00:38:48,318 --> 00:38:49,538 He's Steven with a V. 726 00:38:49,563 --> 00:38:52,100 Jacqueline chose Steven with a V after her dad. 727 00:38:52,125 --> 00:38:53,428 You know that. 728 00:38:53,816 --> 00:38:54,816 Jacqueline. 729 00:38:55,830 --> 00:38:57,357 Doesn't feel like a brother. 730 00:38:57,821 --> 00:38:59,475 Half brother, if that. 731 00:39:00,465 --> 00:39:01,950 What does he do these days? 732 00:39:01,974 --> 00:39:03,333 He's a pharmacist. 733 00:39:03,923 --> 00:39:04,978 With a V. 734 00:39:05,755 --> 00:39:07,974 He's a varmacist! 735 00:39:10,755 --> 00:39:14,114 Oh, my God. This isn't the crematorium. 736 00:39:14,688 --> 00:39:15,688 What do you mean? 737 00:39:15,713 --> 00:39:18,826 This place isn't a crematorium, it's an aquatorium. 738 00:39:19,395 --> 00:39:23,787 They don't burn him, he gets dissolved. 739 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,232 Bethany Bisme-Lyons. Thank you. 740 00:39:35,950 --> 00:39:38,239 Lizzie Mbeko. Thank you. 741 00:39:38,264 --> 00:39:39,540 If you'd like to get on board 742 00:39:39,565 --> 00:39:41,419 we'll take you across as soon as you are ready. 743 00:40:25,540 --> 00:40:29,487 It's called alkaline hydrolysis, better for the environment. 744 00:40:29,879 --> 00:40:31,793 We were always green, this side of the family. 745 00:40:32,148 --> 00:40:34,730 Uncle Ted was buried in wicker, on a slope. 746 00:40:36,152 --> 00:40:37,738 So what do they do? 747 00:40:37,917 --> 00:40:40,523 Put the body in a big tube, fill it with water, 748 00:40:40,548 --> 00:40:41,548 heat it up. 749 00:40:42,088 --> 00:40:43,088 They boil him? 750 00:40:43,437 --> 00:40:44,488 My God. 751 00:40:44,886 --> 00:40:47,409 Boil in the bag, like sous vide. 752 00:40:49,931 --> 00:40:51,339 Is it worse than burning? 753 00:40:52,503 --> 00:40:54,393 I mean it is, I know, but why? 754 00:40:55,259 --> 00:40:56,291 The eyes. 755 00:41:01,507 --> 00:41:04,151 You dissolve, then you get rinsed. 756 00:41:04,810 --> 00:41:07,682 Then they pour you out into a tub, 757 00:41:08,225 --> 00:41:10,753 you get flushed down the drain, 758 00:41:10,778 --> 00:41:11,817 out to sea... 759 00:41:13,041 --> 00:41:14,183 the end. 760 00:41:20,555 --> 00:41:24,493 The Glenside facility offers alkaline hydrolysis, 761 00:41:24,494 --> 00:41:27,130 the modern alternative to burial or cremation. 762 00:41:27,514 --> 00:41:30,223 The remains of your loved one are broken down into liquid... 763 00:41:41,103 --> 00:41:43,119 Goodbye, Vince. 764 00:41:49,833 --> 00:41:51,700 I tell you what, Jacqueline is true to form. 765 00:41:52,004 --> 00:41:53,489 No money behind the bar. 766 00:41:53,542 --> 00:41:54,755 Any news from the polls? 767 00:41:54,780 --> 00:41:56,334 They're not allowed to say until ten o'clock. 768 00:41:56,358 --> 00:41:57,357 Low turnout though. 769 00:41:57,382 --> 00:42:00,004 See, it's like Viv Rook says, people are too thick. 770 00:42:00,161 --> 00:42:04,160 So Steven with a V just told me Dad didn't just work 771 00:42:04,185 --> 00:42:08,192 for that security firm, when he was 55, he put some money in 772 00:42:08,217 --> 00:42:10,572 like 2,000 quid, like shares. 773 00:42:10,573 --> 00:42:12,572 Three years ago, they sold the company, 774 00:42:12,573 --> 00:42:17,106 he got a pay-out, £75,000. 775 00:42:17,517 --> 00:42:19,454 - We get none of that. - Nothing. 776 00:42:20,196 --> 00:42:21,360 Here's to Vince. 777 00:42:21,434 --> 00:42:22,899 Yeah, Dad. 778 00:42:22,924 --> 00:42:23,938 To Dad. 779 00:42:25,466 --> 00:42:29,016 Hi, you lot. Famalam. Stephen. 780 00:42:29,204 --> 00:42:31,501 Steven. We were just toasting him. 781 00:42:32,119 --> 00:42:34,158 It's a nice little motor out front, Stephen. 782 00:42:34,665 --> 00:42:36,212 Yeah, it is, Steven, yeah, I like it. 783 00:42:36,324 --> 00:42:38,267 - 2.2 litre. - Yeah. 784 00:42:38,681 --> 00:42:40,806 Well, you always were very smart. 785 00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:45,485 Now, you've all got one of these. 786 00:42:45,510 --> 00:42:48,110 It's just something to remember him by. 787 00:42:50,289 --> 00:42:52,454 We should meet up some time. 788 00:42:52,594 --> 00:42:55,226 Go for dinner. That would be nice. 789 00:42:56,481 --> 00:42:59,218 Hey, you were amazing with that bomb, Edith. 790 00:42:59,765 --> 00:43:00,960 Are you all right now? 791 00:43:01,827 --> 00:43:03,918 Not really, no, I'm poisoned. 792 00:43:05,007 --> 00:43:09,443 Oh, well, that is a thing, isn't it? 793 00:43:11,495 --> 00:43:14,526 Well, see you in a bit, Stephen. 794 00:43:14,551 --> 00:43:15,693 Steven. 795 00:43:20,492 --> 00:43:21,842 Oh, my God. 796 00:43:22,717 --> 00:43:25,147 - Daddy. - That is weird. 797 00:43:25,172 --> 00:43:27,389 - Isn't that weird? - Is that all that's left? 798 00:43:27,456 --> 00:43:28,709 He looks like tea. 799 00:43:29,378 --> 00:43:31,982 Weak tea. Is that all we are in the end, tea? 800 00:43:32,492 --> 00:43:34,397 Just like scattering the ashes, I suppose. 801 00:43:34,511 --> 00:43:35,920 Can't do this with ashes. 802 00:43:37,116 --> 00:43:38,641 - Cheers. - Edith! 803 00:43:38,666 --> 00:43:39,977 - You can't do that! - It's acid! 804 00:43:40,767 --> 00:43:41,867 It's alkaline. 805 00:43:42,711 --> 00:43:43,890 What's he taste like? 806 00:43:43,915 --> 00:43:45,437 - Soap. - Soap. 807 00:43:45,696 --> 00:43:47,079 Like antiseptic gel. 808 00:43:47,485 --> 00:43:49,852 I can't believe you just did that! 809 00:43:49,877 --> 00:43:51,055 It's my DNA. 810 00:43:51,444 --> 00:43:52,665 We are as one. 811 00:43:53,823 --> 00:43:55,196 Cheers, Jackie. 812 00:43:58,428 --> 00:44:00,250 Why didn't you come home for Mum's funeral? 813 00:44:01,064 --> 00:44:02,111 Don't do that. 814 00:44:02,362 --> 00:44:03,555 Why not? 815 00:44:06,138 --> 00:44:07,735 I was stuck in Canada. 816 00:44:08,583 --> 00:44:09,647 Could have come home. 817 00:44:11,708 --> 00:44:12,771 I didn't want to. 818 00:44:13,264 --> 00:44:14,297 Why not? 819 00:44:16,459 --> 00:44:18,062 Because it was her funeral. 820 00:44:25,773 --> 00:44:28,257 I keep wondering whether she'd be proud of me. 821 00:44:29,351 --> 00:44:30,968 Of course she would. 822 00:44:31,969 --> 00:44:33,996 No job, another kid without his dad, 823 00:44:34,434 --> 00:44:35,609 I don't know if she would. 824 00:44:37,917 --> 00:44:40,560 She was tough, Edith. 825 00:44:40,585 --> 00:44:42,562 She wasn't just nice, she was tough. 826 00:44:42,812 --> 00:44:46,929 And I wonder if she'd think I was mad, with Viktor. 827 00:44:47,113 --> 00:44:49,524 I think she'd be ashamed, some of the things I've done. 828 00:44:49,549 --> 00:44:51,164 You could never do anything wrong. 829 00:44:51,569 --> 00:44:53,520 Oh, trust me. 830 00:44:54,564 --> 00:44:55,905 She'd kill me. 831 00:44:57,339 --> 00:44:59,030 If she knew, she'd kill me. 832 00:45:03,250 --> 00:45:06,084 All that stuff they say about them looking down on you... 833 00:45:08,711 --> 00:45:09,881 I hope they don't. 834 00:45:33,669 --> 00:45:35,912 Phone call, Bethany Bisme-Lyons. 835 00:45:35,937 --> 00:45:38,771 - Oh, Signor, open on link. - Link open. 836 00:45:39,527 --> 00:45:41,701 Hello, darling, how is it? 837 00:45:42,037 --> 00:45:43,088 Hoots, mon! 838 00:45:44,221 --> 00:45:45,409 Bethany? 839 00:45:45,810 --> 00:45:47,002 Can you hear me? 840 00:45:48,455 --> 00:45:49,659 Beth, are you all right? 841 00:45:51,555 --> 00:45:53,916 Can you help me, please? 842 00:45:54,318 --> 00:45:56,065 What is it, sweetheart? What's wrong? 843 00:45:56,940 --> 00:45:58,354 I'm here, what is it? 844 00:45:58,666 --> 00:45:59,768 I'm sorry. 845 00:46:00,190 --> 00:46:01,861 Are you all right? Are you hurt? 846 00:46:03,243 --> 00:46:05,860 Whatever it is, I will fix it, I promise you. 847 00:46:07,085 --> 00:46:08,173 Now, tell me. 848 00:46:09,566 --> 00:46:12,384 She's in Liverpool, not Scotland. She's in bloody Liverpool. 849 00:46:12,673 --> 00:46:15,529 What for? What's she done? 850 00:46:15,554 --> 00:46:17,571 She won't say, God knows. 851 00:46:17,703 --> 00:46:18,977 I'll call Stephen. 852 00:46:19,002 --> 00:46:20,002 No. 853 00:46:22,017 --> 00:46:23,017 Please. 854 00:46:24,229 --> 00:46:26,525 Muriel, don't. She called me. 855 00:46:26,550 --> 00:46:27,550 Go. 856 00:46:39,517 --> 00:46:40,922 Just tell me what's happened. 857 00:46:41,395 --> 00:46:42,938 - I can't. - Why not? 858 00:46:43,143 --> 00:46:44,272 You'll hate me. 859 00:46:44,297 --> 00:46:45,984 I could never hate you. 860 00:46:46,192 --> 00:46:47,196 Never. 861 00:47:05,789 --> 00:47:06,789 Oh... 862 00:47:10,648 --> 00:47:11,859 They won't tell me. 863 00:47:11,884 --> 00:47:13,351 All I've heard is crying. 864 00:47:13,376 --> 00:47:16,483 I did try, I said, "Let me in," but they wouldn't. 865 00:47:16,508 --> 00:47:19,054 What are you doing in Liverpool? Why did you lie? 866 00:47:19,079 --> 00:47:20,748 - It's the only place they do it. - Do what? 867 00:47:20,772 --> 00:47:21,836 The operation. 868 00:47:22,050 --> 00:47:23,461 What operation? 869 00:47:29,214 --> 00:47:30,269 It's only my mum. 870 00:47:30,727 --> 00:47:33,078 - You promised me. - It's okay. 871 00:47:33,103 --> 00:47:34,273 I'm here now. 872 00:47:34,792 --> 00:47:37,086 You have nothing to worry about. 873 00:47:39,278 --> 00:47:40,930 So what happened to your eye? 874 00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:42,680 Lizzie? 875 00:47:44,556 --> 00:47:45,750 Can you tell me? 876 00:47:45,941 --> 00:47:47,835 It's gone wrong, but we can fix it. 877 00:47:47,860 --> 00:47:49,116 We just need to find them. 878 00:47:50,802 --> 00:47:52,069 Let me see. 879 00:47:53,417 --> 00:47:54,765 Let me see your eye. 880 00:48:00,244 --> 00:48:01,244 Okay. 881 00:48:01,889 --> 00:48:03,483 Well, that's not too bad. 882 00:48:04,185 --> 00:48:05,304 Hello, Lizzie. 883 00:48:05,604 --> 00:48:06,604 Hello. 884 00:48:06,857 --> 00:48:08,522 So what have you had done, hm? 885 00:48:09,190 --> 00:48:10,663 You daft things. 886 00:48:11,943 --> 00:48:13,976 You haven't had a face-lift, have you, at your age? 887 00:48:15,874 --> 00:48:18,366 It's okay but there is a lot of swelling, 888 00:48:18,391 --> 00:48:19,423 but that will calm down. 889 00:48:21,740 --> 00:48:22,740 What? 890 00:48:23,314 --> 00:48:25,037 I can't control it. 891 00:48:25,220 --> 00:48:26,267 What are you doing? 892 00:48:26,439 --> 00:48:27,818 It won't stay still. 893 00:48:27,843 --> 00:48:29,951 Lizzie, stop it, what are you doing? 894 00:48:30,028 --> 00:48:31,326 I can't see. 895 00:48:32,178 --> 00:48:33,326 What is that? 896 00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:36,568 What have you done? 897 00:48:37,353 --> 00:48:39,271 - It's a camera. - What? 898 00:48:39,420 --> 00:48:42,740 They promised us, they said we could see, digital vision. 899 00:48:43,106 --> 00:48:45,161 But, but that's not her eye. 900 00:48:46,029 --> 00:48:47,693 What's happened to her eye? Where is it? 901 00:48:47,718 --> 00:48:49,373 - They took it out. - Who did? 902 00:48:49,398 --> 00:48:51,693 - The people on the boat. - What boat? 903 00:48:51,732 --> 00:48:55,912 They said to me, "You're next," but I couldn't, I was too scared. 904 00:48:55,937 --> 00:48:57,678 I can't see with this eye. 905 00:48:57,920 --> 00:48:59,005 It's supposed to integrate, 906 00:48:59,030 --> 00:49:01,247 I'm supposed to see the output in my head, but I can't. 907 00:49:01,329 --> 00:49:03,083 My eyesight's over there. 908 00:49:05,893 --> 00:49:06,893 Oh! 909 00:49:11,070 --> 00:49:12,101 Oh! 910 00:49:12,747 --> 00:49:13,942 Your mother's on the way. 911 00:49:14,140 --> 00:49:15,187 God, help. 912 00:49:15,212 --> 00:49:16,770 It's been going on for decades, 913 00:49:16,850 --> 00:49:20,114 cruise ships arrive at the docks specially adapted as hospitals, 914 00:49:20,528 --> 00:49:23,372 run by Russians, Slovakians, Romanians, 915 00:49:23,397 --> 00:49:25,989 and people go on board for cheap operations. 916 00:49:26,014 --> 00:49:30,300 It was face-lifts in the '90s, gender reassignment in the 2000s, 917 00:49:30,325 --> 00:49:33,121 and now they've discovered transhumans. 918 00:49:33,146 --> 00:49:34,261 But they're breaking the law. 919 00:49:34,285 --> 00:49:37,933 This lot are. They're butchers. But you try finding them. 920 00:49:37,958 --> 00:49:39,246 It's a great big ship. 921 00:49:39,271 --> 00:49:42,266 I mean, try finding the owners, try suing them. 922 00:49:42,508 --> 00:49:44,958 There's a chain of ownership bouncing round and round the world 923 00:49:44,982 --> 00:49:47,246 until you end up with no-one and the ship sails on. 924 00:49:47,328 --> 00:49:50,394 And her eye, her real eye? 925 00:49:50,536 --> 00:49:52,590 Gone, junked. 926 00:49:54,187 --> 00:49:58,191 If you had 500,000, they say there are grafts now to integrate 927 00:49:58,216 --> 00:50:00,199 the lens with the optical nerve, but... 928 00:50:00,224 --> 00:50:03,023 not for kids like that, in Liverpool. 929 00:50:03,705 --> 00:50:06,374 Somewhere there's a golden world where these things are possible, 930 00:50:06,399 --> 00:50:07,780 but it's never here, is it? 931 00:50:11,260 --> 00:50:12,271 Call Stephen. 932 00:50:12,296 --> 00:50:14,350 Calling Stephen Lyons. 933 00:50:57,281 --> 00:50:58,551 See you later, Fran! 934 00:51:05,595 --> 00:51:07,552 - See you tonight, yeah? - Yeah. 935 00:51:10,203 --> 00:51:12,638 Stephen Lyons not answering. 936 00:51:20,485 --> 00:51:21,557 Did you tell him? 937 00:51:23,251 --> 00:51:27,004 You gave away £10,000 and your dad works every hour! 938 00:51:32,222 --> 00:51:34,973 Oh, to hell with it. He can wait. 939 00:51:36,308 --> 00:51:38,113 Thank God you were scared, 940 00:51:38,138 --> 00:51:39,449 it saved you, Beth. 941 00:51:40,392 --> 00:51:42,320 It saved you. 942 00:52:00,275 --> 00:52:01,358 It's gone ten. 943 00:52:01,698 --> 00:52:05,144 If the exit polls are correct, this is an extraordinary result. 944 00:52:05,300 --> 00:52:08,448 We're seeing 288 seats for the Conservatives, 945 00:52:08,473 --> 00:52:10,769 287 seats for Labour 946 00:52:10,794 --> 00:52:15,065 and an astonishing 15 seats for Vivienne Rook's Four Star Party. 947 00:52:15,090 --> 00:52:18,673 That's 15 seats, leaving the balance of power in the United Kingdom 948 00:52:18,706 --> 00:52:21,515 firmly in the hands of Vivienne Rook. 949 00:52:23,026 --> 00:52:28,183 I will not... I will not form a pact with the Tories, 950 00:52:28,208 --> 00:52:30,814 I will not form a pact with Labour. 951 00:52:31,104 --> 00:52:35,049 Instead, for every vote in the House of Commons, 952 00:52:35,217 --> 00:52:37,275 - they can come to me. - Yeah! 953 00:52:38,627 --> 00:52:43,775 They can come to me and I will decide. 954 00:52:53,131 --> 00:52:54,580 Happy now, Rosie? 955 00:52:55,954 --> 00:52:57,009 Yeah. 956 00:52:57,166 --> 00:52:58,188 Hm. 957 00:53:00,205 --> 00:53:01,393 New world. 958 00:53:09,647 --> 00:53:11,048 Sorry! 959 00:53:50,242 --> 00:53:51,352 What are you doing? 960 00:54:23,485 --> 00:54:24,890 Hey, what are you doing? 961 00:54:25,257 --> 00:54:26,507 That's my bike! 962 00:55:07,303 --> 00:55:09,290 There she is, there she is! 963 00:55:09,674 --> 00:55:12,287 We need to get Viktor out. He could be executed. 964 00:55:32,999 --> 00:55:36,911 Astonishing! Astonishing!